Brother on Board
by J0HNS1LVER
Summary: Sabo survives the encounter with Saint Jalmack and is fished out of the water by some mountain bandits. Years later, a different Sabo sets sail with his younger brother Monkey D. Luffy to form the Straw Hat Pirates, bringing along his rifle Bonnie Anne. See how the story you know goes differently when Luffy has his brother on board.
1. Prologue

_**BROTHER ON BOARD**_

 **Summary – Sabo survives the encounter with Saint Jalmack and is fished out of the water by some mountain bandits. Years later, a different Sabo sets sail with his younger brother Monkey D. Luffy to form the Straw Hat Pirates.**

 **Disclaimer – I don't own One Piece or any of the characters. This is a non-profit fanfic.**

* * *

 **Prologue –**

The people of Goa Kingdom stood on the shore and watched with anticipation as the large galleon baring the visiting World Noble appeared over the horizon and sailed towards them.

Nobles, common citizens and even a handful of Mountain Bandits from the Dadan Family had gathered on the shore to witness the arrival of one of the famous Celestial Dragons.

But to the shock of all of them, a small fishing boat appeared in the harbor and began sailing out towards the sea. The Captain of the small boat was none-other than Sabo, one of the three infamous local nuisances in the kingdom. Worst yet, the ten year old was flying a black flag with a blue 'S' in front of a crossbones.

The crowd was shocked at Sabo's sudden interruption of the World Noble's reception ceremony but none more so than his own father Outlook III.

Sabo heard the shouts of the local policemen to come back but ignored them. This was his chance to finally escape his father.

"The scariest fate for me is to stay in this country and turn into someone else," Sabo said as he continued to sail onward. "I'm not gonna go back!"

"Is it Sabo on that ship?" Dogra of the Dadan Family asked as he peered through binoculars.

In one world, the tiny Mountain Bandit might have been alone. But in this universe, he had been accompanied by two full-sized Mountain Bandits.

The World Noble's ship entered the harbor. Sabo craned his head up at the massive gold-trimmed galleon that was ahead of him. The boy acted quickly and frantically spun the wheel. His stolen fishing boat veered off course and he managed to avoid crashing into the huge ship.

The World Noble Saint Jalmack stood at the front of his massive ship and noted the crowd that was waving flags and were overjoyed at his arrival.

"By the way, what is that?" the Celestial Dragon asked as he spotted Sabo's small fishing boat sailing passed his massive galleon in the other direction.

The World Noble pulled out a huge bazooka-like rifle and aimed it at Sabo's fishing boat and opened fire.

 **BOOOOOM!**

Everyone on the shore gasped in surprise as an explosion rocked Sabo's fishing boat.

"How rude is that?" Saint Jalmack complained.

"The fishing boat's been hit!"

"How's the child?"

"SAABOOOO!" Dogra and the other two Mountain Bandits screamed.

"Damn it, the ship is catching fire!" Sabo said as he pulled off his blue coat and attempted to beat out the flames. "Why did they shoot me like that?"

"Saint Jalmack! There's a child on that ship!"

"When someone flies a black flag, he's a pirate," Saint Jalmack said, "Regardless of who he is. But most importantly… A COMMONER SHOULDN'T CROSS THE PATH OF MY SHIP!" He aimed his gun again.

 **BOOOOOOM!**

Another explosion rocked the ship, this time right where Sabo had been standing. Sabo's black flag burned away to nothing and his signature top hat was blown off the burning wreckage of the ship and dropped onto the water.

Everyone stared in shock. The common people were horrified while the Nobles were annoyed.

Dogra stared at the burning remains of Sabo's ship in horror.

"SABO!" the two other Mountain Bandits cried out as they ran and dove into the water.

Sabo, Ace and Luffy might have been a pain in the ass for most of the Mountain Bandits but they weren't _that_ bad. The two Mountain Bandits dove underwater and swam frantically passed the World Noble's massive galleon.

Saint Jalmack didn't notice the bandits swimming passed him as he was now more concerned with the fact that his reception was much more subdued than before. It was as if his actions in disciplining that common child had upset them or something. Not that it mattered, of course.

The two Mountain Bandits came up on the other side of Saint Jalmack's galleon and surveyed the wreckage of Sabo's small stolen ship. There was no sign of the boy so they both dove underwater again.

It took a moment but one of them finally spotted Sabo's small body and grabbed him. Sabo was bleeding and badly burned… but he was breathing. He was still alive.

The two mountain bandits swam frantically back to the shore where they reunited with Dogra.

"Sabo! Is he okay?" the small man asked.

"Barely. We need to get him back home so he can be treated."

The trio of Mountain Bandits took the burned boy and ran off for Mount Corvo.

* * *

Back at Mount Corvo, Luffy, Magra and the rest of the Dadan Family were shocked first by the arrival of the badly burned Sabo then by the return of Ace carrying their burned leader.

Dadan and Sabo were both bandaged and tended to as best as the mountain bandits could manage. Dadan woke up shortly after her treatment but Sabo was unconscious for a lot longer.

* * *

Days later, Sabo finally regained consciousness.

"SABO! YOU'RE OKAY!" Luffy cheered and cried at the same time. "We were so worried!"

Ace scowled. "Wanna explain this?" He held up a letter.

"I had to get outta here," Sabo said. "I hate being a Noble and I hate living in that country. _You're_ my family. Not them."

"THEN WHY DID YOU TRY TO LEAVE US BEHIND!?" Ace demanded.

"Easy, easy!" Magra called out, "Ace, he just woke up. He's still hurt. Don't yell at him."

"It was the only way I could get away," Sabo eventually answered.

"You could have died!" Ace growled. "We checked in the town. They think you're dead. As far as your family knows you _are_ dead!"

"Good," Sabo said. "That means I don't ever have to go back."

"Next time you're not allowed to leave alone!" Luffy announced. "You've gotta set sail with one of us! That way we'll know you're okay."

"Who'd wanna sail with a weak crybaby like you?" Sabo asked.

"HEY! I'LL GET STRONGER!" Luffy insisted.

"I hope so…" Sabo said. "Who knows how long it'll take me to recover from this… I still want to be free... but I don't think I'm cut out to be a Pirate Captain anymore."

"GREAT! You can be on my crew!" Luffy decided.

"Quiet Luffy," Ace scolded him. "And I knew him before you so he'll be on _my_ crew."

"Hey, no fair!" Luffy complained.

Sabo shook his head, "I need to get stronger before I'm ready to be on _anyone's_ crew."

"Hey, hey, you kids calm down," Magra called out. "Sabo still needs to recover."

* * *

Seven years later, a seventeen year old Ace stood on the shore and was prepared to set off on his pirate journey.

Luffy, Sabo, Dadan and most of the Mountain Bandits had come to see him off.

"You sure you don't wanna come?" Ace asked Sabo.

Sabo shook his head. "I'm not ready yet. I need to get stronger before I can set out." Sabo reached into his pocket and pulled out a slip of paper. "Maybe you can help me with that by finding one of these…"

Ace took the paper and read it then looked at Sabo skeptically, "Really?"

"I almost died because of one of those," Sabo said. "Now I'm gonna turn around and use one to accomplish my goals."

"I'll see if I can find one for you," Ace agreed again as he boarded his skiff.

Fourteen year old Luffy gave Ace a wide grin. "See Ace? Sabo's gonna sail with me!"

Ace smirked. "I'm sure you can use all the help you can get."

"HEY!"

Ace smiled at Sabo, "Luffy's our younger brother. Make sure to look after him."

Sabo nodded as he remembered his own words from his letter seven years ago. "Right. We'll become the freest pirates ever then meet up again somewhere on the big, open sea."

"Yeah, and when he we see you again in three years we'll all be stronger!" Luffy added.

"I'll look forward to it," Ace said. He waved to his brothers and sailed off into the harbor.

* * *

One year later, Luffy carried a long wooden crate over to Sabo.

"Sabo! You got a present from Ace!" Luffy called out. "It was delivered to Makino's place."

"Looks like he found it," Sabo said with a wide grin as he took the crate from Luffy.

"What'd Ace find?" Luffy asked as he peered of Sabo's shoulder while he opened the box.

"Ah! She's gorgeous!" Sabo gushed as he pulled a long rifle out of the box. It was five feet long and had a polished black barrel with gold highlights. The handle was a smooth brown wood with the same gold highlights around it. The rifle also featured a scope on top of it and in the middle was a round revolving cartridge able to fit six rounds.

"What's that? Some kind of gun?" Luffy questioned.

"This isn't _just_ a gun, Luffy!" Sabo told him, "This is an Advanced Wheel-Lock Rifle with an added scope and custom revolving action!"

Luffy blinked. "But what about your pipe?"

"I'm trading up," Sabo said as he dropped his old pipe into the rifle's crate and continued to admire his new weapon. "I was nearly killed by one of those damn World Nobles wielding a rifle. Now _I'm_ gonna use this beautiful creature to accomplish my dream."

Sabo's smile turned dark. His near death experience had resulted in a deep grudge.

* * *

Two years later, seventeen year old Luffy and twenty year old Sabo set off on a small skiff.

Luffy wore his soon-to-be signature straw hat, a red vest, blue shorts and sandals.

Sabo stood much taller than Luffy at 6' 1.5". He looked even taller with his signature black top hat with the goggles around the base. His outfit consisted of black boots, beige pants, a dark blue waistcoat over a pale blue collared shirt with a white cravat and a long blue coat over it all.

Suddenly the water rose up in front of them to reveal the huge snarling Sea King that lived out in the harbor.

"I'll take it down," Sabo offered as he loaded a round into his rifle. Other than some wear on the handle that showed that the rifle had been well-used, Sabo's custom-made Advanced Wheel-Lock Rifle was still in the same beautiful condition that he'd gotten it in.

"No wait!" Luffy stopped Sabo off before he could open fire on the huge snarling monster. "I've got a score to settle with that thing. Lemme handle it."

Sabo shrugged and slung his long rifle back over his shoulder, "Fine. Go for it, little bro."

"I've been waiting for you sea monster!" Luffy told the Sea King.

"RRHHHAAA!" The Sea King roared and lunged at them.

"GUM GUM PISTOL!" Luffy stretched his rubber arm out with all the force of a pistol and drove his fist into the sea monster's face with the force of a pistol.

"GRRAAAH!" The sea monster let out a loud cry as it flailed around then crashed into the water.

 **SPLASH!**

"That was for Shanks! Stupid fish!" Luffy taunted the fallen sea monster.

"Now if we're gonna make this pirate-thing work, we'll need to find a crew," Sabo stated.

"Yeah, I think about ten people will do," Luffy decided.

"In that case we've gotta make sure they're the best of the best," Sabo advised.

"Of course," Luffy said, "only the best on my crew. That's why I have you as my First Mate."

Sabo grimaced. "Actually… if it's all the same to you… I'd prefer the title of Quartermaster. First mate would suggest that I'm above the rest of the crew. As Quartermaster I'd be the voice of the crew and your chief negotiator. 'Cause let's face it, you don't have the best people skills."

"Quartermaster, First Mate, same thing!" Luffy waved him off.

"No it isn't! There's a difference!"

"Don't worry about it!" Luffy turned and grinned out at the ocean before them. "Look out world! I'M GONNA BE KING OF THE PIRATES!"

Sabo nodded, "That's gonna be a tough title to earn but I'll be by your side the whole time. Along the way, I'm gonna accomplish my dream… I'm gonna take down the World Nobles."

Luffy frowned slightly at his brother's dark dream. But who was he to criticize someone else's biggest ambition? He quickly changed the subject.

"You know, it's such a nice day," Luffy said, "Too bad it has to end so badly."

"What makes you say that Luffy?"

"There's a big whirlpool right in front of us."

"OH CRAP!"

"And don't forget, I can't swim."

"IT'S A WHIRLPOOL! IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU CAN SWIM OR NOT!"

"Oh, that's right! Shishishishi! I guess we're going down!"

The two brothers had set out to shake the world but it seemed as though their journey was off to a rather rocky start.

* * *

So basically the concept is: One Piece with my version of Sabo on Luffy's crew from the very beginning.

And before anyone says anything, YES, I know that Usopp is the Sniper of the Straw Hats. I love the character of Usopp too much to ever take that away from him. But what's notable about Usopp is that he never uses a gun. I think that the fighting style I have planned for Sabo and his rifle will set him apart from Usopp enough to give him his own unique flavor.

That's all for now

Silver signing off


	2. Alvida

_**BROTHER ON BOARD**_

LittlemissTraffy - Thanks for being my first review. I'm glad I was able to make you laugh from the short prologue. One of the things that I like best about One Piece is the humor. The Straw Hats are all so wacky that it makes them unforgettable. In this chapter I introduced a new quirk for Sabo that I hope makes him fit in better with our odd ball crew of pirates.

Black Night Wolf - Thanks. Hope I updated quick enough for you.

Son of Whitebeard - I can't take much credit for the child-like Sabo. But hopefully you'll enjoy my adult Straw Hat version of him.

Night-Of-Mares - I intend to rock the boat with this story so I've got some big changes planned for most of the story arcs in the East Blue Saga.

dhampire712 - Between him and Luffy, Sabo is certainly the more reasonable one. But Sabo will make it clear that Luffy's the Captain while he's just the Quartermaster. Sabo's dream of taking down the Celestial Dragons is going to be difficult to achieve. The World Nobles aren't exactly easy targets and even if he does succeed in taking one down, can you imagine the consequences he'd face?

* * *

 **Alvida –**

A cruise ship sailed casually passed a whirlpool in the East Blue.

The ship was large enough that a small whirlpool wouldn't cause a problem for it so they didn't pay it much mind. Two sailors were out on the deck while another was up above them in the crow's nest keeping watch. The East Blue was considered the most peaceful of the world's oceans but this was the Great Pirate Era so a luxurious vessel like this one that was filled with rich passengers could never be too careful.

" **AHOY THERE!"**

The sailors on the deck of the cruise ship blinked in surprise when they looked down and saw a strange blond-haired young man in a top hat and a long blue coat riding towards them.

Sabo's appearance wasn't strange. It was his 'vessel' that caught the sailors off guard. He was sitting perfectly straight on a barrel and was using a lone paddle to navigate it.

"Hey you, what're you doing riding that barrel?" a sailor called out.

"I was riding a boat with my brother and my girlfriend when we got sucked into a whirlpool," Sabo explained. "Neither of them get along with water so I volunteered to get us to safety. I don't suppose you'd be willing to help a guy out, would ya?"

"Your boat was sucked into that whirlpool?" the other sailor questioned.

"Yup," Sabo confirmed. "The whole thing was destroyed. This barrel and this paddle were all we could salvage before we went under along with the rest of it."

"Here, grab this!" the first sailor said as he threw a rope off the side of the ship. The rope went wide but Sabo still managed to lean to the side and catch it.

"Thanks guys," Sabo said once the sailors had pulled him and the barrel onto the cruise ship. "You're real lifesavers."

The two sailors and the lookout peered down over Sabo's shoulder as he pried the barrel open and pulled out a rifle. They blinked in surprise when they saw only a sleeping young man with a straw hat left inside it.

"I thought you said you had a girl in there?" one of the sailors asked.

"Right," Sabo replied as he stood his rifle up next to him. "This is my girlfriend Bonnie Anne." Sabo turned and addressed his rifle. "Bonnie, these nice guys pulled us out of the water."

All three of the sailors blinked in surprise.

"Uh… that's a rifle…" the lookout felt obligated to point out.

"She's not _just_ a rifle!" Sabo insisted. "She's an Advanced Wheel-Lock Rifle customized with an added scope and revolving action."

"But… but… a gun can't be your girlfriend!" a sailor insisted.

"Sure she can," Sabo said, "What else would you call a beautiful lady that has your back in any situation, stands by you through anything and is dedicated to helping you achieve your dream?"

Once again, all three of the sailors blinked in surprise.

"Anyway, thanks for helping us out," Sabo continued. "I'll let you get back to work. Hopefully your Captain will agree to loan me one of your lifeboats so I can get outta your hair."

With that, Sabo resealed the barrel with his sleeping brother inside then gave it a kick and sent it rolling into the ship ahead of him.

But once Sabo disappeared, the lookout looked up and his eyes widened in abject horror.

A pink ship with a swan figurehead was coming in fast behind them. While the very feminine ship itself wasn't so threatening what _was_ threatening was the black flag that the ship was flying. It had a skull in profile view with a heart on it. That meant one thing, PIRATES!

The sailors had been so distracted with Sabo's nonsense about his rifle/girlfriend that they hadn't noticed the pink pirate ship approaching until it was too late. Now it was nearly on top of them.

"SHIP OFF THE STARBOARD STERN!" the lookout screamed. "THERE'S A PIRATE FLAG ON ITS MAST! ENEMY RAID! ENEMY RAID!"

The sailors scrambled to take action but they were already in range of the pirate ship's cannons.

 **KA-BOOOM-BOOOM-BOOOOM!**

Cannonballs impacted with the water and exploded which made the cruise ship start rocking.

* * *

"Whoa!" Sabo yelped and stumbled as the ship lurched. Luffy's barrel rolled off down the hall. "Oh crap! Luffy! Get back here!" Sabo chased after the runaway barrel.

* * *

"CAPTAIN! PIRATES!" the two sailors shouted as the burst into the dining hall.

The cruise ship passengers screamed and started to run around the large room in a panic.

"EVERYONE STAY CALM!" the Captain shouted. "STAY CALM!"

The passengers ignored him and continued to panic and ran frantically for the exit.

All the rich passengers of the on the cruise ship were terrified of being robbed by pirates and were now beyond reason and rational thought.

The lone passenger that wasn't panicking was an orange haired girl in a fancy dress. She was pressed against the wall as she watched everyone around her freak out and panic. A small grin formed on her face which showed that this was the moment she had been waiting for.

* * *

"FIRE!" Pirate Captain 'Iron Mace' Alvida ordered as her pirate ship continued to blast. the cruise ship with cannonballs as they closed in on it.

Well, all but one of them anyway.

A timid boy with pale lavender hair and glasses stood by the railing of Alvida's pirate ship and looked like he wanted to be anywhere else in the world at this moment.

"COBY!" Alvida called out.

"Uh… yes ma'am?"

"Who's the most beautiful in all the seas?" Alvida asked.

"That-that'd be you… L-Lady Alvida!" Coby stammered.

Alvida smirked and let out a deep laugh. She wore fancy clothes, had dark raven hair but Pirate Captain that made her crew call her 'the most beautiful in all the seas' was fat to the point of being obese and had a gruff, ugly personality that matched her appearance.

Coby stared at Alvida in terror. She was an infamous pirate with a bounty of five million berries. He didn't dare disagree with her. Especially when she was wielding her namesake, a massive spiked iron mace.

Alvida's pirate ship continued its assault on the cruise ship until it pulled up alongside it. The cruise ship was big and luxurious. It was nearly three times the size of Alvida's pink pirate ship but it had no weapons and was manned by a crew of simple sailors. Alvida's men were all hardened pirates.

"GO MEN!" Alvida ordered. "Make them fear the name 'Iron Mace' Alvida! The Pirate Queen!"

Alvida's crew howled as they threw hooks over the railing of the cruise ship and quickly rushed on board. The pirates that were all armed with swords and guns ran rampant across the pirate ship and added reason to the rich passengers' earlier fear.

Alvida turned and saw that one of her crew hadn't left yet. "Coby! What are you doing?"

"I… I'm not good at this sort of thing…" the timid boy confessed as he clung to a rope like it was a lifeline.

"ARE YOU BACKTALKING ME?" Alvida snarled as she stormed over to the terrified boy.

"Please! Anything but the iron mace!" Coby whimpered.

"THEN GET YOUR ASS IN GEAR!" Alvida yelled. She gave Coby a hard kick to the rear and sent him flying over the railing and onto the cruise ship.

Coby went face-first into a wall and dropped to the deck. He was scared to the point of tears but he didn't have any time to recover.

"RAAAH!" Coby turned at the sound of a loud roar in time to see Alvida leap across to the cruise ship with her iron mace hoisted up over her head.

Coby's eyes widened in terror and he quickly ducked down and covered his head.

 **KRASH!**

Alvida and her iron mace smashed straight through the wall that Coby was pressed up against.

"Go make yourself useful!" Alvida barked as she pulled herself out of the hole she'd make.

"Y-yes Lady Alvida!" Coby replied as he ran off to obey.

* * *

"Dang it, Luffy!" Sabo complained once Luffy's barrel finally stopped, "How is it that even fast asleep and unable to see where you're going… you still end up where they keep all the food?"

Somehow Luffy's barrel had rolled all the way down to the cruise ship's pantry.

"I guess you'll be safe here…" Sabo reasoned as he stared around the food-filled pantry and took an apple from a nearby barrel. "I'm gonna take Bonnie and go see what all the trouble is about."

Sabo slung his rifle across his shoulders and left Luffy sound asleep in the pantry.

* * *

Alvida's crew had managed to gather all the rich passengers and sailors in the large dining hall. There were well over a dozen pirates and they were all armed with sharp swords. No one gave any thought to fighting back.

"We won't take your lives," one of the pirates addressed the passengers, "But we _will_ take your valuables."

Alvida walked in and made a terrifying sight as she towered over her pirate crew, "Anyone who tries to fight back will end up at the bottom of the ocean!"

The orange haired girl hid around a corner just outside the dining hall and smirked. If the pirates were all in here harassing the passengers, that meant their ship was unguarded.

The girl pulled off her dress to reveal a snug blue top, black tights and a black bandana. It was time to get to work. She quickly ran off and didn't hear anything else.

"Alright men!" Alvida called out, "This room's secured. Go make sure there are no stragglers! We're taking _everything_ of value from this ship! Don't you dare miss anything!"

"YES ALVIDA!" the pirates chorused and a batched of them ran out the door.

 **KER-CHOW!**

A rifle went off and Alvida's crew came flying back into the dining hall and crashed to the floor.

Alvida surveyed her fallen crew then glared at the door, "MEN, I DEMAND THAT YOU FIND WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS AND SHOW THEM THE MEANING OF PAIN!"

"YES LADY ALVIDA!" Alvida remaining henchmen chorused as they charged at the door.

" **SCATTER BLAST!"**

 **KER-CHOW!**

The second wave of pirates met the same amount of success as the first and came flying back into the dining hall and crashed down to the floor unconscious.

Alvida now stood alone in the room filled with shocked passengers and sailors.

"WHO DARES CHALLENGE THE FUTURE PIRATE QUEEN 'IRON MACE' ALVIDA?"

Sabo casually walked into the dining room with his smoking rifle over his shoulder and eyed the fat female pirate.

"Did you just call yourself a Queen?" he asked. "I'm always up for taking uppity Royals down a couple pegs. That makes this easier on me."

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?" Alvida roared.

"My name's Sabo, I'm the Quartermaster of the Straw Hat Pirates."

"Never heard of you," Alvida scoffed.

"Of course you haven't," Sabo said. "We just set sail this morning. Our ship got wrecked in a whirlpool and some of the sailors on this ship were nice enough to pull us on board. For that reason, I'm going to have to ask you to leave this ship alone. It's under my protection."

"Do you even know who you're messing with!?" Alvida asked angrily. "MEN! Who is the fairest and most beautiful in all the seas?"

"You are… Lady Alvida!" Alvida's wounded crew groaned from the ground.

Sabo blinked. "Do you really force your men to call yourself the most beautiful in all the seas?"

"ARE YOU SAYING I'M NOT?" Alvida demanded.

"Look lady, even if I wasn't in a very happy committed relationship with my rifle, I _still_ wouldn't consider you the most beautiful in all the seas."

"THAT'S IT!" Alvida roared. "YOU'RE DEAD!"

Alvida hefted her huge iron mace over her head and brought it down.

 **KRASH!**

The dust cleared and revealed Alvida's iron mace embedded in the floor… and Sabo casually standing on top of it. Alvida stared at Sabo in sheer wide-eyed shock.

"Missed," Sabo stated.

"WHY YOU!" Alvida snarled as she struggled to pull her mace free from the floor.

Sabo wound up then swung his rifle into Alvida's face with all his strength like a baseball bat. "KNOCK BACK!"

 **WHAAAM!**

Alvida was forcibly separated from her mace as she went flying backwards and smashed through the far wall of the dining hall then kept going and flew off the side of the cruise ship before she eventually plummeted down into the water.

 **SPLASH!**

"AND SHE'S OUTTA HERE!" Sabo cheered. "Mwa, love ya Bonnie!" He planted a quick kiss on the barrel of his rifle then jumped off of Alvida's abandoned mace. He swept his top hat off his head and took a bow before the shocked cruise ship passengers.

" **HEY SABO! WHO WAS THAT FAT GUY?"**

Sabo turned to see Luffy standing at the entrance of the dining hall with Coby next to him.

Coby stared at Sabo in wide-eyed awe. "You… you beat Alvida!"

"Hey Luffy, glad to see you finally woke up," Sabo said. "Who's the kid?'

"Yeah, that was a great nap," Luffy replied. "This guy's Coby. He wants to be a Marine."

Sabo scratched his head. "And you, a pirate, decided to make friends with him?"

"Aw, don't worry about it!" Luffy reassured him. "He's not a marine _yet_."

"You saved us!" the Captain of the cruise ship called out. "You managed to beat those pirates! My crew and my passengers are all in your debt."

"Yeah, yeah, and now the rich passengers get to keep all their money," Sabo waved off the Captain's praise. "Those pirate look easy enough to apprehend now so I don't think they'll bother you anymore without their Captain. Look, the only reason we're on your ship is because ours got wrecked in a whirlpool and some of your sailors pulled us aboard. If you can just give us one of your lifeboats and don't tell the Marines that we were here, we'll call it even."

"I… right… of course!" the Captain agreed. "Take any boat you want."

* * *

More cannonballs impacted with the water and rocked the cruise ship. But this time it wasn't from pirates. Three ships with blue seagulls emblazoned on their sails were approaching.

The Marines had arrived.

"Hey look, Coby!" Luffy said as he, Sabo and Coby ran along the top deck of the cruise ship. "It's the Marines! You should go see if they'll let you join!"

"Are you crazy!?" Coby exclaimed. "I haven't mentally prepared myself yet! They're more likely to capture me than let me join!"

Sabo stopped in front of a boat. But it wasn't a mere lifeboat. This boat was actually a small skiff with an actual sail and an anchor.

"Hmm… this isn't quite a lifeboat," Sabo noted.

"Who cares!?" Luffy replied. "He said we could take any boat we wanted!"

Sabo shrugged, "Fair enough."

 **SPLASH!**

A couple minutes later, Luffy, Sabo and Coby splashed down into the water in between Alvida's pirate ship and the cruise ship in their newly acquired skiff.

Luffy and Sabo glanced to the side and spotted the orange haired girl from the dining hall. She had just finished securing the large sack of treasure that she stole from Alvida's ship onto her own boat.

Sabo tipped his top hat to the girl then he and Luffy grabbed the oars that were in their boat and started to paddle like crazy.

The tiny boat went off like a shot and sped off across the water leaving behind the cruise ship, the pirate ship and most importantly the Marine Battleships.

* * *

"Looks like we managed to get away," Sabo noted a little later. He'd dropped the sail and now they were sailing across clear, empty waters.

"Whew! That was fun!" Luffy remarked.

"Um… Luffy?" Coby spoke up, "If you're after the One Piece… that means you're heading for the Grand Line. That place is called the Pirate Graveyard."

"Yeah, that's why I need a strong crew," Luffy said. "You said something about a Pirate Hunter guy… what's he like?"

Sabo looked up from the map that he'd pulled out from his coat, "Are you seriously considering asking a Pirate _Hunter_ to join your pirate crew?"

"If he's a good person, why not!" Luffy replied.

"I heard he's being held in a nearby Marine Base," Coby admitted.

"Never mind!" Luffy decided. "If he was caught that means he's a weakling."

"No way!" Coby yelped, "I've heard that he's as terrifying as a demon! You can't ask him to join your crew!"

"He might be a good guy," Luffy said.

"He's been caught because he's a bad guy!" Coby exclaimed. "No way! No way! No way! Impossible!"

 **BONK!**

"Why did you hit me?" Coby whined.

"Just because!" Luffy replied.

"Well… the nearest Marine Base is the 153rd Branch in Shells Town," Sabo announced. "It's actually not that far from here."

"ARE YOU CRAZY!?" Coby shouted. "You can't recruit the Pirate Hunter onto a pirate crew!"

"I already told him that, he decided it wasn't important," Sabo said, "Besides, Luffy's Captain. I'm Quartermaster so it's my job to make his crazy whims possible."

"RIGHT! LET'S GO SEE THAT PIRATE HUNTER!" Luffy cheered.

* * *

Some distance away, at the Shells Town Marine Base, a lone figure was tied to a wooden cross out in the holding yard. He defining accessories were a dark green bandana and a green sash.

'Pirate Hunter' Roronoa Zoro looked up and stared ahead of him. He had eyes like a demon and gave off an aura that just screamed danger.

Luffy and Sabo were heading right for him.

* * *

Yes, I skipped the scene where Luffy met Coby. That won't be the last time I skip something. This is a long series and I've got a lot of ground to cover. If I skip over something, that means it happens more-or-less the same as it does in canon.

Sabo's rifle/girlfriend is named after Bonnie Anne, my favorite companion from Pirate101. She's an anthropomorphic fox with a brogue that's a tribute to real life pirate Anne Bonny. For those of you that haven't played Pirate 101 before, you're depriving yourself but I posted some screenshots of Bonnie Anne the fox and Bonnie Anne the rifle on my Deviant Art account.

Silver signing off


	3. Zoro

_**BROTHER ON BOARD**_

FIRExNINJAxDROID - I'm gonna hold off on dealing with pairings until they reach the Grand Line. I want to establish Sabo's place on the crew and relationship with the others first.

Son of Whitebeard - You'll see her again eventually.

LittlemissTraffy - I had Sabo take the Alvida fight because other than establishing Luffy's rubber powers (which we all already know about) and creating Alvida's 'grudge' against him, it really served no big purpose on the grand scheme of things. Beating Alvida isn't even recognized as one of Luffy's big accomplishments in the East Blue so I figured I could pass that off to Sabo to I establish him. But yes, this does mean that Alvida will have her 'grudge' against Sabo instead of Luffy. That should make Loguetown interesting.

Sabo's rifle is based off of Bonnie Anne from the online game Pirate101. Bonnie Anne is based off of real life pirate Anne Bonny, she even has a backstory that ties in with Anny Bonny's real life associates Calico Jake (Calico Jack Rackham) and Ready Mary (Mary Reade). Oda, based Jewelry Bonney's name off of Anne Bonny like he does with a lot of his pirates. Meeting another Bonney should make things interesting for Sabo at Sabaody.

dhampire712 - I challenge you to name one Straw Hat that's perfectly sane. They're all nutcases. I think this makes Sabo fit in better.

Night-Of-Mares - That's what I was going for. Comically crazy. Yes, Alvida is going to crush on Sabo now instead of Luffy... or is it want to crush him? I think both work. Luffy has enough enemies that he can spare Alvida.

Mikila94 - He doesn't have a Devil Fruit Power... yet. Bonnie is going to be enough for Sabo (both in terms of fighting style and pairing) until he reaches the Grand Line. But then he's going to start going up against more powerful enemies that'll take more than a rifle to beat. It's still a while off and I haven't decided yet what power to give him. I'm trying to think of something creative instead of those overpowered logia fruits or mystical zoans that are so common in One Piece fanfics.

Also, I've gotta admit, I chuckled at the idea of some super-patient woman in a three-way relationship with Sabo and his rifle. But then I realized that there is a particularly patient One Piece lady that might be willing to do that. She doesn't come in to play until the Grand Line so that'll give me some time to see if I can create some chemistry between her and Sabo before I decide to go ahead and make it a pairing.

HatethePlayer-NevertheGame - Thanks. I love the little quirks that Oda gave all his One Piece characters. Those quirks are part of what makes them so memorable and unique. I'm glad you like the one that I gave Sabo. Keep Zoro's quirk in mind when you start reading this chapter. It should make it funnier.

Fairy of the Friz - Thanks. I think having Sabo as a Straw Hat should be an interesting take on his character. I've already thought up some of the fun relationships that he'll have with the other Straw Hats as the story progresses. It should be a lot of fun.

LuffyxRuby - Don't be worried about Sabo's mental health. He's just as sane as the other Straw Hats. Actually... maybe you should be...

* * *

 **Zoro-**

"Wow what great weather!" Luffy exclaimed as he sat on the front of their tiny skiff.

"If we keep going like this we'll see the marine base soon," Sabo said as he stared at his map.

"At least we're not going the wrong way anymore," Coby added.

"Gimmie a break! It's my first time off the island!" Sabo complained, "What do I look like a navigator?"

"Oooh! We should get one of those!" Luffy exclaimed. "And a musician!"

"The musician can wait," Sabo said, "But do you think that Zoro-guy knows how to navigate?"

"If he does, and he's a good person, we can make him our navigator!" Luffy decided.

Sabo's rifle suddenly slipped off of his shoulder and hit the deck.

 **KER-CHOW!**

The rifle went off and shot a bullet into Luffy's back.

 **WOING!**

The bullet bounced off Luffy and went flying back in the opposite direction.

"WAAAH!" Coby screamed as he and Sabo dove out of the way to avoid the bullet.

"Oops, forgot she was still loaded," Sabo said.

"YOU ALMOST KILLED ME!" Coby shouted.

Sabo ignored him and eyed his rifle as he picked her up off of the deck, "Hmm… I guess Bonnie thinks that making Zoro our navigator would be a bad idea."

"OF COURSE YOU CAN'T MAKE ZORO YOUR NAVIGATOR!" Coby shouted. "He's a notorious bounty hunter! He cuts through pirates like a blood thirty monster! People say he's a demon in human form!"

"Those don't sound like good reasons to me," Luffy replied, "But if Bonnie thinks it's a bad idea, then I guess we shouldn't make Zoro our navigator."

"Bonnie thinks?" Coby then looked over at Sabo's rifle.

Sabo nodded as he patted the barrel of his trusty rifle, "Bonnie usually keeps her opinions to herself so it's a good idea to listen to her when she decides to weigh in on something. Plus, I'd be a horrible boyfriend if I didn't listen to my girlfriend."

"Bonnie's usually right about these things anyway," Luffy added.

Coby stared at Sabo… then over at Luffy… then at Bonnie Anne the rifle… then back at Sabo…

"You're both taking advice… from a gun?" Coby questioned.

 **BONK!**

Sabo bopped Coby on the head with his rifle.

"Keep talking like that and you'll piss Bonnie off," Sabo warned him. "You barely managed to dodge last time. If she goes off again, I doubt you'll be able to dodge the bullet."

"Of course I barely managed to dodge!" Coby exclaimed, "The bullet bounced off of…" Coby trailed off as his eyes widened in surprise. "Luffy… DID THAT BULLET JUST BOUNCE OFF OF YOU?"

"Oh yeah, I forgot to mention it," Luffy realized. "I ate a Devil Fruit when I was a kid and now I'm a Rubber Man."

"A DEVIL FRUIT!?"

* * *

"We made it!" Luffy cheered as he stepped off of their skiff onto the shore of Shells Town, "The Marine Base-town!"

"Shells Town," Sabo informed him as he stepped off the boat and stood next to Luffy. The two brothers stared at the huge marine base that was on the far end of the town and towered over everything. "That's the marine base for the 153rd Branch."

"You two are crazy if you think he's going to join your crew!" Coby insisted.

"Well, I still haven't decided if I want him to join yet," Luffy said, "We need to see if he's a good person first."

"I wonder if this is even the place where they're keeping Roronoa Zoro?" Sabo asked.

"WAAAAH!" The people around them screamed and backed away.

"It looks like the name 'Zoro' is taboo here," Coby noted as he peered between the two taller brothers at the cowering crowd.

"Well let's check out the base anyway," Luffy decided. "You still want to be a marine, right?"

"Yes… but… I don't think I'm mentally prepared yet," Coby said, "I've heard that a man named Captain Morgan and…"

"WAAAHHH!" Once again the people screamed and backed away.

"Shishishishi!" Luffy laughed. "That's funny! Captain Morgan!"

"WAAAAHHH!"

Sabo smirked, "Roronoa Zoro!"

"WAAAAAHHH!"

"Captain Morgan!" Luffy called out again.

"WAAAAAAHHHH!"

"Roronoa Zolo…"

"WWWAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" One overly excited man screamed out.

"Gotcha!" Sabo taunted. "You lose, thanks for playing."

Needless to say, the people gave Luffy and Sabo a wide berth as they made their way through town to the marine base.

"Shishishishishi!" Luffy laughed, "What a funny town!"

"But don't you guys think that's weird?" Coby asked as he trailed after them. "I can understand them being scared of Zoro… but why are they afraid of a Marine Captain's name? I'm starting to feel uneasy about this…"

"Too late! We're here!" Sabo announced. The three of them stood before a huge metal gate with a blue seagull carved into it.

"Alright! This is the place!" Luffy cheered.

"I'm finally here!" Coby wiped his eyes as he started to cry. "I know that we've only known each other for a short time but…" Coby trailed off when he realized that neither of his companions were standing with him.

"You see Zoro?" Luffy asked as he and Sabo finished climbing the twelve foot wall around the base and peered over it.

"GAAH!" Coby shrieked. "What are you doing!?"

"I think I see someone over there," Sabo pointed out as he squinted across the yard.

Just like that, he and Luffy jumped down and ran onward. Coby chased after them.

"YOU TWO CAN'T SERIOUSLY BE PLANNING BREAKING TO A MARINE BASE! YOU'RE PIRATES! YOU CAN'T DO THIS!"

"Not if you keep shouting!" Sabo looked back and scolded him, "Keep that up and the whole base will know we're here."

"Ooh, there he is!" Luffy called out from atop the wall around the corner.

Sabo and Coby ran to catch and quickly climbed the wall alongside Luffy.

Coby's eyes went wide at the sight of a lone figure tied to a cross in the middle of a yard.

"A black bandana and a green sash… that's him! That's Roronoa Zoro!"

"It'll be really easy to get him outta there," Luffy said, "All we've gotta do is untie the ropes."

"YOU CAN'T UNTIE HIM!" Coby yelled. "HE'LL KILL YOU!"

"He won't kill me," Luffy assured him. "I'm strong."

"And me and Bonnie'll gun him down before he gets close," Sabo added.

" **Hey you guys…"** came a deep voice from the holding yard. **"You're an eyesore. Get lost."**

"WAAAAAHHH!" Coby screamed and fell off the wall at the sound of Zoro's voice.

"Well, at least we know he's still alive," Sabo noted.

 **Tonk!**

A ladder was propped up against the wall next to Luffy and Sabo and a little girl climbed up it. "Shhhhh!" the girl hissed as Luffy and Sabo before she dropped a rope and climbed down into the holding yard.

"LUFFY! SABO! STOP HER!" Coby shouted. "He'll kill her!"

"How? He's tied up," Sabo pointed out.

The little girl ran over to Zoro and smiled up at him.

"What do you want?" Zoro growled.

"You must be hungry," Rika said to Zoro. "I made you some rice balls."

"You wanna get killed, kid?" Zoro asked, "Scram."

"But you haven't eaten anything this whole time," Rika insisted as she pulled a bundle out from her striped dress and unwrapped it to reveal two rice balls. "Here, it's my first time but I worked really hard to make them."

"I told you, I'm not hungry!" Zoro growled. "Now get outta here!"

"But…"

"I don't want 'em!" Zoro insisted. "Don't make me kick your ass!"

 **KLANK!**

The gate to the holding yard opened to reveal a skinny man with a funny blonde bowl cut in a fancy suit. He was flanked by an escort of two marines. He was known to the people of Shells Town as Helmeppo, Captain Morgan's son.

"Don't be a bully, Zoro!" Helmeppo scolded the prisoner. "You seem surprisingly well."

"Who's that weird guy?" Luffy wondered.

"Thank goodness," Coby sighed, "He must be with the Marines. Now that girl will be safe."

"You think so?" Sabo asked, "I know spoiled-brats-that-think-they're-entitled-to-everything when I see them. The girl's in more danger now than she ever was with Zoro."

Helmeppo eyed Rika and her rice balls, "Oh, how thoughtful of you to bring me a snack!"

"STOP!" Rika cried as Helmeppo helped himself to one of her rice balls.

"GAAAH! BLAAHH!" Helmeppo screamed and spat out the rice in his mouth. "TOO SWEET! Those are full of sugar! You're supposed to use salt for rice balls!"

"But I like sweet things…" Rika said, "I thought they'd be better if they tasted sweet…"

 **WHAP!**

Helmeppo smacked the remaining rice ball out of Rika's hand then stomped it into the ground while Rika cried at seeing her hard work ruined.

"How horrible!" Coby gasped in shock.

"Called it," Sabo stated, "Spoiled brats like him make me sick."

"But… I worked so hard to make those…" Rika sobbed.

Helmeppo pulled a slip of paper out from his coat, "Didn't you read the sign? It says 'Those who help criminals will be executed.' And it's signed by my father Marine Captain Morgan. You know how scary my father can be, right?"

"Father?" Luffy repeated.

"He's Captain Morgan's son?" Coby questioned.

"That's it," Sabo growled as he pulled Bonnie Anne out from behind his back and loaded a round into her. "That spoiled snot isn't even a marine. I'll do the world a favor and get rid of him."

"Hey you, throw that girl out!" Helmeppo ordered one of his marine escorts. The marine attempted to protest but Helmeppo cut him off, "Do you want me to tell my father that you refused to follow an order? I said throw her out!"

"Right… yes sir," the marine agreed. He bent down and picked up Rika, "I'm sorry. Try curling yourself into a ball." The marine turned and threw Rika clear over the wall and out of the yard.

"OH HELL!" Sabo snapped as he tucked his rifle under his arm and lunged back off the wall in time to catch Rika in midair.

"Oh! Thanks!" Rika said as Sabo set her down on the ground.

"Is she okay?" Coby asked with concern. "I can't believe how horrible that guy is!"

Luffy remained hanging from the wall with his eyes locked on Zoro and Helmeppo.

"Damn you," Zoro growled.

"Heeheehee!" Helmeppo laughed. "You sure are stubborn about staying alive."

"Yeah, I _will_ live the full month," Zoro insisted. "Only ten days left."

"Heehee! Sure, assuming you live that long," Helmeppo sneered and he and his escort left.

The holding yard was empty for a couple of seconds then suddenly Luffy was in front of Zoro.

"So I hear you're a bad guy," Luffy said.

"You're still here?" Zoro questioned.

"You're stuck out here for all the world to see," Luffy noted, "Are you really strong at all?"

"Mind your own business!" Zoro barked.

"If it were me, I'd probably starve to death in ten days," Luffy admitted.

"I've got more spirit than you," Zoro said. "I _will_ live through this. I swear it!"

"What a strange person," Luffy remarked as he turned to leave.

"Wait!" Zoro called after him. "Could you pick that up for me?"

"You're gonna eat this?" Luffy asked as he knelt down next to the squished rice ball. "It's mostly a mud ball now."

"Just shut up and give it here!" Zoro growled, "And don't miss a single grain!"

Luffy reluctantly scraped the remains of the rice ball off the ground and poured the mixture of rice and dirt into Zoro's mouth. The bound pirate hunter gagged and coughed as he attempted to eat the sorry excuse for food.

"Told you so," Luffy pointed out.

"Tell her… it was good," Zoro requested, "And thanks for the food."

Luffy smiled and left the holding yard.

"How'd it go?" Sabo asked.

"He's a weird person," Luffy said, "I still haven't decided if I want him to join the crew yet."

Luffy spotted Rika next to Sabo.

"Oh, you," Luffy said as he pointed down at the little girl, "Zoro said he liked your rice ball and thanks for the food."

Rika's face lit up. "Really? He liked it?"

"Yup, he ate every last bite," Luffy told her.

"I'm so happy!" Rika gushed.

"I've gotta make sure the kid gets home safely," Sabo said as he motioned to Rika, "So let's head back into town." Luffy nodded and he, Sabo, Coby and Rika left the marine base.

Coby was the first to speak up, "Is Zoro really as evil as the rumors say?"

"No!" Rika exclaimed then pouted. "After all… he let himself get crucified in our place…"

"Huh, what do you mean?" Luffy asked.

"It's all Helmeppo's fault," Rika explained. She went on to tell them how she had nearly been mauled by Helmeppo's pet wolf but Zoro had saved her. Helmeppo attempted to attack Zoro but Zoro easily beat him. Helmeppo attempted to recover from humiliating defeat by threatening to have his dad Marine Captain Morgan execute Rika and her mother. But he offered Zoro a deal. He'd spare Rika and her mother's lives if Zoro agreed to serve a month's sentence in their place. If he survived for the entire month then he'd let Zoro live too. Zoro accepted and after three long weeks of no food and Helmeppo's abuse he was now ten days away from finishing his sentence.

"Helmeppo punches and kicks him while he's all tied up!" Rika continued as she started crying, "And I… I don't know how to help him…"

 **KRESH!**

"MOMMY!" Rika yelped at the sound of loud crash. The girl led the way to a small tavern that was the source of the commotion.

"I'm hungry!" Helmeppo announced as he sat in the middle of the room with is feet on the table. His escort of two marines stood silently behind him. "Let us all eat for free! And hey, bring me some booze! Quit dawdling! Hurry up!"

Luffy, Sabo and Coby stood in the open doorway of the restaurant and surveyed the terrified crowd that looked on silently as Rika's mother Ririka brought Helmeppo booze and food.

Sabo spotted a familiar girl with orange hair. "Hey Luffy, isn't that…" But he trailed off when he realized that his brother had wandered further into the tavern.

"I've been bored lately," Helmeppo bragged to the whole tavern, "So I've decided to execute Zoro tomorrow. Look forward to it! Heeheeheee!"

"That's it, I'm gonna shoot him," Sabo decided as he raised his rifle.

"You can't!" Coby exclaimed. "He's the Marine Captain's son!"

 **POW!**

Luffy beat Sabo to it and rushed into the room and slugged the spoiled blonde brat in the face. Helmeppo went flying across the tavern and slammed into a wall.

"Wh-what're you doing?" Helmeppo stammered as he held his nose.

"Luffy! Please stop!" Coby shouted as he rushed into the tavern and attempted to restrain Luffy.

"This guy's scum," Luffy growled as he glared at Helmeppo.

"You hit me!" Helmeppo whined as his escort rushed over to him, "I'm Marine Captain Morgan's son, you know!"

"So what!?" Luffy spat.

"I'LL TELL MY FATHER AND HE'LL EXECUTE YOU!" Helmeppo shrieked.

"Why don't you be a man and fight me yourself!?" Luffy challenged him.

"Luffy, calm down!" Coby pleaded, "Are you trying to get on the Marines' bad side?"

Luffy looked back at his brother, "Sabo, I've decided! I'm gonna have Zoro join our crew!"

"Can we take down these jerk marines along the way?" Sabo requested.

"We'll take down that whole base if they get in our way!" Luffy replied.

Sabo grinned and swung his rifle up onto his shoulder, "Now you're talking."

* * *

"I… am… great!" Marine Captain Morgan said back the marine base as he in the fancy chair behind his expensive desk, smoked a quality cigar and looked out at the town that his base loomed over.

"Yes, that's exactly right, Marine Captain Morgan, sir," a marine said with a salute.

"But the town's tribute to me has been lacking recently," Captain Morgan noted.

"Uh, well… the citizens' wallets to have their limits," the marine pointed out.

"The issue is the level of respect for me," Captain Morgan stated. "Wouldn't you agree?"

 **WHAM!**

The door to the office slammed open and Helmeppo ran in.

"FATHER!" Helmeppo shouted, "THERE'S SOMEONE I WANT YOU TO KILL!"

Morgan's eyes narrowed as he glared back over his shoulder at his son.

* * *

" _You're still as weak as ever, Zoro…"_

"I promised her…" Zoro mumbled to himself. "I can't afford to die in a place like this."

" **YO!"**

Zoro looked up and spotted Luffy and Sabo standing in front of him.

"You again," Zoro said, "What do you want?"

"If I untie you," Luffy said, "You'll join my crew."

"Say what?" Zoro asked.

"I'm looking for people to join my pirate crew," Luffy explained. "This is my brother Sabo… he's first mate."

"Quartermaster," Sabo corrected.

"Whatever," Luffy waved him off. "You seem like a good person so I'm gonna let you join."

"Well forget it," Zoro replied, "I'm not gonna stoop to a criminal's level. Screw that."

"What's wrong with being a pirate?" Luffy asked.

"Pirates are despicable," Zoro said, "As if I'd wanna be one."

"Oh, come on," Luffy prodded him. "You're already known as an evil bounty hunter."

"People can say whatever they want," Zoro said, "But I've never done anything that I regret. I _will_ live through this and accomplish what _I_ want."

"Oh yeah?" Luffy questioned, "Well, I've already decided that you're gonna join me."

"Quit deciding by yourself!" Zoro snapped.

Luffy turned to his brother, "Sabo, time to negoat… kneego… talk him into it!"

"Of course Captain," Sabo agreed.

"Don't waste your breath," Zoro warned him. "I'm not interested."

"I figured as much," Sabo said, "I'll admit that we're just starting out but we're not looking to form just any pirate crew. We're gonna shake the world so this has to be _the best_ pirate crew. We heard about your reputation as a famous bounty hunter and came to see you in person. But if you got duped into this month long test of your manhood by that spoiled daddy's-boy, you can't be that strong."

"I don't have anything to prove to you," Zoro replied. "But as far as being the best goes… then that's me. I'm gonna become the World's Greatest Swordsman."

"Oooh, that's sounds perfect," Luffy said.

"I've never been too fond of swords," Sabo admitted. "I get faster results outta Bonnie, here. On a completely unrelated note, how're you at navigating?"

"What's there to know?" Zoro asked. "I find out what direction my target is going in and I follow him. After I catch him I follow the next one. I don't need to know more than that."

Sabo lifted Bonnie Anne off of his shoulder and smiled fondly at the rifle, "Right as usual. He'd be a horrible navigator."

"Do you actually take advice from a gun?" Zoro asked.

"This _gun_ is my girlfriend," Sabo said, "And she's usually right."

"…" Zoro stared silently at Sabo and his rifle then turned back to Luffy, "Is he seriously supposed to be the rational one? At this point I'd rather negotiate with you."

"Does that mean you changed you mind?" Luffy asked.

"NO!" Zoro yelled. "Get outta here and take the gun nut with you! I won't become a pirate!"

"Gun nut?" Sabo repeated. "That's rich coming from a _swordsman_."

"Oh, I've got it!" Luffy announced, "You use a sword, right?"

"If I wasn't tied up here, I'd show you!" Zoro growled. "But that stupid son took my stuff."

"Then I'll go get it back for you," Luffy decided, "If I get your sword, then you'll join my crew."

"Now you're both getting on my nerves!" Zoro snapped.

Luffy laughed and ran off.

"Is he really planning on busting into the base by himself?" Zoro wondered.

"Of course," Sabo said. "But he's not by himself. Bonnie and I have his back. Speaking of which…" Sabo turned and called after his brother, "Luffy! That's the wrong way!"

Luffy spun around and startled Zoro when he stretched his rubber arms passed them.

"GUM GUM ROCKET!"

 **WOING!**

Luffy went flying passed towards the marine base.

"You should know," Sabo said, "the reason we're here is because we heard the bratty son bragging to everyone in town about how he was going to execute you tomorrow."

"What?" Zoro growled. "That wasn't the deal. I've still got ten days left."

"Do you honestly expect a spoiled little weasel like him to live up to his word? You made the mistake of getting into a battle of honor against someone who doesn't have any. Luffy came here to get you to join the crew. _I'm_ here to take down these jerk marines. Because if there's one thing I can't stand in this world its arrogant assholes who put everyone around them down because they think they're better than everyone else. You don't have to join us. Luffy's gonna free you anyway. He said he'd do something and he's going to do it. Unlike these marines, we've got some honor… but they still call _us_ the criminals."

Sabo turned and walked off after Luffy leaving Zoro staring after him in surprise.

"I'd have to be crazy to join those two lunatics," Zoro muttered to himself.

* * *

That's all for now.

Silver signing off


	4. Morgan

_**BROTHER ON BOARD**_

pipi96 - I'm glad you think Sabo's funny. Just my way of trying to recreate the amazing humor that comes from One Piece. And yes, Zoro's got his hands full dealing with Luffy and Sabo. Should be fun.

Fairy of the Friz - Thanks. I hope you'll like Sabo in this chapter too.

LittlemissTraffy - Yup, now they're going to be an insane trio and spread their insanity through the East Blue.

Mikila94 - I've always seen Devil Fruit as one of the most creative aspects in One Piece. I've seen plenty of super heroes with rubber powers but Luffy uses his in a completely unique way. It would be a shame to pass up on trying to do something fun like that with Sabo. I haven't fully decided on what power I want to give him yet since its still a long way off but I've got a couple of cool ideas. Also, it's not Robin. Honestly, I think she'd find Sabo and his relationship with Bonnie to be too immature.

Johnny Spectre - I'm planning on shaking things up. The end of this chapter is just a taste of how I plan to have Sabo mess with the canon storyline.

dhampire712 - Chopper's insanity is more subtle than some of the others. But it's still there. He'll do anything for approval. Look at how he reacts whenever he gets praised. It comes from being isolated and alone most of his early life. He latched on to Hiriluk because he was the first person to show him any kindness and was completely and utterly devoted to him. Even if Hiriluk was a horrible person, Chopper still would have stuck by him because he was his first friend. Now that devotion has passed on to Luffy and Chopper will do anything for him (unless he's too scared). Also, by reindeer standards, Chopper is completely insane. Everyone knows that the proper reindeer reaction to humans is to bolt and run for it. Reindeer that hang around humans end up getting shot or stuck pulling some fat guy's sleigh.

lostdog200 - Glad you like the story. I plan on having fun with this and shaking things up. So we'll see what happens.

Son of Whitebeard - And now you'll get to see Nami's.

* * *

 **Morgan-**

High above Shells Town on the roof of the marine base, Marine Captain Morgan had an entire squad of marines working on a special project. They were erecting a massive statue of him.

"Alright, stop there!" Captain Morgan ordered, "Pull it up in one shot."

"Father!" Helmeppo whined, "Why aren't you going to get revenge!? That guy hit me! Not even you've ever hit me in the face!"

"Do you know why I've never hit you before?" Captain Morgan asked.

"Eh? Because you think I'm…"

"Yes. Because you're…"

 **POW!**

Morgan slugged his son in the face sent him flying into a wall.

"…A STUPID SON WHO ISN'T EVEN WORTH HITTING!"

Captain Morgan towered over Helmeppo and at that moment you could tell that the father and son duo were nothing alike. Marine Captain 'Ax-Hand' Morgan was tall, tan and muscular with close cropped blond hair. His jaw was replaced with a menacing metal jaw with 'mowe' carved into it under a marine seagull. His namesake was a sharp black ax that was embedded in his arm in place of his right hand.

"Don't get the wrong idea!" Captain Morgan growled as he hooked the stick of his ax into Helmeppo's collar and hoisted his son into the air. "I let you use my authority in town but _I'm_ the one who is great. Me!" Morgan tossed his son away from him and turned around. "By the way, I heard that a rat snuck into the holding yard."

"Uh, if you mean that little pipsqueak," Helmeppo stammered, "I made sure she was dealt with!"

"You killed her, I hope?" Captain Morgan asked.

"No! I mean, she was just a little kid!" Helmeppo pointed out.

"You there!" Captain Morgan pointed to Lieutenant Junior Grade Rokkaku. His rank was marked with a green neck tie in place of the regular blue. "Go into town and exterminate her."

"You can't be serious!" Rokkaku said, "She's just a little girl! I can't in good conscience…"

"Anyone who disobeys my orders is a traitor," Captain Morgan stated, "Even little brats."

"I… I can't do it!" Rokkaku refused.

 **CHOP!**

Morgan raised his ax-hand over head and brought it down on Rokkaku.

"LIEUTENANT!" some marines cried out as he hit the ground.

"You… you didn't have to go that far!" Helmeppo gasped.

It was now official, as bad as Helmeppo was… his father Captain Morgan was way worse.

"It was with my own strength that I rose to the rank of Captain!" Captain Morgan said, "In this world, titles mean everything! That means that I, the Captain, highest ranking marine at this base, am the most superior person here! So everything I do I right! ISN'T THAT RIGHT?"

"Yes sir, you're absolutely correct!" the terrified squad of marines chorused and saluted.

"That kid's death can wait for now," Captain Morgan decided. He motioned to his giant statue. "Look, this statue is a symbol of my authority. It took many years to finally complete. Now stand it up! Display my greatness at the top of this base!"

The marines scrambled and went back to pulling up Captain Morgan's massive statue.

* * *

Luffy and Sabo had just arrived at the bottom of the base.

"That's weird," Luffy said, "There's no one here. We've gotta find that stupid son to get Zoro's sword back."

"I think I hear something up there," Sabo said as he tilted his head and looked upward.

"Huh?" Luffy grunted as he looked up along with Sabo.

* * *

 **TUNK!**

As the marines were pulling up Captain Morgan's statue, the statues left hand knocked against the rooftop entrance into the base.

"You there!" Captain Morgan growled at the terrified marine holding the far left rope. "You bumped it, didn't you?"

"I'm sorry!" the marine quickly apologized, "I was careless!"

"I told you to think of this statue as me!" Captain Morgan said, "The slightest scratch or speck of dirt is treachery against me!"

* * *

"Maybe we should split up?" Sabo suggested.

"Right," Luffy agreed, "I'll check it out up there. You and Bonnie go inside and see if you can find anything."

"Aye sir," Sabo agreed as he grabbed the handle of the big green door and started to pull it open.

Luffy pull his arm back then shot his fist out and stretched his arm all the way up to the top of the marine base.

"GUM GUM ROCKET!" Luffy rocketed up into the air.

 **WOING!**

"NOW YOU'LL PAY!" Captain Morgan roared as he raised his ax-hand over the marine that had bumped his statue. But he was distracted when Luffy came flying up over the roof.

"I jumped too far!" Luffy yelped. He grabbed onto one of the ropes that was tied onto the statue to stop himself. But in doing so, he yanked the ropes out of the hands of the marines.

 **WHAM!**

The statue fell downward and hit the edge of the roof. The marine stared in horror as the top half of the statue broke off completely and plummeted.

"Oops… sorry!" Luffy apologized.

 **KROOOOM!**

The top half of the statue hit the ground at the bottom of the base and shattered into pieces.

"The heck was that?" Sabo yelped as he spun around and stared out the door. "A statue? Oh boy Luffy, what did you do this time?"

"SEIZE HIM!" Captain Morgan screamed. "I'M GONNA CHOP HIS HEAD OFF!"

"Yes sir, right away!" the marines chorused.

"Father that's him!" Helmeppo called out as he pointed at Luffy, "He's the guy who hit me!"

"Oh, it's you!" Luffy realized as he turned his attention to Helmeppo who screamed out in alarm. "I've been looking for you! Come with me. There's something I want you to give back!"

"WAAAAH!" Helmeppo screamed as Luffy tucked him under his arm and ran off into the base.

"AFTER HIM!" Captain Morgan roared, "DON'T LET HIM ESCAPE!"

"Captain!" a marine called out as he stared off the roof of the base, "There's someone in the holding yard!"

"What?" Morgan asked as he turned and looked off the edge of the roof to see Coby running across the yard over to Zoro.

"I'm surrounded… by traitors…" Captain Morgan growled.

* * *

But Luffy and Sabo weren't the only ones who had broken into the marine base.

In an empty hallway, the orange haired pirate thief known as Nami dropped down from a vent in the ceiling. She made her way down the hallway but quickly pulled back as a group of marines ran passed.

"AFTER HIM! AFTER HIM!" the marines shouted.

"Someone just _had to_ interrupt," Nami complained before she ran off in the other direction.

* * *

"Ah-ha, Captain Morgan's office," Sabo announced before he kicked open the door.

"What're you doing in here?" a pair of marines guarding the room demanded.

"I came to warn you!" Sabo quickly called out, "Pirates have broken into the base! They wrecked the statue and the Captain's pissed! One of them's going after his son!"

"What? Pirates?" the marines gasped. "So that's what all the commotion is about!"

"You'd better go and help!" Sabo advised. "Or do you want to have to explain to the Captain why you were holed up in his office when a pirate broke his statue and kidnapped his son?"

"Right, thanks for the tip off," the marines said as they rushed out of the office passed Sabo.

Sabo hefted his rifle off of his shoulder as he found himself alone in Captain Morgan's office, "Well that was easy, wasn't it? If nothing else, Luffy makes for a great distraction. Now let's see what we can find…"

Sabo went around Captain Morgan's desk and took a seat in the Captain's fancy chair. He rested Bonnie Anne against the desk then started to rummage through it.

"Oh look Bonnie, its Captain Morgan's logbook…" Sabo said as he pulled out a small book and flipped it open. "Messy handwriting… guess that's what happens when you lose your right hand. Looks like Captain Morgan keeps track of his own finances. Hmm… monthly tributes? I'm starting to like these marines less and less…"

Just then, Nami came running into the office.

"Captain Morgan! Pirates have broken into the base and are causing a commotion!" The girl trailed off when she saw Sabo sitting behind the desk. "Wait… you're not him."

"You again," Sabo noted, "I already cleared the room."

"I… you're that top hat guy from town," Nami realized as she recognized Sabo from their earlier encounters, "And the cruise ship… what're you doing here?"

"My name's Sabo," Sabo said, "I saved that cruise ship from those pirates and now I'm here to save this town from these marines."

"Save the town?" the thief repeated. "You can't fight the Marines. They'll call you a criminal."

"These marines are the criminals," Sabo said. He held up Captain Morgan logbook, "According to this, Captain Morgan makes everyone in town pay him a monthly tribute. It usually ends up totaling over five million berries. Most of that money went to paying for a giant statue. So that's a hundred million berries wasted."

"Monthly tribute? A hundred million berries?" Nami repeated. Those terms rang a bell with her.

"The worst part is, he hasn't even done anything to earn that money," Sabo said as he scanned the logbook. "This is a peaceful town. There've been no pirate attacks, no bandits, no trouble. The only thing that Captain Morgan did is capture some pirate called Kuro three years ago."

"Sounds almost as bad as a pirate," the thief replied.

"I can't stand people that abuse positions of authority that they didn't even earn," Sabo said. "Be they a pirate captain, a marine officer, a noble or a King, if they're in a position of authority they should use it to help people not lord themselves over everyone. My Captain and I are here to free Roronoa Zoro and take down these corrupt marines. With this book as proof, I can make sure Captain Morgan loses everything and is court martialed."

"Right… I'm just here for a map," Nami said.

"Feel free to search the Captain's desk," Sabo offered as he slipped Captain Morgan's logbook into his coat then picked up his rifle and came out from behind the desk. He stopped and eyed a picture of Captain Morgan that was on the wall. "Hold on…" Sabo went over to the picture and pulled it down to reveal a safe that was embedded in the wall behind it, "Figures he'd keep the safe behind the picture of himself. Now I've just gotta figure out the combination…"

"Hold on there, big guy," Nami said, "I think I can help you out there."

"You can crack this safe?" Sabo asked.

"I've got many talents," the thief replied with a wink as she approached Sabo.

 **Click!**

Nami stopped in her tracks when she felt the barrel of a rifle press into her stomach.

"I don't think my girlfriend appreciates that," Sabo said. "You'd better apologize."

"Girlfriend? Apologize?" the confused girl repeated. "ARE YOU NUTS? It's just a gun!"

"She not _just_ a gun," Sabo insisted as he tilted his rifle up and away from her, "She always has my back and is dedicated to helping me achieve my dream. I couldn't ask for a better partner."

"Look, do you want me to get that safe open or what?" Nami snapped.

"I thought you were here for a map," Sabo said.

"It's a special map," Nami replied. "Now get outta the way. I don't wanna risk upsetting your _girlfriend_ again."

Sabo stepped out of the way and Nami walked up to the safe and pressed her ear against it as she worked the knob. A moment later she pulled the door open. "Done. But it doesn't look like my map's in here…"

"There's another safe behind that barrel over there," Sabo pointed out.

Nami turned and rushed over to the indicated safe and pulled it open. She didn't even have to bother cracking it. "Here it is!" Nami pulled out a roll of paper. "My map…" She trailed off when she unrolled it and read it. "DAMN PIRATES!"

"What's the matter?" Sabo asked.

"Some pirate named Buggy the Clown already stole it," Nami said, "He left a note behind to brag about it. Guess I'm going after him now." Nami scowled then headed for the door.

"Wait, I never got your name!" Sabo called after her.

"That's because I didn't give it," Nami replied. "But I will give you a piece of advice. Quit it with the heroics. Your heart may be in the right place but if you keep picking fights with pirates and corrupt marines, one of these days you're gonna bite off more than you can chew and you're gonna wind up dead. Then you won't be able to help anyone."

Nami left and Sabo stared after her before he turned his attention to Bonnie.

"Seems weird that we keep running into her though," Sabo said. He went back to the opened safe and gathered up the bills and small sack of gold that was stored inside. "This isn't much… but I can still make sure it gets back to the people that need it…"

Sabo tucked the money into his coat then hoisted his rifle onto his shoulder. "Let's go see if Luffy managed to find Zoro's swords…"

* * *

Zoro, Coby, Captain Morgan and all the marines stared at Luffy in shock.

Coby had been caught trying to untie Zoro and the two of them had been the target of Captain Morgan and a firing squad of marines. Zoro closed his eyes. It was all over.

But then Luffy appeared out of nowhere and took all the bullets for Zoro and Coby. But that wasn't the shocking thing. Instead of killing him, the bullets bounced off Luffy and whizzed passed the marines.

 **WOING!**

"THAT WON'T WORK ON ME!" Luffy shouted. "I TOLD YA I WAS STRONG!"

"Who the hell are you?" Zoro gaped.

"I'm Monkey D. Luffy," Luffy finally introduced himself, "And I'm the man who's gonna be King of the Pirates!"

"What? King of the Pirates?" Zoro repeated. "Do you have any idea what that means?"

"King of the Pirates is King of the Pirates," Luffy said simply. "Are there any other meanings?"

"I was shocked too," Coby chimed in, "But Luffy is serious. That's how he is. He intends to become the King of the Pirates and obtain this world's ultimate treasure… the One Piece."

"Shishishishi!" Luffy laughed and held out the three swords he'd found in Helmeppo's room. "Here's your treasure! Which one is yours? I couldn't tell so I brought all three of 'em."

"All three are mine," Zoro answered, "I use Santoryu… Three-Sword-Style."

"You'll take 'em, right?" Luffy said as he once again offered the swords to the tied up swordsman. "If we fight together you'll be a government-defying villain. Would you prefer that or being killed by the Marines like this?"

Zoro smirked, "What are you, the devil's son? Fine…I guess this makes me crazy too but if the alternative means dying here… I'll be your pirate."

"YEAH!" Luffy cheered, "So you'll really join my crew? Alright! Woo-hoo! This is great!"

"Now untie these stupid ropes already!" Zoro scolded his new captain.

* * *

"Hmm… looks like Luffy's been through here…" Sabo realized as he stared at the opened door to Helmeppo's very feminine bedroom and the opened window on the far wall.

Sabo stepped over Helmeppo as he crossed the room and stared out the opened window at the holding yard. "Ah, there he is. Now how do I get back down there?"

Sabo turned and watched a barely conscious Helmeppo crawl out of his bedroom.

"Where does he think he's going?" Sabo wondered.

* * *

 **KLANG!**

Zoro had finally come untied and was using all three of his swords to hold back the swords of no less than ten marines.

"Roronoa Zoro!" Captain Morgan growled.

"Wow! That's cool!" Luffy exclaimed as he watched his super-strong new crewmate hold off ten marines by himself.

"Move and your dead," Zoro warned the marines.

"Too scary!" one of them whimpered.

"I'll be a pirate," Zoro resolved as he stared at Luffy, "I promised you that. I'm officially a criminal now that I've fought the Marines. But I'll tell you this right now, I'm only going to fulfill my ambition to be the World's Greatest Swordsman. If I wind up having to give that up, you'd better accept responsibility and apologize to me!"

"The World's Greatest Swordsman?" Luffy repeated with a wide smile, "That sounds great! The King of the Pirates would need no less than that on his crew!"

"You sure talk big," Zoro noted, "At this point, whether it's as a criminal or whatever else, I _will_ spread my name throughout the world!"

"WHAT'RE YOU STANDING AROUND FOR!?" Captain Morgan yelled at his men. "SLAUGHTER THEM THIS INSTANT!"

"Duck, Zoro!" Luffy called out as he pulled back his leg. "GUM GUM WHIP!"

 **WOING!**

Luffy stretched his leg out and whipped it around to take down all the marines that Zoro had been holding back with his swords.

"GAH!" Captain Morgan gaped at his fallen men in surprise.

"You did it!" Coby gasped. "Incredible!"

"What the hell are you?" Zoro wondered.

"I ate the Gum Gum Fruit," Luffy answered, "Now I'm a Rubber Man."

"So he does have Devil Fruit Powers," Captain Morgan realized.

Captain Morgan's marines were terrified by Luffy and Zoro's crazy strength. "Captain! We don't stand a chance against them! These guys are crazy! We can't even handle Zoro by himself!"

Captain Morgna scowled, "This is a direct order! Everyone who spouted weakness just now… must shoot themselves in the head! I HAVE NO NEED FOR WEAKLING SOLDIERS!"

"There's something wrong with those marines," Zoro realized as Luffy charged at Captain Morgan and his men.

"LUFFY!" Coby cheered him on, "CRUSH THOSE MARINES!"

 **POW!**

Luffy shot out his fist and Captain Morgan barely managed to block it with his ax.

Captain Morgan stepped back and threw off his officer's coat as he prepared for battle, "Rankless, low-status bums have no right whatsoever to defy me! I AM MARINE CAPTAIN 'AX-HAND' MORGAN!"

"I'm Luffy!" Luffy replied, "Nice to meetcha!"

"RAAH!" Morgan lunged and Luffy and swung his ax at his head but Luffy ducked under it and slipped passed him. Morgan spun around an raised his ax-arm over his head and brought it down.

 **KA-CHOP!**

Luffy managed to jump over of the ax but Morgan's attack split the ground where it struck.

But while Captain Morgan's ax was still stuck in the ground, Luffy shot his feet out and drove them into his face.

 **WHAM!**

Captain Morgan went flying backwards but managed to flip over into a low crouch. "You runt!" Luffy rushed in for another attack. "DIE!"

Captain Morgan raised his ax for another overhead strike but Luffy spun in the side in midair to avoid it, "NO THANKS **!"** Luffy kept spinning and slammed his foot upside Morgan's face.

 **THWHAM!**

The Marine Captain went flying and this time landed on his back.

Captain Morgan's marines looked on in shock, "This Captain is… being trounced completely…"

Luffy jumped on Captain Morgan's chest and pulled him by the collar then started to deliver a series of hard punches right to the Marine Captain's metal jaw.

"You call yourself a marine?" Luffy asked. "You've destroyed Coby's dream!"

" **HOLD IT, RIGHT THERE STRAW HAT!"** Helmeppo suddenly called out. **"CHECK** _ **THIS**_ **OUT!"**

 **POW!**

Luffy ignored Helmeppo and punched Captain Morgan in the face again.

"I SAID HOLD IT!" Helmeppo yelled, "ARE YOU STUPID!? PAY ATTENTION TO ME! I HAVE A HOSTAGE HERE!"

"Oi!" Zoro called out to Luffy who finally looked up to see Helmeppo weakly holding a pistol to Coby's head.

"if you value this guy's life, don't move!" Helmeppo ordered. "One move and I'll shoot!"

 **CLICK!**

" **Not so fast."**

Helmeppo's legs started shaking as he felt the barrel of a rifle press into his own head. He looked back to see Sabo standing behind him with Bonnie Anne pressed into his head.

"You ever actually shot a gun before?" Sabo asked. "Or do you usually just have your daddy's men do everything for you? One thing you'd know if you ever did it for yourself is that headshots are really messy. That's why I _usually_ aim for the body. But not this time… you pull that trigger and it'll be the last thing you ever do."

Coby's eyes locked with Luffy's and the pirate flash him a smile.

"LUFFY! I don't want to get in your way!" Cob"y called, "Even if it means dying!"

"You hear that, stupid son?" Luffy asked, "Coby isn't afraid to die!"

"WELL _I_ AM!" Helmeppo shrieked, "DADDY KILL HIM!"

Captain Morgan stood back up and raised his ax up over Luffy's head.

"LUFFY, BEHIND YOU!" Coby shouted.

 **KER-CHOW!**

The Marine Captain froze as he received to bullet to the chest courtesy of Bonnie Anne.

"ONI GIRI!"

 **SLIKA-SLICE!**

Zoro charged in and slashed Captain Morgan with all three of his swords as he rushed passed.

"GUM GUM PISTOL!"

Luffy stretched his arm and shot his fist over Coby's head into Helmeppo's face.

 **KA-POW!**

Both father and son dropped to the ground unconscious.

"Nice!" Luffy praised his two-man crew.

"My pleasure, Captain," Zoro replied as he pulled his sword out of his mouth.

Sabo walked over to Captain Morgan then looked over at Zoro and smirked. "Take that swordsman, I got him first!"

"Maybe," Zoro replied, "But _I_ took him down, gun-freak!"

Captain Morgan's men stared at the three pirates in shock. "Captain Morgan's been beaten! Unbelievable! These guys are insane!"

"Insane, huh?" Sabo repeated. "People keep calling me that and I have no idea why." Sabo grinned and held up his rifle, "But my girlfriend here still have five shots left so if any of you guys would like to try arresting us, you're welcome to try."

Instead, Morgan's marines let out a loud cheer, "HURRAY! WE'RE FREE! MORGAN'S REIGN IF OVER! HURRAY OF THE MARINES!"

"Huh? Everyone's happy their Captain's been beaten?" Luffy asked.

"Everyone was just afraid of Morgan," Coby realized.

 **THUD!**

Zoro clutched his stomach and dropped to the ground.

"What's wrong, Zoro? Are you hurt?" Coby asked as he rushed over.

"I'm… hungry…" Zoro answered.

"Oh, me too!" Luffy said.

"But you're always hungry," Sabo pointed out.

* * *

A large crowd was gathered outside a familiar tavern. They were all peering in the window for a chance to see the heroes that had defeated Captain Morgan and saved the town.

"I'M STUFFED!" Zoro shouted. There was a large pile of empty plates in front of him. "I was definitely at my rope's end having not eaten for three weeks!"

Rika and her mother laughed along with Coby at the bar.

"Huh? You're finished already?" Luffy asked as he pulled a fork out of his mouth.

"How the heck can you have a bigger appetite than me?" Zoro asked as he motioned to the even bigger pile of plates in front of Luffy.

"Rubber stomach," Sabo answered as he wiped his mouth with a napkin. There were only two plates in front of him. But Bonnie Annie was in the chair next to him.

"Uh… thank you for treating me to food too," Coby thanked Rika's mother.

"It's no problem," she replied with a kind smile, "After all, you did save the town."

"You're really amazing!" Rika gushed as she stared up at Luffy in awe.

"And I'm gonna be even more amazing," Luffy said, "'Cause I'm gonna be King of the Pirates."

"Am I really your first recruit besides the gun-nut?" Zoro asked.

"Hey, don't judge me and my relationship with my girlfriend!" Sabo retorted, "You're the one who can't commit himself to just one sword and has to use three, sword- _swinger_."

"Right… just me and you two lunatics," Zoro resolved, "Do you at least have a ship?"

"There," Luffy said as he pointed out the window at the tiny raft-boat they'd arrived in.

"That's it…" Zoro grumbled.

"But we'll have a bigger crew and a bigger ship before long!" Luffy insisted with a smile. "And a pirate flag too!"

"I think Luffy was born without any sense of planning…" Coby said.

"That's where I come in," Sabo stated, "We don't need hundreds of men. We'll settle for ten really special crewmates. Quality over quantity. Once we've got a handful of pirates and a decent ship, we'll head for the Grand Line."

Coby spat out his drink, "THE GRAND LINE? You can't go there! It's supposed to be a Pirate's Graveyard!"

"Is the Grand Line really that awful?" Rika asked.

"No way!" Sabo said before Coby got a chance to protest again. "It's the biggest and most famous ocean in the world. It's the place where the Pirate King Gold Roger hid his treasure the One Piece. So that means the Grand Line is the place where we'll make our dreams come true."

"Guess it can't be helped," Zoro reasoned, "Maybe _that man_ is there somewhere."

"YOU CAN'T BE GOING ALONG WITH THIS?" Coby exclaimed.

"What're you so worked up about?" Luffy asked, "You're not coming."

"No, but I'm worried about you!" Coby admitted. "You and I haven't known each other for long but we _are_ friends."

"Sure," Luffy agreed, "We're gonna part ways but we'll always be friends!"

"Since I was a kid I never had any friends," Coby said, "Much less anyone who would fight for my sake. But more than anything I never tried to fight for anything. But you guys have taught me how to live for my beliefs! I've decided to make my childhood dream come true! I want to join the Marines."

"Shouldn't you be worried about yourself then?" Zoro asked. "Even if you were just a chore boy, you did spend two years on Alvida's pirate ship. Don't underestimate the info-gathering skills of the Marines. If they find out about that, they'll never let you join."

"Don't worry, I've got a plan," Sabo said.

"You do?" Coby asked.

" **Pardon me,"** the three pirates and Coby turned and saw a squad of marines entering the tavern. At the head of the group was a tanned marine with a green neck tie. He was Commander Ripper and with Captain Morgan out of commission he was now the highest ranking marine at the base. "Is it true that you are pirates?"

"Yeah," Luffy answered, "We even got our first crew mate. So that makes us an official crew."

"We appreciate that you saved our base and this town from that tyrant," Command Ripper said, "However, now that we know you are pirates, in the name of the Marines, we cannot stand by quietly… you will leave this town at once. Out of obligation, we will refrain from contacting headquarters."

The crowd outside the tavern complained, "Hey marines! How can you talk like that? Even you guys were terrified of Morgan! We owe these people our lives!"

"Look who's suddenly acting like they have a sense of justice," Sabo said as he stood up, "Don't do us any favors. I _want you_ to tell headquarters what happened here. Tell them how we, the criminal pirates, served justice and took down your corrupt officer while you guys did nothing."

"Hold it right there!" Commander Ripper called out as Sabo fished into his coat… and pulled out Captain Morgan's logbook.

"This is your Captain's logbook," Sabo announced, "He kept a decent record of all his criminal activity which includes all the monthly tributes that these people had to pay him to stay alive. The most interesting part is the one hundred million berries of _their money_ that he paid to have that statue made. That should be enough evidence to ensure that Ax-Hand Morgan spends the rest of his days in prison. I'm presenting it in front of all these witnesses so it can't just be swept under the carpet."

Commander Ripper reached out to take the logbook but Sabo turned and handed it off to Coby then he fished into his coat again and pulled out the sack of gold and wads of bills that he'd gotten out of Captain Morgan's safe.

"This is the money that Morgan had left in his safe," Sabo said, "If you're serious about turning things around and actually serving these people as opposed to abusing them, you'll see that they get it back."

Sabo handed the money off to Coby as well.

"This is Coby," Sabo said as he motioned to the boy. "We freed him from Iron Mace Alvida's crew on the way here. He's not a pirate. He wanted to be a marine but was discouraged when he saw you guys acting as thugs for a criminal tyrant and his bratty son."

" _Now_ we're ready to leave," Sabo resolved. "But if you're going to chase us out of town as criminals then that means it's up to you to prove that you're better than us."

"See ya, Coby!" Luffy said as he and Zoro stood up. Zoro shouldered his swords while Luffy picked up Bonnie Anne and handed the rifle off to Sabo.

"You're really leaving?" Rika asked.

"Yup," Luffy replied, "Take care."

The marines and the crowd parted as the three pirates walked out of the tavern.

"Thank you, pirates!" a man called out.

"You saved our town, we'll always be grateful!"

"You're not pirates, you're heroes!"

Luffy smiled, Sabo grinned and Zoro smirked as they made their way to the ship.

* * *

Back in the tavern, Commander Ripper turned to survey Coby.

"So you want be a marine, kid?" he asked.

"…" Coby silently stared out the window after Luffy, Sabo and Zoro.

" _They still helped me…"_ Coby thought to himself. _"Even in the very end… I still ended up relying on them… Nothing's changed at all. Am I an idiot?"_

"I'M NO KID!" Coby snapped. "I'M A MAN! AND IT'S MY DREAM TO BECOME A MARINE! I'LL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES!"

"Commander…" one of the other marines spoke up, "Can we really trust this kid on the word of a pirate? They could be planting him as a spy."

"Here, take this!" Coby said as he shoved the logbook and money into Captain Ripper's hands. "I don't need it BECAUSE I'M A MAN WHO _WILL_ BECOME A MARINE OFFICER!"

"…" Commander Ripper stared down at Coby, "This may be a peaceful town but that doesn't change that fact that countless comrades of ours have been killed by pirates. Don't take the Marines lightly. Permission to join… granted!"

"Thank you, sir!" Coby exclaimed as he saluted.

* * *

"Coby will be able to handle everything else on his own," Luffy said. "I just know it."

"Was there a point to that back there?" Zoro asked when they'd reached the boat.

"I'm giving us some positive press," Sabo answered.

"It's weird way to leave a town," Zoro said as they climbed onto the boat, "I thought pirates were supposed to be hated."

"Being pirates means we're free to do whatever we want," Sabo replied, "No one ever said that pirates can't be heroes."

" **LUFFY! SABO!"**

The three pirates turned to see Coby standing on the shore with Rika and her mother.

"Thank you!" Coby called out as he saluted them, "I'll never forget all you've done for me!"

"I've never heard of pirates being thanked by a marine," Zoro said.

They dropped their sail and set off. Luffy turned and waved back at Coby, "LET'S MEET AGAIN SOMETIME, COBY!"

"BYE!" Rika shouted as she waved.

" **GROUP SALUTE!"** Commander Ripper ordered.

The three Straw Hat Pirates blinked in surprise as Commander Ripper and the entire squad of Shells Town Marines saluted them.

Sabo waved while Luffy shouted back as they sailed off, "SEE YA!"

"Those are some great friends you have there," Commander Ripper commented to Coby.

"Yes, sir," Coby agreed.

"Our salute just now is in violation of Marine Law!" Commander Ripper addressed the others. "Therefore we will go without food for three days! Understood?"

"Yes, sir!" Coby and the marines replied.

" _Even if we're divided as pirates and marines let's meet again someday!"_ Coby thought to himself.

"Alright, our crew has finally set sail!" Luffy announced as he stood at the front of the boat. Sabo and Zoro sat against the sides behind him. "Looks like some pretty good adventures are awaiting us. I'll be King of the Pirates!"

"You really seem obsessed with this King of the Pirates, thing," Zoro noted. "Is there a reason for it?"

"No reason," Luffy said as his mind flashed back to Red Hair Shanks and his straw hat, "Except I swore to a certain man that someday I'd gather a great crew, find the world's greatest treasure and become King of the Pirates!"

"And what's your story?" Zoro asked.

"I'm gonna shake the world and take down the World Nobles," Sabo answered.

"Who?" Zoro asked.

"They're the worst examples of human life in the world," Sabo told him, "You thought that stupid son was bad? They're a hundred times worse. They actually keep people as slaves. I'm gonna take 'em down and make the world a better place."

"ALRIGHT! LET'S GO!" Luffy cheered, "LET'S SET SAIL FOR THE GRAND LINE!"

* * *

Silver signing off


	5. Nami

_**BROTHER ON BOARD**_

pipi96 - They are heroes. And in this version of the story I'm going to have Quartermaster Sabo working to ensure that his crew has some positive press following their various good deeds.

MADMatt6 - This site doesn't like all those dots in your new penname. I took your advice and took some extra time to plan out what I was going to do with incorporating Sabo into the story. I'm pleased with what I have. Spoiler alert, but you're right, further down the line, Sabo is going to fight Wapol in Luffy's place. That's one of Luffy's throwaway battles but to Sabo it will mean a lot more. Not just because it's an arrogant King that's just like a Celestial Dragon but because his character will go through a HUGE change over the course of a battle.

dhampire712 - With Sabo on board, things aren't going to play out that same way that they did before. That starts in this chapter with Nami and Buggy. Quartermaster and First Mate are more or less the same thing. Quartermaster is a more traditional pirate term and I decided to go with that one instead of First Mate. Zoro will have an official position... just as soon as Sabo figures out what that is.

Johnny Spectre - Don't hold your breath waiting for Koala. The only way I can think of her showing up early is by having her visit Loguetown with Dragon. Sabo will meet the revolutionaries eventually but it won't be for a long, long, long, long, LONG time.

LittlemissTrafalgar - As I said above, Koala will show up but not until much later in the story. For now, Sabo's going to get used to working with the other Straw Hats and his official partner in crime is going to be his rifle/girlfriend Bonnie Anne.

Mikila94 - Sabo's presence is going to really shake things up. In this chapter, I really messed around with the canon storyline. I'm starting out slowly but the changes are going to get bigger as the story goes on.

QPython - Thanks for the review! Your story was one of the major inspirations for mine. I hope you don't mind that I kind of stole your sound-effects bit. Zoro's going to have an official position but it will take a while for the Straw Hats to decide what that is exactly.

Nice to find another Pirate101 player! If you ever feel like revisiting the spiral to see what's changed, I'm always happy to lend a hand to make the game easier. The frog is Fan Flanders. She's a new companion that they recently added to the game. You meet her and the other companions like her the first time you meet your Class Trainer. She has the same stats as the companion you meet in the Kraken's Skull (Sarah Steel for Swashbucklers) but is faster and has different abilities.

Zaralann - Thanks!

* * *

 **Nami-**

Luffy, Sabo and their newest recruit 'Pirate Hunter' Roronoa Zoro sailed across the peaceful waters of the East Blue. They'd left Shells Town behind and were on their way to the next island.

"Alright… so you're clearly not navigator material," Sabo noted as he sat in the back of the boat and stared across at Zoro. Luffy had actually joined down in the bottom of the boat after a close call where the rubber pirate had almost lost his treasured Straw Hat. "Besides swinging your swords, is there anything else that you can do? I'm not gonna have you sitting around doing nothing like a freeloader this whole trip."

"What do _you_ do?" Zoro asked in return. "I could probably do it better."

"Sabo's First Mate," Luffy stated.

"Quartermaster," Sabo corrected. "My job is basically reigning in Luffy and negotiating with other crews. I've got nearly ten years' experience doing that already. You couldn't do my job."

"Oh, Zoro, can you cook?" Luffy blurted out.

"Not well," Zoro said, "I usually buy my food from local taverns. That way I can get booze too."

"Dang, I was getting hungry," Luffy grumbled.

"I'm starting to get hungry too," Sabo admitted.

Zoro's stomach growled which told everyone that he was hungry too.

Luffy looked up and saw something flying overhead, "A bird… LET'S EAT IT!"

"Huh? How?" Zoro asked.

"Leave it to me!" Luffy replied as he quickly climbed up onto the sail.

"Wait, Luffy, hold on!" Sabo cut him off. "We're on a tiny boat surrounded by a ton of water. If you go flying up there who knows if you'll actually land in it again."

"Then what should we do?" Luffy asked as he sat back down on the sail, "I'm hungry."

 **KER-CHOW!**

Sabo fired his rifle up into the air and smirked when his bullet struck the bird.

Sabo turned and grinned tauntingly at Zoro, "Score one for the gun-nut."

The bird fell out of the sky and started to drop towards the boat. The sun shined down from overhead and caused the falling bird's shadow to grow as it got closer.

"That's a big bird," Luffy realized as he kept his gave locked in the air.

Sabo and Zoro stared down at the deck and watched as the bird's shadow grew from the size of a seagull to the size of turkey… to the size of a winged horse… to the side of the ship.

"THAT BIRD'S BIGGER THAN OUR SHIP!" Zoro realized.

"OH CRAP!" Sabo yelped, "If it falls on us, we'll be sunk!"

Zoro acted quickly and grabbed his white sword then launched himself up out of the boat towards the top of the sail and slashed his sword at the incoming bird.

 **SLISH!**

The huge bird was cleaved in two. The two halves of the bird dropped down on to the water on opposite sides of the ship.

 **SPLA-SPLASH!**

Zoro landed on the deck and grinned at Sabo, "Score one for the swordsman."

"Yeah well… we've still gotta pull it in here and pluck the feathers," Sabo pointed out. "Then I've gotta figure out how we're gonna cook it."

"I still think I could've caught it," Luffy said as he climbed down from the sail.

"Do you see the size of this thing?" Sabo asked as he pointed at the two halves of the huge bird. "It would've caught _you_ then who knows what would've happened."

* * *

A few hours travel away on one of the Organ Islands, a familiar orange haired thief raced through the empty cobblestone streets of Orange Town.

"Yes! I finally got it!" Nami the Pirate Thief said as she ran for her life.

"GET BACK HERE, YOU!" one of three large sword-wielding pirates shouted as they chased after her. The pirate trio was known as the Superhuman Domaingos and they were furious. "You wench! Give that map back! We just stole that chart of the Grand Line!"

"Damn it," one of the other pirates complained, "If we don't get it back, we're dead meat too! I don't wanna be killed by one of the Captain's cannonballs!"

With renewed motivation not to be killed by their cannon-happy Captain, the Superhuman Domingos picked up speed and started to gain on Nami.

"Oh crap!" Nami gasped, "They're closing in! I need a distraction!"

She looked frantically around her but there was no one around. The sky was clear. No bird. No hero to drop in and help at the last minute. Nami looked back over her shoulder as saw that pirates were getting closer.

But the look back cost her as her foot caught on a loose cobblestone and caused her stumble. She lost speed and struggled to keep from falling over.

 **WHAP!**

The largest of the trio of pirates who sported a nasty scar going all the way around his bald head surged forward and grabbed Nami from behind in a big bear hug. "GOTCHA!"

Nami frantically flailed her legs but the large pirate was too strong for her. The elusive pirate thief had finally been caught.

One of the other pirates, a dark skinned man with hair in a short ponytail, ripped the map free from Nami's tight grasp.

"So what do we do with her?" the third pirate, a red haired man with a checkered bandana asked.

"Let's get her back to the Captain," the pirate with the map decided. "This thief had the nerve to steal from him. And if he doesn't have someone to take his anger out on then he'll take it out on the crew again!"

"That's right wench!" the big bald pirate taunted Nami, "You had the nerve to steal from the infamous Buggy the Clown! Whatever he does to you, will be ten-times worse than anything we could think of! That'll show you what happens when you mess with the Superhuman Domingos and the Buggy Pirates!"

"No please! You can have the map back!" Nami pleaded with them. "Just let me go!"

"And keep the Captain from getting his revenge?" the red headed pirate retorted, " _You're_ the one with the death wish. Not us."

The three pirates carried Nami off to meet their Captain while the captive thief's mind frantically worked to come up with a way out of this horrible situation.

* * *

"Can we eat it now?" Luffy asked.

"No," Sabo answered as he and Zoro paddled the boat. "We have to cook it first."

"Then let's cook it now," Luffy said.

"I'm not starting a fire on our tiny wooden boat," Sabo told him.

"We're surrounded by water," Luffy pointed out.

"We're not cooking it until we make land!" Sabo insisted.

"Oh, why didn't you just say so?" Luffy replied. "Gimme those!" Luffy took the paddles away from Sabo and Zoro then twisted his rubber arms around. He sat down in the middle of the boat before then dipped the paddles back in the water. Suddenly Luffy's arms started to unwind and the paddles rapidly churned through the water.

 **SHOOOOM!**

The tiny boat shot off at triple speed and practically flew across the water.

Sabo looked over at Zoro, "Never underestimate Luffy when he's hungry."

"I guess it pays to have a rubber Captain," Zoro noted as they shot through the water.

Sabo squinted as he stared ahead of them, "Hey, I think I see some people in the water."

"Hey you! Stop the boat!" a trio of men called out as they struggled to stay afloat.

"We're going too fast," Sabo pointed out, "There's no way to stop now."

"JUST GRAB ON!" Zoro called out to the three men.

"What did he say?" one of the men asked.

 **WHAM!**

The boat plowed into the three water-logged men as it raced passed. They just barely managed to grab on and jumped into the back of the boat.

"What the heck are you doing?" one of the men complained. "Are you trying to kill us?"

"Oh, you made it," Sabo noted, "Good job."

"Stop the boat!" one of the men ordered as the three of them drew swords. He had very pronounced cheek bones and wore a black cap that depicted a jolly roger with a red clown nose. "We're the Tightrope Walking Funan Brothers!"

"Who?" Zoro asked. The Funan Bros all sweat-dropped.

"Are you guys with some kind of circus?" Sabo asked.

The second man spoke up, he was chubby with dark skin and a unibrow. "We're members of Buggy the Clown's crew!"

"Who?" Luffy asked.

The Funan Bros all face-faulted then jumped back up and shouted. "HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW BUGGY THE CLOWN?"

"We just set sail two days ago," Sabo answered.

"Well your joyride ends now!" the third Funan announced. He had bushy curly orange hair that was parted in two directions. "We're taking over this boat."

Luffy, Sabo and Zoro all shared a glance.

 **POW! POW! POW!**

Exactly seven seconds later, two of the Funan Brothers were now paddling the boat while the leader begged for forgiveness.

"Wow! We had no idea you guys were so strong!" Funan Bro 1 gushed in apology. "Please forgive our rudeness!"

"Do you guys know if there's an island nearby?" Sabo asked.

"The Organ Islands are less than an hour away," Bro 1 answered. "Our Captain is based in a town on one of them."

"Then paddle faster!" Luffy ordered, "The sooner we land the sooner we can eat!"

"Yes sir, Mr. Straw Hat!" the Funan Brothers chorused as they paddled faster.

"What were you guys doing the water anyway?" Sabo asked.

"It's tragic, but we'll tell you," Bro 1 said. He quickly recounted how they'd been tricked out of their tricked out of their treasure and their ship by a thief and then how she'd seemingly called on a storm that came out of nowhere and destroyed the ship they had been left on.

"She predicted the weather?" Zoro asked, "Sounds like she'd make a good navigator."

"Hold on… this thief, what did she look like?" Sabo questioned.

"She was cute," the chubby Funan Bro answered, "She had orange hair and looked like a cute kitten."

"But she had claws!" the curly orange haired Funan added. "She's a conniving evil wench!"

"And you guys said your Captain was Buggy the Clown, right?" Sabo questioned further.

"Yeah, does this mean you've heard of him?" Funan Bro 1 asked.

"I heard that he recently stole a map to the Grand Line," Sabo answered.

"That's right," Funan Bro 1 confirmed, "The Captain used his Devil Fruit Powers to steal it from a nearby Marine Base."

"Well, that thief's after the map," Sabo told them.

"Wait, did you say Devil Fruit Powers?" Zoro asked.

"Yes," Funan Bro 1 said, "Captain Buggy ate one of the infamous Devil Fruits and it gave him a special power. He's a terrifying person."

"Hey, stop talking and paddle faster!" Luffy ordered, "I'm hungry!"

Sabo grinned as he sat back against the side of the boat, "I think I just figured out a way that we can get a map to the Grand Line _and_ a navigator to get us there. Let's just hope this 'Buggy' is open to negotiating."

* * *

"Captain, we're back with the map!" one of the Superhuman Domingos called out.

They were on the roof of the Drinker's Pub, a large two-story building that was near the harbor. Buggy's circus-themed pirate ship the Big Top was anchored nearby. It's main feature was a large flat roof that Buggy and his crew had set up a few tents on top of to act as their base.

The three Superhuman Domingos proudly presented Nami to their Captain and crew.

" **So… you managed to catch the thief?"** a voice came from inside a tent that had been set up on the roof. A figure emerged from the tent and Nami gasped when she came face-to-face with Buggy the Clown in all his blue-haired, face-painted, red-nosed glory. "Well done, men!"

"Look, it was just a map!" Nami pointed out, "It's not like I stole any of your treasure! I'm sorry! I needed that map to save my village! Please, have mercy! Just let me go and I promise that I'll never do it again!"

"You're damn right you won't!" Buggy growled at her. "No one steals from me! It doesn't matter if you stole treasure, a map or a barrel of rum! Stealing from Buggy the Clown is the worst crime you could ever commit! And you're going to pay for it… with your life!"

"ARE YOU NUTS!" Nami shouted. She immediately dropped her sympathetic act when she realized that Buggy wasn't having any of it, "You're gonna kill me over a map?"

"You picked the wrong pirate to mess with, little thief!" Buggy boasted, "That's a mistake that's gonna cost you your life!" Buggy turned and addressed his men, "Lock her up!"

 **CLANG!**

A moment later, Nami was locked in a small but incredibly heavy iron cage. It had taken ten of Buggy's men to carry it off of the ship.

"Men, I have an announcement to make!" Buggy addressed his crew as he held up the map, "We've spent enough time clowning around here in the East Blue. Now that we have the map back… WE'RE HEADING TO THE GRAND LINE!"

"YEAH, CAPTAIN BUGGY!" the Buggy Pirates cheered.

"We'll execute the thief later," Buggy decided, "She's not going anywhere while she's trapped in that cage, for now, LET'S CELEBRATE! TO THE GRAND LINE!"

"TO THE GRAND LINE!" The Buggy Pirates echoed.

And so, Nami was treated to a show as Buggy and his crew broke out a ton of booze and proceeded to get wasted.

Nami took advantage of their distraction and the fact that they hadn't tied her up and pulled out her lock picks then got to work on getting her cage open. She didn't know if she'd still be able to get away with the map. But at this point she'd just settle for getting away alive.

"You're wasting your time, thief!" Nami froze and looked up from her work to find Buggy standing in front of her cage. "I had planned to bring you a last drink before your execution but it looks like you'd rather get it over with than sit down and wait."

Buggy fished into his coat and pulled out a key, "This is the only thing that'll get you outta that cage and its safe with me. You stole from the wrong pirate, girl!"

Buggy turned to his men, "MEN, PREPARE A SPECIAL BUGGY BALL!"

Nami swallowed hard and watched as huge cannon was wheeled out in front of her face. A big red cannonball with Buggy's insignia emblazoned on it was loaded into the cannon.

"All set, Captain!"

"What… what're you going to do with that?" Nami asked nervously.

"Observe the might of the Buggy Ball," Buggy said as the loaded cannon was aimed at the town. "Light it!" Buggy's men lit the fuse on the cannon and it quickly burned down.

 **KA-BOOOOM!**

The cannon fired and blasted the Buggy Ball out into the town.

 **BOOOOM-BOOOOOM-BOOOOOM!** The super-cannonball plowed through an entire row of at least seven house and reduced them to rubble.

* * *

"What was that explosion?" Zoro wondered as he, Luffy, Sabo and the three Funan Bros finally made land at the Orange Town harbor.

"That was one of Captain Buggy's beloved Buggy Balls," the lead Funan Brother explained.

"That sure packed a punch," Sabo noted. "But at least now we know where Buggy is."

"But I thought you said we could eat once we made land," Luffy complained.

"That was before I knew that Buggy was killing time by leveling a defenseless town," Sabo said, "If we let him keep going he could end up hurting someone."

"Aw, but I'm hungry!" Luffy groaned.

"You can eat once we deal with Buggy," Sabo said.

"You promise?" Luffy asked.

"I promise," Sabo agreed.

"RIGHT! LET'S GO!" Luffy shouted as he ran off towards the Drinker's Pub.

"Hey! Wait for us!" Zoro called out as he and Sabo ran after him.

* * *

"Truly flashy!" Buggy exclaimed, "With these Buggy Balls and my Devil Fruit Powers, I can conquer the Grand Line!" Buggy turned to face Nami, "Now it's your turn girl!"

Nami's eyes widened as the cannon turned so it was not pointed at her and a new Buggy Ball was loaded into it.

"WAIT! HOLD ON!" Nami protested, "ARE YOU CRAZY? WHAT'RE YOU GOING TO DO WITH THAT!?"

"I told you I was going to execute you for stealing my map!" Buggy said, "I'm going to do that flashily using one of my Special Buggy Balls!"

"YOU CAN'T SHOOT ME WITH A CANNON!" Nami yelled. "THAT'S INSANE!"

"You're the crazy one that tried to steal from me!" Buggy insisted, "Now you'll pay the ultimate price! LIGHT THE CANNON!"

Nami's life flashed before her eyes as a pirate lit a match and brought it to the cannon's fuse.

 **POW!**

An arm stretched over the cage and a fist slammed into the pirate's face. The pirate went flying and smashed through a table. Buggy and his crew stared in surprise.

"WHO DID THAT?" Buggy demanded.

"Sorry to interrupt," Sabo called out. Luffy jumped over Nami's cage while Sabo and Zoro walked around it.

Luffy, Sabo and Zoro were now standing in between Nami's cage and the cannon.

"We're looking for Buggy the Clown," Luffy announced, "Is that you?"

* * *

Silver signing off…


	6. Buggy's Crew

_**BROTHER ON BOARD**_

LittlemissTrafalgar - As you'll see in this chapter, the Straw Hats have things well in hand. Buggy can't get the drop on them with Luffy, Sabo and Zoro all working together.

Johnny Spectre - The Revolutionaries never bothered to get involved with Baroque Works. I don't see why they'd change things here. However, I came up with a way to have Koala come into the story early. Her first appearance will be at Loguetown.

Zaralann - Thanks again!

dhampire712 - Sabo has experience handling Luffy so he knows how to curb some of his more impulsive urges. That's why he's the first mate/quartermaster. But Luffy's still Luffy. I have an 'officer-like' position in mind for Zoro. It's just going to be a while until Sabo comes up with it. There's going to be a running gag of Sabo trying to come up with Zoro's official position.

Son of Whitebeard - Yup. The clown's going down.

* * *

 **Buggy's Crew-**

Buggy glared at Luffy, Sabo and Zoro as they stood in between Nami's cage and the cannon he had planned to use to execute her.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?" The clown pirate demanded.

"I'm Monkey D. Luffy," Luffy introduced himself, "And I'm gonna be King of the Pirates!"

"King of the…" Buggy sputtered while his crew gaped in surprise. "ARE YOU JOKING?"

"No, he isn't, "Sabo said, "But I did hear a good one the other day. How'd it go? Two pirates meet at a tavern and one of them says to the other, 'I know a sailor with a wooden leg named Smith' and the other pirate says, 'Really, what's the name of his other leg!?'"

"SHISHISHISHISHI!" Luffy burst out laughing while Buggy and his crew face-faulted.

"I don't get it," Zoro said.

"Shishishishi! Neither do I!" Luffy admitted through his laughter.

"Then why are you laughing?" Zoro asked.

"Shishishi! It's a joke! You're supposed to laugh at them!" Luffy explained.

" _I'm screwed,"_ Nami thought to herself as a rain cloud loomed over her head, _"These three idiots are my only hope of getting out here alive. Hold on… maybe I can shift the blame…"_

"BOSS!" Nami blurted out, "YOU CAME TO SAVE ME!"

"Boss?" Buggy repeated as he recovered from Sabo's failed attempt at comedy.

"I'm sorry I didn't get away with the map!" Nami continued, "But I swear I did everything you told me to!"

"So this thief works for those three," Buggy realized. "THAT MAKES THEM ALL THIEVES! We may need a bigger cage…"

"Who's this?" Zoro asked he turned to look back at the girl in the cage.

"Beats me," Luffy replied.

"She's a thief I met in the Marine Base," Sabo said.

"Wait a minute, YOU!" Nami called out as she recognized Sabo, "The rifle-freak!"

"Always nice to leave an impression," Sabo muttered before he turned to Luffy and Zoro, "She was there trying to steal a map to the Grand Line but Buggy beat her to it." Sabo looked back at Nami. "Does this mean you managed to find it?"

"Yeah but then three of his goons caught me," Nami answered.

"We're heading for the Grand Line too," Sabo told her, "We heard from three water-logged friends of yours that you're a decent Navigator. Would you be willing to help us out?"

"OH, YOU'RE A NAVIGATOR!?" Luffy exclaimed. "JOIN OUR CREW!"

Nami sweat-dropped. "Buggy has the map and the key to my cage," she told them, "if you guys can somehow manage to get me out of here, I'll take you anywhere you want to go."

"Alright, you've got a deal," Sabo agreed. He spun around to face Buggy and his crew. "Okay, Buggy, let's try to be civil about this. What do you want for the girl and the map?"

"You think I'm going to let you walk away from this alive?" Buggy asked, "You thieves tried to steal from me! And now you have the nerve to try and negotiate? That's unforgivable!"

"I guess this means we're taking the map by force," Zoro said as he pulled his green bandana off his arm and tied it onto his head.

"That bandana… those swords…" one of the Superhuman Domingos gasped, "Captain! That's the Pirate Hunter!"

"What's the Pirate Hunter doing with those other two idiots?" Buggy wondered. "Rornoa Zoro! So you've come for my head and my bounty? Is that it?"

"I gave up pirate hunting," Zoro said, "Right now we're here for the map. You can either give it up willingly… or we'll take it."

"ARE YOU BASTARDS ACTUALLY THREATENING ME?" Buggy yelled. "I'm not gonna back down from three kids pretending to be pirates! MEN, show these two-bit idiot thieves what a real pirate crew can do!"

"AYE, CAPTAIN BUGGY!" Buggy's crew chorused. They charged passed their Captain towards the three Straw Hats.

"So much for negotiating," Sabo muttered as he readied his rifle.

"That's boring anyway!" Luffy replied as he cracked his knuckles.

"I never liked clowns to begin with," Zoro said as he drew his swords.

"RAAAAH!" Buggy's crew roared as they charged passed the cannon. There were twenty of them. The large mob of clown-themed pirates was led by the four Acrobatic Fuwas while the three Superhuman Domingos brought up the rear.

"GUM GUM GATLING!"

 **POW-POW-POW!**

"SCATTER BLAST!"

 **KER-CHOW!**

"TORA GARI!"

 **SLA-SLISH!**

The twenty pirates went flying backwards and crashed down around Buggy who was left staring at the sight of his crew being taken out in an instant by just three men.

"Whoa!" Nami gasped, "They're strong!"

"I see… so you're not complete amateurs," Buggy noted as he surveyed his fallen crew then a sinister smile spread across his painted face. "You three deserve a hand!"

Buggy pulled out a large knife and slashed it down at his other wrist.

 **SLISH!**

"HE CUT HIS OWN HAND OFF!" Nami shrieked in horror as Buggy threw has severed hand towards the Straw Hats.

"HEY! THAT'S NOT FUNNY!" Luffy exclaimed.

"What the heck is that clown up to?" Sabo wondered as he stared down at Buggy's hand.

But then in a moment straight out of the Addams Family, Buggy's hand jumped up off of the ground and ran on its fingers over to the cannon.

"HIS HAND!" Nami yelped, "IT'S MOVING ON ITS OWN!"

"Is that his… Devil Fruit Power?" Sabo asked.

"That's right!" Buggy boasted, "I ate the Chop Chop Fruit and now I'm a Chop Chop Man. I can separate and reattach parts of my body at will. Swords and knives are useless against me. This is why the call me Buggy the Immortal! And it's why _you_ ARE ALL GONNA DIE!"

 **FSSSS!**

Buggy's severed hand hadn't wasted any time and had stuck a match before lighting the fuse to the cannon.

"DIE FLASHILY!"

 **KA-BOOOOOOM!**

"AAH! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" Nami shrieked as she dove into the back of her tiny cage.

"Don't worry, I've got this!" Luffy said as he took a step forward in front of the other. He opened his mouth wide and took in a deep breath, "GUM… GUM… BALLOON!"

 **FWOOSH!**

Luffy's body stretched and started to grow. Sabo and Zoro jumped out of the way as the rubber pirate's body continued to inflate and expand until he was a large, round twelve-foot blob.

"WHAT THE HELL IS HE?" Buggy gasped as the Buggy Ball hit Luffy's round belly.

 **BOING!**

The Buggy Ball bounced off of the rubber pirate and went flying back the way it came.

Buggy's jaw dropped and he gaped up at the Buggy Ball in shock as it flew over his head, off of the tavern towards the harbor.

 **KA-BOOOOOM-BOOOOOOOM!**

The Buggy Ball smashed into the side of Buggy's pirate ship and blasted straight through one side and came out the other.

"Geez," Zoro complained, "You could've warned me you were gonna try something like that…"

"MY SHIP!" Buggy shouted as the Big Top started to take in water and sink into the harbor.

"See Buggy, you're not the only one on this roof that's eaten a Devil Fruit!" Luffy announced.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?" Nami yelled, "YOU'RE A MONSTER TOO!"

"I'm not a monster," Luffy said, "I ate the Gum Gum Fruit. Now I'm a Rubber Man!"

"Bullets, cannonballs and most blunt physical attacks are useless against him," Sabo chimed in, "This is why they'll soon be calling him King of the Pirates!"

"YOU BASTARD!" Buggy yelled at Luffy, "HOW DARE YOU DESTROY MY SHIP!"

"Hey, you're the one that fired the cannon!" Luffy argued, "I just deflected it!"

"You're gonna pay for this you little rubber brat!" Buggy spat, "I'm going to…"

 **ROOOOWWWRRRRR!**

Buggy's painted lips stretched into a cruel grin. "Now you're in for it! Pesky punks, IT'S TIME FOR THE WILD ANIMAL SHOW!"

A large four-legged figure emerged from Buggy's pirate ship and in a single bound it leapt from the top of the sinking Big Top to the roof of the Drinker's Pub.

 **Thoom! Thooom! Thoooom!**

The ground shook with each step as the three pirates and Nami suddenly found themselves faced with a massive lion. It stood over fifteen feet tall from the bottom of its paws to the top of its shoulders. Its fur had greenish tint and it's mane was long a purple.

" **Captain Buggy, what's going on here?"**

Riding on the huge lion's back was a man. He wore a blue pants and the top half of his body was covered in white fur with a pair of bear ears on top of his head.

"Idiots thieves, meet my First Mate… MOHJI THE BEAST TAMER!" Buggy exclaimed, "Mohji, it's time to stop clowning around! Show these punks how scary we can be!"

"I'm on it Captain," Mohji replied, "I'll bring you their heads."

Buggy grinned evilly, "Bring me any parts you like."

"Right… I'll handle this," Sabo offered as he hoisted Bonnie Anne onto his shoulder.

"Are you serious!?" Nami exclaimed, "You can't fight a lion!"

"I don't care about the lion," Sabo said, "My target is the weird guy on top of it." Sabo stepped in front of his two companions and faced off with the lion tamer. "What's with the costume?"

"Costume?" Mohji repeated, "This is my hair!"

"That just makes it weirder," Sabo said.

"That's it!" Mohji growled, "GET HIM RICHIE!"

 **ROOOWWWRRR!**

The giant lion reared back then charged.

Nami grabbed the front of her cage and glared at Luffy and Zoro, "Are you seriously gonna leave your friend to fight that maniac and his lion alone?"

"Sabo said he could handle it," Luffy said. "I trust him."

"If he can't I can always pick up the pieces," Zoro added.

"SO YOU'D JUST STAND HERE WHILE YOUR FRIEND GETS MAULED BY A LION!?" Nami berated them, "YOU PIRATES ARE DESPICABLE!"

Sabo calmly faced down the incoming lion as he cracked opened his rifle and loaded a single bullet into it then raised his rifle and aimed it at Mohji.

"Ha! You think you can hit me with that?" Mohji scoffed. "My reflexes are lightning fast! You'll never hit me!"

"I don't need to hit you," Sabo said as he tilted his rifle downward. "OVERWATCH!"

 **KER-CHOW!**

 **RAAHHHRR!**

The lion howled as the bullet struck its front leg. The limb gave out and the lion face-planted.

 **THUD!**

"WAAAHH!" Mohji screamed as his lion plowed into the ground and was stopped hard. He continued his forward momentum and went flying off the lion towards Sabo.

Sabo ran to meet the incoming lion tamer and swung his rifle like a bat. "KNOCK BACK!"

 **WHAM!**

Mohji went flying off the roof, over the mostly sunken Big Top and crashed down in the harbor.

"AND HE'S OUTTA THERE!" Sabo exclaimed. He walked up to the fallen lion and aimed his empty rifle at it. Richie the lion looked up and stared down the barrel of Bonnie Anne. "If you don't get out of here right now, I'll shoot another leg."

 **ZZZIIIP!** The dim-witted lion didn't know or care that Sabo's rifle was empty. He just ran and dove off the roof then fled from the bar.

"I… Mohji… WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?" Buggy shouted at seeing his first mate defeated so quickly.

"He… he beat the lion tamer!" Nami gasped in surprise.

"Is that all you've got?" Sabo called out to Buggy, "How 'bout you just give up the map now. Or else I'll show you what Bonnie can really do..."

" **Captain, this is the worst disgrace our crew has ever suffered."**

 **FWIP!**

Buggy and the Straw Hats watched as a man flipped up onto the roof… and landed on a unicycle. The man wore white pants, a long sleeveless coat and a blue and white checkered scarf. He hair was long and dark on one side and shaved short with blond stripes on the other.

"CABAJI!" Buggy yelled at the acrobat, "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?"

"I'm sorry Captain," Cabaji apologized, "I was down below when I saw the ship get struck by a cannonball. I quickly went aboard and tried to save as much as I could."

Cabaji dropped a large sack of the various salvaged supplies that he'd managed to get off of the Big Top before it sank.

"I didn't realize the situation was so bad over here," Cabaji confessed.

"These thieves are here to steal my map to the Grand Line," Buggy informed his only remaining crew member. "That punk with the rifle just took out Mohji. Go cut his head off!"

Cabaji grinned then tilted his head back and opened his mouth wide. He reached down into his opened mouth and slowly drew a sword. Cabaji gave his newly acquired sword a swing then pivoted on his unicycle to face Sabo. "With pleasure, Captain!"

"So first a beast tamer… now a weird acrobat," Sabo noted, "What a weird pirate crew."

"PREPARE TO DIE!" Cabaji shouted as he sped towards Sabo on his unicycle and drew back his sword.

 **KLANG!**

The strike was interrupted when Cabaji suddenly found Zoro standing in front of Sabo.

"The gun-nut already got his turn," Zoro said as he held back Cabaji's sword with one of his. "But if it's a swordfight you want, then I'm your man."

"You're Roronoa Zoro," Cabaji realized as he took in Zoro's bandana, sash and three swords. "As one great swordsman to another, it will be an honor to cut you down."

"I guess I'll just get out of the way then," Sabo reasoned as he walked away from Zoro and Cabaji and rejoined Luffy by Nami's cage.

Cabaji took a deep breath and called out, "Acrobatics! Old Man's Flame!"

 **Fwoosh!**

A stream of fire flew out of Cabaji's mouth and Zoro frantically reeled back to avoid contact with the flames. Cabaji grinned and swung his sword at Zoro's side while he was off balance.

 **KLANG!**

Zoro drew his other two swords and managed to get them up in time to block Cabaji's attack. Zoro grunted and shoved Cabaji away from him. The acrobat rolled backwards on his unicycle.

"Is that all you've got?" Zoro asked, "A cheap shot?"

"Oh, you didn't like that, huh?" Cabaji retorted, "Then you'll hate this! Acrobatics! Murder Case in the Hot Spring's Steam!" Cabaji dipped his sword down onto the ground then started to spin around in circles on his unicycle.

 **SWISH-SWISH-SWISH!**

Cabaji's sword scraped the roof and dust flew up around him.

"That's it?" Zoro called out. "You're just kicking up dust."

 **SWISH-SWISH-SWISH!**

Cabaji kept spinning and scraping the roof with his sword which caused more and more dust to fly up with each rotation. But then he stopped and the dust flew at Zoro in a thick cloud.

"Oh great, Zoro won't be able to see him in that," Sabo noted.

"He'll be fine," Luffy said.

"You'll never even see this coming!" Cabaji called out as he reached into his pockets, "Acrobatics! Theater of One Hundred Kamikaze Tops!"

Cabaji threw no less than one hundred spinning bladed tops at Zoro.

Zoro squinted through the cloud of dust and barely saw the tops coming. "That's it… TATSU… MAKI!"

 **SWISH-SWISH!**

Zoro spun around and swung all three of his swords through the air. He moved with such speed and power that he made all the dust swirl around him into a tornado.

 **KLAK-KLAK-KLAK!**

The spinning, bladed tops were deflected and knocked away from Zoro as he spun around and dispersed the fog by sending it up overhead.

"Heads up!" Sabo called out as a few wayward top whizzed at them.

 **WHA-WHAK!**

Sabo quickly swung his rifle and battled the bladed tops away from them.

Zoro finally stopped spinning after clearing away all the tops and the dust.

But Cabaji didn't give him a second to recover, "Acrobatics! All Natural Color Carnival!"

 **SWISH!**

Cabaji swung his sword back and forth in front of him and a multi-colored ribbon-like blast flew off of the blade at Zoro. Zoro quickly crossed two of his swords over his chest to defend but was still knocked on his back by the blast.

 **THUD!**

"I'm tired…" Zoro said from down on the ground.

"Tired?" Cabaji repeated as he wheeled over and smirked down at him. "Have you finally realized how outmatched you are? You may have a big reputation but you're no match for a member of the Buggy Pirates."

"No…" Zoro said, "What I'm tired of… ARE YOUR STUPID ACROBATICS!"

Zoro suddenly surged up off of the ground and smacked Cabaji with the side of his blade. The acrobat was knocked backwards, lost his balance and tumbled off of his unicycle.

"Let's get one thing straight," Zoro addressed his opponent, "My goal is to become the best. If I was to lose to a weakling like you then I might as well give up on my dream right now."

"Weakling? Why you!" Cabaji growled as he rose to his feet and picked up his sword, "I don't need any tricks to beat you! I'll finish you with real swordsmanship!"

Cabaji charged at Zoro but Zoro lunged towards him and swung all three of his swords.

"ONI GIRI!"

 **SLIKA-SLISH!**

Zoro stepped passed Cabaji, still completely unscathed. But Cabaji dropped to his knees as blood started to drip down out of the deep wounds that Zoro had made on his chest.

"How… how could we lose to these common thieves?" Cabaji gasped before he dropped to the ground.

"We're not thieves," Zoro said as he sheathed his swords. "We're pirates."

"Cabaji…" Buggy gasped in shock at seeing his last remaining lackey dispatched with ease.

"Hold on..." Zoro said as he headed back to Nami's cage, "His other leg... Heh! I finally got that stupid joke."

"Then can you explain it to me?" Luffy requested.

"I still beat mine faster," Sabo taunted Zoro.

"Maybe I wanted to see if he could actually do anything worthwhile," Zoro replied.

"So you deliberately wasted time," Sabo noted, "Then that means you know why you lost."

"I'LL CUT YOU DOWN IN HALF THAT TIME!" Zoro shouted at them.

"Hey, wait!" Luffy cut in as he jumped in between his crew, "One of you needs to explain the joke!"

Nami stared through the bars of her cage at the three pirates in shock. Sabo had beaten Mohji in less than a minute. Zoro had taken longer against Cabaji but had defeated the acrobat without getting a scratch on him. And then there was Luffy. The rubber monster had deflected a cannonball and sunk Buggy's ship like it was an accident.

Buggy and his crew were supposed to be some of the strongest pirates in the East Blue but these three freaks acted like total morons but they were beating them like they were just clowns at a circus.

"Just how strong are these guys?" Nami wondered.

* * *

I shook things up and fast-forwarded through the arc. Now all that's left is the fight between Luffy and Buggy which comes next chapter.

Silver signing off…


	7. Buggy

_**BROTHER ON BOARD**_

That's right I'm back. I went through a few major life changes over the last few months so I had to put the writing on the backburner while I got everything settled. Now that everything's stable again I think I can give this story some more attention. I've already got a couple chapters done which I'll start posting on a weekly basis.

A lot of people commented on Sabo's joke from the last chapter. It really wasn't meant to be anything special. It's just the pirate-version of the wooden-leg joke from Mary Poppins.

Thanks to MADMatt6, Johnny Spectre, dhampire712, Littlemisstraffy/lazy, Mikila94, sarahgri99 and Bluejay Blaze for your reviews on the last chapter.

* * *

 **Buggy-**

"Alright, Boogie, you're outnumbered so I'll make you a deal," Sabo offered, "You give us that key now and I promise Zoro and I will stay out of the way while you fight Luffy for the map."

"That's _Buggy_!" Buggy growled.

"Huh? What did I say?" Sabo asked.

"You called me Boogie! My name's Buggy!" Buggy insisted.

"Oh, right, sorry Baggy," Sabo insincerely apologized.

"BUGGY!" Buggy yelled.

"Oh, how 'bout Bossy!" Luffy suggested.

"NOO!" Buggy shouted.

"Boggle?" Sabo offered.

"Badguy?" Luffy added.

"MY NAME'S BUGGY!"

"Bozo?" Luffy asked.

"Bunchi?" Sabo said.

"Bitchy?" Zoro couldn't help chiming in.

"Oh, I know!" Luffy exclaimed, "BUFFOON!"

"RAAAAAHHHHH!" Buggy let out a scream of pure rage. "HERE! YOU WANT THIS KEY?" Buggy pulled the key to Nami's cage out from his coat. "WELL COME AND GET IT!" Buggy opened his mouth wide then dropped the key into his mouth.

 **GULP!**

"GAH!" Zoro yelped.

"He swallowed it!" Sabo exclaimed.

"WHY'D YOU IDIOTS HAVE TO PROVOKE HIM!?" Nami shouted.

"HEY! I NEEDED THAT!" Luffy yelled as he charged at Buggy, "COUGH IT UP NOW!" Luffy reached the clown Captain and lashed out at him.

 **SWISH!**

Buggy's body split in half at the waist and his upper body floated up over Luffy's attack. Luffy kept going and stumbled passed Buggy then crashed into a crate.

 **KRASH!**

"You've pissed off the wrong pirate, rubber boy!" Buggy exclaimed. "Bullets and cannonballs may bounce right off of you… but I bet knives will work just fine!"

 **Tomp!**

Buggy's lower half stomped his feet and two knives came out from the front of his shoes.

"CHOP CHOP… RICECRACKER!" Buggy's legs launched themselves at Luffy and spun around in the air which caused the two knives to whip around like buzzsaws.

"WAH!" Luffy yelped as he jumped out of the way.

Up overhead, Buggy pulled a knife out of his coat then shot his hand down at Luffy.

"CHOP CHOP CANNON!"

 **WHISH!**

"HEY!" Luffy exclaimed as he lunged to the side to avoid the attack. But Buggy's knife veered to the side and still managed to tear through the side of his vest. Luffy quickly jumped backwards to put distance between himself and Buggy's knife-wielding limbs.

"CHOP CHOP… REASSEMBLE!" Buggy's legs and hand were drawn back to him and rejoined his body as he landed on the ground. "Not so smug now, are you rubber boy? You and that straw hat… you remind me of _him_! That pesky red hair…"

"Red Hair?" Luffy repeated. "You know Shanks?"

* * *

Sabo looked back at Nami's cage, "You know… the thought occurs to me… we might not actually need the key to get her out of the cage."

"I hate to break it to you," Zoro said, "But those bars are way too thick to cut through."

"Silly swordsman," Sabo scoffed as loaded some bullets into his revolver-rifle, "I never said anything about cutting."

"Wait, what're you doing?" Nami asked.

"Getting you out of the cage," Sabo answered as he aimed his rifle at the padlock on the top right corner of the cage. "I'd move back if I were you…" Nami slid back into far corner of the cage.

 **KER-CHOW!**

Sabo fired his rifle and shot the lock dead on.

 **KER-CHOW!**

Sabo fired again and the lock bent from the impact of the two shots.

"Great," Zoro muttered, "You broke the lock. Now even if we do manage to get that key from the clown, it won't even work."

Sabo ignored him and fired again.

 **KER-CHOW!**

After three direct shots from the rifle, the cage's lock was now severely dented and damaged. Sabo grinned as he gripped the handle of his rifle with two hands, wound up and drove the barrel into the dented lock.

 **WHAM!**

The lock broke off of the cage and clattered to the ground.

Sabo smirked at Zoro, "That's another victory for Team SaBonnie."

"Yeah, well if your head gets too much bigger that top hat will never fit," Zoro retorted.

Sabo grunted as he lifted the heavy stone top off of Nami's cage. "There, you're free."

"About time," Nami said as she started to climb out. "Felt like I was in there for months."

"I'm sure you're just imagining things," Sabo replied. "Now say 'thank you, Bonnie'."

Nami rolled her eyes, "Thank you, Bonnie." Nami stepped out of the cage and immediately took charge. "Now let's get moving. This is the perfect chance to steal Buggy's treasure."

"Wait, that wasn't the plan," Sabo said.

"I'm changing it," Nami told him, "I need that money and I'll never get a better chance than this. Buggy's entire crew is unconscious and your Captain has Buggy distracted."

"But we had a deal," Sabo reminded her.

"And I'll still uphold my end," Nami agreed. "But I'm not leaving without that treasure. So you guys can either help me get it... or you can find someone else to get you to the Grand Line."

Nami rushed off and left Sabo and Zoro staring after her in surprise.

"Did we just get demoted to henchmen?" Zoro asked.

"I think so," Sabo replied.

"Maybe you shouldn't have let her out of that cage," Zoro said.

"Let's just go before Buggy starts throwing knives again," Sabo suggested, "We could always swipe some of their supplies and leftover booze."

Zoro grinned, "Now you're speaking my language."

Sabo and Zoro rushed after Nami who had slipped down into the pub through the roof entrance, "LUFFY! Have fun fighting your new friend! We're gonna get out of the way."

"Go ahead, I've got this!" Luffy assured them before he looked back at Buggy who had just finished recounting his history with Shanks. "So Shanks saved your life?"

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY AT ALL!" Buggy yelled at him. "Because of him my plan in life was delayed ten years! All because of that bastard Shanks!" He took a deep breath then stared hard at Luffy. "So… is that really Shank's hat?"

"Sure is," Luffy replied as he took his hat off and held it fondly, "I promised I'd give it back to him when I became a great pirate. This hat's my treasure."

"Treasure, you say?" Buggy repeated with an evil grin. "You mean you care a lot about it? You'd do anything for it?"

"Yup," Luffy happily answered.

"Well if it means that much to you…" Buggy said as he threw a knife at Luffy with his left hand, "YOU SHOULD TAKE BETTER CARE OF IT!"

 **SWISH!**

Luffy dodged the knife but Buggy's right hand flew in out of nowhere and stabbed straight through the straw hat while Luffy was still off balance using three knives between its fingers.

 **SLISH!**

Everything slowed down and Luffy stared in abject horror as Buggy's hand flew away with Shanks' skewered and torn straw hat. Luffy's memories of Shanks flashed before his eyes.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Luffy screamed.

"This piece of junk isn't treasure!" Buggy snapped as his hand reattached to his wrist and he sneered at Shanks' hat. "Treasure sparkles and makes its owner a King! The fact that it's Shanks' had makes it even worse than junk!" Buggy threw the hat down on the ground. "It's garbage!"

 **PTOI!**

Buggy spat on Shanks' hat then raised his foot and stomped on it.

 **TOMP!**

There was only so much that Luffy could take. This was his limit. "YOU BAAASTAAARD!" The angry rubber pirate charged across the roof at Buggy.

"CHOP CHOP… QUICK ESCAPE!" Buggy's head and body flew off of his legs to avoid the easily telegraphed attack. Buggy's lower body stayed planted on the ground and stuck one of it's legs out.

 **WHIP!**

Luffy tripped over Buggy's foot and tumbled passed his legs.

 **WHUMP!**

Luffy rolled across the roof and kept going until he hit the abandoned cannon. He finally staggered back up but was once again holding his hat.

Buggy sneered and threw three knives down at Luffy, "DIE FLASHILY!"

Luffy turned sideways and hugged his treasure to his chest.

 **SLASH!**

Buggy's knives raked clear across Luffy's arm and side before they dropped to the ground. But Luffy paid no mind to the blood that was now dripping from his arm and side as he smiled fondly at his hat.

"Oh good, it's safe," he sighed in relief.

"NOT FOR LONG!" Buggy shouted down at him from where his top half was still floating in the air overhead. "After what you and your idiot friends did to me and my crew… I'll tear that hat to shreds if it's the last thing I do! You punks thought you could get away with… stealing… my… treasure…"

Buggy trailed off as he stared down below him and watched as Sabo, Zoro and Nami climbed back out through the trapdoor in the roof. All three of them had a sack with them. Nami was hugging a bag of treasure to her chest. Zoro was drinking a bottle of grog that he'd gotten out of the large sack that dangled from his other arm. Sabo had Cabaji's sack of supplies slung over his shoulder along with his rifle.

"HOW DARE YOU!" Buggy shrieked. Knives speared in his hands as he rocketed down at the trio of thieves. "YOU DIRTY THIEVES! I'LL SKEWER EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!"

Sabo's eyes widened as the irate clown rushed down at them. He dropped his bag of supplies and held Bonnie Anne in front of him like a bat. "Luffy, you'd better do something! Otherwise Bonnie's gonna down a clown."

"Right," Luffy agreed as he noticed Buggy's abandoned legs. "Do something…"

 **PUNT!**

Buggy's body dropped to the ground five feet in front of Sabo, Zoro and Nami. The clown's mouth dropped open and he let out a shriek that none of them could hear.

* * *

In the middle of town, in front of a certain pet store, a certain dog started howling.

"Arooooo! Arrroooooo!"

"What's the matter Chouchou?" an old man with hair that looked like a poodle asked. "Do you hear something?"

"Arf! Arf! Bark-bark!"

The old man turned and stared in the direction the little dog was looking. "Oh, it looks like there's some kind of commotion going on over at the pub. What's that pirate bastard up to now?"

* * *

"My balls…" Buggy wheezed, "My Buggy balls…"

"Serves you right," Luffy growled he pulled his leg out from between Buggy's buckled legs. "Don't forget. You're still fighting me."

"YOU BASTARD! THAT WAS DIRTY!" Buggy shouted as he floated back up off the ground. "YOU ATTACKED MY LOWER HALF!"

"Dirty?" Luffy repeated. "I'm a pirate. I don't play by the rules."

"Why don't you just give up Buggy?" Sabo suggested. "Your crew's gone, we've got you outnumbered and we took all your stuff. Just give us the map and we'll leave."

"NEVER!" Buggy refused. "I'LL TAKE YOU ALL DOWN! CHOP CHOP… FESTIVAL!" Buggy's torso, arms and legs all suddenly split into slivers. "HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Buggy's body parts flew around the four pirates like a swarm of bugs.

"LET'S SEE YOU SAVE YOUR FRIENDS NOW, _GUM-GUM_!"

"Luffy…" Sabo warned Luffy again, "The clown seems insistent on getting us involved."

"I can't fight him when he's flying all over the place!" Luffy complained. But then he looked down and spotted two parts of Buggy that hadn't left the ground. His feet. "Oh! This'll work!" Luffy dashed forward and grabbed the two big clown shoes.

 **WHAM!**

"UUGGHH!" Buggy groaned as Luffy jammed his feet toes first down on the ground.

"Luffy needs a target," Sabo realized. He quickly yanked the treasure sack away from Nami. "Gimme that!"

"You bastard, that's mine!" Nami berated him.

Sabo ignored her and called up to the clown. "Hey Buggy! Is this what you wanted? I've got your treasure right here."

"DIE TOP HAT!" Buggy howled as his head and hands flew down at Sabo. His hands grabbed onto the sack and tried to pull it away from him. "Gimme back my treasure!"

"Your treasure?" Nami repeated, "I'm a thief that robs pirates and I just stole from one. That means that treasure's mine now!"

"It's still MY treasure!" Buggy snapped as he continued his tug-a-war over the treasure sack with Sabo. "Just because you steal something doesn't make it yours!"

"Oh so now the criminal's try to lecture the criminal," Nami scoffed. "That's ridiculous. I haven't stooped so low that I need to be corrected by pirates." The pirate thief then stuck her tongue out to add to her insult which caused Buggy to growl angrily. He was completely focused on her and on getting his treasure away from Sabo that he never saw Luffy's foot coming.

"GUM GUM… STAMP!

 **THWHOMP!**

Luffy's foot stretched over and slammed into Buggy's head and sent it plowing into the ground. The hard impact was felt through all of Buggy's pieces and they dropped to the ground as well.

"Nice kick Luffy," Sabo praised him.

"What's the big idea luring him in using _my_ treasure?" Nami complained.

"Why do you need all that money anyway?" Sabo wondered. "The people here have had to deal with Buggy driving them out of their homes and then using the town for target practice. They need that money."

"Well I need too!" Nami argued.

"How come?" Luffy asked.

"None of your business!" the thief snapped.

"Then I guess we could just leave the treasure here," Zoro suggested.

"Don't even think about it!" Nami snarled. "If you _must know_ I need to gather a hundred million berries so I can buy a certain village."

"Oh, alright then," Luffy agreed. Sabo nodded and tossed the sack back to Nami.

" **NO! It's not alright! It's MY treasure!"**

They all turned to see Buggy's head float back up off of the ground. "YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS! ASSEMBLE CHOP CHOP PARTS!" Buggy's body parts started to float back towards his head.

Nami looked down and spotted a length of rope poking out of Sabo's bag of supplies.

"HAHAHAHA… hahaha… ha… ha…" Buggy's laughing tapered off when he looked down at his body. All that had returned were his hands and feet.

"Hey Buggy, lose something?" Nami taunted as she held a rope. Everyone looked down to see Buggy's torso, arms and legs all tied together in a bundle of rope at the thief's feet.

"MY PARTS!" Buggy shrieked.

"Shishishi!" Luffy laughed as he stretched his arms out behind him. "Way to go, thief!"

"NO! WAIT!" Buggy yelped in alarm.

"So long Buggy! GUM GUM… BAZOOKA!" **KA-BAM!** Luffy's fists smashed into Buggy's face with the power of a bazooka and sent the body-less pirate flying off into the sky.

"Yeah! I win!" Luffy cheered as he raised his arm over the head.

Sabo squinted off after Buggy's body, "Yup. He's outta here. You got some good distance on that one Luffy. If he's lucky he'll land on the next island. If he isn't… he'll land in the water."

" **What did I just see?"** The quartet turned to see an old man come up through the trap door onto the pub roof. "Was that Buggy?"

"Yup," Luffy answered, "I just beat him up. Who're you old man?"

"I'm Boodle," the old man replied, "I'm the Mayor of this town."

"You're the Mayor of an empty town?" Zoro questioned.

"It wasn't empty when those pirates got here," the Mayor told him. "Since then everyone fled to a refugee shelter. I sneak back in here occasionally to feed a dog for a friend. Did you kids really beat Buggy and his crew?"

"Yup," Sabo stated as he fished the map out of Buggy's torso's coat pocket. "And this is the map that started it all."

"Who are you heroes?" Boodle asked. "How can I ever repay your for what you've done?"

"We're pirates!" Luffy proudly informed him.

"Don't tell him that!" Nami scolded him.

"We're the Straw Hat Pirates," Sabo clarified. "We came here because we heard that Buggy had this map to the Grand Line. But when we got here things got out of hand and we ended up sinking his ship, beating his crew, stealing all his stuff before Luffy sent him flying to the next island. By the way, do you mind if we take the treasure and other stuff that we got from Buggy?"

"You kids have already given me back my treasure," Mayor Boodle gushed. "This town means the world to me. You've done more for me than I could ever repay."

"Well, there you have it," Nami resolved as she happily hugged the sack of treasure to her chest. "My conscience is clear."

 **Grumble…**

Luffy looked down at his stomach. "Sabo… I'm hungry! Can we eat _now_?"

"You're hungry?" Boodle repeated. "Please, give me a moment to fetch the rest of the villagers and we'll prepare a feast for you brave heroes."

"Heroes?" Nami repeated. "Didn't your hear them say they're pirates?"

"This town was nearly destroyed by pirates but now it's been saved by them," Boodle admitted, "You've given me back my treasure. Now my people can finally return to their homes. I can never thank you enough for what you've done… so please… allow me and the others to celebrate your victory as a small measure of my gratitude."

"Well… I guess we could stick around," Sabo agreed. "I did promise Luffy that we could eat after we dealt with Buggy."

* * *

Later on, the Straw Hats and the people of Orange Town were celebrating downstairs in the Drinker's Pub. Buggy, Mohji and Cabaji were nowhere to be found but the rest of Buggy's crew had been apprehended for the villagers to turn over to the marines once the Straw Hats left.

The Straw Hats had brought everything they'd stolen from Buggy back to their ships. This included the booze that Zoro had taken but the villagers had surprised them by bringing a whole new supply of food and drinks with them from the refugee shelter.

"YEAAAH!" Luffy cheered as he stuffed a slab of meat in his mouth.

"Drink! Drink! Drink!" a crowd of villagers chanted as Zoro drank three men under the table.

"And then Buggy called out his lion tamer…" Sabo recounted as he sat at table with Bonnie on a chair on one side of him and a small dog on a chair on the other. An even bigger crowd than Zoro's surrounded him as he shared the tale of the Straw Hats' victory over the Buggy Pirates.

"What an amazing group of pirates!" a villager gushed to Nami as she drank her own mug of grog in the corner.

Nami smiled faintly as she stared across the room at Luffy, Sabo and Zoro. "I can honestly say that I've never met any pirates like them before."

* * *

So once again with Sabo on board the Straw Hats leave another town in good favor.

Silver signing off


	8. Usopp

_**BROTHER ON BOARD**_

Bluejay Blaze - Yup. He's back. But before we can get to Sanji's reaction to Sabo and his girlfriend, first we've gotta see Usopp's.

Johnny Spectre - Usopp's relationship with Sabo (and Bonnie) is going to be interesting. And yes, a lot of fun. I had a blast writing this arc.

dhampire712 - Thanks, good to be back. But it wasn't so much Sabo mocking Buggy as him being the one that started it. Then it became a team effort. Honestly, I think Luffy's 'nicknames' were the best ones.

Son of Whitebeard - Buggy's a lot of fun to write and lot of fun to piss off.

Guest - I'm detecting a bit of sarcasm here. But if you doubt my SaboxBonnie pairing wait until you see them in action next chapter.

Mikila94 - Yeah, sorry about the long break. But I'm back now with a lot more time to write. I don't know if SaBonnie is the 'official' ship name. But I liked how it included both of their names in their entirety.

* * *

 **Usopp-**

"YAY! YOU FIXED IT!" Luffy cheered as he happily held up his newly repaired straw hat. The Straw Hats had left Orange Town behind and had been sailing across the East Blue for two days in their two small skiffs. Luffy, Sabo and Zoro were in one while Nami had one to herself. The freshly-stolen skill still bared the black sail and Jolly Roger of Buggy the Clown. Just one more thing the Straw Hats had taken from him.

"I just sewed up the holes," Nami pointed out. "It's no big deal."

Luffy happily prodded at the top of the hat where the three holes had been. "There were huge holes here but now you can't even tell!"

"Just be careful with it," Nami warned him. But just as she said it Luffy's finger poked through her stitching and made another hole in the top of the hat. "YOU DON'T LISTEN!"

 **POKE!**

"OW! You stabbed me with the needle!"

"You're made of rubber," Nami defended herself, "It's the only way I could hurt you."

"That's true," Luffy admitted. Nami quickly stitched up the new hole that Luffy had made and he was soon hugging his hat to his chest again.

"That hat sure means a lot to you," Nami noted.

"Sure does," Luffy agreed, "A great pirate gave this to me after he saved my life. He told me to give it back to him when I become a great pirate too. That's when I vowed to become King of the Pirates."

"Well… be more careful with it for now on," Nami warned him.

"Right," Luffy said. He fished into a barrel and offered her an apple. "Here, you can have this apple."

Nami rolled her eyes but took the apple anyway.

"I've been meaning to say Luffy," Sabo chimed in, "Take it easy on those apples. At the rate you're going you'll end up eating all the food the shrub-in-the-box gave us."

"Who?" Zoro grunted as he drank some grog.

"The weird guy with bushy green afro that was stuck in that treasure chest," Sabo answered. Zoro still confused. "You mean you don't remember that? Well, that's what you get for sleeping through an adventure."

"Whatever," Zoro scoffed, "It couldn't have been that interesting. If it was important someone would've woken me up. By the way… are we going to be landing soon? I'm almost out of booze."

"IS THAT ALL YOU GUYS THINK ABOUT?" Nami demanded.

"Maybe," Sabo said, "I could use some more bullets for Bonnie. There wasn't any magnum ammunition in with the supplies that I took."

"Well the good news is we should be reaching the Gecko Islands in a couple hours," Nami said, "We can make land there and maybe restock on food, booze, bullets and other supplies."

"Yeah!" Luffy cheered as he ran to the front of his boat and stood at the bow, "A new adventure! This'll be great! Here we come!"

* * *

"PIRATES ARE COMING!" a teen with a long nose shouted as he ran through Syrup Village. "EVERYONE RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! PIRATES ARE ATTACKING!"

"SHUT UP, YOU LIAR!" an annoyed merchant yelled at him.

"There goes Usopp causing his morning ruckus," old man Mornin remarked. "I guess it's time for work."

* * *

"WE'RE HERE!" Luffy cheered as they stepped off their boats on the shore of one of the Gecko Islands. But before they could even collect themselves they were under fire.

 **CHEW-CHEW-CHEW!**

"WAAAH!" Luffy yelped as he danced around to avoid the incoming projectiles which bombarded the sand around his feet. Nami ran for cover by the boats while Zoro glared at the trees on the cliffs that ran along the pass island and loomed over the shore. "WHO'S SHOOTING AT ME?"

" **That was your only warning shot,"** Usopp called out as he emerged from the bushes at the edge of the right-side cliff. He held a green slingshot at his side. "I'm the Dreaded Captain Usopp and this island is under my protection! You pirates had better leave now while I'm still in a good mood. Otherwise, my army of eighty million men will crush you fools like bugs!"

 **SKISH! SKISH! SKISH!**

Pirate flags popped out of the bushes and shrubs at the top of the pass. It was worth noting that the flags only seemed to appear three-at-a-time. Soon two dozen flags were waving in the brush on all sides of the pass and made it look like there was an army hidden within.

"WHOA! EIGHTY MILLION!" Luffy exclaimed as he stared at all the flags in amazement. "AWESOME!"

Nami rolled her eyes and Zoro frowned and shook his head.

"I certainly don't want to fight an army of eighty million men," Sabo reasoned as he slung his rifle over his shoulder and turned around. "I guess we should just pull up anchor and go home."

" _He actually bought that?"_ Nami thought to herself.

" _That idiot actually bought that?"_ Zoro thought to himself.

" _EIGHTY MILLION!"_ Luffy thought to himself. _"SO COOL!"_

" _Wow! He actually bought that?"_ the three boys in the brush thought to themselves _._

" _HE ACTUALLY BOUGHT THAT!?"_ Usopp thought to himself.

 **KER-CHOW!**

Bonnie Anne went off and a bullet whizzed right over the top of Usopp's head and struck the tree behind him.

"But on the other hand," Sabo said, "Bonnie Anne seems to think you're full of crap."

"Bon… Ba… Bah…" the now terrified Usopp stammered as his legs started shaking.

"I actually agree with her," Nami admitted as she folded her arms over her chest and eyed the six waving flags. "Eighty million men? I doubt he's even got eight. My guess is three."

"SHE KNOWS!" the three boys shouted as they turned and ran away.

"Some loyal crew," Zoro scoffed.

"WHAT? HE WAS LYING!?" Luffy gasped in surprise.

"You idiots," Nami muttered and shook her head. "The only one of you with a working brain is the rifle." Nami knelt down and picked up one of the projectiles that Usopp had fired at Luffy. It was a round pachinko ball. "Hmm… I've never heard of a pirate using a slingshot before…"

"Don't mock me!" Usopp snapped. "I'm a proud warrior!" He readied his slingshot again.

"It's not safe to point guns," Luffy said as he tilted his straw hat forward to hide his eyes. "Now that you've drawn you weapon... are you willing to use it?"

"I can assure you, we're real pirates," Zoro stated. "Save yourself the trouble and give up."

Usopp's shaky legs finally gave out and he dropped to his knees. "Real pirate have way more punch behind their words… They can actually back them up!"

"Shishishishishi!" Luffy laughed. "I stole that. From 'Red Haired' Shanks."

"YOU KNOW RED HAIRED SHANKS?" Usopp exclaimed as his face lit up. "He's a really famous pirate!"

"Shishishishi!" Luffy laughed again. "You're funny. I like you."

* * *

"Wow, so you guys are real pirates?" Usopp exclaimed as he, Luffy, Sabo, Zoro and Nami occupied a table in a local restaurant. "And you're looking for crewmen and a bigger ship?"

"Yup," Luffy answered as he gnawed at a big slab of meat.

"You can't exactly call those little tubs we came here in actual pirate ships," Sabo pointed out as he sat with Bonnie Anne propped against the back of the booth next to him. "I got one after I saved a cruise ship from Iron Mace Alvida and Nami stole the other from Buggy the Clown."

"You guys stole from Buggy the Clown and actually lived to tell about it?" Usopp questioned.

"We didn't just steal from Buggy," Sabo told him, "We beat him, his crew, sunk his ship _and then_ we stole all his treasure, booze and supplies."

"Wow! Why'd you do all that?" Usopp asked, he was clearly enthralled by the pirate tale.

"He had a map we wanted," Sabo casually replied, "Plus he was terrorizing a town and destroying it with cannonballs. But it was mostly the map."

"Wow… real pirates are incredible!" Usopp gushed.

Luffy smiled. Usopp reminded him of when he used to listen to Shanks tell stories of his pirate adventures in Makino's tavern as a kid. Luffy cocked his head to the side. Actually… Usopp reminded him of one pirate on Shanks' crew in particular… OH NO! His plate was empty! "MORE MEAT!"

"So that's a pretty cool-looking rifle you've got there," Usopp remarked. "Lucky it missed. It nearly took my head off."

"Oh God here we go again," Nami complained while Zoro groaned into his mug of grog.

" _This_ is not just a rifle," Sabo insisted as he picked up Bonnie Anne and held her fondly. "Her name's Bonnie Anne and she's an Advanced Wheel-Lock Rifle with an added scope and custom revolving action. She's my partner and my girlfriend and if she wanted to take your head off… _she would have_."

"As you can see… he's nuts," Nami said with a roll of her eyes.

"Wow! Can I hold her?" Usopp requested. Nami promptly face-faulted.

Sabo's eyes narrowed. "That's a bold thing to ask someone you just met."

"Oh, right," Usopp said, "My apologies."

"Good grief there's two of them," Nami muttered.

Luffy looked at Usopp then over at Bonnie Anne. Then back at Usopp. Then back at Bonnie. Usopp… a gun… there was a connection here that he was missing.

"What?" Usopp asked defensively. "Some people name their weapons. If I had a super-cool custom weapon I'd name it too." Usopp pointed at Zoro. "I bet you named your swords."

"Well… this one's _Wado Ichimonji_ ," Zoro stated as he put down his drink and picked up his white sword. "It means 'the Straight Road to Peace'."

"Wow, cool!" Usopp gasped.

"Whoa, Zoro, I didn't know that!" Luffy seemed equally impressed.

"But I didn't name it that," Zoro added awkwardly.

"Still… I bet it means a lot to you," Usopp said.

"It does," Zoro admitted. "It represents my dream to be the best… A dream I once shared with a friend." Zoro immediately went back to drinking.

"But you didn't name the other two," Sabo pointed out. "That shows favoritism and a lack of commitment, sword- _hoarder_."

Zoro flipped him off. "Gun-freak." Then went back to drinking

"So…" Usopp said as he turned to Luffy, "If you're looking for a bigger crew then I'm your man. I can be the Captain."

"No thanks," Luffy refused.

"Don't-don't you at least want to think it over?" Usopp sputtered.

Luffy shook his head. "Nope. I'm Captain."

"Well… as you can see this is a small village," Usopp pointed out. "We don't really have any ships here."

"What about that big mansion at the edge of town?" Nami inquired. "Is there somebody there that could give us a ship?"

"Don't be ridiculous," Sabo scoffed, "Rich people don't like to share their money."

"You can't go there!" Usopp blurted out. Then he faltered. "Actually… I just remembered something that I have to do. It was great to meet you all. Take care… Luffy, Sabo, Bonnie, Zoro, Wado, Nami." Usopp gave a quick bow then promptly left.

Sabo turned to Luffy, "You know what?" he said. "I like him too."

"You would," Nami scoffed, "He actually supported your weird relationship with your gun."

"Oh, I see what this is about," Sabo realized. "You're jealous of Bonnie."

"WHAT?" Nami shrieked.

Sabo shook his head, "Look Nami, you're cute 'n' all but in my eyes, Bonnie will always be the prettiest girl in the room."

Nami froze. Then she went red. Then a large vein in her temple started to throb.

"Hey Nami, are you okay?" Luffy asked.

"Fine Luffy..." Nami said as she started to massage her temple. "I'm just gradually being driven INSANE by three BONE-HEADED NUMBSKULLS!"

* * *

Usopp peered around the corner at two guards that stood outside the front gate of the mansion that was on the edge of town. He quickly slipped around the side of the huge house and pulled a square section of the shrubs out from their bed.

"Pardon the intrusion…" Usopp whispered as he slipped through hole onto the grounds.

* * *

The Straw Hats had just finished their meal and were about to leave the restaurant went three boys suddenly burst in through the door.

"USOPP'S PIRATES ARE HERE TO SAVE THE DAY!"

"What do you make of this?" Zoro asked as the three boys rushed their table.

"What'd you do with Captain Usopp?" The first boy demanded. He had short green hair but long sideburns and a head that was shaped like a bell pepper.

"Give him back to us!" the second boy ordered. He had shaggy pale purple hair and an orange bandana tied around his carrot-shaped head.

"What'd you do with him?" the third boy echoed. He wore glasses and short brown hair with a head that was shaped like an onion.

Luffy completely ignored the boys and patted his swelled belly. "That meat was great!"

"Don't tell me they…" the boys whimpered.

"You must be the three kids that ran off earlier," Sabo noted, "If you're looking for your Captain, I'm afraid you just missed him."

"Guess you shouldn't have abandoned him," Zoro added with a menacing grin, **"We ate him!"**

"AAAAAHHH!" the three boys screamed in terror. Their gazes locked at the scariest person at the table. "THEY'RE HAGS!"

"WHAT'RE YOU LOOKING AT _ME_ FOR?" Nami berated them. The three terrified wanna-be pirates couldn't take much more and fainted.

"SHISHISHISHISHI!" Luffy laughed, "That was funny! You're great with kids, Zoro!"

"Idiots," Nami complained. "You just had to say something stupid."

Eventually the three kids woke up and introduced themselves as Pepper, Carrot and Onion. Sabo took it upon himself to clear up the matter that they weren't cannibalistic hags.

"Then he just said 'I just remembered something I have to do' and left," Sabo concluded.

"Oh, then he must have gone to the mansion," Carrot-head realized.

"Why would he go there?" Nami asked curiously.

"To tell lies!" Pepper-head proudly answered.

"And… that's a good thing?" Sabo asked.

"Yeah, it's great!" Onion insisted.

"You see…" Carrot started to explained, "The girl… Kaya… She's been weak and depressed ever since her parents died a year ago. Even though she has lots of money she's really sad."

"So Captain Usopp goes to her house and tells his special made-up stories to make her laugh," Pepper concluded. "Cause our Captain's the best at telling lies."

"Oh, so he _is_ great," Luffy noted.

"I like our Captain's meddling side," Carrot said.

"I like his bossy side," Pepper told them.

"I like his exaggerating side," Onion added.

"We like him too," Sabo admitted.

"So that's helped her feel better?" Nami asked.

"Yeah, a lot better," Carrot replied.

"Great! Then let's ask her for a ship!" Luffy exclaimed.

"If she's just a lonely sick girl and not a rich snob then maybe she _could_ help us," Sabo reasoned. He stood up and slipped Bonnie Anne onto his back with her seldom-used strap then adjusted his top hat. "Alright crew, Quartermaster Sabo's on the job."

* * *

"Hey you! Give us a ship!" Luffy called out.

The Straw Hats and Usopp's pint-sized pirate crew stood outside the front gate of the mansion. The guards were notably absent.

"There's no one here Luffy," Sabo pointed out.

"Then let's go in," Luffy decided. He grabbed the top of the fence and stretched backwards.

"AAAH! MONSTER!" the three boys screamed.

"Luffy! You can't just barge in there!" Sabo scolded him. Everyone grabbed onto Luffy to hold him back.

 **WOING!**

But they all ended up going flying up into the air thanks to the rubber pirate.

* * *

"Intruders?" a butler in a fancy black suit with gold trim repeated. He had neatly combed black hair and wore a round pair of glasses. "Where are the guards?"

"I'm afraid they're on their lunch break," another butler with fuzzy white hair and round ears that made him look like a sheep.

"No matter," the first butler said as he reached up and adjusted his glasses using the palm of his hand. "I'll handle this myself."

* * *

"And so we escaped into the sky atop a giant pachinko ball!" Usopp exclaimed as he sat on a tree branch outside Kaya's bedroom window.

Kaya smiled but then her eyes widened in surprise as she spotted something falling out of the sky behind Usopp. "What's that?"

"YAAHOO!" Luffy cheered as they plummeted down into the yard.

 **KRASH!**

"That worked great!" Luffy mumbled from where he was face-down on the ground.

"Did not!" Nami snapped at him as she pushed herself up onto her knees.

Zoro was sprawled on his back with his swords scattered around him. Pepper, Carrot and Onion had landed in a bush. And Sabo… had casually landed on his feet.

"How'd you manage to stick the landing?" Nami asked as she glared up at him in annoyance.

"Years of experience," Sabo replied.

"A-are you alright?" Kaya asked in concern.

"They'll be fine," Sabo assured her as he grabbed the back of Luffy's vest and hauled him up off of the ground.

"See? Yeah, they're okay!" Usopp chimed in. "They're new recruits who heard all about me and came from afar to join the Usopp Pirates."

"Not quite Usopp," Sabo said as planted Luffy on his feet then turned to face the window. "We're actually here in the hopes of speaking with _you_ , Miss Kaya. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance." In one graceful movement Sabo swept his top hat off and bent forward in a bow. "Sorry to drop in on you like this but there were no guards at the gate and I'm afraid that my Captain here got a bit overzealous."

"Sorry about that!" Luffy chimed in with a wave.

Nami blinked as she stared at Sabo in surprise. "Where'd that come from? The rifle-freak's acting classy."

Luffy looked back at Nami and grinned, "Sabo says he's got 'charisma', whatever that is."

"What can I do for you?" Kaya asked curiously.

"First, I believe introductions are in order," Sabo said. "My name's Sabo and I am the Quartermaster of the Straw Hat Pirates. Yes, we're real pirates. Beside me, is my Captain and younger brother Monkey D. Luffy.

"Hiya Kaya!" Luffy called out and waved.

"Brothers..." Zoro repeated. "Right..." Nami shrugged.

Sabo motioned back behind him, "Those other two are Nami, our navigator, and Zoro – a jobless lay-about that drinks all our booze." Zoro twitched and glared at him. "Anyway, we came here because we were hoping…"

" **What is the meaning of this?"** The Straw Hats turned to see Kaya's butler approaching.

"Klahadore…" Kaya gasped. Usopp started to slink away from the window and around the tree.

"I don't appreciate you breaking in here without permission," Klahadore stated as he reached up and adjusted his glasses with the palm of his hand.

"Actually, Klahadore, these people are pirates and…" Kaya started to explained.

"That can wait for now," Klahadore said, "I can hear all about your reasons later. Now leave, all of you. Or do you have something to say?"

"Well, actually, we want a ship!" Luffy replied.

"No!" Klahadore refused as he adjusted his glasses again.

"Idiot!" Zoro scolded Luffy as he whacked him on the back of the head.

"I must insist that you all leave this property," Klahadore said, "That includes you _Usopp_."

Usopp had been in the process of climbing down the tree but at the sound of his name he froze.

"I've heard all about you," Klahadore addressed the liar as he climbed back up onto his branch. "You're quite well-known in the village. I hear you've been on many an adventure. That's quite impressive for someone so young."

"You can call me 'Captain Usopp' too if you'd like," Usopp offered.

"Captain, huh?" Klahadore questioned as he adjusted his glasses.

" **I know you from somewhere."**

Klahadore froze and slowly turned to stare at Sabo. "What?"

"The funny thing is… this is actually my first time off my island," Sabo admitted, "I haven't even been a pirate for a full week. But I could swear that I've seen your face somewhere before."

"You must be imagining things," Klahadore rebuffed him. "All of you must leave this property at once. I won't have pirates near this house. _Or the son of one_."

"Don't worry, we're the good kind of pirates," Sabo reassured him. "We fight other pirates and save innocent people. Just ask anyone in Orange Town back on Organ Island and they'll happily tell you how we drove Buggy the Clown and his crew out of their town. Before that, we saved Shells Town from the corrupt Captain Morgan."

"Did you say Morgan?" Klahadore inquired.

"Yeah, why?" Sabo asked.

"No reason," the butler quickly replied as he adjusted his glasses with his palm.

"Anyway, before that I saved a cruise ship for Iron Mace Alvida," Sabo concluded. "We've only been sailing for a week and we're already done a lot of good deeds and helped a lot of people. Taking down pirates is what we do. If there were any pirates mucking around over here, we'd take them down too."

"Yeah, I'd deck 'em in the shnoz!" Luffy exclaimed as he punched his hand.

"Riiight," Klahadore drawled as he once again adjusted his glasses. "I think-"

Sabo cut him off and continued his pitch, "We're planning on heading to the Grand Line to do more but in order to survive in that ocean we'll need a sturdy ship."

Kaya opened her mouth to reply but Klahadore spoke before she could.

"I think we've heard enough."

"Sorry Jeeves but I wasn't actually talking to you," Sabo informed him with a smug smirk, "I'm here to speak to the Lady of the House. Not the help." The butler bristled in annoyance.

"She's just a girl!" Klahadore insisted, "I'm her guardian."

"She'll be a woman soon," Sabo pointed out. "When she comes of age she'll be in charge of her estate and finances. I think this is a good opportunity to start doing that by investing in a noble cause."

Nami leaned over to Zoro, "He really takes this Quartermaster-thing seriously."

"Maybe I _couldn't_ do his job," Zoro confessed.

"Hey guys, I like to whisper too!" Luffy chimed in as he leaned in on Zoro's other side.

Zoro and Nami gave him a hard stare. "I can see why _our Captain_ would need him."

"Miss Kaya, I don't trust these pirates," Klahadore insisted, "They're no doubt trying to swindle you out of your fortune."

"I'd be willing to sign an official contract," Sabo offered, "All I'm asking for is a small investment. Think of it as a loan." Sabo pointed over his shoulder at Zoro. "That moss-ball over there is Pirate Hunter Roronoa Zoro. He's a really famous bounty hunter here in the East Blue. The next time we take down a big name pirate we'll use him to cash in the bounty and with that we can pay you back for you loan. Buggy the Clown was worth fifteen million berries. If we encounter another pirate like him we'll have you paid back in no time."

"Maybe the next pirate we beat will be worth SIXTEEN million berries!" Luffy suggested.

Klahadore adjusted his glasses again.

"Now, if this a trust issue," Sabo continued, "I'd be willing to work a clause into our contract that says we'll take a trusted friend of yours onto our crew to act as your representative until we pay you back. He'd ensure that our undertakings are noble and genuine."

"A trusted friend?" Kaya repeated. She looked over at Usopp. "Usopp, you're a brave pirate that's been on many adventures. Would you be my representative?"

"Mah-me?" Usopp stammered.

"Yeah, Usopp!" Luffy exclaimed, "We like you! Join our crew!"

"Wubba?" Usopp croaked in surprise.

"But I'm still Captain," Luffy quickly insisted.

"I… well… _sure_ Kaya," Usopp agreed. "If it's for you, I'll happily join them. After-all, I'm a Brave Warrior of the Sea!"

"Miss Kaya, I must insist that you stop this foolishness," Klahadore interjected. "Pirates are the low-lives of the seas. They'll lie, steal and even kill for treasure. You can't believe a word they say. They're obviously after your fortune."

"Technically, we are," Sabo admitted. "We're poor pirates that are just starting out on our journey to shake the world. That perception of pirates is exactly what we set out to change. With your aid our pirate crew could become known as the heroes of the seas."

"There's no such thing as a good pirate," Klahadore persisted. "They're all the same filthy scum that will destroy or abandon anything at the drop of a hat in order to sate their lust for treasure. The world government dubs them criminals for a reason. They've also been known to dub anyone that associates with pirates as criminals as well. Don't fall for this ruse Miss Kaya. Aiding pirates would destroy the reputation that your late father worked so hard to cultivate."

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you had a personal vendetta against pirates," Sabo stated.

"My sole desire is to protect my lady," Klahadore assured him. "And that includes preventing her from making the mistake of associating with filthy criminal low-lives like yourselves. And like Usopp's father."

Usopp stiffened. "My father?"

"I've heard the talk in the village," Klahadore told him, "You're father abandoned his family and his village all for his lust for treasure. I'd normally feel sorry for you if it wasn't clear that you were following in his footsteps."

"AH!" Usopp gasped.

"Klahadore! That's going too far!" Kaya protested. "Apologize to Usopp!"

"What reason is there to apologize to this savage man, my lady?" Klahadore asked "I'm only speaking the truth."

"You're not speaking the truth, you're only speculating," Sabo accused him. "I've only been on this island for an hour and I can tell you that Usopp's harmless. He comes here to make your Mistress feel better. If you truly care about Miss Kaya's welfare you'd _invite_ Usopp to the property since his presence here clearly puts her in much better spirits."

"I'm sure that's exactly what you'd want too," Klahadore countered, "You'd want us to open up this estate and leave ourselves vulnerable to your depraved pirate tendencies. I wouldn't be surprised if Usopp was working with you the whole time. You had him get close to Miss Kaya so you can gain access to her fortune. Like father, like son."

"DON'T YOU INSULT MY FATHER ANY MORE!" Usopp snapped. He jumped from the tree and used a grappling hook to land safely on the ground.

"What are you getting unnecessarily riled up for?" Klahadore asked. "Why not simply tell another your special lies at a time like this? How about your father was really a traveling salesman? Or how you're not really related by blood?"

"THAT'S IT!" Usopp shouted as he finally lashed out at the butler.

 **POW!**

Usopp fist struck Klahadore's face and knocked him on his back.

"USOPP!" Kaya gasped in shock.

"Captain!" Usopp's crew gasped.

"You see? He immediately resorts to violence," Klahadore pointed out as he held his face where Usopp had hit him. "Like father like son."

"I'll admit it," Usopp confessed, "Maybe I exaggerate some of my stories. But one thing that I'll never lie about is the fact that I'm the son of a pirate! My father was a great man! I _want to_ be like him some day!"

"You see, Miss Kaya?" Klahadore asked, "He clings to his pirate heritage like it's something worth boasting about." Klahadore held his face as he stood up. "Pirates are the lowlives of the seas and I won't allow my lady to come to harm because of her association with you or your pirate friends. You and Miss Kaya are from completely different worlds. If money is truly all that you're after, how much will it take for you to leave her alone?"

"Klahadore!" Kaya scolded her butler.

"Why you!" Usopp growled as he lunged at Klahadore again. But Sabo caught the back of his overalls and held him back.

"Not worth it," Sabo advised him. But Usopp continued to struggle.

"Usopp, stop!" Kaya called out. Usopp froze and looked back at her. "No more violence."

The fight instantly left Usopp.

"I'm sorry on Klahadore's behalf," Kaya apologized, "He's not a bad person. He just going too far in order to do what he thinks is best for me."

"You and your pirate friends are no longer welcome here!" Klahadore insisted. "Leave this property and never return."

Usopp looked back at Kaya in her window then glared at Klahadore. "Fine," he agreed. "I'll go. This is the last time you'll see me around here." Usopp stalked off angrily.

"Wait Usopp!" Luffy called out as he chased after him.

"Miss Kaya, I apologize that things came to this," Sabo addressed the girl. "It appears as though our business has concluded. But my offer still stands. Even if you don't take it, my advice is that you learn to make your own decisions. Don't allow yourself to be limited because your closed-minded jerk of a butler does everything for you."

Klahadore silently stared at Sabo as he adjusted his glasses with his palm.

Sabo gave a short bow then headed for the front gate. Usopp's loyal crew followed filed out after him but now before spitting their own insults at Klahadore.

"Yeah, jerk!" Pepper sneered.

"Dummy!" Carrot added.

"Jerk-face!" Onion snapped, "The Captain's a great guy!"

Nami followed after the kids and couldn't help chiming in herself, "Ass."

Zoro brought up the rear and insulted the butler since everyone else was doing it, "Prick."

Klahadore stared after the three pirates and three kids as they left the properly. One of his hands curled into a fist at his side while he used the palm of his other hand to adjust his glasses.

* * *

I ended up writing Klahadore's glasses-adjusting as a nervous tick. Every time he does it, he's fighting the urge to kill. Go back and re-read the last scene with that in mind and it'll make the somewhat-serious scene a bit funnier.

Silver signing off


	9. Kuro

_**BROTHER ON BOARD**_

Bluejay Blaze - I actually do have an official position in mind for Zoro. But the position requires a ship. So Sabo won't be able to decide Zoro's actual job until they receive the Going Merry.

Mikila94 - It's a rivalry. Similar to Zoro and Sanji's. Sabo and Zoro have different ways of doing things and they're constantly out to prove which way is better. Gun or sword. They will of course take any chance they get to make a jab at the other. In a lot of fanfics I've seen OCs join the Straw Hats and instantly be at odds with Sanji since they have Nami or Robin as a love interest. Since Sabo is already 'spoken for' I was able to turn that cliche on its head and make Zoro the rival instead. Does this mean that Sabo will get along with Sanji? You'll see next arc.

Johnny Spectre - Perhaps some of Sabo's childhood noble-training helped shape that "outlook". Luffy mentioned last chapter, Sabo brings the "charisma" to the crew. Sabo added enhancing the crew's public image to his list of duties as Quartermaster. Slowly but surely its starting to pay off.

Fairy of the Friz - Careful! Bonnie might get jealous. I'd suggest investing in some kevlar just in case. This chapter you'll get to see Sabo slip from pirate to ass-kicker.

dhampire712 - Kuro did adjust his glasses a lot in the original but it seemed to be at random intervals. I changed it a bit to make it so when Kuro adjusts his glasses he's resisting the urge to kill whoever is in front of him. Like when Luffy mentioned that he'd deck any pirates lurking around in the shnoz or that he was looking to take down a pirate with a bounty of sixteen million berries. I'm trying to play up the humor in this story so I thought that might've helped in a semi-serious scene.

* * *

 **Kuro-**

"So what's this about you and Luffy being brothers?" Zoro asked. He was leaning against a fence at the edge of Syrup Village, Nami was sitting on it and Sabo was sitting against the fence in between the two with Bonnie Anne propped on his shoulder. Pepper and Carrot were leaning on the fence on the other side of Nami. "You mentioned it when we first met but you're nothing alike."

"That doesn't change the fact that Luffy's still my younger brother," Sabo responded. "We shared a sake cup to make it official. We've actually got a third brother Ace. He set sail a couple years before us. I knew I was going to set sail with one of my brothers and while I'm closer with Ace since I've known him longer, I figured that Luffy would need my help more."

"But you're not actually related," Zoro pointed out.

"Why should that matter?" Nami interjected. "You don't have to be related to be family."

Sabo looked up at her and squinted. "You've got a sibling?"

"Older sister," Nami answered. "We were both adopted by the same incredible woman." Nami's expression turned wistful and that was enough to tell Sabo that the foster mother was no longer alive.

"Anyway, I'd rather consider Luffy 'n' Ace my family than my _actual_ family," Sabo admitted, "The fact that those stuffy twats think I'm dead is the best thing to ever happen to me."

"So…" Nami said in an effort to change the suddenly-awkward subject, "Where'd Luffy and Usopp go?"

"The beach," Pepper answered, "The Captain always goes there when he's upset."

"Want to go?" Carrot offered.

"Nah," Sabo replied, "They'll be fine."

"Aren't you guys missing someone?" Nami asked as she glanced over at Carrot and Pepper.

"Oh yeah, Onion," Carrot confirmed.

"He always disappears," Pepper explained, "Then he comes running back screaming."

" **IT'S HORRIBLE! WE'RE ALL IN DANGER! I SAW A STRANGE BACKWARDS MAN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"**

"I guess that's him," Sabo noted as Onion ran up to them.

"There's a strange man coming this way!" Onion exclaimed. "And he's walking backwards!"

"You liar," Carrot and Pepper scolded him.

"It's true!" Onion insisted. "Look!"

Sure enough, a man with a long blue coat and a wide brimmed blue hat was moonwalking down the road towards them. He had a face that looked like Steve Tyler's with a mushroom stalk beard on his chin and wore heart-shaped sunglasses.

"Who called me strange?" the strange man asked once he got closer. "I'm not strange."

"You look crazy," Nami remarked.

"Don't be silly," the strange man said. "I'm just a traveling hypnotist."

"Wow, a hypnotist!" Onion exclaimed.

"Show us a trick!" Pepper pleaded.

"Yeah, show us!" Carrot urged him.

"Why would I demonstrate my hypnotic powers to a bunch of random strangers on the side of a road?"

Sabo raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, you convinced me!" the Hypnotist announced. He pulled out a small metal ring on a chain. "Now watch this ring."

"So you _are_ going to perform?" Zoro asked as he stared at the easily persuaded and now even stranger hypnotist.

"When I say 'One, Two, Jango' you'll fall asleep," the hypnotist instructed as he swung the ring back and forth in front of him. "Ready? ONE… TWO… JANGO!"

"Zzzzz…"

"Now that's _really_ strange," Zoro admitted as he stared at Pepper, Carrot and Onion all sound asleep in the middle of the road… ALONG WITH THE HYPNOTIST.

" **Zzzzzz…"** Zoro and Nami looked down and found Sabo fast asleep against the fence with Bonnie Anne propped on his shoulder.

Sabo took another deep breath and Bonnie Anne slid sideways off of his shoulder and fell into his lap which caused the rifle to go off.

 **KER-CHOW!**

Sabo's eyes snapped open. "Wha? I'm up! What happened?"

"Idiot," Nami scoffed.

"Hey! He fell asleep too!" Sabo protested as he pointed at the sleeping EXTREMELY strange hypnotist. "That's stranger."

* * *

" **Yasopp's your father, right?"**

Usopp jumped in surprise as he stood on a cliff overlooking the sea then looked back at Luffy.

"Don't sneak up on me!" Usopp scolded him. "How'd you know that?"

"I knew him," Luffy told him. "He was a member of my favorite pirate crew. I remember now. He was a great shot. I don't ever remember seeing him miss. If you're half as good a shot as he is then I _definitely_ want you to join my crew. Ship or no ship. Yasopp was a great pirate. And if you're like him then you'll make a great pirate too."

"A great pirate," Usopp repeated as he looked back out at the ocean. "I've always looked up to my father. He set sail and lives every day with his life on the line. He's a Brave Warrior of the Sea. My greatest dream is to be a brave warrior like him. But then that butler had to insult him and crush my pirate pride."

"I hate the guy too," Luffy admitted. "Are you ever going to go and see that girl again?"

"Maybe is that butler apologizes and begs me to come back," Usopp replied. "Then I'll consider it."

"Oh, good, 'cause there he is," Luffy asked as he pointed down at the beach below their cliff.

Usopp looked down and his eyes bugged out in alarm as he spotted Klahadore on the beach with a strange man in a blue coat. "What's he doing down there? And who's that guy he's with?"

"Jango, what did I tell you about keeping a low profile?" Klahadore scolded the other man. "You were spotted sleeping in the middle of town."

"I'm not standing out," Jango the Hypnotist insisted. "I'm not strange."

"Who's that strange guy that's with him?" Luffy asked Usopp.

"I've never seen him before," Usopp admitted, "But he really stands out. That makes him suspicious."

"Have you made the necessary preparations?" Klahadore asked as he adjusted his glasses with his palm.

"Yes, sir," Jango confirmed. "Operation Murder Miss Kaya is ready to go at any time."

Up overhead, Usopp's eyes widened in shock and his blood ran cold.

"Don't say 'murder'," Klahadore reprimanded him, "It sounds too sinister."

"Right, sorry," Jango apologized, "It's 'accident', the _accident_ is ready to go as planned, Captain Kuro."

"Kuro…" Usopp whispered in horror. This was getting worse and worse.

* * *

"Hey look it's the Captain!" Onion pointed out. The Straw Hat Pirates and the Usopp Pirates looked down the road and saw Usopp sprinting towards them like the hounds of hell were chasing him.

"Luffy's not with him," Sabo noted.

"Do you think he's still upset?" Nami asked.

 **WOOOSH!**

Usopp raced passed them without a word or a backward glance.

"Yes, I think he's still upset," Sabo said. "But it's not about what the butler said at the house." Sabo stood up and brushed his coat off. "I think something might've happened down at the beach."

"That was where that strange hypnotist headed after we woke up," Pepper realized.

"I think we need you to show us this beach after-all," Zoro decided.

* * *

"Huh, I thought I was on top of the cliff," Luffy remarked once the Straw Hats and Usopp's crew woke him up down at the beach.

"Luffy… try to remember… what happened?" Sabo instructed.

"Well… that strange guy waved his ring-thing and I fell asleep," Luffy recalled.

"And before that?" Sabo asked patiently.

"Usopp got really scared," Luffy said, "OH! The jerk-face butler is evil! He wants to kill that girl! Usopp said he's a pirate called… uh… Kurgle…"

"Kuro?" Sabo supplied.

"Yeah, that's it," Luffy said.

"I knew I recognized that butler," Sabo boasted. "Captain Morgan had his wanted poster framed on his office wall back in Shells Town. That's the pirate that he supposedly arrested and executed. It's kind of funny, Morgan claimed that he rose to his rank with his own merit but he didn't actually do the thing that he's famous for. Typical Marines."

"So who's Kuro?" Zoro asked.

"A hypocrite," Sabo answered. "That butler is exactly the awful kind of pirate that he accused us of being. He faked his death and now he's after Kaya's money."

"So that's what Usopp was doing," Nami commented, "He was running to warn everyone about the pirate attack. That's great. They'll be able to evacuate and no one will be hurt. "

"Um… there's just one problem with that," Carrot pointed out.

"The Captain runs through town screaming about pirate attacks _every morning_ ," Pepper told them.

"Damn," Sabo cursed. "No one's going to believe him."

* * *

" _Why won't anyone believe me?"_ Usopp cried to himself as he fled Kaya's house with a mob of angry villagers chasing him. He clutched the gunshot wound on his arm and kept running. This had gone from bad to worse. All his lying had finally caught up to him. His neighbors didn't believe him even though he _was_ telling the truth. Even _Kaya_ refused to believe him. He's gotten shot trying to help her escape! Everyone thought that Klahadore was a kind, upstanding citizen when we was the evil pirate that was planning to get all of them killed! "They'll attack the village at dawn…"

" **Captain!"**

Usopp looked up and spotted his crew. And the Straw Hats. All four of them.

"YOU! You're alive! I thought you fell off a cliff?"

"Yeah, I must've dozed off," Luffy admitted.

"Captain what's going on?" Pepper asked. "We heard about the pirates."

"Pirates?" Usopp repeated. They were just kids. Kuro's pirate crew would gut them without a second thought. "Don't be silly! The pirates were a lie! Like usual."

"But the Straw Hat guy said that the butler was evil and trying to kill Kaya," Carrot insisted.

"I'm a liar, remember?" Usopp countered. "I told a lie to get back at that butler for insulting my father."

"Usopp… you might be a liar… but Luffy isn't," Sabo stated. "The pirates really are coming."

Usopp hung his head. "Yeah… they really are…" he confessed. "The pirates are attacking at dawn… but no one will believe me." Usopp started sobbing, "I spent so much time telling lies that no one on this island will believe me when I'm actually telling the truth."

"We believe you," Luffy told him.

"So do we Captain!" Onion exclaimed.

"You're gonna fight the pirates, right?" Pepper asked. "We'll fight with you, Captain!"

"Yeah!" Carrot added, "The Usopp Pirates aren't afraid of anything!"

"You guys!" Usopp gasped. It was such a relief to know that at least _someone_ trusted him. But he couldn't lead those kids to their death… They looked up to him. "No… you can't fight them."

"Actually, I think I have a very special mission for you three," Sabo announced. "The pirates are after Kaya… you three need to guard her house and make sure she stays safe. If you see the evil butler, stay away from him. If he leaves the house… let him. DO NOT confront him. Your job is to guard Kaya and get her to safety if things go to hell. The last thing on your minds should be confronting a pirate. So if you hear _ANYTHING_ that sounds like an angry hoard of pirates charging through town, you three need to grab Kaya and get her out of there."

"I… right!" Usopp chimed in, "This is your most important mission Usopp's Pirates. Can I count on you?"

"Yeah, Captain!"

"You can count on us!"

"We'll keep Kaya safe!"

"Good, I'm glad I could count on you guys," Usopp replied. "You're dismissed."

The three boys ran off and Usopp was left alone with the Straw Hats as the sun started to set.

"So the truth is…" Nami summarized, "The butler really is a pirate and his crew really is going to attack the town at dawn."

"Yeah," Usopp admitted. "They're coming. And everyone thinks that tomorrow will just be a normal day. So that means it's up to me to face those pirates and fight them off! Then… I'll have a real adventure to tell stories about. I may be a liar… but this last epic adventure will be _a true story_! They can shoot me and chase me but this village is my home. I HAVE TO PROTECT MY NEIGHBORS! I don't have much time to plan… BUT I REFUSE TO STAND BY AND LET EVERYONE BE KILLED!"

"Oh gee, if only you knew a heroic band of pirates that would be willing to help you out," Sabo drawled. "Where could you ever find some people like that? Take a look. They may be closer than you think."

Usopp turned to the Straw Hats. "You guys… you'd really help me?"

"Hey Luffy, Kuro's old bounty used to be sixteen million berries," Sabo informed his brother.

"Oh! That's what we said at the house!" Luffy realized. "In that case, I'll deck 'im in the shnoz!"

"Heh," Zoro chuckled as he eyed Usopp. "You've got 'I'm terrified' written all over your face."

"Of course I'm scared!" Usopp snapped, "They're the Kuro Pirates! I don't need your sympathy!"

"I'm not sympathizing with you," Zoro said, "I'm commending you for having courage." Zoro looked over at Luffy and Sabo. "I guess I like him too."

"Here we go again," Nami groaned, "I want to make one thing perfectly clear. The treasure is _all mine_!"

Usopp stared at the Straw Hats and wiped tears from his eyes, "You guys…"

* * *

A crescent moon was hanging overhead as Usopp and the Straw Hats stood at the top of a pass.

"They're going to attack from this shore," Usopp announced, "This slope is the only way into the village. Everything else is just sheer cliffs. So as long as we defend this pass with our lives the village won't be harmed."

"Sounds easy!" Luffy remarked.

"Well it's easier said than done," Usopp reminded him. "What are you guys good at?"

"Slicing," Zoro answered.

"Stretching," Luffy said.

"Stealing," Nami replied.

"Shooting," Sabo added.

"Running and hiding," Usopp admitted.

"You've gotta fight too!" the Straw Hats scolded him.

* * *

"Where is Miss Kaya now, Merry?" Klahadore asked once he returned the mansion.

"She's already in bed," the sheep-headed butler named Merry answered. "Today's excitement was too much for her."

"And to think all this happened while I was in the other town," Klahadore remarked. "That Usopp is such a troublemaker."

"Yes, would you believe that he actually accused you of being a pirate?" Merry asked. "It's not even a good lie."

"Yes…" Klahadore said as he adjusted his glasses with his palm. Then he spotted a box. "What's this?"

"Oh, that's a present from Miss Kaya," Merry informed him, "She said that tomorrow will be exactly three years since you came to this estate. She says it's an anniversary."

"An anniversary?" Klahadore repeated as he opened the box to reveal a new pair of glasses.

"It's a new pair of glasses," Merry merrily informed him. "Miss Kaya noticed how yours are always slipping so she had me personally order these for you from the next town. She's such and kind and generous person."

Klahadore didn't bother putting on the new glasses. He just tossed the box aside and adjusted his old ones with his palm as he turned out the window. "Oh tomorrow will be a very special night indeed. It's a crescent moon tonight. Night's like these make me truly feel alive." Klahadore drove his foot down on the new set of glasses.

 **KRUSH!**

"Klahadore!" Merry exclaimed. "Why did you destroy Miss Kaya's gift?"

"Oh, I'll accept a gift from her alright," Captain Kuro said as he slowly turned to face Merry. "And I'll accept nothing less than her entire estate."

"Wha-what?" Merry gasped in alarm.

"There's no need to continue this act," Kuro decided, "Because in just a couple of hours this village will be overtaken by pirates. I've been waiting for this for three years!"

"MISS KAYA! YOU MUST—"

 **SLA-SLISH!**

Merry's bloody body hit the floor and Kuro took a small amount of pleasure in knowing that he was no longer the one that had to clean up the mess.

* * *

"This is perfect!" Usopp boasted as they stood on top of the pass. It was nearly dawn and the pirates were on their way. "There's no way they'll get up the slope now. Not with all the oil on it. So here's the plan! When the pirates charge up the pass they'll slip and slide on the oil. That's when we'll hit them. No matter what happens we have to hold this pass!"

"We just have to be careful not slip on it ourselves," Nami said, "Only an idiot would get caught In their own trap."

"Wow… you sure came up with a slick plan," Luffy commented as he slid his foot along the top of the oil-coated pass.

"That was terrible Luffy," Sabo scolded him.

"Like your joke was any better," Zoro remarked.

Usopp puffed out his chest as he boasted, "There's no one better than me when it comes to crafty ideas and a slingshot!"

"It's dawn," Zoro pointed out as the sun rose on the horizon. "Here they come."

* * *

"Hurry up!" Pepper urged the other two boys.

"I can't believe we almost overslept," Carrot complained. The three boys were armed with a shovel, a bat and a frying pan as they rushed to Kaya's mansion.

"Do you think the Captain will be okay?" Onion asked.

"He had those other pirates with him," Pepper reminded him, "I'm sure they'll keep him safe."

* * *

"LAND HO, BOYS!" Jango called out as the Black Cat Pirates' ship the Bezan Black pulled up to the shore.

"Captain! There's two boats anchored nearby," one of the two dozen cat-themed pirates pointed out as he motioned to the Straw Hats' boats.

"Ignore 'em," Jango ordered. "We've gotta follow Captain Kuro's plan. Attack the village! We'll sort out everything else afterwards!"

"YAAAAAHH!" the Black Cat Pirates cheered as they lowered the gangplanks and charged off the ship.

* * *

"Where are they?" Usopp wondered as they stared at the shore. There was no pirate ship in sight.

"Did they oversleep?" Zoro asked.

"Hold on… I hear something," Nami announced she cupped her hands over her ears. "I hear yelling somewhere north of us…"

"NORTH!?" Usopp yelped.

"What's the matter?" Sabo questioned.

"There's another pass like this one north of here," Usopp admitted.

"YOU MEAN WE'RE ON THE WRONG BEACH!?" Luffy shouted.

"This was where the butler had his secret meeting," Usopp reminded him, "I guess I just assumed that they'd attack from this shore."

"WAIT! _OUR SHIPS_ ARE ON THE NORTH SHORE!" Nami realized. "THEY'LL TAKE MY TREASURE!"

"We've gotta get there before they reach the town!" Luffy exclaimed. "Which way do we go?"

"If we run straight north we should get there in three minutes," Usopp answered. "There's a pass exactly like this one. Hopefully we can stop them before they make their way up it."

"Three minutes… I'll be there in twenty seconds!" Luffy growled as he charged off.

"LUFFY WAIT!" Sabo called out as he chased after him. "That's not north! You're going the wrong way!" He stopped and stared through the trees. "Damn it, he's gone."

Usopp bolted passed him and Sabo turned around in time to see Nami come running into the woods.

"Where's the sword-hoarder?"

"He slipped on the oil. I had to leave him behind."

"What a moron," Sabo muttered. Nami rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. "This is already going to hell. Look, I'm gonna go help Usopp. I need you to find Luffy and bring him along. He ran off that way with no clue where he's going."

"I can't abandon my treasure!" Nami exclaimed.

"Do you actually _want to_ fight off a hoard of vicious pirates?" Sabo asked.

"Not really," Nami admitted.

"You're our navigator," Sabo reminded her, "Find Luffy and navigate him to the pass. I'll help Usopp fight off the pirates until you guys arrive."

"Right," Nami agreed before they split it. She turned and shouted after him. "Don't let them lay one hand on my treasure!"

* * *

"I… I'm the first one here…" Usopp gasped in horror as he stared down at the swarm of twenty-five vicious cat-themed pirates at the bottom of the pass. The Straw Hats were nowhere in sight.

"Oh it's you," One Two Jango the acting captain of the Black Cat Pirates realized. "You're the one that overhead our plan."

" _I guess I'm on my own…"_ Usopp realized. He took a deep breath and shouted at the Black Cat Pirates. "I'M WARNING YOU NOW! TURN BACK AND LEAVE THIS ISLAND! I'VE GOT AN ARMY OF ONE HUNDRED MILLION MEN WAITING TO KILL YOU BASTARDS!"

"Only an idiot would fall for that," one of the Black Cat Pirates scoffed.

"WHAT? ONE HUNDRED MILLION!?" the idiot Captain cried out in alarm. "THAT'S TOO MANY!"

"Captain… he's lying!"

"WHY YOU!" Jango shouted. "YOU'LL PAY FOR TRICKING ME!"

"Captain you won't believe it!"

"What now?" Jango asked.

"We investigated those two boats and we found treasure! There's over ten million berries there!"

" _Ten million!?"_ Usopp repeated. _"That must be all the treasure they stole from Buggy the Clown."_

"THAT'S MY TREASURE!" Usopp announced. "And I'll let you have it! All you've gotta do is leave now!"

"Is he actually trying to bribe us? The nerve of that guy!"

"Of course we'll take the treasure," Jango announced, "But why would we have to leave? What's to stop us from killing you and taking it anyway?"

"Uh… good point," Usopp admitted.

"I've had enough of you," Jango growled. He held up his metal hypnotic ring. "Look at this ring! When I say 'One Two Jango' you'll stand aside and let us pass! ONE… TWO… JAN"

 **KER-CHOW!**

"OOOOWWWW!" Jango howled as he held his bloody hand.

Usopp looked back and saw Sabo holding a smoking Bonnie Anne. "Sorry I'm late," he apologized. "But don't look at that ring. He'll hypnotize you with it."

"You're here!" Usopp exclaimed. "Where's everybody else?"

"Zoro got caught in our oil slick trap like an idiot and Luffy got lost," Sabo reported, "I sent Nami to find him but for now it's just the two of us."

"But… there's one, two, three... TWENTY-FIVE pirates down there!" Usopp pointed out.

"Yeah, they should've brought more," Sabo remarked. He stepped passed Usopp and called out to the Black Cat Pirates. "HEY! Black Cat Pirates! I've been instructed not to let you lay a hand on that treasure. I suggest that you pull up anchor and leave now. Otherwise, I'll gun you down."

"YOU BASTARD! YOU SHOT MY HAND!" Jango yelled as he held his bleeding hand. Two fingers were missing. "MEN, KILL THEM BOTH!"

"ARRROOOOO!" the Black Cat Pirates howled as they charged up the pass.

"SCATTER BLAST!"

 **KER-CHOW!**

The front five pirates were blasted backwards and crashed into the others behind them causing the hoard to go tumbling back down the pass.

"Usopp, cover me while I reload!" Sabo ordered as he cracked Bonnie Anne opened and pulled out a handful of bullets from his coat.

"Right," Usopp agreed. "I just remembered that I've got some caltrops." Usopp reached into his arsenal bag and pulled out two handfuls of caltrops that he'd custom made by twisting two screws together. "TAKE THIS! CALTROP HELL!" Usopp threw the caltrops down the path ahead of them just as the pirates were making another charge.

"YEEEOOOW!" the pirates howled as their feet were pierced by the nails. Some of the more blood thirty pirates pressed on anyway. But that was when Sabo snapped his rifle closed.

"OVERWATCH!"

 **KER-CHOW!**

The lead pirate dropped and caused another pirate to trip over him.

"DOUBLE TAP!"

 **KER-CHOW!**

Another pirate dropped.

DOUBLE TAP!"

 **KER-CHOW!**

A fat pirate was hit but didn't Fall.

"BURST FIRE!"

 **KER-CHOW!**

The fat pirate dropped.

"OVERWATCH!"

 **KER-CHOW!**

Another charging pirate was gunned down.

"DOUBLE TAP!"

 **KER-CHOW!**

A dozen pirates had charged through Usopp's caltrops. In the span of ten seconds they had all either been gunned down by Sabo or tripped over their fallen comrades.

"I… I think you might've killed some of those guys!" Usopp gasped.

"At times like this I don't really think of them as people," Sabo said. "They're vicious animals that are out to kill innocent people. So I put them down. They made the choice to become pirates and attack a peaceful village. Now they're suffering the consequences. I'm not gonna apologize or feel guilty for saving innocent people from being slaughtered."

"I'm just glad you're on my side," Usopp admitted as he readied his slingshot, "Quick, reload! I'll hold 'em off! SPECIAL ATTACK: LEAD STAR!"

 **CHEW-CHEW-CHEW-CHEW!**

Another batch of pirates went tumbling back down the pass.

* * *

"WHICH WAY IS NORTH!?" Luffy screamed as he stood by a fence outside of Syrup Village.

"LUFFY! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Nami yelled as she ran up to him then hunched over to catch her breath.

"Usopp said the pirates were north," Luffy said, "So I ran in the direction that felt coldest."

"IDIOT! THAT'S NO WAY TO TELL DIRECTION!" Nami scolded him.

" **NAMI! THERE YOU ARE!"**

Nami spun around and saw an angry Zoro.

"What the hell were you thinking leaving me in that muck?"

"I… It was either one of us slip or both of us," Nami defended her actions.

"THEN _YOU_ SHOULD'VE STAYED STUCK!"

"What are you even doing here?" Nami asked.

"Usopp said the pirates were north of us," Zoro said, "So I ran in the direction that felt coldest."

"See?" Luffy said as he proudly motioned to Zoro.

Nami stared incredulously at Luffy and Zoro, "HOW DO YOU IDIOTS EVEN FUNCTION!?"

* * *

"Those idiots… they're late," Kuro growled as he sat on the front steps of the mansion. "They should all remember what the penalty is for ruining my plans." Kuro stood up and picked up a long bag that was sitting beside him. "I'll kill them all."

"Look… it's that evil butler!" Pepper pointed out as he, Carrot and Onion hid around the corner and watched Kuro leave through the front gate.

"Where's he going?" Carrot wondered.

"Maybe the beach?" Onion suggested.

"Should we warn the Captain?" carrot asked.

"No," Pepper decided. "Top Hat told that our mission was to guard Miss Kaya. We've just gotta hope that the Captain and those other guys'll be okay."

* * *

"Usopp… I've got good news and bad news." Sabo reported, "The good news is that we've managed to cut their numbers in half. The ones that I put down aren't going to be getting up anytime soon."

"What's the bad news?" Usopp asked nervously.

"I'm running out of bullets," Sabo admitted. "I was running low when we landed on your island. Only two dozen. I got so caught up in everything that I never got a chance to restock. Now I'm down to nine."

"ONLY—"

Sabo slapped his hand over Usopp's mouth, "Don't shout that. They don't know how many I have and that scares them."

"Captain! What do we do?" a Black Cat Pirates asked Jango. "They've got the high ground. The guy with the rifle keeps mowing us down! We've lost five men, five more are critically injured while another four managed to get away with only minor injuries. I don't think we'll survive another rush at the pass!"

"Did you stop to think what Captain Kuro will do to us if we don't make it to the village?" Jango retorted. "He'll murder us all! Do you want to chance fighting a guy that _may_ kill you or do you want to retreat and piss off a guy who _will_ kill you?"

The Black Cat Pirates stiffened. All of them were clearly terrified of Captain Kuro. "Right… Alright boys! This is it! One last charge! Let's get 'em!"

"ARRROOOOO!"

"Here they come," Sabo prompted, "Ready?"

"Ready," Usopp answered.

"SCATTER BLAST!"

"SPECIAL ATTACK: GUNPOWDER STAR!"

 **KER-CHOW!**

 **KA-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM!**

Fourteen pirates charged up the hill. Ten pirates went rolling back down it. Four managed to press on and raced at the two gunmen.

Sabo ran forward to meet them and swung his rifle like a bat. "KNOCK BACK!"

 **WHAM!**

The four pirates went flying back down the hill.

"AND THEY'RE OUTTA HERE!" Sabo cheered as the four pirates crashed to the ground around Jango.

The Hypnotist surveyed his fallen crew then stared up at Sabo in shock, "WHO THE HECK IS THIS GUY!?"

" **SABO! WHAT DID YOU DO?"**

Sabo and Usopp turned around to see Luffy, Zoro and Nami come out of the woods.

"Oh, there you guys are," Sabo noted, "You took too long and we had to fight them all ourselves."

"But… there's none left!" Luffy complained.

"There's that guy," Usopp said as he pointed down the hill at Jango.

"Eh?" the hypnotist said intelligently as he stared up at the three newcomers, "Who're these guys?"

"Oh, right, he's that hypno-guy!" Luffy realized. "I'll get him!" Luffy pulled back his fist and let it fly. "GUM… GUM… PISTOL!"

Luffy's arm stretched all the way down the pass and his fist slugged a shocked Jango in the face.

 **POW!**

Jango went flying backwards and slammed into the front of the Bezan Black.

 **Whap!**

Luffy's still extended hand grabbed Jango's collar and he used his hold to yank himself down the pass. "GUM… GUM… SICKLE!"

Luffy stuck out his arm as he slammed into Jango and smashed him through the hull of the Bezan Black.

 **WHAM!**

The Cat figurehead on the bow of the Bezan Black appeared to be bowing before it broke off and crashed to the ground.

 **KRESH!**

Luffy pulled himself out of the wreckage and stood up. "Does this mean we win?"

"Koff! Koff!" Jango wheezed as he fell out of the front of the ship and dropped to the sand. "What kind of monsters does the Captain have us facing?" He held up a large chakram with his good hand and waved it in front of Luffy, "Hey you! Look at this ring! When I say 'One Two Jango' you'll fall asleep. One! Two! Jango!"

 **ZZZZZZZZZ…**

Both Luffy and Jango dropped to the ground fast asleep.

"Well… that happened," Sabo remarked.

Usopp stared in wide-eyed shock at the fallen Black Cat Pirates, their sleeping leader and their damaged pirate ship. "Did… did we win?"

" **Hey! Something's wrong with the bow!"** a voice on the ship rang out.

" **It's been destroyed! What's going on down there?"**

" **The Captain and the others… It looks like someone beat 'em up!"**

"Why'd you have to say that, Usopp?" Sabo asked. "You jinxed us."

"There are still pirates on the ship," Nami realized, "Who are they? Some kind of secret weapon?"

"I don't care who they are," Zoro stated as he tied on his bandana. "They're _mine_."

* * *

Kuro stalked through the still sleeping Syrup Village holding his bag at his side.

"I'll kill them," Kuro growled to himself, "Every last one of them…"

* * *

So far the Nyaban Brother's had been an utter disappointment. Sham and Buchi had taken one look at Zoro standing ahead of them on the pass and nearly wet their pants.

"I don't wanna fight that guy! Too scary!"

"Yeah! He looks way too mean!"

Zoro stared at his cowardly opponents in annoyance. Sabo, Nami and Usopp sat at the top of the pass. The Nyabans were the only Black Cat Pirates left so they had been relegated to spectators. The only 'casualty' they had suffered was Luffy who was still asleep with Jango by the Black Cat Pirates' ship.

"We're only the ship guards. We're not supposed to actually fight people."

"But everyone else is outta commission… we have to…"

Eventually Sham was 'nominated' to fight Zoro first. The skinny green-haired man's legs shook as he nervously made his way up the pass towards Zoro.

"Just great," Zoro muttered, "The gun-nut gets to have all the fun and I'm stuck fighting these pussies." He drew one of his swords and called out to Sham as he approached. "I'm not gonna let you pass. But if you turn around, gather up your fallen friends and leave this island, I won't gut you."

 **"Just try it!"** Sham suddenly sneered. He lunged at Zoro with his clawed gauntlets bared.

Zoro's eyes widened in surprise and he managed to get his sword up in time to block Sham's claws.

 **KLANG!**

"You shouldn't have let your guard down!" Sham taunted. "I was only pretending to be a scaredy-cat!"

"UGH!" Zoro grunted and shoved the cat-man away from him.

"ZORO! YOUR SWORDS!" Nami called out.

Zoro looked down at his sash. His other two katana were gone. Zoro looked up and spotted his lost swords… on Sham's back. "Okay… joke's over. Gimme back my swords."

"What's the matter?" Sham asked. "Isn't one sword enough?" Sham took the swords off his back… then tossed them away. "I don't need this junk weighing me down while I fight."

Zoro's eyes narrowed as he watched his swords sail down the pass. One of them was _Wado Ichimonji_. "You shouldn't treat other people's katana's with such disrespect!" He voice was deadly calm, emphasis on the deadly.

Sham lunged at Zoro and Zoro swung his lone sword.

 **SLISH!**

Zoro's blade tore Sham's shirt as it slashed across his stomach and he dropped to the ground.

"You shouldn't have touched my swords," Zoro scolded him before he turned and raced after his wayward weapons.

"ZORO! LOOK OUT!" Nami shouted.

 **WHOMP!**

Sham landed on Zoro's back and drove him down to the ground.

"Did you actually think you cut me?" Sham mocked him. "I've got a cat's waistline, you fool!"

"That guy's really thin," Usopp realized, "There was no stomach under his shirt where Zoro cut him."

"That's what he gets for letting his guard down," Sabo remarked.

"YOU'RE UP BUCHI!" Sham called out to his fat brother as he pinned Zoro to the ground.

"Here goes!" Buchi called out as he ran forward. "CAT-A-PULT CAT-ASTROPHE!" Buchi launched himself up into the air then plummeted down towards Zoro,

"Rugh!" Zoro grunted as he used brute strength to push both himself and Sham out of the way.

 **KROOOM!**

Buchi hit the ground and the rocky pass cracked under him.

"WHOA! HE'S STRONG!" Usopp exclaimed.

"I've gotta be more careful," Zoro realized, "I would've been squished if that had hit me."

"Almost had 'im," Buchi complained.

"Sorry, that guy's freakishly strong," Sham apologized.

"But he won't be able to beat us together," Buchi pointed out.

 _"Crap, I'm out of practice using only one sword,"_ Zoro thought to himself, _"But I'll have to make due."_

"GRAND MARCH OF THE PUSSY WILLOWS!" Both Nyabans lashed out with their clawed gloves.

Zoro frantically swung his lone sword in a desperate attempt to deflect the flesh-cleaving strikes.

 **KLAK-KLAK-KLAK!**

"Zoro's losing ground!" Nami pointed out at the top of the hill. "We've gotta do something."

"Right," Usopp agreed as he drew his slingshot and aimed it at Zoro.

"Don't Usopp," Sabo warned him. "Zoro called this fight. He'd be pissed if we interfered."

"So you'd just sit here and let him get mauled?" Nami accused him.

"Look, it's a matter of pride," Sabo told her. "Zoro's got those two distracted. I could easily use two of my three remaining bullets and gun them down right here. But Zoro would never forgive me. He started this fight alone and he's gonna finish it alone, even if that means it'll end with him being torn to shreds."

"Wow… so that's what a Brave Warrior of the Sea looks like," Usopp gasped, "He'd rather die than lose his pride by asking for help in a fight…"

"Well if you two idiots aren't going to do anything then I will!" Nami insisted as she stood up.

 _"You're_ going to fight the cats?" Sabo asked skeptically.

"Don't be ridiculous!" Nami scolded him. "I'm gonna steal back his swords." She ran off down the path.

"I guess that would count as helping without interfering," Sabo reasoned.

 **KLAK-KLAK-KLAK!**

Zoro continued to frantically block and parry the flurry of claw strikes from the Nyaban Brothers. At this point he was so focused on keeping up his defense that he couldn't even attempt an attack. He was so focused that he barely noticed Nami as she passed him down the slope.

But all of a sudden, everything stopped. The Nyaban Brother's staggered back from Zoro and stared up the pass in horror.

Sabo and Usopp spun around and found Captain Kuro standing behind them at the top of the pass.

"It's long passed dawn," Kuro pointed out. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!? JANGO!"

 **"WHUH!"** The hypnotist yelped at the sound of his former Captain's voice and finally woke up. "Oh crap, I dozed off!" He looked up the pass and started shaking at the sight of Captain Kuro. "Uh… uh… Captain! We… we hit a little snag!"

"I came to see what had prevented you from carrying out my plan," Kuro said, "AND I FIND YOU NAPPING ON THE JOB! IS THIS REALLY WHAT THE BLACK CAT PIRATES HAVE BEEN REDUCED TO?"

"I… uh… but _you said_ it would be okay if he let the long nose go!" Jango reminded him.

"I did say that," Kuro admitted, "And I was right. Any fool could have predicted that he'd try to stop you. I didn't think that the Black Cat Pirates… COULD BE STOPPED BY A BUNCH OF KIDS!"

"Who do you think you are!?" Sham suddenly sneered. "You can't boss us around like you used to!"

"Yeah, you're not our Captain anymore!" Buchi added.

"Sham! Buchi! No!" Jango yelled in a panic as the two Nyaban Brother's completely bypassed Zoro and stalked up the pass towards Kuro.

Sabo caught Usopp's eye and the two of them moved out of the way so the two Nyaban Brothers could continue to confront their former boss.

"I hear that you've been sitting pretty in a fancy pants mansion these last three years!" Sham sneered.

"But we've never stopped fighting!" Buchi snapped. "We've won battles and sunk ships!"

"…" Kuro stared silently at his rebellious former-henchmen and adjusted his glasses with his palm.

"You've gotten soft, EX-Captain!" Sham exclaimed.

"WE DON'T HAVETA LISTEN TO YOU NO MORE!" Buchi shouted.

As one, the two Nyabans lunged at Kuro.

 **SLISH!**

Their claws shredded the bag that Kuro had been holding but only the bag. He was no longer standing in the spot where he had once been. The shredded bag dropped to the ground and fell open to reveal that it was empty.

 **"You're right,"** Kuro's voice came from behind them as he rested his palms on their shoulders. The Nyaban Brothers went stiff when they saw Kuro's hands were now adorned by clawed gloves of his own. Only Kuro's claws were each as long as a katana blade. **"I'm not your Captain anymore…"**

"So fast!" Usopp gasped.

"I didn't even see him move!" Sabo admitted.

"That was one of Captain Kuro's 'Stealth Foot' Maneuvers," Jango said. "He moves so fast that it looks like he's teleporting. His enemies never knew what hit them."

"But I did hire you to carry out a specific task," Kuro continued, "And now I find myself disappointed that you couldn't seem to hold up your end of the agreement."

"He hasn't gotten soft at all," Jango continued to praise the former Captain. "I noticed it when I saw him yesterday. The way he'd adjusted his glasses with his palm. Like a cat licks its paw to avoid cutting its face. That proves that he's still Captain Kuro at heart. He still hasn't forgotten how to kill."

"Maybe you were right, though," Kuro announced, "These last three years _have_ softened my heart. I'll give you fools one last chance to make things right. You have five minutes. If you can't finish them off within that time limit… I'll slaughter every last one of you."

"R-right, Captain!" Sham stammered.

"Any-anything you say!" Buchi agreed.

"ZORO!" Nami suddenly shouted.

 **THWAK!**

Zoro spun around in time to see his two lost swords come sailing towards him.

"You _kicked_ my swords!?" Zoro exclaimed indignantly.

"What? No thank you?" Nami teased him.

 **Whap!**

"Thanks," Zoro said as he caught his swords and quickly drew them as he spun back around. He was whole once again. "Alright, you pussies! Let's try this again!"

"So what? You've got three swords now," Sham taunted him.

"That won't help you!" Buchi insisted. "We won't even need five minutes to beat you!"

"You idiots," Zoro scoffed as he readied his three blades. "There's a difference between wielding three swords and using three-sword-style."

"GRAND MARCH OF THE PUSSY WILLOWS!" The Nyaban charged for another barraged of claw-strikes.

"TORA GARI!" Zoro rushed to meet them and slashed all three swords as he slipped between them.

 **SLIKA-SLICE!**

"Eh?" Sham and Buchi grunted as they froze in place with their claws still extended.

 **PLURT!**

Wounds burst opened on their chests and they dropped to the ground.

"Now there's just two left," Zoro resolved as he glanced back at Jango then up at Kuro.

"Four minutes left," Kuro stated at the top of the pass. "Then I kill everyone here."

* * *

I know that the Straw Hats have a strong no-killing policy. But guns kill. A strong person could survive a gunshot as long as it doesn't hit vital organs and a skilled marksman could probably hit someone in a place that wouldn't kill them. But if you're faced with a charging hoard of pirates that are looking to kill you and the town-full of innocent people that you're trying to defend, I doubt you'd feel like putting in the effort of inflicting only minor wounds. Not all of the pirates that Sabo shot are dead but they are injured enough that its keeping them out of the fight.

Silver signing off


	10. Kaya

_**BROTHER ON BOARD**_

Sarahgri99 - I think Sabo's presence on the crew and giving Usopp another 'shooter' to look up to, fight beside and sometimes hide behind is really going to benefit him in the long run. Hanging around Sabo and Bonnie could give Usopp that extra boost of confidence that he needs.

dancingjadedragon - I can't take much credit for that. But at least Luffy 'the Rubber Man' is advocating safe sex.

Fairy the Friz - No kid-friendly cork guns, water pistols, or shock bullets in this story. Sabo may come across as goofy when he calls his rifle is girlfriend but that doesn't change the fact that she's still a deadly weapon. Sabo's got an edge to him. But I think that should have been clear the moment he said his dream was to 'take down the Celestial Dragons'. As for Sabo's relationship with the other Straw Hats, I'm actually a couple chapters ahead and I've already written a few great scenes with Usopp and Sanji's reactions to Sabo and his 'relationship' with his rifle.

lostdog200 - I'm glad I made your morning. That's what I'm out to do with this story, spread some joy with the magic of One Piece combined with my own interesting additions. As for your question, Sabo _is_ going to help Luffy to try and save Ace but he isn't going to Amazon Lily. That's going to stay a solo mission for Luffy. By the time I get to that point in this story, things are going to be a lot different so it won't happen in the same way as it did in canon.

dhampire712 & SoiSoi - You both brought up a really important point that I want to address here. Who is the main character: Luffy or Sabo?

In my eyes, One Piece is and always will be about Luffy journey to become King of the Pirates. My story won't change that. However, over the near two decades that the series have spanned certain patterns concerning Luffy have emerged that I'm keeping intact. 1. Luffy doesn't care about details. His noble heroic instincts will bring him to the strongest enemy of the opposing group so he can deliver a much-needed beatdown. And afterwards, he'll leave without any major concern for the mess that he's left in his wake. 2. Something almost always happens to detain Luffy until everyone else is done with their fights. Those patterns are what caused the brunt of the focus to go to Sabo in the last two chapters.

Sabo knows Luffy's strengths and weaknesses. In chapter 8, he knew that Luffy didn't have the attention span, patience or people skills to properly negotiate for a ship so he stepped up and did it for him. In chapter 9, Luffy got lost and was put to sleep by Jango - that's canon Luffy-detainment. While Luffy was detained, Sabo and Usopp took out the nameless grunts and Zoro fought the Nyabans with assistance from Nami. In this chapter, Luffy's gonna be back for the final fight with Kuro.

Keep in mind, this story is about the changes to the series that Sabo's presence on the crew causes. So that's where the focus is going to be. And because we've all seen/read the canon story so many times those changes are what our attention will be naturally drawn to. Luffy is still going to be Luffy. He's still the Captain and the face of the crew, he's still going to ignore the details, beat up the big baddie and leave the ensuing mess for someone else (usually Sabo) to clean up. If I skip one of Luffy or the other Straw Hats' scenes it's because we've all seen/read those scenes a dozen times. I'll keep in the parts that are important to the plot but I don't want to waste anyone's time by just rewriting a canon scene that we all already know by heart.

* * *

 **Kaya-**

" _How dare you mock me! This'll teach you to underestimate the son of a pirate!"_

"USOPP DON'T!" Kaya woke with a scream and shivered. "KOFF! KOFF!" The nightmare had taken its toll on her already weakened condition. Now she was panting, sweating and coughing. "I don't understand why Usopp would say something like that…"

Kaya shakily slipped out of her bed and found a coat which she draped over her shoulders before she padded out of her room. She made her way down the silent hallway in search of her trusted caretaker and butler. She stopped at the door to his quarters.

 **Knock-knock!**

"Klahadore? Are you there?"

But there was no answer. It was just passed dawn and the big house was silent.

Kaya twisted the knob and let herself in but then recoiled in horror at the sight that greeted her.

"MERRY!"

* * *

"UUGHH! CAPTAIN!" Buchi pushed himself up off of the ground and called out to Jango. "Please! HYPNOTIZE ME!"

"He's still alive!" Usopp realized.

"Damn," Zoro cursed, "All that blubber must've saved him."

 **KER-CHOW!**

Buchi dropped back to the ground and went silent.

"You're getting sloppy sword-swinger," Sabo taunted as he casually walked up behind Zoro and lowered Bonnie Anne. "I had to fix your mistake so it didn't become a big mess."

"You ass-hat, I could've taken him!" Zoro insisted.

"How unfortunate for you Jango," Kuro remarked. "It looks like those were your last two men. Perhaps you'd like me to kill you now and save you any more trouble."

"I can still fix this!" Jango assured him. He lunged to the side and suddenly grabbed Nami.

Nami started to struggle but went still when the hypnotist held his chakrum to her throat. Zoro readied his swords and Sabo raised his rifle.

"Hold on!" Jango called out. "No sudden moves swordsman, rifle-guy! Lower your weapons or I'll use this to slice her throat!" Sabo and Zoro shared a look then complied and lowered their weapons. "Now! Look at this ring! When I say 'One, Two, Jango' you two will charge up the pass and kill long nose! Then, you'll make your way to the village and start roughing up the villagers. ONE! TWO! JANGO!"

Usopp froze as his two new friends turned to face him. Their eyes were blank. Both were clearly in a hypnotic trance.

"Kill… long nose…" Sabo and Zoro intoned as they started to stalk up the path.

"Not bad Jango," Kuro remarked. Now Usopp would be killed and when the two Straw Hats attacked the town they would be blamed for everything.

Usopp's legs started shaking. Kuro was behind him so there was no escaping as his hypnotized friends advanced on him with the intent to kill.

* * *

"Do you think the Captain's okay?" Onion asked as he, Pepper and Onion sat against a bush outside Kaya's mansion.

"Those other guys seemed strong," Carrot replied. He stifled a yawn. "But there're still only five of them. And they're going up against an entire pirate crew... and that strange hypnotist… and the evil butler."

"Did you guys notice that the guards never showed up?" Pepper asked as he looked away from the gate. "It's early but they're usually here by now."

"Maybe they're on vacation," Carrot suggested.

"The entire mansion looks like it's on vacation," Onion admitted.

The three boys were so engrossed in their discussion that they almost missed Kaya as she slipped out through the front gate and headed down the path into town. Almost.

"Hey it's Miss Kaya!"

"Where's she going?"

"Who cares!? After her!"

The three boys scrambled and chased after Kaya and caught up at the edge of town.

"MISS KAYA! STOP!" Onion called out.

Kaya looked back but didn't stop. "I can't. I have to get to the beach. There's… pirates are coming…"

"We know!" Carrot said.

"The Captain told us to guard you," Pepper added.

Kaya froze. "Your Captain… Usopp… He told you to… Even after I… Oh Usopp…" The fact that girl couldn't seem to form a coherent sentence showed how worried she was. "Wait… where _is_ Usopp?"

"Where do you think?" Carrot asked gloomily.

"No one believed him about the pirates," Pepper stated, "So he's fighting them himself."

"HE'S FIGHTING THE PIRATES ALONE!?" Kaya shouted. At that the sick girl started _running_. "USOPP!"

"He's not alone! He's got those other pirates with him!" Onion told her as they chased after her.

"Other pirates?" Kaya repeated. "You mean the ones that wanted the ship?"

"Yeah, them," Carrot confirmed.

"But there's still only five of them," Kaya pointed out. "I've got to stop Klahadore. If he wants my money and my estate I'll give it to him. I won't…" Kaya was forced to stop as she doubled over and started coughing. "Koff… koff… He can't… koff koff… Not Usopp…"

Kaya finally got through her coughing fit and looked up to find the three boys standing in front of her like a four-foot barricade.

"We can't let you go to the beach," Carrot insisted. "The Captain gave us an order,"

"We've gotta protect you no matter what happens," Onion added.

"They're after _you_ ," Pepper said. "If you go to that beach, everything that the Captain fought for will be for nothing."

Kaya's eyes widened when she realized the three boys were crying.

"He sent us away… because he knew the situation was really bad," Pepper whimpered. "That he might not… make it…"

"If this was the Captain's last order…" Carrot sobbed.

"WE CAN'T AFFORD TO FAIL IT!" Onion cried.

" **HEY! KNOCK IT OFF WITH THE SHOUTING!"** Kaya and Usopp's crew stiffened as an angry merchant came out of a house with a rake. He stopped and stared at Kaya and the kids. "Hey… you're not Usopp. Figures. He at least waits until after dawn to cause his ruckus."

"But Mister! The pirates really are coming!" Pepper protested.

"Great, now that yahoo's got kids doing his dirty work," the angry man grumbled. "I thought we taught him a lesson yesterday."

"He was telling the truth," Kaya spoke up.

"Miss Kaya!" the man sputtered. "You can't believe anything that guy says. He must've realized it and put the kids up to it. Remember yesterday when he accused your butler of being a pirate?"

"HE WAS TELLING THE TRUTH!" Kaya shouted this time. "Klahadore… he attacked Merry… He… he _really is_ a pirate. He's got a crew of pirates coming to attack the town. Usopp… he went to fight them off."

"You mean… he was actually telling the truth?" the man asked as he anger faded. "But… this is a small out-of-the-way village. Pirates would never come here!"

"He's after my estate," Kaya told him. "He wants to kill me an inherit everything."

The angry man was now a shocked man. "What… what do we do? He can't leave that boy to fight a crew of vicious pirates all alone!"

Usopp's crew shared a glance and each thought the same thing. _"What would Usopp do?"_

" **PIRATES ARE COMING!"** All three boys shouted as they ran through the streets. Usopp had proven day after day that it didn't take long for the villagers to form an angry mob.

* * *

"Kill long nose…" Sabo mumbled as he raised Bonnie Anne and aimed her at Usopp.

 **KER-CHOW!**

Usopp flinched then winced as the bullet grazed his arm. His eyes widened as he watched Bonnie Anne recoil for the first time ever. The rifle reared up and smacked the entranced Sabo in the face.

 **WHAK!**

"Wha? What happened?" Sabo grunted as he stopped in his tracks and rubbed his eyes.

"Kill long nose…" Zoro intoned as he closed in on Usopp.

"Right, I was hypnotized," Sabo realized then he rubbed the barrel of his rifle fondly. "Thanks Bonnie." Sabo quickly lunged forward and tackled Zoro to ground.

 **THUMP!**

Usopp held his bleeding arm as Sabo's words from yesterday rang through his head.

 _"_ _ **This**_ _is not just a rifle," Sabo insisted as he picked up Bonnie Anne and held her fondly. "Her name's Bonnie Anne and she's an Advanced Wheel-Lock Rifle with an added scope and custom revolving action. She's my partner and my girlfriend and if she wanted to take your head off…_ _ **she would have**_ _."_

Usopp didn't care what anyone said. Bonnie Anne had just saved his life.

"Oh crap!" Jango gasped as he saw his brilliant plan fall apart. Nami took advantage of his distraction and lashed out her leg.

 **THUNK!**

"AH-HEEHEE!" Jango squeaked as he doubled over.

Nami spun around Jango and sprinted away. Her eyes were locked on the sleeping pirate in front of the Bezan Black. "Everyone's risking their lives… and you're taking a nap! WAKE UP YOU IDIOT!"

"YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT, GIRL!" Jango shouted as he spun around and threw his chakrum at her. The deadly bladed ring whizzed through the air towards Nami.

"Oh no! I'll be split in two!" Nami yelped as she looked back at the blade.

 **SQUISH!**

Looking back at the blade had caused Nami to miss her footing and step right on Luffy's face.

It all happened in an instant. Luffy woke up and knocked Nami on her back. He started to yell at her for stepping on him but was cut off when the chakram slammed into his open mouth. Luffy lurched backwards from the impact but then stood up straight and shattered the metal chakrum with his teeth.

 **Kresh!**

"THAT HURT!" Luffy yelled, "NAMI! WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA?"

"IT WASN'T ME!" Nami shouted from the ground.

"Oh hey, that evil butler's here," Luffy noticed as he stared up the path.

"That boy from the beach… I thought he died," Kuro idly remarked.

Luffy looked lower and spotted the rest of his crew, "Hey! Zoro, Sabo! Why're you guys fighting?"

"HE'S HYPNOTIZED!" Sabo called back as he hung off of Zoro's back. The hypnotized swordsman completely ignored the barrel of the rifle that was c _hoking him_. "Snap out of it already!"

"Kill… long nose…" Zoro wheezed as he lumbered up the pass.

"That's it!" Sabo growled as he leaned back and planted his feet on the ground then hauled Zoro up and threw him into the rocky wall of the pass. He quickly lashed out and drove the barrel of his rifle into Zoro's chest. "Don't move."

Kuro glanced down at his watch. "Three minutes left. Then I kill everyone here."

" **How could you do this?"** Kuro looked up and stared at Usopp. "Kaya trusted you! Now you're trying to kill her! If its money you wanted, she would have gladly given you all you needed."

"I didn't devise this plan just so I could obtain Miss Kaya's fortune," Kuro told him. "I did it so I could gain peace of mind. For three years I catered to that girl's every whim. I, the once feared Captain Kuro, was reduced to a servant. I suffered in silence. I endured it all while cultivating my reputation here in town. All for today when I could kill that spoiled little brat and take everything from her."

Kuro grinned as he continued. "How does it feel Usopp? How does it feel to know that the peons that you've fought to defend trust me over you? I'm the one that's plotting to kill them and yet you're the one that the ignorant mob chases out of town. Even Miss Kaya trusts me over you."

"YOU BASTARD!" Usopp shouted as he charged and swung at the butler.

 **SWISH!**

Kuro appeared behind Usopp. "That reminds me, I still owe you for hitting me yesterday." Usopp froze as Kuro closed his hand and caused the five sword-claws to close in around his face. "You used… all of your strength, right?"

 **POW!**

A rubber fist slammed into Kuro's face and knocked him on his back. "If you don't like being hit… then I'll hit you another hundred times! I told ya I was gonna deck ya in the shnoz!"

"Captain! He did the same to me!" Jango called out to Kuro from the bottom of the pass. "I think he's got Devil Fruit Powers!"

"That's right, I ate the Gum Gum Fruit," Luffy informed them. "Now I'm a Rubber Man."

Kuro sat up. "A rubber man…" The shattered lenses in his glasses fell out of their frames as he stood up. "That would explain how he survived the fall back at the beach."

Kuro stalked forward and swung his arm to the side before Usopp even had a chance to dodge.

 **SLA-SLISH!**

"AYYEE!" Usopp yelped as he dropped to the ground and rolled away. He clutched at the bloody claw marks on his side.

"NOOO! UUSOOPP!" Luffy shouted.

"Jango, forget the last two minutes," Kuro said. "I'm about to kill everyone here. If you don't want to be included, get up here now."

Jango quickly rushed up the pass. Sabo was still struggling to hold Zoro at a bay.

"Swordsman!" the hypnotist called out, "He's trying to stop you from achieving your goal. Kill him."

 **WHAK!**

Zoro smashed Sabo's rifle away with one of his swords then swung another at him. But Sabo quickly blocked the strike with his rifle and started using it as a bow-staff to defend himself from Zoro's strikes.

Jango continued the rest of the way up the pass. Usopp was in no condition to stop him so the hypnotist was able to reach Kuro unhindered. Of the twenty five Black Cat Pirates that had landed on the beach, Jango had been the only one to make it passed the Straw Hats.

"These pests have nearly ruined my plan," Kuro said. "Go to the village, find the girl and make her write the will like we discussed. Then kill her."

"NOOO!" Usopp yelled from the ground.

 **THWAK!**

Kuro seemingly teleported next to Usopp and kicked him in the side to knock him away.

"Kill anyone that tries to stop you," Kuro added. "I'll fix the damage that you've done here."

"Yes sir," Jango agreed as he ran off into the forest.

"No…" Usopp groaned as he pushed himself off the ground. "I won't… I WON'T LET YOU KILL ANYONE!"

"I'm actually impressed that you're still standing," Kuro admitted. He raised his claw. "Let's fix that!"

" **GUM GUM PISTOL!"**

 **SWISH!**

Luffy's rubber fist sailed through empty space as Kuro used his speed to move out of the way. Luffy's arm kept going and grabbed onto a tree.

"GUM GUM ROCKET!"

 **WOING!**

Luffy shot himself up the pass and he landed in between Kuro and Usopp. "GO USOPP! WE'LL HANDLE THINGS HERE!"

"Right," Usopp agreed. He started to run but dropped to his knees. "Ughh… I can… barely stand…"

Kuro looked over at Usopp and laughed, "HAHAHAHA! You're pathetic Usopp! Even if you manage to catch up with Jango. You'd still be no match for him."

"Even if I'm no match for him…" Usopp mumbled as he clutched at his bloody side. "I'LL STILL PROTECT THEM!" Usopp slowly staggered up to his feet. "I won't…. I WON'T LET THIS STOP ME!"

Usopp charged off into the woods. _"That hypnotist has a head start. And I'm in no condition to race anyone… But no one knows this forest like I do. I can still get there in time!"_ "KAYA!"

"I have three years invested in this plan," Kuro said. "I won't let you ruin it!"

"Your plan's already ruined!" Sabo called out as he ducked under one of Zoro's swords and blocked another one with his rifle. "Your pirate attack has been thwarted. And Usopp's never going to let that hypnotist get within two feet of Miss Kaya. You think your reputation in town is going to survive this? There's no peaceful retirement in your future. Just a set of handcuffs."

 **KLANG!**

Sabo blocked all three of Zoro's swords with his rifle.

"Yeah!" Luffy said, "My friends beat all of yours. You're all alone now."

"Friends?" Kuro repeated. "Those peons aren't my friends. They're pawns. Dangle a bit of treasure in front of them and they'd dance to any tune. I grew tired of making plans for a bunch of mindless drones. The only reward I got for all my efforts was more attention from bounty hunters and the marines. In truth, you actually saved me a bit of trouble. Now I don't have to kill those fools myself."

Luffy tilted his hat forward to hide his eyes. A scowl marred his face. "If you'd turn your back on your Nakama and run from the sea. THEN YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO CALL YOURSELF A PIRATE!"

"I've got one bullet left…" Sabo grunted as he used his rifle to hold Zoro's swords at bay, "AND I'M NOT WASTING IT ON YOUR SORRY ASS!" Sabo lashed out his leg and kicked Zoro away from him.

Zoro readied his swords and charged at Sabo. Sabo jammed the nozzle of his rifle into the ground and used his weapon to vault over the charging swordsman's head.

Zoro staggered to a stop but Sabo was already in motion as he spun around and drove Bonnie Anne into the back of the swordsman's head.

 **KRACK!**

"UUGGHH!" Zoro grunted as he pitched forward and landed on his knees. "What the hell was that?" His eyes cleared as he was broken out of the hypnotic trance.

"You were hypnotized," Sabo explained. "I hit you on the head to snap you out of it. Unfortunately for you, there's only one pirate left for you to take it out on."

Kuro frowned and glared at Sabo and Zoro as they came up behind Luffy. "You put your faith in the wrong people. Just like with Usopp. He'll never be able to stop Jango. He'll only die in the attempt."

"You could never beat Usopp," Luffy insisted.

"Don't be a fool!" Kuro snapped at him. "How could I lose to a _pretend_ pirate? I'm smarter, I have a bounty, I have a crew of pirates under my command! How could he possibly be better than me!?" Then he vanished.

 **SWISH!**

"Your brain," Luffy answered simply. "YOU DON'T KNOW THE TRUE MEANING OF BEING A PIRATE!"

 **KLANG!**

Luffy looked back over his shoulder and saw Zoro holding five of Kuro's claws at bay with them pinned between this three swords.

"So you're using your men as a shield," Kuro noted.

"No one uses me," Zoro growled. "I'm exactly where I want to be." Then he twisted his swords to the side and snapped Kuro's claws.

 **KRESH!**

"Do you actually call those swords?" Zoro questioned as he tossed the fragments aside. "They're weak. Just like you."

"Why you!" Kuro growled as he raised his other hand Intent on using his other five claws.

 **POW!**

Luffy's fist slammed into Kuro's face and sent him tumbling down the pass.

"Hey Luffy!" Sabo called out from the edge of the forest. No one, especially Kuro, saw him get there thanks to Zoro's distraction. "I'm gonna go help Usopp."

"Right," Luffy agreed. "We'll take the evil butler." Luffy stared down the pass at Kuro as he got up. "Maybe this'll show you why it's import to have Nakama that you can count on."

"No… I'm going to teach _you fools_ how terrifying a _real pirate_ can be!" Kuro growled. He hunched over and started to swing his arms from side to side.

"Bad posture," Zoro noted as he stood beside Luffy and readied his swords. "He's right. I'm terrified."

* * *

"Finally," Jango sighed. "It felt like I was in that forest forever. Now I just need to… find… the… girl…" The hypnotist trailed off as he came out of the forest only to be faced with an angry mob wielding rakes, shovels, bats and pans. At the center of the knot of villagers were three familiar boys and his target.

"Is that one of the pirates?"

"Yeah," Pepper confirmed. "He's the one that the butler met with on the beach. He must be in charge of the pirates."

"An actual pirate! Usopp really was telling the truth!"

"Hey, if he's the only pirate to make it to town do you think…" Carrot trailed off. "Could they have?"

"Hey pirate! If you think you can just attack our town, you've got another thing coming!"

"You fools have no idea who you're dealing with!" Jango exclaimed. He held up his spare chakrum. "Look at this ring! When I say 'One, Two, Jango' you'll all fall asleep! ONE… TWO… JANGO!"

 **FWUMP!**

Everyone dropped to the ground fast asleep.

" _Jango! You know what happens when you ruin my plans!"_

"NO CAPTAIN! DON'T KILL ME!" Jango shrieked as he sat up. He blinked in surprise. "Oh right. A nightmare." He stood up and noticed that the mob was still asleep. So was Kaya. "Ah-ha! No one to save you now, girlie!"

Jango made his way through the sleeping crowd towards Kaya.

 **THUNK!**

"AH-HEEHEE!" Jango squeaked and as he was hit in the nuts for the second time that day. Only this time it was with a bat.

As Jango doubled over his was smacked in the face with a frying pan.

 **KLANG!**

Jango lurched backwards and was clubbed in the back with a shovel.

 **WHOMP!**

The hypnotist dropped to the ground and Pepper, Carrot and Onion stood over him.

"You think we'd fall for the same trick twice?" Carrot taunted.

"We only pretended to be asleep!" Pepper added.

"We're gonna keep Miss Kaya Safe," Onion insisted, "Just like the Captain ordered!"

"You… damn… brats…" Jango grunted as he stood back up. His voice was a couple octaves higher. "You want to play with the big boys? I'll kill you three first!"

 **THWAK!**

One spinning kick knocked all three boys on their back.

" **SPECIAL ATTACK: LEAD STAR!"**

 **THUNK-THUNK-THUNK!**

The lead panchinko balls struck Jango in the back and he fell forward.

Usopp stood at the edge of the forest and held onto a tree for support. "HEY! HYPNOTIST! LEAVE THOSE KIDS ALONE!"

"Captain!" Usopp's crew cheered. But then they saw his condition. "CAPTAIN!" Half of Usopp's body was covered in blood from the wounds Kuro had given him.

"You guys! Get Kaya out of here!" Usopp called out as he raised his slingshot. "I'll hold him off as long as I can!"

 **SLISH!**

A chakrum whizzed over to Usopp and slashed his side. But it also cut the strap to Usopp's arsenal bag and caused it to drop to the ground.

"You don't know who you're messing with, do you boy?" Jango snapped as he stood back up and caught his chakrum as it came back to him. He threw it again which forced Usopp to leap away from his dropped arsenal bag in order to avoid it. "I'll show you what a _real_ pirate captain can do!"

With his arsenal gone, Usopp had nothing to fire with his slingshot. He was effectively disarmed.

"Miss Kaya! Wake up!" Carrot called out as Usopp's crew rushed over to Kaya and shook her awake.

"We've gotta get out of here!" Onion urged her.

"The Captain's got the hypnotist distracted," Pepper told her. "Let's go!"

"Captain?" Kaya groggily repeated. "USOPP!" Kaya sat up and stared in horror as the hypnotist backed an injured Usopp into a tree.

"You and your pesky friends almost ruined the Captain's plan!" Jango berated Usopp. "Now I've gotta fix everything if I don't wanna die. I'm not just gonna kill you. When I'm done here, no one in this village will even remember your name!"

* * *

"That was disappointing," Nami remarked as she crossed the deck of the Bezan Black with the Black Cat Pirates' meager stores of treasure. "For a notorious pirate crew I thought they'd have more money. There's not even a million berries here. I guess not every pirate crew has Buggy's eye for treasure."

Nami made it to the railing and peered down at the pass. She saw Luffy, Zoro and the fallen Black Cat Pirates but no one else.

"What happened down there?" she wondered. "Is the fight over?"

 **SLASH!**

Five claw marks were suddenly slashed in the rocky wall of the pass.

 **SLISH!**

Five claw marks split the rocky ground midway up the pass.

 **SLA-SLISH!**

"YAAH!" Luffy howled in pain and dropped to the ground as invisible claws raked his side.

"CAPTAIN NO!" one of the Black Cat Pirates screamed down in front of the ship. "NOT THE OUT-OF-THE-BAG ATTACK!"

 **SLA-SLISH!**

The pirate was slashed across the chest and dropped to ground like a puppet with his strings cut.

"HOW COULD YOU ATTACK YOUR OWN CREW!?" Luffy hollered as he stood back up and held his side.

 **SLA-SLISH!**

"ZORO!" Luffy shouted in horror as the swordsman dropped to the ground after taking an invisible attack that had Luffy's name on it.

"He's… moving too fast to see…" Zoro told him, "But… he can hear you…"

"I'll get him, Zoro," Luffy vowed then shouted, "COME OUT, YOU STUPID BUTLER!"

 **SLASH!**

Kuro's invisible claws once again raked Luffy's side. But Luffy took the attack in stride and reached out so he could grab the invisible force that had attacked him then spun around threw Kuro to the ground.

 **WHAM!**

"Gotcha!" Luffy taunted the prone butler.

"You fools…" Kuro growled as he stood back up. "You should have stood quietly and allow me to cut you to pieces. Now I'll only have to prolong your suffering." Luffy glared at Kuro. "Have something to say?"

"Yeah," Luffy answered. "I swear… I'm never gonna be a pirate like you."

"Of course you won't!" Kuro replied, "You won't be a pirate at all! You're going to die right here!"

 **CHUNK!**

"AAUUGHH!" Kuro howled in pain and looked down to see a sword sticking out of his foot.

"Try your fancy footwork now," Zoro taunted as he used his sword to pin Kuro's foot to the ground. "NOW LUFFY!"

 **WHAP!**

Luffy lunged at Kuro and wrapped his legs around Kuro's waist and his arms around his shoulders.

"Now your three year plan will fail!" Luffy told him.

* * *

 **SLISH!**

Usopp dove out of the way to avoid Jango's chakram. The spinning blade kept going and cut down the tree he had been backed into.

 **KREK-KRASH!**

The tree topped over behind him as Usopp felt through the blood soaked pockets of his overalls in search of _anything_ that he could use against the hypnotist. Finally, he found something.

"Take this!" usopp called out as he stood back up, "UUUSOOOPP RUBBER BAND OF DOOOOOOM!"

Jango flinched and closed his eyes as he waited for Usopp to release the stretched rubber band.

 **THWAK!**

For the third time that day Jango took a shot to the nuts. "AH-HEE-HEE…" he hypnotist squeaked before he raised his chakrum and took advantage of Usopp's close proximity to drive the bladed edge into Usopp's back.

 **SHUNK!**

Usopp dropped to the ground.

"CAPTAIN!" "USOPP!" Usopp's crew and Kaya all screamed.

"That wasn't for the Captain," Jango grunted, "That wasn't for the plan. That wasn't even for me. THAT WAS FOR MY BALLS!" Jango turned around and advanced on Kaya.

"YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT!" The three boys charged to meet him.

 **THWAK!**

One powerful spin kick sent the boys sprawling onto their backs.

"PLAYTIME'S OVER!" Jango snarled as he surged forward and grabbed Kaya by the throat. Kaya struggled but the sick girl was no match for the furious hypnotist. "Now… you're gonna write me a will that says you leave all your worldly possessions to your butler Klahadore. Then you're gonna die so it can be carried out. You can either cooperate… or I'll kill every single person here!"

"I… okay… just… please don't hurt anyone…" Kaya pleaded.

"K-kaya…" Usopp wheezed as he once again pushed his heavily injured body up off of the ground. "KAYA, NO! GET AWAY FROM HER YOU BASTARD!"

"Fine then," Jango decided as he turned away from Kaya. "You die first."

" **USOPP, CATCH!"**

Usopp turned and caught a familiar rifle. No time to think. Usopp pointed Bonnie Anne at the hypnotist and pulled her trigger.

 **KER-CHOW!**

The recoil from the rifle launched Usopp backwards and caused him to land on his back.

But as usual, Usopp's aim rang true and the magnum round shot straight through the hole in Jango's chakram and struck his chest.

"Bullseye," Usopp groaned. "Thanks Bonnie."

"URK!" Jango clutched his chest and dropped to the ground.

* * *

 **KONK!**

Luffy banged his head against Kuro's then stretched his neck and shot his head all the way up the pass.

"NO! MY PLAN!" Kuro shouted. "MY PLAN CANNOT FAIL!"

"GUM… GUM… BELL!" Luffy's head shot back down and smashed against Kuro's.

 **DONG!**

Captain Kuro was knocked out cold.

Zoro removed his sword from Kuro's foot and Luffy dropped to the ground. "GET THIS GARBAGE OUTTA HERE!" Luffy threw Kuro down the pass so he landed on top of his fallen crew.

"I'd hate to be the guy that has to clean up that mess," Zoro muttered as he sheathed his swords and pulled off his bandana.

Luffy dropped onto his back just as Nami came running back up the path with her sack of treasure.

"You guys did good," the thief commented. She sat down next to Luffy and looked down at him. "What got you so mad earlier?"

"I hate pirates like them," Luffy told her. "They're just… so wrong."

"I hate to break it to you," Nami replied, "But that's how most pirates are."

"Then I'm gonna change that," Luffy decided. "I'm gonna be King of the Pirates and change everything!"

"That would do it," Zoro admitted.

"I'm hungry," Luffy announced.

"Of course," Nami sighed.

* * *

Sabo walked out of the woods and stood over Usopp. "Nice shot."

"Thanks," Usopp said. He held Bonnie Anne up to Sabo. "Here, you can have her back. She's _way_ too much rifle for me."

Sabo smiled as he took back his treasured rifle.

"USOPP!""CAPTAIN!" Kaya and Usopp's crew rushed over.

"Are you okay?"

"I can't believe you fought the pirates!"

"I knew you'd be fine all along!"

"I'm so sorry I didn't believe you."

Sabo stood back and watched Usopp's closest friends fuss over him then looked over and noticed that the townspeople were starting to stir.

" **What… what happened?"** It didn't take long for the crowd to wake up.

"I… I uh…" Usopp stammered as he found himself faced with the mob that chased him through the village every morning. "I don't suppose you'd be willing to forget this ever happened and pretend it was just another one of my lies?"

"No way! Usopp, you saved the village!"

"Forget being a pretend pirate! You're a _real_ hero!"

Usopp flinched. He was clearly unaccustomed to receiving _praise_ from his neighbors.

"Usopp… want me to handle this?" Sabo offered.

Usopp looked over at Sabo and quickly nodded.

Quartermaster Sabo stepped forward. "Attention everyone! I'm sure you're all anxious to know what transpired here this morning. Please, allow me to explain… Usopp was telling the truth. At dawn this morning pirates landed here intent on attacking your village. The pirate crew that I represent, the Straw Hat Pirates, aided Usopp in fighting them off. As you can see, Usopp was badly injured during the fight so I would like to ask if there is a doctor present that could provide Usopp with medical attention?"

"The only doctor in town is Doctor Mornin," one man admitted. "But he's not here."

"Miss Kaya, boys, would you mind escorting Captain Usopp to the doctor?" Sabo requested.

"Let's bring the Doctor to my house," Kaya suggested to Usopp's Crew. "Merry needs treatment too." Kaya, Pepper, Carrot and Onion quickly had Usopp carted off.

Sabo addressed the rest of the villagers, "Now, if someone wouldn't mind disarming that pirate and taking him into custody so he can be turned over to the marines. I'll take everyone else to the pass where the battle took place. My Captain and the rest of my crew should have finished off the last of the pirates by now. I'll explain everything along the way."

So while Jango was apprehended, Sabo led the rest of the townspeople to the pass and told the tale of Captain Kuro's final plan and how it was foiled thanks to the efforts of Usopp and the Straw Hat Pirates.

* * *

The afternoon sun had fully risen over the Gecko Islands. The surviving Black Cat Pirates, Kuro and Jango among them, had been tied and bound on board the Bezan Black. A number of villagers stood guard as they waited on the damaged vessel awaiting the arrival of the marine dispatch they had called.

"You guys do realize that this isn't how pirates are normally treated, right?" Nami asked.

The Straw Hat Pirates found themselves eating lunch in Kaya's mansion at the dining room table with Kaya, Usopp, Carrot, Pepper and Onion. Everyone's various injuries had been treated and Kaya's cook had happily returned from vacation to prepare a feast for the village's new heroes.

"Seems normal for us," Zoro stated as he slapped Luffy on the back to keep him from choking on a chicken bone.

"Thanks Zoro! I couldn't get it out!"

"You need to work on your technique," Zoro advised.

"You know, Usopp," Sabo said as he loaded some newly acquired ammunition into Bonnie Anne. "It's a pity you never learned to shoot a gun. It turns out the guy who gave me this ammo also used to provide your father with his stuff too. He had a bunch of stories about how great a shot your old man was. He was just waiting for the day when you came to visit."

"Really?" Usopp asked. He stood up. "Excuse me Kaya. There's a guy I've gotta see."

Usopp darted out of the room. His crew shared a glance and quickly ran after him.

"Excuse us, Miss Kaya!" Onion called back into the room.

"Wait for us Captain!" Carrot exclaimed.

"Yeah, we wanna hear about your awesome pirate father too!" Pepper added.

Kaya was left sitting alone at her end of the table across from the Straw Hats. "I actually wanted to speak with you about something. Merry?"

A bandaged but mostly recovered Merry entered the room with a slip of official-looking paper. "Everything has been taken care of, Miss Kaya." He handed the paper to Kaya and she signed it.

"I had Merry check and it turns out that I _do_ have a ship that I can give you," Kaya announced. "It's not quite a gift because I have one condition that you have to agree to." Merry took the paper and brought it around the table to the Straw Hats.

Sabo took the paper and grinned, "Heh. That works for me. We were gonna do that anyway."

"My condition," Kaya said, "Is that you take Usopp with you, look after him and help him achieve his dream. Merry told me why Usopp starts every morning by shouting about pirates coming. It was his deepest desire that a pirate ship with his father on it would come to this island and take him out to sea. He wants to become a Brave Warrior of the Sea like his father. I know that he'll be safe if he sets sail with brave pirates like you."

"I already decided that Usopp's gonna join our crew," Luffy said.

"Once Luffy decides that he wants you to join his crew he won't take 'no' for an answer," Zoro said.

"This is a contract Luffy," Sabo informed his brother as he slid the paper over to him. "You just have to sign this and we'll have a ship."

Luffy took the pen and scribbled his name on the contract.

"Now that it's official," Kaya announced as she stood up, "Would you like to see your new ship?"

* * *

"You know guys," Usopp said as he stood on a stack of logs. "Hearing all those stories about my old man reminded me of my dream. I think it's time that I set out to sea. I'm gonna follow my dream and become a Brave Warrior of the Sea like my father."

"But Captain!" Onion protested.

"You can't!" Carrot exclaimed.

"You're a hero now!" Pepper added.

"Yeah but after being the bane of the village for so long it makes me uncomfortable," Usopp confessed. "Tell me men, what are your dreams?"

"To be an innkeeper."

"A wanna be a carpenter like my father."

"A novelist!"

"Those are great dreams," Usopp told them. "Swear to me that you'll pursue them and never let them die out! Because as of today… I hereby declare the Usopp Pirates… DISBANDED!"

* * *

The Straw Hats had been admiring their new caravel the Going Merry which had been brought around to the pass next to the Bezan Black and the captive pirates. Usopp had come rolling down the pass with an overstuffed backpack but Luffy and Zoro acted quickly and managed to stop him.

"So you're really doing it," Kaya said. "You're really going out to sea."

"Yup, I'm gonna go now before I change my mind," Usopp replied. "Don't be sad and don't miss me too much. When I come back I'll have all sorts of stories to tell you! And this time they'll be true!"

"I'll look forward to it," Kaya told him.

Usopp turned to the Straw Hats. "Thanks for everything. I'll see you around maybe."

"Why?" Luffy asked.

"Wow, that's rude," Usopp remarked. "We're bound to run into each other eventually."

"What're you talking about?" Zoro asked.

"You're coming with us," Sabo told him.

"We're Nakama aren't we?" Luffy reminded him.

Usopp's eyes widened, "YEAH! Hey, can I be the Captain?"

"NO! _I'M_ CAPTAIN!" Luffy argued.

"HEY!" one of the villagers guarding the Bezan Black called out, "THE MARINES ARE COMING!"

Everyone turned and to see a marine ship appear off the horizon.

Usopp squinted, "Is that a dog they've got for a figurehead?"

Luffy started sweating and Sabo went pale.

"EVERYONE ON THE SHIP!" Sabo screamed, "LET'S GO! LET'S GO! RUN FOR IT!"

"You guys are heroes," Kaya pointed out. "You don't need to run from the Marines."

"RUUUUUUN!" Luffy screamed as he wrapped his rubber arms around his entire crew, plus Usopp's stuffed bag and carried them all up the gangplank onto the Going Merry.

"We're not running from the marines," Sabo called over Luffy's shoulder. "We're running from _this_ marine."

"What the hell is your problem?" Nami complained, annoyed at being manhandled.

"HE'S COMING!" Luffy shouted. "HE'S COMING AND HE'LL KICK ALL OUR ASSES!"

"ZORO, RAISE THE ANCHOR!" Sabo barked, "LUFFY, LOOK, I FOUND PADDLES!"

The Going Merry took off like the hounds of hell were after it. The unmarked caravel gave the approaching marine ship as wide a berth as possible and managed to escape into the open sea.

"I wonder what all that was about," Merry remarked as the marine ship pulled onto the shore.

A large, powerfully built man in a dog mask stepped off this ship. A pink haired boy with glasses and a lanky blonde man peaked over the railing of the marine ship to watch the officer.

"What's this I hear about a pirate with a straw hat beating a bunch of cats?"

"I'm afraid you just missed them officer," Merry replied.

The large marine turned around and glared at the tiny speck that the Going Merry had become.

"DAMN YOU LUFFY! YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH MAKING ME CLEAN UP YOUR MESSES!"

An awkward reunion followed where former Marine Captain Morgan found himself sharing a cell with Kuro, the pirate he had gotten famous for apprehending and executing.

* * *

Is it hypocritical that I had Sabo refuse to get involved with Zoro's fight against the Nyabans but then turned around and had Zoro help Luffy against Kuro? Not in my eyes. Kuro's philosophy was that his crew was simply a bunch of expendable peons. He abandoned them for three years and planned to kill them even if they did manage to carry out his plan. I thought that there was no better way to prove him wrong than to have one of Luffy's loyal Nakama standing by his side helping him face the evil butler. Plus, the idea of Zoro and Kuro's swords clashing seemed really cool.

Next up is the Baratie Arc where we'll meet Johnny, Yosaku, Don Krieg, Hawk Eye Mihawk and of course, Sanji

Silver signing off


	11. Johnny & Yosaku

_**BROTHER ON BOARD**_

Bluejay Blaze - I figured since Garp was in the area from dealing with Morgan that he'd be able to respond to the call from Syrup Village. Especially when someone mentioned the bit about the Straw Hat. I thought it would be a funny thing to include. You'll see Garp on Luffy-clean up-duty again but it's only for the East Blue Saga.

dhampire712 - Thanks. The non-interfering thing sort of goes out the window when the opponent starts attacking everybody though. And let's be honest, the Kuro fight isn't exactly in Luffy's top ten so I thought it would be okay to tweak this one. I felt that it would be more meaningful in showing the contrast between the heartless Kuro and the loyalty that the Straw Hats have for each other. Also, Jango's not dead.

Mikila94 - I specifically added this line to note that Jango was still alive "The surviving Black Cat Pirates, Kuro and Jango among them, had been tied and bound on board the Bezan Black." He's just critically injured. So no more MJ-style dancing for the Hypnotist. Sabo, Bonnie and Usopp in a love triangle? For that to work Usopp would have to have some kind of feelings for the rifle. Absurd. Ridiculous. Could never happen. Um... actually... perhaps you should take a look at this chapter first?

Johnny Spectre - Thanks for pointing that out. It's fixed. Let me know if you spot any other mistakes.

lostdoggy - No problem. As long as you give me a name and something to respond to that doesn't give _too much_ away, I'll keep responding and answering questions. I write during the week, edit over the weekend, then post first thing on Monday. That's when I'll respond.

Fairy of the Friz - Good choice joining the Bonnie Anne fan club. Especially after you see this and the next chapter.

PipeDream - Ch 2 Review. Yup. Ace has no idea how 'attached' Sabo got to the rifle he sent him. But we also have no idea how Ace got Bonnie. Ch 3 Review. Nami actually touches on that in this chapter. Luffy's natural gullibility plus Sabo's charisma and persuasiveness _and_ the fact that they're brothers makes Luffy a lost cause as far as Bonnie is concerned. Ch 10 Review. I'm glad I've already got you this excited over my story. I haven't even gotten to the good stuff get. There's a long way to go before I can even really think about the time skip. Also, remember that the Straw Hats split up before the Krieg fight.

Pippalina - A Zoan Devil Fruit was actually my initial idea too. They're horribly underrated. But the problem is, I can't think of an animal that would particularly fit Sabo. I don't want to go cliche and pick an OP Mythical Zoan type. Unlike the Straw Hats and the Warlords, Sabo doesn't have an animal theme. His only 'theme' is Steampunk with his Victorian era clothing plus the goggles. I'm currently trying to think of something that works with that.

* * *

 **Johnny and Yosaku-**

The Straw Hats Pirates sailed through the peaceful waters of the East Blue with their new recruit Usopp and their new ship the Going Merry.

"Alright, Sword-Hoarder, I've finally figured out a job for you!" Sabo proudly announced to Zoro.

"Took you long enough," Zoro grunted.

"You didn't give me much to work with!" Sabo argued. "You can't navigate for crap, you can't cook and I bet you couldn't fire a cannon to save your life. Our only use for you so far was in battle."

"If you have a point, hurry up and make it," Zoro advised, "Otherwise I'll show you how _useful_ my swords and I can be."

"You had my brother's back in that fight against Kuro," Sabo said as he looked passed Sabo at Luffy as he messed around with a black flag and some paint in the middle of the deck. "That means a lot to me. You were also our first recruit so that gives you seniority. Now that we've got a ship, we need someone to ensure that she can keep sailing."

"So… what? You want me to be a shipwright?" Zoro asked.

"I doubt you're a skilled enough carpenter for that," Sabo said. "You're gonna be our new Bosun."

Zoro blinked. "Okay, now let's pretend I've been sailing mostly on my own for all these years and don't know what that is exactly…"

"And you call yourself a pirate," Sabo muttered, "A 'Boatswain' is an officer that's in charge of maintaining the deck of the ship before, during and after travel. Your duties include raising and lowering the anchor, ensuring that the sails are rigged properly before we set off and stay that way during travel then fixing anything on the deck that breaks. Also while we're sailing you've gotta take lead everyone in adjusting the sails based on our navigator's orders."

"Sounds more like I'm stuck doing all the grunt work," Zoro pointed out.

"You don't have to do it all on your own," Sabo told him. "I'm sure Usopp would be more than happy to help you maintain the Merry. Your job is just to ensure that it all gets done. Our crew's small but as it grows you'll have more and more people to work under you and help you. We've all gotta pull our weight around here so I figure giving you some important responsibilities will keep you from napping and drinking all day."

"I'm still going to sleep and drink," Zoro assured him. "Now I just have some stuff to do in between."

 **(A/N: The official name for the position is Boatswain but it's pronounced 'Bosun' which is why, going forward, Zoro's new position will be written out as Boatswain but spoken as "Bosun".)**

"HEY GUYS! I'M FINISHED!" Luffy announced as he held up the flag he'd painted.

Sabo, Zoro, Nami and Usopp gathered in front of Luffy as he unveiled his artwork. They were all… unimpressed.

"Maybe… it's supposed to be abstract?" Nami suggested.

"Pirate flags are supposed to be scary," Zoro reasoned. "That _is_ pretty scary."

"That stinks!" Usopp objected.

"What? You guys mean you don't like it?" Luffy asked.

Sabo adjusted his top hat and walked up to Luffy. "Luffy, you know as Quartermaster I'm the voice of the crew and that it's my job to speak up in their interest and on their behalf." Luffy nodded. "Well on behalf of the crew, I've got to tell you that your painting stinks and if you make that our symbol you'll be _banned_ from the galley. And the only meals you'll be served will be _vegetarian_!"

Luffy's eyes bulged in horror, "WAH? NO FOOD? NO MEAT!?" Luffy tossed the flag away at Sabo.

"There's another reason he's Quartermaster," Nami whispered to Zoro. "He knows Luffy better than anyone so he's best at reining him in."

"He can have that job," Zoro replied. "Too much talking, paperwork and dealing with Luffy. I'm happy with mine."

"Here, let me try," Usopp offered.

A moment later Usopp had painted his own version of the Jolly Roger on the other side of the flag. _His version_ meant that the skull had a long nose and one of the crossbones was replaced with a slingshot.

"HEY! I'M CAPTAIN!" Luffy protested.

"Usopp… insubordination like that is grounds to lock you in the brig," Sabo said.

"But the Merry doesn't have a brig," Usopp reminded him.

"Then we'll use the anchor room until we can add one," Sabo decided, "Unless of course, you'd like to try your hand at Luffy's idea."

"Seems like a waste of my artistic talents but I'll give it a shot," Usopp agreed.

A moment later, a smiling skull and crossbones with a straw hat had been painted on a new flag. Everyone agreed that it was much better.

"Now you guys just need to paint it on the sail," Nami resolved.

Sabo turned and grinned at Zoro. "Hear that Bosun. Sounds like you've got your first job."

"Fine," Zoro responded. "But you and long nose are still helping me." The new Boatswain glared at the Captain. "And if you so much as _touch_ a paintbrush I'm throwing you overboard."

* * *

A while later, Sabo and Zoro sat on the wooden yard above the main sail.

"And that's how you properly rig the sails," Sabo concluded. They both took a moment to look down at the main sail that they'd just finished rehanging after Usopp painted their new Jolly Roger on it. Their new pirate flag was fluttering in the breeze from where it had been hung at the top of the rear mast.

"So you actually _do_ know how to do this stuff," Zoro noted. "I thought you were just pawning the stuff you couldn't do off on me."

"Any sailor worth his salt knows how to do this stuff," Sabo assured him. "If you're gonna be a proper Bosun then you've gotta know these sails inside and out. Plus, it's more of a matter of it being stuff that I don't _want_ to do instead of not being able to do it."

"At least this place looks like a decent spot to take a nap," Zoro remarked.

"I wouldn't recommend that," Sabo replied. "You roll over or get hit with a strong breeze and you'll fall all the way down to the deck. You want to nap up here? Use the crow's nest."

Zoro looked over at the nest and shrugged. "Don't mind if I do." Zoro stood up and carefully walked along the yard to the crow's nest then hoisted himself up over the edge and into it.

Sabo shook his head as he slipped over to the rope ladder and started to climb down.

 **KA-BOOM!**

Directly below him, Luffy had just fired off one of the cannons.

"What're you doing Luffy?" Luffy's actions had drawn the attention of Usopp.

"I can't make this stupid cannon work," Luffy complained.

Sabo dropped down off the rope ladder and sat on the railing. He reached back into the ship and picked up Bonnie Anne from where he'd left the rifle propped against the side of the ship while he helped Zoro rig the main sail.

"You're probably just using it wrong," Usopp chided him.

"Oh yeah?" Luffy retorted. "Let's see you do it. Hit that rock."

"Fine!" Usopp retorted but then faltered, "But only if Sabo does it first!"

"I guess I'll give it a shot," Sabo agreed. "Luffy, hold Bonnie." Sabo handed his rifle off to his brother and took his position behind the cannon. He eyed the rock and carefully lined up his shot then lit the fuse.

 **KA-BOOM!**

They all watched as the cannonball sailed across the water but then veered to the side at the last moment and crashed down into the water beside the rock.

"Booooo!" Luffy and Usopp chorused.

"Shut up, the wind took it," Sabo insisted as he turned and took his rifle back from Luffy.

 **KER-CHOW!**

Bonnie Anne fired and blasted a round off the side of the ship.

Luffy, Sabo and Usopp looked up in time to see a chunk of the rock break off of the side.

"Yes, yes, we all know you're the best shot here," Sabo chided his rifle with a bemused smile. "You don't have to rub it in."

"Not so fast!" Usopp objected. "I've still gotta take _my_ turn!" Usopp loaded another cannonball into the cannon then slipped around behind it. "Now judging by how Sabo did... I just have to compensate for the wind resistance and how much further we've gone…" Usopp squinted at the rock and lit the fuse.

 **KA-BOOOM!**

The cannonball soared over the water and blasted the rock to pieces.

"Whoa, he hit it on his first try," Sabo remarked.

"WHOA! YOU HIT IT ON YOUR FIRST TRY!" Luffy exclaimed.

"WHOA! I HIT IT ON MY FIRST TRY!" Usopp cheered.

Usopp turned and pointed smugly at Bonnie Anne, "Top _that_ , you prissy pistol!"

Sabo raised an eyebrow while Luffy laughed. "Shishishishi! Okay, Usopp. I've decided. You're gonna be our new sharpshooter.

" _Or_ ," Sabo said, "If you want to use the actual professional title like a _proper pirate_ , you can be our Master Gunner."

"Sure!" Usopp happily agreed. "And if you ever get tired of being Captain just say the word and I'll take over for you."

Up in the crow's nest, Zoro hadn't quite gotten to sleep yet. He looked down at Usopp in concern.

* * *

"Okay, so I finished taking stock of everything we have," Nami announced to the others. The Straw Hats had gathered in the galley and were sitting around the table for a meeting. "Kaya was nice enough to fully stock this ship for us. We've got cannonballs, kegs of gunpowder, fresh water and booze…"

"Oh, and food!" Luffy chimed.

"Right, and food," Nami added, "We've got dry food in the pantry also meat in the fridge and icebox along with various fruits and vegetables. But that actually brings me to my point. We've got a Captain, a Quartermaster, a Bosun, a Master Gunner and I'm your Navigator for now. But there's still someone important that we need."

"Right!" Luffy agreed. "Absolutely! We have to get one as soon as possible."

"Now… I'd be willing to do it," Nami offered, "But it won't be free and it won't come cheap."

"Or we could recruit a professional that _wouldn't_ charge us a fortune," Sabo suggested.

"Right," Luffy resolved, "We need to recruit… A MUSICIAN!"

"Rubber idiot!" Nami rubbed the large tick mark on her forehead.

Zoro shook his head, "I thought you were going to say something smart for once."

"Do you have any idea what sailing on the seas is like?" Usopp snapped. "This isn't a cruise ship!"

"But pirates have to sing," Luffy argued.

"Hold on," Sabo said, "I can help him get this." Sabo turned to his brother. "Luffy… Kaya gave us a lot of _raw_ meat. That means you can't eat it yet."

Luffy's eyes went wide. "YOU'RE RIGHT! WE NEED A COOK!"

"Took you long enough," Usopp complained,

"Rubber idiot," Nami muttered again.

" **COME OUT YOU, DAMN PIRATES!"** a loud voice shouted from outside. **"I'LL KILL ALL OF YA!"**

 **KRASH!**

It sounded as though an angry intruder had boarded the Going Merry and was smashing stuff on the deck. Luffy raced out the door onto the deck to confront him. "HEY! WHO'RE YOU?"

" **WHO AM I?"** the man replied. **"I SHOULD BE ASKING WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK** _ **YOU**_ **ARE! YOU TRIED TO MURDER MY PARTNER!"**

 **CHUNK!**

This was followed by the sound of the railing outside the galley being broken.

Sabo looked across the room at Zoro, "You do realize that you're responsible for getting everything he breaks repaired."

"Shit," Zoro cursed as he grabbed his swords and raced out the door after Luffy. But he stopped in his tracks when spotted the intruder. "What the heck… _Johnny_?"

"Zoro-bro!" the man exclaimed.

"I guess Zoro knows him," Nami realized.

'Johnny' was a dark haired swordsman with sunglasses that wore a blue hooded jacket. He had the kanji for 'Sea' tattooed on the side of his tanned face.

"What're you doing here?" Zoro asked. "Where's Yosaku?"

"That's just it!" Johnny exclaimed as he sheathed his sword. "Yosaku… IS DYING!"

* * *

A little bit later, Johnny's partner Yosaku had been brought onto the Going Merry. Yosaku was another swordsman who wore a green hooded coat, red headgear and plaid yellow shorts. He was pale, wheezing, coughing up blood and missing a number of teeth.

The Straw Hats gathered around and took note of Yosaku's horrible condition.

"I can't believe we ran into you, Zoro-bro," Johnny sighed.

"What's with the 'bro'?" Sabo turned and asked Zoro. "These guys your brothers?"

"He and Yosaku call everyone that's earned their respect 'bro'," Zoro told him. He looked down at the sick man. "What happened, Johnny?"

"He was fine a few days ago," Johnny explained as he sat sadly next to his partner. "But then he went pale and started fainting. I don't know what's wrong with him but his teeth are falling out and his old wounds are reopening… I don't know what to do! I brought him to that big rock so he could get some rest but then it blew up!"

Luffy and Usopp went wide eyed and gulped, "Oops. Sorry!" They both bowed apologetically.

"It's okay," Johnny said, "A chunk of the rock was blasted off before the explosion. Thanks to that warning I was able to get Yosaku to safety in time."

Usopp turned his shocked gaze to Bonnie Anne, "Okay. You win this round, Bonnie. But trust me there _will be_ a rematch!"

Nami eyed the sniper with concern while Zoro shook his head.

"I can't believe this is how it's going to end," Johnny sobbed. "Our names used to strike fear into the hearts of pirates… but now… I don't know if I can continue without my partner."

"Would you knock that off?" Nami snapped at him.

"Nami? What the hell!" Zoro protested.

"How dare you make light of my partners suffering!" Johnny growled at her.

Nami ignored them. "Luffy, Usopp, there are fresh limes in the galley. Squeeze some juice into a bowl and bring it back here."

"Right!" the Captain and Master Gunner quickly carried out the Navigator's orders.

"It's scurvy," Nami explained as Luffy and Usopp poured the lime juice into Yosaku's mouth. "It's caused by a lack of fruits and vegetables in a sailor's diet. In the past it was considered a death sentence for sailors because ships didn't have the technology to store fresh fruit for long voyages. But if we acted in time he should be fine in a few days."

"Really Nami-sis!?" Johnny gushed. "He's going to be okay?"

"He'll be fine," Nami assured him. "And don't call me that."

"Wow, Nami!" Luffy exclaimed. "You're like a Doctor!"

"I always knew she was special," Usopp remarked.

"THIS IS ALL BASIC INFORMATION ANY PIRATE SHOW KNOW!" Nami berated them.

"This kind of stuff never seemed important," Sabo admitted as he rubbed the back of his head. "Luffy, Ace 'n' I never got sick."

"It might be fine for you freakish lunatics," Nami retorted, "But it's a big problem for NORMAL people!"

Yosaku jumped up off the ground and started dancing, "HOORAY! I'M SAVED!"

"SAVED BY LIME JUICE!" Johnny cheered as linked arms with Yosaku and joined his dance.

"Quit dancing!" Nami scolded them, "You haven't fully recovered yet."

"And you called _us_ weird," Sabo commented. "Of course two swordsman would be nuts."

"You ARE weird!" Nami insisted. "You're even more nuts than they are!"

Johnny and Yosaku stopped dancing and struck cool poses.

"Sorry for the late introductions," Johnny apologized, "But I'm Johnny."

"And I'm Yosaku," Yosaku continued. "We're Zoro-bro's old bounty hunting partners. I thought I was a goner for sure. Thanks for your help."

Johnny looked over at Zoro, "I never thought I'd see the day where 'Pirate Hunter' Roronoa Zoro became a pirate himself."

"This is a special group of pirates," Zoro told them. "Also, I'm actually the Bosun on this ship. And since you broke our railing and smashed those barrels you've gotta fix it."

"Right, of course, Zoro-bro," Johnny and Yosaku chorused.

 **PLURT!**

Yosaku coughed up blood and dropped to the ground proving that he wasn't fully recovered yet.

"So… what have we learned today, my _special_ crew?" Nami asked the other Straw Hats while Johnny set about repairing the railing.

"There are all kinds of dangers we'll face on long voyages," Zoro stated.

"He would've died if he hadn't come across us," Usopp added.

"He almost died _because_ he came across us," Sabo reminded him.

"Geez, I said I was sorry!" Usopp protested. "You don't see _Bonnie_ rubbing it in."

Zoro and Nami shared a concerned look,

"Oh, I know!" Luffy exclaimed, "We definitely need to find a cook so he'll make us good food and meat!"

"That's… actually right," Nami commented as she tried and failed to hide her surprise. "A good cook would ensure that we'll all have healthy, nutritious food that'll help us keep our strength up as we continue our voyage."

"Oh, Zoro-bro!" Johnny called out and raised his hand.

"Yes?" Zoro asked.

"I know a place you can find a cook!" Johnny happily informed them. "Although, getting one of them to join you might be a problem. But there's this great restaurant on the sea called 'the Baratie'. It's about two or three days from here. The cooks there are all top notch. But they're really tough too. It's north from here and is pretty close to the Grand Line. All sorts of rough customers go there."

"When you consider the journey we're on, we'll _need_ a tough Ship's Cook," Sabo reasoned. "It sounds like just the place."

Johnny leaned in and whispered to Zoro, "Zoro-bro, I even hear that 'Hawk Eye' guy you're looking for was once sighted there." Zoro went stiff as Johnny turned to the other Straw Hats. "I'll happily take you guys there as a show of gratitude for saving my partner."

"YEAH!" Luffy cheered. "LET'S GO TO THE OCEAN RESTAURANT!"

And so with Johnny and Yosaku's small skiff tied to it, the Going Merry changed course and headed north towards the ocean-going restaurant known as the Baratie.

* * *

Later that night, Usopp was walking along the deck thinking fond memories of the home he'd left behind when Johnny and Yosaku suddenly grabbed him and dragged him up into the galley.

"Hey! What's the big idea?" Usopp protested as he was deposited in a seat at the galley table and found himself facing Nami with Zoro standing behind her.

"Usopp… this is an intervention," Nami announced as Johnny and Yosaku barred the door. "Zoro and I both noticed you showing some strange behavior that has us both concerned about your mental health. It seems as though you've been treating Sabo's rifle like it's a member of the crew."

"Isn't she?" Usopp asked. "Sabo loves her and Luffy treats her like Nakama."

"There's a reason I call him 'gun- _nut_ '," Zoro told him, "Sabo's crazy."

"And Luffy's naturally very gullible," Nami added, "Even if he wasn't, Sabo's his brother so Luffy would probably go along with whatever he says regardless. Sabo's had plenty of time to corrupt his brother. We're trying to save you while we still can."

"But… she saved my life," Usopp replied.

" _It_ is a _gun_ ," Nami reminded him. "Sabo's just messing with you."

"Then you weren't paying attention during the last battle!" Usopp retorted hotly. "The hypnotist had Zoro _and_ Sabo hypnotized. Sabo pointed Bonnie, Sabo pulled her trigger but _Bonnie_ missed."

"Usopp…" Nami attempted to cut in but Usopp kept going.

"How many times have you seen Sabo fire Bonnie?" Usopp demanded. "He stood next to me while we were on our own facing those pirates and fired her off almost a dozen times and not once did she recoil! But I fired her at the hypnotist and she threw me back three feet! Bonnie didn't like that Sabo was hypnotized so she recoiled and smacked him the face to snap him out of it. She saved me!"

"Look Usopp," Nami said, "There's a perfectly logical explanation for all that."

"You've seen how strong Luffy is, right?" Zoro asked. Usopp nodded. "He might not look it since he's mostly a distance fighter but Sabo's really strong too. Luffy and Sabo trained together before they set out. So I'm pretty sure the gun-nut is close to our rubber captain in terms of strength."

"Exactly," Nami continued, "I saw Sabo hit a lion tamer with his rifle and send the guy flying over thirty feet. I bet that the rifle recoils every time that it fires. Sabo's just strong enough to hold it back and has probably gotten used to it. But when he was hypnotized he wasn't consciously holding onto it so it recoiled and smacked him in the face. You see? It was all a lucky coincidence."

"Repeat after me," Zoro instructed, "It's just a gun."

"She's just a gun," Usopp repeated.

" _IT'S_ just a gun," Zoro corrected him.

"It's just a gun," Usopp repeated.

"Keep repeating that," Zoro advised. "Maybe it'll eventually stick."

Usopp nodded and left the room. "It's just a gun… It's just a gun…"

Nami looked over at Zoro, "He's worse than I thought…"

Usopp made his way across the deck and headed for the anchor room like he had originally planned. He stopped when he saw a bit of white cloth wrapped around the handle but shrugged and went inside. The sight that greeted him immediately froze Usopp on the spot.

Sabo was sitting shirtless on a barrel with Bonnie Anne between his legs. The Quartermaster had a bottle of warm oil on the floor next to him and was polishing the rifle's revolving cartridges in a manner that could only be described as _intimate_.

"URK!" Usopp gulped in shock. Sabo's head snapped up and he finally noticed the intruder.

"THE HELL, MAN?" Sabo snapped as he hugged Bonnie Anne to him seemingly to preserve her modesty. "YOU EVER HEARD OF KNOCKING?"

"I-sorry!" Usopp sputtered as he stumbled backwards, tripped then frantically crawled out of the room.

Usopp slammed the door behind him then panted as he slumped against it. His face was now beet red. "She's just a gun… she's just a gun…"

" **The tie means don't go in."**

Usopp looked up to see Luffy sitting above him on the rear railing of the front deck. "What?"

"Sabo's tie," Luffy said as he pointed down at the white cloth on the door knob that Usopp had dismissed. Usopp now recognized it as Sabo's cravat tie. "When it's on the door it means don't go in. Shishishi! Sabo hates to have his private time with Bonnie interrupted. I learned that a long time ago."

"I… right thanks," Usopp replied. "I'll remember that." Once his blush finally faded, Usopp stood up and went down to the men's quarters. He threw himself into his bunk and whimpered to himself. "She's _not_ just a gun… She's not just a gun…"

Usopp had been so flustered by walking in on Sabo and had been in such a hurry to leave that he had completely forgotten to ask about the large burn mark scar that he'd spotted on the Quartermaster's side and looked like it spread around to his back.

* * *

Two days later, the Straw Hats had made it the Baratie.

The bounty hunter duo called the Straw Hats to the deck and happily presented the restaurant that was designed to look like a fish floating in the middle of the ocean.

"Whoa! What a big fish!" Luffy exclaimed.

"But _why_ is it a fish?" Sabo wondered.

"Wow!" Nami gasped.

"That's so cool!" Usopp gushed.

"Hey… it looks like we're not the only ones coming for a bite to eat," Zoro warned them.

Everyone turned in time to see a marine ship close in from behind and then pull up alongside them.

"Who's that guy?" Luffy wondered as he pointed at a young gray-haired officer standing at the railing. He wore a fancy suit and had iron bolts on his hand.

"I am Marine Lieutenant 'Iron Fist' Fullbody," the Marine Officer announced. "Who is your Captain? I don't recognize your flag."

"I am!" Luffy replied. "I'm Monkey D. Luffy. We're the Straw Hat Pirates"

"And I'm Sabo the Quartermaster," Sabo added. "You don't recognize our flag because we just made it two days ago. We haven't been sailing for long."

"Two days ago?" Johnny whispered to Yosaku.

"Hahaha! What amateurs!" Yosaku laughed.

"I'm Usopp the Master Gunner."

"You didn't need to chime in," Zoro told him.

"You kidding?" Usopp questioned. "I'm _proud_ to be the Master Gunner of this crew! I'm telling _everybody_!"

"Wait a minute… I recognize you two," Lt Fullbody realized as he focused on the Bounty Hunter Duo. "You're those two-bit bounty hunters Johnny and Yosaku. Looks like you two bit off more than you could handle and got captured by pirates."

"Two-bit? This guy's insulting us!" Johnny realized.

"I think we should teach that snooty marine a lesson!" Yosaku decided.

The two Bounty Hunters lunged from the Going Merry to Fullbody's marine vessel.

 **POW! POW!**

And were quickly defeated and dropped barely conscious back onto the deck of the Going Merry.

"Wow… you guys are really weak," Luffy commented.

"Who were you guys calling amateurs?" Sabo asked.

"Hey… that guy's really strong!" Yosaku insisted.

"Almost… got him…" Johnny groaned.

Only Zoro noticed Nami as she picked up one of the fallen wanted posters that the bounty hunters had dropped when they came crashing back onto the Going Merry.

" **Fullbody, that's enough playing around. We have to go if we want to keep our reservation."**

"Right, of course, dear," Fullbody told his unseen date. He looked back at the Straw Hats. "You pirates are lucky that I'm off duty. I only came here to eat so I don't have time to fight you." Fullbody turned to one of his men and whispered. "Sink it." Then prepared to leave the ship with his date.

"HEY! THEY'RE AIMING THEIR GUNS AT US!" Usopp warned everyone. "Should we fire back?"

"I've got it!" Luffy called out as he jumped onto the railing as the Marines fired their cannons.

 **KA-BOOM-BOOM!**

"GUUM… GUUM… BALLOOOON!" Luffy's body stretched as he inflated himself to a much larger size. Fullbody, Johnny and Yosaku all gaped in surprise at the sudden display of Luffy's Devil Fruit Powers.

 **BA-BOING!**

"YOU CAN HAVE THESE BACK!" Luffy shouted as the cannonball bounced off his inflated belly.

 **KRASH-KRASH!**

Unfortunately, Luffy's aim was off and the cannonballs went flying off course and smashed through the roof of the Baratie.

"Oops…" Luffy mumbled sheepishly.

"WATCH WHO YOU'RE GIVING IT TO!" Usopp berated the Captain. "This is why _I'm_ the Master Gunner!"

Sabo took off his top hat a rubbed his forehead in annoyance. "Something tells me that I'm going to have my work cut out for me here."

A bunch of tough, angry-looking cooks came charging out of the Baratie looking to find the one responsible for damaging their restaurant.

Everyone was so caught up in the ensuing confusion that, once again, Zoro was the only one to notice that Nami still hadn't looked away from the Wanted Poster she'd taken and that she was regarding it with a grave but determined expression.

Fullbody smirked as he stepped off his ship onto the deck of the Baratie with his sexy date and pointed back at the Straw Hats. "Those pirates are the ones responsible for damaging the restaurant. It was the one with the straw hat."

Sabo glared after the marine as he smugly made his way inside. "Okay. I hate that guy and suddenly want something really bad to happen to him."

The cooks were led by a big scrappy-looking man with huge bulging Popeye forearms. "What's the big idea?"

"I didn't do it on purpose!" Luffy insisted.

"Yer comin' with us, ya pirate brat!" Patty snapped. "Yer gonna see the Head Chef!"

"Hold on, hold on," Sabo cut in, "As this crew's Quartermaster, I request that I come along so I can speak in my Captain's defense."

"Fine," Patty agreed. "Both of ya 're comin' ter see Head Chef Zeff!"

The other Straw Hats watched as the angry cooks dragged off their Captain and Quartermaster.

"Do you think Sabo will be able to talk them out of this?" Nami asked.

"I don't know," Usopp admitted as he eyed the holes the cannonballs had smashed in the Baratie. "That's some pretty extensive damage. I doubt they'll be able to just sweep it under the carpet."

"Something tells me that we may be here for a while," Zoro said.

* * *

Sabo's scar - There's a reason why the Sabo in my profile and story picture is missing his facial scar. He never got it. Which is why Sabo never had amnesia. Back in the Prologue when Saint Jalmack fired at Sabo's ship the second time he ended up blowing up a barrel behind Sabo. Sabo was caught in the explosion which resulted in a burn scar on his side that spreads around to his back. This shows that even though the encounter went differently, Sabo was still scarred by it both physically and mentally.

Sabo meets Sanji next chapter!

Silver Signing Off


	12. Baratie

_**BROTHER ON BOARD**_

Bluejay Blaze - The insanity is contagious and it is now spreading. Pray for Zoro and Nami because it's only a matter of time before they go round the bend too. But the questions is, if they do go crazy like the others... will they realize it or will they simply see their crazy as the new normal? Food for thought.

Guest - What else does Sabo do with Bonnie Anne? Well, he shoots stuff with her, defends towns with her, kills evil pirates with her and properly maintains her so he can continue to do those things with her. Also, a couple other crazier things which you'll see at the end of this chapter.

lostdog200 - You're quite welcome. And the gun-nuttiness is spreading. Poor Usopp never stood a chance.

Fairy of the Friz - Let's he honest here, most of the Straw Hats just sort of do their own thing without bothering to dig into each others' personal lives. In canon, the Straw Hats never even knew that Luffy and Nami had siblings until they met them. Sabo will share his about his scar and backstory/ambition when someone decides to ask about it. (Which, incidentally, will be at the tail end of the East Blue Saga). And cephalopods... hmm... I can already imagine the jokes about Sabo being confused for a fishman. He could also rival Robin in his ability to multitask. Although... I do like to keep tentacles and anime as far apart as possible...

Syluk - Yes. Mental scars. Remember, my Sabo never had amnesia so he remembers exactly what happened to him. Now his dream is to take down the Celestial Dragons. I think it's safe to say that Sabo bears a deep grudge. Could the grudge eventually lead to bigger anger problems and get him into trouble? Possibly. I guess we'll see. Also, welcome to the Bonnie Anne fan club! No one can resist the lure of the rifle for long! (Insert ominous lightning flash and maniacal laughter here)

Pippalina - I actually chose Bonnie Anne as Sabo's main weapon because she seemed to fit the Steampunk Victorian-custom-weapon theme. This is an Advanced Wheel-Lock Rifle with an added scope and custom revolving action. That means Bonnie is part sniper rifle and part revolver with the power of a magnum handgun. This covers all Sabo's bases as far as his gun-needs go. Back in chapter 9, he was able to snipe Jango's hand all the way from the top of the pass then turned around used the revolving action to send three waves of pirates flying back down the pass. That's the type of creative versatility I'm trying to come up with when I think of Sabo's Devil Fruit Power. I also need something that comes with different 'levels' so Sabo can kick things up a notch at Enies Lobby and then another notch Post Time Skip.

PipeDream - Yes! Yes! The madness! It is spreading! Today the Straw Hats, tomorrow the internet, next week THE WORLD! (Insert ominous lightning flash and maniacal laughter here)

Mikilia94 - What I was attempting to show was that Usopp, like Sabo and Luffy, sees Bonnie as more than just a rifle. Granted, this is Usopp, he's the nutjob that sees the spirit of the Going Merry then starts wearing a mask and a cape like a superhero AND THEN has the persona come to life and talk to him when he's scared. So the validity of his opinion can be called into question. Also, as you can probably tell from some of my responses on here, I have a very sarcastic sense of humor that I turn on at the drop of a top hat. Unfortunately, sarcasm doesn't always come across very clearly in this medium. Looking back, the sarcasm in my response to your last review didn't come across as well as I'd hoped so I'd like to apologize if you were in anyway offended by my harsh/sarcastic dismissal of Usopp in a relationship with a gun. I cherish every review that I get on here. Even those two-word reviews that I get from that one guest reviewer that I can never seem to think of a proper response to. Please know, that I would never intentionally offend you or anyone else that takes the time to review my story.

Monkey D. Funky - Welcome! I'm glad you like my story. Thanks for taking the time to review it. You mentioned problems with my sentence structure and grammar in your first review. Honestly, I've heard those things before about my writing but it's a habit that I can't seem to kick. I know what I want my work to say so that's how I see it when I read it. If you notice any glaring errors please feel free to point them out and I'll do my best to go back and fix them.

Hellfire000: In love with the story already? Thanks! I haven't even gotten into the good stuff yet. Negotiating at the Baratie is just the beginning. Sabo has already made some small changes to things but before long they'll become bigger ones and you'll be seeing a very different version of the canon One Piece story that we're all so familiar with.

* * *

 **Baratie-**

Marine Lieutenant Fullbody was fully enjoying the attention of the beautiful Moodie as well as a fair number of the other women in the room. But it was time to make things go even better for him. It was time for the wine.

"Hmm… this delicate scent," Fullbody remarked as he sniffed his wine. "It must be from Micqueot in the North Blue." Fullbody took a careful sip. "Yes, and this slight sourness mixed with a thick dry taste… This must be Itelzbulger Stein! Am I right, waiter?"

Moodie's eyes widened in amazement, she was clearly impressed, as was everyone else that had been listening in.

" **Not even close."**

Fullbody's head whipped around to see a blonde man in the suit with eyebrows that swirled at the end.

"And I'm not a waiter, I'm the Sous Chef," Sanji corrected him again. "All the waiters jumped ship so I'm just filling in." Sanji placed two bowls of soup on the tables. "Here's your soup. Enjoy it while its hot."

Fullbody flushed bright red as Sanji walked away.

"Hahahaha!" A woman at the next table laughed. "He was so sure of himself!"

" _What happened?" Fullbody wondered. "I called ahead and requested that wine specifically!"_

"You… uh… sure know a lot about wine," Moodie attempted to reassure him.

"I… I must be getting sick," Fullbody lied in an attempt to save face, "It's throwing off my palate."

* * *

Luffy and Sabo stood outside Head Chef Zeff's quarters on the top floor of the Baratie.

"Head Chef, we brought the bozos that wrecked the place," Patty said from in the room. "You sure yer alright?"

" **Of course I'm not alright!"** a stern older voice snapped. **"But forget about that. There's work to do. Bring 'em in then get back to the kitchen."**

"Right sir," Patty agreed. He turned and grabbed both Luffy and Sabo by their collars then chucked them into the room.

Sabo's attention was immediately drawn to Head Chef Zeff's long braided blonde mustache and the patch of blood that was dripping down his face from the base of his extremely tall chef's hat.

Luffy's attention was drawn lower to the Head Chef's peg leg. "GAAAHHH! I BLEW OFF YOUR FOOT!"

"Shut up, you idiot!" Zeff scolded him as he leaned forward and bopped Luffy on the head with his extremely tall chef's hat. "I was like this before. But you did injure me and blew a huge hole in my wall. You're gonna pay for that!"

"Nice to meet you, Head Chef Zeff," Sabo greeted the old man with a tip of his top hat. "I'd like to apologize for all the trouble. We were just minding our own business when some obnoxious marine opened fire on our new ship. Luffy here deflected the cannonballs but they ended up going off course and hit your place by accident."

"NO EXCUSES!" Zeff growled. "It doesn't change the fact that _he_ messed up my restaurant. If your bum Captain doesn't have money to pay off the damage then he's gotta work it off. One year and we'll call it square."

"A WHOLE YEAR!?" Luffy blurted out. "I CAN'T DO THAT! I'VE GOT IMPORTANT STUFF TO DO!"

"That seems a tad excessive," Sabo replied.

"Excessive?" Zeff repeated, "You want excessive? If you can't pay, and you don't wanna work off the damage, then there's only one other thing I'll accept."

"Really?" Luffy asked. "What's that?"

"I'll let you off the hook…" Zeff said, "If you give me… _your leg_."

"WHAT!?" Luffy shrieked.

"That's not gonna happen," Sabo refused.

"Oh, I see, too good to give me your leg, huh?" Zeff retorted.

"My brother's attached to his," Sabo replied. "He's kind of using it. Look, let's go back to your idea of him working off what he owes you. A year's a bit much. Let's try and be reasonable about this. After all, it _was_ an accident."

"Don't give me that crap!" Zeff barked. "Because of you idiots my wall _is gone_! So is the wall to the other cooks' quarters! First, we've gotta get the materials to fix it _then_ I've gotta pull some of my cooks outta the kitchen so they can do the labor! That's manpower that I can't spare since I'm already short staffed after the waiters jumped ship. And then there's all the customers that we're gonna lose cuz the place looks like a wreck with a giant gaping hole in the wall! You're gonna pay for that and it's gonna cost you exactly _one year_."

"Speaking of the restaurant's appearance," Sabo said, "Since you're the owner... perhaps you can tell me why this place is modeled to look like a fish?"

"NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" Zeff roared.

"Okay, look, how's this?" Sabo offered. "He's my younger brother and my Captain so I'm not going anywhere without him. What if I worked here too? You said yourself that you were short staffed. You'll probably need somebody to wait tables then."

"We have _no_ waiters," Zeff admitted, "Sanji - the Sous Chef - is filling in for them downstairs after they all jumped ship."

* * *

"WAITER!" Fullbody called out as he attempted to get revenge on Sanji for humiliating him with the wine with an 'ingenious' plan. "WHAT'S THIS FLY DOING IN MY SOUP?"

Sanji glanced down at the dead bug that Fullbody had swatted and placed in his own bowl. "I'm no bug expert… but that looks like the backstroke."

Fullbody bristled in annoyance as Sanji casually dismissed the fly. What _did_ catch the Sous Chef's interest was Fullbody's beautiful date.

"What a rare beautiful flower blooming in this vast sea," Sanji crooned as he took one of Moodie's hands in his. He gave her a look of devoted adoration.

"Oh…." Moodie gasped, surprised and overwhelmed by Sanji's blatant flirting and affection.

"How would you like to try some of my personal wine stock?" Sanji offered.

 **KRASH!**

Fullbody had enough and knocked his soup bowl off the table. "HEY! I'M A CUSTOMER!"

Sanji once again ignored Fullbody and seemed more concerned for the bowl of soup that he'd spilled. "You just had to take the fly out and you still could've eaten that…" Sanji reached out to clean up the shattered bowl and spilled soup.

 **TOMP!**

Fullbody stomped on Sanji's extended hand. "YOU'RE JUST A DUMB COOK! HOW DARE YOU MOCK ME! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?"

"Fullbody… calm down," Moodie stood up and placed her hands on his arm to try and calm him down. "That's enough. Let it go."

At this point, Fullbody was beyond rational thought. Sanji continued to humiliate him while treating him like was just a common bum that had wandered in off the street. He didn't want to calm down. He wanted revenge. Fullbody pushed Moodie aside so he could continue his fight.

Moodie's balance was already precarious due to her high heels. The shove caught her off guard and she fell to the ground. "Ouch…"

Fullbody suddenly realized that he now had Sanji's full attention. The boiling anger was instantly gone and was replaced with overwhelming terror. The Marine Lieutenant instantly realized that he'd just made a _huge_ mistake and that this wasn't going to end well for him.

* * *

"So I'll help out Sanji and fill in as a waiter and Luffy can be your chore boy," Sabo continued to negotiate, "Between the two of us that'll bring the one year down to six months. Since this _is_ a restaurant and we'll be working without pay… I'm hoping that you'll be able to provide our meals."

"I _am_ short-staffed," Zeff admitted, "Alright, fine, Top Hat. One year split between the two of you. That makes it six months each. But I'm not giving you punks free lodging. You've got a ship. You can sleep over there."

"See, now we're negotiating," Sabo replied.

"Sabo that still seems like a real long time," Luffy pointed out as he sat on a bit of the broken wall.

Sabo looked over at Luffy then eyed the gaping hole in the side of the room. He grinned and turned back to Zeff. "Actually, I just had another idea. You mentioned that you didn't want to waste your cooks by making them repair the damage we did to your restaurant. So what if _we_ repaired the damage?"

"You're gonna be too busy with your duties as waiter and chore boy to do that!" Zeff argued.

"You're right," Sabo agreed, "But our Bosun and Master Gunner won't be. I'll have to run this by them first, of course, but what if they work to repair the damage while Luffy and I work downstairs? I'm pretty sure they'll be game. We're Nakama so we're in this together. That means there'll be four of us working for you and I believe that should bring the six months down to three months each."

"That still seems like a long time," Luffy chimed in again. "We waited ten years to be pirates."

"But we're trying to establish ourselves as honorable pirates," Sabo reminded him. "That means we need to pay off our debts. We broke the restaurant so we're gonna fix it. Three months of all of us working together isn't nearly as bad as you working a whole year alone. We can also use that time to find our Ship's Cook."

"You brats are looking for a cook?" Zeff questioned.

"Yeah, that's why we came here," Luffy told him.

"Hm… most people just come for the food," Zeff noted. "But if you can get your other two crewmates to agree to it, you've got a deal."

 **Grumble…**

"Great, you said 'food'," Sabo muttered while Luffy rubbed his stomach. "I don't suppose you'd provide us with a meal so we can familiarize ourselves with the menu?"

"Don't push your luck, brat," Zeff snapped. He stood up and mumbled something about 'uppity blonde punks' then led them to the door, "I just know I'm gonna regret this but I'll introduce you to Sanji. He'll cover your training."

* * *

Patty the Fry Cook had just finished up in the washroom and was taking a detour through the dining room on his way back up to the kitchen. "Heh heh, the customer is King!" Patty recited. "That's our motto!" Patty passed through the dining room and froze in shock.

Sanji was holding a bloody, barely conscious Fullbody by the collar. Moodie had fled the restaurant.

"SANJI!" Patty yelled as he stormed across the room. "WHAT'RE YA DOIN' TER THAT CUSTOMER?"

"This bastard wasted soup and hurt a lady," Sanji stated. "So I taught him some manners." He tossed Fullbody aside like he was a sack of garbage.

"Customers're this place's life's blood!" Patty berated Sanji, "So what's his life's blood doin' drippin' all over the floor?"

"This… this place stinks…" Fullbody wheezed as he sat up on the ground. "I can't believe this is how you'd treat a paying customer! I'll report you to the government and they'll have you shut down!"

"I'LL SHUT _YOU_ DOWN!" Sanji snarled as he surged at the marine.

Patty grabbed Sanji and held him back.

"CRAP! SANJI'S FIGHTING ANOTHER CUSTOMER!" a cook called out from the kitchen door. He and another three cooks rushed over to help Patty restrain Sanji.

That was the sight that greeted Luffy and Sabo when Zeff led them down to the kitchen.

"I CAN'T STAND SPOILED OBNOXIOUS BASTARDS LIKE HIM!" Sanji shouted as he struggled against the four cooks holding him back. "LEMME AT HIM!"

Sabo took one look at the bloody marine who looked like he'd just gotten the worst beating of his life then turned and looked passed Zeff at Luffy and grinned. "I like him."

Head Chef Zeff pushed passed Luffy and Sabo, "SANJI! WHAT'RE YOU DOING MESSING UP MY PLACE?"

"Shut up, you old geezer!" Sanji spat.

"Head Chef, Sanji beat up this marine!" Patty the tattletale pointed out.

"YOU TRYIN' TO RUIN ME?" Zeff roared as he swung his peg leg around and kicked Sanji in the face.

 **THWAK!**

"AND YOU!" Zeff snarled as he rounded on Fullbody. "GET THE HELL OUT ALREADY!"

Zeff's peg leg lashed out again and this time he kicked the marine officer himself.

 **THWHAM!**

" _WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS PLACE?"_ Fullbody wondered. _"THEY RUN THIS RESTAURANT LIKE A PIRATE SHIP!"_

"How many times do I haveta tell ya?" Patty snapped at Sanji. "The customer is King!"

"Sure, as long as they agree to eat the slop you call food," Sanji retorted.

"Sanji! Patty!" Zeff scolded his rebellious charges, "If you're gonna fight. Do it in the kitchen."

"Wow, those are three tough cooks," Luffy noted.

"Maybe it won't be so bad working here," Sabo mused.

" **LIEUTENANT! LIEUTENANT FULLBODY!"** Everyone looked up to see a marines standing in the door. "That Krieg Pirate that we captured escaped!"

"WHAT?" Fullbody sputtered. "HOW? He was starving when we found him three days ago and we haven't fed him since."

"One of Don Krieg's men?" one of the diners repeated. "They call him the Strongest in the East Blue!"

 **BANG!**

The marine dropped to the ground and revealed a pirate with a pistol standing in the doorway.

"AAAAAAAHHH!" the customers screamed at seeing a marine murdered in front of them.

"Customer, party of one," Patty announced.

"He'd better not start trouble," Zeff growled.

"…" Sanji remained silent.

"He's a pirate?" Luffy questioned.

Sabo shook his head, "This place is nuts."

The pirate made his way in and seated himself at a table with his feet up. "This is a restaurant, right? Bring me food. I don't care what it is."

Patty went over to the table, "And… if ya don't mind me askin'… how will ya be payin' fer yer meal?"

"You take lead?" the pirate asked as he held his pistol to Patty's forehead.

"Well… if ya ain't got money…" Patty said, "THEN YA AIN'T A CUSTOMER!"

 **KRASH!**

Patty slammed his huge Popeye forearms down onto the pirate and smashed him through the chair.

"Damn it Patty," Zeff complained, "Don't bust up my chairs."

"Wow, he's strong," Luffy remarked.

"None of you knows how to treat a customer," Fullbudy grumbled as he stalked out the door completely ignored again. "I'm never coming back here again."

 **Grmmple…**

Everyone looked down at the fallen pirate.

"His stomach's rumbling," Sanji noted.

"Idiot…" the pirate grunted. "That was a fart. Hurry up and give me food."

"IF YER NOT PAYIN' FER FOOD YER NOT A CUSTOMER!" Patty yelled as he grabbed the pirate, hauled him off the floor and chucked him out the door. Patty grinned and turned back to the diners that had remained seated during the 'floor show'. "Dear customers! Sorry fer the commotion. Enjoy yer meals."

Sabo walked up between Zeff and Sanji. "Okay… I'm new to this whole restaurant-business but for future reference… am I supposed to beat up the spoiled obnoxious customers that pay for their food or the dirty pirates that don't?"

"Sanji, meet the new waiter," Zeff said. "You're training him."

Sanji looked over at Sabo, "First rule of the Baratie. We feed anyone who's hungry." With that said, the Sous Chef headed upstairs to the kitchen.

* * *

"Eat this," Sanji said as he placed a dish of food down outside next to the pirate.

The starving pirate took one look at the warm, freshly and beautifully prepared dish and dug in.

"I… I've never had anything so good in my entire life!" the pirate gushed. "I don't know what to say! I thought I was a goner for sure!"

"Good, huh?" Sanji asked.

Luffy looked over at Sabo as they watched the exchange from a nearby railing. "Now I like him too!" Luffy turned and called out to Sanji. "I FOUND YOU! MY NEW COOK!"

Sanji eyed Luffy and Sabo as they dropped down from the railing on to the side deck. "Oh, you're the new guys. I guess that old bastard's got you working off the damage you caused. Why'd you fire at us?"

"It was a cannonball fired in self-defense," Luffy insisted, "It just… went off course."

"That doesn't make any sense," Sanji told him.

"Blame that dumbass marine," Sabo said. "He fired cannonballs at us for no reason. Luffy deflected them but they ended up hitting the restaurant. Now we're working off the damage."

"I'm surprised the Head Chef didn't kick both of your heads in," Sanji admitted. "That geezer used to be a famous pirate. This restaurant is his treasure."

"Oh, then can _you_ tell us why this place is shaped like a fish?" Sabo inquired.

"It represents the old man's dream to find the All Blue," Sanji answered.

"What's that?" Luffy questioned.

A wide smile spread across Sanji's face. "The All Blue is a legendary ocean that's supposed to have every kind of fish in the world swimming through it. It's any true cook's dream to find it."

"Well if _you're_ a true cook, what're you doing here instead of searching for the All Blue?" Sabo asked.

"Yeah!" Luffy exclaimed, "Join our crew! You can sail with us and find the All Blue!"

"I refuse," Sanji stated.

"NO, _I_ REFUSE!" Luffy argued. "I REFUSE YOUR REFUSAL! You're a good cook so you're joining my crew!"

"Hey, at least listen to my reason," Sanji requested.

"Oh? What's that?" Luffy asked.

"NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" Sanji snapped.

"BUT YOU SAID TO LISTEN!" Luffy complained.

"Hey! Get your dumb hat outta my face!"

"DON'T INSULT MY HAT! I'LL SEND YOU FLYING!"

" **Uh… sorry to interrupt…"**

Everyone looked over to see that the pirate had finished his meal.

"I'm Gin, by the way," the pirate introduced himself. "I'm a member of the Krieg Pirates. But if you two are pirates and you're trying to recruit him and go to find this 'All Blue' do you mind telling me what _your_ goal is?"

"Easy," Luffy replied. "I'm gonna find the One Piece and become King of the Pirates."

Gin's expression turned grave. "Let me give you a piece of advice. Give up on your dream. Forget about going to the Grand Line. You're still young and you've got your whole lives ahead of you. Don't throw your lives away by sailing to the Grand Line."

"Do you know something about the Grand Line?" Sabo asked.

Gin paled, "I know barely anything… but all of its terrifying. The Grand Line is a sea of nightmares."

"You sure you're a Krieg Pirate?" Sanji questioned.

"Who's Krieg?" Luffy wondered.

"I… well, that's my friendly advice," Gin resolved. "I'm not going to stop you. Do what you want." Gin stepped onto a small raft. "Sanji, thank you for the food. You're my savoir. Can I come and eat again?"

"Sure, anytime," Sanji told him.

" **ENOUGH SLACKING OFF OUT HERE!"**

Everyone looked up to see Head Chef Zeff standing on a balcony outside the kitchen. Zeff clearly noticed the empty plate on the ground.

"Oh sorry…" Gin apologized, "Now you're gonna get in trouble for feeding me…"

Sanji stood up and casually kicked the plate off the deck into the water. "Why? There's no proof. Take care, Gin. Don't get caught again."

Gin dropped to his knees and gave his savoir Sanji a heartfelt bow before he sailed off.

"GET TO WORK YOU BUMS!" Zeff berated his Sous Chef and two new employees.

"Actually, we haven't gotten around to asking the others yet," Sabo pointed out. "Give us a moment to do that and then we'll get started."

"HURRY UP THEN!" Zeff shouted.

Sabo looked over Luffy as Sanji went back inside the restaurant, "And three months should give us plenty of time to change Sanji's mind."

"Yeah!" Luffy cheered. "We're gonna make Sanji our cook!"

The two brothers didn't notice it but Zeff smiled faintly before he headed inside.

* * *

"So that's the deal," Sabo finished explaining. He, Luffy, Zoro, Nami, Usopp and Bonnie were occupying six chairs around a table in the corner of the Baratie dining room. "I managed to talk him down to three months if the four of us work here together. You guys just have to fix the damage while Luffy and I work downstairs. Those three months will give Luffy and me time to recruit Sanji as our Ship's Cook."

"I signed on to be a pirate not a carpenter!" Usopp complained.

"But we're Nakama," Luffy reminded him. "If we stick together here we'll get through it just like everything else. Plus they're gonna give us free food!"

"You guys helped save my village…" Usopp admitted, "I guess I can help you out here. But just because I'm working as a carpenter this one time, don't get any ideas of making this my regular job!"

"I'm fine sticking around here," Zoro stated. "I agreed to sail with you guys and Johnny said the man I'm looking for was once sighted here. If I stick around for three months I'll have a greater chance of seeing him if comes back."

"Well I'm not!" Nami weighed in. "I don't have three months to wait around here while you guys play waiters and carpenters."

"That's why I didn't include you in the deal," Sabo replied. "Unlike Luffy, I'm honoring the terms you joined us under. Those terms are that you never officially joined. You're just aligned with us for the time being. It's the same reason why I didn't offer to pay off the damage using the treasure you stole. It's yours and we have no right to it."

"Sabo! Don't be mean!" Luffy protested. "Nami's one of us."

"She's sailing with us but she never actually agreed to join us as Nakama," Sabo reminded him. "She hates pirates and I'm not going to force her to be something she hates." Sabo looked over at the navigator, "So Nami, if we're here too long you can feel free to leave at any time."

Nami was conflicted. Part of her was disappointed that one of her friends didn't actually consider her a friend. But another part was grateful that he was willing to let her go and take care of her business. Seeing that wanted poster had reminded her of the berries she was nearly done collecting.

Zoro and Usopp were just surprised that Luffy and Sabo were actually arguing over something.

"NO!" Luffy argued. "Nami's Nakama!" Luffy looked over at Nami, "Just give us some time Nami! Maybe we can get the old man to let us go early!"

"In the meantime," Sabo said. "I want to make the agreement with the Head Chef official." He signed an official-looking piece of paper and slid it into the middle of the table. "This is a contract with the deal written on it. Sign to show you agree to the terms and we can start and count today as our first day."

Zoro took the contract and signed his name. Usopp followed and signed with a flourish then slid it over to Luffy.

"Luffy, it's worth noting that I added a clause there that allows Zeff to break the contract and release us from our obligation at any time," Sabo informed him. "So if you _can_ convince him to let us go early, that's our way out of this."

Luffy nodded and scribbled his name.

"HEY!" Usopp complained. "You ruined my fancy signature!"

" **You punks done yet?"** The Straw Hats looked up to see Head Chef Zeff looming over them.

"Just finished," Sabo announced as he handed Zeff the contract.

"Good, now get to work!" Zeff ordered. "Chore Boy, get to the kitchen. Waiter, start waiting tables. Carpenters, get upstairs. I wanna know how much material I need by the end of the day." Zeff paused and looked at Nami. "You, order something or get out."

And so the Straw Hats split up. Luffy tied on an apron and went into the kitchen. The sound of loud crashes and shouting soon followed.

"I've got some tools back on the Going Merry," Usopp told Zoro as they headed upstairs.

Sabo draped his coat over the back of Bonnie's chair and placed his top hat next to the rifle on the seat. He was left in his black boots, beige pants, white collared shirt, blue waistcoat and his cravat tie as he went over to Sanji.

"Right, let's get started," Sabo prompted.

Sanji nodded. "Here's how this is gonna work. I've got seniority so I get to wait on all the pretty women. You can have the guys, the old broads and the couples with kids."

Sabo shrugged, "Works for me. I'm spoken for."

Sanji raised a swirled eyebrow and glanced over at the Straw Hats' table. The second he saw Nami his eyes went wide and his jaw dropped causing his cigarette to fall to the floor.

"You… lucky… bastard…" Sanji growled.

"Yeah, I know," Sabo agreed. "Wait a minute…" He followed Sanji's line of sight to the table in the corner. "Not the girl! The rifle!"

Sanji blinked. "You're dating a…" Sanji trailed off when he realized something more important. "Wait, does that means _she's_ single?"

"Yes," Sabo answered. "But I'd be careful with that one. She's a crafty thief. She's likely to break both your heart and your wallet." Sabo blinked and realized that Sanji was no longer next to him. The Sous Chef had been gone since the first word of Sabo's answer. That was all he needed to know.

"O'blessed are the oceans for bringing me this fine day!" Nami's eyes widened as she suddenly found the blonde Sous Chef swooning over her. "O' love! Laugh at me if you will at my poor soul who cannot endure your torturous passions! If I could be with you, I'd walk any path be it that a pirate or even a devil! But alas! It's tragic but there is a great obstacle between us!"

"And by obstacle, do you mean me, Sanji?" Zeff asked as he stood nearby and looked up from the Straw Hats' employment contract. "You should take this chance and go be a pirate. I don't need a guy like you in my restaurant."

"You bastard!" Sanji snarled. "I'm the Sous Chef at this restaurant! What do you mean I'm not needed?"

"You fight with half the customers then drool over the other half," Zeff stated, "The rest of the cooks don't like you and you can't even cook a decent meal. I don't need baggage like you dragging down this restaurant. Go be a pirate and get the hell outta here."

"SO THAT'S HOW IT IS, HUH?" Sanji demanded. "YOUR OTHER COMPLAINTS DON'T MATTER! BUT HOW _DARE YOU_ INSULT MY COOKING!" Sanji grabbed Zeff by the collar. "I'M STAYING NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY!"

"GET YOUR HANDS OFFA ME!"

 **KRASH!**

Sanji went flying and nearly landed in Nami's lap as he crashed through the Straw Hats' table,

 **KER-CHOW!**

Bonnie Anne went off. The bullet blasted straight up through the ceiling of the dining room, all the way through the kitchen, and blasted through the floor of the third-floor barracks.

"WHAT'S GOING ON DOWN THERE?" an angry cook demanded as he stared at the holes in the kitchen floor and ceiling.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?" Zoro yelled as he and Usopp peered down through the hole in the third floor.

"YOU GUYS ARE FIXING THAT TOO!" Zeff shouted up at them.

"Thanks a lot Bonnie!" Usopp grumbled.

"Aand he's relapsed," Nami noted as she eyed Usopp. "It's hopeless now."

"Yay! You got permission!" Luffy cheered from the kitchen door where he'd been listening. "Now you can join us!"

"SHUT UP!" Sanji snapped as he sat up then glared at Zeff. "YOU CAN'T CHASE ME OUTTA HERE! I'M GONNA TAKE OVER AS HEAD CHEF ONCE YOU DIE!"

"Not gonna happen," Zeff retorted as he turned to leave. "I'm gonna live forever."

"Lippy bastard..." Sanji growled.

* * *

"So you say you managed to escape the marines and that a cook saved your life?"

"Yes, Don Krieg," Gin answered. "Forgive me, I didn't know the flagship was in such horrible condition. Please, let me guide you to that restaurant… I'll take you to the Baratie."

* * *

And so as night fell, the Straw Hats continued their first day at the Baratie. Usopp and Zoro got their supply estimate to Zeff, Luffy broke everything he touched and Sabo proved to be a charismatic and surprisingly capable waiter.

"HEY! GIMME BACK MY DINNER!" a loud man suddenly yelled.

Sanji turned to see Luffy stuff the food he'd just swiped off the man's plate into his mouth. The Sous Chef growled and made his way over. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Oh, hey Sanji!" Luffy greeted him. "Sabo went on break. He asked me to cover him."

 **THWAK!**

Sanji kicked Luffy over the head then dragged him up to the kitchen and tossed him inside. "TAKE THIS GUY BACK!"

"WE DON'T WANT HIM!" Patty called out. "The brat's already broken a dozen dishes!"

"And I could've broken more if you didn't stop me!" Luffy added.

"SOMEONE COVER THE DINING ROOM!" Sanji ordered. "I'm gonna go get the _competent_ waiter back!"

Sanji stormed off and headed up another floor to the staff dining room/break room.

Sanji peered through the window in the door and spotted Sabo slow dancing with his rifle. Sanji rolled his eyes and raised his hand to knock when Sabo started to _sing_ to his rifle.

"You're just too good to be true

Can't take my eyes off you

You'd be like heaven to touch

I wanna hold you so much

At long last love has arrived

And I thank God I'm alive

You're just too good to be true

Can't take my eyes off you"

Sanji lowered his hand and turned to lean back against the door as Sabo continued to serenade his rifle.

"Pardon the way that I stare

There's nothing else to compare

The sight of you leaves me weak

There are no words left to speak

But if you feel like I feel

Please let me know that's real

You're just too good to be true

I can't take my eyes off you"

Sanji once again raised his hand to knock when Sabo launched into a very enthusiastic chorus.

"I love you baby

And if it's quite alright

I need you baby

To warm the lonely nights

I love you baby

Trust in me when I say

Oh pretty baby

Don't let me down I pray

Oh pretty baby

Now that I've found you stay

And let me love you, baby

Let me love you…"

Sanji recovered and quickly knocked before Sabo could start the next verse.

"Eh? Who's there?" Sabo asked as he turned to the door.

Sanji let himself in. He noted that Sabo still had his rifle in a tight embrace. "You're needed back in the dining room."

"What? I've got another ten minutes left of my break," Sabo protested.

"Normally, that'd be the case," Sanji replied. "But the idiot that you got to cover you started swiping food off the customers' plates. So now your break's over."

"Damn it Luffy," Sabo complained as he tucked Bonnie Anne under his arm stalked passed Sanji out of the room. "It's bad enough you got us into this mess. Now I can't even get a moment's peace."

Sanji casually leaned back against the doorframe and lit up a cigarette. "It may be the single weirdest relationship that I've ever seen… but there's no denying he loves that rifle."

* * *

Yes, that was Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons' _Can't Take My Eyes Off You_ which, for the record and the sake of a disclaimer, I don't own and make no money off of using in this story. If you don't recognize the song at all, ask your parents, The Four Seasons were popular in America back in the 60's. Why that song? Don't know. I've got a weird taste in music that spans show-tunes, oldies, Disney songs, various theme songs, Flogging Molly and even includes a few sea shanties. I don't know enough about Japanese songs and proper anime music to translate it so I stuck with what I know.

Silver signing off


	13. Krieg

_**BROTHER ON BOARD**_

Bluejay Blaze - Is that a dad joke? It just seemed like the sort of casual response Sanji would give to Fullbody's 'devious' ploy.

Syluk - Thanks for pointing that out. It's fixed. Vivi and Sabo are going to have a rocky relationship due to her bloodline. It's going to be up to Vivi to prove to Sabo that she isn't just another snobby elitist princess. You'll actually get a taste of Sabo's 'anger issues' in the next chapter. When you finish reading this one I'm pretty sure you'll know what triggers it. Heeheehee 'triggers' Sabo. Gun Pun. Now that can of worms has been opened. Beware future Gun Puns - the deranged second cousin of the Skull Joke.

Juliedoo - I'm glad I got you laughing. That's why I'm writing this. There will be serious moments but I'm mainly trying to make this a lighthearted fun story. I'd count it as a win if I got you to laugh just once. If I'm making you laugh a lot then my story is serving its purpose and I've accomplished what I set out to do. Yay!

Fairy of the Friz - Trust the Love Cook to understand love... even in an extremely weird scenario like this one. I think at this point everyone can see how much Sabo cares for Bonnie. The ones that truly understand his love like Luffy, Usopp and now Sanji will realize that Bonnie being a rifle doesn't matter at all to Sabo.

lostdog200 - You're the one that's taken the time to review my story four times now. So thank _you_. I'll respond to anyone that takes the time to review my story. Signed in or not. And when the day comes that I receive my first flame telling me to go burn in hell for wasting everyone's time with a romance between a human and a gun, I'll respond to that too. And not to nitpick, but isn't 'Awwwww' the proper response to something adorable? To me, 'Aaaaaahhh' sounds like you're screaming. Anyway, see/read you next week! Same time, same place!

psychopathonadiet -Thanks! I'm doing my best to shake things up little by little and make the story interesting. Does this mean I can put you down as the newest member of the Bonnie Anne fan club? We're slowly but surely gaining members. I may actually post a roster on my profile at some point.

rasEnshur1KEn - Wow! Color me flattered. I set out to capture the zany humor from One Piece while adding my own bit of silliness to it and it looks like I managed it. Thanks! There will be romance other than SaBonnie. But One Piece is a really, really, really long series so it's going to be a slow burn. Hang in there, we'll get to it eventually. Bonnie eating a Zoan Devil Fruit... that's a really interesting idea that warrants consideration. Instead of Sabo eating the fruit Bonnie would have it and fully take on a life of her own. It would also fit the pattern of each of the ASL brothers having a different class of Devil Fruit even though Sabo didn't 'technically' eat it. I'll have to keep an eye out for a usable fruit.

Guest - It would be funny to have both Bonnie Anne and Wado Ichimonji 'eat' a Devil Fruit and take on a life and rivalry of their own. But as you said the problem with that is Zoro. He cares about his sword but he doesn't have Sabo's insane level of dedication to his weapon. I don't think he'd want to do anything to mess with his/Kuina's sword. However, as I mentioned to rasEnshur1KEn, the idea of feeding Bonnie a Zoan Devil Fruit intrigues me. The first step to making that possible is to have Sabo learn about the process. I guess we know which Officer Agent Sabo's going to be facing in Alabasta.

sarahgri99 - Sabo the official businessman/negotiator aka the Quartermaster. You probably didn't realize how badly Luffy needed one until I put Sabo into the story. I figured that since the rest of the Straw Hats were just going to be sitting around doing nothing while Luffy worked at the Baratie then I could put them to use and share the load. Now one year is broken down to three months each. Not nearly as daunting. But thanks to Luffy, the Straw Hats are still going to get away in just three days. Think of all the kingdoms that would've been destroyed if Luffy was stuck at the Baratie and lost his main character ability to be at the right place at the right time to conveniently stop a villain's evil plan just as its finally coming into fruition.

Also, I think I'm going to stick with SaBonnie for the official ship name. I know One Piece ships usually just have one syllable of the couples' names. But fusing names together to create a celebrity couple name isn't unheard of either. Take Brat Pitt and Angelina Jolie's 'Brangelina' for example. So SaBonnie doesn't seem weird to me. But that's just me being neurotic. Feel free to call the SaboxBonnie ship whatever you want. P.S. I refer to One Piece pairings as 'ships' because there are pirates involved.

Pippalina - You're right about the lack of levels in Zoan Fruit. I don't Sabo to go too far into Chopper's territory. However, rasEnshur1KEn had the really cool idea of 'feeding' Bonnie the Zoan-type Devil Fruit. Sabo would then be associated with a Zoan Fruit and could 'technically' complete the ASL Bros/fruit classes pattern. This would also leave Sabo open to eating another fruit further down the line. If I use a Zoan Fruit for Bonnie I'm definitely going to go with a Kitsu Kitsu no Mi/Fox Fox Fruit (or would it be Inu Inu no Mi Model: Kitsune/Dog Dog Fruit Model: Fox). I think that would be a cool tribute to the original Bonnie Anne character from Pirate 101 since the Advanced Wheel Lock Rifle with added scope and custom revolving action is the weapon she uses when she's promoted to Fox Sniper.

Pipedream - I know what you mean about characters being 'untouchable'. The last thing I want if for Sabo to come across as an OP Gary Stu. The only one who has actually even hit Sabo during a battle was Bonnie! A major part of that is the result of Sabo being a distance fighter. Sabo guns down most of his enemies before they can even reach him and he ends up leaving battles unscathed. But as the story progresses the enemies will get stronger and Sabo will begin to be physically challenged. No one has really shaken Sabo mentally either. But Sabo does have some major triggers (heehee Gun Pun), the main one being elitism: people that think they're better than everyone else because of their bloodline. I'm sure you can think of a few One Piece villains that have that kind of personality. Those will be the ones to set Sabo off. I just ask that you give me time. Remember, we're still in the East Blue which is like the kiddie pool compared to the Grand Line. As for the music, I think it would be difficult to search through a slew of dubs/translations to find lyrics that I'm looking for when I already know a song that has the words I need.

A Reader - I'm glad to know that my story resonated with you enough to motivate you to actually write a review. Also, THANKS FOR WRITING MY 100TH REVIEW!

Stormy Vixen - I'm glad you like Bonnie. You can probably tell that I'm having a blast writing the SaBonnie relationship. Thanks for reviewing!

EquinoxKnight01 - If you got to this point... thanks for reading and thanks for the reviews!

* * *

 **Krieg-**

Two days later, the Straw Hats were still working at the Baratie, despite Luffy's best efforts. The rubber pirate broke practically everything that he came in contact with but Head Chef Zeff refused to fire him. It seemed like the more Luffy broke the more determined Zeff became to keep him at the Baratie for his full three-month sentence.

Zoro and Usopp's repair supplies had arrived. Zoro had traded his swords for a saw and was cutting away the jagged edges from the holes in the wall so they'd have a more manageable hole to repair.

"Day three…" Sabo muttered as he climbed out from the men's quarters in the Going Merry and stood on the deck.

Nami was the only one on the deck of the Going Merry, "Late start?"

"Bonnie wasn't feeling well today," Sabo told her. "I bought her back here so she can have a lie in." Nami rolled her eyes. "Hey… what's that?" Sabo pointed to a speck on the horizon.

Nami squinted. "It looks like a ship. And it's a pretty big one too. It's coming this way."

The ship got closer and it became clear that it wasn't just 'pretty big'. The ship was an enormous _galleon_ that towered over the Baratie and was easily three times the size of the three-story fish-themed restaurant.

"That flag… those hourglasses…" Sabo noted as he eyed the Jolly Roger which featured a skull and crossbones with red hourglasses hanging between the ends of the bones. "That's Don Krieg's ship."

"You suddenly know who that is?" Nami asked.

"After meeting Gin, I did my research," Sabo informed her. "Turns out one of the cooks, Carne, knows all the pirate legends in the East Blue. Don Krieg is one of the most notorious pirates in this ocean with a bounty of seventeen million berries. His crew is enormous. He's got an armada of fifty ships and five thousand men." He motioned to the snarling Sabre-tooth Tiger figurehead. " _That one_ is Krieg's flagship galleon _the Dreadnaught Saber_. A pretty bad-ass name for a ship, if you ask me."

"Well it looks like its seen better days," Nami observed.

The Dreadnaught Saber boasted numerous massive sails but they were all worn, torn and frayed. The ship's massive sides were marred with numerous scratches and puncture holes. Krieg's ship looked like it had gotten off on the losing end of a fight with a horrible storm.

"I'm no Pirate Thief," Sabo admitted, "But if I was, I'd definitely rob that ship."

"Are you cra—wait, yeah you are," Nami realized. "You just said he has five thousand men! It's not a crew of two dozen men like the Black Cat Pirates or a bunch of circus idiots like Buggy's crew! This Krieg-guy sounds like the real deal. I'm not risking my life to steal from him."

"Too bad," Sabo said, "Looks like this would be the perfect time to do it. I doubt the crew's in any better condition than that eyesore of a ship. Otherwise, they would've started repairing it." Sabo shrugged. "Anyway, I should probably get to the restaurant. I doubt there are any pretty girls on that ship so Sanji's gonna make me wait on them."

Sabo turned to leave but spotted Johnny and Yosaku on their ship, "Hey guys, you mind keeping an eye on the Merry? With these pirates around you can never be too careful."

"Sure thing, Sabo-bro!" Johnny replied.

"Sabo-bro?" Yosaku repeated. "That sounds weird."

"I'll think of something else then," Johnny assured him.

"Yeah, don't hurt yourselves," Sabo advised. "Just keep an eye on the ship."

Nami stared after Sabo as he left the Merry and slipped into the Baratie through the back door. "I almost have all the money I need…" she mused to herself as she cast her gaze back up at the ravaged galleon. "Maybe… it'll be worth a look…"

* * *

"Wow, what a sad-looking ship," Usopp remarked as he and Zoro stared through the hole in the Baratie's roof at the Dreadnaught Saber. "I almost feel sorry for those guys."

"They might cause trouble…" Zoro commented. "Maybe we should slip downstairs to make sure everything's okay."

"Why did I _know_ you were going to say that?" Usopp groaned.

* * *

All twenty-three cooks on the Baratie staff had left the kitchen and gathered down in the dining room upon seeing the Dreadnaught Sabre approach.

"Do you think Gin came back to thank you?" Luffy asked Sanji.

"Not likely," Sanji replied.

"That ship… is in complete shambles," Zeff remarked.

"To do that kind of damage to ship…" Sanji noted, "That's not the work of a mere human. They must've been caught in some kind of natural disaster."

The front door swung open. Gin had indeed returned but he was supporting a much larger man who looked like he was as starved as Gin had been when he'd visited the ocean restaurant.

"So that's Don Krieg," Sanji noted.

"I guess I'll have to seat them," Sabo resolved as he came up behind him.

Sanji turned to stare at him, "When did you get here?"

"I didn't leave," Sabo lied as he slipped off his blue coat and top hat which clearly gave away the fact that he'd just arrived, "I've been here the whole time."

 **"Sorry for intruding…."** Don Krieg spoke. **"But could you spare some food and water? If it's money you want… I've got plenty…"**

"Right then, welcome to the Baratie, Mr. Krieg," Sabo greeted the infamous pirate. He threw Krieg's other arm over his shoulder. "Let's get you to a table." Together with Gin, Sabo guided Don Krieg to a table in the middle of the restaurant and got him seated. "Today's specials are sautéed blue salmon which was freshly caught this morning and a prime cut of steak. I should warn you though, Carne's in charge of the meat dish today. He tends to char everything so if you order that I'd suggest asking for one stage rarer than you actually want."

"Ooooo! They both sound great! I'll have both of 'em!" Luffy announced.

"You don't get to eat yet!" Sanji scolded him.

"HEY! DON'T DISS MY COOKING, NEW GUY!" a brown haired cook with stubbly beard shouted.

"Hmph, cheeky blonde brats," Zeff muttered.

Everyone else in the Baratie was shocked speechless by the fact that Sabo was treating the infamous 'Pirate Admiral' Don Krieg like a regular customer.

"Since you look like you're starving," Sabo continued, "I'll give you a menu so you can pick an appetizer that we can get to you right away." Sabo placed a menu on the table in front of Don Krieg. "While you look at that I'll get you some water."

Sabo turned to go but Patty grabbed him by the back of his vest and held him back. "Just what do ya think yer doin', new guy?"

"Waiting on a customer," Sabo replied. "That's my job, isn't it?"

"That ain't no customer!" Patty insisted. "That's Don Krieg!"

"But this time we've got money!" Gin protested.

"WE'RE NOT GIVIN' THIS SCUMBAG A DROP O' WATER!" Patty sneered. "THE ONLY THING WE'LL DO HERE IS CALL THE MARINES SO HE CAN BE ARRESTED!"

"Please… please…" Krieg pleaded. "I'm so hungry… anything…"

"Look, he's starving," Sabo pointed out.

"PLEASE! IF YOU DON'T FEED HIM HE'LL DIE!" Gin begged.

"If he's gonna starve then I say let him do it!" Patty exclaimed. "The world'll be better off! If we give him even a scrap of food the first thing this dog'll do is turn on our restaurant!"

"Please…" Krieg croaked. "I won't! I promise! I'll withdraw peacefully! I beg you! Anything… water… broth… the uh…." Krieg glanced down at the menu and added hopefully, "House Special Stir Fry?"

"That comes with a side of rice," Sabo informed him. "You want white or brown?"

"Brown," Krieg requested.

Sanji nodded and left the room.

"WE'RE NOT FEEDING HIM AND THAT'S FINAL!" Patty roared.

Sabo folded his arms across his chest. "You know, it's that kind of attitude that makes me wonder how this place gets _any_ customers. Sanji regularly pisses off the guys with the girlfriends, you kick out the pirates that can't pay, and now you're refusing service to a pirate who _can_ pay?"

"This guy's no mere pirate!" Patty insisted. "He's as dirty as they come! There'll never be a better time to arrest this bum!"

"Sounds like someone forgot the first rule of the Baratie," Sabo noted.

 **"Outta the way, Patty."**

 **THWAK!**

Sanji foot collided with the side of Patty's face and sent the Fry Cook flying. The Sous Chef placed two dishes down in front of Don Krieg, "Here then. House Special Stir Fry with brown rice."

Krieg dove into the meal. He didn't even bother with silverware. He just grabbed the food off of his plate and out of the bowl and shoveled it into his mouth.

Sabo dropped some napkins next to Krieg. "If you're gonna eat like that you'll need some extra napkins." He casually poured water into a cup and placed it down behind Krieg's dish. "Enjoy."

"SANJI! TAKE THAT FOOD AWAY FROM HIM!" Carne shouted. "You don't understand what you're doing! That's 'Foul Play' Krieg! He started out by breaking out of prison and disguising himself as a marine! He used that disguise to kill a Marine Captain then used that ship to attack innocent towns! He flies the white flag then opens fire! There's no low that he won't stoop to! LETTING A DEMON LIKE THAT STARVE TO DEATH IS FOR THE GOOD OF THE WORLD!"

Don Krieg suddenly surged up out of his chair then lunged forward and hit Sanji and Sabo with a big double clothesline.

 **WHA-WHAM!**

The cook and waiter went flying then skidded across the room.

"DON KRIEG! YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN'T!" Gin cried out. "I guided you here under the condition that you wouldn't harm the restaurant! We both owe our lives to Sanji!"

Krieg grabbed Gin's shoulder and squeezed.

"AAAUUUGHH!" Gin howled in pain and dropped to the ground.

Don Krieg calmly fished into his cloak pocket. "That was a great meal. My strength is returning already. I feel like my old self again." Krieg pulled out a coin and tossed it across the room onto Sabo. "There's your tip, waiter." Don Krieg looked up and grinned. "Nice restaurant… **I'll take it**."

Don Krieg's menacing words cleared the restaurant in an instant. The customers ran out of the dining room with their meals forgotten. They quickly boarded the ships that they had come in and fled. No one had any interest in being caught in the middle of a confrontation between the infamous Don Krieg and the fighting cooks of the Baratie. Soon only the Baratie staff and their new hires remained.

"My old ship's a wreck," Don Kreig stated as he stood over Gin. "After I finish my business with you cooks, I'll take this ship as my new one. But first, I've got a hundred men starving back on my ship. You'll prepare one hundred meals for me to bring to them."

"SEE!" Carne called out as he pointed accusingly at Sanji and Sabo while they slowly sat up.

"A hundred berries?" Sabo questioned as he picked up the coin Krieg tossed at him. "Cheap bastard." Sabo looked over at Sanji. " _Now_ can we kick his ass?"

"Not yet," Sanji said as he stood up. "First, we've got a hundred meals to prepare."

 **CLICK!**

Sanji suddenly found all the cooks pointing their guns at him.

"Are you Krieg's agent, Sanji?" one of the cooks accused him.

"No, I'm just a cook," Sanji announced. "Shoot me if you want. But it's always going to be my job to feed people that are hungry. It doesn't matter who they are. Pirates, Marines, beautiful women or those obnoxious pricks that come with them, if they come into this restaurant they'll be fed."

"Whoa! Cool!" Luffy gasped.

"First rule of the Baratie…" Sabo remarked.

"Sanji, I know that ya feed the pirates that I chase off sometimes," Patty admitted, "And I'm not gonna argue over who's right or wrong. That's the past. But this time, I know I'm right! Krieg said he's gonna try 'n' take this restaurant. If you feed his men yer supplin' him with the way ter do just that!" Patty turned and glared at Krieg. "THIS RESTAURANT MEANS THE WORLD TO US! YER NOT TAKIN' IT!"

"Most of the cooks here were too rough and got kicked out of their other restaurants," Carne continued, "This is the only place that would take us! We're won't give up the Baratie to the likes of you."

Krieg shook his head, "You seem to misunderstand me. I'm not _asking_ for this ship… I'M ORDERING YOU TO GIVE IT TO ME! NO ONE DISOBEYS MY ORDERS!"

 **"ORDER UP THEN!"** Everyone turned to see a recovered Patty holding a cannon that looked like a lobster. "YEH'VE HAD YER MEAL! NOW HERE'S YER DESSERT! MEATBALL OF DOOM!"

 **KA-BOOOOM!**

Patty blasted Krieg and blew him backwards through the door.

"Damn, I busted the door," Patty noted, "The Head Chef'll have my head. Oh well, small price to pay fer bein' rid o' that scum."

"Where'd that old guy go anyway?" Sabo wondered. Head Chef Zeff had vanished at some point after Krieg had made his order for a hundred meals.

"What about his ship and starving crew?" Sanji asked.

"Butter it up and roast it!" Patty replied. "If his men 're half as starved as he is they won't put up any fight at all!"

 **"Is that really the best dessert you've got?"** The cloud of smoke by the door cleared to reveal Don Krieg standing there completely unharmed. The reason for his condition was most likely the gold body arm that had been revealed now that his cloak was torn off. **"If you serve that weak crap for dessert then it's probably a good thing I'm putting this restaurant out of business."**

"THAT BASTARD'S WEARIN' BODY ARMOR!" Patty exclaimed as he picked up a pitchfork, "GET 'IM!"

The other cooks drew their chef's knives and charged across the dining room at Krieg.

"IMPUDENT FOOLS!" Krieg roared. The shoulder pads and side panels on his body armor folded back to reveal gun barrels. Two pistols slid out of Krieg's arm guards into his hands and he opened fired.

 **BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM!**

The charging cooks went flying backwards. "YOU WORMS THINK YOU CAN DEFY ME? I'M THE STRONGEST THERE IS! This indestructible Wootz Steel Armor makes me invincible! And these diamond encrusted gauntlets can crush anything! My entire body is an unstoppable lethal weapon! I have a fleet of fifty ships and command five thousand men! I've never lost a battle! If _anyone_ has the right to be called 'Don', IT'S ME! SO WHEN I TELL YOU TO GIVE ME YOUR SHIP, YOU'LL SHUT UP AND DO IT! NO ONE DEFIES ME!"

 **"Here."** Head Chef Zeff placed a massive sack of food in front of Krieg. **"One hundred meals. Take them to your men."**

"HEAD CHEF ZEFF!" The cooks shouted in alarm.

"How could you give them food?" Carne exclaimed. "They'll just come and attack the restaurant!"

"That's only if they have any fighting spirit left," Zeff replied. He smirked at Krieg. "isn't that right, defeated warriors of the Grand Line?"

"You're… 'Red Leg' Zeff…" Krieg realized as his eyes widened in surprise.

* * *

"I can't ever tell Sabo… but he was totally right," Nami thought out loud as she stepped over yet another starving and helpless Krieg Pirate. Most of the crew was unconscious. Some had even starved to death. The ones that weren't either were in no condition to chase her let alone stop her. "This is probably the easiest score I've ever had."

Nami stopped when she came to large door with a metal knob that made it look like a vault. "I bet that's the treasure hold."

Nami carefully eyed the large man that was slumped against the wall in front of the door. He was tall with dark hair and for some reason wore an outfit that consisted of two huge, round, metal pearl-encrusted plates. He also wore a helmet on his head that looked like a giant pearl.

"Is that a real pearl?" Nami wondered as she stared at the large man's helmet. She couldn't help herself and reached out and give it a quick flick. "Nope. Just plated." Nami shook her head and looked passed the man at the vault like door he was propped up against. "Let's get to the reason I came here…"

The master thief made quick work of cracking the vault door and slipped inside.

 **KA-CHING!**

"Whoa!" Nami gasped as berri signs appeared in her eyes. The walls of the vault were line with chests that were filled with gold and money-filled bags. "This is _way_ more than I need! There's gotta be something like twenty million berries in here!"

Nami made her way through the vault and took the bags of paper money. "I can't afford to get greedy. There's no way I can carry all this by myself. I'll just take what I need and get out of here. Then I can finally put this eight year nightmare behind me…"

Nami eventually left the vault with a large sack containing five money bags slung over her shoulders. "Five million berries. This should do it. Now I just need to get back to the ship and get out of here."

* * *

Don Krieg had just revealed the Head Chef Zeff was once the former pirate captain 'Red Leg' Zeff. He was once famous for his deadly kicks that often left his legs colored by his opponent's blood. Equally impressive was the fact that 'Red Leg' Zeff had spent a year in the Grand Line and had returned alive. Rumors said that Zeff had died in a storm but it appeared that he had only lost one of his famous legs and retired to become a cook.

Despite being defeated by the Grand Line, Don Krieg wasn't done with the world's most dangerous and most mysterious ocean. He wanted Zeff log from his time in the Grand Line. Zeff had point blank refused to hand it over stating that it was a sentimental memento the time he'd spent there with his Nakama.

"I had enough power to conquer that sea!" Krieg insisted, "I had enough manpower, enough ambition! The only thing I lacked was information. So since you won't hand over your log… I'll just steal it from you along with this restaurant! Then I'll reassemble my fleet and return to the Grand Line where I'll find the One Piece treasure and become King of the Pirates!"

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" Don Krieg turned and stared at Luffy for the first time. "If anyone in this room is gonna be King of the Pirates… it's me!"

"Chore Boy! Stand down!" Carne warned him.

"No way!" Luffy refused. "I'm not backing down from this!"

"You want to take that back, brat?" Krieg growled.

"Nope, I said what I meant," Luffy insisted, "I'm gonna be Pirate King. Not you."

 **"Luffy! You shouldn't be picking a fight with Don Krieg!"**

 **"Shut up. No one asked you."**

Luffy turned to see Usopp and Zoro seated at a table in the corner while Sabo was sitting on it.

"Getting into a fight, Luffy?" Zoro asked. "I'll lend a hand."

"Fifteen million, sixteen million, now seventeen," Sabo remarked, "It would make sense for us to take down the lousy tipper."

"Don't worry guys," Luffy told them, "I can handle this."

"HAHAHAHA!" Krieg laughed. "Is _that_ your crew?"

"That's not all!" Luffy protested, "I've got three more! Two people and a rifle!"

Sanji blinked. "Did you just count _me_?"

"Did he just count _a rifle_?" a cook questioned.

"DON'T JOKE WITH ME, YOU LITTLE PUNK!" Krieg roared, "EVEN MY MIGHTY FLEET OF FIFTY SHIPS AND FIVE THOUSAND MEN WAS DECIMATED BY THAT SEA IN JUST SEVEN DAYS! ALL BECAUSE WE LACKED INFORMATION!"

 **"Or… because you suck as a pirate."**

Krieg glared passed Luffy at Sabo. "WANNA SAY THAT AGAIN?"

"You're all bluster," Sabo stated as he slipped off the table and stepped up next to Luffy. "You talk like a big man when you're in your fancy booby-trapped armor… but take that away then what are you?"

"I AM THE 'DON' OF THE PIRATE ARMADA!" Krieg shouted.

"Ah-ah-ah, the cat's out of the bag now, _Pirate Admiral_ ," Sabo taunted with a wag of his finger, " _Y_ ou don't actually _have_ a fleet anymore. It was all destroyed in just seven days. That sorry-looking ship outside and those hundred starving men are all that's left of your _mighty armada_. That's what happens when you rely on cheap tactics and fancy booby-trapped armor to win battles for you instead of _actual_ strength. You're not a 'Don' anymore. Now you're just _Mr._ Krieg."

"YOU IMPUDENT LITTLE WRETCH!" Krieg hollered as the gun barrels reappeared in his armor.

 **BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM!**

Luffy jumped in front of Sabo and took all of Krieg's bullets.

"CHORE BOY!" the cooks shouted.

 **WOING!**

The bullets bounced off of Luffy's rubber body and went flying back at Krieg.

 **Ping-ping-ping-ping-ping!**

The bullets bounced off of Krieg's armor as he stared at Luffy in surprise. "Devil Fruit Powers…"

"The Chore Boy's some kind of rubber monster!"

"Hey old man! I just had an idea!" Luffy called out. "I suck at chores. But one thing I'm really good at is fighting pirates. So how 'bout if I beat up this guy… then you'll let us go, right?"

"DON'T MOCK ME!" Krieg bellowed. "YOU MAY HAVE FREAKISH DEVIL FRUIT POWERS! BUT YOUR MOTLEY CREW COULD NEVER DEFEAT ME!"

"YOU WANNA BET?" Luffy hollered right back. "YOUR WEAK CREW COULD NEVER BEAT ME, MY FIVE NAKAMA AND MY RIFLE!"

"STOP COUNTING ME!" Sanji snapped.

"You cheeky little—" Krieg started to berate Luffy.

"GUM GUM PISTOL!"

 **POW!**

Despite having his wootz steel armor to help him withstand the attack, Luffy's punch still sent Don Krieg flying out through the front door.

"I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU!" Luffy shouted as he grabbed the doorway and launched himself out after Krieg. "GUM GUM ROCKET!"

 **WOING!**

Luffy shot towards Krieg faster than the Pirate Admiral could react and drove his foot into his face.

 **THWAK!**

Krieg went flying off the front deck and slammed through the side of his massive ship.

"HEY KID!" Zeff called out as Luffy landed in the doorway. Luffy turned to look at him. Zeff pulled out the Straw Hats' employment contract and tore it in half. "You've got a deal. You beat Krieg and you and your crew are free to go."

"You got it!" Luffy said as he flashed Zeff a thumbs up.

"Head Chef, you sure about this?" Patty asked.

"There won't _be_ a restaurant if we keep him working as our Chore Boy for another eighty-eight days," Zeff reasoned, "And if he can't fight off Krieg there won't be a restaurant either. So we might as well put our faith in the Chore Boy and hope for the best."

"I don't suppose you could give him more deck to work with?" Sabo requested. "Luffy's Devil Fruit Powers don't work well with water."

"Comin' right up!" Carne agreed. He rushed out of the room and pulled a lever.

 **Chunk!**

The Baratie suddenly started shaking.

"WHAT'S DOING ON?" Usopp shrieked.

"He's opening the fins," Patty answered.

 **SPLA-SPLOOSH!**

The wooden fin underneath the Baratie restaurant split in half which caused the two wooden pieces to emerge from the water in the front and back of the Baratie. It wasn't much but the added fins created another twenty feet of deck on each side of the Baratie.

"WHOOOAAA! SO COOOOL!" Luffy exclaimed as he ran out onto the deck.

"That'll do," Sabo remarked. He went over to the large bag of food that Zeff had made for Krieg's men.

"What're you doing with that?" Sanji asked.

"I'm a waiter, aren't I?" Sabo replied. "I'll take this to Krieg's men and politely ask them not to attack this place." Sabo hefted the sack of food onto his shoulder then turned and called out to his Nakama. "Zoro, Usopp! You're with me. There's a hundred of them so I'll need back up just in case they refuse."

"Right," Zoro agreed while Usopp reluctantly followed him,

"Then I'm coming too," Sanji told Sabo. "Someone should be there to represent the restaurant."

"Heh," Zeff chuckled as Sabo, Zoro, Usopp and Sanji walked out the front door.

"What's so funny?" Patty asked him.

"Our little twerp's already joined those pirates," Zeff stated, "He just doesn't know it yet."

* * *

"Luffy!" Sabo called out as he led the others out of the Baratie. "We're gonna deliver this food. Wanna keep _Mr. Krieg_ busy while we deal with his crew?"

"Sure thing!" Luffy agreed.

"I'LL JUST KILL YOU ALL NOW!" Krieg bellowed as he stood in the hole he'd made in the side of his galleon and unveiled his gun barrels again. He immediately opened fire on Sanji and the Straw Hats.

 **BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM!**

Luffy jumped in front of the incoming bullets and took them all for his crew. "Geez you're dumb. I already showed you… THAT WON'T WORK ON ME!"

 **WOING!**

Luffy snapped up straight and sent the bullets flying back at Krieg. Some hit his armor while the other embedded into the side of the Dreadnaught Saber all around him.

Luffy shot his arms out and grabbed onto the top railing of the Dreadnaught Saber and used his hold to rocket himself towards Krieg. "GUM GUM ROCKET!"

 **WOING!**

Luffy let go of the ship and his arms recoiled as he flew through the air. He quickly stretched one arm behind him. It didn't stretch as far as his other techniques but he made up for it by twisting his arm like a corkscrew as it went. "GUM... GUM..."

"THAT'S NOT GONNA WORK!" Krieg snapped as he pulled one of the shoulder pads off of his armor and held it in front of him like a shield. "YOU'LL NEVER EVEN PUT SO MUCH AS A DENT IN MY ARMOR!"

"RIFLE!"

 **KER-WHAM!**

Luffy slammed his spinning fist into Krieg's shield. The sheer force behind Luffy's punch blasted Krieg through the room he was in as well as the three rooms after it.

"And there's our opening," Sabo resolved. "Run for it!"

The four of them rushed across the fin and quickly boarded Krieg's ship. The pirates sprawled on the deck barely moved or acknowledged their presence.

"ATTENTION KRIEG PIRATES!" Sabo called out, "Lunch is served."

Sabo tossed the sack onto the middle of the deck. It topped over onto its side then fell opened to reveal that it contained food.

The starving Krieg Pirates stared at the food for two seconds… before they dove at it and started eating.

"FOOOD!"

"WE'RE SAVED!"

"I would've settled for crackers and water… THIS IS AMAZING!"

"THIS IS WONDERFUL!"

"BEST I'VE EVER TASTED!"

"I THOUGHT I WAS A GONER!"

"THANK YOU, WHOEVER YOU ARE!"

"We're the Straw Hat Pirates," Sabo introduced them, "I'm Sabo the Quartermaster. These other two are our Bosun Roronoa Zoro _the Pirate Hunter_ and our Master Gunner Usopp. This guy is Sanji, he works at the restaurant that provided you guys with that food. I was hoping that we could have a little talk while you guys eat."

Sabo casually sat down on the deck while Zoro and Sanji stood behind him and Usopp practically hid behind them.

The Krieg Pirates continued to eat but looked up at Sabo and the others. Their lives had just been saved so the very least they could do was listen to what the strange pirate had to say.

"We know that you're the most feared pirate crew from the East Blue," Sabo admitted, "But we came to bring you this food anyway. In exchange, we have one simple request: don't attack the restaurant."

"You saved the lives of everyone on this ship. Why would we attack our saviors?"

"Ah, that's the tricky part of this whole situation," Sabo told them. "Your Captain ordered us to turn the restaurant over to him. And we refused. He took exception to that and long story short, my Captain is currently fighting yours downstairs."

"No one refuses the Captain's orders…"

"He said as much back in the restaurant," Sabo replied. "But do you know what he plans to do with it? Your Captain wants to use the restaurant as his new ship so you can return to the Grand Line."

"B-b-back to the Grand Line?"

"Yes," Sabo confirmed, "He wants you to go back to the place where your fleet was decimated and _thousands_ of your crewmates lost their lives. Does that sound like a good idea?"

"I don't wanna go back to that nightmare!"

"We barely survived that place!"

"Exactly," Sabo said. "I want you guys to really think about whether or not you want to go back there. Just for a minute forget about what Krieg wants and think about what _you_ want. Do you want to return to that ocean so you can die like the rest of your crew?"

"I never wanna go back to that place!"

"That _monster_ … he sank our entire fleet like they were toyas!"

"A m-monster?" Usopp repeated.

"Really? What was he like?" Sabo inquired.

"HE WAS A DEMON!"

"He came out of nowhere and attacked for no reason!"

"He just started sinking our ships one after another!"

"We only managed to escape because of a lucky storm that blew us away."

"We managed to make it back here but we've been starving ever since."

"I saw that monster in my nightmares! With those yellow eyes like a hawk!"

Zoro stiffened, "What was that?"

* * *

"Thanks for pulling me up," Nami said as she climbed back onto the Going Merry with her stolen loot from Krieg's Dreadnaught Saber.

"No problem, Nami-sis!" Johnny assured her.

"Look… I'm all wet from my swim," Nami pointed out as she motioned to her soaked t-shirt. "Would you guys mind turning around while I change?"

"OF COURSE!" Johnny and Yosaku chorused. The duo spun around and stared off the side of the ship.

"She's really changing…" Yosaku whispered conspiratorially to Johnny.

"I'm not gonna peak," Johnny insisted, "Unless… you are?"

"Maybe… maybe just a little one?" Yosaku suggested.

But before they could take their 'peak' Nami came from behind and shoved both men over the railing.

 **SPLASH!**

The bounty hunters hit the water and sputtered loudly as the came back up.

"NAMI-SIS! WHAT'RE YOU DOING!?"

"Sorry guys!" Nami called down to them. "But I finally have all the money that I need so I can't afford to stick around anymore. Sabo was right. I was never actually a member of the crew. It was just a business relationship which I'm dissolving now. Tell the guys that if we're truly meant to sail together we'll meet again once I've gotten my affairs sorted out. It's not personal, it's just business."

The thief gave them a jaunty wave and cast off.

"SA-BRO TOLD US TO GUARD THE SHIP!" Johnny wailed. "NOW THAT WITCH STOLE IT!"

"Sa-bro?" Yosaku repeated.

"Just… business…" Nami repeated to herself as she sailed off with her stolen treasure, stolen ship… and something else.

The Pirate Thief had been in such a rush to leave with her latest score that she had completely forgotten about the rifle that was still lying in Sabo's bunk down in the men's quarters.

* * *

Nami, you done goofed.

Silver signing off


	14. Mihawk

_**BROTHER ON BOARD**_

 **A/N: I posted this chapter a little earlier than normal to celebrate Sabo's birthday.  
**

psychopathonadiet - Sorry about making your family think you're crazy. But if your penname is 'psychopathonadiet' it probably comes with the territory and as I've shown in this story being crazy practically makes you a Straw Hat. So good for you! Also, welcome to the Bonnie Anne Fan Club. It's now official and I've even posted a roster on my profile page. Anyone else that's reading this that would like to join the Bonnie Anne Fan Club feel free to send a review or a PM and I'll add you to the list.

Syluk - Yes. When Sabo discovers that Nami kidnapped Bonnie that's going to be what triggers his anger outburst. You'll see it midway through this chapter. And yes, you opened the Gun Pun can of worms with your last review that prompted my first 'trigger' joke. Now expect me to fire them off whenever I can.

Bluejay Blaze - And the poor girl didn't even do it on purpose. Now she's going to have Sabo's wrath focused on her which will make her business back home much more difficult.

Avatoa - She unknowingly just shot herself in the foot.

Fairy of the Friz - Nami's going to be leading a rage storm straight to Arlong Park. A safety warning should be issued for all sane people to remain indoors and as far away from the enraged crazy pirate as possible.

rasEnshur1KEn - In canon Nami only had 93 million berries. But in MY version Luffy didn't leave behind half of Buggy's treasure and Nami got an extra five million berries. Add in the treasure she just stole from Don Krieg and she's got 103 million berries. More than enough to fulfill her end of her deal with Arlong. That means ol' Saw Tooth is going to have to play dirty if he wants to keep his precious pet navigator. I'll get this out of the way now: Sabo is going to be fighting Choo. I agree with you about Usopp's moment being one of the strongest in the arc and is a defining moment for him. I'd never completely steal that from him. But he can have that moment against any fishman. It doesn't have to be Choo. Usopp will still have his moment but in the meantime, Sabo and Choo will be facing off in a true battle of the shooters.

sarahgri99 - Wait until you see Nami's reaction once she realizes what she's done. She might not be a member of the Bonnie Anne Fan Club but she does know how insanely dedicated Sabo is to his girlfriend. See you next week!

Guest - NAAAAMIIIII! WHHHYYYY? Actually... we all already know why... But will Sabo discover the reason before he rains vengeance down upon the unfortunate thief?

lostdog200 - No worries. Writing out screams, laughter and different sound effects is tricky work. I've had help with my 'action sounds' from the translated manga. Also I'm a Sagittarius.

Mikila94 - Yeah... Sabo's gonna be pissed. Last week's big discussion in this section was actually the opposite - feeding the rifle the Dog Dog Fruit Model: Kitsune so it could take on a life of its own. I don't want to spoil anything so I'll just say this: there's a reason the motto for the Bonnie Anne Fan Club is "She's _not_ just a gun."

TheHeartsPath - I think that one of the main things that sets this Sabo story apart from the other ones you mentioned actually _is_ that 'eh... relationship' with Bonnie Anne. Sabo's strange quirk gives him a crazy-weirdness factor that helps him blend in with the crazy-weird Straw Hats better but at the same time gives him a uniqueness that makes him an interesting new(ish) character to read about. It also blends in an extra dose of my own humor with an already very funny series. Add in the gradual changes that I'm slowly making to canon and you've got my story in a bullet-shell.

Transformers g1's-Prime - But heroes get more meat and celebratory banquets while pirates get run out of town. I never see Luffy complaining during the big end-of-arc feasts from canon. I doubt he'd be too upset with there being more of them due to the Straw Hats' better PR. I plan for Sabo to fight some of the more prominent shooters from the series. Those are the types of opponents that would actually challenge him. Pairing up a long distance fighter against a close to mid-range fighter gives a distinct advantage to the distance fighter. They can just gun down their opponent before they get close enough to do damage. That's why Sabo has made it through all the fights unscathed so far. But when he goes up against the likes of Choo, Mr 4 and Wiper who are all distance fighters as well _that's_ when you're going to see what Sabo's truly capable of.

* * *

 **Mihawk-**

Sabo, Zoro, Usopp and Sanji were on the Dreadnaught Saber attempting to convince Krieg's crew not to attack the Baratie while Luffy kept their Captain occupied. But then the previously starving pirates dropped a bombshell.

"Did you say 'eyes like a hawk'?" Zoro demanded. "What did he look like? Did he use a sword?"

"I don't like to think about him!"

"I don't know what he used to sink our ships! I don't wanna know! If I never see that bastard again it'll be too soon!"

"Lucky… I'll never forget those horrible eyes! They were sharp and yellowed. Angled just like a hawk's."

"That could've been Hawk Eye…" Zoro realized.

"Hawk Eye?" Usopp repeated. "Who's that?"

"He's the man I've been looking for," Zoro answered. "Johnny said he came to the restaurant once."

"I've never seen a Hawk Eye at the Baratie," Sanji told him. "But Red Eyes came once. The bozo drank so much that his eyes turned red. Then the idiot went to light a cigarette and he ended up catching on fire and exploding. He scared away all the customers that night."

"Damn…" Zoro cursed, "That idiot got his information mixed up."

"Doesn't surprise me," Sabo supplied.

"Well if Hawk Eye is in the Grand Line then that's where I'm going," Zoro decided.

"YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO FIND THAT DEMON!?"

"The guys I'm after live in the Grand Line too," Sabo admitted, "Luffy wants to find the One Piece and that's rumored to be in the Grand Line well."

"DON'T GO THERE! TURN BACK!"

"Are you guys crazy!" Usopp exclaimed. "That place was too much for _Krieg's_ crew! If we go there we could all die!"

"Yeah," Sabo agreed, "What better way for you to become a Brave Warrior than face that sea. As far as I'm concerned, the Grand Line is the Sea of Dreams."

"Idiots," Sanji scoffed. "You're all idiots that are rushing to your deaths."

"The only one that can call me an idiot is me," Zoro warned him, "Ever since I decided to become the World's Greatest Swordsman I threw away my attachment to life. I've always known that I could die in the pursuit. But that's up to me to find out."

"That goes for me too," Sabo chimed in.

"And a real man like me too!" Usopp blustered.

"What a load of crap," Sanji muttered.

"That's what sets us apart Sanji," Sabo told him. "We Straw Hats aren't afraid to do whatever it takes to achieve our dreams. You think we're idiots for risking everything to accomplish our goals. And that's why finding the All Blue will always be just a passing fancy for you."

Sanji glared at him.

"Now then," Sabo resolved as he turned back to the Krieg crew. "As we've just established, my crew and I are crazy. We're happily planning to head to the ocean where your fleet was destroyed. But before we do that, we're going to defend this restaurant. If you guys decide to aid your Captain in attacking, you'll be dealing with us _and_ the cooks back on the restaurant."

"I'm the Pirate _Hunter_ ," Zoro stated as he reached down to his swords. "I can cut through a hundred men like they're tissue paper."

"And let me tell you something," Sanji said as he casually took a drag from his cigarette. "As a cook it's my job to feed anyone whose starving. But now you guys have been fed. So you have no room to complain when I bust your skulls in. Because if someone's gonna try and steal that ship… then I'll kill that person without a second thought. Got that?"

"AND!" Usopp chimed in, "We've got another FIFTY MEN waiting in the restaurant!"

The Krieg Pirates looked conflicted. They knew better than go disobey their Captain's orders but they also weren't eager to fight a bunch of insane pirates and cooks so that they can return to the place that killed the rest of their crew.

"So… let's settle this now," Sabo decided. "Is there anyone here that wants to take the restaurant? Speak up now so we can take you down and make an example out of you. Because if you cross us you guys won't have anything left when we're done with you. We'll beat your captain, destroy your crew, and wreck your ship."

" **No one defies Don Krieg's orders."**

Everyone turned to see a large black haired man with a pearl on his head and hard iron plates for armor.

"PEARL!"

Sabo looked back at the others, "So who wants this guy?"

"I'll take him," Sanji volunteered. "I'll show these pirates that fighting cooks are nothing to scoff at."

"If Don Krieg wants us to return to the Grand Line… then that's what we'll do," Pearl announced. "You may have saved us but we follow Don Krieg above all else. I'm not scared of fighting a bunch of cooks and some punks. I've never lost a single battle that I've been in. In fact, I've never even lost a single drop of blood. Not a single drop. You still think you can fight me?"

* * *

 **WHAM!**

Luffy went flying out of the Dreadnaught Saber and crashed down on the wooden deck of the Baratie.

"I'M DON KRIEG!" Krieg roared from the hole in the wall of his ship. "I WON'T LOSE TO SOME AMATEUR PIRATE PEST WITH SOME FREAKISH POWERS! Bullets won't work on you… that's fine. Since I can't shoot you I'll just crush you _and_ that deck!"

Krieg revealed a massive spike ball on a chain. "MORNING STAR STRIKE!" Krieg launched his latest weapon at Luffy.

"I said I'd protect this ship from you," Luffy said as he stretched his arms out behind him. "So I won't let you break anything! GUM GUM… BAZOOOKA!"

Luffy shot his arms forward and drove them into Krieg's spike ball.

 **WHAM!**

The ball went flying away and swung up into the air over the side of the Dreadnaught Saber.

* * *

 **THWAK!**

Pearl managed to raise one of the iron plates on his arm and blocked Sanji's first kick.

"I'm the Iron Wall," Pearl taunted, "You can't hurt me!"

Suddenly, Krieg's morning star came flying over the edge of the ship and smashed into the main mast.

 **CRUNCH!**

The mast snapped and fell forward… right on top of Pearl.

 **WHOMP!**

Everyone stared in surprise as Pearl was driven down into the deck.

"Didn't see that coming," Sabo admitted.

" **I… I'm bleeding…"**

Pearl's armor had mostly protected him from the falling mast. But the impact had resulted in him banging his face into the plate on his arm. Now he had blood dripping out of his nose.

"PEARL! IT'S JUST A NOSE BLEED!" one of the Krieg Pirates tried to calm him down.

"YEAH! EVERYONE GETS THOSE! THEY'RE NOTHING!"

"THERE'S NO NEED TO GO WILD!"

"I'M IN DANGER!" Pearl shrieked as he started banging the plates on his arms together like cymbals. "DANGER! DANGER!"

 **FWOOOSH!**

White flames suddenly ignited from Pearl's armor and covered his body. They quickly spread and formed a ring of fire around him.

"YOU CAN'T HURT ME NOW!" Pearl shouted. "YOU CAN'T EVEN TOUCH ME!"

 **SKISH!**

Sanji jumped over the ring of fire and landed inside it right in front of Pearl.

"Don't be ridiculous," Sanji scolded him. "Who ever heard of a cook that's afraid of fire?"

"YOU… YOU… YOU'RE DANGEROUS!" Pearl hollered, "I'LL DESTROY YOU! I'LL—"

 **SLA-SLISH!**

Pearl was cut off when a purple blade of what appeared to be air came down from overhead.

 **KRESH!**

Pearl's invincible armor shattered and he stared down at his exposed body in surprise. "M-my armor..."

"PEARL!" the Krieg pirates that weren't gaping in shock suddenly shrieked.

"IMPOSSIBLE! THAT ARMOR CAN WITHSTAND ANYTHING!"

"How'd that get split?"

 **PLURT!** Blood suddenly burst from a huge gash on Pearl chest. "AAAAAAHH!" The Krieg Pirates screamed in shock."Yeah... I should probably warn you guys," Sabo called out, "That armor didn't even stop that purple whatever-it-was. It went straight down into the deck. Your ship's about to split in half."

 **KREK-KREK-KREK!**

The wooden deck under started to crack then it split opened.

 **KROOOOM!**

The Dreadnaught Saber split in half and created a huge tidal wave as the two pieces began to sink.

Pearl had been unfortunate enough to be standing right where the split had formed and he dropped down through the hole, through the bisected ship and into the dark water underneath it.

 **Sploosh!**

"WHAT'S GOING ON!?" Usopp shrieked as Krieg's galleon started to shake and sink.

"ABANDON SHIP!" Sabo called out. Usopp didn't need to be told twice, he led the away as the Straw Hats and Sanji felt the sinking galleon and returned to the Baratie.

"MY SHIP!" Krieg hollered as he hung onto the side of his last ship as it sunk into the water. "WHAT HAPPENED?"

"Hey guys!" Luffy called out as his crew joined him on the deck of the Baratie. "Did you do that?"

"No," Sabo admitted. He turned to look at Zoro and Snaji, "Did we?" They shook their heads. Sabo turned back to Luffy, "Nope. Wasn't us."

"I was just gonna say that we're getting really good at this ship-smashing-thing," Luffy said.

" **ZORO-BRO! LUFFY-BRO!"**

The Straw Hats turned to see Johnny and Yosaku come swimming towards them.

"What're you guys doing here?" Zoro asked. "Aren't you supposed to be watching the ship?"

"That's just it!" Yosaku exclaimed. " _IT'S GONE_!"

Sabo spun around and gave them a stare that could quiet a Sea King. **"What was that?"**

Everyone standing around Sabo inexplicably shivered at the cold chill in his voice.

"It was Nami!" Johnny told them. "She tricked us! She took the treasure and the ship and sailed off!"

" **She… did what?"** Luffy, Zoro, Usopp and Sanji all instinctively took a step away from Sabo as a most-likely imaginary dark blue aura started to flare around him.

The bounty hunters grabbed onto the edge of the Baratie.

"That thief took your ship and ran!" Johnny squeaked.

"She said it was just business," Yosaku added. "And that if you're truly meant to sail together that you'll meet again."

"Hey look!" Usopp pointed out. "I think I can still see the Merry!"

" **NAAAMIIIII!"** Sabo turned and screamed at the speck on the horizon.

He didn't notice Luffy as he lurched backwards or Zoro and Sanji as they staggered away from him or Usopp as he collapsed or Johnny and Yosaku as they fell off the Baratie just as they were climbing on.

He didn't see the ten cooks that suddenly tripped in the Baratie or Zeff as he coughed in surprise and headed for the front door, "I haven't felt rage like that since the Grand Line."

He definitely didn't notice the thirty pirates that suddenly fainted over on the remains of Krieg's ship.

" **YOU'VE STOLEN FROM THE WRONG PIRATE! DON'T THINK FOR ONE SECOND THAT YOU CAN JUST KIDNAP MY GIRLFRIEND AND GET AWAY WITH IT! I'M COMING FOR YOU AND THERE'S GONNA BE HELL TO PAY!"**

"Wow… so _that's_ what rage tastes like," Sanji remarked.

"Sabo…" Luffy placed his hand on his brother's shoulder and the dark imaginary aura faded.

Sabo looked down at Johnny and Yosaku. "Get your ship. Now."

"YES SIR!" the bounty hunters shrieked and swam off again.

" _This_ is what happens when we recruit a pirate thief onto our pirate crew!" Sabo snarled.

"I thought getting Nami as our navigator was your idea?" Luffy reminded him. "You met her first."

"WELL NOW I'M REGRETTING IT!" Sabo snapped.

"But maybe she had a reason for doing it?" Luffy suggested. "She's our Nakama."

"The fact that she just stole the Going Merry and kidnapped Bonnie says otherwise," Sabo said.

"SHE _IS_ OUR NAKAMA!" Luffy insisted. "NAMI'S OUR NAVIGATOR AND NO ONE ELSE! SHE DESERVES A CHANCE TO EXPLAIN HERSELF!"

The two brothers stared at each other for a moment in what appeared to be a test of wills. But as usual, Luffy's will was unyielding.

"Fine," Sabo eventually conceded. "Once I chase her down, rescue Bonnie and recover the Merry _then_ I'll give her a chance to explain."

"I… I'll come with you!" Usopp said as he stepped up behind Sabo, "Because I wanna help get the Merry and Bonnie back… not because I'm scared of the Krieg Pirates."

"So you're just going to abandon the restaurant then?" Sanji challenged him.

"The old man tore up the contract keeping us here," Sabo pointed out. "And I'm leaving to rescue someone that's very dear to my heart. Surely, you can understand that."

"Sabo and Usopp are the only ones leaving," Luffy told Sanji. "You've still got me and Zoro. The three of us will be enough to handle what's left of those pirates."

"I don't like it," Sanji admitted, "But fine. You two had better not get in my way."

"Here's our ship, Sa-bro!" Johnny called out as he and Yosaku returned with their boat and finally manged to climb onto the deck.

Sabo didn't waste any time and jumped on.

"Hee hee," Usopp chuckled as he followed him on. "Sa _bro_..."

"Luffy, I'll trust you and Zoro to handle things here," Sabo said. "Don't forget to recruit Sanji as our Ship's Cook."

Sanji rolled his eyes but everyone ignored him.

"Right," Luffy agreed, "And you guys find Nami and recover Bonnie and the Going Merry."

"Then once we're all together again we'll head for the Grand Line," Usopp resolved.

Sabo and Usopp quickly sailed off on Johnny and Yosaku's skiff.

"Did any of you idiots stop to think about how you'd find them again?" Sanji inquired.

Luffy's eyes bugged out, "OH CRAP! We don't know where they're going!"

"How're we supposed to get our ship back?" Johnny wondered.

"We can't follow them now!" Yosaku realized.

"Speak for yourselves," Zoro said as he pulled out a wanted poster. "I'm not sure where she's heading but I'm pretty sure I know who she's going to."

" **What's going on out here?"** They all turned to see Zeff standing in the doorway.

"Geezer, half our new employees just split," Sanji stated.

"The deal was that Straw Hat would beat Krieg," Zeff pointed out. "If he can do that, I'll still hold up my end of the agreement."

"No problem," Luffy said. "I got my crew into this mess. I'll get us out of it."

"Good," Zeff replied, "But right now we've got more pressing matters to deal with. Your pirate pal inside told us about the man who sank their fleet. I'm pretty sure it was old 'Hawk Eye' Mihawk. And from the looks of things he was the one that split the galleon just now."

Zoro whirled around to face the Head Chef, "WHAT?"

Zeff pointed at a small boat that had appeared at the edge of the wreckage that had once been Krieg's Dreadnaught Saber. "It's him."

"CAPTAIN! IT'S HIM!" one of the Krieg pirates shrieked. "IT'S THE MAN WHO DESTROYED OUR FLEET! HE'S FOLLOWED US HERE FROM THE GRAND LINE! HE'S COME TO FINISH THE JOB AND KILL US ALL!"

"It… it's can't be… is that…" Zoro sputtered as he stared at the small coffin-shaped sail boat and its lone occupant.

"Is he the one that split the galleon?" Sanji asked. "I don't even see a weapon on him."

"His weapon's on his back," Zeff stated. "That's him alright, 'Hawk Eye' Mihawk, the Greatest Swordsman in the World."

"WAIT!" Luffy shouted in alarm, "SABO AND USOPP ARE HEADED RIGHT TOWARDS HIM!"

* * *

Usopp hid behind Sabo as they pulled even with Mihawk's tiny one-man coffin-shaped boat. It had a single black sail that was currently rolled up and a candle with a green flame at the front. The World's Greatest Swordsman was occupying the lone seat.

"Good day to you, sir," Sabo greeted the swordsman.

"…" Mihawk said nothing to acknowledge the greeting but he looked up which gave Sabo and Usopp a glimpse at his yellow hawk-like eyes that had previously been hidden underneath his fancy, feathered, wide-brimmed black hat.

"I take it you're the one that split the galleon," Sabo noted. Mihawk simply nodded. "And you're the one that downed their entire fleet back in the Grand Line?" Mihawk nodded again. "Good job." Sabo flashed Mihawk a thumbs up that the swordsman didn't even acknowledge. "We were actually on that ship negotiating with the crew when you cut it. This mook with iron plates for armor challenged us. He went on claiming that he was invincible and never spilled a single drop of blood in all the battles he's ever been in. Then the mast fell on him and he got a nosebleed. He started freaking out and nearly burned the ship down. But then your purple whatever-it-was flew down out of nowhere and cut through this armor like it was nothing! Hahaha! The entire crew nearly crapped themselves! It was priceless! You should've seen the looks on their faces! Then the ship split and we got the hell outta here."

"..." Mihawk still hadn't spoken but a smile had spread across his face at Sabo's amusing rendition of the unintended consequences of his actions.

"Did you actually sail all the way here from the Grand Line in that tiny boat?" Usopp spoke up.

Mihawk nodded.

"WHOA!" Usopp gasped. "THAT IS SO COOL! You must be really strong!"

"Yeah, bad-ass," Sabo agreed. "Well, we have no quarrel with you, sir, so we'll leave you to your business while we continue ours. Although I should warn you that my brother called dibs on Don Krieg. If you're here to finish what you started back in the Grand Line then by all means finish off the crew. But we've got some big stakes on our Captain beating the armored blowhard."

"..." Mihawk's eyes narrowed as he turned his full attention to the strange blonde that had presumed as much as to tell _him_ what to do.

Sabo either didn't notice Mihawk's ire or chose to ignore it and gave the World's Greatest Swordsman a jaunty wave. "LATER!"

Mihawk's eyes remained locked on the skiff as it sailed passed him while he drew closer to the remains of Krieg's sinking ship.

"Who was that guy?" Usopp whispered to Sabo.

"Beats me," Sabo replied which caused Mihawk's yellow eyes to narrow in annoyance, "He's probably a swordsman from the Grand Line. I'm not really concerned with that sort of that stuff so it makes no difference to me."

Mihawk reached back to the jewel encrusted gold cross guard on his back but one of Krieg's men suddenly called out and interrupted him.

"YOU BASTARD! WHY DO YOU KEEP TORMENTING US!?"

Mihawk looked away from Sabo and Usopp and turned to the man and answered simply, "To kill time."

"YOU MONSTER!" the man hollered as he drew two pistols and opened fire.

 **BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM!**

In one graceful motion, Mihawk drew the sword on his back. The katana blade was massive, nearly six feet long and was pitch black. The shower of bullets sailed harmlessly passed him.

"IT MISSED!"

"No… he deflected them," Zoro said as he stood on the edge of the deck behind the Krieg Pirates.

Mihawk looked back and saw that the brief distraction had given Sabo and Usopp enough time to get away. He decided to write the two ignorant pirates off as insignificant and turned his focus to the people that knew and feared him.

"The same thing would happen if you shot another hundred times," Zoro continued, "He deflected them all with just the tip of his sword. I've never seen such graceful movements."

"A sword without grace is just a metal bar," Mihawk remarked as drew near.

"And you used that same sword to cut the ship," Zoro noted.

"Of course," Mihawk acknowledged.

"Then it's true," Zoro realized, "You _are_ the Greatest. I set sail just to find you…"

"What for?" Mihawk asked.

"To defeat you!" Zoro replied as he tied on his bandana and drew his three swords. "You said you're looking to kill time… then let's have a duel."

"Three swords…" a Krieg pirate gasped. "This guy _really is_ the 'Pirate Hunter'!"

Mihawk climbed out of his one man boat onto one part of the deck of Krieg's mostly sunken galleon. Krieg and what remained of his crew were clustered together on the other half of the ship. The two decks resembled two platforms bobbing in the water and were now all that remained of the Dreadnaught Saber.

"Of course a weak fool like you would challenge me," Mihawk commented. "Any competent swordsman would realize the difference in our skill without even needing to cross swords. I must ask why you even bothered to challenge me? Does it come from courage or are you simply ignorant?"

"It comes from ambition," Zoro answered, "and a promise to a friend."

"I don't believe it! The World's Greatest Swordsman facing off against the Pirate Hunter!"

"Is that carpenter really fighting the World's Greatest Swordsman?" Patty asked as he and the other Baratie cooks came up behind Zeff to see what the commotion was about.

"It seems so," Zeff confirmed, "Kids these days. They have no patience."

"I never thought that I'd find you this soon," Zoro admitted.

"Still a waste of time if you ask me," Mihawk retorted.

"There's no way that guy can beat Zoro-bro!" Yosaku boasted as he and Johnny stood behind Luffy.

Mihawk removed the cross from his neck and pulled off the bottom to reveal a tiny dagger with a blade that was no bigger than his middle finger.

"What're you gonna do with that toy?" Zoro asked. "Open a letter."

"I like to be practical," Mihawk said. "I'd never hunt a rabbit with a cannon and I'd never use my real sword to defeat a pest like you. You may have a reputation here in the East Blue. But this is the weakest of the world's oceans. This _toy_ will be more than enough to dispatch you."

"You're gonna choke on those words," Zoro warned him as he charged. "CAUSE I'M ABOUT TO RAM THEM DOWN YOUR THROAT!"

"You're just a tiny frog in a pond," Mihawk scoffed, "You have no idea how big the world really is."

"ONI GIRI!"

Mihawk raised his dagger and jabbed it forward to meet Zoro's three swords.

 **KLANG!**

"No way!" Zoro gasped as his eyes widened in shock when he saw Mihawk holding all three of his swords at bay with just the tip of his tiny dagger.

"ZORO!" Luffy exclaimed.

"That was Zoro-bro's Oni Giri attack!" Johnny realized.

"That move never fails!" Yosaku cried out in alarm.

" _I can't move forward even an inch!"_ Zoro realized. _"That attack's never been stopped before but he did it with that toothpick! WE CAN'T BE THIS FAR APART!"_ "RAAAAH!"

Zoro lashed out wildly with all three of his swords but Mihawk casually batted them aside with dagger.

 **Klang-klang-klink-KLANG!**

Kuina flashed in front of Zoro's eyes as he continued his unrelenting but ineffective assault. _"I didn't train all this time just to lose to some stupid toy! I TRAINED TO WIN! I TRAINED TO BEAT THIS MAN!"_

"Such ferocity," Mihawk observed, "What could a weakling like you be fighting so hard to accomplish?"

"TAKE THAT BACK!" Johnny roared.

"ZORO-BRO'S NOT WEAK!" Yosaku shouted.

The bounty hunter duo made to leap off Baratie deck to help Zoro but Luffy held them back.

"Stay out of Zoro's duel," Luffy ordered them with a grim expression.

Zoro wound up for a big swing but Mihawk easily side-stepped it.

 **THUMP!**

Zoro tumbled passed MIhawk but quickly sprang back up.

"TORA GARI!" Zoro lunged at Mihawk looking to use the technique that had put down the Nyabans.

Mihawk once again jabbed his dagger forward to meet one of Zoro's techniques. But this time it went straight through Zoro's swords, straight through Zoro's guard and straight into his chest.

 **CHUNK!**

"BRO!" Johnny and Yosaku cried out as they saw him hanging off of Mihawk's dagger.

"…" Mihawk stared silently at Zoro as he continued to hang off of his dagger. His upstart opponent showed absolutely no sign of retreating even though a dagger was buried three inches into his chest. "Do you want me to cut your heart out? Why don't you step back?"

"I… to be honest… I don't even know…" Zoro confessed, "But I get this feeling that if I step back now… if I retreat for even an instant… everything that I've fought for will be for nothing and I'll lose an important part of myself in doing so."

"Yes, that's called defeat," Mihawk informed him.

"Then that's exactly why I can't step back," Zoro told him.

"Even if it means you'll die?" Mihawk asked.

"I _prefer_ death to defeat," Zoro replied.

Mihawk blinked then pulled his dagger back. "Boy, speak your name."

"Roronoa Zoro."

"I'll remember it," Mihawk assured him, "It's been a long time since I've seen resolve as strong as yours." Mihawk put his dagger away then reached behind him and drew his black sword. "As a swordsman's courtesy I'll end this duel using my black sword… the Strongest Sword in the World."

"Mihawk must think that kid's something special," Zeff remarked. "He's not toying with him anymore. He's treating him like a worthy opponent."

" _So this is how it ends…"_ Zoro thought to himself as he held his swords out in front of him and started to spin them. _"One last attack. I'll either become the World's Greatest Swordsman… or I'll die."_

"FALL!" Mihawk shouted as he charged at Zoro with his massive black sword ready.

"Santoryu Ougi…" Zoro intoned. An all-or-nothing attack called for his secret technique. "SANZEN SEKAI!"

 **KRESH!**

Mihawk met Zoro's attack head on and cut straight through Zoro's swords into his chest.

" _I lost… I'm no match for him…"_ Zoro realized. _"So this is the strength of the World's Greatest."_

The defeat stung but Zoro wouldn't allow that to tarnish his pride. He stood back up and turned to face Mihawk with his arms out.

"What are you…" Mihawk started to ask.

"Wounds on the back are a swordsman's shame."

Mihawk smiled widely. "Magnificent."

 **SLASH!**

"ZOOOOOROOOOOOO!" Luffy screamed as he watched his swordsman get cut down.

"Don't be so quick to rush to death, young one," Mihawk whispered as Zoro dropped off the deck into the water.

"BRO!" Johnny and Yosaku cried out as they dove into the water to save him.

"Even the Pirate Hunter was no match for a monster from the Grand Line!" a Krieg Pirate exclaimed.

Sanji scowled, "IT'S EASY! JUST THROW AWAY YOUR STUPID DREAM!"

"DAAAAMN YOOOOOOUUU!" Luffy hollered as he shot his rubber arm at Mihawk. The swordsman easily evaded it but Luffy used the missed attack to grab onto the railing behind him.

 **WOING!**

Luffy rocketed towards Mihawk with his fist drawn back.

"He's using those freakish Devil Fruit Powers again!" Krieg growled.

 **SWISH!**

Mihawk easily avoided Luffy's telegraphed and Luffy crashed head-first through the railing of the deck.

"You must be his comrade," Mihawk noted as he looked back at Luffy, "You did well to allow him to fight his own battle. Don't worry. I left him alive."

" **BRO** **! SPEAK TO US!"** Johnny and Yosaku broke the surface with Zoro and his sole remaining sword.

Patty and Carne rushed forward and helped the two bounty hunters pulled Zoro up onto the fin deck of the Baratie.

"UUGGHH!" Zoro took a wheezing gasp of breath, proving to everyone that he was still alive.

Mihawk turned and called out to Zoro, "My name is Dracule Mihawk. It is too soon for you to die, young warrior. You're strong but you still have a lot to learn. See the world, grow stronger, Roronoa. I don't care how long it takes, I will stand here at the top of the world and wait for you. Forge ahead and grow stronger then, when you're ready, SEEK ME OUT! STRIVE TO SURPASS ME, RORONOA!"

"Zoro-bro! Speak to us!" Yosaku pleaded.

"Not just anyone can earn the respect of Hawk Eye Mihawk," Zeff remarked.

Mihawk turned to Luffy, "You, boy, what do you seek?"

"To be King of the Pirates."

Mihawk grinned, "That will be hard to accomplish. Even harder than beating me."

"That doesn't matter!" Luffy snapped, "I'm gonna do it anyway!"

"So you will," Mihawk remarked.

"SANJI! Is Zoro alive?"

The cook looked down where Johnny, Yosaku, Patty and Carne were crowded around Zoro.

"Looks like it," Sanji confirmed, "But there's blood everywhere."

Sanji watched as Zoro reached up with one of his hands and seemingly grabbed for something. He looked down and spotted Zoro's remaining sword and handed it to the defeated swordsman.

Zoro took _Wado Ichimonji_ and raised it up into the air. "L-Luffy…" Zoro groaned. "Can you hear me?"

"Yeah," Luffy answered him.

"Sorry to disappoint you…" Zoro apologized. "I know… that you expect only the Greatest Swordsman in the World on your crew… I let you down… forgive me…"

"Bro, stop talking," Johnny urged him.

"NEVER AGAIN!" Zoro shouted. "I WILL NEVER LOSE AGAIN! FROM NOW UNTIL I BEAT THAT MAN TO BECOME THE WORLD'S GREATEST SWORDSMAN! I SWEAR TO NEVER LOSE AGAIN! ANY PROBLEM WITH THAT, KING OF THE PIRATES?"

"Shishishi," Luffy laughed, "Nope."

"They make a good team," Mihawk remarked as he turned to leave. "Maybe I'll see you again sometime in the future."

"Hey Hawk Eye!" Don Krieg called out. "Didn't you come here for my head? The head of the infamous 'Pirate Admiral' Don Krieg?"

"That was originally my plan, yes," Mihawk replied, "But I've had enough fun." Mihawk's mind flashed back to an annoying blonde. "And I believe someone else has already claimed your head. Now I think I'll return to my nap."

"You bastard!" Krieg growled. "You may have had _your_ fun but I sure haven't!"

"DON KRIEG!" one of Krieg's men cried. "If that man wants to leave… LET HIM!"

"NOW DIE!" Krieg yelled as he unveiled the gun barrels on his armor and opened fire on Mihawk.

 **BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM!**

"You never learn," Mihawk commented as he waved his sword and deflected the blasts. "Farewell."

 **SPLASH!**

Don Krieg's missed shots hit the water and caused a huge explosion of water that hit Mihawk from view. But when it finally cleared… the World Greatest Swordsman had vanished.

"DAMN HIM!" Krieg growled then turned to his remaining men. "LISTEN UP! WE JUST LOST OUR LAST SHIP! SO WE'RER GOING TO ATTACK THAT RESTAURANT AND CLAIM IT AS OUR NEW ONE! No one will ever take that ship seriously! It'll be even better than flying the white flag! Once we have that ship, we can reform the fleet and return to the Grand Line!"

"Re-return?" one of Krieg's men stammered.

"You mean those guys were telling the truth?"

"You really want to go back there after what just happened?"

"Do we really have to attack the restaurant?

"Those guys saved all of our lives!"

"I don't wanna go back to the Grand Line!"

 **BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG!**

Ten pirates dropped to the deck. Some hadn't even protested but had been unfortunate enough to be standing with the group of objectors.

"ANYONE ELSE DISAGREE?" Krieg demanded.

"N-no sir!" Krieg's terrified crew stammered.

"That rubber freak has Devil Fruit Powers," Krieg stated, "I bet Hawk Eye does too. The Grand Line is full of Devil Fruit Powered freaks like them. 'Red Leg' Zeff spent a year in the Grand Line. He probably found some method of dealing with those freaks. The secret to surviving the Grand Line lies in that old man's log book. ALL THAT'S STANDING IN OUR WAY OF CONQUERING THE GRAND LINE IS A RUBBER PEST AND SOME COOKS! ARE YOU GOING TO LET THEM STOP YOU?"

"NO SIR!"

"ALL HAIL DON KRIEG!"

* * *

"You two, get that kid to the back deck," Zeff ordered Johnny and Yoskau. "Patty, Carne, go with them and try to treat his injuries."

"What? Head Chef! You can't afford to send away your two toughest fighters!" Patty protested.

"Please," Sanji scoffed, "You two clowns, our best fighters?" He motioned to himself and Luffy. "The best fighters here are me and the Chore Boy."

"If the Chore Boy wants me to let him and his friends go," Zeff said, "He's gotta earn it."

"Yes, Chef," Carne reluctantly agreed.

Johnny, Yosaku, Patty and Carne lifted Zoro up off the deck.

"DON'T SCREW THIS UP, SANJI!" Patty shouted as they carried Zoro into the dining room to the back deck.

"And here come the scavengers," Sanji noted as he eyed Krieg and his crew. He looked over at Luffy, "You up for this?"

"Those guys, no problem," Luffy assured him. "Actually... I'm not so good at counting but that doesn't look like a hundred pirates."

"It's less than sixty," Zeff informed him. "But they don't matter. I'll only let you go if you beat Don Krieg,"

"Right," Luffy said, "You got it, old man!"

* * *

"For a bunch of pirates they really weren't so bad," Nami remarked. "Maybe… after everything's over… maybe they'll let me sail with them again." Tears welled up in Nami's eyes. "I can't wait to be free… Bellemere…"

Nami looked back behind her at the friends she'd left behind and the shrunken speck that the Baratie had become. "Wait a minute..." Nami wiped the tears from her eyes and squinted at a tiny speck that she'd just noticed in between her and the restaurant.

Nami dashed across the Merry to the rear deck and pulled out a telescope. With it she was able to make out Johnny and Yosaku's small skiff as well as the two pirates that were on it. "Sabo and Usopp? They shouldn't be coming after me yet. They were supposed to be distracted by the battle. Why would they be..."

Nami trailed off when she was struck by a horrifying thought.

 _"Bonnie wasn't feeling well today," Sabo told her. "I bought her back here so she can have a lie in."_

"No…" Nami gasped as she felt a sudden wave of dread. She ran down to the main deck and pulled open the flap to the men's quarters.

"No no no no no!" Nami chanted to herself as she climbed down the ladder into the room.

She stopped and stared in horror at Sabo's bunk and the rifle that was occupying it. "NOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

Yup, Sabo jumped the gun. (Gun Pun intended!) Now Zoro is still with Luffy and Sanji while Sabo and Usopp are going to be alone in dealing with the fishmen. I'll finish off the Baratie Arc next chapter then you can expect some big changes to the Arlong Park Arc.

Silver signing off


	15. Sanji

_**BROTHER ON BOARD**_

Bluejay Blaze - True. I've been saying from the start that all the Straw Hats are nuts. There's only so many times that Sabo can be called a 'crazy gun-nut' before he catches on. You'll see at one point in this chapter that Zoro's caught on to the crew's insanity too. Poor Nami. She started out normal but the others _drove her_ insane.

Syluk - Yeah that was a burst of Sabo's wild untrained haki. I know that so far in canon that Sabo has shown only Armament Haki but I'd like to think that Dragon's No 2 in the Revolutionaries has at least _some_ Conqueror's Haki. Keep in mind, that Sabo has no idea what he just did and is completely untrained in how to use it. This was just one of those over the top emotional responses where the user unknowingly unleashes raw haki, like how Luffy did it before the time skip. I'd also like to state for the record that even if Sabo does have Conqueror's Haki it'll never be as strong as Luffy's because as I showed in the last chapter Luffy's the one with the unyielding will.

ProtoPhinbella - Yeah, or maybe like in Deadpool when Wade realizes that he forgot his ammo bag _again_. I can actually see my crazy Sabo saying "I only brought twelve bullets so you're all going to have to share" at some point.

Fairy of the Friz - She's in too deep at this point. You'll see in the first scene in this chapter that Nami has that idea but doesn't like the idea of answering a bunch of questions that may end with the Straw Hats getting involved in a situation that _she thinks_ will kill them. Also, Sabo knew enough to recognize Mihawk as the Hawk Eyed man that destroyed Krieg's Armada in the Grand Line but no one ever mentioned that he was the World's Greatest Swordsman while they were on the Dreadnaught Sabre. Just goes to show that Sabo has a talent for pissing off swordsman. Not just Zoro.

PsychopathOnADiet - And the fishmen have no idea what Nami's leading towards them. Almost makes me feel sorry for the spiteful oppressive bastards. _Almost_.

lostdog200 - I've never held much of a strong connection to astrology to be honest but that sounds about right. Although, I never had an particular affinity for Thursdays or the color orange.

PipeDream - Don't get too excited about the Haki. That was a one-off thing. Sabo has no idea what he did and won't be doing it again for a while. But _do_ get excited for the Arlong Park Arc. I'm mostly done writing it and I've had a blast.

Johnny Spectre - Sabo has Haki but he can't consciously use it yet. Let's just consider it a small hint at things to come.

TheREALMightyKamina - Am I saying that? When did I say that? All I've said so far is the Fan Club motto 'She's _not_ just a rifle'. Does Bonnie Anne have a character arc that's going to be progressively shown alongside Sabo's in this story? Yes. Am I going to spoil it by revealing things here? NOPE!

rasEnshur1KEN - Nami's crafty. I'm sure she'll think of something. She's also a way better navigator than Sabo and Usopp put together and is on a bigger faster ship. They might not catch her before she reaches Arlong Park but as you'll see in the second scene in this chapter... Sabo has a hunch where she'd heading so they'll arrive earlier than the Straw Hats do normally. That was a burst of Haki that Sabo used. But he has no idea that he did it. He's not going to access haki again until the Straw Hats have made it to the Grand Line.

Transformers g1's-Prime - I also find it amusing that he seems to be able to get under the skin of just about every swordsman that he meets. Not just Zoro. A major part of Sabo's nonchalance was that he had no idea who Mihawk was. No one ever said he was the World's Greatest Swordsman. Just that he destroyed Krieg's fleet. And who says Usopp's 'murder' is going go down the same way it did in canon? (Insert ominous lightning flash and maniacal laughter here) Are you excited for Arlong Park yet? PS I call those jokes Gun Puns because it rhymes. Feel free to make any more that come to you. If they're good I might put them in the story at one point. **That's an open invitation to anyone reading this: feel free to make Gun Puns!**

* * *

 **Sanji-**

"Oh crap, they're still following me," Nami cursed as she looked back at the skiff that was tailing her. She'd put some distance between them thanks to the Going Merry numerous sails and faster sailing speed but Sabo and Usopp were still pursuing her. "But of course they are. I've got his girlfriend."

Nami looked down and glared at the rifle that she'd brought up to the main deck. "That idiot and his stupid rifle are gonna ruin everything."

 **KER-CHOW!**

Bonnie Anne suddenly went off and Nami was blown backward from the recoil and hit the railing.

 **THUD!**

"OW!" Nami yelped as she rubbed her back and glared at the rifle that she had dropped. It was now sitting 'innocently' in the middle of the deck. "I didn't even mean to steal the damn thing!"

"Maybe I could stop and tell him that?" Nami proposed, "Try and explain things?"

"But then they'd ask why I stole the Merry," Nami countered, "They'd want to help and they'd end up getting killed and would ruin everything. I can't let those idiots ruin eight years' worth of hard work."

"I've gotta lose 'em," Nami resolved. "I'll give the rifle back once I've sorted out everything back home."

Nami glared at Bonnie Anne then headed to the galley to adjust her course. "Stubborn jackass doesn't even realize I'm trying to save his life."

She stopped at the top of the stairs when she had another horrible realization, "Oh great. Now I'm talking to myself. They finally did it. Those lunatics drove me crazy."

* * *

"She's changed course," Sabo noted. "Looks like she knows we're following her."

"Why would she do that?" Usopp wondered.

"In my experience, thieves don't normally stick around after they've stolen from someone," Sabo said. "That's just another question we can add to the list of things to ask when we finally chase her down."

"The Merry's a lot faster than this ship," Usopp pointed out as he went to the back of the skiff and adjusted the rudder to alter their course. "Do you think we'll lose her?"

"Even if we do, I've got a feeling I know where she's going," Sabo told him.

"You do?" Usopp asked.

"We've been systematically taking out pirates with the biggest bounties in the East Blue," Sabo stated, "Don Krieg has the biggest bounty of any pirate from the East Blue. But the biggest fish in this pond is actually a pirate from the Grand Line called 'Saw Tooth' Arlong."

"S-so… he's… _even_ _stronger_ than Don Krieg?" Usopp stammered.

"Could be, I've never met him," Sabo admitted. "All I managed to learn was that he's based in the northwest region of the East Blue, basically the opposite side of the ocean that we set out from. He mostly stays in that area so I didn't think we'd ever see him. But guess which direction we're heading."

"N-n-northwest?" Usopp stammered. Sabo nodded. "So… we're really going there?"

"If we lose her, yes," Sabo confirmed. He ran to the front of the skiff and shouted at the distant caravel, "YOU HEAR THAT NAMI? I'M COMING FOR YOU! THERE'S NOWHERE IN THIS OCEAN YOU CAN GO THAT I WON'T FOLLOW!"

* * *

"Sanji!" Luffy addressed the cook. "They're after the restaurant and we're trying to protect it, right?"

"Do I really need to tell you that at this point?" Sanij asked.

"Well then why're we fighting them over here?" Luffy asked. "Won't the place get smashed up if we let the pirates get close to it?"

Sanji automatically opened his mouth to reject another one of Luffy's stupid ideas but then he realized something, "You _actually_ have a point."

"Shishishi!" Luffy laughed. "See? Told ya I was good at fighting pirates!"

"GET 'EM!" The Krieg Pirate roared as they jumped from the floating wreckage of their galleon to the fin deck of the Baratie.

"Oh no you don't!" Luffy called out as he stretched himself back into the dining room while holding onto the front railing. "GUM GUM ROCKET!"

 **WOING!**

Luffy shot forward and spread his arm so he knocked the fine pirates from the first wave off the Baraite deck and back into the water.

"AND… SCYTHE!" Luffy stretched his arm out and clotheslined another ten pirates that had been forming the second wave.

 **WHAM!**

Luffy landed on the deck and quickly jumped up onto the railing when he noticed the water starting to seep onto it.

"SAVE SOME FOR ME!" Sanji called out as he leapt from the Baratie to the floating platform that remained of Krieg's ship,

Luffy and Sanji laid waste to Krieg's crew with flurry of rubber punches and high-speed cook kicks. The Krieg Pirates had had been hanging back on the Dreadnaught Saber all fell in less than three minutes.

But unfortunately, they missed some.

"HAHA!" a Krieg pirate laughed as he and eight companions stood over the defeated Baratie cooks. "We're not just your run-of-the-mill pirates! We're the Krieg Pirates! Mere cooks could never compare to the likes of us!"

"Hey, that's a pretty nice knife," another pirate noted as he reached down to grab one of the cooks' chef's knife. "Hey! Let go!"

" **A chef's knife is a cook's soul,"** Sanji stated as he landed on the deck behind the pirate. **"IT'S NOT TO BE HANDLED BY AN AMATEUR LIKE YOU!"**

 **THWAM!**

One hard kick sent the pirate flying off the Baratie, clear over the wreckage of the Dreadnaught Saber and down into the water on the other side.

"That kicking technique…" Krieg mused as he glared at Zeff. He had a pretty good idea who Sanji had learned to kick from.

"Wow, are these guys all that are left?" Luffy asked as he launched himself back onto the Baratie deck.

"DON'T TAKE US LIGHTLY!" a Krieg Pirate snapped, "WE'RE THE KRIEG PIRATES! THE STRONGEST IN THE EAST BLUE!"

"Nah, you're pretty week," Luffy replied, "You're only the strongest because you have the most people."

The Krieg Pirates recoiled at how true Luffy's statement was.

"He hit the nail right on the head there," Sanji remarked before he dropped onto his hands and swung his legs around into the faces of the remaining pirates.

 **THWAK-WAK-WAK-WAK!**

The pirates went flying off the deck and left it clear.

"Wow," one of the fallen cooks commented, "Every time I see Sanji's kicks I can't help but be amazed."

"Did we win?" Luffy asked. All of Krieg's underlings appeared to have been defeated.

"NOT YET!" Krieg roared as he pulled one of the shoulder guards off of his battle armor and attached a stick to it and created a battle staff. The mouth of the skull design slid opened to reveal a gun barrel. "I'LL KILL YOU BOTH IN ONE SHOT WITH THIS GAS BOMB!"

"DON KRIEG! NOT THE MH5!"

"NOT AGAINST JUST TWO PEOPLE!"

"A gas bomb?" Luffy repeated, "Don't worry, I'll just bounce it back."

 **BANG!**

Krieg fired his latest weapon and a black warhead went flying towards the Baraite.

Luffy jumped up to intercept the attack.

 **BOOOM!**

The bomb suddenly 'exploded' and showered the deck with shuriken and shrapnel.

 **SLISH-SLISH-SLISH!**

The flying bits of bladed metal caught Luffy off guard and slashed his arms and chest.

"That wasn't poison gas!" Sanji realized as he ducked out of the way while Luffy crashed down to the deck next to him, "That was shrapnel."

"MH5 can level a small town!" Krieg boasted, "I wouldn't waste it on you pests!"

"THAT WAS A CHEAP TRICK!" Luffy complained as he sat up. "WHY DON'T YOU FIGHT LIKE A MAN?"

"I don't need to fight you!" Krieg retorted. "I'm the mighty Don Krieg! I have a dozen different ways that I can kill you from right here! In battle, all the matters is the end result! It doesn't matter that you took out my men or what method I finally killed you with. All that matters is that I'll be the one that's once again standing victorious at the end of it all. This will show you which one of us deserves to be King of the Pirates!"

"Oh yeah, that's definitely me," Luffy assured him.

"YOU BRAT!" Krieg roared.

"Stop provoking him," Sanji scolded him. "He's the only one left. Don't make this harder by goading him into doing something dangerous."

" **But he's** _ **not**_ **the only one left."**

 **Crack!**

Zeff suddenly fell over.

" **This fight is over, Sanji."**

Gin had finally entered the battle. His first move was to break Zeff's peg leg. Now he stood over the Head Chef with a gun pointed at his head.

"Stand down and surrender the ship," Gin ordered, "Otherwise I'll put a bullet in this old man's head."

"GIN! THAT'S NOT FAIR!" Luffy complained.

"We're pirates," Gin reminded him. "This is what we do."

"You look pathetic, old geezer," Sanji scolded Zeff.

"I don't need to hear that crap from you, ya stupid eggplant!" Zeff retorted.

"STOP TREATING ME LIKE A KID!" Sanji snapped at Zeff. He turned his attention to Gin. "Gin… please… Don't shoot him. Point that gun at me. Kill me instead."

"W-what?" Gin sputtered.

"This restaurant is that old bastard's treasure," Sanji stated, "I can't let you take it. I've already taken everything else from him. His leg, his dream… I CAN'T LET HIM DIE BECAUSE OF ME EITHER!"

"Still a whiny little brat," Zeff grumbled. "I don't need you to do unnecessary things."

"YOU BASTARD!" Sanji snapped, "I'M NOT A KID ANYMORE!"

Sanji's mind flashed back to his past history with Zeff. He recalled how the cruise ship he'd been working on as a boy had been attacked by Zeff's pirate crew. Sanji refused to give into them because he hadn't seen the All Blue yet. But a sudden storm had wrecked both the pirate ship and the cruise ship.

Sanji woke up and found himself stranded on a rock with Zeff. They were the only survivors. Zeff had managed to save Sanji from drowning at the cost of one of his legendary legs. Sanji refused to have anything to do with Zeff and insisted that he'd survive on his own until they were rescued. He took a small bag of food that Zeff had given him while the pirate had kept a larger bag for himself.

The days went by and turned into weeks. Sanji starved as he tried to stretch his five days' worth of food as much as he could. Even when the bread turned green and moldy, he still ate it. He was starving now and the made him regret all the food that he had previously wasted.

The weeks turned into months. Sanji's food ran out and he continued to starve on the rock with no sign of a rescue in sight. It wasn't until the seventieth day when Sanji was basically skin and bones that he thought about Zeff. He decided to check of the old pirate was still alive. He was shocked when he found that not only was Zeff still sitting on his side of the rock but he still had his huge bag.

Sanji was desperate so he decided that he was going to steal the food from Zeff. He knew the pirate could kill him but at this point he didn't care. But when he attacked, Zeff didn't even try to stop him. Sanji cut into the bag to reveal… treasure. Zeff hadn't given Sanji some of the food he'd given him _all_ of the food. The treasure that Zeff had kept was worthless while they were stranded and starving.

That was when Sanji discovered how Zeff had managed to survive. He'd eaten the remains of his injured leg. Zeff had given up his leg and his pirate career so Sanji could have all the food and survive. Sanji demanded to know why Zeff had sacrificed so much for him and the old pirate simply replied that they shared the same dream: to find the All Blue.

Zeff decided then that since his pirate career was over, he'd open up a restaurant. Sanji immediately offered to help. They made the first rule now knowing what it was like to starve and have nothing, They'd feed anyone who was hungry and never waste even a scrap of food. On the eighty-fifth day finally came and they were saved.

"That old man already gave up everything for me!" Sanji exclaimed, "I can't let you kill him and I can't let you take his treasure. So if it means that I have to die to protect the restaurant and repay my debt then that's what I'll do."

Luffy scowled and slid his hat forward to cover his eyes then he stretched his foot up overhead. "GUM GUM… AAAAX!" Luffy snapped his foot down and drove his heel into the deck of the Baratie.

 **KROOOM!**

The fin deck cracked and broke from the impact.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Sanji demanded.

"They're after the restaurant," Luffy stated, "But if there is no restaurant their plan is ruined. So I'm gonna destroy it. Then there'll be nothing for you to die over."

"THAT'S IDIOTIC!" Sanji snapped at him.

"NO _YOU'RE_ IDIOTIC!" Luffy retorted. "DO YOU THINK THE OLD MAN SACRIFICED PART OF HIMSELF SO YOU COULD JUST TURN AROUND AND DIE?" Shanks and his missing arm flashed before Luffy's eyes. "HE DID IT SO YOU COULD LIVE! TURNING AROUND AND DYING ANYWAY WOULD MAKE HIS SACRIFICE MEANINGLESS! THAT'S THE COWARD'S WAY OUT!"

"WELL IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'VE GOT A BETTER WAY OUT OF THIS MESS!" Sanji berated him.

 **Thnk!**

Gin's gun hit the ground. "I have one…" he said as he pulled out two tonfa with what appeared to be cannonballs on the ends. "DON KRIEG! Allow me to restore the reputation of our crew by killing this man with my own two hands."

Krieg grinned, "Fine Gin," he agreed. "You kill the cook and I'll take the rubber brat. Show them why you're the Battle Commander."

"Sanji, I wanted you to leave this ship without being hurt," Gin admitted, "But it looks like that's no longer an option. So the least I can do is kill you myself. That's the solution I arrived at."

"Oh, well thank you," Sanji replied, "Now kindly eat shit and die."

Gin shook his head and looked over at Luffy, "Straw Hat, you should have left with your crew."

"Why?" Luffy asked. "There's no way I'd lose to weaklings like you guys,"

"YOU BASTARD!" one of the Krieg Pirates yelled. "WE'RE NOT WEAK!"

 **BANG!**

The Krieg Pirate was hit with a wooden dart and dropped into the water.

"That's enough out of you," Krieg resolved as he lowered his battle staff. "A man who gets angry at being called weak is indirectly admitting to being weak. It's the final result that decides who's strong and who's not. And I'm still standing. GIN! Hurry up and kill the cook. Then I'll finish off the rubber freak."

"Understood Don Krieg," Gin replied. "I'm sorry Sanji. But you can't beat me."

"Hm, I was going to say the same to you," Sanji admitted.

"I'll show you why I'm the ruler of the East Blue!" Krieg taunted Luffy, "You'll see why your freakish powers are nothing to me!"

"Keep talking," Luffy encouraged him. "When I get over there I'm still gonna send you flying."

"Go ahead and try!" Krieg challenged him.

Meanwhile, Sanji and Gin's fight got underway. Gin traded crushing shots from the cannonballs on his tonfa with Sanji's hard kicks. But no matter how hard Sanji kicked him, Gin kept going. His crew referred to him as the 'Man-Demon' for a reason. He never hesitated when killing someone and he continued to land blow after blow on Sanji. Sanji's bones cracked under the impact from the iron balls on the tonfas and he did everything he could to keep up his offence.

"He's looking away!" Luffy exclaimed as he launched himself towards Krieg.

"NOT SO FAST!" Krieg called out as held up his battle staff and twisted the stick. Four holes appeared at the ends of the crossbones on the design and fired a barrage of wooden darts at Luffy.

 **BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM!**

Luffy was blasted backwards and landed hard on his back. He pushed himself back up and pulled the stake-sized darts out of his arms and chest.

"You think you can stop me?" Luffy growled. "ONLY I DECIDE WHEN I STOP!"

"FINISH HIM GIN!" a Krieg Pirate called out.

Luffy looked behind him to see that the 'Man-Demon's' unrelenting assault had finally overwhelmed Sanji and that he had the cook down on his back with his tonfa poised to deliver the finishing blow.

"I… I CAN'T DO IT!" Gin dropped his tonfa and hung his head. "DON KRIEG I CAN'T KILL THIS MAN!"

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?" Krieg demanded.

"Never… in my life has someone treated me so kindly," Gin confessed as he recalled Sanji feeding him when he was starving. "That's why… I can't kill this man…"

"You coward!" Krieg berated Gin. "I'm disappointed in you, Gin. I always thought you were my most loyal subordinate. That's why I made you the Battle Commander of my fleet of fifty ships. It wasn't your fighting ability… but your willingness to win by whatever means necessary!"

"I know Don Krieg," Gin replied. "I never meant to betray you and I don't regret anything that I've done in your name. I admire you, Don Krieg… but I can't kill this man. Is there _any chance_ that we could… possibly… let this ship go?"

"MY MOST LOYAL SUBORDINATE DEFIES MY ORDERS?" Krieg roared. "HAVE YOU GONE MAD?" Krieg glared at Gin. "I've changed my mind. Maybe this restaurant _does_ deserve a dose of my MH5."

"HE'S GOING TO USE IT!" a Krieg Pirate shrieked in alarm. "GET YOUR GAS MASKS!"

"But Don!" Gin protested, "We were all saved because of this restaurant!"

"GIN! THROW YOU MASK AWAY!" Krieg ordered, "YOU ARE NO LONGER PART OF MY CREW!"

"Gin! Don't listen to him!" Luffy called out, "He's just a coward!"

"DON'T YOU DARE INSULT DON KRIEG, STRAW HAT!" Gin barked.

"Gin, he's trying to kill you," Sanji pointed out.

"And that's just what I deserve," Gin replied, "I broke the crew's code because I let my compassion get the better of me. I deserve this." Gin pulled out his gas mask and threw it away.

"LETHAL POISON GAS BOMB!" Krieg roared as he raised his weapon, "MH5!"

 **BOOM!**

Krieg fired another warhead from his battle staff before he put on a gas mask.

"WE NEED TO GET YOU INSIDE, HEAD CHEF!" two cooks shouted as they grabbed Zeff and hauled him into the Baratie.

The rest of the cooks dove into the water and swam down as deep as they could.

"I NEED A MASK! I NEED A MASK!" Luffy exclaimed. He spotted two Krieg Pirates with gas masks, "I'll borrow these."

 **YOINK!**

"GAAH!" the pirates creamed and dove underwater while Luffy tossed the two masks to Sanji and Gin.

"GUYS! USE THOSE!" Luffy called out to him. "Now I need a mask!" He turned back to steal another mask but found that the rest of the Krieg Pirates had dove underwater. "WAAAH! WHATDOIDO? WHATDOIDO?"

 **Clunk!**

A gas mask landed next to Luffy. He quickly grabbed it and put it on just as the MH5 Bomb exploded.

 **KA-BLOOOSH!**

Purple gas exploded outward and flooded the area. Everything was obscured in a hazy purple smokescreen.

* * *

"What kind of pirate uses poison gas?" a cook complained as he popped once the gas had finally cleared five minutes later. "That guy's a monster."

"It's been five minutes…" another cook noted, "Do you think Sanji and the Chore Boy are alright?"

They looked over at the restaurant as the last of the gas cleared.

"Gin, move your hand…" Sanji mumbled through his gas mask that Gin had pressed onto his face.

"…" Gin didn't respond.

Luffy looked over and saw Gin pinning a mask to Sanji's face… without wearing one himself. "GAH! WHERE'S YOUR MASK? DIDN'T I THROW YOU ONE?"

Luffy remembered the mask that had suddenly landed next to him.

"KOFF! KOFF!" Gin coughed up blood and dropped to the ground.

"HAHAHAHA!" Krieg laughed at his poison subordinate. "WHAT A FOOL! That's what he gets for thinking he's eternally indebted to a cook just because he's given some grub! HAHAHAHAHAHA1"

"D…Don…" Gin croaked.

Sanji sat up and looked sadly down at the poisoned pirate, "It looks like you followed the wrong man."

Luffy stared at the pirate who had saved his life then turned and glared across the water, "KRRRIIIIIEEEEEG!"

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Krieg continued to laugh. "Feeling sorry for that useless idiot?"

"USELESS IDIOT?" Sanji growled.

"What else would you call an idiot that loses sight of objectives and disobeys orders?" Krieg asked. "He could have repeated his failures if I let him live. Killing him on the spot now to put him out of his misery is how I show my love."

"Gin, don't you dare die!" Luffy ordered the poisoned pirate. "Hang on through sheer willpower. Don't let yourself be killed by someone like him."

Zeff reappeared in the doorway of the Baratie. He had replaced his broken peg leg and had Patty, Carne and the two other cooks with him.

"Looks like he got a dose of the gas," Zeff noted. "You have a poison antidote right?"

"But sir, that's fer food poisonin'," Patty reminded him.

"It'll have to do," Zeff resolved. "Also, put one of those gas masks on him. There's bound to be some kind of antidote in them."

"Right sir," Carne agreed as they gathered Gin and a gas mask and brought him inside. "We've got the first aid kit out back with the other guy. We'll bring this one out there."

Zeff stood next to Sanji as they watched Luffy, "Watch the Chore Boy carefully."

"GUM GUM BULLET!"

 **POW!**

Luffy drove his bare fist through Krieg's spiked Porcupine Cape and sent him flying.

* * *

"What… happened?" Zoro groaned as he struggled to sit up on the back deck when Gin was brought out.

"Krieg poisoned his own guy," Patty answered.

"Zoro-bro, don't overexert yourself!" Johnny warned him.

"Your injuries are barely healed at all," Yosaku added as he pointed down at the numerous bandages that had been wrapped around Zoro's chest. He looked like he was part mummy at this point.

Zoro looked over at Gin as Patty pressed the gas mask down on his face. "Looks like you backed the wrong side. Not only did the prick turn on you but now he's gonna get his ass kicked by Luffy."

"Don… Krieg… can't… be… beaten…" Gin croaked through the gas mask.

"Well you're wrong again," Zoro told him as he began a speech that was eerily similar to the one Zeff was giving Sanji on the other side of the Baratie. "When you're on the battlefield with your life on the line, it's the one who fears death and hesitates that meets their demise. Luffy doesn't hesitate because he knows no fear. Your Captain could come after mine with another hundred weapons and another thousand men but that wouldn't change the outcome of this battle. Luffy is gonna take him down."

Gin hadn't seen Zoro's battle with Mihawk. But he certainly heard about how the fearless swordsman had faced down the monster that had destroyed the Krieg Armada without an ounce of hesitation. Luffy and Zoro were two of a kind. Both fearless warriors that didn't fear death and fought with everything they had without hesitating for second.

"Most people call that type of courage insanity," Zoro admitted, "But with our crew… being insane is practically a requirement."

* * *

 **KA-BOOOOOM!**

A fifth explosion rang out as Luffy and Krieg continued to wage their two-man war.

Krieg had switched his battle staff with his Mighty Battle Spear, a one-ton staff with a pointed blade at the tip that exploded every time it made contact with something.

But Luffy hadn't shied away from the explosive spear for one second and had met it head on.

 **KREK!**

"WHAT?" Don Krieg gaped in shock as the tip broke off his spear. "MY MIGHTY BATTLE SPEAR! WHAT HAPPENED?"

"I happened!" a scorched but still standing Luffy proudly replied. "I just punched it five times! That fifth one was enough to break it. Now your spear is just a bomb on a stick. Pretty useless if you ask me."

"I can't believe he broke Don Krieg's most powerful weapon!" a Krieg Pirate gasped.

"IT'S NOT USELESS!" Krieg roared. "A MERE BOMB ON A STICK IS MORE THAN ENOUGH TO BEAT A STUPID MONKEY LIKE YOU! RAAAH!" Krieg charged at Luffy and swung his tip-less spear at him.

 **SKISH!**

"OOH-OOH-EEK!" Luffy mocked Krieg and screeched like a monkey as he jumped clear over him. Luffy landed behind Krieg and lashed out with a barrage of punches just as he turned around. "GUM GUM GATLING!"

 **BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM!**

"YOU FOOL!" Krieg shouted as Luffy's fist repeatedly slammed into his armored chest. "YOUR PUNCHES ARE NOTHING COMPARED TO MY WOOTZ STEEL ARMOR!"

"AND BULLET!" For the final punch in his barrage Luffy stretched his arm back behind him then snapped it back and smashed his fist into Krieg's chest with even greater force.

 **BANG!**

Krieg's armor continued to shield him from Luffy's assault and he lurched backwards then swung his spear around at Luffy. "YOU INSOLENT BRAT!" The bomb-on-a-stick made contact and exploded.

 **KA-BOOOM!**

Luffy was blasted backwards but got right back up again.

"ABSOLUTELY, COMPLETELY, UTTERLY FUTILE!" Krieg bellowed. "THE GREATEST ARMOR IN THE WORLD COULD NEVER BE BROKEN BY A MEASLY HUNDRED PUNCHES FROM A PUNY MONKEY!"

"Nah, I think I'm just about there," Luffy replied.

"That is _it_!" Krieg snarled. He grabbed the side of his broken main mast and launched himself to the top. The mast was slanted and leaning on the railing which only put it at about twenty feet above the rest of the deck but it was still high enough for what he planned next. "I'LL POUND IT INTO YOUR THICK SKULL! THE ONE WITH THE STRONGEST ARMOR AND WEAPONRY IS THE STRONGEST WARRIOR! AND THOSE WHO DEFY THE STRONG ARE DOOMED TO DIE, HAMMER BOY!"

Krieg pulled out a batch of small black balls each no bigger than an egg and tossed them at the deck.

"He's gonna destroy the entire deck from up there!" one of the Baratie cook's realized. "There'll be nowhere left for the Chore Boy to fight!"

"ONLY THE STRONG SURVIVE!" Krieg taunted.

"Right," Luffy agreed. "And that's me!" He ran and launched himself towards the bombs looking to jump through them before they could hit him.

"Chore Boy! It's a trap!" Sanji warned him.

"So predictable," Krieg scoffed. "RIGHT WHERE I WANT YOU!"

 **KA-BOOM-BOOOM-BOOOM!**

Instead of exploding on contact, Krieg's batch of bombs exploded in midair. Luffy had no way to stop and flew right into the fiery explosion.

"Hmph," Krieg grunted, "There are some things you can't accomplish with just willpower alone.

" **GUM… GUM…"** Krieg's eyes widened in surprise as a badly burned Luffy came flying out the other side of the explosion with his arms stretched back behind him. **"BAAZOOOKAA!"** Luffy snapped his arms forward and slammed both his fists into Krieg's chest.

 **KA-BAM!**

Krieg went flying off the mast and sailed out over the water.

 **Krek-krek!**

Krieg looked down and saw a small crack appear in the middle of his armor.

"YOU MAY HAVE MADE A SMALL CRACK IN MY ARMOR! BUT THIS BATTLE IS OVER!"

 **SKISH!**

Luffy landed on the mast and launched himself after Krieg. "GUUUM… GUUUM… BAAAZOOOKAAA!" Luffy once again slammed both his fists into Krieg's armor.

 **KRESH!**

The wootz steel armor finally gave way to Luffy's monstrous strength and shattered. Krieg coughed up blood as one of Luffy's attacks finally got through his defense.

"DON KRIEG!" Krieg's crew shrieked in alarm at seeing the 'invincible armor' broken.

"DON'T CELEBRATE TOO SOON!" Krieg exclaimed.

 **BANG!**

He fired a net from the gauntlet on his arm and it quickly snagged Luffy. "YOU CAN'T ESCAPE FROM MY IRON NET! I'LL HAVE THE LAST LAUGH! WE'RE OVER THE SEA! I JUST HAVE TO DRAG YOU DOWN WITH ME AND YOU'LL DROWN, HAMMER BOY! I WIN AGAIN! DON KRIEG ALWAYS WINS!"

Krieg grabbed hold of his net as pulled Luffy down with him as he continued to fall towards the water.

"As long as I can stretch my arms and legs… I can still win!" Luffy assured him as he stuck his hands and feet through the holes of Krieg's iron net. Luffy stretched his legs down towards Krieg and twisted his rubber limbs together like a rope as they went.

" _The water's his weak point,"_ Sanji thought to himself. _"He being dragged straight towards it and he's still fighting! He isn't hesitating for a second."_

"You're probably wondering how he can keep fighting," Zeff spoke up from Sanji's side.

" _What's with this guy?"_ an utterly bewildered Don Krieg wondered. _"Despite my weapons and my strength he keeps charging ahead like some wild animal! I'm the Pirate Admiral Don Krieg! But he still doesn't back down!"_

* * *

"Uggh…" Zoro groaned as he shakily got to his feet.

"Zoro-bro!" Johnny called out, "You shouldn't be standing!"

"With your injuries you shouldn't even be able to stand!" Yosaku added.

Zoro took two deep ragged breathes then staggered over to Gin and grabbed the poisoned pirate's arm. "Come with me."

"Wha?" Gin grunted through his gas mask.

"There's something you've gotta see," Zoro told him. "You're gonna see… the power of a will that can smash through any armor."

Zoro hauled Gin up off the deck and despite his grievous from Mihawk managed to drag the pirate through the dining room to the other side of the Baratie.

"THAT GUY SHOULD BE DEAD!" Carne exclaimed.

"WHAT'S WITH THIS CREW?" Patty wondered.

"ZORO-BRO!" Johnny and Yosaku shrieked in alarm as they chased after the swordsman.

* * *

"THIS IS THE END!" Luffy resolved as he shot himself down passed the still falling Krieg while his twisted legs continued to stretch and grow. "You keep calling me 'Hammer-boy' so let's see how you like _this_ hammer!"

"DON'T JUST STAND THERE YOU FOOLS!" Krieg shouted. "SHOOT HIM!"

Krieg's crew pulled themselves up onto the fin deck of the Baratie and aimed a number of guns at Luffy.

But none of them got to fire.

 **THWAK-WAK-WAK-WAK!**

"That's enough outta you," Sanji said as he stood over the fallen pirates.

 **WHAP!**

Luffy feet reached Krieg's face and wrapped around it then his legs started to unwind.

 **WHIR-WHIR-WHIR-WHIR!**

"WAAAAAAHHHH!" Krieg screamed as he spun through the air.

"RAAAAAAHHH!" Luffy roared as he swung Krieg and his legs over his head towards the Baratie. "GUUUM… GUUUM… HAAAAAMMEEEEEERR!"

 **WHAAAAAM!**

Luffy slammed the spinning Krieg down onto the cracked fin deck of the Baratie.

"DON KRIIIEEEG!"

"CHORE BOY!"

"He did it! He really did it!" Patty exclaimed as they followed Zoro and Gin out of the Baratie. "That little brat beat 'the Pirate Admiral' Don Krieg."

"See?" Zoro said simply.

"…" Gin stared in silent wide eyed stock at Krieg's broken body was practically embedded in the already cracked fin deck.

Luffy hadn't stopped falling and was still trapped in the net but he managed to flash a quick smile at his handiwork before he hit the water and went under.

 **SPLASH!**

"If you call the fifty ship fleet, five thousand-man army, booby-trapped armor and poison gas that Krieg had 'strength'," Zoro said, "Then my Captain's strength outclasses his in every way. His weapon is one of a different kind entirely. Conviction: the will to do absolutely anything to achieve a dream and never stop no matter what. Your chump of a Captain was outmatched right from the start."

Zoro didn't realize it but Gin wasn't his only audience. Sanji, Zeff, Johnny and Yosaku were all listening.

"Well said swordsman," Zeff remarked as he turned to head back into the Baratie, "Although, I know of a certain bratty eggplant that would stifle that same conviction for no good reason."

Sanji's face was blank as he looked back at Zeff.

"What're you still standing there for?" Zeff asked. "The Chore Boy's not coming back up on his own. Anyone that's eaten a Devil Fruit is hated by the sea and loses the ability to swim."

"WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING SOONER?" Sanji demanded as he pulled off his suit jacket and kicked off his shoes then ran and dove off the deck of the Baratie after Luffy.

Gin pulled off his gas mask. His eyes were still locked on Don Krieg. "I can't believe he lost… He was… the only man I'd ever admired… I believed he was the strongest… the King of the East Blue…"

 **Splash!**

Sanji resurfaced with an unconscious Luffy. He looked over at Zoro then back down at Luffy. The dedication that the two pirates had to their respective dreams resonated with him and Zeff's comment about his own abandoned dream hammered the point home. "Hey… don't you die on me."

" **I'M THE STRONGEST!"**

Everyone looked to see Don Krieg on his feet again.

"I'VE WON EVERY BATTLE! DON KRIEG ALWAYS WINS!"

But one look at Don Krieg vacant eyes would tell anyone that the defeated Pirate Admiral was unconscious. The fact that he was still standing and screaming showed that he was incapable of accepting the fact that he'd been beaten.

 **POW!**

Don Krieg finally went silent and slumped over Gin's shoulder.

"Don Krieg… we lost."

"Hey… that guy shouldn't be moving," Patty pointed out. "That'll make the poison worse… wont it?"

"How should I know?" Carne retorted.

"Let's retreat for today and start anew," Gin resolved. "Thank you for everything, Sanji."

"Yeah," Sanji replied as Johnny and Yosaku rushed over to help him get Luffy on the deck. "Please _don't_ come again."

"HEY! DID YOU FORGET THAT YOU'VE BEEN POISONED?" Patty shouted.

"THAT'S THE GUY THAT TRIED TO KILL YOU!" Carne added.

Gin ignored them, "Sanji, when he wakes up… pass on a message for me. Tell him 'Let's meet again… in the Grand Line'."

"You mean you still want to go there?" Sanji asked.

"There's nothing else I want to do," Gin confessed, "I never realized it… but I guess Don Krieg's ambition became my own. KOFF! KOFF!" Gin hacked up blood as he hefted Krieg's large frame up across his shoulders. "I want to return to the Grand Line. Maybe I'm a coward for making this decision when I don't have long to live anyway… but it's still my ambition. Only this time… I'll do it _my way_. That way there'll be nothing for me to hide behind. I've used Don Krieg's name as shield for so long… now it's time to see if I can stand on my own. The rubber kid and the swordsman taught me that worrying about your enemies or getting hurt is just pointless worrying."

"Patty, Carne, give them our supply boat," Sanji ordered.

"Why would we give anything to the guys that attacked us?" Carne questioned.

"Those bastards can swim away for all I care!" Patty exclaimed.

"JUST DO IT!" Sanji yelled.

The two cooks flinched and eventually caved. "Fine… you don't haveta yell!"

"Who does he think he is bossin' us around?" Patty grumbled. "One of these days I'll getl that kid."

"But he's inherited the Head Chef's legendary kicks," Carne reminded him.

"Then we'll attack him in his sleep," Patty decided. "Then we cooks might stand a chance."

"Might?" Carne repeated.

Eventually Gin, the surviving pirates and the unconscious Don Krieg left the Baratie on the supply boat. The battle was finally over.

* * *

After the battle Luffy and Zoro got a few hours of much needed rest to recover from their various injuries. Luffy popped right back up while Zoro's injuries from Mihawk were going to last a lot longer.

The Baratie Cooks had attempted to help Luffy convince Sanji to finally join the Straw Hat Pirates by pretending to hate his cooking. Head Chef Zeff had even chimed in by calling Sanji's soup sludge. That had started yet another argument between the Head Chef and Sous Chef that eventually ended when the legendary kicker _punched_ Sanji in the face.

Sanji was infuriated by Zeff's refusal to acknowledge his cooking and stormed out of the room.

"I don't know what you guys are complaining about," Luffy remarked as he, Zoro, Johnny and Yosaku took the pot of soup for themselves. "This is great!"

"More for me, Luffy-bro!" Johnny requested.

"Me too!" Yosaku chimed in.

"I'd prefer a nice bottle of booze," Zoro admitted. "But this stuff's not bad."

"Not bad?" Carne repeated. "Sanji's cooking is great! He's the best cook here after the Head Chef."

"Best I've ever tasted," Patty admitted. "But if we didn't do that he'd never leave."

Zeff turned to Luffy, "You lived up to your part of the deal. You beat Don Krieg. You're free to go. But could you take that little brat with you? It's his dream to go to the Grand Line and see the All Blue."

"Nope," Luffy refused.

"WHAAAAT!?" the cooks, the bounty hunters and even Zoro all shouted.

"Didn't you say you needed a cook?" Zeff questioned. "Did you change your mind? Is Sanji suddenly not good enough for you?"

"Sanji's the best," Luffy agreed, "I definitely want him as my cook. But I've already asked him a bunch of time and he still doesn't want to. I'm not gonna force him. It's gotta be his decision."

"I see," Zeff said. "You have a point. But that rebellious brat is too hardheaded for his own good."

"I guess that means we're done here," Luffy resolved. He turned to look at his sole remaining Nakama. "Hey Zoro, didn't you say you knew where Nami was going?"

"Yeah I did," Zoro replied, "I caught her looking at this." Zoro pulled out a wanted poster. "Some pirate called 'Saw Tooth' Arlong." Zoro motioned to Johnny and Yosaku, "These two know where he is."

"Everyone knows where Arlong is," Johnny admitted, "They just know to stay away from him."

"Arlong is considered even more of a monster than Don Krieg," Yosaku added. "He's not even human!"

"Don't care," Luffy bluntly replied. "If that's where Nami's going then that's where we'll go."

" **I'll go too."**

Everyone turned to see Sanji leaning against the wall smoking a cigarette.

"Your dream's crazy," Sanji said. He glanced behind Luffy at Zoro. "Both of them are. But so is mine. I'll accompany you on your journey to become King of the Pirates and be your Ship's Cook. That way I can accomplish my dream along the way. Does that sound good to you?"

"SOUNDS GREAT!" Luffy cheered. "WOOHOO! I GOT A COOK!"

"Alright Luffy-bro!" Johnny and Yosaku chorused.

"Great, another annoying blonde," Zoro muttered.

"Wanna say that again, moss-head?" Sanji challenged him.

"I would but that'd ruin his good mood," Zoro casually motioned to Luffy who had joined arms with Johnny and Yosaku and was now dancing a jig.

Sanji shook his head and turned to face the other cooks. "That's how it's gonna be. Sorry to put you guys through all the trouble."

"I don't like it one bit!" Patty growled. "If you're gonna leave then we should just kick you out instead!"

"I meant that I was sorry for forcing you guys to resort to shitty acting," Sanji replied.

"YOU KNEW?"

"I've been listening outside the whole time," Sanji told him. "Was insulting my cooking and trampling all over my pride really the best idea you guys could come up with? I bet it was your lame idea, shitty chef. This plan was as bad as your food."

"You arrogant little shit!" Patty spat, "I'm not gonna miss you one bit!"

"Hmph," Zeff grunted. "I've always hated kids. There's not a single day that goes by that I don't regret saving a retched little brat like you."

"Whatever, geezer," Sanji scoffed, "Enjoy the few years you've got left in your miserable life."

* * *

And so it was decided and soon Luffy, Zoro, Johnny, Yosaku and Sanji were all ready to set off.

The cooks had provided them with Sanji's personal boat. Zeff had even offered to give Luffy the log that had caused a lot of the trouble with Don Krieg. But Luffy had point blank refused. He _had_ accepted the cooks' offer to supply them with a whole refrigerator full of meat. Zoro had managed to get them to add some wine and sake.

"Looks like Cook-bro is running late," Yosaku noted as he, Luffy, Zoro and Johnny waited on the boat.

Zoro shook his head. Yosaku had loaned Zoro his green hooded coat which the Straw Hats' Boatswain was now wearing over his mummy shirt and sash.

"Nah, there he is," he pointed out as Sanji walked out the front door of the Baratie with his hands in his pockets.

"…" the Baratie cooks had all gathered in front of the restaurant to give Sanji a proper send off.

" **RAAAH!"** Patty suddenly shouted as he and Carne lunged at Sanji with weapons poised to strike. **"IT'S PAYBACK TIME, SANJI!"**

"YOU'RE GONNA GET IT!" Carne shouted.

 **THWAK! THWAK!**

Patty's plan didn't go well. He and Carne were left lying bloody and battered on the deck behind Sanji.

"Guys… that was just dumb," a cook scolded them.

"Let's go," Sanji resolved as he walked up to Luffy.

"You sure you don't want to say goodbye?" Luffy asked.

"Don't worry about it," Sanji reassured him.

" **Hey Sanji,"** Zeff called out from the balcony on the third floor. "Don't catch a cold."

Sanji froze then spun around, dropped to his knees and bowed so low that his head touched the ground. "ZEEEFF!" Sanji cried, "I'LL ALWAYS GRATEFUL TO YOU FOR TAKING CARE OF ME FOR SO LONG! I'LL NEVER FORGET THE DEBT I OWE YOU FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!"

Zeff smiled and a lone tear leaked out of his eye.

"SANJI, YOU BASTARD!" Patty and Carne both sobbed.

"WE'RE GONNA BE SO LONELY WITHOUT YOU!" Carne cried.

"WE'LL MISS YOU!" Patty bawled, "DAMN YOU FER MAKIN' US CRY!"

"You idiots," Zeff scoffed with a fond smile. "Real men say their goodbyes silently."

"LET'S MEET AGAIN SOMEDAY, YOU GOOD-FOR-NOTHING BASTARDS!" Sanji shouted.

"ALRIGHT! LET'S SET SAIL!" Luffy called out once his new cook was finally on board. "GET READY NAMI! HERE WE COME!"

* * *

Arlong Park Arc is coming up next!

Silver signing off


	16. Arlong

_**BROTHER ON BOARD**_

PsychopathOnADiet - Gin's defining characteristic has always been his utter devotion to Don Krieg. He was willing to accept Don Krieg's 'punishment' of lethal poison because he went against him. I know that a lot of people like Gin and I've even seen a couple of FanFics where he joins another crew. But I could never see him serving anyone other than Don Krieg.

Bluejay Blaze - I don't think Sanji really cares. Luffy and Usopp are proud members of the Bonnie Anne Fan Club. Zoro and Nami are notably against it. Sanji's reaction seems to be middle-of-the-road casual acceptance. He sees that Sabo knows how to treat a lady but is also glad that he's not taking any _actual_ ladies off the market.

Pipi96 - Interesting idea. But wouldn't that make Sabo... **_SANE_**?

Cotton Candy Lover - Chopper - Welcome to the crew, Sanji. Membership comes with a complimentary, custom-made straitjacket. I can't take much credit for being born but I'll pass on your thanks to my mother. I will take the thanks for the story though. I'm glad you like it and I hope you like what I've done to the Arlong Park Arc.

lostdog200 - But before Luffy gets his chance to meet the fishmen... Sabo is going to have to deal with them. It's not going to end well. I wonder why you weren't able to sign up for an account here? It's usually pretty easy. All you really need is a working email.

rasEnshur1KEn - This chapter will show that Sanji is still perfectly willing to be rivals with Zoro. Now the long-suffering swordsman will have _two_ insufferable blondes to deal with and soon enough he'll have Nami's constantly increasing debt as well. I can see Nami barred in her room trying to save herself from the insane zombies. But then again, we haven't seen Nami in treasure-mode or scared-for-her-life mode yet to show how truly crazy she is.

Syluk - Even if he doesn't have Conqueror Haki we'll just say that my version had it unlocked because of all the internal rage he feels towards the World Nobles after his near death experience. Sabo's the charismatic Quartermaster of the Straw hats but he also has some deep-seeded anger issues towards royals and nobles. His reaction to Nami 'rifle-napping' Bonnie is just a taste of what's in store when he finally meets a spoiled royal. As for Johnny and Yosaku, at times I feel like even canon forgets about those two. But I think they're important in showing how much stronger the rest of the Straw Hats are compared to normal people. I feel like their closer association with the Monster Trio will have a longer-lasting impact on their characters.

PipeDream - There were some differences. Mainly, that Zoro was there to have his chat with Gin and that the Dreadnaught Saber's main mast had fallen over before the big fight. I feel like whether Sabo was there or not, Luffy and Krieg still would have fought the same way. It's a pretty bad-ass fight that really showcases Luffy's unstoppable will so I didn't want to just skip over it like I've seen done before. But on the other hand, I don't like just regurgitating canon word for word which is why I hit the fast-forward button a few times during the action last chapter and tend to reword scenes. The fast-forwarding is especially clear during Sanji's fight with Gin.

anomynos - Looks like your second try worked. Yay! A _Mythical_ Zoan Fruit... hmm... I usually don't like the idea of using Mythical Zoans because they seem OP and I prefer to have powers that I can use creatively. But if the fruit is eaten by a gun... maybe it won't count. However, an ultra rare Mythical Zoan Fruit would be even harder for Sabo to find than a regular Dog Dog Fruit Model: Fox.

Mikila94 - Well that's awkward. Apparently Sanji and Zeff were a lot closer than we all thought. I must keep this secret! The 'mistake' has been concealed. Thank you.

Chrisfragger - Hopefully you're still reading. This is a response to your review from chapter 7. I kind of committed to doing Luffy's attacks in English when I started the story. Plus, if I went back and changed Luffy's attacks to Gomu Gomu then I'd have to change Buggy's attacks to Bara Bara and make all the other Devil Fruit Users' attacks Japanese too. It's easier on me to just keep the attacks in a language that I understand. So far Zoro's attacks are the only ones that I'm keeping in Japanese in order to pay homage to that one SBS where Oda said that Zoro would be from Japan is he was in the real world. Other exceptions are Sanji's French attacks and Robin's Spanish-numbered Fleur attacks.

P.S. If Sabo was alive in the real world, I'm positive that he'd be from England. He wears Victorian-style clothing and his character is modeled after the Artful Dodger from Charles Dickens' _Oliver Twist_.

* * *

 **Arlong:**

"I'm on my way, Bonnie!" Sabo called out as he held a paddle in one hand. It was the day after Luffy's battle with Don Krieg and they were well over halfway to Arlong Park. "Nothing's gonna keep me from getting to you, babe!"

"I can't believe we lost the Merry when that shark attacked," Usopp complained. "That paddle wasn't a perfect stand-in for Bonnie but I guess it worked."

"Melee weapons are a little crude but I used to have a pipe before I met Bonnie," Sabo told him. He casually swung the paddle around his side. "This is close enough to serve as a substitute."

Neither Sabo nor Usopp were steering the skiff but it was still cutting through the water at a fairly fast pace.

"So… does this mean we're really heading for Arlong Park?" Usopp asked nervously.

"Yup," Sabo confirmed.

"These fishmen though…" Usopp said, "They sound like monsters!"

"Have you ever met a fishman?" Sabo asked.

"No," Usopp admitted.

"Me neither," Sabo stated, "That means we have no way to know what they're like. They could be perfectly reasonable people. It's rude to just judge people without meeting them yourself."

"Oh, you're right," Usopp agreed. "Maybe this won't be so bad."

"That's the spirit," Sabo encouraged him. "Let's go, Panda! Pick up the pace or you'll get another lump! Full speed ahead to Arlong Park!"

Usopp looked down at the large panda shark that was nearly the same size of their skiff. The huge water monster had attacked their ship but Sabo had taken it down with one swift hit from his paddle. Now the shark was serving as their reluctant steed.

"Right, I'm with you, Sabro!" Usopp resolved.

"Yeah… stop calling me that," Sabo requested.

"Nope!" Usopp refused. "Too bad! It's catchy!"

* * *

"This is it," Nami resolved as she sailed the Going Merry along the coast of Commi Island. She glanced at the towering five-story structure known as Arlong Park as she sailed passed it. It was flying a black flag with a red symbol that matched the tattoo on Nami's exposed right shoulder. "I'm home."

Nami sailed the Going Merry up to the dock outside Cocoyashi Village and spotted three fishman from the Arlong Pirates standing on it.

"Back again Nami?" Shioyaki - a pink salmon fishman in a dark green party shirt that was tied closed with a purple sash – greeted her.

"Should we let Arlong know you've returned?" Pisaro – a blue ocean sunfish fishman with a puffy collar and a purple party shirt – offered. "He'll throw another banquet for you."

"And now it looks like you're stealing ships," Kaneshiro – a light pink goldfish fishman with an open orange party shirt – remarked as he eyed the Going Merry. "That's a caravel isn't it?"

 **(A/N: I'm replacing the three nameless fishmen from canon with these three because they actually have names that appear in the One Piece databooks.)**

"Yeah," Nami confirmed, "I stole it from some pirates. They chased after me for a bit but I managed to give them the slip. I've gotta stash some treasure back at my place but once I do that I'll go see Arlong myself."

Nami went down to the main deck where she'd gathered her latest haul of stolen treasure. She grabbed the various sacks and bags but stopped and eyed the rifle that was still sitting out in the middle of the deck where she'd left it. She'd tried to pick it up another couple of times but each time Bonnie went off and sent her flying.

"Damn it," Nami cursed. "If I leave it sitting out here someone could take it. I've already pissed Sabo off enough… I don't want to completely enrage him by losing his stupid gun."

Nami reached down and picked up Bonnie Anne.

 **KER-CHOW!**

The rifle once again went off without Nami doing anything. The recoil in Nami's one-handed hold sent the thief and her stolen treasure flying across the trip.

 **THUD!**

"Ow…" Nami groaned. The sacks of treasure had 'cushioned' her collision with the railing but gold and jewels weren't exactly soft. "Son of a bitch!"

"Smuggling guns now, Nami?" Pisaro asked.

"It came with the ship," Nami grunted as she rubbed her side and glared at the rifle.

"You know Arlong has a strong anti-weapons policy," Shioyaki reminded her.

"That's for civilians," Nami countered, "I'm an Arlong Pirate."

" **Nami, are you alright?"**

The three fishman stepped aside to reveal a young woman with light blue hair and tattoos. Nami staggered back up and grinned at her sister. "Nojiko? What're you doing down here?"

"I was chasing some brat away from Arlong Park when I saw a ship coming," Nojiko answered. "Most ships know to stay away from here so I thought there was a good chance it was you. I had Genzo clear the towns so you can go through without seeing anyone. Then I heard a gunshot and came over to investigate."

Nojiko turned and glared at the fishmen. "Did you jerks attack Gosa and flip all the houses?"

"That's what happens when a village tries to stop paying their tribute," Kaneshiro stated.

"I don't think I like your tone," Shioyaki warned Nojiko. "We may give you some leeway because you're Nami's sister but don't think that gives you the right to say whatever you want."

"Guys!" Nami called out. "Can you do me two big favors? First, clear out for a couple minutes so my sister and I can have some privacy. I've got a big haul this time and I'm gonna need her help getting all the treasure back to my place. Second, once we're done could you move this ship over to my dock so its out of the way?"

She received three hard stares in response but eventually they conceded.

"Fine," Pisaro agreed, "but only because you just got back. Don't say we've never done anything for you."

The three fishmen left the dock and Nojiko joined Nami on the Going Merry.

"I don't want to add any more pressure to your situation," Nojiko said, "But money's starting to run thin. We're stranded out here since the fishmen have all but cut off trade to other islands. Gosa was only the first village that ran out of money and couldn't afford Arlong's tribute. If things keep up… they're not going to be the last."

"Then how 'bout we end it today?" Nami suggested. "I've still got to count it all but I think I've got all the money I need from this latest trip."

Nojiko looked down at Nami's collection of stolen treasure, "I'll say, you hit the jackpot this time. You even got this adorable pirate ship to go along with it."

"I actually teamed up with some pirates for a bit," Nami admitted, "They weren't anything like the pirates I'm used to and they were all nuts. But they're also really strong and thanks to them I was able to rob Buggy the Clown and Don Krieg. I'm a little sorry that I had to leave them."

Nojiko smiled fondly at her sister. "Really? You made friends?"

"Well don't go overboard," Nami chastised her. "But for a bunch of pirates… they were alright."

Nojiko was still smiling but she changed the subject. "So what was that gunshot I heard?"

Nami pointed accusingly at Bonnie Anne. "That stupid rifle is possessed or something. Every time I touch it the damn thing goes off and the recoil sends me flying. I was trying to do a nice thing and not leave it lying out here but it went off and threw me halfway across the deck."

"Maybe I should take a look at it?" Nojiko suggested as she went over to Bonnie Anne.

"Oh, and suddenly you're an expert?" Nami retorted.

"I know a bit," Nojiko replied as she picked up Bonnie Anne. "Mom taught me how to take care of her old rifle while you were out causing trouble."

 **KER-CHOW!**

Bonnie Anne once again went off on her own and blew Nojiko backwards. But despite getting thrown through the air Nojiko never lost her hold on the rifle.

Nojiko sat up and rubbed her back. "Wow, this baby's got some kick. I can't even imagine the type of damage it does in a fight." Nojiko glanced down at the rifle in her lap. "Ah, there's your problem. Most rifles have a safety switch that keeps them from randomly going off. The switch on this rifle is broken." Nojiko peered closer at the rifle. "Actually... the safety switch has been completely broken off. I wonder who would do that."

Nami scowled. "I know _exactly_ who would do that."

"Other than that this rifle's in really great condition," Nojiko noted. "Whoever you stole it from must've really cared for it."

"Yeah, he chased me halfway across the East Blue when I stole it," Nami admitted. "I managed to give him the slip but just in case he manages to find his way here… I need you to keep an eye out for a tall blonde guy with old-style clothing and a top hat. If you see him, give him that rifle back and tell him 'I'm sorry, I didn't know I had it but if you know what's good for you you'll take it, get on your ship and sail away from here'."

"I think I can pass that on," Nojiko agreed.

"Good," Nami said. "Because I'm finally at the end of this eight year ordeal and I can't afford to have him stick around and mess anything up."

Nami quickly gathered up the treasure slipped off the ship. Nojiko followed her with Bonnie Anne.

"You know, it's been a while since I've maintained a rifle," Nojiko mused. "I bet that top hat guy would be more forgiving if his rifle was cleaned and polished when I returned it to him."

"I honestly don't care what you do with it," Nami told her, "Just keep that damn thing away from me."

* * *

"Wait… so you're saying there are six more pirates like Mihawk!?" Zoro exclaimed as he, Luffy, Sanji, Johnny and Yosaku headed across the East Blue towards Arlong Park in pursuit of Sabo, Usopp and Nami on Sanji's boat.

"Yes, bro," Johnny confirmed. "Hawk Eye Mihawk was just one of the _Seven_ Warlords. They're all legalized pirates that the World Government leaves alone in exchange for a portion of their treasure and the bounties that they pull in. They're all really strong."

"So the World Government actually condones piracy?" Sanji questioned.

"Only for these seven pirates," Yosaku said, "Most pirates call them 'Government Dogs'."

"OH! Dibs on fighting the next one!" Luffy called out.

"You mean you _want to_ fight a Warlord?" Johnny questioned. "Remember how strong Mihawk was Luffy-bro!"

"Yeah, they sound like they're really strong!" Luffy agreed, "And since Zoro already got his chance to fight a Warlord that means I'll get to fight the next one we meet."

"I don't think you're taking this seriously Luffy-bro," Yosaku warned him. "They're—"

"Hold on," Sanji interrupted. "If you and the mossball both get to fight a Warlord then I want a chance to face one too."

"Okay, but only after me!" Luffy replied, "Oh, when Sabo hears about how strong these guys are he'll probably want to fight one too."

"These guys are all monsters," Johnny gravely whispered to Yosaku, "We always knew that Zoro-bro was really strong but these two are just like him! They're a Monster Trio."

"YOU GUYS ARE MISSING THE POINT!" Yosaku yelled. The newly dubbed 'Monster Trio' all turned to look at him, "The problem is that one of the Warlords… Jinbe released a monster into the Grand Line when he was made a Warlord. That monster is Arlong. He's not just a pirate from the Grand Line… he's not even human! He's a fishman!"

"What's a fishman?" Zoro asked.

"Just like it sounds, Zoro-bro," Johnny explained, "They're half-human and half-fish. They're ten-times stronger than normal humans and their fish half allows them to breath underwater. They consider themselves to be evolved and look down on humans as unevolved monkeys."

Luffy frowned. "That's bad. Make the ship go faster."

"Why's it bad?" Sanji asked. "They just sound like a bunch of elitist fish."

"Yeah, Sabo hates those kinds of people," Luffy told him. "If he meets the fishmen… they're gonna end up fighting."

"Oh, so you're worried about the gun-nut getting beaten by fishmen?" Zoro asked.

"What? No!" Luffy replied. "Sabo would never lose to those guys! I'm worried that by the time we get there he'll have beaten them all and there won't be anyone left for _us_ to fight!"

"That _is_ bad," Zoro realized. "We can't let him have all the fun. Hey cook, can't your boat go any faster?"

"Sure, we can lose some extra weight by tossing you overboard," Sanji suggested.

"The only thing here that's useless is you, eyebrows!" Zoro snapped.

"What if we all start paddling?" Luffy suggested. "Will that make us get there faster?"

"My boat doesn't _have_ paddles," Sanji told him.

"Oh, so it's just as useless as you!" Zoro realized.

"If you're gonna call your Ship's Cook useless then that must mean you're not very hungry," Sanji reasoned. "So in that case I'll make lunch for everybody _but you_."

"That's fine!" Zoro retorted. "I don't need your fancy food! I prefer booze anyway!"

"Wait, Sanji, did you just say 'lunch'?" Luffy questioned. "I want meat on a bone!"

"Fine, coming right up," Sanji agreed.

"…" Johnny and Yosaku stared at the three Straw Hats in silent shock.

Eventually, Johnny spoke up. "Just who are these guys? They seem more concerned with fighting each other and eating lunch than the fishmen."

"Oh, Cook-bro!" Yosaku called out, "I'll have some beansprouts."

"And… it appears the lack of concern is contagious," Johnny lamented.

"Meat and beansprouts," Sanji recounted as he slipped into the boat's galley, "That's hardly a test of my cooking talents. I'd rather be cooking for Nami than you ingrates."

"Oh, I know how to get us there faster!" Luffy exclaimed. "You two! Gimme your swords!"

Johnny and Yosaku stared dumbfounded at him. "What?"

"Just gimme!" Luffy ordered.

"If he thinks we can get there faster then you might as well do as he says," Zoro advised.

"Fine," Yosaku conceded as he and Johnny handed over their swords.

"Luffy-bro, what're you doing?" Johnny asked.

"Just watch!" Luffy replied as he started to twist both of his rubber arms like a screw while he held one katana in each hand. Luffy ran to the back of the boat and dunked his arms in the water. "GUM GUM... PROPELLER!"

 **SHOOOOOOM!**

Luffy's arms started to unwind and the two katana blades served as propeller blades and caused the boat to start speeding across the water.

"Whoa!" Zoro exclaimed. "Keep it up Luffy! At this rate we'll be there in no time!"

* * *

"Is… is that the place?" Usopp whimpered as he and Sabo stared at the massive five-storied structure of Arlong Park.

" **GRAAH!"**

The panda shark pulling their ship suddenly stopped short.

"Hey? What's the big idea?" Sabo complained.

 **CHOMP!**

The panda shark lurched to the side and bit through the ropes securing it to their ship then turned tail and swam off as fast as its fins could carry it.

"And I though tuna were supposed to be the chicken of the sea!" Sabo called after the shark.

"I'm starting to think that coming here was a bad idea," Usopp remarked. "If the shark was even scared of this place then I think that's a good sign that we _shouldn't go there_!"

"What kind of self-respecting pirate are you?" Sabo asked. "Where's your sense of adventure?"

"I'm the kind of pirate that likes to _live through_ his adventures!" Usopp snapped.

"Well if it makes you feel better we're not going to Arlong Park," Sabo told him.

"We're not?" Usopp repeated.

"We came to rescue Bonnie and the Going Merry," Sabo reminded him. "I don't see the Merry near that place so we'll have to keep looking along the coast of the island."

"Oh, thank God!" Usopp sighed in relief. He wiped his brow and smiled as they sailed right passed Arlong Park "I wholeheartedly support this plan! We'll stay away from that scary place and just focus on finding Bonnie and the Merry."

"Although," Sabo added, "if we _do_ spot Nami along the way I did kind of promise Luffy that I'd let the rifle-napper explain herself."

"I'm fine as long as we stay away from those fishmen and Arlong Park," Usopp insisted.

"Well… good news," Sabo said, "I think I see the Merry up ahead."

Usopp squinted as he stared in the direction that Sabo pointed. He spotted the familiar caravel anchored on a small dock beyond the main one for Cocoyashi Village. "You're right! That _is_ the Merry! Whatever hunch you had that Nami would come back here was dead on! But that's a weird spot to anchor it."

"Maybe that's Nami's personal dock," Sabo suggested. "But unfortunately it looks like there's bad news to go along with the good news. I believe those three guys on the dock are fishmen so it looks like we won't be able to completely avoid them."

"M-maybe we could come back later?" Usopp stammered a suggestion, "Those fishmen look like monsters."

Sabo turned and glared at him. "I'm not going to let you, three fishmen, _or_ _anything_ stop me from getting Bonnie back. You can stay here if you're too scared. But I'm not about to discriminate against a bunch of guys I've never met and label them as monsters just because they look different than I do."

"I… right," Usopp said suitably chastised. "I'm sorry. That was rude and small-minded of me. Maybe they'll be nice."

The three fishmen on the dock looked up and watched as they two pirates sailed right up to them and tied their small ship to the dock.

"Hey there, fellas!" Sabo greeted them with a flourish as he stepped off the boat.

"You guys lost?" Kaneshiro asked as he folded his arms across his chest.

"Nope," Sabo replied. "My name's Sabo. I'm the Quartermaster of the Straw Hat Pirates." Sabo turned and pointed at the Going Merry's Jolly Roger. "Looks like I made it to the right place."

"Oh, so you're Nami's latest victims, eh?" Pisaro questioned.

"I guess so," Sabo said. He eyed the tall fishmen that were each two heads taller than him. "So you guys are fishmen, huh?"

"Yeah? What of it?" Shioyaki challenged him.

"Nothing," Sabo answered, "I'd heard stories about fishmen before but I've never actually met one until now. I didn't realize you guys were all so big. I guess you ate your vegetables as kids."

"Well, we've got bad news for you humans," Shioyaki announced, "This is Arlong's territory and anyone that sets foot on this island has to have Arlong's permission first."

"If that's the rule than I'd be happy to oblige," Sabo agreed, "However, I was hoping you guys could do me one quick favor before we go see him." Sabo motioned to the Going Merry. "You see, that thief didn't just take our ship and our treasure. She also kidnapped my girlfriend."

"Kidnapped?" Pisaro repeated.

"Wow, that girl's getting more devious by the day," Kaneshiro remarked.

"Bonnie means the world to me," Sabo explained, "Would you guys mind terribly if I took five minutes to search our ship for her? Then I'll gladly go see Arlong with you. In fact, we'll give you guys a ride over there if you'd like."

"Fine, five minutes," Shioyaki relented, "But only because if there's another person here on your ship that means she'll have to meet Arlong too."

Usopp decided that now _definitely_ wasn't the time to tell the three scary-looking fishmen that Sabo's girlfriend was a rifle.

"Thanks guys, I owe you one," Sabo said as he slipped passed the fishmen and boarded the Going Merry.

Usopp now found himself as the sole focus of the three fishmen's attention.

"So what's your story, long nose?" Shioyaki asked.

"I… I just came to get our ship b-back and rescue Sabo's g-girlfriend," Usopp stammered. "Are… are you guys really from the Grand Line?"

"Sure are," Pisaro replied, "Straight from Fishman Island."

"Wow," Usopp remarked. "I heard that the Grand Line whittled 'Pirate Admiral' Don Krieg's armada down to just one ship and only one hundred pirates. If you guys used to live there then you must be really strong."

"Of course," Shioyaki replied. "Fishmen are ten-times stronger than you humans. So don't forget your place."

"I… right," Usopp quickly agreed. That seemed rude. "I don't wanna mess with you guys."

"That ship of yours," Kaneshiro said as he motioned to the Merry. "As Arlong's Shipwright I can tell that it's brand new. You humans haven't been sailing for long have you?"

"Well, this is my first time off my island," Usopp admitted, "And this is the Going Merry's maiden voyage."

"Ah, so you humans are rookie pirates," Shioyaki realized, "That explains why Nami was able to pull such a big one over on you so easily."

"Yeah… I guess so…" Usopp said as he attempted to not feel insulted.

"Damn it, she's not here," Sabo complained as he came and leaned on the Going Merry's railing. "Did you guys see Nami take anything off the ship?"

"Her sister came by and she asked us to clear out for a bit," Kaneshiro admitted. "She could've done it then while we weren't watching."

"Damn her," Sabo growled, "That means Bonnie could be anywhere on this strange island."

"Time's up, human," Shioyaki announced. "You've gotta come see Arlong now."

"Right, of course," Sabo agreed, "That was the deal. You've been more than fair." Sabo jumped off the Merry and landed on the dock. "You guys want a lift to Arlong Park?"

"We don't need a lift," Shioyaki insisted. "We're going to tow you humans there."

"Really?" Sabo asked. "Doesn't that seem kind of… demeaning?"

"It's more efficient," Kaneshiro stated, "Fishmen are evolved to be stronger and faster swimmers than you humans. We're the ones that pulled your caravel from the Cocoyashi dock to this one. We'll get you to Arlong Park faster than you ever could yourselves."

"Oh, well if you're sure," Sabo said, "By all means, go ahead."

Sabo stepped back onto the skiff and the three fishmen jumped into the water and grabbed hold of the skiff then took off.

 **SHHOOOOM!**

"WOW!" Sabo exclaimed as they skiff was hauled through the water by the three fishmen, "They were right! This is way faster than we were going with that chicken-shark."

"Sabo… I've got a bad feeling about this," Usopp whispered as Arlong Park approached.

"Why?" Sabo asked. "Arlong clearly takes his duty of protecting this island very seriously if he insists on meeting everyone that lands here. How bad can he be?"

"These fishmen…" Usopp said, "I'm trying not to be judgmental like you said… but they said some things that makes me think they're not the nice, reasonable people that you're depicting them as. This is the one place I _didn't_ want to go and I don't think it's going to end well."

"Well if I'm wrong and Arlong turns out to be a jerk you can say 'I told you so'," Sabo offered.

Usopp swallowed hard as the gates to Arlong Park swung opened and they were pulled inside.

* * *

Nami knelt at the edge of a modest tangerine grove outside her small house on the outskirts of Cocoyashi Village.

"It's all here…" Nami mumbled.

Nami stood up and practically danced back to the house. Nojiko was sitting on the front step carefully polishing Bonnie Anne. Nami tossed a sack of money at her sister.

"What's this?" Nojiko asked.

"The three million berries that I had left over," Nami answered.

"Left over?" Nojiko repeated. "You mean…"

Nami's face split into a wide grin. "I finally did it. I got all one hundred million berries. Everything I've done over these last eight years has finally paid off. Now I can buy our village back from Arlong. We survived… just like Bellmere said… and that means…"

Nojiko put Bonnie Anne down and quickly stood up and drew Nami into a tight hug. "That means lots of good times are coming our way. You're free Nami. You can finally chase your dream and draw your map of the entire world."

Nami hugged her sister and used the back of her hand to wipe her eyes. She wasn't crying! These were tears of joy!

"I've gotta go," Nami announced as she broke the hug and pulled away. "I need to make sure Arlong will still live up to his end of the deal like he promised."

Nami ran off and left a smiling Nojiko behind her. The blue haired girl looked back at the rifle she was halfway through polishing. "I'll finish this then I'll go tell Genzo the good news. Nami's finally come through for us just like we knew she would."

* * *

"So… you're Arlong," Sabo noted as he and Usopp stood in front of Arlong's throne.

Their boat was still sitting in the waterway of Arlong Park but the three fishmen that had brought them in all stood in front of it barring their path.

"That's right," Arlong confirmed. "And you're the two humans my fishman brothers caught trespassing on my land."

"We were following a thief," Sabo explained.

"Oh, so you're Nami's latest victims, eh?" Arlong questioned. "That girl's a crafty one. She's one of the few humans that I actually like. That's why I made her an officer on my crew."

"Nami's a member of your crew?!" Usopp blurted out.

"She has been for eight years," Arlong replied. "That girl's an expert cartographer. We fishmen are great at gathering undersea information but it's all useless without a skilled cartographer to turn it into an sea charts. Nami's maps and charts are the best I've ever seen."

"I see," Sabo said, "And we thought she was just a skilled navigator."

"You can forget about your treasure and your ties with that girl," Arlong warned them. "Even if she's just a human she's still a valued member of my crew."

"I don't really care about the treasure," Sabo admitted, "We chased after her because she stole our ship and kidnapped my girlfriend."

"Kidnapped your girlfriend?" Arlong repeated. "I thought she was just stealing. That girl gets more impressive with each passing day. I knew I'd turn her into a true pirate eventually. Shahahaha!"

"Well, I guess I'll have to tell my Captain that Nami's already a member of your pirate crew," Sabo reasoned. "He'll be disappointed. I think he really liked her but there's nothing to be done about it if her loyalty lies with you. Now if you could just give me permission to search this island for my girlfriend then the two of us can find her, get on our ship and leave."

"You may not care about treasure but I do," Arlong stated, "Money makes the world go round. If you want my permission to enter my territory unharmed then you've got to pay the toll just like everyone else here on the island."

"Everyone else?" Usopp echoed suspiciously. He looked over at Sabo but found that the Quartermaster had gotten distracted.

"Hey, is it racist if I ask what kind of fish you are?" Sabo suddenly asked. "This is my first time meeting fishmen and couldn't help noticing that you all seem to be a different kind of fish. I'm assuming you're a sawshark which explains your nickname 'Saw Tooth'." Sabo motioned towards Hachi. "That guy over there with the six arms is clearly part octopus and the one with the arm blades is some kind of a ray." Sabo nodded at Kuroobi. "But I'm not the best at identifying fish so I can't make heads or tails of what you are… maybe a type of kisser fish?" Sabo pointed at Choo.

"For your information, I'm a smelt whiting fishman, **choo** ," Choo answered irritably.

"I have no idea what that is," Sabo confessed. "All I know is that you're half fish."

"Half fish?" Arlong growled. "We're not half fish. We fishmen are evolved _from_ humans! We're bigger, stronger and can breathe underwater. That means we're more than you puny humans could ever be! WE'RE THE LORDS OF CREATION!"

"Look, I seem to have upset you," Sabo realized, "That wasn't my intention. The last thing I want to do here is come across as prejudiced or discriminating. I didn't come here to fight."

"You're damn right you didn't!" Arlong snapped. "A human could never beat a fishman! That would be an exercise of futility! It's like going against nature!"

"Riiight…" Sabo said. His smile was notably strained. "I _certainly_ wouldn't want to do that."

Arlong glared at him. "You want to search _my island_? Then you're gonna pay me the same tribute that everyone else does! One hundred thousand berries a head! That's two hundred thousand for the two of you and another hundred thousand when you find your girlfriend."

"Th-three hundred thousand?" Usopp repeated. "We don't have that kind of money."

Arlong's shark-like grin turned deadly, "Then you'll face the same penalty that everyone who fails to pay me… death!"

"DEATH!?" Usopp shrieked in alarm. "Sabo! I think we've overstayed our welcome! Let's get out of here!" He looked over and found Sabo rooted in place.

"You force the people here… to pay you a tribute… just to stay alive?" Sabo questioned. His smile had now completely vanished and his top hat was tilted forward to hide his eyes.

"That's right!" Arlong confirmed. "This entire region is my territory, my Arlong Empire! The puny humans that live here pay me a monthly tribute and in exchange I allow them to live. The ones that can't pay… we use as an example to show why you puny humans should never go against your superiors!"

Sabo turned to Usopp, "You were right. Feel free to say 'I told you so'."

"At this point I don't think I want to!" Usopp whimpered.

"You know, I don't care that you're a fishman," Sabo stated as he turned back to face Arlong, "I don't care that you've got a huge ego. I can even ignore that fact that you seem to think your race is the best one in the world. But what I can't stand is the fact that you're an elitist tool that thinks just because you're strong and 'more evolved' that it automatically makes everyone else is inferior to you! The people on this island aren't alive just to be your slaves!"

"SLAVES!?" Arlong roared. "YOU DARE TO THROW THAT WORD BACK IN MY FACE!? NOT AFTER WHAT _YOUR SPECIES_ HAS DONE TO MINE! You humans branded us and treated us like exotic pets! WE'RE NOT BENEATH YOU! WE'RE YOUR SUPERIORS! WE'RE BETTER THAN YOU PUNY HUMANS COULD EVER HOPE TO BE!"

"You know what's funny?" Sabo asked. "Those same humans that you just complained about are the ones that I'm looking to take down. My dream is to eliminate the Celestial Dragons."

"What?" All the fishmen, even Arlong, stared at Sabo in shock.

"Is he crazy?" Kuroobi asked.

"Who're the Celestial Dragons?" Usopp wondered.

"I didn't know that you had such a huge grudge against those disgusting bubble-headed snobs," Sabo admitted. "And if you weren't such a hypocritical, elitist prick that turned around did the _same thing_ to an island of humans… I would've suggested working together to get rid of them. Maybe we could've seen passed this whole species-issue and become friends."

"FRIENDS? WITH A HUMAN?" Arlong shouted. "I'D RATHER DIE! YOU WORTHLESS MAGGOTS CAN'T BE TRUSTED!"

"Arlong! You need to calm down!" Kuroobi warned him. "You'll end up destroying Arlong Park if you keep this up."

Arlong seethed as he glared furiously at Sabo and took a series of deep breaths. But suddenly a thought crossed the fishman Captain's mind and a grin split his face. "SHAHAHAHAHAHA! That must be it! You're not just ignorant… you're delusional too! Not only do you not know and fear your evolved superiors but to actually think that an insignificant human pest like yourself could ever hope to take out the Celestial Dragons proves that you're biggest brain-dead idiot that I've ever had the misfortune to come across."

"Okay… _now_ you've crossed the line," Sabo announced.

 **SKISH!**

Sabo launched himself backwards and drove both his boots into Shioyaki's stomach.

 **THWHAM!**

The fishman dropped into the waterway while Sabo flew over him and landed in the skiff. He quickly picked up his paddle then vaulted off the ship at Kaneshiro and Pisaro.

 **WHA-WHACK!**

One swing of the paddle knocked the other two fishmen away from him.

"Well would you look at that," Sabo taunted as he walked back over to the petrified Usopp and brandished his paddle. "This puny human just took out three big, bad fishmen. Do you still want to rub that self-righteous sense of superiority in my face?"

"KILL HIM!" Arlong bellowed. The fishmen charged at the two Straw Hats.

"Usopp… run for it," Sabo instructed.

"WHAT!?" Usopp yelped.

"I got you into this mess," Sabo said, "So I'm gonna get you out of it. Run for the gate. I'll cover you and hold them off as long as I can."

Usopp ran and Sabo followed him.

 **WHACK!**

Sabo spun and sent two fishmen flying with swing of his paddle then spun and shot past Usopp to take out three that were blocking the door.

 **KRACK!**

" **NYU!** HEY, HUMANS!" Hachi called out from the waterway. "YOU FORGOT YOUR BOAT!" The octopus fishman used the suction cups on his six arms and his impressive fishman strength to haul Johnny and Yosaku's skiff up out of the water and into the air… then threw it at them. "HERE!"

 **WOOSH!**

"WAAAAAAAHHHH!" Usopp screamed in terror as the boat came flying at them **.**

Sabo spun around and met the incoming skiff with a swing of his paddle.

 **KER-RACK!**

The small ship went flying backwards and crashed down on a group of wide-eyed fishmen,

 **KA-BOOOSH!**

"Oops! Sorry guys, **nyu**!" Hachi apologized.

"Nice hit!" Usopp praised Sabo.

"What're you still doing here?" Sabo asked. "Go!"

Usopp nodded and barreled through the doors out of Arlong Park.

"Enough of this," Kuroobi grunted as he stalked towards Sabo.

Sabo swung his paddle at the ray fishman.

 **KRECK!**

Kuroobi's fist smashed straight through Sabo's wooden paddle and broke it in half.

"Huh…" Sabo said as he held the two broken halves of his weapon.

"Your toy is no match for my Fishman Karate." Kuroobi gave Sabo a smug grin and Sabo quickly threw the broken paddle in his face. "Wah!" The ray fishman lurched backwards in surprise before Sabo jumped up and drove both his boots into his chest.

 **THWAK!**

Kuroobi went flying, landed hard but quickly sat up and started to get back up. "You punk!"

 **SPLAT!**

Sabo was suddenly struck in the side with a blast of water and dropped to the ground.

" **Choo** , _that's_ the power of a fishman, puny human," Choo taunted.

* * *

Usopp had run out of Arlong Park but he hadn't gone far. A familiar face was right outside.

"N-Nami!" Usopp stammered in surprise.

"You guys just had to show up and cause trouble," Nami grumbled.

"Is it true… are you really a member of Arlong's Crew?" Usopp asked. "Are you one of them?"

Nami pointed at the Arlong Tattoo on her shoulder. "What's that tell you? I can't afford to let you idiots mess up everything I've worked for over the last eight years. So now I've gotta clean up this mess you've made."

The former-Straw Hat Navigator pushed passed Usopp and slipped into Arlong Park.

Usopp stared after her. "I want to run… but I can't… I can't leave him alone in there with that witch and those monsters…"

* * *

"If I… had my rifle… you'd be dead…" Sabo grunted as he staggered back up.

"I don't need a gun to kill you, **choo** ," Choo retorted. "Water Bullet!"

Choo spat another blast of high pressure water at Sabo through his puckered lips.

 **SPLAT!**

The water once again knocked Sabo off of his feet.

That was when Nami walked in and found Sabo on the ground in front of her.

"Oh… there she is…" Sabo realized, "There's the thieving kidnapper." He stood up again and glared at Nami. "Where's Bonnie?"

"Back at my place," Nami answered.

 **SPLAT!**

Sabo was hit by another water bullet from Choo and hit the ground again.

"Don't bother getting back up, **choo** ," the smelt whiting fishman advised.

"Nami, welcome back," Arlong greeted his cartographer. "I see you made some friends on your latest trip."

"I wouldn't call this guy a friend," Nami replied, "More like a crazy pain-in-the-ass."

"Shahahahahaha!" Arlong laughed, "You've got that right. Did you really kidnap his girlfriend?"

"This idiot calls his rifle his girlfriend," Nami explained. "He left it on the ship when I stole it. Honestly, I didn't even know it was there until he started following me. I thought it shook 'em but it looks like this idiot doesn't know when to quit."

"Wait… that rifle… is his girlfriend?" Kaneshiro asked.

"Go suck on a salmon!" Sabo spat as he pushed himself back up again. Shioyaki the Salmon fishman blanched. "I don't need to justify myself to a bunch of talking fish."

 **SPLAT!**

" **Choo** , you're right about him not knowing when to quit," Choo commented as Sabo fell over.

" **SABO! RUN FOR IT!"** Usopp suddenly yelled from on top of the wall. "SPECIAL ATTACK: SMOKE STAR!" Usopp fired his slingshot and the projectile hit the ground next to Sabo.

 **FWOOOSH!**

The round exploded and created a thick cloud of smoke. Nami squinted and spotted Sabo's silhouette through the smoke as he tried to sneak passed her. She quickly pulled her trusty bo staff out from her shirt.

 **WHACK!**

Sabo hadn't seen the attack coming and went flying back towards the edge of the waterway.

"Ugghhh... Damn it..." Sabo cursed. He looked up to see Nami walk up to him.

"You have no idea what's going on here," Nami growled. "But I've got eight years invested in this and I'm not going to let you ruin everything. I need you out of the way."

"Oh yeah?" Sabo retorted as he stood up. "What're you gonna do about it?"

Nami drew a knife and lunged.

 **Chunk!**

The smoke cleared and the fishmen saw that Nami had Sabo pinned back against the waterway and had just stabbed him with a knife. Her hands were coated in blood.

"It's just business," Nami intoned, "I had no choice." Nami kicked Sabo away from her and let him drop into the waterway. "For once in your life just shut your mouth and die quietly."

 **SPLASH!**

Sabo's body sank but his signature top hat floated to the top. Nami reached out and grabbed it.

"No… NO!" Usopp gasped. "Nami… you… you killed him!"

Nami turned and glared at him. Sabo's blood still covered her hands. "Get out of here before you get the same treatment."

Usopp slipped off the wall and took off running. _"Oh no! What'll I do? What do I tell LuffY? NAMI KILLED HIS BROTHER! NAMI KILLED SABO! OH GOD! WHAT'LL I TELL **BONNIE**? SHE'S GONNA BE FURIOUS!"_

"Should we really let him go?" Shioyaki asked.

"That guy's harmless," Nami replied. "He'll scream and tell everyone what happened here which will really only end up boosting Arlong's reputation."

"Good idea, Nami," Arlong remarked. "And on top of that, you're a killer now too! You've grown up to be a truly formidable woman. I'm proud to have you on my crew."

"I wasn't about to let him ruin eight years' worth of hard work," Nami replied then she cleared her throat. "Eh-hem, Arlong, I've finally got all the money I needed for my end of our agreement. I'm ready to pay you one hundred million berries in exchange for Cocoyashi Village."

Arlong looked surprised then he grinned and clapped his webbed hands. "Shahahahaha! Well done, Nami! This is truly a momentous day! You've worked hard these last eight years. I'm proud of you. Allow us to celebrate your return and all your hard work with a special banquet in your honor."

"You can still drink like a fishman, right Nami?" Pisaro the Crew Musician asked as he pulled out a set of maracas. "Let's have a party!"

"I guess I could have a few drinks," Nami agreed. "Let me go wash this blood off my hands first..."

"Of course, go ahead Nami," Arlong encouraged her. "We'll get everything ready in the meantime."

Nami nodded and headed into Arlong Park.

It wasn't until Nami was completely out of earshot that Arlong's grin faded into a scowl. He turned and glared at Kuroobi, "Call Nezumi. I don't want a single berri left in that tangerine grove of hers after he's done with it."

"Yes sir," Kuroobi agreed.

Arlong turned to the rest of his crew, "The rest of you are to keep Nami occupied as long as possible so Nezumi can do his work."

"That was a close one, **choo** ," Choo remarked. "I almost thought you were going to let Nami slip through your fingers."

"That girl's way too valuable for me to allow that to happen," Arlong replied with a cruel smirk. "She's just going to have to start collecting all over again. Once she's charted of all the world's oceans for me _then_ I'll let her go. Shahaha! Now what're you all standing around for? We've got a banquet to throw!"

* * *

So yeah... Nami killed Sabo. What is Luffy's reaction going to be to Nami killing his brother? See you next week!

Silver signing off


	17. Nezumi

_**BROTHER ON BOARD**_

The Poarter - If Nami died the Straw Hats would all die. It's a simple fact. Nami's 'weather sense' has saved them from deadly storms multiple times. Without their Navigator I doubt that the Straw Hats would have even made it to Whisky Peak. Also, if Sabo died I wouldn't have much of a story. Hopefully I'm writing this well enough that you don't actually _want_ _him_ dead.

Johnny Spectre - From across the island? Not likely. She's not Van Auger. But from the other side of a town? Maybe. It depends on the size of the fishman's nose. Arlong's long nose is an easier target than say... Kuroobi's normal-sized one.

Stoneificaunt - Two Devil Fruits on a gun? I think that might be pushing it. Bonnie doesn't really need to be human. The Straw Hats are wacky enough to accept Bonnie as Nakama even if she only ate the Dog Dog Fruit Model: Fox. Half of them accept her as Nakama when she's just a gun.

Transformers g1's-Prime - Would you actually consider twenty years a long life? I'd like to think that the average life expectancy for pirates that aren't nameless henchmen in the Great Pirate Era is a bit longer than just twenty years. Whitebeard was an exception that lived into his seventies. But most of the non-Straw Hat characters seem to have ages that range from the early twenties to the late fifties. There's a cool quiz on Sporcle called 'One Piece: Character Ages Quiz' where you have to match 55 of the One Piece characters to their pre-Time Skip ages. Give it a shot if you're interested in testing your knowledge in that area. I can usually get around 80-90 percent. 100 if I try a second time.

Chrisfragger - I doubt even that would motivate Luffy to actually _kill_ Nami. Maybe give her a beating but even that's pushing it a bit. Luffy considers Nami a friend so if she actually murdered his brother I think he would be more heartbroken than angry. Coincidentally, that's the reaction that I went with.

rasEnshur1KEn - Pay attention to Nami actions in Arlong Park. She blatantly told Sabo where Bonnie was then provided a cover for him to escape and even convinced the fishmen to let Usopp go. Perhaps saving Sabo from the fishmen makes up for kidnapping his girlfriend? Luffy's impulsive creativity is one of the things I love about him. He just _does things_. He doesn't stop to think if they'll work or if there'll be consequences for it. He just does it and most of the time it ends up working out and looking really cool. Prime example: the Gum Gum Pinwheel.

Pippalina - NAMI... WHHHYYYYYYY? Oh wait... we already know why, don't we?

PipeDream - Is it really idiotically optimistic to want to give people the benefit of the doubt and not judge them without meeting them for yourself? I feel like that's the basis of a happier and more accepting world. Sabo legitimately tried to get along with the fishmen. I'd like to think that if more humans did that there wouldn't be such a divisive split between the two species. But then Arlong revealed his true colors and that set Sabo off.

lostdog200 - No problem. Read you next week!

Syluk - But Nami also took steps to make up for her actions afterwards. She told Sabo where Bonnie was then helped both him and Usopp leave Arlong Park alive. True, things with Luffy are going to get worse before they get better. But since we all know that Nami didn't _actually_ kill Sabo that means Luffy should instantly forgive her when he finally finds out the truth. That's what he does.

Narya Anima - That one's a no can do. Chopper already ate the Hito Hito no Mi/Human Human Fruit. There can't be two version of the same fruit. And there's no way in hell that I'm taking that away from him. I could never use that power as creatively as Oda has Chopper use it. Maybe there's a different Hito Hito no Mi model... but I can't think of anything beyond Sengoku's Buddha model that doesn't stray too far into OP Mystic Zoan territory.

The Patient One - Welcome aboard! Glad you're enjoying the ride so far. Thanks for all the reviews. You picked a good time to start reading because here's the latest new chapter.

This one's a whopper! Almost 10,000 words _before_ I added my review responses. Enjoy my longest chapter yet!

* * *

 **Nezumi-**

Two marine ships crossed paths on their way to the Conomi Islands where Arlong Park was located.

"Commodore Pudding Pudding what brings you to these parts?" Marine Captain Nezumi inquired. He wore a gray uniform with rat ears and even had mouse-like whiskers. "Aren't you with the 77th Branch?"

"That's _Purin Purin_ ," the higher ranked marine officer corrected the rat-like man. His light purple hair was braided into an elaborate series of loopy ponytails. "I received a distress call that those fishman monsters destroyed a village. I'm here to collect the surviving refugees and bring them to safety."

"Destroyed a village?" Nezumi repeated. "You don't say? I'm on my way to the Conomi Islands as well. Please, allow me to handle things there. I'll collect the refugees and do my best to investigate the situation. This is my jurisdiction and I've proven over the last few years that Arlong can be reasonable."

The Marine Commodore frowned, "I don't like it. I don't like the idea of leaving those fishmen to their own devices. They need to face justice for their crimes."

"What crimes are those exactly?" Nezumi asked. "If you had taken the time to read my regular reports you'd know that Arlong has been mostly quiet since he arrived in the East Blue. In fact, his reputation has been keeping _other pirates_ away from this area. Chichichi!" Nezumi let out a squeaky rat-like laugh as he lied through his large bucked teeth. "Arlong destroying a village is highly irregular. Either someone was exaggerating or something big set him off. That's why I'll be sure to investigate the situation. We need to know what really happened there."

"We should just get rid of that fish bastard now," Purin Purin insisted.

"But he _is_ backed by the Warlord Jinbe," Nezumi reminded. "We wouldn't want to anger one of the Seven Warlords by attacking one of their allies. Arlong's been quiet ever since that first year he claimed the Conomi Islands as his territory. That's the way we want him. Seeing a new face might provoke him and the last thing we need is a crew of angry fishmen raging their way through the East Blue."

"Very well," the Marine Commodore finally conceded. "This _is_ your jurisdiction and you do have years of experience in dealing with Arlong and his fishman cronies. I'll allow you to investigate but I want to hear a full report of your findings in three hours' time. Otherwise I'll come and take a look at things myself."

"Of course," Nezumi agreed, "Expect to hear from me soon."

Captain Nezumi scowled as his ship continued towards Conomi Islands. _"Who does that pompous bastard think he is? I haven't spent these last several years keeping Arlong's actions quiet for nothing. Maybe I should have let him investigate… Arlong would've taken care of the Commodore and I'd never have to deal with him again."_

Commodore Purin Purin frowned as he watched Captain Nezumi sail away. "I don't trust that rat. Forget the three hours. We'll give him _two_ then go to investigate. I want those fish out of my ocean."

* * *

Even closer to the Conomi Islands, Sanji's boat was back to its steady pace as they continued to drift closer to Arlong Park. The small crew had taken a break for lunch so they could refuel their 'engine'.

"DISS ISH SHO GOOD!" Luffy mumbled through a mouthful of meat.

"Yeah, yeah, eat up," Sanji encouraged him. "The faster you finish the faster we can get to Nami."

None of the five noticed the large silhouette that was lurking underneath Sanji's small boat having been drawn by the delicious smell food.

* * *

Back at Arlong Park, Nami's distraction banquet was fully underway. Nami had proven that she could even outdrink a fishman as evidenced by the pile of three passed out fishmen that she'd managed to drink under the table.

"Impressive Nami," Arlong praised her, "You're really knocking 'em back."

"Oh this is nothing," Nami boasted as she raised a mug in her now-gloved hand. "I'm just getting started. Maybe I'll actually feel a buzz after another half dozen cups."

"Shahahaha!" Arlong laughed, "Atta girl!"

" **Arlong, Arlong! Nyu!"** Hachi called out as he came over to Arlong with a fishing pole that had an entire roasted pig dangling from the hook. "Mohmoo never came for his lunch. I don't understand way. Roasted pig is his favorite, **nyu**."

"Maybe your pet found food somewhere else," Arlong suggested. "This is a party! You shouldn't waste time worrying about insignificant things. Have a drink. Someone needs to outdrink Nami."

"Right, I'm on it, **nyu** ," Hachi happily agreed.

* * *

"LUFFY! WHERE ARE YOU!?" Usopp shouted to himself as he ran away from Arlong Park. "If he's not here yet then I've got to grab the Merry and get out of here. Maybe we'll meet halfway and he can come back here for Bonnie and tell her the news. I'm certainly not telling her that Nami killed her boyfriend. There's a huge chance that she'd shoot the messenger!"

* * *

"You mean she's finally collected all the money?" Genzo the Mayor of Cocoyashi Village asked. He wore a maroon uniform and an officer's hat with a pinwheel decorating it. His arms, legs and face were covered in numerous vicious-looking stitched scars.

"That's right," Nojiko confirmed. "She even had some leftover."

"Can we trust Arlong to live up to his end of the agreement?" Genzo questioned.

"Nami seems to think so," Nojiko replied. "She claims that Arlong's said he'd rather die before he'd break an agreement involving money."

"Then we've got to hope that's true," Genzo resolved. "I don't like the idea of abandoning the other villages in this area to their fate but at least we'll be out from under their gaze and Nami will be free."

"The last thing any of us wants it for Cocoyashi to end up like Gosa," Nojiko admitted. "I…" She trailed off when she saw a soaking wet Sabo step into the main road. "Excuse me, Genzo. I've got to take care of something for Nami."

Genzo nodded and Nojiko approached the tall blonde. "Hey you!" Sabo turned to look at her. "Do you normally wear a top hat?"

"Yeah…" Sabo answered. "I kinda lost it escaping Arlong Park."

"Then you're the guy I'm looking for," Nojiko realized. "I've got something of yours."

Sabo's eyes lit up. "You've got Bonnie?"

"Well… I've got a certain rifle if that's what you call it," Nojiko confirmed.

Sabo nodded enthusiastically, "Yeah, Bonnie Anne… my rifle… my partner… my other half…"

"So that's what the 'B.A.' carved into the handle stood for," Nojiko realized. She'd tuned out his rambling as soon as he'd said 'rifle'. "Well, _Bonnie Anne_ is back at my place."

Sabo's face split into a wide grin, "Then that would make _you_ Nami's sister."

"Nojiko," Nojiko introduced herself as she held out her hand.

"Sabo, Quartermaster of the Straw Hat Pirates," Sabo returned as he reached out and shook it.

"Come with me then _Quartermaster_ Sabo," Nojiko playfully instructed. Sabo nodded and followed Nojiko to a small path the led out of Cocoyashi Village. "Also, Nami asked me to pass on a message. She said she's sorry she stole your rifle and that she didn't even know it was on the ship when she took it."

"She said something like that at Arlong Park," Sabo admitted, "And she made a point of saying Bonnie was back at her place. I was pretty pissed at her for kidnapping Bonnie but then she saved my life and helped me escape the fishmen so I guess I can't hold it against her anymore."

"She also wants you to leave once you have your rifle back," Nojiko added.

"Aw, and here I was thinking we were still friends," Sabo lamented.

"For Nami 'friends' is the most painful word there is," Nojiko told him. "That girl's fought alone for eight years. In the village they call her a witch and a traitor for joining Arlong's Crew. She already risked a lot saving you. Please honor her wishes."

"I would but that's not my call," Sabo informed her. "I'm just the vanguard. I'm still waiting for my younger brother to arrive. He's the Captain of our crew."

"Then pass it on to him and leave as soon as he lands," Nojiko advised. "Trust me, I'm being nice about this. You don't want Nami to have to tell him herself. My sister doesn't want anyone to get hurt so she'll do and say anything to forcibly drive people away from her before Arlong can get to them."

"Ah, but you haven't met my brother," Sabo countered. "He's even more stubborn than Nami is. We'll see what happens when he finally gets here."

* * *

"Faster, hippo! Faster!" Luffy cheered. "Take us to Arlong Park!"

The 'hippo' in question was actually a massive sea cow. It had the face, horns, ears and spotted pattern of a cow but the fins and tail of a seal. Luffy didn't seem to care about that and just called it a 'hippo'.

Like the panda shark, Mohmoo was sporting a large lump on his head from his altercation with the Straw Hats. The sea cow had attempted to help itself to some of the Straw Hats' lunch as well as some of their cook. Sanji hadn't taken too kindly to the monsters' attempt to eat him and two kicks later the sea cow was now pulling Sanji's boat towards Arlong Park.

"Hey, I think I see it," Johnny said as he stared ahead of them.

"Oh yeah! There it is!" Luffy exclaimed. "Hurry up, hippo! We're almost there! Faster!"

" **MOOOooooo…"** Mohmoo moaned weakly as he started to veer to the side.

"Uh oh, it looks like Cook-bro's kick took too much out of him!" Yosaku exclaimed.

"Go left hippo, left!" Luffy ordered.

"Well if that was Arlong Park… we just missed it," Sanji dead-panned.

"And there's the shore," Zoro noted. "LOOK OUT! THE HIPPO'S GONNA CRASH!"

 **KROOOOM!**

Mohmoo slammed head-first into the shore. Sanji's boat kept going and flew over Mohmoo and went soaring onto the island.

"WOOHOO! WE'RE FLYING!" Luffy cheered.

"We've been _sent_ flying, you idiot!" Sanji scolded him.

"WE'RE GONNA DIE! WE'RE GONNA DIE!" Johnny and Yosaku chanted as they hugged each other.

"Hold on! We're going down!" Zoro warned everyone.

 **WHAM!**

The boat hit the ground but then kept going and mowed over trees as it continued inland.

Usopp was still running towards Cocoyashi Village when he heard a loud racket as a forest was leveled. "What the heck is that?" Usopp wondered as he made the big mistake of stopping.

 **KREK-KRASH!**

"HEY! USOPP!" Luffy called out from the fast-moving boat when he spotted the familiar sniper.

Usopp turned and stared in wide-eyed horror. For the second time in the span of an hour he had a ship flying right at him from where he _thought_ he was safe on dry land. The sniper did the only thing he could think of and screamed. "WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

 **BOOOOOM!**

The boat slammed into him and carried the terrified sniper onward across dry land.

"STOOOOP THIIIIS THIIIIIING!" Usopp shrieked as he dangled off the front of the boat.

"Hey! Look out for that rock!" Sanji called out.

"MOMMY!" Usopp cried before they crashed right into it.

 **KRASH!**

Usopp suddenly experienced what it was like to be caught between the irresistible force when it met the immovable object. Short description: IT HURT! But the boat had finally stopped.

"YAY! We landed!" Luffy cheered.

"Yeah… but I think we might've just killed Usopp…" Zoro announced.

* * *

"Wait here," Nojiko instructed before she slipped inside and left Sabo waiting outside her house.

Sabo drummed his fingers on his side and casually eyed the modest tangerine grove while he waited.

"Here you go," Nojiko announced as she came back out holding Bonnie Anne.

"BONNIE!" Sabo exclaimed as he darted forward and pulled Bonnie _and Nojiko_ into a tight hug. "I missed you so much."

"Whoa, easy there, big guy," Nojiko remarked, "You're still soaking wet."

Sabo pulled back and fondly stroked his rifle. "This rifle means the world to me. I can't thank you enough for returning her. You're an angel."

"Well I guess that's a step up from being a called a 'tattooed meanie'," Nojiko noted.

"Tattooed…" Sabo repeated before he glanced at the intricate tattoo on Nojiko's arm that ran up to her shoulder and spread across her chest. It was at that point that he also noticed that Nojiko's contact with his wet body had molded her top to her. "Uhh…"

"Hey, eyes up, pal!" Nojiko warned him as she folded her arms across her chest.

"Sorry," Sabo quickly apologized as he averted his eyes. "You've got nice… uh… tattoos. They look really good. I've actually got one myself."

" _You_ have a tattoo?" Nojiko questioned.

"Back when I was fifteen my brother Ace and I got drunk for the first time and decided to get matching tattoos," Sabo explained. "We both got the first letter of our name tattooed on our left shoulder in the same color and font. We agreed that we'd customize them on our own when we set sail as pirates and then we'd show 'em off when we met again on the high seas."

"Well I didn't need to be drunk," Nojiko admitted, "I was thirteen when I got mine and it was a conscious decision that I made… for my sister." Sabo nodded and didn't press further. Nojiko quickly changed the subject to something less personal. "Anyway, I chased some brat with a death wish away from Arlong Park and got called a 'tattooed meanie' for my trouble."

"You're anything but a meanie," Sabo assured her, "You took care of Bonnie for me and I…" Sabo trailed off as he looked down at Bonnie Anne in wide-eyed astonishment. "You _polished_ Bonnie Anne."

"My adoptive mother showed me how to maintain a rifle before she died," Nojiko said, "I kept some of her old cleaning supplies and decided this would be a good time to use them. Plus, I thought you'd be more forgiving of Nami if your rifle looked her best when you got her back." Sabo's insane enthusiasm for his rifle had once again proven to be infectious and Nojiko was now unconsciously referring to the rifle as a 'she'.

"I'm just surprised that Bonnie _let you_ polish her," Sabo admitted. His eyes were still locked on his rifle. "Normally if someone tried that she'd go off and send them flying."

"Oh yeah, that broken safety switch," Nojiko recalled. "Your rifle went off a few times while Nami had her and once when I was taking a look at her. Originally, I thought she had finally run out of bullets but when I opened her to get at the revolving cartridges I found out there was still one left."

"I never needed that switch," Sabo said absently as he continued to stare at Bonnie Anne. "I trust her to fire when it's important. The fact that she didn't go off in your face means she approves of you… or was saving the round for something else."

"Riight," Nojiko replied with a skeptic roll of her eyes. "Well, mom never got around to showing me how to actually shoot a rifle. But I bet Bonnie Anne's a real beauty to see in action."

Sabo finally looked up and raised an eyebrow, "Wanna learn?"

* * *

Genzo and a number of villagers from Cocoyashi Village had gathered on the shore to investigate the large indent that Mohmoo's head had made when the massive sea cow had collided with the shore.

The massive sea cow in question was nowhere to be seen since it had sunk down into the water after being knocked out from the hard impact with the shore.

"What do you think could have caused it?" Dr. Nako, an old man with sunglasses and a bandana, asked.

"Maybe it was those fishmen trying to scare us again," Genzo suggested.

"Hey is that a ship?" someone asked.

The villagers stared off the shore and eventually spotted a large marine vessel making its way towards the island.

"It's the Marines," Genzo realized.

" **We called for them."** The Cocoyashi Villagers turned to see another group of people laden with bags and personal belongings. Among them was a small boy with an orange cap named Chabo who was in the process of being scolded by his mother.

"What were you thinking running off to Arlong Park? You saw what that monster did to our house. What do you think he'd have done if that young woman hadn't stopped you? I expect you to apologize to her the very next time you see her."

"Yes mother…" Chabo groaned.

"You're from Gosa Village, right?" Genzo inquired.

"Yes," an old woman confirmed. "After those monsters destroyed our village we called for the Marines to take us away from here."

"Do you really think that's going to work?" Dr. Nako questioned. "Arlong won't let anyone escape from his control."

The marine ship landed and Captain Nezumi disembarked with his men.

"Are you here to finally take us away from this horrid place?" one of the Gosa Villagers asked.

"I'm here to investigate that incident," Nezumi replied.

"We couldn't afford Arlong's tribute this month and he attacked our village with his enormous pet!"

"Ah, so you broke your agreement with Arlong and he responded appropriately," Nezumi noted.

"Appropriately? He flipped our houses upside down!"

"But the houses are still in one piece, aren't they?" Nezumi retorted. "As expected, your village wasn't destroyed. My report will show that everything was just a huge exaggeration."

"How… you rat! How could you turn your back on us? Are you really going to ignore everything that's happening here?"

"And what _is_ happening here exactly?" Nezumi probed. "From my standpoint all I see are humans being prejudiced against fishmen. You need to be more tolerant."

"TOLERANT? ARLONG'S ENSLAVED THIS ENTIRE ISLAND!"

"Right, and I'm sure that's a gross exaggeration too," Nezumi chided. "You people really need to learn to live with in harmony with the fishmen. Only after you accept them will you be able to live your lives."

"You… you're just as bad as they are!"

"Do you really want to make a Marine Captain angry?" Nezumi barked. "There's a nice, cold prison workhouse on Tequila Wolf if you'd prefer to live there!"

"No…"

"Right then," Nezumi resolved, "I have another more important matter that requires my attention. Which one of you is Genzo?"

"I am," Genzo spoke up.

"You are the Mayor of Cocoyashi Village then?" Nezumi inquired. Genzo nodded. "Very good. I received a disturbing report about one of your citizens. I'm looking for Nami… the thief."

"What business do the Marines have with Nami?" Genzo asked.

"Chichichi! Don't worry about that," Nezumi reassured him with a rat-like chuckle. "Just take me to her."

Genzo nodded and let Nezumi and his dozen men away. The villagers from Cocoyashi and Gosa glared at the Marine Captain as he left. He'd completely ignored their plight in favor of his own business.

"This is our reality…" Dr. Nako stated, "No one escapes Arlong."

* * *

"Arlong, I just received word that Captain Nezumi has arrived in Cocoyashi Village," Kuroobi reported.

"Very good," Arlong replied as he looked over at Nami who was out of earshot. "He'll have all the treasure cleared out in a matter of minutes. We'll let her go now and she'll arrive just in time to see her stolen money stolen."

* * *

A moment later, Nami was walking along the shore towards home. It was finally over. She was almost free!

Along the way, she spotted the large indent Mohmoo had made during the Straw Hats' crash landing.

"If I were a betting girl... and I am... I'd bet that's Luffy's handiwork," Nami noted. "Just dealing with the other two was bad enough. Now it looks like the gang's all here. I've gotta get rid of them before those idiots do something stupid like pick a fight with Arlong."

* * *

"Usopp! Usopp! Are you okay?" Luffy asked as he, Zoro, Sanji, Johnny and Yosaku all crowded around the Master Gunner.

"Uuuggghhh…" Usopp groaned as he finally regained consciousness. "I feel like I was just bit by a…" Usopp opened his eyes and spotted the boat that'd hit him. "YOU JERKS! WHY DIDN'T YOU WATCH WHERE YOU WERE GOING? DRY LAND IS NO PLACE FOR A BOAT!"

"He's got enough energy to shout," Sanji noted, "It looks like he'll make a full recovery."

"So you're here… where are the gun-nut and the thief?" Zoro inquired.

"Sabo and…" Usopp trailed off and shuddered. "LUFFY! THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE! IT'S HORRIBLE!"

"What happened?" Luffy questioned. "What's horrible?"

"We managed to find the Merry but Bonnie was gone," Usopp recounted. "Some fishmen took us to Arlong Park. I had a bad feeling about it but Sabo insisted that it was going to be okay but it _wasn't_ okay! Those fishmen are monsters! And Nami… she's one of them! SHE KILLED SABO!"

"WHAT?" all five newcomers shouted in shock.

"The fishmen attacked us but Nami…" Usopp rubbed his eye, "She stabbed him. She killed him!"

"NO! YOU'RE LYING!" Luffy snapped at him. "NAMI WOULD NEVER KILL SABO! SHE'S ONE OF US!"

"I WISH I _WAS_ LYING!" Usopp yelled back as he broke down in tears. "BUT I SAW IT! THERE WAS NOTHING I COULD DO! Sabo's gone…"

"I had a feeling that girl was more devious than she let on," Zoro admitted.

"Devious?" Sanji repeated. "THERE'S NO WAY THAT BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IS A MURDERER!"

"USOPP, YOU SAW WRONG!" Luffy insisted. "THERE'S NO WAY NAMI KILLED HIM! She wouldn't do that! She's our friend!"

" **Who's your friend, Luffy?"**

Everyone stopped and turned to see the orange haired thief that they were just arguing about.

"NAMI!" Luffy cheered. "There you are! Usopp thinks you killed Sabo. He's lying again, right?"

"Usopp knows what he saw," Nami replied as she gave the sniper a hard stare. "He's telling the truth."

Luffy smile faltered. "What? Where's Sabo?"

"Sleeping with the fishes," Nami answered.

"CUT THE CRAP!" Zoro berated her.

"I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF _YOUR CRAP_!" Sanji snapped at him as he swung his leg at the swordsman's face.

 **KLAK!**

Zoro blocked Sanji's kick with his sheathed sword, "You're pissing me off, Love-Cook!"

"Only a crude brute like you would think so poorly of a lady!" Sanji scolded him.

"I… I don't believe it…" Luffy insisted.

"Then how about some proof?" Nami offered as she tossed a familiar top hat at Luffy.

Luffy froze and stared at his brother's hat in shock. Zoro and Sanji immediately stopped fighting. Usopp let out a whimper. Johnny and Yosaku glared at her.

"You witch!" Johnny growled.

"How could you?" Yosaku demanded.

"Sabo made the mistake of getting in my way," Nami stated. "So I took care of him. I paid him the courtesy of killing him myself instead of letting the fishmen do it. I'd suggest that you guys take your ship and get out of here before the same thing happens to you."

"But Nami…" Luffy weakly protested. "You're our friend… We're… nakama…"

"Friend?" Nami repeated. "I have no friends. I was just using you idiots to get more treasure. Now that I have all the money that I need I don't have to put up with your nonsense anymore. I'm done with you."

 **FWUMP!**

"Luffy?" Zoro called out in concern as the Captain dropped to the ground.

"Nami… killed Sabo…" Luffy mumbled. "I don't… feel so good…"

The news that Nami had killed his brother and no longer considered them friends had been more devastating to Luffy than everything Don Krieg had thrown at him put together.

Nami glared at the others, "Get off my island," she ordered. "I never want to see any of you again."

With that the thief turned and stalked off and left her former friends behind her.

* * *

"Now take a deep breath and pull the trigger," Sabo instructed as he and Nojiko stood near a grave overlooking the sea. Nojiko was pressed back into Sabo and his arms were around her as he held her hands and guided her through the proper way to hold his rifle.

"Which one?" Nojiko asked. "There's two here..."

"The first one," Sabo clarified. "The other one is for her signature Scatterblast ability. You're not ready for that yet."

Nojiko took a deep breath and was assaulted by a strong scent of gun smoke and rifle polish that even Sabo's recent 'bath' hadn't washed off. She curled her finger and pulled Bonnie's trigger.

 **KER-CHOW!**

Nojiko braced for the recoil but the sturdy, well-built pirate behind her kept her rooted in place so she could see the round she'd just shot off strike the water right where she'd aimed.

"Wow…" Nojiko gasped as she prodded her elbow experimentally against a defined set of abs that she never would have noticed through all the layers of old-style clothes. "That was… something…"

"Yeah, Bonnie's the best," Sabo replied as he stepped back from her.

Nojiko turned to face him as he reloaded his rifle and took a moment to look him up and down.

"Nami never told me they made pirates like you," Nojiko remarked.

Sabo grinned as he snapped his rifle closed, "To be fair, I've only been sailing for a little over a week."

" **Nami? Are you here?"**

Nojiko pushed passed Sabo and looked through her tangerine grove to see Genzo and a group of thirteen marines outside her house. "Genzo… and some marines… This doesn't look good…"

Nojiko didn't spare Sabo a second glance as she made her way through the grove to the group of uniformed men. "What's going on here?"

"Ah, Nojiko," Genzo greeted her. He motioned to the rat-like man next to him. "This is Captain Nezumi from Marine Base 16. He's here looking for Nami."

"I'm her sister," Nojiko stated. "What do the Marines want with Nami?"

"My branch of the Marines has received intelligence about your sister's activities," Nezumi explained. "Reports say that she's 'a Pirate Thief'. This is an _interesting_ case. Chichichi! My sources say that she exclusively robs pirates. But a thief is a thief. While she may be stealing from criminals… she is in fact taking money that never belonged to them in the first place. These pirates that your sister stole from actually stole that treasure from innocent law abiding citizens. I'm afraid that it falls upon me to confiscate that money in order to ensure that it's returned to the people that it belongs to."

"You can't be serious," Nojiko dead-panned, "You're going to completely ignore all the crimes that Arlong has committed just so you can confiscate some treasure from a thief? Arlong has killed dozens of people. He's destroyed villages, torn families apart and has enslaved this entire island. What kind of marines are you that you'd ignore all that just to focus on some money?"

"Chichichi!" Nezumi laughed in response, "The way I hear it, this isn't just _some money_ … this is one hundred million berries we're talking about!"

Both Nojiko and Genzo's eyes narrowed.

"How do you know how much money she has?" Genzo demanded.

"Lucky guess?" Nezumi replied. "Chichichi! Look, I'm just trying to do my job."

"Trying to..." Nojiko sputtered. "YOUR JOB IS TO PROTECT PEOPLE FROM PIRATES LIKE ARLONG! You want that money? Then why don't you fight for _actual justice_ and get rid of those fishmen? If you free this island… you can _have_ the hundred million berries!"

"Ah-ha!" Nezumi exclaimed, "So you _do_ know about your sister's stolen treasure! I order you to turn it over to us. Otherwise I'll have to arrest you for obstruction of justice and hold you in custody while my men search for the treasure."

"You barely even heard a word I said!" Nojiko realized, "Now you're threatening to arrest _me_ without even bothering to investigate those fishmen?"

"I'm already in the middle of an investigation," Nezumi chided her, "And I won't let you impede it. Men, search the place."

"YOU DON'T HAVE PERMISSION TO ENTER MY HOUSE!" Nojiko shouted.

"Girl, we're the Government!" Nezumi reminded her, "We don't need your permission to do anything! You know what, men? Forget the house! There's no way a hundred million berries would fit in that run-down looking shack. Search the grove instead. Maybe it's buried there."

"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT TOUCHING MY TANGERINES!" Nojiko yelled.

"That girl is going against the Marines," Nezumi pointed out. "Men, take her out!"

Six of Nezumi's corrupt marines raised their rifles and aimed at Nojiko.

"Wait… what're you doing?" Genzo protested.

"FIRE!" Nezumi commanded.

A blue blur rushed passed Nojiko, **"SCATTER BLAST!"**

 **KER-CHOW!**

The six marines were blasted backwards before they got a chance to open fire. The six men hit the ground and didn't get up.

"I'm sorry but I couldn't listen to much more of that without being sick," Sabo apologized.

"No… no problem," Nojiko said as she stared in surprise at the pirate who'd just saved her. He'd gone from a goofy rifle fanatic to a lethal warrior in an instant. He'd just _killed_ a half a dozen marines to save her.

"You! What do you think you're doing!?" Nezumi demanded. "I'm a Captain of the Marines!"

"Like I give a shit," Sabo retorted. "I became a pirate so I'd be free to fight crooked marines like you."

"KILL THAT PIRATE!" Nezumi shrieked. The remaining marines raised their rifles.

" **WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?"**

Everyone stopped and turned to stare at Nami as she ran over.

"Hey Nami!" Sabo greeted her. "These corrupt marines are trying to steal your money. It fell upon me as the law-abiding pirate to fight for justice and stop them." Sabo grimaced and turned to Nojiko. "That sounded wrong to you too, right?" Nojiko nodded. "These are strange times we're living in."

"Is that right?" Nami asked as she turned to Nezumi. "Are you trying to steal from me?"

"I'm not stealing anything," Nezumi insisted. "I received intelligence that you're a thief that robs from pirates so I'm here to confiscate that money and return it to the people that it rightfully belongs to."

"Do you even have a warrant to do that?" Sabo inquired.

"I don't need a—" Nezumi protested.

"Sure you do," Sabo cut him off. "The only thing that separates us is the law. You can't produce the proper paperwork to prove you're here upholding the law then that makes you no better than me."

"I'd definitely prefer a cute pirate over a corrupt marine," Nojiko chimed in. She was the only one in a position to see Sabo discretely reloading his rifle behind his back.

"Both of you stay out of this!" Nami berated them before she turned back to Nezumi. "Your information was only half-right. I'm not just a thief. I'm also a member of the Arlong Pirates. Do you really think Arlong will let you get away with robbing a valued member of his crew?"

"Arlong?" Nezumi repeated with a crooked smile. "Chichichi! I doubt he'll mind at all." Nezumi addressed his men. "Dig up this grove until you find the treasure. Shoot anyone that tries to stop you."

"I'M NOT GIVING YOU GUYS ONE BERRI OF MY MONEY!" Nami snapped, "THAT MONEY IS TO…"

"THAT MONEY IS TO SAVE COCOYASHI VILLAGE!" Genzo shouted.

"Genzo…" Nami gasped in shock.

"Ooh! Now I remember!" Sabo exclaimed, "She said something about collecting money to buy a village after we beat Buggy the Clown." Sabo leaned towards Nojiko, "I take it she didn't know that he knew." Nojiko nodded.

"We _all_ knew Nami," Genzo confessed. "We couldn't believe that you'd join Arlong just for money. Not after what he did to Bellemere. So we pressed Nojiko."

"Sorry Nami," Nojiko apologized. "I had the entire village twisting my arm."

"We didn't want you to know that we were all depending on you," Genzo admitted, "We didn't want you to think that you couldn't run away if things got too hard."

"What's this?" Nezumi questioned, "Everyone in this village knew that you were stealing? Are you saying that everyone here is a thief?"

"THEY'RE SAYING WE CAN'T DEPEND ON YOU PEOPLE!" Nojiko snapped at him. "We've had to fend for ourselves these last eight years while you did nothing! SO IF YOU'RE NOT HERE TO GET RID OF THE FISHMEN THEN GET THE HELL OUT!"

"I've heard enough out of you!" Nezumi growled, "GET THEM OUT OF THE WAY!"

" **SCATTER BLAST!"**

 **KER-CHOW!**

Nezumi's six remaining men dropped to the ground. The dirty marine gaped in shock as he now found himself alone with four people that seemed rather displeased with his actions.

"You know I'm starting to wonder how deep this rat's corruption actually goes," Sabo remarked. "I know for a fact that there are marines in this ocean that _could_ beat these fishmen. We ran away from one of them when we left the Gecko Islands."

"That dog-guy?" Nami questioned.

"Yes... him..." Sabo as he suppressed a shiver. "Anyway, I'm willing to bet that this crooked rat has been taking bribes all this time to keep Arlong's actions quiet."

Genzo glared at Nezumi, "YOU RAT-BASTARD! _YOU'RE_ THE REASON ARLONG'S BEEN GETTING AWAY WITH HIS CRIMES ALL THESE YEARS! YOU'RE IN HIS POCKET!"

"In his pocket…" Nami mused as she came to a horrifying conclusion, "DID ARLONG SEND YOU HERE?"

"Look at the time!" Nezumi claimed, "I must be off!" The rat turned tail and ran.

"I've got him," Sabo assured them as he loaded another batch of bullets into his rifle and aimed down the path at the fleeing Nezumi. "PARTING SHOT!"

 **KER-CHOW!**

Nezumi dropped to the ground and clutched his shoulder, "AUUGGHH!"

"That didn't kill him," Genzo observed, "You left him alive."

"Of course," Sabo replied as he headed after Nezumi. "Now we can get some answers."

The scarred Mayor's face turned feral as he followed Sabo down the path.

Nojiko fell into step beside Nami. "Nami… you didn't tell me your pirate friend was a sexy badass!"

"Sexy?" Nami repeated. "The guy's _insane_! Did he tell you about his rifle?"

"You mean Bonnie Anne?" Nojiko asked, "Sure. He even showed me how to fire her."

"Oh dear God… he's corrupted my sister," Nami grumbled, "SABO! YOU BASTARD!"

 **KER-CHOW!**

"AUUUUGGHH!" The two sisters looked ahead to see Nezumi clutching at his leg and raced over. "MMMFFFMMFF!" They arrived in time to see Sabo clamp his hand over Nezumi's mouth to muffle the marine's screams.

"That was your knee," Sabo stated. "I doubt you'll ever be able to walk on it again. Start talking… or I'm gonna see how many places I can shoot you without killing you." He removed his hand. "Who sent you?"

"AARRGGG! IT WAS ARLONG!" Nezumi wailed. "ARLONG SENT ME! HE'S BEEN PAYING ME OFF FOR YEARS TO KEEP THINGS QUIET! HE DOESN'T WANT JINBE TO FIND OUT WHAT HE'S DOING HERE!"

Nami's hands clenched as she turned and ran off.

Sabo shook his head as he glared down at Nezumi. "You disgust me. You had a job to do and you betrayed all these people by selling out for that fish."

"You… you'll pay for this!" Nezumi hissed. "I'll place a bounty on your head! A big one! You'll regret the day you crossed me, pirate!"

"Oh yeah? Well, there's just one problem with that, chief," Sabo said. "You have to be _alive_ to place that hit."

* * *

 **KER-CHOW!**

Nami heard a distant gunshot ring out as she sprinted towards Arlong Park.

" _I don't care how long it takes you. I'll honor our agreement. I'm the type of fishman that would rather die than break an agreement involving money."_

"AAARRRLOOOONG!" Nami screamed as she ran up to Arlong Park and burst through the doors.

"My precious navigator, what could you be so angry about?" Arlong inquired.

"YOU SENT THOSE MARINES TO STEAL MY MONEY!" Nami shouted at him.

"I'm sorry your stolen money got stolen," Arlong retorted, "But if you can't come up with the agreed upon amount then I can't sell you Cocoyashi Village."

"THEY _DIDN'T_ STEAL IT!" Nami yelled at him, "YOUR PET RAT AND HIS MEN ARE ALL DEAD!"

"What?" Arlong's eyes widened in surprise and the fishmen gaped in shock.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THAT CRAP ABOUT HOW YOU'D _DIE_ BEFORE YOU BROKE AN AGREEMENT INVOLVING MONEY?"

Arlong frowned, "This is more serious than I thought. It looks like you've gained a taste for blood after killing that pirate. Now you've killed a Marine Officer. That's not something that can just be swept under the carpet. The Marines aren't going to like this. You killed one of their own. That's the kind of offense that the Marines will place a bounty on your head for."

"You… you never intended to honor our agreement…" Nami realized.

"I'm trying to look out for you, girl," Arlong assured her, "I can protect you from the Marines. But you're going to have to stay with my crew for another few years until the heat dies down. I'm afraid you're not going to be able to leave this island without the risk of being arrested."

"No way!" Nami refused. "I left my home and worked for you because of your promise… but you betrayed me. You lied to me! I'll never draw another map for you again! I'm done with you!"

"Is that right?" Arlong growled. "Then that means all the blood spilled in Cocoyashi Village will be on your hands. That sister of yours has been getting rowdy lately. We've been giving her leeway because you're a member of my crew. But if you're no longer one of us… that protection ends."

"You… you bastard! YOU FOUL, EVIL, HEARTLESS SNAKE! YOU KILLED MY MOTHER IN FRONT OF ME AND NOW YOU'RE TARGETING MY SISTER!?"

"I heard word that someone in Cocoyashi Village received a weapon," Arlong calmly commented, "I owe that village of yours a personal visit. If you agree to rejoin my crew and be my navigator again I'll forget all about it. But if you refuse… if you try to run away… What I did to Gosa will pale in comparison to what happens to Cocoyashi and all the people in it. You've got one hour to rethink your loyalties girl. Once that's up… then we attack."

"Damn you… DAMN YOU ARLONG!" Nami spat as she turned and ran out, "YOU MONSTER!"

"That was cruel, **nyu** ," Hachi remarked. "Nami's never gonna forgive you for that."

"I don't need her to forgive me," Arlong insisted. "I just need her to keep drawing maps. The girl is the key to my Arlong Empire. I'll keep her no matter what I have to do. If I have to break a promise… so be it. If I have to demolish a village to make a statement... so be it. If I have to keep her sister as a hostage… so be it. There's no force in this world that will take that girl from me."

* * *

"You should have let me kill him," Genzo remarked as he, Sabo and Nojiko stood over Nezumi. "I've got a new sword I'm looking to break in."

"I sail under the black flag so that means I'm already an outlaw," Sabo replied, "I wouldn't want you to have to dirty your hands or reputation offing this scumbag. Plus, guns are more efficient killing instruments than swords."

"I guess this means Arlong broke their agreement," Nojiko reasoned, "Nami's going to be furious."

Sabo hefted Bonnie Anne over his shoulder and turned to face Nojiko. "If you could have any wish what would it be?"

"What? Be serious."

"Just… humor me, alright?" Sabo requested. "If I was a magic djinn and could grant you any wish… what would it be?"

"Obviously I'd wish for Arlong and his crew to be gone," Nojiko answered, "That way my sister and my home would be free from that monster."

Sabo nodded. "That's what I thought." He turned to leave. "Coming right up."

"Wait… what?"

"You gave me back Bonnie Anne so I'm in a generous mood," Sabo called over his shoulder.

"A dozen crooked marines are one thing! You can't fight the fishmen!" Nojiko protested, "You'd need an army to even stand a chance against Arlong!"

"Then I guess I'd better go find my troops," Sabo decided as he walked off towards the dock.

" **Genzo! What's going on?"** Genzo and Nojiko turned to see Dr. Nako and a crowd of other villagers. "We heard gunshots." The villagers spotted Nezumi. "What happened to him?"

"Justice," Genzo answered. "This treacherous rat was sent by Arlong to confiscate Nami's treasure."

"You mean the treasure she was collecting for Arlong? It's gone?"

"No. A young pirate took care of things for us," Genzo explained. "But that doesn't change the fact that Arlong betrayed Nami and broke their agreement." Genzo kicked Nezumi's corpse, "This bastard is the reason why no one ever came to help us. He's been in Arlong's pocket for years and was feeding the Marines false reports. Because of him we're on our own against the fishmen. I've had it with that fish!"

"The Marines aren't going to help us," Nojiko resolved, "So now we have to help ourselves."

"YEAH!" the villagers cheered.

Genzo turned to Nojiko, "We might not stand much of a chance… but we've found our army."

* * *

"Hmmm…" Sabo said as he stared at the large indent in the shore, "This looks like Luffy's handiwork." Sabo turned and with Bonnie Anne still slung over his shoulder he made his way inland.

It wasn't long before he spotted the toppled trees, "Yup, definitely Luffy's handiwork."

* * *

"Hey…" Sanji called out to Zoo and the swordsman sat with Usopp, Johnny and Yosaku sat near Luffy who had fallen into a fitful sleep. "Do you think Nami actually killed Sabo?"

" **She killed Sabo? Well that's news to me."**

Everyone turned to see the blonde Quartermaster step into the clearing.

"Sabo…" Usopp blurted out. "YOU'RE ALIVE!"

"Last time I checked," Sabo replied. He made a show of pressing his hand against his chest to check for a heartbeat. "Yup. Still alive."

"And… you found Bonnie," Usopp observed.

"Where do you think I've been all this time?" Sabo replied.

"LYING DEAD ON THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN!" Usopp snapped.

"You know that dead bodies float, right?" Sabo asked.

Usopp blinked. "They do?"

Sabo made his way over to Luffy. "What's with him?"

"Nami came by and insisted that she killed you," Zoro stated, "She dropped off your hat to prove it. Luffy… didn't take it well… he's been sleeping ever since."

"Oh, that was nice of her," Sabo said as he scooped up his lost top hat and put it back on. He looked down at his sleeping brother. "I guess I should wake him up." Sabo pointed Bonnie Anne at the ground next to Luffy.

 **KER-CHOW!**

"WAH! BONNIE!" Luffy yelped as he sat up with a start.

"Yo!" Sabo greeted him.

"SABO!" Luffy exclaimed. "Usopp said you were dead!"

"I got better," Sabo dead-panned.

"But this means that Nami didn't kill you," Luffy realized, "She's still our friend!"

"Yeah," Sabo confirmed, "she's been working with Arlong because he said he'd let her buy village from him if she collected a hundred million berries. But he betrayed her and broke the deal."

"Sounds like a good reason to go kick his ass," Luffy decided as he stood up and pounded his fists together. "I think I'll go for a walk."

"Nami's village is off that way," Sabo informed him, "There's a chance you could see her there."

Luffy nodded and headed off in the indicated direction.

Usopp seemed to have finally recovered, "But… she stabbed you! I saw it! Her hands were covered in your blood."

"That was _her_ blood," Sabo explained, "Those fishmen weren't going to let me leave Arlong Park alive… so she stabbed the back of her hand to make it look like she'd killed me. Nami saved my life."

"I KNEW IT!" Sanji exclaimed, "I KNEW THAT BEAUTIFUL WOMAN COULDN'T BE ANYTHING LESS THAN AN ANGEL!"

"We were wrong about her…" Johnny realized.

"We've got to make amends for what we said," Yosaku added.

The two bounty hunters turned and raced towards Arlong Park, "PREPARE YOURSELVES, FISHMEN!"

Sabo addressed the rest of the Straw Hats, "So… long story short, Arlong's blackmailing Nami into working for him by holding her village hostage. She'll never be one of us unless we can free her from Arlong. If Luffy's up for it… I say we head over to Arlong Park and teach those fish-bastards that just because they've got gills doesn't mean they're more evolved and better than everyone else. Plus, I kind of promised a pretty girl that I'd take care of the fishmen so her sister would be free."

Sanji grinned, "I knew there was a reason I liked you. I'm with you."

"I don't take orders from you," Zoro insisted. "But if that's what the Captain wants to do… I'm in."

"Nami saved your life…" Usopp recounted, "I guess we've gotta pay her back by saving her."

 **KER-CHOW!**

Sabo smiled and patted his rifle. "I guess that means it's unanimous. Follow me."

The four Straw Hats turned and headed for Cocoyashi.

* * *

Nami was greeted by an angry mob when she returned to Cocoyashi Village. Genzo had retrieved his sword and was leading the group. Nojiko had found a hammer and the other villagers were wielding makeshift weapons.

"So it's true then," Genzo noted, "Arlong won't honor your agreement."

"No… he doesn't want me to leave…" Nami confessed. Her neighbors who had been viewing her with nothing but scorn over the last eight years now showed open concern. Genzo was telling the truth. _Everyone_ knew about her deal with Arlong and now they all knew that he'd broken it.

"That bastard! He betrayed our Nami!"

"Look… nobody do anything hasty," Nami advised. "I'll… I'll figure something out. Attacking Arlong is the last thing any of you should be thinking of doing."

"So you're just going to keep working for him then?" Nojiko asked.

"I don't have a choice," Nami told her.

"Sure you do," Nojiko replied, "You can leave."

Nami shook her head. "I can't abandon you. Arlong wouldn't hesitate to kill everyone here if he thought it would keep me working for him. Nojiko… where'd Sabo go?"

"He left," Nojiko answered.

"Go after him," Nami instructed, "Ask him and the others to take you along with them as a favor to me. Arlong… he… I can't lose you too!"

"Do you know what Sabo asked me before he left?" Nojiko asked. "He asked me what I'd wish for if I had a magic djinn. I didn't even have to think about it. I want Arlong and his crew gone so that my home and _you_ could be free. But wishes and magic are for kids. Sitting and waiting while Arlong reigns over this island isn't accomplishing anything. If I want something good to happen… I've got to make it happen. That's why I've got to fight. So in the meantime… why don't you get on that boat and leave with your friends. That way even if we don't win… part of my wish will still come true."

"You _won't_ win," Nami insisted. "I can't let you do this. I won't let you throw your lives away." She pulled out her knife. "You'll have to get through me to get to him."

"Nami… we've made our decision," Genzo said as he stepped passed Nojiko and grabbed Nami's blade with his bare hand. "You've fought bravely on our behalf for the last eight years. But we won't allow ourselves to be your burden anymore. We won't condemn you to work for that murderous monster any longer." Genzo pulled Nami's knife away from her and tossed it aside. "If this is our end… so be it. We've accepted that. GET OUT OF THE WAY NAMI!"

Nami staggered backwards in shock and Genzo led the mob passed her.

"NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS… THIS'LL BE OUR LAST DAY SUFFERING UNDER ARLONG'S RULE!"

Nami snagged her sister's wrist as she went passed. "Nojiko… please… don't go…"

Nojiko turned and used Nami's hold on her to pull her sister into a long hug.

* * *

A familiar pirate with a Straw Hat watched as the mob marched passed him just outside the village.

"Hey, that guy had a pinwheel on his hat!" Luffy exclaimed, "That's so cool!"

* * *

Nojiko finally released Nami and gave her a sad smile. "I love you, Nami."

" _Nojiko… Nami… love you…"_

 _ **BANG!**_

Nojiko had slipped away while Nami was caught up in the memory. Nami felt her eyes burning. She hadn't let anyone see her cry since her mother died. But this was too much. She didn't hold any delusions about how this battle would go. It would be a one-sided slaughter if the Cocoyashi Villagers were lucky and a bloodbath if they weren't. Arlong couldn't be killed. She'd learned that much over the years.

The marines she'd tipped off her first time off the island? They hadn't even made it to shore. Arlong sunk their ship and they all drowned in a whirlpool.

The poison she'd put in his drink? He drank it down then held out his mug to her and asked for more.

The bounty hunters she'd hired? They'd at least made it to shore. But even trained assassins were no match for Arlong's fishman power. He'd toyed with them before killing them then left their heads on the wall of Arlong Park for a week. Nami's window out of the chart room 'conveniently' had the perfect view.

If marines, poison and bounty hunters didn't work what chance did a mob of civilians weilding pots and pans have? This was all too much. Arlong had betrayed her and now everyone that she had fought for over the last eight years was marching to their deaths.

"Ar…long…" Nami seethed as she picked up her knife. That evil fish had taken everything from her. She wouldn't bare his mark a second longer. "ARLONG!" Nami drove her knife into the Arlong tattoo on her shoulder.

 **CHUNK!**

"ARLONG!" She screamed out in pain. Not from the knife wound but from loss. She pulled the knife out and jammed it in again.

 **CHUNK!**

"ARLONG!" She was going to be rid of his branding mark even if she had to cut it off!

 **WHAP!**

Someone caught Nami's wrist and held it in place.

Nami looked back over her shoulder and saw Luffy standing there with a frown on his face.

"What're you still doing here?" Nami asked as she pulled her hand away. "You have no idea what's happening on this island!"

"You're right," he agreed. "I don't know anything."

"I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE!"

"Yeah, you did."

Nami scraped her hand through the dirt and threw it back at him. She was so emotionally drained that it was all she could do at the moment.

 **Skish!**

"GET OUT!"

 **Skish!**

"LEAVE!"

 **Skish!**

Nami trailed off held her hand over her eyes as the dam finally broke and she cried. She turned to look back at him with tears running down her cheeks.

"Luffy… help me…"

"…" Luffy took his hat off and placed it on her head.

" _That hat sure means a lot to you," Nami noted after she'd fixed the damage Buggy had done to it._

" _Sure does," Luffy agreed, "A great pirate gave this to me after he saved my life. He told me to give it back to him when I become a great pirate too. That's when I vowed to become King of the Pirates."_

Luffy stepped passed Nami and let out a loud shout, "OF COURSE I'LL HELP YOU!"

"Luffy…" Nami whimpered as she grabbed the rim of his hat.

Luffy walked over to the other four Straw Hats who had been waiting for him at the edge of town.

"Let's go."

"RIGHT!" Sabo, Zoro, Usopp and Sanji all chorused.

Nami watched in shock as her five friends marched off towards Arlong Park.

* * *

"Hey you! What're you doing?" Genzo called out when the Cocoyashi Mob found a badly beaten Johnny and Yosaku sitting in front of the door to Arlong Park blocking their entry. "Did the fishmen beat you?"

"We came here to make amends for misjudging Nami-sis," Johnny answered. "We almost got him… but we still lost."

"Get you of the way!" Genzo ordered. "We have business with the fishmen."

"I'm sorry… we can't let you through," Yosaku apologized. "We're waiting for 'those guys' to show up."

"Those guys?" Genzo repeated.

"Bet your life on it," Johnny assured them. "'Those guys' will definitely come."

 _Overtaken_ started to play somewhere in the background.

"THERE!" Yosaku exclaimed as he and Johnny stood back up.

The Cocoyashi Mob turned to see five pirates approaching.

Luffy stood in the middle of the group. His hat was gone and his smile had been replaced by a frown of grim determination. He didn't know what was happening here and he didn't care. Arlong had made Nami cry. That was all the reason he needed to kick the fish's ass.

At Luffy's sides were Sabo and Zoro. Sabo stood a full head taller than his shorter brother and looked even taller with his top hat on. Bonnie Anne was slung across his shoulder and there was an almost 'eager' smile on his face. It was time show the uppity elitist fish what humans could really do.

Zoro was on Luffy's other side. His lone sword _Wado Ichimonji_ was on his shoulder. His mummy bandages could still be seen through the opened green coat that Yosaku had loaned him. But his injuries didn't matter. The Captain had ordered them to fight so he was going to give it everything he had.

Usopp was on Zoro's other side. His sniper goggles were down over his eyes. Nami was their friend and they were going to save her from the monsters. That's what Brave Warriors of the Sea did. Usopp wasn't scared of the fishmen anymore. Not while his Nakama were beside him.

Finally, Sanji was on Sabo's other side. The newest Straw Hat Pirate's determined glare showed that he was just as invested as the others. These fishmen had hurt a lady. Not just any lady but that beautiful swan Nami. His Nami-swan. It was on his honor as a gentleman to beat the ever-loving shit out of those fish.

"Them?" Nojiko blurted out as she recognized the familiar rifle-wielding blonde.

"Those guys?" Genzo asked. "What about them?"

"If those guys can't stand up to the fishmen… then there's no hope," Johnny proclaimed. "Not just for this island but for the entire East Blue.

"Remember the faces of these five," Yosaku advised them "They've come to change the future and save the world."

The five pirates reached the crowd.

"Move," Luffy ordered.

The crowd parted and the Straw Hats made their way through.

Sabo grinned at Nojiko as he went passed, "I brought my army." He gave her a quick wink then turned to Luffy as they stepped up to the door. "So... should we knock or just let ourselves in?"

"I'll knock," Luffy volunteered. He drew his arm back and punched the huge metal double door with all his strength.

 **BANG!**

The metal door warped and bent from the impact of Luffy's fist. He pulled his hand away and left a large indent behind.

 **BANG!**

Luffy pounded the door again and it started to buckle under the power of his punches.

 **BOOOM!**

The third punch blasted the doors off their hinges and sent them flying inside.

Luffy didn't hesitate and walked right in. He stared at the fishmen then took a deep breath and shouted.

"WHICH ONE OF YOU IS ARLONG?"

* * *

Forget all the kickass fights. The march to Arlong Park is my favorite scene from the East Blue Saga. I loved being able to include my Sabo in it.

The action starts next chapter!

Silver signing off


	18. Officers

_**BROTHER ON BOARD**_

Johnny Spectre - Sabo grew up stick fighting with his pipe so there are times that he can wield Bonnie like a staff in mele combat. His 'Knockback' attack is a prime example of that as is the fight he had against Zoro when he was hypnotized during the Kuro Arc.

Bluejay Blaze - You must spend a fortune on repairing doors.

The Patient One - Thanks! Hope this one's worth the wait.

PsychopathOnADiet - Nami had Sabo's top hat to serve as 'proof'. I think the majority of the emotional impact came from the fact that Nami no longer considered herself his friend which was why Luffy had the same 'sleepy' reaction in both versions.

Lunapok - Yes... Bonnie seems to approve of Nojiko. But to what end? You'll find out next chapter.

lostdog200 - Glad you liked my version of it. I was grinning like a maniac just picturing it in my head. My brother literally turned to me and said "Stop smiling like that. It's creepy." Read you next week! Congratulations on writing your first story! Now the trick is going to be sticking with it.

Narya Anima - Phew, that's a relief. But Sabo doesn't really need Bonnie to be human in order to accept her. I think he'll be fine with a strange fox/rifle hybrid which would really just make the relationship even weirder. I'm glad you liked Sabo and Nojiko together. There's more of that next chapter.

pipi96 - Yeah... Nami probably should have warned her sister that Sabo was nuts. But she was more concerned with completing her eight year goal so it's understandable that she'd forget. But she's still going to regret it for a very long time. Nojiko's staying in Cocoyashi. I really can't think of a use for her on the crew.

RasEnshur1KEn - I hated how Nezumi got away with everything. HE was the reason everyone suffered under Arlong's Rule. There are plenty of marines that could have beaten Arlong. Heck, Jinbe would have come and given Arlong a fishman beatdown himself if he had known what Arlong was doing. But because Nezumi was taking bribes and keeping everything quiet everyone was left to suffer. So I had Sabo take justice into his own hands.

Hiezen - Nojiko actually wasn't the woman I was hinting towards. That woman is still out there somewhere. However, I had Nojiko inherit some gun knowledge from Bellemere and things between her and Sabo just clicked. But it's not serious. I doubt Sabo even notices. This is really just me messing around with the AcexNojiko fanon ship cliche by making Luffy's _other_ older brother hit it off with Nami's older sister.

anomynous - Don't apologize for contributing an idea. I like having different suggestions offered so I can think about which would work best. Yours was a Kitsune Mythical Zoan Fruit as opposed to a regular Fox Zoan. Interesting. But it's hard enough just to find a generic common Devil Fruit that you're specifically looking for. A Mythical Zoan Fruit would be SUPER, MEGA, ULTRA rare to find. That's something only the World Government would really have the resources for.

strike879 - I don't think there are male and female models of Zoan Devil Fruit. Chopper's powers would still effect him the same way whether he was a stag or a doe. But _is that_ how Devil Fruits are fed to weapons? Do they get liquefied and then poured on/in the weapon? I'm still confused about that process to be honest. But I'm trying to look into it because of all the suggestions I've received.

Rob - Thanks and thanks. (One for each review) Glad you like it so far. Nojiko is staying on her island so she won't be officially joining Team SaBonnie or the Straw Hats. She's a tangerine farmer and a supporting character. She doesn't have a huge ambition or any areas that she is exceptionally skilled at that would make her a good fit for the Straw Hat Crew. I'm not going to have her join just to be Sabo's human girlfriend. But during her time in this story, Nojiko will give everyone a glance 'down the rabbit hole' for a closer look at the madness that is Sabo and Bonnie's relationship. This will also reveal one of the decisions I made about the 'Bonnie' character. But that's next chapter. This one's basically all action.

Syluk - Glad you like Sabo and Nojiko together. There'll be more of them in the next chapter. Also, I'm happy that someone got/mentioned the Python reference. Keep an eye out for another one in this chapter.

PipeDream - She was and she even 'agreed' to help out. But let's just say that to the casual observer it looked like four pirates.

 **A/N:** Okay everybody, this chapter's another long one. I was experimenting a bit with the pacing and during this chapter you're going to be jumping around between four different fights that are all going on at the same time. I think it flows from one fight to the other okay but please take the time to review and let me know if you think the jumping between fights is too choppy.

* * *

 **Officers-**

"WHICH ONE OF YOU IS ARLONG?"

"That would be me," Arlong answered from his throne. "And who are you supposed to be?"

"I'm Luffy," Luffy stated as he made his way towards Arlong.

"I see. And what's a Luffy?" Arlong inquired.

"A pirate," Luffy replied.

"Hold it right there, short-stuff!" two big fishmen protested as they stepped in Luffy's path and blocked his way to Arlong. "You can't talk to the boss until we say so."

Luffy didn't even bother responding. He reached up, grabbed the heads of the two fishmen and violently slammed them together.

 **KRACK!**

The two fishmen dropped to the ground. Luffy stepped over them as he continued towards Arlong.

Arlong's eyes narrowed as the pirate approached, "So… what business do you have with me, pirate?"

Luffy's response was a hard punch to the face.

 **POW!**

Arlong went flying out of his chair and slammed into the far wall of Arlong Park.

"YOU MADE OUR NAVIGATOR CRY!" Luffy yelled at Arlong. "NOW I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!"

"YOU LITTLE BASTARD!" a fishman snapped. "HOW DARE YOU ATTACK ARLONG?"

No less than a dozen fishmen charged at Luffy but he wasn't intimidated.

" **SCATTER BLAST!"**

 **KER-CHOW!**

" **BACK OFF! FISH-BASTARDS!"**

 **THWAK-WAK-WAK!**

The dozen fishmen went flying and revealed Sanji standing next to Luffy.

"You just had to charge right in?" Sanji complained.

"Don't worry," Luffy reassured him, "I won't lose to these guys."

"Who's worried?" Sanji replied, "If you run in and beat them all there'll be none left for the rest of us."

"Yeah Luffy," Sabo added as he came up from behind with Zoro and Usopp while he casually reloaded his rifle. "I've been _dying_ for this rematch. Don't be selfish."

"It's fine with me if you don't share, Luffy!" Usopp assured him.

"How considerate of you, Usopp," Zoro remarked.

"Whoa! Did you see that?" Dr. Nako exclaimed on the outside. "That guy just sent Arlong flying!"

"Who are these guys?" Genzo wondered.

"Those five are the heroes of the East Blue," Johnny stated.

"They're our best chance at beating the fishmen," Yosaku added.

"Top Hat, you're still alive," Choo noted as surveyed the five pirates.

"I was only taking a quick swim," Sabo replied, "But I can't say the same about your rat-faced marine and his men."

"You… you killed Nezumi?" Kuroobi sputtered.

"Killed who?" Usopp repeated.

"Sure, that's what you get for going back on a deal," Sabo stated.

"Hmph," Kuroobi grunted, "This means Nami has betrayed us."

"It seems like there's a lot of that going on around here," Sanji retorted.

"Hey… that sash!" Hachi pointed out, "I know you! You're Roronoa Zoro… the Pirate Hunter."

"I am," Zoro confirmed.

"So Nami's sent yet another batch of assassins after us," Kuroobi realized. "Pitiful."

"YOU BASTARD!" Arlong yelled as he started to get back up.

"Arlong calm down," Kuroobi instructed, "These human pests are nothing to get worked up about."

"Yeah, you don't need to get your hands dirty!" Hachi assured him. "We'll pull out the big guns right away and show these humans who they're messing with!" The octopus fishman turned to the water way a blew a loud trill through his horn-shaped mouth.

 **NYU! NYYYUUUUU!**

"COME FORTH, MY GREAT WARRIOR!"

 **SHOOOOM!**

A dark silhouette appeared in the waterway and the water rose up as a large form came to the surface.

"OH NO! NOT THAT!" one of the Cocoyashi Villagers shouted.

"IT'S THE MONSTER THEY USED TO DESTROY GOSA!" another shrieked.

The water fell away to reveal Mohmoo.

"WAAAH! MONSTER!" Usopp screamed.

"HOLY COW!" Sabo exclaimed. "That's huge!"

"Aw, that's just the hippo," Luffy reassured them.

"We ran into that thing on the way here," Zoro informed them "It's not a big deal."

"Looks like he works for these guys," Sanji noted.

Mohmoo took one look at the Monster Trio then promptly turned and started to swim away.

Hachi gaped after the sea cow in shock, "MOHMOO! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?"

" **Running away Mohmoo?"** Mohmoo froze at the sound of Arlong's voice. **"If you really want to leave… I suppose I won't stop you."**

Whatever control Arlong had over Mohmoo was effective. **"MOOOOOOOO!"** The sea cow spun and charged at the five Straw Hats.

"AAAIIIYYYEEE!" Usopp shrieked in terror as the monster cow barreled towards them.

"I've got this," Luffy announced before he drove his feet down into the stone ground.

 **Tomp-Tomp!**

Luffy's mind flashed back to Genzo's pinwheel as he twisted around at the waist. "I just came up with a new attack!"

"Let's follow Mohmoo's lead!" a fishman called out, "Get them!" A crowd of fishmen charged at the Straw Hats.

"I've got them too!" Luffy called out.

"Well now you're just being greedy," Sabo complained.

" **MOOOOOOO!"** Mohmoo roared as he closed in on Luffy. But Luffy quickly reached out and caught the cow by the horns. Mohmoo couldn't budge as he suddenly found himself pressing into an unyielding wall known as Monkey D. Luffy. "Moooo?"

"GUUUUM… GUUUUUM… PINWHEEEEEEL!"

 **SHOOOM!**

Luffy's rubber body started to unwind and he hauled the huge cow up out of the water and swung it around him.

"DOWN!" Sabo called out as he and the other three Straw Hats dropped.

 **KA-BOOOOSH!**

Luffy used Mohmoo as a giant club and sent the charging fishmen flying back the way they came as he swung Mohmoo over his head and threw the massive cow straight over the gate and out of Arlong Park.

"GET THAT WEAK CRAP OUTTA HERE!" Luffy bellowed.

 **SPLASH!**

Mohmoo crashed down into the water outside Arlong Park then once again sank down into the water.

"Wow… he's strong!" Nojiko remarked.

"I don't believe it!" Dr. Nako exclaimed, "That little guy just _threw_ that huge monster!"

"Who the heck are these pirates?" Genzo wondered.

"Devil Fruit Powers…" Arlong growled to himself as he glared at Luffy. "That's all it is."

"ENOUGH WITH THE SMALL FRIES!" Luffy hollered at Arlong, "I CAME HERE TO KICK _YOUR_ ASS!"

"Funny… I was just thinking about kicking _your ass_ too," Arlong retorted.

"Hold on Arlong," Choo attempted to calm him, "Don't get worked up. We can handle this trash." Choo, Hachi and Kuroobi stood together in between Arlong and the Straw Hats.

"So now the big players show up," Zoro noted.

"These three might actually be worth fighting," Sabo mused.

"Bring it, fish-bastards," Sanji challenged Arlong's three officers.

"Well… there's three of them and three of you," Usopp pointed out. "So I'll just sit this one out."

"Hey guys…" Luffy said. "I've got a problem."

Choo took a deep breath and turned to the Straw Hats. "WATER—"

" **QUICK DRAW!"**

 **KER-CHOW!**

Choo flinched at the last second which saved his life. The round struck his arm instead of his chest but still sent him flying.

"I told you last time that if I had my rifle you'd be dead," Sabo taunted as he lowered the smoking Bonnie Anne. "Well… I've got my rifle… so now… you're dead."

"You bastard…" Choo growled as he clutched his limp arm.

"Roronoa Zoro!" Hachi called out, "I heard you're a great swordsman!"

"Just great?" Zoro questioned. "I aim to be _the best_ swordsman."

"Well, it doesn't matter," Hachi told him, "No human swordsman is a match for me."

"Looks like the rifle-guy and the swordsman picked their victims," Sanji commented as he eyed Kuroobi, "So I guess that makes _you_ the leftovers. I don't have many recipes for sting rays but I'm sure I can come up with something."

"Hmph," Kuroobi grunted. "A human punk like you could never stand up to my Fishman Karate."

"Guys! Seriously!" Luffy called out. "Problem!"

"Luffy, what's wrong?" Usopp asked then he looked down. "Oh no!"

"Take this!" Hachi called out, "HACHI INK JET!"

 **FWOOOSH!**

Hachi sprayed a torrent of black ink at the Straw Hats from the horn-shaped mouth.

"SCATTER!" Sabo called out as he, Zoro and Sanji jumped out of the way.

"It's just ink… right?" Usopp said as he stepped in front of Luffy.

 **SPLAT!**

The powerful spray of ink hit Usopp at full force and blasted the sniper back into Luffy. Luffy stayed rooted in place until the torrent stopped and Usopp dropped down in front of him covered in black ink.

"KOFF! KOFF! UGHH!" Usopp groaned.

"USOPP!" Luffy called out in alarm as he stared at the sniper who had taken the blast of ink for him.

"What're you guys doing?" Sabo asked from where he was now sitting up on the edge of the first floor roof of Arlong Park. "You should've dodged that."

"He couldn't dodge," Usopp explained as he pulled up his goggles to reveal his protected eyes which now stood out in contrast to the rest of his black ink-coated body, "And we need him to be able to see so he can fight Arlong. I'm okay though. Thanks for asking."

"I'm stuck," Luffy stated as he pointed down to where his feet were still embedded in the ground.

"YOU DID THAT YOURSELF!" Zoro berated him.

"Luffy, what were you thinking?" Sabo scolded him.

"The idiot clearly wasn't," Sanji remarked.

 **POW-POW-POW!**

Hachi punched the ground with his six arms then grabbed the huge chunk of stone that he'd knocked loose and threw it at the Straw Hats. "Take this! ON THE ROCKS!"

The rock came flying at them and Usopp screamed. "GAAH! I CAN'T TAKE _THAT ONE_!"

"The new guy's got it," Sabo noted as he lowered Bonnie Anne and patted her barrel as he watched the rock sail passed from up on the roof.

 **KROOOM!**

The rock crashed down but then split in half to reveal Sanji standing in front of Luffy and Usopp with his leg raised up over his head.

"YAY SANJI!" Luffy cheered while Usopp wiped is brow in relief.

"I may have an idiot for a Captain," Sanji admitted, "But this idiot is _way better_ than a bunch of woman-hating talking fish."

Arlong suddenly stood up.

"Arlong, we've got this under control," Kuroobi assured him.

"Don't worry," Arlong said as he approached the Straw Hats. "I'm calm. There's just a simple matter that I have to take care of."

"Get away from my brother," Sabo warned Arlong as he aimed Bonnie Anne at him. "He'll fight you when he's good and ready… and… not stuck in the floor."

"Give it your best shot!" Arlong challenged him.

 **KER-CHOW!**

 **WHAP!**

"Oh shit!" Sabo gasped as Arlong caught his bullet in midair then threw it back at him.

 **BANG!**

Sabo dove out of the way with Bonnie and a large hole was left in the roof where he'd been sitting.

"The Captain's busy! Back off!" Zoro growled as he charged Arlong and swung his sword.

 **KLANK!**

Arlong bent forward and blocked Zoro's sword with his long nose.

"What…" Zoro sputtered. Arlong twisted his head and launched the Boatswain backwards.

"DAMN FISH!" Sanji snapped as he swung his foot around at Arlong.

 **WHAP!**

Arlong caught Sanji's ankle then roughly threw the Cook after Zoro,

 **WHAM!**

Sanji collided with Zoro and the duo hit the ground.

Usopp suddenly found himself as the only one standing between Arlong and Luffy. The terrified sniper's legs started shaking as Arlong towered over him. This fishman _monster_ had plowed through Sabo, Zoro and Sanji's collective assault like it was nothing. If they couldn't do anything against this otherworldly beast then what the hell could he do?

"Well, long-nose?" Arlong prompted. "I'm waiting."

"I… I… OH MY GOD! LOOK! WHAT'S THAT?" Usopp called out as he pointed behind Arlong.

"Huh? What? Where?" Hachi called out as he turned to look in the direction Usopp had pointed.

The octopus fishman was the only one that had fallen for Usopp's 'clever rouse'. Arlong, Kuroobi and Choo watched as Usopp turned and ran from the terrifying monsters.

"Pathetic," Arlong sneered as Usopp ran out through the destroyed gate. "You three! Enough playing possum!" Arlong called out to Shioyaki, Pisaro and Kaneshiro. "Go after long-nose and kill him! I won't allow any of these pests to leave this island alive."

"Yes sir!" Shioyaki called out. Pisaro the musician pulled out his maracas while Kaneshiro the shipwright produced a pair of saws before they chased after Usopp.

"YOU BASTARD!" Luffy snapped as he shot his fist at Arlong. "GUM GUM… PISTOL!"

 **WHAP!**

Arlong caught Luffy's fist… with his mouth.

"OW! OW! HE'S BITING! HE'S BITING!"

Arlong casually reached down and drove his webbed hands into the stone ground at Luffy's feet.

 **KROOM!**

Arlong hauled Luffy and a huge chunk of stone that was twice the size of him up into the air.

"It's time to play my favorite game!" Arlong announced, "Drown the Human!"

"GRAAH!" Luffy growled as he lunged and bit Arlong's shoulder.

"LUFFY!" Sabo called out in alarm and fired his rifle.

 **KER-CHOW!**

A large chunk of the stone broke off but it wasn't enough to free Luffy's legs before Arlong turned and threw Luffy clear across the Arlong Park waterway.

Luffy nearly cleared the front gate before the plummeted downward and sank into the water.

 **SPLOOOSH!**

"SHAHAHAHAHA!" Arlong laughed at his handiwork. "That brat's eaten a Devil Fruit which means he can't swim. But even if he could… there's no way he'd make it out with his feet trapped in that rock!" Arlong sneered up at Sabo. "Shahahahaha! You see how weak your species is? You pathetic humans can't even breathe underwater."

"Maybe we can't breathe underwater," Sabo admitted, "But we humans have something that you fish clearly don't."

"Oh yeah, what's that?" Arlong asked.

"Balls," Sabo glibly answered. "I don't need to resort to drowning my enemies. I'm gonna look you in the eye when I gun you down."

 **KER-CHOW!**

 **WHAP!**

Arlong once again caught Sabo's round in midair then casually tossed the bullet asides. "Worthless." Arlong gave his officers one final command as he headed back to his throne, "Kill them all."

* * *

Meanwhile, Usopp had run out the gate and barreled through the Cocoyashi Mob to make his escape.

"Where's he going?" Genzo wondered.

" **A more important question is… what are** _ **you**_ **doing here?"** The Cocoyashi Mob suddenly found themselves faced with three fishmen.

"This looks like a rebellion to me," Kaneshiro noted.

"PREPARE YOURSELVES FISHMEN!" Johnny and Yosaku yelled as they threw themselves at the trio.

 **CHAK! CHAK!**

"Almost got 'em…" Johnny groaned as he and Yosaku hit the ground.

Pisaro stood over them brandishing his maracas. It turned out they were actually really heavy and doubled as clubs in addition to musical instruments.

"That was pathetic," Kaneshiro taunted before he set his sights on the civilians. "But not nearly as pathetic as this little uprising you seem to be holding."

"I think it's time to teach you humans your place," Shioyaki announced as he stepped forward.

" **SPECIAL ATTACK… EXPLODING STAR!"**

Shioyaki was hit by a projectile that exploded on impact and blasted him backwards.

 **KA-BOOOOM!**

"HEY!" Usopp bravely called out… from forty feet away. "YOU'RE AFTER ME, RIGHT?"

"GET HIM!" Shioyaki yelled as he got back up. The fishman trio charged at the gunner.

"YIPE!" Usopp squeaked as he turned and ran off with three fishmen in hot pursuit. "AAAAAAAAAHHH!"

"First he's brave… then he runs screaming," Dr. Nako remarked, "What kind of pirates are these guys?"

"A guy like that… fighting the fishmen?" Nojiko questioned. "I can't believe it."

"NO!" Johnny suddenly cried out as he stared into Arlong Park. "This is bad!"

"What's going on?" Genzo asked.

"Arlong just threw Luffy-bro in the water!" Johnny exclaimed. "He can't swim! I've gotta…"

 **Fwump!**

Johnny collapsed unable to keep going after his two latest beatings.

"Right then… coming up," Nojiko resolved as she readied her hammer and turned to go.

"Nojiko, where do you think you're going?" Genzo demanded.

"Sabo and his friends are fighting for my sister," Nojiko told him. "The very least I can do in return is try to save his brother."

"Nojiko, wait!" Genzo called after her.

"Don't try to stop me!" Nojiko warned him.

"I wasn't," Genzo stated, "I'm coming with you."

Nojiko nodded. "Alright, follow me. Nami showed me a spot where we can slip into the waterway without being noticed."

* * *

"Shit, we've gotta help Luffy," Sanji resolved as he turned to dive in the water way.

"Hold on," Zoro instructed as he held his arm out to stop Sanji, "We can't act hasty. Those fish freaks probably want us to go in the water. They'll have a big advantage down there."

"Normally, I'd be the first one in there," Sabo stated, "But I already took a swim and Bonnie doesn't agree with water. I can still be a lookout from up here though."

"And with your injuries from Mihawk you'd be a sitting duck down there," Sanji noted as he eyed Zoro's bandages. "That means it's on me to save the Captain." Sanji took off his jacket and kicked off his shoes. "If it's for the beautiful Nami-swan I'll do it."

"I'll cover you," Sabo offered. "Or at the very least I'll hold the fish off as long as I can."

"Thanks," Sanji said before he turned and dove into the waterway.

 **SPLASH!**

"Hmph," Kuroobi grunted, "You fool. Right where I want you." The ray fishman moved to go after Sanji.

 **KER-CHOW!**

 **WHAK!**

Kuroobi swung his arm around and blocked Sabo's bullet with the fin blade on his arm.

"I didn't give you permission to leave," Sabo warned him from up on the roof.

"Human scum," Kuroobi scoffed, "We're fishmen. That means we're your superiors. We don't need your permission to do anything! CHOO!" Kuroobi turned and saw that his fellow fishman officer had his head dunked in the waterway and was having a long drink.

 **Slurp… slurp… slurp…**

"You're dead now," Kuroobi boasted as he watched Sabo load four bullets into Bonnie Anne. "Your toy can only fire six times. Choo can spit out hundreds of water bullets at a time and he's got an unlimited source of ammunition down here. That's yet another way that we fishmen are your natural superiors."

"We'll see about that," Sabo retorted as he snapped Bonnie Anne closed.

Choo stood back up. His arm was still limp from where Sabo had tagged him earlier but his belly had swelled from all the water he'd just consumed.

"You're a dead man, Top Hat, **choo** ," Choo called out.

"Bring it, trumpet-lips!" Sabo taunted.

"HUNDRED-SHOT WATER BULLET!"

 **CHOO-CHOO-CHOO-CHOO-CHOO!**

Sabo leapt out of the way as Choo opened fire with a barrage of water bullets that tore the first-floor roof to pieces

 **CHOO-CHOO-CHOO-CHOO-CHOO!**

Sabo ran along the roof as Choo continued to shoot off his seemingly endless barrage of water bullets.

 **CHOO-CHOO-CHOO-CHOO-CHOO!**

Sabo ran out of room on the first floor and quickly jumped up to the second floor to avoid Choo's blasts.

 **SKISH!**

"PARTING SHOT!"

 **KER-CHOW!**

Choo finally stopped and grinned up at Sabo when the pulled whizzed passed him, "Missed me."

"Wasn't aiming for you," Sabo replied.

Choo's eyes went and he turned to see Kuroobi on his knees clutching a bullet wound on his side.

"You bastard!" Choo growled.

Sabo casually stood on the second floor roof and kissed Bonnie's barrel. "Mwa, love ya babe."

"Damn rifle-freak showing off," Zoro grumbled from where he'd been mostly forgotten down below. "I've had enough of this. RAAAH!" Zoro charged at Choo and Kuroobi and swung his sword.

" **HACHI TRIPLE SWORD CATCH!"**

Hachi jumped in front of Kuroobi and Choo and used his six arms to catch Zoro's blade. Or at least he tried to.

 **SLIK!**

"YAAAH!" Hachi yelped as _Wado Ichimonji_ cut the palm of his six hands. All his efforts had done was slightly slow Zoro's swing.

Zoro swung his blade around and sliced at Hachi's head.

 **SWISH!**

Hachi ducked and Zoro's blade only ended up slicing off some of his spikey white hair.

"GAH! MY HAIR!" Hachi wailed. Then he shrugged. "Oh well. It's just hair. It'll grow back."

"STOP FOOLING AROUND!" Zoro yelled.

"You first," Hachi retorted. "I heard you use three swords. How come you're only using one?"

"None of your business!" Zoro growled at him.

"I'm the best swordsman on Arlong's crew," Hachi boasted, "Your Santoryu - Three-Sword-Style is really famous in this ocean. I wanted a chance to try my hands against it. But if you're not gonna use all your swords then I don't see why I should bother getting mine."

"Go get them!" Zoro barked at him, "I'll take everything you've got _and then some_!"

"Okay, your funeral," Hachi agreed. "Kuroobi, cover for me!"

Kuroobi stood up and turned to face Zoro as Hachi ran into Arlong Park to get his swords.

"There's something off with that one," Zoro remarked.

"You're one to talk," Kuroobi growled, " _Your_ _friend_ is fondling his rifle."

"He's _not_ my friend," Zoro insisted then turned and yelled up at Sabo, "OI! GET A ROOM, RIFLE-FREAK!"

"You're just jealous that your last sword won't give you the time of a day!

"I'd never disgrace my sword by doing something like that with it!"

"I stand corrected," Kuroobi stated, "They're _both_ weirdos."

"Even for human standards, **choo** ," Choo agreed.

* * *

" _Damn it, Luffy. Where are you?"_ Sanji thought to himself as he swam down into dark water at the bottom of the waterway. The waterway was surprisingly deep but when you consider the fact that it was designed for a massive sea cow like Mohmoo to swim in and out of it made sense that it was so deep.

* * *

" _CAN'T BREATHE!"_ Luffy wailed internally as he clutched his hands over his mouth in a desperate attempt to retain the little oxygen that he had left.

But that was when Nojiko and Genzo finally spotted him. Nojiko pointed at the trapped pirate and the two swam over to him.

Genzo reached down and grabbed one of Luffy's ankles and gave it a tug but it was firmly wedged in the stone block.

" _This won't be a simple matter of just pulling his feet free,"_ Genzo realized. _"But with that strange stretching ability of his we should at least be able to help him breathe."_

Genzo turned to Nojiko and pointed to Luffy's head then motioned up towards the surface. He reached out and took Nojiko's hammer from her then motioned to himself followed by the stone slab that Luffy's feet were trapped in.

Nojiko nodded in understanding then grabbed Luffy's head and stretched his neck as she started to swim up towards the surface.

* * *

"WAAAAAHHH!" Usopp screamed as he ran along the path towards Cocoyashi Village. Pisaro and Kaneshiro were both on the heavy side and had fallen behind but Shioyako was hot on his heels.

 **WHAP!**

"Gotcha, long-nose!" Shioyako crowed as he grabbed the back of Usopp's overalls. "You ever see a salmon swim upriver? There's no way you could outrun me."

"Oh god, no!" Usopp whimpered, "Please, I'm sorry!"

 **POW!**

Shioyaki drove his fist into Usopp's stomach and sent the sniper flying a good five feet down the road.

 **SPLAT!**

Usopp landed hard on his stomach and a red puddle oozed out from under him.

"That's it? Just one punch?" Shioyaki questioned. "You couldn't even give a good chase. That's pathetic."

* * *

"You know," Sabo remarked as he glanced down at the damage Choo had done to the first floor roof. "For as much time as you guys spent trying to calm down your boss so he wouldn't wreck the place. It looks like you did a pretty good job of it yourself."

"That's what your corpse will look like when I'm done with you!" Choo threatened him.

"Not likely," Sabo scoffed. "I'd take Bonnie over your crummy squirt gun any day. All that talk about fishman superiority and you can't even hit a moving target. I trained for years with Bonnie to get to be the good shot that I am and she's _still_ way better than me. You've just been coasting off of Arlong's reputation and only use that squirt gun to hit unarmed targets that are standing right in front of you."

"YOU BASTARD!" Choo growled. "I'LL BLAST SO MANY HOLES IN YOU THAT THEY WON'T BE ABLE TO IDENTIFY YOUR BODY, **CHOO**!" Choo raced towards the ten storied structure of Arlong Park then opened fire on Sabo. "HUNDRED SHOT WATER BULLET!"

 **CHOO-CHOO-CHOO-CHOO-CHOO!**

"This again," Sabo grumbled as he tucked Bonnie Anne under his arm and started to run from the spray of bullets that shot up the second floor roof in his wake.

"Looks like it's down to you and me," Zoro noted as he stared at Kuroobi.

"Not quite," Kuroobi replied. "Your opponent is over there."

" **I'M BACK ZORO!"** Hachi called out as he returned with a sword in each of his six arms. "Your three-sword style might be effective… but my _six sword style_ Rokutoryu is two-times better! I'm the best swordsman on Fishman Island! You have no chance of beating me! **Nyu!** "

"Six sword style?" Zoro repeated. "Don't make me laugh. Let me tell you something, octopus. There's a man I'm going to meet no matter what. And until I meet him not even the Shinigami will take my life!"

Kuroobi saw that Sabo and Zoro were caught up with Choo and Hachi then turned towards the water. "And that's my cue to leave."

 **SPLASH!**

The ray fishman dove into the water and shot off like a bullet after Sanji.

 **SKISH!**

Sabo jumped up another floor while Choo continued to riddle the roof of Arlong Park with bullet holes.

 **CHOO-CHOO-CHOO-CHOO-CHOO!**

"Are you tired of missing yet?" Sabo taunted as he landed on the third-floor roof.

Choo finally broke off his barrage and glared up at Sabo.

"THAT IS _IT_!" he exclaimed. "I'm coming up there so I can kill you face-to-face!"

"Hah! Some shooter you are!" Sabo mocked him.

"RAAH!" Choo roared as he ran forward and jumped up onto the first floor roof.

 **Kreshh…**

The roof was already weak from taking all of Choo's water bullets. The fishman landing on the weakened roofing caused it to give way.

"DAMN IT!" Choo cursed before he launched himself off the crumbling roof and flew straight up at Sabo.

"OVERWATCH!"

 **KER-CHOW!**

Sabo fired off a round at the approaching fishman.

 **WHISH!**

Choo spun in midair and managed to avoid the bullet. "NOW WHO'S THE LOUSY SHOT?"

"QUICK ADJUST!"

 **KER-CHOW!**

Sabo fired off another shot and tagged Choo's shoulder. The impact from the magnum round sent Choo plummeting back down to the ground.

 **KRASH!**

"STILL YOU!" Sabo called down after him.

 **Fwump!**

Zoro suddenly collapsed in front of Hachi.

"Uhh… are you okay?" the octopus fishman asked. "I haven't even hit you yet but you already look like you're dying, **nyu**!"

"Don't worry about it…" Zoro mumbled. _"Shit… why'd my injuries have to act up now?"_ He forced himself back up to his feet then pulled out his bandana and tied it on. "JOHNNY! YOSAKU! THROW ME YOUR SWORDS!"

"SURE, BRO!" Johnny replied.

"CATCH!" Yosaku called out as the two bounty hunters lobbed their swords at Zoro.

" _Shit…"_ Zoro internally cursed. _"I feel like I'm gonna pass out any minute now. I thought moving around would lower my fever but it just made it worse."_

"BRO! OUR SWORDS!" Johnny shouted in warning as the two spinning blades closed in on Zoro.

"WE THREW THEM TO YOU!" Yosaku yelled. "LOOK OUT!"

"I'll show you a gap in skill that no one with two arms could ever pass!" Hachi boasted. "Rokutoryu can only be done by someone with six arms and a flexible body like mine!" Hachi swung his six arms around then lashed out with his six blades. "OCTOPUS MIRACLE SWORD!"

 **WHAP!**

In one movement, Zoro spun and caught Johnny and Yosaku's swords then kept spinning and ducked under Hachi's first three strikes.

 **SWISH!**

"You can't hope to match my style with only three swords!" Hachi insisted as he continued to jab his six swords out in front of him.

 **SWISH!**

"Santoryu…" Zoro intoned and spun passed Hachi's swords then slashed his own as he slipped passed the flailing fishman. "TOUROU NAGASHI!"

 **SLA-SLISH!**

Blood squirted out of Hachi's chest as he froze in shock.

"HE GOT BY!" Johnny and Yosaku cheered as Zoro stood silently behind Hachi.

"Grr…" Arlong growled from his throne as he watched both of his officers take hits.

"That punk…" Choo grunted as he staggered back up and glared up at Sabo. Both his arms now hung limply at his side. "I'LL SHOOT YOU FULL OF HOLES!"

"Please," Sabo scoffed. "What're you gonna do? Bleed on me? Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left."

"I DON'T NEED ARMS TO KILL A WORTHLESS HUMAN LIKE YOU!" Choo hollered.

"NOW I'M REALLY MAD!" Hachi yelled at Zoro, "I'LL KILL YOU FOR SURE! Think about it logically, there's no way you could beat six swords with only three!"

"Logically?" Zoro repeated. "Then there's a huge error in your calculations. I may only have three swords but this more weight in just one of my blades than all six of yours put together."

An image of Kuina flashed in front of Zoro's eyes… followed by Mihawk. He and Kuina had vowed to become the best. Then he'd made an oath on her sword to never lose again. Those were promises that he couldn't afford to break no matter what happened to him.

"…" Hachi stared silently at Zoro unable to comprehend the weight behind Zoro's words or his swords.

* * *

"KOFF! KOFF!" Luffy coughed up water as Nojiko's cradled his head in her lap while she sat beside the waterway outside the front gate of Arlong Park.

"Hey, you okay?" Nojiko asked.

"I don't… feel so good…" Luffy confessed. His head was above the surface but the rest of his body was still weakened from being underwater.

"Your feet are still trapped in that rock," Nojiko told him. "Genzo's down below trying to smash it."

"Genzo? The pinwheel guy?" Luffy questioned.

"Yeah… the pinwheel guy," Nojiko confirmed. "Just hold on. We'll get you out of there."

Luffy nodded. Nojiko stared silently down at the pirate that had _thrown_ a massive monster and had been standing up to an even more terrifying monster in Arlong for the sake of her sister.

"Hey… can I ask you something?" Nojiko inquired. "Why are you guys fighting so hard for Nami? What are you getting out of this?"

"Nami's Nakama," Luffy answered, "I don't need another reason."

* * *

 **Tonk!**

Down below them, Genzo continued his exercise of near futility as he continued to pound the stone slab with Nojiko's hammer. The water had slowed his swing and resulted in it having almost no impact when it finally hit the rock.

" _Damn it…"_ Genzo grumbled, _"I can't make a proper swing when I'm underwater like this."_

But that was when Sanji finally arrived.

" _There he is!"_ the cook thought to himself as he saw Luffy and Genzo. _"And that pinwheel guy that was leading the mob is with him."_

Sanji drifted closer and spotted a long fleshy tube that was stretched up towards the surface. _"Is that… Luffy's neck. That means there's someone else holding Luffy's head above the surface. Good. He's okay. Now I just have to smash that rock and we can get Luffy out of here."_

Sanji approached Genzo and motioned to the stone slab and then himself.

But Genzo's eyes suddenly went wide and he flailed his arms around before he motioned behind Sanji.

" **FISHMAN KARATE… FOREARM SLEDGE!**

 **WHAM!**

Kuroobi came down and slammed the fin blade on his arm into Sanji's back. The Cook dropped down out of the way and Kuroobi spotted Genzo and Luffy.

"You…" Kuroobi instantly recognized Genzo. He had been the one to give the Mayor his numerous scars when the Arlong Pirates had invaded eight years ago. "I see… you're trying to save that man. But his fate and yours both remain the same. You'll both die here."

Kuroobi swam toward Genzo.

 **WHAP!**

Sanji grabbed Kuroobi's leg and held him back.

Kuroobi spun around and glared at the human pirate. "Do you _really_ want to fight me underwater? You're at your limit just trying to hold your breath."

Sanji glared at Kuroobi. _"I won't let you go."_

"So be it," Kuroobi resolved. "Dueling Hair Tether!" Kuroobi twisted his head and his long braided ponytail shot out and wrapped around Sanji's waist.

 **SWISH!**

Kuroobi used his hold to tug Sanji towards him. Sanji spotted the cloud of red that hung around Kuroobi side and drove his foot into the bullet wound.

 **Thwak!**

"Hmph, that barely stung," Kuroobi taunted he slapped the wound at his side and shrugged off Sanji's attack. "Your kicks may be strong on the surface but underwater they lose half their power. However, that doesn't apply to Fishman Karate. In fact, some techniques are actually _twice as strong_ when performed underwater. Perhaps a demonstration is in order?"

 **WHISH!**

Kuroobi used his braid to yank Sanji towards him then lashed out his own leg and drove it into Sanji's chest at full speed. "UNDERSEA BOWEL BUSTER!"

 **THWAK!**

"UGGH!" Sanji groaned as the kick to the stomach drove precious air out of his lungs.

Kuroobi kept up his assault and flipped up overhead then brought his heel down on Sanji's back. "FLAMING AXE KICK!"

 **THWAK!**

Sanji doubled over from the blow to the back and Kuroobi quickly followed up by swinging his leg up into Sanji's chest. "BACK-FOOT JAWBREAKER!"

 **THWAK!**

"GRGL!" Sanji choked as he lost even more air.

Kuroobi drew back his arm and lashed out for a Palm Strike, "GUFFAW PALM BOMB!"

 **WHAM!**

Blood sprayed out from Sanji's mouth. Kuroobi's braid released him and allowed him to go sailing through the water and crashed into the wall of the waterway.

 **KROOM!**

Kuroobi grinned as he turned back to Genzo, "And now it's your turn…"

* * *

"He seriously died from just one punch?" Pisaro asked when he and Kaneshiro finally caught up only to find the fight already over, "He was really that weak?"

"You wanna check?" Shioyaki offered as he motioned towards Usopp and the puddle of blood he was in.

"No way!" Kaneshiro refused. "Human weakness might be contagious. I'm not touching his blood."

"Let's go back then," Pisaro decided, "If the other humans are as weak as this guy then everyone else is probably celebrating their victory already."

The three fishmen turned and headed back the way they came. They left Usopp lying on the road in a puddle of blood. Or at least something that closely resembled blood.

"Heh… Special Attack… Ketchup Star…" Usopp whispered as the pursuers walked away.

" _These fishmen are monsters…"_ Usopp thought to himself. _"That one punch almost did kill me. I can't fight three of them! I feel sorry for Nami. I really do wanna help her but I also don't wanna die."_

The faces of his brave friends flashed through his memory.

" _We're Nakama aren't we?"_

" _Usopp… run for it. I got you into this mess so I'm gonna get you out of it."_

" _Ever since I decided to become the World's Greatest Swordsman I threw away my attachment to life. I've always known that I could die in the pursuit. But that's up to me to find out."_

" _I may have an idiot for a Captain. But this idiot is **way better** than a bunch of woman-hating talking fish."_

All four of them were Brave Warriors like Usopp dreamed of being. When the time came for them to fight the fishmen they didn't hesitate and they weren't scared. They stood their ground against the monsters and fought like real men.

" _Usopp knows what he saw."_

Now Usopp knew what he'd seen. Nami was the bravest out of all of them. She wasn't a crazy-strong warrior like the other four. She was just a normal girl that was trapped working for a monster. But she had still risked everything in order to save Sabo. Now the others were all risking their lives to save her.

"I really am a pathetic weakling…" Usopp realized. "What the hell am I doing?" Usopp took a deep breath and stood up. "HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, YOU FISH-BASTARDS!"

"Eh? So he really was still alive," Shioyaki realized as the three fishmen turned around.

"As if a weak punch from half fish bastard could kill me!" Usopp retorted, "I'M CAPTAIN USOPP!"

" _From the moment I left my village I should've thrown away all notions of 'peace' and 'safety'. They all risk their lives and gave their all every day. That's why they can laugh from the bottom of their hearts. That's why I decided to go out to see. Because I want to be able to laugh and smile like they do! If don't fight now… then I don't have any right to sail with them or to laugh with them!"_

"GET HIM!" Kaneshiro yelled as the three fishmen charged at Usopp.

Usopp pulled out his slingshot and fired a round at the ground. "SMOKE STAR!"

 **FWOOOOSH!**

A cloud smoke enveloped Usopp. The three fishmen slowed down as they stepped into it and found their vision obscured.

"Where'd he go?" Pisaro wondered.

" **TAKE THIS!"** Usopp shouted from somewhere in the smoke before the threw a bottle at the fishmen.

 **WHAP!**

Shioyaki reacted quickly and caught the bottle. "Huh, booze?"

" **LEAD STAR!"**

 **KRESH!**

Usopp's pachinko ball shattered the bottle and doused the salmon fishman in booze.

"Ugh… what the hell?" Shioyako complained.

" **FIRE STAR!"** An orange round struck Shioyaki and ignited. The alcohol that was covering the fishman quickly caught fire and caused his entire body to burst into flames.

 **FWOOOOM!**

"WAAAAAAHHH!" Shioyaki screamed. "I'M BURNING! BURNING!"

Shioyaki ran out of the smoke cloud and rushed for the large puddles that lined the road.

But Usopp was already there waiting for him with a hammer, "UUUSOOOPP… HAMMER!"

 **WHOMP!**

Shioyaki dropped into the puddle which extinguished the flames. But the salmon fishman didn't get up.

"YEAH! ONE DOWN!" Usopp cheered. "YOU SEE THAT? I CAN DO THIS!"

" **You'll pay for that."**

Usopp looked up in time to see Pisaro and Kaneshiro step out of the smoke.

"Gulp," Usopp swallowed hard. He'd beaten one fishman but there were still two more. And these two had weapons!

* * *

"I'LL TEAR YOU APART!" Choo shouted. "HUNDRED-SHOT WATER CANNON!"

 **CHOO-CHOO-CHOO-CHOO!**

But this time, instead of aiming at Sabo, Choo aimed at the ground and his barrage of water bullets launched him up into the air. In a flash, he was three stories up in the air and quickly ruined his barrage on Sabo.

 **CHOO-CHOO-CHOO-CHOO!**

"Whoa!" Sabo yelped as he dove to the side to avoid the water bullets then turned and dove through a nearby window into Arlong Park.

 **KRESH!**

"Big mistake…" Choo growled as he landed on the third-floor roof and blasted the wall of the room Sabo had just slipped into.

 **CHOO-CHOO-CHOO-CHOO!**

Choo kept up his barrage and blasted straight through the wall into the room.

 **CHOO-CHOO-CHOO-CHOO!**

The wall couldn't withstand all the damage and crumbled leaving the room empty exposed. "Where'd you go."

 **"Missed again!"** Sabo dropped down from the ceiling with his rifle aimed at Choo. "RETURN FIRE!"

 **KER-CHOW!**

Bonnie Anne's bullet struck Choo in the stomach and caused him to spit up the last of his water as he doubled over and started retching.

"GLURG!"

"Gotcha, hook, line and sinker," Sabo taunted. "You've got no arms left, you've got no water left, and now you're three stories away from your ammunition source. But Bonnie's still got two bullets left."

"Just one problem with that, **choo,** " Choo grunted from where he was kneeling on the roof outside. "I may be out of water… but I'm not out of ammo… BLOOD CANNON!"

 **CHOOOOM!**

Choo spat a cannonball-sized blast of his own blood at Sabo.

" _Can't dodge…"_ Sabo realized. "Bonnie… save yourself." Sabo tossed his rifle up over his head.

 **SPLOOOSH!**

Sabo was hit with the blood ball and got blasted backwards into the far wall.

 **THUD!**

Sabo hit the floor and groaned while Choo stood up and grinned. "Now it's over, **choo**."

* * *

Three floors down, Zoro continued his fight against Hachi.

"The weight of your sword…" Hachi repeated. "That's impossible! My swords all weigh two hundred pounds. They're far heavier than any swords you humans could use."

"I'm not gonna waste any more words on an idiot," Zoro stated.

"Fine then!" Hachi resolved as he held his swords together in a point. "Six-Sword-Style… NEW YEARS…" Hachi lunged at Zoro but Zoro got his swords up to block.

 **KLANG!**

"OCTOPUS POT!" Hachi snapped his swords apart and forced Zoro to spread his arms. "SLAM!" Hachi shot his head forward and drove it into Zoro's injured chest.

 **WHAM!**

Zoro was sent flying up into the air then started to drop.

"You won't touch the ground in one piece!" Hachi announced as he held his six swords up over his head and started to spin. "SIX SWORD STYLE… WALTZ OF SIX SWORDS! I'LL TURN YOU INTO MINCEMEAT!"

Zoro began spinning and he drew closer to Hachi's swords that were still spinning like a high speed fan.

 **SWISH!** **SLIK!**

"YAAAH!" Hachi yelped from the new wounds on his hands while Zoro landed safely beside him. "That bastard spun himself through my swords and even cut my hands!" He glared at Zoro, "NOW I _REALLY_ WON'T FORGIVE YOU!"

* * *

Kuroobi stood poised and ready to finish what he started with Genzo eight years ago when movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. The ray fishman turned to see Sanji making a break for the surface.

"Not dead yet," Kuroobi noted, "But I won't let you reach the surface alive."

 **SHOOM!**

The fishman shot through the water like a torpedo and suddenly appeared in front of sanji… effectively blocking the cook's path to the surface.

"Where do you think you're going?" Kuroobi demanded.

" _Damn it! Just let me passed!"_ Sanji thought frantically as he held his hands over his mouth. _"I need air!"_

"I'm actually impressed that a mere human could withstand my attacks," Kuroobi admitted, "especially underwater. But this is as far as your chivalry will take you. This game only ends one way: with your death. Once you're dead, I'll finish off the old man. Your rubber Captain's body is defenseless down here so I'll kill him next. Then I'll go back to the surface and eliminate top hat and the swordsman if I need to. And don't think that Nami will get away for free either. She's going to work for Arlong whether she wants to or not. Despite all your idealistic chivalry you couldn't save even one person!"

Sanji glared at Kuroobi but couldn't properly respond underwater.

 **Whap!**

Kuroobi grabbed Sanji's shoulder. "Your species is truly pathetic. I bet you couldn't even handle a sudden change in water pressure. If were to drag you down to the ocean floor… your lungs would burst! I haven't actually seen it happen myself… but let's give it a try, shall we?"

Kuroobi tightened his hold on Sanji as he flipped over then dove straight down to the bottom of the Arlong Park waterway. "PULVERIZING PRESSURE PLUNGE!"

 **SHOOOM!**

" _I can't fight this guy down here…"_ Sanji realized. _"This calls for a change of plans. I'll leave Luffy for now… he'll be alright until I can finish this fight and come back to smash that rock. This fish-bastard thinks I can't save anyone! I'll show him!"_

 **URK!**

Blood gushed out of Sanji's mouth and formed a cloud in front of his face as his lungs were crushed by the sudden change of water presser.

But Sanji gritted his teeth and held on as he pointed up at the surface.

"You still won't die, eh?" Kuroobi noted as he stared at the weakly struggling cook. "Very well, let's try again. This time I'll do it from close to the surface and swim all the way down! You'll never survive." Kuroobi clutched at Sanji as he quickly swam back up towards the surface.

" _These fishmen…"_ Sanji thought to himself, _"On land they use their lungs to breathe but underwater they switch to gills. That makes him nothing more than a talking fish right now. Fish die when they get air in their lungs…"_

"Here we go!" Kuroobi prompted as he held Sanji near the surface. "PULVERIZING PRE-AAAAUUUGGGHHH!" Kuroobi screamed out in agonizing pain as Sanji latched his mouth of the fishman's gills and blew his remaining air into them.

Kuroobi went limp and sank downward while Sanji shot towards the surface.

* * *

"Any human that would dare attack on of our brothers deserves to die," Kaneshiro growled. "When we're done with you… I'll bring you head back to Arlong Park as a present for Arlong!"

"Oh yeah?" Usopp retorted. "But not if I hit you with this!" He pulled out his trusty rubber band. "UUUSOOOPP… RUBBER BAND OF DOOOOOOOOM!"

Both fishmen closed their eyes and flinched.

"GOTCHA!" Usopp called out from behind them. The two fishmen opened their eyes and turned around in time to see Usopp ran across the road into the forest.

"YOU LITTLE BASTARD!" Pisaro growled as they chased him into the forest.

The two fishman entered a clearing but Usopp was nowhere in sight.

"WHERE ARE YOU LONG NOSE?" Kaneshiro yelled. "COME OUT SO WE CAN KILL YOU!"

A familiar voice suddenly called out from the brush.

" **Anyone who thinks that Captain Usopp shouldn't be killed, raise your hands now!"**

" **I DO!"** a figure jumped up and raised his hand then dropped back down into the brush.

" **SAME HERE!"** the same figure called out as he jumped out from a different spot in the same area.

"What's that idiot doing?" Kaneshiro wondered.

"I'll flush the pipsqueak out," Pisaro stated, "You stay here so he doesn't escape."

" **DO YOU GUYS THING SO TOO?"** Usopp continued to carry on from the edge of the clearing.

" **ME TOO!"** Pisaro spotted a long nose figure with goggles in the brush and charged at him.

"GOTCHA!" the fishman musician shouted as he swung his maraca.

 **CHAK!**

Pisaro's strike connected… with a log that was wearing Usopp's goggles.

" **Special Attack… ROTTEN EGG STAR!"**

 **SPLAT!**

An egg flew in out of nowhere and pelted Pisaro upside the head. The egg cracked on impact and bathed Pisaro in its smelly rotten yoke.

"Uughh… gross!" Pisaro groaned. "it stinks! I'm gonna puke!" The sunfish fishman frantically rubbed at his eyes as they started tearing up from the horrid stench.

"Over here, you son of a pufferfish!" Usopp taunted from in front of a tree.

"YOU LEAVE MY MOTHER OUT OF THIS!" Pisaro roared as he charged in a blind rage and swung his club.

"YIPE!" Usopp yelped as he dove out of the way which caused Pisaro to smash the tree instead.

 **CHAK!**

"Too slow!" Usopp called out.

"RRAAAAH!" Pisaro roared as he spun and swung his other maraca. But again Usopp leapt out of the way and left a tree to take his lumps for him.

 **CHAK!**

"Wow! You've got really bad aim!" Usopp remarked from over by yet another tree. He had taken a quick second to reclaim his goggles.

"HOLD STILL YOU BRAT!" Pisaro bellowed as he swung his maracas and connected with yet another tree.

 **CHAK!**

The game of whack-a-mole continued as Pisaro kept smashing trees in place of Usopp.

 **CHAK! CHAK! CHAK!**

Finally, Kaneshiro felt it necessary to interject. "Pisaro, calm down or you'll never hit him."

"Right… right…" Pisaro agreed as he took a couple deep breaths through his mouth, "Little bastard almost made me lose my cool there…"

"Almost?" Kaneshiro repeated skeptically.

"Hey guys!" Usopp called out from behind Kaneshiro. "Look up."

Pisaro and Kaneshiro looked up in time to see the half dozen trees that Pisaro had smashed with his heavy maracas fall over… right on top of them.

 **KREK-KREK-KROOOOSH!**

"YEEEEAAAH! I DID IT!" Usopp cheered as the two fishmen were buried under fallen trees. "Ehahahaha! How's that guys? I beat not just one, not even two but _THREE_ fishmen!"

 **SLISH-SLISH!**

A pair of saws cut through the toppled timber and Kaneshiro emerged looking pissed. "Make that _two_."

* * *

Bonnie dropped down and landed on Sabo.

Choo's eyes widened in alarm as Sabo aimed his rifle at him from point-blank range.

"True… Grit…"

 **KER-CHOW!**

Choo was shot in the chest and got blasted out the hole in the wall then plummeted three stories and shattered the stone ground on impact.

 **KRESH!**

"Heh, got him," Sabo chuckled as he used the wall behind him to push himself back up to his feet.

Sabo stepped out through the hole Choo had made in the wall and walked out onto the roof. He glanced downward and saw Choo lying unmoving in crater.

 **Winner: Sabo**

Sabo smirked, "HEY ZORO! I BEAT MINE FIRST!"

"Screw you!" Zoro snapped.

"THIS TIME I'LL FINISH YOU!" Hachi insisted as he pointed all six of his swords together in a familiar stance. "This technique words one hundred percent of the time! It already worked on you once! NEW YEAR'S…"

"ONI…" Zoro intoned as he rushed at Hachi and slashed his swords. "GIRI!"

 **KRESH!**

Hachi stared in shock as his six swords broke into twelve pieces.

"See?" Zoro said. "There's no way a bunch of puny two hundred pound swords could withstand the weight of my swords. I hope you're satisfied, stupid octopus."

"RAAH! I DON'T NEED SWORDS TO BEAT YOU!" Hachi shouted as he charged at Zoro and lashed out all six of his arms for a barrage of punches. "TAROYAKI PUNCH!"

Zoro spun around and slashed his three swords, "TATSU MAKI!" Hachi suddenly found himself charging right into a tornado made out of sharp metal blades.

 **SLA-SLA-SLISH!**

Blood trailed after Hachi as he went flying up into the air. "How could I lose to only three swords, **nyu**?"

 **KRASH!**

The octopus fishman crashed back to the ground and laid unconscious next to Choo.

 **Winner: Zoro**

"YOU RETCHED HUMAN BASTARDS!" Arlong roared as he shot up to his feet, "HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO MY FISHMAN BROTHERS!?"

"Oh boy, looks like he's really pissed now," Sabo remarked.

 **SPLASH!**

Just then, Sanji broke the surface in the waterway. He kicked his legs frantically and launched himself through the water and onto the shore.

"Sanji!" Sabo exclaimed, "Is Luffy, okay?"

"Mostly," Sanji answered.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Zoro demanded as the cook turned to the water.

"You wanna piece of me, you damn fish!?" Sanji hollered into the water. "COME UP HERE AND GET IT!"

 **SKISH!**

Kuroobi leapt out of the water and landed in front of Sanji.

"You still don't get it," Kuroobi said, "Whether on land or the water the vast gap between our strength remains the same. I'm a level forty black belt in Fishman Karate. You don't stand a chance!"

"Only level forty?" Sanji questioned. "Is that what you call those kiddie kicks you were hitting me with down here? If those were level forty then the kicks the old man hit me with ever since I was a kid must've been level four hundred at least!"

"HOW DARE YOU!" Kuroobi roared. "I'll finish you with the true essence of Fishman Karate!" Kuroobi clenched his fist and drew his arm back, "HUNDRED TILE TRUE PUNCH!"

But as Kuroobi lashed out for his final punch Sanji swung his leg around to meet him and connected with the fishman's neck. "COLLIER!"

 **THWAK!**

Kuroobi was caught off guard by the unfiltered strength of Sanji's kick and started to fall. Sanji raised his leg up overhead and brought it down on the fishman's shoulder. "EPAULE!"

 **THWHAM!**

Kuroobi was slammed face first into the ground. "What'd you say about my chivalry?" Sanji growled. Kuroobi staggered up but Sanji dropped onto his hands and swung his leg around for another kick. "COTELETTE!"

 **THWAK!**

Sanji's kick connected with Kuroobi's ribs and he immediately followed up with one to the lower back. "SELLE!"

 **THWAK!**

Sanji was a blur as he swung himself around Kuroobi continued his combo.

"POINTRINE!"

 **THWAK!**

"GIGOT!"

 **THWHAM!**

Kuroobi hit the ground again and Sanji casually stood over him.

"Why you… TAKE THIS!" Kuroobi shouted as he pushed himself up onto his knee and lashed out his arm. "THOUSAND TILE TRUE PUNCH!"

Sanji twisted his body as he lashed out his foot and drove it into Kruoobi's chest. "MOUTON SHOOT!"

 **THOOOM!**

Kuroobi went flying backwards, smashed straight through Arlong Park then came out the other side and crashed to the ground unconscious.

 **THUD!**

"I guess you won't be needing dessert," Sanji remarked as he lowered his leg.

 **Winner: Sanji**

* * *

"TIME TO GO!" Usopp squeaked as he spun around and raced away from Kaneshiro.

"NOT THIS TIME!" The fishman shipwright yelled as he threw one of his saws after Usopp.

 **SLISH!**

"AAAH!" Usopp cried out and dropped to the ground as the saw raked his side.

"No more running away…" Kaneshiro growled as he stomped after Usopp and drove his foot down onto the prone sniper's back.

" _This is it… I'm gonna die!"_ Usopp whimpered to himself. _"I'm sorry everyone… I guess this is the end of Captain Usopp. But at least I went out like a man and led a long productive life. Wait a minute… I'M ONLY SEVENTEEN! My life hasn't been long at all! I WANNA LIVE DAMN IT!"_

"Wanna know a secret?" Kaneshiro asked Usopp. "I'm not much of a shipwright. I can't build or maintain a ship worth a damn. But I _am_ good at taking 'em apart. You saw Arlong Park… yours truly cut apart Arlong's ship the Shark Superb to get the raw material to make it. After all the trouble you gave me… I think I'll take a little detour before I head back to Arlong. I'm gonna pay a visit to that caravel of yours… AND I'M GONNA TEAR IT APART! Then even if one of you human bastards is playing possum again you won't be able to leave the island!"

Usopp's blood ran cold as he slipped a hammer out of his arsenal bag. "Don't you dare… lay one flipper… on my ship… YOU FISHY SON OF A BITCH!"

Usopp acted quickly and swung his hammer up between Kaneshiro's legs.

 **WHOMP!**

"EEENNGGGHH!" Kaneshiro let out a high-pitched grunt as the hammer smashed his fish stick 'n' chips. But when he opened his eyes again, Usopp had slipped away. "Damn it… where'd he go this time?"

" **UP HERE, BRIGHT EYES!"**

Kaneshiro looked up to see Usopp perched on a branch overhead. The end of the branch was curled upward and split in a 'Y' shape. Usopp had a rubber band stretched between the two high points of the 'Y' to form a makeshift slingshot.

Usopp loaded his hammer into the slingshot and pulled back on the rubber band. "SPECIAL ATTACK… SURE-KILL HAMMER STAR!"

 **SHOO!**

Usopp let go and the hammer shot downward like a fish-seeking missile.

 **WHOMP!**

The hammer smashed down on Kaneshiro's head and the goldfish fishman toppled over unconscious.

"WOOHOO! I GOT HIM!" Usopp cheered. "YOU SEE THAT? I CAN BEAT THE FISHMEN TOO! I'M CAPTAIN USOPP AND I'M A BRAVE WARRIOR OF THE SEA! Yeah… oh boy…" Usopp cut off his cheering when he realized something. "Oh… right… I just knocked out the only other people here… That figures."

 **Winner: Usopp**

* * *

"What… what…" Arlong sputtered. "Choo... Hachi... Kuroobi..." He stared around Arlong Park in shock as he took in the fallen bodies of not just his three defeated officers but his entire crew. He was the only one left standing. "You unevolved monkeys _dare_ to hurt my fishman brothers!"

"I guess being born human and actually working to gain our strength trumped merely being born as naturally superior fishmen," Sabo retorted.

"I'LL KILL YOU MYSELF!" Arlong roared. "THEN WHEN I'M DONE I'LL MOUNT YOUR HEADS ON MY WALL!"

* * *

Luffy gets back in action and finishes things off next chapter

Silver signing off


	19. Nojiko

_**BROTHER ON BOARD**_

Lunapok - Glad you liked it. But you're going to have to wait a bit longer than normal for the next chapter. I wrote a message explaining why at the end of the chapter.

Hiezen - Yeah, Ace x Nojiko is a thing. It's actually a fairly popular One Piece ship despite the fact that they've never met and haven't shared one second of screen time together. The fishman shipwright wasn't mentioned in canon. None of the fishmen that Usopp fought were officially named in the series itself. But Oda likes to go back and give names to the background characters. I took the basic information Oda provided and managed to make characters.

rasEnshur1KEn - Human perseverance and hard work beats superior genetics yet again. Sabo beating his opponents first has been coincidences so far. Mohji attacked first when they dealt with Buggy and Zoro was half dead during his fight with Hachi so he was moving slower. When Zoro beats an opponent first once they get to the Grand Line he'll be sure to rub it in Sabo's face.

The Patient One - Thanks!

lostdog200 - Pixels was awful. I have no intention of watching or listening to anything that will remind me of it. You want to see a _good_ video game movie? I recommend Hardcore Henry. It plays out like you're watching someone play a first person shooter. But fair warning, it earns that hard 'R' rating with crazy violence, language and nudity. I'm not sure what _my_ Jolly Roger would look like but Sabo's would be the smiling Straw Hat-style skull wearing his top hat and an Advanced Wheel-Lock Rifle with added scope and custom revolving action replacing one of the crossbones.

anomynous - True. He could. But think it would take too long to get to Doflamingo and Dressrosa. I'm hoping to do something about Bonnie _before_ the time skip.

Syluk - Good. I'm glad the jumping around wasn't too confusing. I may try more of it in the future if I'm going to be doing a bunch of fights all the same time. The roof of Arlong Park is such a unique piece of architecture and I wanted to make full use of it in the fight. Luffy kind of just skips passed it and goes straight to the Chart Room so that left me free to have Sabo run rough _shot_ (Ker-Chohohoho! Gun Pun!) all over it.

crazyrubsoff - Well I'm glad you stuck with it. I made you laugh so I'm counting it as a win. I'm using the East Blue Saga as a period to establish Sabo's place on the crew and his relationship with the other Straw Hats. I want to have that set before I get to the Grand Line and start to really mess with the storyline. I think a new character joining a scene is something that _should be_ emphasized. Usually 'entrances' in One Piece are pretty badass so I don't want anyone to miss them in case they're skimming. One Piece _is_ a comic. I adopted the sound effects idea from QPython's Another Nakama series but for me they're extra important because they're Bonnie's main means of 'communicating'. I'm not sure what you're getting at about the dialogue. But that's just how I write. I don't really plan on changing it. Thanks for reading and reviewing though!

Guest - That's great. I'll probably include more of it down the line when I rearrange other arcs to have the fights all go on at once. And its always nice to meet another Monty Python fan. (Even if we haven't actually met.) I figure that since Sabo is One Piece British that gives him the right to quote Python.

* * *

 **Nojiko-**

Back at her house, Nami had bandaged her arm and had a good cry. The last hour had been very emotionally draining. Arlong's betrayal, her sister, Genzo and her neighbors all going off to their deaths and then Luffy and everyone stepping up for her.

"I'm done crying," Nami resolved as she wiped her eyes. "Everyone else is at Arlong Park fighting… I need to be there too." Nami stood up and grabbed her bo-staff then ran off towards Arlong Park.

* * *

"Choo and Hachi are down…" Nojiko reported as she peered around the edge of front gateway into Arlong Park and took stock of the battle that had been waged between the three Straw Hats and Arlong's three officers. "And the other blonde just sent Kuroobi flying through the building."

"Shi…shi…shi!" Luffy managed a weak laugh. "I knew it. My crew would never lose to those fish guys. Only the best pirates can sail with me. That's why I want Nami. She's the best navigator there is."

Nojiko smiled at the Pirate Captain's heartfelt words about her sister.

 **Splash!**

Genzo broke the surface and panted as he treaded water near them. "I'm sorry. I couldn't do anymore. What happened to the blonde?"

"All three of them won Genzo," Nojiko informed him. "Sabo lured Choo away from the water then blasted him out of a room on the third floor. The swordsman smashed through Hachi's six swords like they were toys. And the other blonde just sent Kuroobi flying through the first floor of Arlong Park. Ever since the battle started I've had this growing feeling of hope welling up inside of me."

"Then get me outta here and I'll beat up Arlong," Luffy offered.

"I'll see what I can do," Nojiko replied. "My turn, Genzo." She relieved him of the hammer and dove into the water.

 **Splash!**

"Listen kid," Genzo said as he took Nojiko's vacated spot and held Luffy's head above the surface. "It's not really my place to say this… but if we all live you should probably warn the blonde with rifle that Nojiko has her sights set on him. If that girl turned out even half as shameless as the woman who raised her… your blonde friend might be in trouble."

"Sabo's got his rifle," Luffy replied. "He'll be fine."

"Right…" Genzo sighed, "Don't say I didn't warn you."

* * *

"I'll show you the gap between the strength of our species," Arlong resolved as he scooped a webbed handful of water out of Arlong Park, "one that no training can close. A mere handful of water is all it'll take to defeat you pests."

"HEADS UP!" Sabo yelled as he quickly tucked Bonnie Anne into his coat.

 **SPLAT!**

The water hit them and Sabo, Zoro and Sanji were all blasted backwards like they'd been shot.

"Am I dreaming?" Dr. Nako wondered. "Those guy made Arlong's officers look like amateurs but he sent them all flying just by splashing them with some water.

"Crap…" Sanji cursed. "That was like getting shot." He looked over at Sabo, "No offense."

 **Click!**

"None taken," Sabo replied on Bonnie's behalf. His coat had kept the rifle from getting wet. "This guy's on a completely different level from those other chumps. But on the plus side… he washed most of trumpet-lips' blood off my coat."

"Cook… what did you mean when you said Luffy was 'mostly' okay?" Zoro asked.

"The pinwheel guy was down there," Sanji recounted. "He and someone else have Luffy's head stretched up above the water. So he's breathing. But his feet are still trapped in the rock."

"Can you break it?" Sabo asked.

"One good kick should do it," Sanji told him.

"Alright, we'll buy you some time," Sabo said. "Get going."

"So you're still thirsty for more?" Arlong taunted as the three Straw Hats got to their feet. "By the end of this I'll make sure that you all come to grips with your inferiority. Only then will I finally kill you."

"I'LL SMACK THAT SMUG LOOK RIGHT OFF YOUR FACE!" Sabo yelled as he pulled Bonnie out of his coat and charged at Arlong.

"Save some for me!" Zoro called out as he readied his swords and charged after Sabo.

Sanji launched himself to the side and dove into the water.

 **Splash!**

"KNOCKBACK!" Sabo shouted as he swung his rifle at Arlong's face.

 **Whap!**

Arlong caught the rifle in his webbed hand and used the hold on the rifle to hoist Sabo off of his feet, swing him around and slam him into the incoming Zoro.

 **WHAM!**

Zoro went flying backwards while Arlong turned and threw Sabo through one of the supporting columns under the first floor Arlong Park.

 **KROOM!**

Sabo smashed through the column which caused the damaged roof to cave and fall after him.

 **Thud!**

Sabo hit the ground and Bonnie Anne jammed handle-first onto the ground next to him and fired.

 **KER-CHOW!**

Bonnie Anne's last bullet shot straight up and blasted a hole through the falling rubble.

 **KROOOM!**

"Phew," Sabo sighed as he laid inside a ring of rubble with his girlfriend next to him. "Thanks, Bonnie. That was great shot… as usual."

" **ARLONG!"** Everyone turned to see that Nami had finally arrived. "I CAME TO KILL YOU!"

"Kill me?" Arlong repeated. "How many times have you tried to kill me over the years? I CAN'T BE KILLED! ESPECIALLY BY YOU INFERIOR HUMANS!"

"I'm not trying to kill you," Sabo admitted as he snapped Bonnie closed and stood back up. "I'm just keeping you busy."

"Should I be concerned that you've got blood splattered all over you?" Nami asked.

"Nah, none of its mine," Sabo reassured her. "There was a lot more but Saw-Tooth was nice enough to wash some of it off."

Arlong glared at Sabo then turn to Nami. "Nami, why don't you tell your stupid friend here what happened to the last human that pointed a gun at my face." Nami paled. "I bit straight through the barrel then killed her moments later."

Sabo's eyes took on a dark edge. **"Try that with Bonnie and I'll blow your brains out."**

Arlong recoiled slightly at the sheer venom in Sabo's tone.

"I'm not scared of a puny human!" Arlong growled. "Nami, I'm about to kill everyone here… except you, of course. But if you agree to voluntarily rejoin my crew… I'll spare the lives of your little mob there. But not these guys. They've pissed me off too much. What do you say? Are you with me… or them?"

"That's cruel making Nami decide!" a villager complained.

" _If I say I'm with Luffy then everyone will be killed,"_ Nami thought to herself. _"But if say I'm with Arlong I can save all the villagers. A single word from me can determine their fate."_

" _OF COURSE I'LL HELP YOU!"_

" _They're fighting for me…"_ Nami realized as she clutched the brim of Luffy's signature straw hat. " _I have to believe in them."_

Nami turned around to face her neighbors. "I'm sorry everyone. BUT FIGHT AND DIE WITH ME!"

"ALRIGHT!" Everyone cheered.

* * *

Luffy's face suddenly stretched into a wide grin.

"What's with you?" Genzo asked.

"Don't know," Luffy admitted, "But for some reason I really, _really_ wanna kick Arlong's ass now."

* * *

"I… am sick… of you… THROWING BLONDES AT ME!" Zoro yelled as he charged at Arlong.

Arlong leaned forward and once again blocked Zoro's strike with his dagger-like nose.

"That's not gonna work!" Arlong growled. He shot up his leg and drove his knee into Zoro's stomach.

 **WHAM!**

Zoro coughed up blood as he was sent flying backwards and bowled over Johnny and Yosaku.

 **KER-CHOW!**

"NEITHER IS THAT!" Arlong shouted as he smacked the bullet out of the way.

 **WHAK!**

" **ROTTEN EGG STAR!"**

Arlong raised his hand and an egg splattered over it.

 **SPLAT!**

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?" Arlong roared.

"SABRO! I'VE GOT YOUR BACK!" Usopp called out from on the wall… twenty feet away.

"Thanks Usopp," Sabo replied.

"Usopp-bro?" Johnny and Yosaku chorused as they slid out from under Zoro.

"Usopp?" Nami asked as he looked up to see the sniper sitting on the top of the wall nearby.

"Hey Nami!" Usopp greeted her. "You should've seen me! I beat three fishmen all by myself!"

"THE ONLY REASON ANY OF YOU HUMANS ARE STILL ALIVE IS BECAUSE I HAVEN'T STARTED FIGHTING SERIOUSLY YET!"

"The only reason _you're_ still alive is because my brother called dibs on kicking your ass," Sabo retorted.

"Your brother?" Arlong repeated. "I DROWNED HIS RUBBER ASS!"

"Yeah… not quite," Sabo replied, "Where do you think our Ship's Cook went? Luffy's gonna be back in action any second now and he'll break that big nose of yours."

" **NYOO!"** Hachi staggered back up. "I won't let you succeed!"

"Octopus!" Zoro grumbled from on the ground.

"I'LL STOP THE PIRATE IN THE WATER!" Hachi ran for the water way.

"PARTING SHOT!"

 **KER-CHOW!**

Hachi dropped to the ground.

"Hah, now I'm three-for-three," Sabo boasted. "I've tagged all of your officers."

"YOU LITTLE BASTARD!" Arlong hollered as he charged at Sabo.

Sabo quickly raised his rifle and fired. "OVERWATCH! BURST FIRE!"

 **KER-CHOW! KER-CHOW!**

 **WHA-WHAP!**

Arlong stopped and revealed that he'd caught both bullets in his mouth.

 **CRUNCH!**

Arlong bit through the magnum rounds and spat them out. "PTOI! USELESS!"

* * *

Sanji had a wide grin on his face as he swam up to Nojiko. He pointed to himself then down at the rock.

Nojiko nodded and moved out of the way. Sanji landed on the stone slab and raised his leg overhead then brought it down.

 **THWHAM!**

The rock shattered and released Luffy's legs which snapped back up towards their owner.

 **WOING!**

* * *

"HUH?" Genzo grunted as Luffy went shooting up into the air over his head.

" **IIIIIIII'M BAAAAAAAAAAAACK!"**

* * *

" **IIIIIIII'M BAAAAAAAAAAAACK!"**

"LUFFY/LUFFY-BRO!" Nami, Usopp, Johnny and Yosaku all cheered.

"DAMN IT!" Arlong snarled. "The rubber brat's back!" He glared at Sabo. "I'LL KILL YOU FIRST, TOP HAT!"

 **SHOOM!**

Arlong launched himself at Sabo. Sabo ran to meet him but then drove Bonnie Anne's nozzle into the ground and vaulted over the charging fishman.

 **SKISH!**

"MISSED ME, FISH-FACE!" Sabo called out as he landed behind Arlong.

 **WHA-WHAP!**

Two rubber arms shot down out of the sky and grabbed Sabo's shoulders. **"SAABOOO! SWIIITCH!"**

"Hey Arlong!" Sabo called out before he raised his hand and flipped him the bird. "Now you're toast."

 **WOOOOOOIIIIING!**

Sabo was yanked off the ground and went flying one way while Luffy shot passed him going the other.

 **WHAP!**

"Huh?" Arlong grunted as Luffy shot his arms down and grabbed his shoulders.

"GUUUUM… GUUUUM… BEEEEELL!" Luffy snapped his head forward and rammed it into Arlong's.

 **DONG!**

Arlong went flying backwards and Luffy whipped his leg around, "GUUUM… GUUUM… WHIIIIIP!"

 **THWHAM!**

Luffy's foot hooked around Arlong and sent the surprised shark fishman flying back towards Luffy. Luffy shot his arm out behind him then snapped it forward. "GUUUM… GUUUM… BUUULLLLLEEEEEET!"

 **WHAM!**

Luffy slammed his fist into Arlong's stomach and the fishman lurched backwards as he went flying again. Luffy stayed on him and let fly a rapid flurry of punches. "GUUUM… GUUUM… GATLING!"

 **POW-POW-POW-POW-POW!**

Arlong went flying and slammed into the front of Arlong Park.

 **THUD!**

* * *

"I'll need your help with this one, Bonnie," Sabo said as he flew through the air and pointed his rifle behind him and pulled the trigger.

 **KER-CHOW!**

The recoil from shooting the rifle behind him caused Sabo's flying speed to cut in half and now he sailed through air in a slow drift.

"And one more for the landing," Sabo said as he glanced down at the front gate of Arlong Park as he started to pass over it. He pointed his rifle up over his head and fired the last bullet.

 **KER-CHOW!**

This time the rifle's recoil sent Sabo shooting downward. He curled his legs in and braced for impact.

 **THUD!**

Sabo landed right in front of a startled Genzo who let you a yelp, "Whoa!"

"And he sticks the landing!" Sabo exclaimed before he planted a quick kiss on his girlfriend's nozzle. "Mwa, thanks again, Bonnie."

* * *

"Was that it?" Arlong asked as he sat up.

"IT DIDN'T WORK!" Johnny and Yosaku yelped.

"Nah, those were just my warm up exercises," Luffy informed him.

"So they managed to save you," Arlong remarked. "With the mood I'm in… you're gonna wish that you _did_ drown. Now you're going to be the target of my anger at my fishman brothers losing to a bunch of primitive monkeys!"

"It's not my problem that your brothers are weak," Luffy replied. "But I'll still kick your ass anyway."

* * *

 **Splash!**

Nojiko and Sanji broke the surface by the front gateway into Arlong Park. Sabo offered his hand to Nojiko who happily took it and allowed him to pull her out of the water then immediately stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug.

"Thank you…" Nojiko whispered. "Is this blood yours or Choo's?"

"His," Sabo stated. "He shot a cannonball-sized bubble of blood at me and it burst all over."

"I guess it's good that I'm soaking wet then," Nojiko reasoned. "I'll wipe it off for you." She may or may not have used wiping the blood off as an excuse to fondle the muscular blonde pirate.

"I should've gotten out first," Sanji grumbled as he climbed out of the water. He nodded at Sabo, "So I take it she's the pretty girl that you promised you'd handle the fishman."

Nojiko grinned and swatted Sabo's chest, "Charmer."

"Yeah, this is Nami's sister Nojiko," Sabo introduced her to Sanji. "Thanks for saving my brother, angel."

Nojiko beamed when she finally stepped away from Sabo, "No problem, Magic Djinn."

"Saw this coming…" Genzo muttered.

"Love is a cruel mistress," Sanji sighed to himself as he lit up a cigarette then turned to the battle. "So… if Luffy loses we all die."

"Didn't you learn anything watching him face Don Krieg?" Sabo asked as he stepped through the entrance. "Nobody can take a beating like Luffy." Sabo casually sat down against the wall. "Ace and I used to kick his ass a hundred times a day when we were kids. But he always bounced back."

"You beat up your brother?" Nojiko asked as she sat down beside him. She looked down and saw that Sabo's hand was occupied holding up Bonnie Anne so she grabbed the other side of the rifle and used her hold on the gun barrel to intertwine her fingers with Sabo's.

"Of course," Sabo replied. "Getting your ass kicked toughens you up and builds character." He looked down at Nojiko's hand then eyed his rifle.

Bonnie Anne was notably silent.

"Zeff used to kick the crap outta me," Sanji admitted as he sat down on Sabo's other side.

"Ace used his fists… I used a pipe," Sabo recounted.

"You beat your brother _with a pipe_?" Genzo clarified as he sat down on Nojiko's other side.

"And he always bounced back," Sabo insisted.

"Actually the old guy has a point," Sanji realized. "You beat your brother a hundred times a day … using a metal pipe. Maybe now I know the source of his brain damage."

"HEY! He was like that before I met him!" Sabo defended himself. "And for your information I only beat him with a pipe fifty times a day."

"You're quite the character…" Nojiko noted as she nudged Sabo's arm with hers and skillfully steered the conversation way from Sabo being the partially responsible for Luffy's… Luffy-ness, "Who kicked your ass?"

"Ace and I usually had a pretty even split between us for our fifty fights a day," Sabo recalled. "So we beat each other up. And when Luffy's Grandpa showed up he'd kick all three of our asses at once. But the point is… short of throwing him in the water again… there's nothing Arlong can do that'll be able keep Luffy down. He _always_ bounces back."

* * *

"Do you know what the difference is between you and me?" Arlong asked Luffy.

"Our noses?" Luffy suggested. "Pointy teeth? Webbed hands?"

"Is he joking?" Yosaku wondered.

"IT'S OUR SPECIES!" Arlong roared as he lunged at Luffy and snapped his sharp shark teeth.

 **CHOMP!**

"Wah!" Luffy yelped as he back pedaled to avoid Arlong's snapping jaws.

 **WHAP!**

Arlong finally caught Luffy by the throat and pinned him back against the column. "Gotcha!"

Arlong chomped at Luffy again but Luffy quickly grabbed his ear and yanked his head out of the way.

 **CHOMP!**

Arlong ended up biting down on the support column and then shattered the stone pillar with his teeth while Luffy slipped away.

 **KRESH!**

"WHOA!" Johnny and Yosaku yelped, "HE SMASHED THAT COLUMN WITH ONLY HIS TEETH!"

"If Arlong had actually bit him… there wouldn't be just a minor bite mark," Sanji realized as he stared across the waterway. "He would've pulverized his bones."

"And Luffy would've still kept going," Sabo insisted.

"Do you see how pathetic you are?" Arlong asked as he turned to Luffy. "Fishmen are gifted with superior strength from birth. That's why we're the Lords of Creation and you're just a weak, pathetic human-insect."

Luffy turned and smashed his fist through a nearby chunk of stone.

 **KRESH!**

"I don't need to use my teeth to smash stone," he retorted.

"Whoa! He's got him there!" Yosaku exclaimed.

"GO LUFFY-BRO!" Johnny cheered.

"YOU'RE STILL A PATHETIC RACE!" Arlong argued. "WHAT CAN YOU DO!? YOU CAN'T EVEN SAVE YOURSELF FROM DROWNING!"

"It's because I can't do those things that I need all the help I can get," Luffy confessed as he reached down and picked up two swords that had been dropped by some fishmen. "Shishishishi!"

"Does he even know how to use a sword?" Sanji asked.

"Like I'd let him waste his time on an ineffective skill," Sabo scoffed.

Zoro sat up, "I suddenly have a very strong urge to kick Sabo's ass."

Luffy rushed at Arlong and swung the two swords around wildly.

 **SWISH! SWISH! SWISH!**

Arlong weaved from side to side and easily managed to avoid Luffy's untrained swings. "You're just swinging those around randomly!"

 **KLAK!**

One of Luffy's swings connected with Arlong's nose but he twisted his head and sent the sword flying out of Luffy's clumsy grip.

 **WHING!**

"I don't have time to play around with you!" Arlong growled at Luffy swung the other sword at him. But Arlong caught the blade in his teeth and snapped the steel with his teeth.

 **KRACK!**

"ENOUGH OF YOUR GAMES!" Arlong snarled as he spat out the broken sword.

Luffy spun around and swung his fist up into Arlong's jaw for a big uppercut.

 **KA-POW!**

Arlong bent backwards and his shark teeth were driven together then shattered from the impact.

 **Krek-krek-KRESH!**

"HE BROKE ARLONG'S TEETH!" Usopp exclaimed.

"I don't know how to use a sword, dummy," Luffy exclaimed. That was Zoro's thing. "And I'm clueless when it comes to navigating," That's why he needed Nami. "I suck at nego-negotiating." He had his brother for that. "I can't shoot. I can't cook. I can't even lie!" He also knew nothing about medicine, could barely read, broke everything he touched and couldn't do anything artistic like draw or play an instrument.

"Hey! I thought I was the shooter!" Usopp objected.

"Nope that's Bonnie," Luffy corrected him. "I'd be hopeless if I didn't have people to help me."

"Shahahahahaha!" Arlong laughed, "You're refreshingly honest about your own weakness. But if you're such an incompetent buffoon… why would your crew try so hard to save your worthless life? You're the sorriest excuse for a pirate that I've ever seen! JUST WHAT CAN YOU DO?"

" **I can beat you,"** Luffy answered with a determined glint in his eyes.

Everyone cheered and offered their support before the battle began again.

Arlong used his ability as a shark fishman to regrow his teeth then produced two additional sets and used them as weapons to attack Luffy. But weathered the flurry of bites and even used Arlong's tooth-hold on his arm to slam the shark fishman into the ground.

Next Arlong tried to use his aquatic advantage from being a fishman and shot at Luffy out of the water like a torpedo. The first time he connected but as Arlong continued to shoot around Arlong Park like a high speed missile Luffy managed to avoid the attacks and then eventually used his rubber powers to counter them.

"SHARK ON DARTS!"

"GUM… GUM… NET!" Luffy caught the speeding shark fishman in midair with web made out of his rubber fingers. Then shot his feet down and drove them into Arlong, "GUM… GUM… SPEAR!"

 **THWHAM!**

Arlong was driven into the ground and was left lying in a crater.

"Is he dead?" Luffy wondered as he stared down at Arlong.

Arlong's eyes flickered open. They had the look of a shark about to go berserk.

"I've never seen his eyes like that!" Nami gasped. Across the waterway, Nojiko's hold on a certain rifle and a certain pirate's hand tightened considerably.

"HOW DARE YOU!" Arlong hollered as he grabbed Luffy and flung him into the wall. Arlong surged after Luffy and swung his fist at Luffy.

 **CRUNCH!**

Luffy managed to dodge and Arlong ended up driving his fist through the front wall of Arlong Park.

Unfortunately for Luffy, the ground floor of Arlong Park was the weapon room. Arlong had smashed his webbed fist straight through the wall and grabbed the handle of his personal sword.

 **KRESH!**

Arlong ripped his sword out through the wall and everyone gasped in shock.

"IT'S KIRIBACHI!" Nami yelped. The massive sword was nearly as tall as Arlong with a long saw-like serrated blade that looked like shark teeth.

Luffy had managed to stretch his arm up and was dangling from the second floor roof that was still heavily damaged from Sabo's fight with Choo.

"RAAAH!" Arlong snarled as he launched himself after Luffy with a front flip and swung his saw blade around over his head like a giant cleaver.

 **CHUNK!**

"WHOA!" Luffy yelped as he avoided the strike and scrambled up higher.

 **CHUNK! CHUNK!**

"Arlong's relentless!" Yosaku exclaimed.

"He's chased Luffy-bro all the way up to the top floor!"

Luffy quickly dove through a window on the fourth floor.

"Luffy escaped inside!" Usopp pointed out. "It looks like it was the left window on the top floor. "

"The chart room…" Nami whispered.

* * *

"What room is this?" Luffy asked. He sat down on the floor and stared around him at the countless sheets and rolls of paper the line the walls, filled bookcases and crammed chests. "There's paper everywhere." But he could also sense a tremendous amount of sadness in this room.

"Those aren't just sheets of paper," Arlong corrected Luffy. "Those are sea charts. They're the results of Nami's hard work over the last eight years."

"Nami's room…" Luffy repeated as he reached out and snagged a feathered pen off of the desh.

"You'd never find better charts than these even if you searched the entire world," Arlong boasted. "That Nami's a genius. Fishmen are the best at collecting undersea data but it's worthless without a skilled cartographer to interpret it. That's where Nami comes in."

"There's blood on this pen…" Luffy noted as he stared at the dried blood stains that were on the pen. Just that was enough to tell him how much Nami had suffered in this room.

"There's nothing worse than wasting your God-given talent," Arlong continued a he brought his saw blade around and held it at Luffy's throat with two of the jagged blades going around Luffy's neck. "That girl's talents are wasted on a pathetic little cry like yours. A sorry excuse for a pirate like you could never use that girl like I do!"

 **Whap!**

Luffy reached up and grabbed the jagged blade that was pointed at his throat.

Arlong tried to swing his sword to take Luffy's head off but it wouldn't budge. _"Kiribachi! Why can't I move it?"_ Arlong struggled with all his fishman strength but he couldn't move his blade even an inch.

 **KRECK!**

Luffy's bare fingers pierced through the steel blade as he tightened his grip and glared up at Arlong.

" **USE?"**

* * *

 **KRASH!**

Everyone outside Arlong Park looked up in surprise as something large crashed through the wall.

"What's that? A desk?"

"I thought it was Arlong…"

"Let me borrow Bonnie," Nojiko requested as she glared at the desk as it landed in the water.

Sabo released his rifle and held out a handful of bullets. Nojiko quickly loaded the rifle, aimed and fired.

 **KER-CHOW!**

A magnum round shattered wood as it tore through the desk. Sabo stood up and caught Nojiko when she was thrown backwards from Bonnie's recoil then braced her from behind as she fired again.

 **KER-CHOW!**

The second high caliber magnum round ripped the heavily damaged desk to shreds.

"I…" Nami gasped. Not just from seeing her old desk go flying out of the room but seeing it blown to smithereens by her sister as she wielded a high powered rifle. "Luffy…"

* * *

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?" Arlong roared at Luffy.

Luffy didn't respond. Instead he turned and shot his leg out into the bookcase and smashed it straight through the wall.

 **KRASH!**

* * *

"Aim slightly below it," Sabo advised. "Bonnie'll do the rest."

 **KER-CHOW! KER-CHOW!**

The bookcase didn't even reach the ground before it was ripped apart by two consecutive rounds.

 **KRASH!**

Next a chest stuffed with maps came flying out.

 **KER-CHOW! KER-CHOW!**

"RELOAD!" Nojiko called out as he held Bonnie over her shoulder.

"Holy crap..." Sabo whispered as he stared wide-eyed at Nojiko. His cheeks were flushed bright red as he pulled out six more bullets and slipped them into Bonnie Anne just in time for Nojiko to blast Nami's chair.

 **KER-CHOW!**

* * *

"DAMN YOU!" Arlong yelled. "THOSE CHARTS TOOK NAMI EIGHT YEARS TO DRAW!"

He swung Kiribachi at Luffy.

 **SWISH!**

Luffy moved and Arlong ended up cleaving the new maps that were hanging from a string.

Luffy spun passed Arlong and smashed another chest out of the room.

 **KRASH!**

* * *

"Luffy… thank you…" Nami whispered as she watched the furniture that filled her 'prison' and the charts she'd slaved away on go flying out of the room and then get blasted to pieces by her sister.

"Phew..." Nojiko sighed as she handed Bonnie Anne back to Sabo. "That was therapeutic."

"Yeah... and the single hottest thing I've ever seen," Sabo blurted out.

A wide smirk spread across Nojiko's face. "Keep talking like that and see what happens," she warned him.

"Hey… I think he finally stopped," Usopp realized.

"That must be some fight going on up there," Yosaku remarked.

"Is Luffy-bro okay?" Johnny wondered.

* * *

"YOU WENT TOO FAR!" Arlong growled from where his teeth were embedded in Luffy's shoulder next to his neck.

"I don't know anything about fishmen…" Luffy admitted. "I can't even imagine how much Nami suffered in this room. But I finally figured out how I can help her. This room is the source of her suffering… so I'm gonna destroy it. I'm gonna make sure there's nothing left to make her sad."

 **KREK!**

Arlong's long jagged nose which he'd shown was a strong as a sword snapped in Luffy's hand as he grabbed it and used it as a handhold to wrench Arlong off of him.

"YOU BASTARD!" Arlong snarled as he clutched at his broken nose which was now bent to the side.

"GUUUUM… GUUUUM…" Luffy stretched his leg up over his head then smashed his foot through the ceiling as he continued to stretch it up, up, up into the sky.

"ARLONG PARK COULD NEVER BE DESTROYED BY AN INFERIOR HUMAN PUNK LIKE YOU!" He snapped his broken nose back into place and shot at Luffy like a torpedo. But his time he did it with his mouth wide open while spinning like a high-speed drill. "SHARK ON TOOTH!"

"AAAAAXEEEEEEEE!" Luffy yelled as he snapped his foot back down.

 **SLISH-SLISH!**

Arlong's spinning teeth shredded Luffy's skin as he plowed into Luffy chest. But then Luffy's foot came down and smashed into his back.

 **THWHAM!**

Luffy's attack hit Arlong so hard that the saw shark fishman was smashed through the floor.

 **KRASH!**

And then he kept going and smashed Arlong down through the other three floor below them.

 **KRASH! KRASH! KRASH!**

Arlong was left lying prone and unconscious at the bottom of Arlong Park.

 **Krek-krek-krek…**

Arlong Park started shaking and the wall started cracking. The building had already sustained a lot of damage from the previous battles but it couldn't handle Arlong being driven straight down through it.

"IT'S COLLAPSING!" Usopp shrieked. "LET'S GET OUTTA HERE!"

"NO! LUFFY'S STILL IN HERE!" Nami yelled.

"WE'VE GOTTA MOVE OR IT'LL COME DOWN ON TOP OF US!"

"Heads up!" Sabo called out as he pulled Nojiko back around the outer wall. Sanji and Genzo scrambled out after them.

 **"Nyuu..."** Hachi groaned as he dragged his limp body forward and dropped into the waterway to avoid being crushed by the falling building.

Everyone watched as Arlong Park crumbled and collapsed.

 **KA-BOOOOOOSSSH!**

"LUUUFFYYYYYY!" Nami screamed as the rubber pirate was buried in the building he'd destroyed.

The dust finally settled and revealed that Arlong Park had been reduced to rubble.

"Do you think either of them are still alive?" someone asked.

"Luffy…" Nami whimpered.

 **KRECK!**

A large chunk of rubble toppled over and Luffy climbed out of the debris. He stood on top of the remains of Arlong Park, took a deep breath and shouted, "NAAAAMIII! ARE YOU MY NAKAMA?"

Nami froze as it finally sank in. Luffy had won. Arlong was finished! She was free. She could do whatever she wanted now! She could set sail and draw her map of the world! She could rejoin the Straw Hats. And the best part was that Luffy was giving her the choice.

Nami smiled as she wiped her eyes. "Yeah…"

"Wah!" Sabo yelped as Nojiko threw herself at him and hugged him with everything she had.

"Thank you!" Nojiko squealed.

"Lucky bastard," Sanji grumbled, "I need to get a rifle."

" **HOLD EVERYTHING!"**

Everyone turned to see Commodore Purin Purin standing with a squad of marines.

"The Marines?"

" _Now_ they show up?"

"What happened here?" Purin Purin inquired.

"Arlong Park has fallen!"

"This island is saved!"

"I see," the marine officer said. "And who is responsible for this?"

"I am," Luffy stated as he walked over. "I'm Monkey D. Luffy and I beat Arlong."

Nami reached out and placed Luffy's straw hat back on his head.

"Oh, you're _Straw Hat_ ," Purin Purin realized, "You're the pirate that defeated Buggy the Clown and Kuro of a Thousand Plans."

"And I beat Don Krieg yesterday," Luffy added.

"Luffy, don't say anything to incriminate yourself!" Sabo advised as he ran over. "I wouldn't put it passed the Marines to try and arrest you for saving the island."

"Don't even think about it…" someone in the Cocoyashi mob growled. "These pirates are heroes!"

"You wanna arrest the Captain... then you've gotta go through us," Zoro warned the Marines as he staggered back up. Usopp hid behind the swordsman while Sanji came over and stood on Luffy and Sabo's other side. Nami folded her arms under her chest as she took a step closer to her crew.

"Really there's only one thing to do in a situation like this," Commodore Purin Purin admitted. He dropped to his knees and bowed to the Straw Hat Pirates. "Thank you. Thank you for serving justice where the marines had failed all these years. Thank you for saving this island."

"All in a day's work," Zoro stated.

"Yeah, that's our thing," Sabo added, "We beat the crew, destroy their ship and Luffy takes out the Captain." Sabo's eyes widened in alarm. "GAH! We forgot to destroy their ship!"

"Actually… the fishman shipwright that I fought said they tore apart Arlong's ship to make Arlong Park," Usopp explained. "So when Luffy destroyed Arlong Park he destroyed their ship too."

"YES!" Sabo cheered. "The tradition continues!"

Purin Purin glanced at Sabo's rifle. "And would _you_ care to explain why I found Captain Nezumi lying dead in Cocoyashi Village? It appears as though his fatal injuries came from a high powered rifle."

"He was working for Arlong," Sabo stated. "If you marines had actually bothered to verify his reports and discovered his corruption then you could have sorted out the problem at your own discretion. But when I encountered him that rat and his men were threatening to shoot a civilian and were attempting to steal some money without a warrant."

"And you people call pirates the lowlifes of the sea," Nami grumbled, "Arlong paid off those marines to steal my village's only hope of escaping Arlong's control."

"Those sound like criminal offenses to me," Sabo pointed out. "And I wasn't going to let that stand. If you have a problem with what happened when it took the matters into my own hands then you should have stopped him yourself."

"Killing a marine is a capital offense," Commodore Purin Purin stated. "But if what you say is true then Nezumi was clearly no marine." The Commodore addressed his men, "Everyone stand down."

"So you're letting us go?" Luffy asked.

"I'm letting you go," the Commodore confirmed. "All of you. But the least I can do now is clean up the mess and take Arlong and his crew into custody. I'll ensure that you receive the proper credit and a reward for your actions here today."

The marines headed into Arlong Park to clean up after the battle and the civilians let out a loud cheer.

"YAAAAHOOOO! ALRONG'S GONE!"

The Cocoyashi Mob ran off with one of the members waving Arlong's fallen flag.

"LET'S TELL EVERYONE ON THE ISLAND! ARLONG PARK HAS FINALLY FALLEN!"

* * *

" _It's finally over Bellemere,"_ Nami told her mother as she sat by a familiar grave overlooking the sea. Genzo and Nojiko were behind her. _"It took eight years but at long last everyone's free."_

"Hey Genzo, Nojiko, do you think Bellemere would've tried to stop me from becoming a pirate if she was still alive?" Nami asked.

"She was a former marine!" Genzo insisted. "Why would she allow her precious daughter to become—"

"No, she wouldn't," Nojiko cut him off. "But if she tried to stop you… would you have listened?"

"Nope! Of course not!" Nami replied as she turned and stuck her tongue.

"Hey, speaking of pirates…" Nojiko said, "Are you into any members of that pirate crew of yours?"

Nami's eyes widened in alarm and she yelped, "WHAT!?"

"Oh, good grief," Genzo muttered, "Here it comes…"

"I just wanted to make sure it was okay with you before I went after one of them," Nojiko told her.

"Oh my god, you actually like Sabo!" Nami realized. "Nojiko… just… drop it. This is a bad idea. You're not his type."

"Not his type?" Nojiko questioned. "And what is that exactly? Cute with orange hair?"

"No, more like made of metal and able to shoot bullets long distances," Nami replied.

"Nami… you just described a rifle…" Genzo pointed out.

"Yeah, _that's_ his type," Nami assured her sister. "You mean he never told you about his girlfriend?"

"Top-hatted two-timing son of a bitch…" Genzo growled.

Nojiko blinked. "No. Who's that and why haven't I seen her?"

"You have," Nami told her. "This is gonna sound crazy… but he's dating his rifle."

"What?" Genzo grunted.

"Dating his rifle?" Nojiko repeated skeptically. "Look, Nami, if you want me to back off then I will. You don't have to make up farfetched stories."

"I'm not making it up!" Nami insisted. "I'm completely serious! He calls it his girlfriend and everything! He never shuts up about it. The first time we met I tried to sweet talk him and he pointed his gun at me and said his girlfriend didn't appreciate my advances and that I should apologize. Are you telling me that you spent all that time around him and he didn't mention his relationship _once_?"

"No," Nojiko answered. "I mean, he was really happy to get her back. He said she meant the world to him. But I just figured he was very enthusiastic about her. Some people care a lot about their weapons."

"Nojiko, trust me," Nami implored her sister, "Sabo is top hat over heels in love with that rifle. You don't stand a chance."

Nojiko stared at Nami then smirked, "Oh, I get it. He rejected your advances and you're trying to justify the fact that he's not into you."

"What? No!" Nami yelped. "But there was that time he claimed his rifle was prettier than me…"

Nojiko gave a condescending shake of her head. "You've always had this problem Nami. You're as subtle as a sledgehammer to the head. That's why you got caught stealing when we were kids and that's why you can't land a guy."

"Good!" Genzo chimed in.

"I've had more pressing things to worry about then landing a guy!" Nami argued. "You know what? Screw it. I tried. Do what you want Nojiko. But it's not gonna work." Nami turned and stormed off.

Nojiko folded her arms under her chest and looked thoughtful, "In love with his rifle…"

"I just know I'm going to regret asking this…" Genzo muttered before he turned to Nojiko, "But what do you plan on doing with that pirate?"

"Oh, I'm just gonna thank him," Nojiko answered then she smirked and added, "…with my body." Genzo's face went beet red and Nojiko laughed as she headed off.

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" Genzo yelled at the grave. "You see how you raised these girls? One's setting off to become a pirate and the other's become even more of a temptress than you!" Genzo sighed and shook his head fondly. "There's no doubt that they're your daughters."

* * *

"AAUUGGHH!" Zoro's pained screamed carried through Cocoyashi Village.

"There he goes again," Sabo noted as he sat on the town well with Bonnie Anne in his lap. Usopp and Sanji were sitting with him. Their various injuries from fighting the fishmen had already been treated. But Zoro still had his wound from Mihawk that was long overdue for treatment from a proper doctor.

"The doctor said those wounds would normally take two years to recover from," Usopp noted.

"And that blockhead still insists on moving around," Sanji remarked, "He's out of his mind."

"YOU FOOL!" Dr. Nako scolded Zoro in the office as he tried to stitch up the massive cut on Zoro's chest. "How could you even think that a shoddy patch job like this is proper treatment for your wounds? Don't you kids have a doctor on your ship?"

"A doctor, that's a good idea," Luffy said as he sat nearby and ate a snack. Johnny and Yosaku were in a couple of beds nearby sleeping off their injuries. "But I think we need a musician first."

"What? Why?" Dr. Nako asked.

"Pirates have gotta sing," Luffy informed him. "Everyone knows that."

Dr. Nako let out and exasperated sigh and continued his work.

"AARRGHAAAHAA!" Zoro hollered as a result.

* * *

"Commodore, are we really going to ignore the actions of those pirates?" a marine inquired back on the Seventy-Seventh Branch's Ship.

The 77th Branch had the imprisoned and still unconscious Arlong on board their vessel while a small part of the Commodore's crew was trailing behind them with the rest of Arlong's Crew on Nezumi's ship. The only fishman unaccounted for was Hachi.

"Those pirates carried out our job for us," the Commodore replied. "Because of Nezumi's lies we were made to look like corrupt rats and incompetent buffoons. Those pirates are the heroes here. I'm not going to punish them for freeing that island from Arlong's tyranny. The pirates served justice. In my eyes, that's not a crime."

"But what about the one with the top hat?" the marine persisted, "I admitted that he killed Captain Nezumi."

"If the pirate hadn't killed that rat… I would've done it myself," Purin Purin insisted. "He's a traitor that failed to perform his duties. He is as much to blame for everything that happened here as Arlong. One day those pirates will commit an offense that will bring them to the World Government's attention. But that day won't be today."

"So… no new bounties?" the marine asked.

"No new bounties," Purin Purin confirmed.

* * *

And so the celebration on the island went underway. Everyone was singing, dancing and celebrating the fall of Arlong. The island was free once more. The celebrating lasted a full day and then carried on into a second without losing any steam or showing any signs of stopping.

Cocoyashi Village had become party-central. Banquet tables had been laid out across the entire town and there was upbeat music filling the air as everyone celebrated with a joyous feast.

"I sure ate a lot," Sanji remarked as he spotted Zoro drinking in an alley between two houses and sat down across from him to have a cigarette. "It feels good to stuff yourself every once and a while."

Zoro silently nodded in agreement as he continued to down his mug.

"How're your injuries treating you?" Sanji inquired.

"Doctor said I needed to take it easy," Zoro answered. "But what does he know? I'm gonna start training again tomorrow. I can't let these injuries prevent me from being in top form."

"Right… I guess there's no helping some people," Sanji realized.

"Sanji!" Luffy exclaimed when he spotted his cook and Boatswain in the alley. "What was on that melon I saw you eating earlier?"

"Got enough meat there?" Zoro asked as he eyed the Captain's haul. Luffy had three slabs of meat in each hand and a seventh slab stuffed in his mouth.

"It was prosciutto and fresh ham," the cook informed him.

"Oh yeah?" Luffy questioned. "Where'd you get that?"

"I think someone was carrying it around on a tray," Sanji replied. "Good looking find it… the whole town is one big party."

"I'M COMING MELON-MAN!" Luffy bellowed as he charged off.

"Alright, I'm done eating," Sanji announced, "Now I'm gonna go find a girl." The love cook darted off to get his flirt on.

Nearby, Usopp stood on a stack of tables happily regaling everyone that cared to listen with the tale of his battle again the fishmen. "There were three of them! But I wasn't afraid! I was armed only with my slingshot and my wits! But I knew I had to keep fighting! BECAUSE I'M CAPTAIN USOPP!"

"Whoa! Captain Usopp's so brave!" someone exclaimed.

"He's got a flare for storytelling," Sabo remarked as he sat in a chair at the edge of the crowd with Bonnie Anne in his lap. He spotted a familiar bluenette working her way through the crowd and waved to her. "Hey Nojiko." Nojiko smiled as she made her way over to him.

"Hey there, Magic Djinn," she greeted him as she deftly plucked Bonnie Anne out of Sabo's lap then took the rifle's place while holding Bonnie Anne on her own lap. "So… if I polished your rifle another two times… would I get two more wishes?"

"Two more?" Sabo repeated. "That was kind of a one-time thing. Mainly because we were gonna beat Arlong and his crew anyway."

"That's too bad," Nojiko sighed. "'Cause there's this guy I'm kind of into… He's a cute blonde but is also a badass outlaw. I wanted to have some fun with him before he left the island and set sail… so I was hoping you could hook me up."

Sabo's eyes went wide in surprise. He looked down at Bonnie Anne then back up at Nojiko. "Um… is there any chance you're talking about Sanji? Because he's dancing right over there."

"Who?" Nojiko asked before her eyes widened in realization. "Oh, your blonde friend. Nope. Not him. C'mon don't play dumb, hot-shot."

Again, Sabo eyes darted down to Bonnie Anne then back up to Nojiko. "I… um… look Nojiko… I'm flattered but there's something I probably should have told you a while ago. I'm in a relationship."

"I see," Nojiko replied as she drummed her fingers along Bonnie Anne's barrel. "She's a really lucky girl. Do I know her?"

"You're uh… holding her," Sabo answered.

To her credit, Nojiko's reaction was only a faint smile as she looked down at the rifle in her lap. "So Nami was telling the truth. I thought that maybe you were just messing with her. It seems kind of farfetched but you're actually dating your rifle."

"I know it's strange," Sabo admitted, "But Bonnie and I care about each other. She's usually a lot more possessive of me. She must really like you… if any other girl had tried what you're doing… she would've blasted them backwards by now."

"Damn," Nojiko cursed, "Passed up for a rifle. That's gonna do some damage to my self-esteem. But…" Nojiko leaned passed Sabo and snagged a mug off of a nearby table. She sniffed it before she downed the contents.

"Okay… here it goes… all or nothing." Nojiko resolved as she tossed the mug aside and ran her hand along Sabo's cheek. "I'll make this real easy for you. I'm gonna go back to my place… I'm gonna take off _all of my clothes_ … and I'm gonna get in my bed. If you decide you want to join me in that bed… I'll show you how grateful I am for everything you've done for me and Nami. I've still got some rifle polish leftover so if you want to bring Bonnie along… we can call it a three-way."

Sabo's jaw dropped in shock. Nojiko reached out and traced her fingers along his jaw before she darted in and kissed him. She took advantage of his open mouth and slipped her tongue into the kiss.

Bonnie Anne was notably silent.

"If not…" Nojiko said when she pulled away a full five seconds later. "That'll have to hold me over." Nojiko stood up and placed Bonnie back in Sabo's lap. "But I'll be really happy if you decide to grant my second wish."

Nojiko walked off towards her house and left Sabo staring after her in complete and utter shock.

 **KER-CHOW!**

The familiar sound jarred Sabo out of his shocked state and the focus returned to his eyes. He looked down at Bonnie Anne. "She seduced _you_ first," he pointed out. "And uh… you know that blue's my favorite color."

Sabo got up and tucked Bonnie under his arm before he darted after Nojiko. Nojiko had turned to look back over her shoulder and her face lit up with a wide eager smile when she saw him coming after her.

"I uh…" Sabo said intelligently when he caught up.

Nojiko wordlessly reached out and snatched his top hat off of his head and put it on her own then leaned in and gave him a quick kiss. Nojiko pulled away then looked over at Bonnie. She took a deep breath before she grabbed the barrel of the rifle and planted another quick kiss on the side of the rifle's nozzle. Sabo's eyes widened in surprise but then Nojiko smirked at him before she grabbed his free hand and they ran off together.

* * *

Early the next morning, Genzo was standing over a familiar grave overlooking the sea.

"Bellemere… your daughters have grown up to be fine strong women," Genzo said as he poured some sake on the grave. "When I look at them it's almost like I'm seeing you again. From now on… all of us are going to live our lives to the fullest and laugh from the bottom of our hearts. Our freedom came at price… so those of us who survived have to laugh and smile until our cheeks hurt."

" **HEY! Is there any prosciutto melon here?"**

Genzo turned to find a familiar pirate in a straw hat standing behind him. Luffy still had a slab of meat jammed in his mouth.

"Oh, there's no food here," Luffy realized. "I guess I'll keep looking."

"Hold on, boy!" Genzo called after him.

"Hmm?" Luffy grunted as he turned around. He took note of Genzo and the grave. "Oh, a grave! Did somebody die?"

"Yes, a long time ago," Genzo confirmed.

"Well accept my condiments."

"That's _condolences_."

"Right, those."

"Listen kid," Genzo said, "Nami's said she plans on setting sail with you and your crew. You took down Arlong and as a result that girl is finally smiling again. But if you do _anything_ to take away her smile… I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND MURDER YOU! DO YOU UNDERSTAND!?"

Luffy nodded resolutely. "Understood."

* * *

Nami made her way into her house. She was in a great mood. Now that Arlong was gone and the island was free a huge weight had been lifted off of her. She had spent all night celebrating.

"Morning Nojiko!" Nami greeted her sister who was standing at the stove. "What're you making?"

"Tangerine sauce," Nojiko chirped.

Nami took note of her sister's appearance. Her blue hair was ruffled and she was wearing only a large white collared shirt and of course her ribbon which she never took off. Nojiko's low income as a tangerine farmer meant that Nami was used to seeing her sister wearing skimpy sleepwear so she didn't pay the outfit… or lack there-of much mind.

"Is that for breakfast?" Nami asked.

"Not exactly…" Nojiko practically sang then flashed her sister a wink. "More like dessert."

"Okay… and I thought I was in a good mood," Nami noted. She took stock of the room and spotted a familiar yellow top on the ground and a blue waistcoat was draped over a nearby chair. Nami's smile faded. "Nojiko… what did you do last night?"

"Who? Me?" Nojiko inquired. "I went and did that thing you said I couldn't do. And by 'thing' I mean a certain rifle-loving pirate."

Nami's eyes went wide and she staggered backwards in shock. "You didn't!"

"I did," Nojiko confirmed with a big grin. "Sabo just left to grab us something to eat. The tangerine sauce… well, that's for something else."

"No!" Nami gasped, "But… what about the rifle?"

"Bonnie?" Nojiko questioned with an impish smile. "She's right there."

Nami slowly turned and saw a familiar rifle lying 'innocently' on the bed. "You…" she hissed.

"Yeah, it was pretty weird," Nojiko admitted, "There was rifle polish everywhere. I'm gonna have to wash those sheets. Maybe even replace them…"

"I DID _NOT_ NEED TO KNOW THAT!" Nami shrieked. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

"Me? You said I couldn't," Nojiko defended. "I'm a grown woman with needs plus Sabo's cute and built like a—"

"NOT YOU!" Nami snapped as she whirled around and glared at Bonnie Anne, "THE BITCH IN THE RIFLE!"

"Um… Nami…" Nojiko attempted to calm her sister.

"THAT'S RIGHT! I'M ONTO YOU, YA EVIL RIFLE-DWELLING POLTERGEIST!" Nami yelled.

"Okay, Nami, you need to take a deep breath and—"

"Oh no, that bitch has had this coming for a long time!" Nami growled as she charged at the bed.

"NAMI! SHE'S STILL LOADED!"

Nami froze and jerked around to stare at Nojiko, "YOU LEFT THE BULLETS IN!?"

Nojiko pointed up and Nami looked up to see a hole that had been blown in the ceiling.

"Sabo promised he'd fix it."

"This isn't over!" Nami growled at Bonnie Anne before she turned and stormed out. "DEMON-RIFLE!"

"Bye Nami!" Nojiko called after her. She hummed to herself as she turned back to the stove. "It's nice that I had this last chance to mess with her before she left."

Nojiko casually stirred her pot of tangerine sauce before she looked over at the rifle on the bed. "You're not _actually_ possessed… are you?"

 **KER-CHOW!**

Nojiko dropped her spoon and her eyes widened in surprise. "Oh… my god… SAAAAABOOOOOO!"

* * *

"YOU KNEW!?" Nojiko exclaimed as she sat cross-legged at the head of her bed still wearing only Sabo's white collared shirt.

Sabo was seated on the side of the bed wearing his coat and pants with his 'possessed' rifle in his lap. "Of course I knew. I'm dating her."

"But…" Nojiko trailed off and massaged her forehead. "Okay… why don't you explain this whole situation so I know what I just slept with?"

"The real Bonnie Anne's trapped in there," Sabo explained. "I'm trying to find a way to get her out. The Grand Line is rumored to be a magical ocean where anything is possible. So if there's any way to get her out I'm bound to find it there."

"Does your crew know?" Nojiko asked.

"Luffy knew before I did," Sabo recounted. "I'm pretty sure Usopp's caught on. Zoro doesn't care. From what you told me about Nami's reaction… she knows. Or she's crazy. Sanji's still new and I haven't really known him long enough to let him in on it."

"But everyone thinks you're nuts!" Nojiko pointed out. "Nami certainly does!"

"That doesn't matter," Sabo said. "Bonnie's always there for me and always has my back. She's made it her mission to help me achieve my dream. So I'm gonna do everything I can for her and treat her like she's still a person."

"That's… really sweet," Nojiko remarked. She leaned in and kissed Sabo's cheek then slid over so she was seated next to him. "So… can I talk to her?"

"Sure," Sabo agreed. He fished into his pocket and pulled out a handful of bullets. "Here, put these blanks in. I doubt you want to blow any more holes in your house." Nojiko cracked Bonnie open and slipped in the blanks. "You've gotta limit yourself to yes or no questions. When she fires it means 'yes', 'wake up, you idiot' or 'get the hell off me'. A click from an intentional misfire usually means 'no' or 'screw you'. You've gotta judge it based on the situation."

"Okay," Nojiko said as she turned her attention to the rifle. "Hey Bonnie… um… are you… upset about me sleeping with your boyfriend?"

 **Click!**

"Oh, well that's good."

"Honestly, I'm starting to think she wanted us to hook up," Sabo admitted.

 **KER-CHOW!**

"So… you wanted us together," Nojiko realized. "Why? Oh wait… that's open-ended. Umm… did you do it to piss off Nami?"

 **Click! KER-CHOW!**

Nojiko looked over at Sabo, "Uh… translation?"

"No, that's not the main reason," Sabo said, "But yes, she did like pissing Nami off. My guess is that she's still a little upset about the kidnapping thing."

 **KER-CHOW!**

"Wow, you're really good at reading her," Nojiko noted.

"Years of experience," Sabo answered. "Most of our conversations are one-sided. But I try to get all I can out of her responses."

"Then let's see if we can find out her real motivation," Nojiko resolved. "Bonnie, did you like seeing Sabo naked and in action?"

 **KER-CHOW!**

Nojiko raised an eyebrow and turned to grin at Sabo. "Naughty girl. Bonnie, do you think I should show Sabo why I made that tangerine sauce?"

 **KER-CHOW!**

Nojiko handed the rifle off to Sabo then dashed over to the stove.

Sabo looked down at Bonnie. "What the heck did you get me into?" He wondered before a familiar balled-up white collared shirt hit him in the face.

* * *

Having decided to avoid her house at all costs, Nami swung by Dr. Nako's office to deal with something.

"I've successfully removed all traces of the Arlong tattoo," Dr. Nako informed Nami as she laid shirtless on a bed in his office. There was a faint scar in place of the tattoo on Nami arm. "But I'm afraid you'll always have a scar there. That's the way tattoos are… and you weren't exactly gentle when you tried to get rid of it yourself."

"That's alright," Nami said. "Here Doctor… I want to get a new tattoo to cover it up." Nami handed a slip of paper to the old doctor. "You can do that right? Nojiko told me you did hers."

"I can," Dr. Nako confirmed. "But why this symbol?"

"I'm gonna set sail with my friends," Nami told him. "But no matter where I go… I want something that'll always remind me of home. Now… if you don't mind… there's an evil spirit haunting my house… I'm gonna take a quick nap."

"Sure, go ahead."

But the girl was already asleep with a peaceful smile on her face that only came from finally being freed from her long ordeal.

* * *

"Sorry we got tangerine sauce on you, Bonnie," Sabo apologized as he sat up in the bed. Both he and Nojiko were wearing nothing but a shared sheet and Nojiko's hair ribbon between them.

 **CLICK!**

"Oh, that's what a 'screw you' sounds like," Nojiko noted as she sat up beside him. "Here, I'll clean her. I've still got one wish left." She snagged the new bottle of rifle polish that Sabo had brought back with him off of a nearby table.

"Another wish?" Sabo asked. "I'm still working off the last one."

"Oh no, you took care of that one last night, stud," Nojiko assured him. "But this one's really important."

"And beating Arlong wasn't?" Sabo countered.

"Please?"

"Fine, what do you need?"

"It's about Nami…" Nojiko told him. "She's setting sail with you. I've heard stories about how dangerous the Grand Line is. Arlong was just one monster from that ocean. Nami's dreamed about drawing a map of the entire world ever since she drew her first one as a kid. So I always knew she'd have to head to the Grand Line eventually. And… I know this is asking a lot since you and Nami don't get along that well…"

Nojiko looked down and directly addressed the rifle she was cleaning. "You especially." She looked back over at Sabo. "And I'll admit that I probably didn't help matters with that second wish. But… could you guys… look after her for me? And maybe… help her when she needs it?"

"Nami's Nakama… we would've done that anyway."

"I know… but with this dangerous adventure she's about to go on… I'd just feel a lot better if someone promised to look out for her."

Sabo reached out and cupped Nojiko's chin then leaned in and kissed her on the forehead.

"I promise to look after Nami and help her achieve her dream."

 **KER-CHOW!**

Nojiko smiled, "Thanks guys. This means the world to me. Actually…" Nojiko trailed off as she reached up and untied her hair ribbon. "I know that Nami can be hard to deal with sometimes. So I want you to take this that way you'll always remember your promise…" Nojiko carefully tied her ribbon around Bonnie's barrel then added, "…and me."

"Like we even _could_ forget you," Sabo retorted as he reached out and wrapped his arm around her.

"I'm glad I'll be leaving a lasting impression then," Nojiko replied. She glanced at Sabo's arm. "Also… before you leave… did you want to finish off that tattoo?" Nojiko reached up and traced the dark blue 'S' that was on Sabo's upper left arm with her finger. "I can take you to the guy who did mine."

"Sure," Sabo agreed as he glanced over at Bonnie Anne, "I've known what I was going to finish it with for a long time now."

* * *

After two full days of celebrating and the first half of a third it was finally time for the Straw Hat Pirates to set sail. The afternoon sun hung high overhead as the Cocoyashi Villagers gathered by the shore to wish the heroic pirates and one of their own a final farewell.

Johnny and Yosaku stood on the dock beside the Going Merry and waved to the Straw Hats.

"Farewell, Luffy-bro, Zoro-bro, Usopp-bro and Cook-bro!" Johnny called out. "We're going back to becoming bounty hunters now."

"Oh, good luck then," Zoro replied.

"We've always wanted to be bounty hunters that fought for justice," Yosaku recalled. "We learned from you guys that we need to chase our dreams with everything we have."

"I only hope that someday we can be half as strong as you are," Johnny admitted.

"Farewell brothers!" both bounty hunters exclaimed.

"Both of you take care," Nojiko said as she wrapped her arms around Sabo and his rifle for one final hug. She was still wearing Sabo's white collared shirt while Sabo was down to his blue coat, waistcoat and pants. His cravat tie hung loosely around his neck. Bonnie still had the familiar red ribbon tied around her barrel.

Nojiko gave Sabo a quick kiss on the cheek then grabbed Bonnie and planted another kiss on her nozzle. "And good luck. Let me know if you ever manage to get her out of that rifle."

"Will do," Sabo agreed.

"And… don't forget," Nojiko said as she slid her hand down to Sabo's and squeezed it around Bonnie's barrel and her ribbon.

"We won't," Sabo assured her. He held up a bag, "I've already got something that'll hopefully make Nami less angry with me… and hopefully Bonnie too."

Nojiko finally released him and Sabo leapt from the dock onto the Going Merry.

Sanji turned to Sabo, "One of these days you're going to have to tell me how you managed that."

"Managed what?" Sabo asked.

"How you managed to charm a beautiful woman like Nojiko," Sanji clarified.

"Oh that," Sabo said. "Honestly, I didn't have much to do with it. I think it was mostly Bonnie that brought us together."

"I see…" Sanji said as he turned and eyed the rifle. His eye lingered on the red ribbon tied around Bonnie's barrel. "And where exactly would I get a rifle like that then?"

Sabo smiled and shook his head, "Sanji, believe me, you could search the entire world and you'd never find another rifle like Bonnie Anne."

"So… Sabro and Bonnie are here," Usopp noted. "Where's Nami?"

"Dunno," Luffy admitted.

"Maybe she's not coming?" Zoro suggested.

"WHAT? NAMI'S NOT COMING!?" Sanji yelled. "IF NAMI-SWAN ISN'T COMING THEN I LOSE HALF MY REASON FOR JOINING THIS CREW!"

"She's coming," Luffy assured them.

" **SET SAIL NOW!"**

The Straw Hats spotted Nami running towards them.

"Alright, let's go!" Luffy announced.

"Right, I'm on it," Boatswain Zoro stated as he went to the anchor room and raised the anchor.

"Shouldn't we let her say goodbye?" Usopp asked.

"Let her do it her own way," Luffy told him.

The Going Merry pushed off from the shore as Nami ran through the crowd of protesting well-wishers. She made a long jump off of the dock and landed on the Going Merry.

"HEY! MY WALLET'S GONE!"

"YOU LITTLE THIEF!"

The thief smirked as she pulled up her shirt which caused a large collection of wallets to spill out onto the deck.

"Goodbye everybody!" Nami called out to her neighbors as Going Merry sailed off.

"GOODBYE NAMI!"

Everyone called out well wishes as the reunited Straw Hat Pirates sailed off into the horizon.

"That girl's really something," Nojiko remarked as she made her way over to Genzo.

"Oh, so the succubus finally emerges," Genzo remarked.

"Hey, we weren't holed up this entire time," Nojiko insisted. "We visited Doctor Nako this morning to see about a tattoo." Nojiko reached into her pocket and pulled out a slip of paper. "Actually… we just missed Nami. She got this tattoo to replace her one from Arlong."

"What's this… a pinwheel and a tangerine?"

"Yeah, he said she wanted it to remind her of home," Nojiko explained. She glanced at Genzo's hat. "Hey, what happened to your pinwheel?"

Genzo smiled. His pinwheel was stuck in the ground by Bellemere's grave. He'd adorned his hat with the silly pinwheel in order to get Nami to smile and laugh when she was a baby. But now that she was free from Arlong and sailing off in pursuit of her dream… it was time to retire the pinwheel.

"Oh that old thing… I won't be needing it anymore."

* * *

Once Conomi Island was out of sight, Nami turned to Sabo and glared at him.

"We need to talk," she growled as she grabbed his ear and dragged him off to the rear deck.

"How is he so lucky with women?" Sanji wondered.

"It doesn't take a genius to figure out what he and Nojiko got up to last night," Usopp pointed out. "You do realize that Nami's probably gonna scream at him, right?"

"Yes!" Sanji answered. "What I wouldn't give to be in his shoes!"

"Ero-cook," Zoro mumbled, "You've got problems."

"Hey guys, I don't get it," Luffy said. "What did Sabo do?"

"I'm not touching that one," Zoro insisted. Usopp and Sanji didn't look eager to explain either.

"Okay… look… I know that you're mad… justifiably so," Sabo said when Nami finally released his ear. "But before you start screaming… I've got something for you that'll hopefully make up for what I did."

Sabo handed his bag over to Nami.

"Is this a bribe?" Nami asked as she opened the bag and peered inside. She was greeted by numerous bundles of monetary bills. "You're giving me… money…"

"Yeah," Sabo confirmed, "It's—"

"ARE YOU TRYING TO PAY ME OFF AFTER SLEEPING WITH MY SISTER!?" Nami yelled. She jammed the bag back into his chest. "IS THAT ALL SHE'S WORTH TO YOU?"

"No!" Sabo immediately refused. "Are you implying that your sister could be bought?"

"DON'T PUT WORDS IN MY MOUTH!" Nami scolded him.

"Then how 'bout you let me say my piece before you bite my head off?" Sabo suggested.

Nami glared at him and folded her arms under her chest. "Make it quick."

"Look, what happened with Nojiko was a mutual decision between her, Bonnie and me," Sabo stated. "But it happened and there's really nothing you can do about it. The life expectancy of a pirate isn't a long one… so I'm not going to regret taking the opportunity to live my life. The best thing for us to do now is to move passed it. This is a gift… a token off good faith so we can start things off on a better ground."

"Not likely," Nami refused. "What you did is still too fresh." She decided to not mention the fact that Nojiko had asked her permission and that she had sort of given it. She hadn't counted on Sabo succumbing to her sister like any sane person would. "How would you like it if I kissed your brother?"

"Well you've never met Ace," Sabo pointed out, "And we both know that you wouldn't kiss Luffy."

Nami's eyes narrowed at the perceived challenge. "Oh… you think I'm bluffing? LUFFY! Come here!"

Sabo immediately folded and started sweating. "No! Nami don't!"

"What's up, Nami?" Luffy asked as he arrived an instant later.

"Nothing! She wants nothing!" Sabo insisted. "Go! Leave!"

"Luffy, I wanted to thank you for everything you did for me," Nami told him while watching the seemingly terrified Sabo out of the corner of her eye.

"Nami! I'm sorry!" Sabo apologized in a desperate panic. "I see your point! I never should have slept with your sister! Don't do it! Don't do it!"

"No problem, you're Nakama!" Luffy easily replied.

"And that's it!" Sabo exclaimed. "You can go now!"

"Not quite Luffy," Nami said as she reached out and grabbed his hand.

"NAMI! DON'T! I'M BEGGING YOU!" Sabo pleaded. "YOU'RE MESSING WITH POWERS THAT ARE BEYOND YOUR COMPREHENSION!"

"What's with all the shouting?" Usopp asked as he, Zoro and Sanji approached the front deck… just in time to see Nami grab the sides of Luffy's face and plant a long, hard kiss on the surprised pirate.

Luffy's eyes flew wide open in shock.

"Whoa!" Zoro and Usopp gasped in surprise.

"WHHHYYY!?" Sanji cried. The poor cook's heart broke and he collapsed to the ground in a dead faint.

"NOOOOOOO!" Sabo screamed in horror.

Nami released Luffy and the rubber man dropped to the ground stiff as a board.

"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'VE DONE!?" Sabo yelled at Nami. "Up until now… Luffy has shown absolutely _zero_ interest in the opposite sex! You could've skipped across the deck of the ship in your birthday suit and he would've laughed it off as a fun game! But now… YOU'VE KICK STARTED HIS HORMONES!"

"I don't see what the big deal is," Nami replied with a casual shrug.

"You wouldn't!" Sabo growled, "But now I've gotta deal with a Luffy that's interested in girls! I'm gonna have to give him the talk! He's gonna ask me questions! Do you have ANY IDEA how awkward and annoying that's going to be?"

"Yeah," Nami answered, "I guess this makes us even then."

Sabo sighed and rubbed his forehead then tossed the money bag back at Nami. "Just… take it. It's the twenty million berries I got from that marine with the funny hair. It's Arlong's bounty. After everything he put you through I thought you should have it. I've gotta… I'm gonna be sick…"

Nami stared down at the bag as Sabo started to stagger away.

"Sabo…" Nami called after him and grabbed his hand. Sabo turned to face her and Nami quickly wrapped him in a hug. "Thank you. And thank you for protecting Nojiko from those marines. If I had to pick someone to be with her it would be a strong, upstanding, noble guy like you."

"Don't call me a noble," Sabo requested with a hint of iron in his voice.

"My point is…" Nami said, "I forgive you for sleeping with Nojiko. Mostly because I know it was her idea… and possibly the riflegeist's. And also because she's not going to be around for you to do it again. So you and I… we're square."

Sabo nodded then his eyes widened in surprise when the thief released him and stepped back with Bonnie Anne in her hands. " _You_ on the other hand… I'm still pissed at. You've already got a boyfriend… but then you seduced my sister and dragged her into your crazy relationship. _And_ _now_ you're throwing it back in my face by wearing her ribbon."

 **CLICK! KER-CHOW!**

The rifle's recoil once again sent Nami flying backwards and the thief landed hard on her back.

 **THUD!**

"You little…" Nami growled.

"Damn it, Bonnie…" Sabo growled as he snatched his rifle back and took off running.

Nami shot back up and raced after him, "GET BACK HERE! I don't care how many bullets she's got left! I'm gonna kick that bitch's ass!"

Zoro, Usopp and a recovered Sanji watched as Nami proceeded to chase Sabo and his rifle all around the Going Merry.

"So yeah…" Zoro dead-panned, "Nami's insane now."

"Is it strange that I find Nami-swan even more attractive now that she's crazy?" Sanji asked.

"Yes, yes it is," Usopp confirmed.

"Well tough!" Sanji snapped. "I don't need to impress you bastards!"

Luffy suddenly sat up with a wide grin on his face, "Hey! That was fun!"

"Something tells me we're gonna regret that Nami did that for a long, long time," Zoro stated.

"Shows what you know, marimo," Sanji retorted, "I already am."

The other Straw Hats probably just imagined the dark cloud that hung over their head as they sailed off with their reunited crew towards their next adventure.

* * *

And that's the Brother on Board Arlong Park Arc. I'm very proud of it. But now I'm gonna take a week off to recharge and let everything sink in. I posted a chapter a week for the last 13 weeks. I think that justifies a small break. I'll be back on May **16th** to finish off the East Blue Saga with the Loguetown Arc.

 **A/N:** Sorry gang, one of my jobs is at a movie theater. Captain America: Civil War kicked my ass this weekend. I was too exhausted to do my writing like I had planned. I'm in the process of writing the new chapter now and its turning out to be longer than I expected. I'll post it next Monday so I can keep up my usual pattern. By then I should hopefully get a head start on the following chapter.

Silver signing off…


	20. News

**BROTHER ON BOARD**

 **Last chapter ended up being my most successful chapter yet (if you judge 'success' by reviews at least). So thank you to everyone that reviewed and commented. These responses are really starting to take up a large chunk of my chapters. But I love responding to you guys so there's no way I'm getting rid of them. Even if one day my review responses end up being longer than that chapter itself. (Hopefully that won't be the case.)**

zack25king - Glad you liked it. It's one of my favorite chapters so far. As for Luffy, let's just say his eyes have been opened to women in general. But you never forget your first kiss. You'll occasionally see Luffy's eyes drifting towards a certain navigator (much to Sabo's annoyance of course).

Lunapok - Wow! Really? Thanks.

pipi96 - The chances for LuNa are a lot more existent than in Canon. But for now I'm just gonna fool around with the idea of Luffy showing an interest in girl (Nami in particular) and see where it takes me.

Johnny Spectre - I didn't really see a point in bringing Nojiko along other than her being somebody's girlfriend. The way I have it she and Sabo have a 'fling' and the integrity of her character remains intact.

Guest (1) - Just because he doesn't have a bounty doesn't mean he'll be unknown. Read this chapter to see where I'm going with it. And what makes you think that Luffy and Hancock's meeting is going to go down like it did in canon? I've started with small changes to the storyline but by the time we get to that point there'll be some really big ones.

lostdog200 - I've been tinkering with ideas for what to do in the Grand Line and I _think_ I have a way that I can include some of the specials. It may take a while to get to that point so don't hold your breath. _IS_ Arlong gone? Read this chapter to find out!

DhanaRagnarok - Well in that case I should probably add a bit to my disclaimer stating that readers should keep an emergency supply of oxygen on hand just in case. I certainly don't want my story to endanger anyone's health.

BedofRoses1989 - Wow! Thanks a lot! I'm glad you like my writing style so much! Expect further delving into Bonnie's character once we get to the Grand Line. I _think_ I've come to a final decision on what I want to do with her.

PsychopathOnADiet - And it looks like Nami might be the founding member of the Anti Bonnie Anne fan club. So far the only other member is Zoro. (And maybe Choo.)

rasEnshur1KEn - I think the official shortened ship name for LuffyxNami is LuNa. We'll see if that goes anywhere. I know I lost some humor in the swap but Zoro was really too injured to be anywhere near Arlong. In this case, Sabo was healthy enough to step in and be the temporary diversion. Also, I wanted Sabo to be with Nojiko during that battle. The payoff for that was Nojiko using Bonnie to blast the furniture so I think everything worked out.

crazyrubsoff - I'd like to think that when I write my dialogue that I do a good job of writing changing expressions. I've written about people grinning, growling and going wide-eyed a lot during my dialogue. This fic sort of relies on the fact that the reader has read the manga or watched the anime. This allows me to skip over doing a highly detailed description of something everyone's already seen. The One Piece manga is nearly at 900 chapters. That's a ridiculous amount of ground to cover. So you'll have to forgive me if I try to press the fast-forward button a bit. I've seen better authors than me get overwhelmed by the daunting task of rewriting the entire series so I'm trying not to fall into that trap.

Hiezen - I needed to give Usopp an opponent since I had Sabo steal Choo which was why I switched the original fishmen out for ones with names and actual character descriptions. All we know is that Ace 'found' Bonnie in the Grand Line. We won't learn _how_ he found her or what their interaction was until Ace tells his brothers about it (or Bonnie finds a way to reveal it herself).

The Patient One - ... ... Yup.

Guest (2) - I'd add you to the Bonnie Anne fan club but I don't have a username to put on the list. As for right now, the LuffyxNami ship is for comedy purposes. Nothing serious just yet. But stay tuned to see if that changes.

Bluejay Blaze - You'd have to wonder what Ace's reaction would have been to seeing Nami kiss Luffy. Here's hoping I can have some fun with him when I finally get to Alabasta.

Mikila94 - So far Luffy knows. Usopp's always had the feeling that Bonnie wasn't _just_ a gun. Nami knows and considers Bonnie the bane of her existence. Zoro doesn't care and Sanji's starting to figure it out. Sabo and Bonnie's (and Luffy's) past will be shown... eventually. I'd say soon-ish.

Fairy of the Friz - Maybe I really should tell people to keep a supply of oxygen on hand while reading... I don't want anyone laughing themselves to death. Minor spoiler, Luffy sensed Bonnie before Sabo because of his ability to hear all living things (as shown most recently with Zunish in the Zou Arc). I have no bigger plans for Perona but I _do_ have plans for some other supporting characters. I'll see what happens when I get to that point in the story. Thriller Bark is a long, long way off.

Son of Whitebeard - More Arlong in the last scene. I even told it from his arrogant/elitist perspective.

Syluk - I'd hold off on writing fanfiction on SaBonnie since I haven't revealed the whole backstory yet. But I can't draw to save my life... I wouldn't say no to fanart if you're feeling artistically inspired. Hang in there with the Luffy/LuNa bit. Remember, most of what I do in this story is played up for laughs. Luffy having an interest in girls is one way I thought of to drive Sabo crazy. I think I've shown that I'm not one for One Piece fanon cliches so don't expect a Luffy ship to play out anywhere close to a normal relationship.

AnyMoreBrightIdeasGenius - Luffy with hormones is like a car wreck... its shocking and disturbing but for some reason you can't look away. I'm not going to spoil my plans for Bonnie but I think I've come to a decision on what I want to do with her and Sabo's characters (Devil Fruits included). Sabo's first meeting with Chopper isn't really that far off. According to my grand master plan the Drum Kingdom Arc is going to be a major turning point for Sabo's (and Bonnie's) characters.

* * *

 **News-**

"You raised the price again!" Nami complained as she reluctantly paid the News Coo for her daily newspaper. "Raise it again and I'm not paying!"

She made her way over to her lounge chair and tuned out Sanji and Luffy as they fought over her newly planted tangerine bushes. The navigator reached her chair and laid back as she got ready to read.

 **KER-CHOW!**

Nami growled and looked back over her shoulder to see Sabo, Usopp and the riflegeist by the railing.

"Pull!" Sabo called out.

Usopp lobbed a small white shell off the side of the ship.

Sabo quickly aimed his rifle and fired.

 **KER-CHOW!**

The shell shattered as it was struck by Sabo's round.

"Pull!"

 **KER-CHOW!**

"OI! Keep it down!" Zoro complained from up in the crow's nest where he'd been 'supervising' the sails. "Some of us are trying to sleep!"

"I don't complain when you do your training, sword-hoarder!" Sabo retorted.

"That's 'cause I do mine late at night when everyone's sleeping!" Zoro argued.

"Well my training's noisy," Sabo pointed out. "So I make a point to do it during the day when those of us that aren't lazy barnacles are awake."

"I'm with Zoro on this one!" Nami chimed in. "I can't read with you and that skank making a racket."

 **KER-CHOW!**

Nami lurched in her chair as a bullet tore through her paper. She whirled around and glared at Sabo.

"Wasn't me!" he insisted.

"Oh, I know exactly who it was!" Nami snarled as she directed her now murderous glare at Bonnie Anne.

The Quartermaster paled. "You know what Usopp… I think it might be your turn now."

"Good call," Usopp replied, He handed over the bucket of shells and pulled out his slingshot.

Nami shook her head and turned back to the paper. She was greeted by a picture of the destroyed remains of Arlong Park on the front page. The headline read 'East Blue Saved'.

"Oh… my God…" Nami gasped as she started to read the article.

' _Saw Tooth' Arlong is the latest of a series of notorious East Blue-based pirates to be apprehended by the Marines. Arlong and his crew of fishman pirates had been seemingly quiet since coming to the East Blue eight years ago. But it has been revealed the fishman had claimed northwest corner of the East Blue as his territory and enslaved everyone that inhabited the villages in that region. Anyone that objected to Arlong's rule was killed. But now Arlong has been defeated and faces a life sentence in a secure Marine Prison to pay for his numerous horrifying crimes._

 _Commodore Purin Purin of Marine Base Seventy-Seven is the one responsible for taking Arlong and his crew into custody. "I only wish that I could have done more," Commodore Purin Purin says, "Arlong got away with his crimes over the course of the last eight years because of misinformation that was being fed to the Marines by Captain Nezumi of Base Sixteen. Thankfully, both Nezumi and Arlong have been dealt with."_

 _Jinbe of the Seven Warlords has ties with Arlong and had this to say. "Arlong purposely kept his actions in the East Blue quiet. I do not take Arlong's actions lightly and by no means find them acceptable. If I had known what Arlong was doing I would have come and removed him myself. All I can do now I thank those that defeated him and the Marines for taking him into custody. I will strive to do better in my appointed position from now on so this does not happen again."_

 _But while Arlong was ultimately apprehended by the Marines his defeat came at the hands of an unexpected and unlikely hero: Pirate Captain 'Straw Hat' Monkey D. Luffy._

Nami's eyes went wide as the article continued. "GUYS! GUYS! WE'RE IN THE NEWS!"

The others ran over. Even Zoro looked down from the crow's nest to listen in.

"What's it say Nami?" Luffy asked. The Captain had climbed onto the lounge chair behind the Navigator and was looking over her shoulder at the newspaper.

"It's about Arlong being arrested," Nami explained as she attempted to ignore Luffy's close proximity. "The newspaper is controlled by the World Government and they actually admitted that you beat him."

"Hmm… imagine that," Sabo remarked as he sat on the railing nearby with a knowing smirk.

"What else does it say?" Usopp inquired. "Does this mean we're famous?"

"Everyone shut up and I'll read it!" Nami instructed. _"'But while Arlong was ultimately apprehended by the Marines his defeat came at the hands of an unexpected and unlikely hero: Pirate Captain 'Straw Hat' Monkey D. Luffy. The new pirate captain appeared out of nowhere a mere two weeks ago and has sailed across the East Blue on a path that's led the Straw Hat Pirates straight through the most notorious pirates in the ocean. It's almost as if the Straw Hat Pirates and the Marines are working together."_

"It sounds to me like they're trying to take credit for what we did," Sanji noted.

"Well they _did_ apprehend them," Sabo pointed out. "Maybe someone pointed out that they could rightfully claim their share of the credit if they acknowledged what happened instead of just sweeping it under the carpet."

Everyone stared at the Quartermaster. "Sabo… what did you do?"

"Just keep reading," Sabo suggested.

Nami turned back to the paper and continued where she left off. _"Another of Straw Hat's conquests is the infamous 'Pirate Admiral' Don Krieg. Krieg's underhanded tactics and fleet of fifty ships had made him the scourge of the East Blue. But an encounter with the World's Greatest Swordsman 'Hawk Eye' Mihawk in the Grand Line reduced the fleet to a mere one ship and one hundred men."_

"Wait… that guy with the funny feathered hat was the World's Greatest Swordsman?" Sabo asked.

"Good thing we didn't piss him off," Usopp remarked.

"You two, shut up and let her finish!" Zoro barked at them.

Nami rolled her eyes and continued, " _The Warlord had this to say about the incident: 'His fleet was an eyesore. So I got rid of it.' When asked to elaborate, Mihawk said 'The flagship managed to get away while I was sinking the other forty-nine ships. I decided to follow it to the East Blue so I could finish what I started. I caught up to them at a restaurant [the Ocean Going Restaurant the Baratie] and found the coward already in the midst of a battle with those Straw Hat Pirates that you mentioned. I tested one of them and found the crew up to the task of defeating what was left of Krieg's crew so I left them to it.'"_

Everyone looked up at Zoro and saw an unreadable expression on the Boatswain's face. But there was no mistaking the determined glint in the swordsman's eyes.

Nami went back to the article, "' _Straw Hat' Luffy managed to defeat Don Krieg and successfully defended the Baratie Restaurant. This was confirmed because the following day, the remains of Krieg's crew were apprehended by none other than Straw Hat's grandfather Monkey D. Garp the Legendary Marine Hero."_ Nami looked back at Luffy. _"_ Your Grandpa's a Marine?""

Luffy had gone stiff and pale.

"That's the guy we ran away from after beating Kuro," Sabo took it upon himself to explain. "He's really strong. If he caught us he could have literally lifted the Merry and thrown her across the island."

"WOW! Thank God that didn't happen!" Usopp exclaimed.

None of the Straw Hats noticed as the Going Merry gave a small heave as she let out a sigh of relief.

"So that's the guy that kicked all three of your asses when you, Luffy and your other brother were kids," Sanji realized. "Trained by a legendary marine… No wonder Luffy's still traumatized."

" _Vice Admiral Garp had this to say about the incident_ ," Nami continued, " _'I was in a bad mood that day and was really looking for a fight. Some chump with an ax on his hand had jumped me in the middle of a nap! I found a little boat stuffed with over sixty pirates but only one of 'em was in any condition to fight. One punch and that punk was gone. I think he went flying to the next island but I didn't have the time to chase him down. I took in Kreaky [Krieg] and the punks that were with him.' Garp was then informed that his grandson had been the one to defeat the Krieg Pirates. The Marine Vice Admiral did not seem pleased…"_ Nami trailed off and handed the newspaper off to Usopp. "You read the next bit. He shouts a lot."

"Oh, okay," Usopp agreed, "Eh-hem, _'WHAT? HE BEAT THOSE GUYS TOO? WHAT'S THAT BRAT DOING MAKING ME CLEAN UP HIS MESSES? FIRST THOSE CATS NOW THIS? THE NEXT TIME I SEE HIM I'LL TEACH HIM A LESSON! IF HE HAD BECOME A MARINE LIKE I TOLD HIM TO THIS WOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM!'"_

"Ew, gross!" Nami suddenly complained, "Luffy you're sweating on my back."

Everyone turned to see that Luffy was now pale, sweating and looking absolutely terrified. The Straw Hats could only wonder what kind of Garp-inflicted horror Luffy was reliving.

"Easy Luffy," Sabo reassured him. "It's a big ocean. And the Grand Line's even bigger. The chances of us running into him are really slim."

Nami snatched the newspaper back from Usopp, "Let's just finish the article. Then I'm taking a shower." Nami glared at Luffy, " _You_ get to draw the water."

"…" Luffy nodded silently. His eyes were still wide as he continued to relive the childhood trauma of having Garp 'the Fist' for a grandpa.

"' _Those cats' that Vice Admiral Garp was referring to were the infamous Black Cat Pirates. Their Captain, Kuro 'of a Thousand Plans', was believed to be dead. But that was exposed as a ruse concocted by Kuro, his First Mate 'One Two' Jango and former Marine Captain 'Axe-Hand' Morgan. Once again the Straw Hats were in the midst of the situation and had left Kuro, Jango and the remains of the Black Cat Pirates on the shore of the Gecko Islands for the Marines to take into custody."_

Nami looked up almost as if she was expecting someone to interrupt her again but when no one did she kept reading. " _Further digging has revealed that the earliest appearances of the Straw Hat Pirates saw them defeat infamous pirates Buggy 'the Clown' and 'Iron Mace' Alvida. But while the Marines were able to apprehend the crews of those pirates Buggy and Alvida still remain at large following their defeats. But this goes to show that in the span of a mere two weeks the newly formed Straw Hat Pirates have defeated every notorious pirate in the East Blue. With the assistance of the Straw Hats the Marines were able to capture a collection of rogues whose bounties total sixty-two million berries. The East Blue is now a much safer place."_

"Cool! We're heroes!" Usopp exclaimed.

"Should pirates be heroes?" Luffy wondered as he scratched his hat like a monkey.

"We're not your typical example of pirates," Sabo supplied with a small grin.

"Okay… what's with the face?" Nami demanded as she eyed Sabo suspiciously.

"Keep reading," Sabo urged her.

" _But what are these pirates up to? What are their intentions? Are they even more dangerous than the pirates they defeated? To answer these questions this reporter sat down and interviewed one of the Straw Hat Pirates. 'I'm Sabo, Quartermaster of the Straw Hat Pirates. 'Straw Hat' Luffy is my younger brother. We're not your typical example of pirates.'"_

Everyone turned to stare at Sabo. "You gave an interview?" Usopp blurted out.

"Yeah," Sabo answered. "The reporter was poking around with a camera during the first day of the celebration. We did some negotiating and I agreed to give up our claim on the bounties of Kuro and Jango if the World Government agreed not to alter my responses. So keep reading. I want to make sure they lived up to their end."

Nami went back and continued Sabo's statement. " _'Luffy and I have always been strong believers in the philosophy that with great power comes great responsibility. We've been fortunate enough to be in a position to do something about pirates that are much worse than us… and so we did it. We've had a great string of luck and have found ourselves in the right place at the right time. Alvida attacked a cruise ship we were on… so I fought her off. Buggy had a map we wanted and we had planned to negotiate with him for it. But when we found him he had taken over a town and was using the buildings for a target practice with his cannon. So we took care of him. Next we needed a ship. We arrived at the Gecko Islands and discovered Kuro posing as a butler and caught wind of his scheme to attack one of the villages. So we stayed overnight and fought off Kuro, Jango and the Black Cat Pirates. We were at the Baratie to work off damages that we'd accidentally dealt to the restaurant when Don Krieg showed up and announced that he wanted to steal it. The Head Chef and my Captain came to an agreement that if he fought off Don Krieg we'd be released from our work contracts. And that's what he did. That brings us to Arlong. A friend of ours asked us to help her… so we did. Other than fly the black flag we have yet to do anything that's actually illegal. We set sail as pirates so we could be free to pursue our dreams.'"_

"Wow, they actually kept the whole thing!" Sabo exclaimed. "Let it be known, the World Government can be bribed."

"You gave up twenty five million berries… for that?" Nami questioned.

"Never underestimate the power of positive press," Sabo told her. "There's more right?"

Nami took up the newspaper again. " _When asked what their plans are now that they've defeated all the big names in the East Blue. Quartermaster Sabo smiles and answers 'That's not really my decision. But I'll get you the man whose it is.' Sabo picks up a large slab of meat and waves it over his head. Almost as if he was summoned, Straw Hat Luffy appears and snatches the meat out of his brother's hand. 'Luffy, this guy wants to know what we plan to do next now that you've beaten Arlong'. Straw Hat grins widely and answers. 'We're heading for the Grand Line. I'm gonna be King of the Pirates!'"_

"You told them that!?" Sanji exclaimed. "Now everyone's gonna think we're dangerous… or crazy!"

"Which isn't really that far off," Sabo pointed out.

"Let me just finish this…" Nami resolved. _"Once his Captain departs, Sabo makes one last statement. 'I know the last thing that the World wants is another Pirate King. But if you had to pick one… wouldn't it be better to have a friendly Pirate King that works with the Marines to apprehend the pirates that are much worse? We don't attack passenger ships, we don't raid towns and we don't kill civilians. Each town we land in we leave a better place than when we first arrived. I think that says something about the kind of pirates that we are. Heads up, Grand Line, we're coming your way.' Will the Straw Hats become a major factor in the Grand Line? Only time will tell. For now, they're leaving the East Blue a safer place."_

"Why would the World Government agree to promote pirates?" Sanji wondered.

"Yeah, we're not working with them," Luffy pointed out.

"But they think we are," Sabo explained. "By cashing in on Arlong's bounty and acknowledging but giving up our claim to the bounties on Kuro and Jango they'll treat us more like bounty hunters. That means they won't consider us a major threat and won't send high ranking marines or assassins after us." Sabo looked up at the crow's nest, "Did the Marines give you trouble when you were a bounty hunter?"

"Just that bratty son," Zoro admitted.

"Now the Marines and the World Government know we're reasonable and can be negotiated with so they won't be expending lethal amounts of effort to try and kill us like they would with normal pirates."

"I'm all for that!" Usopp admitted.

"But we're _not_ working with them." Luffy insisted. "We're supposed to be free pirates. They don't get to tell us what to do."

"They're not telling us what to do," Sabo reassured him. "But since we keep leaving the pirates we beat for the Marines to arrest… it gives the illusion that we're working with them. The Marines get to share in the credit for our exploits, we get painted in a positive light and civilians won't be terrified when our ship docks in their town. It's an ideal situation that's a lot safer for everybody."

"There's one big problem with your publicity plan," Nami said as she turned the newspaper around to reveal a picture that had been taken of Luffy and Sabo. Luffy was grinning like a buffoon and had a slab of meat in his hand while Sabo was smirking as he stood next to him with his arm slung his arm over his brother's shoulders. "We're public figures now. People all over the world will see this article and they'll know what you two look like."

"That was always going to happen," Sabo pointed out, "But the alternative is that they'd put bounties on our heads and make the world see us as violent criminals. Luffy's potential bounty is bound to be even bigger than Arlong's. That's the kind of money that people would betray us for. This'll make things a lot safer for us. If we keep things going the way that they are the World Government won't bother coming after us until we publicly go against them."

"I'll certainly sleep better without having to worry about assassins and bounty hunters coming after us," Nami admitted.

"Same here," Usopp quickly agreed.

"Don't rest too easy," Zoro warned them, "Other pirates may see this fame as a challenge and will want to make a name for themselves at our expense."

"Forget about that!" Sanji scolded her, "The ladies love a hero!"

Luffy nodded as he surveyed his crew. "Okay. I guess we can go along with this… for now. But that stops when the Marines get in our way."

"Now we just have to wonder how the rest of the world will take this…" Sabo commented.

* * *

"Mayor!" Makino called out as she held up a newspaper in her tavern. "Have you read the news? Luffy and Sabo are famous."

"Yes…" Mayor Woop Slap answered, "I'm still… coming to terms with it. Those rascals _haven't_ embarrassed our village!"

"And look at how happy the boys are," Makino remarked.

"Put that up on that wall," the Mayor instructed. "Those are pirates to be proud of!"

* * *

"Dadan! Look! Luffy and Sabo are in the news!"

Curly Dadan was handed the morning's newspaper and scanned the article on the front page. She eyed the picture of the grinning Luffy and smirking Sabo.

A faint smile spread across the bandit clan leader's face. "Not bad, boys. Not bad."

* * *

"Stelly! it's Sabo! That brat was alive this whole time!" Outlook III exclaimed, "He's become a pirate. He could ruin all our plans. What should we do about him?"

"Ignore him," Stelly decided. "If Sabo truly wishes to associate with pirate trash then we cast him out of the family like trash. Once the World Government puts a bounty on his head he'll be known as a wanted criminal and will lose any claims to noble status. Our plans can continue as intended. Soon I'll be King."

* * *

"DAMN YOU STRAW HATS!" Buggy the Clown snarled as he balled up his newspaper and threw it at the wall of the bar he was drinking in. "I LOST EVERYTHING TO THOSE FLASHY BASTARDS!"

"We did manage to get your body back," the attractive dark-haired woman next to him pointed out. A familiar iron mace was propped against the bar next to her.

"Yes… I'm whole again thanks to you and your flashy new Devil Fruit Powers, Alvida," Buggy admitted. "I may have my body back but I lost my treasure, I lost my map, I lost my ship and I lost my crew because of those damn Straw Hats! All I've got left are those three idiots."

Buggy and Alvida looked to the side to see Mohji the Beast Tamer, Cabaji the Acrobat and Richie the Lion drinking in the corner. Yes, the lion was drinking from a mug along with the two pirates.

"One of these days I'm gonna get my revenge!" Buggy growled. "I'll pop that rubber buffoon! All I need is a flashy plan to catch him off guard…"

" **If you're looking for a plan… I might be able to help you there."**

Buggy and Alvida turned and saw three men standing in the doorway. The one who had spoken was none other than Captain Kuro. 'Ax-Hand' Morgan and 'One Two' Jango stood behind him.

All three men were wearing black and white striped prison jumpsuits and looked like they'd been through hell. Kuro's hair was a mess. His glasses were still shattered. He was walking with a limp due to a bandaged foot that still hadn't fully healed from when Zoro had stabbed a sword through it.

Jango had numerous bandages wrapped around his chest from when Usopp had shot him. His breathing was ragged and he was supporting most of his weight on a crutch.

Morgan appeared to be physically fine. But the large former Marine Captain's shoulders were slumped and he no longer held the air of command that he'd once held dear.

"You're Kuro of the Black Cat Pirates," Buggy realized. "I heard you were taken in by Garp 'the Fist'."

"My First Mate Jango's injuries at the hands of the Straw Hats were very severe," Kuro explained. "He required a great deal of medical attention just to ensure that he'd survive his wounds. It also helps that my new ally former Marine Captain Morgan has an axe replacing his arm so can never be disarmed."

"I only have it because you cut my arm off three years ago…" Morgan mumbled.

"Yes, you're welcome," Kuro replied offhandedly. "I timed it perfectly. They opened our cell door just as Garp nodded off for a nap after eating too many doughnuts. We were even able to cut down Garp as we made our escape on a lifeboat."

"He's still alive," Alvida stated. "Today's newspaper even had a quote from him. It turns out your attack only angered him. He ended up capturing Don Krieg the next day."

"That was a sneaky plan though," Buggy admitted, "Are you saying you're interested in joining up with us to get our flashy revenge on Straw Hat?"

"Like you, we are men who have lost a great deal because of those pests," Kuro stated. "My plan for a peaceful retirement went up in smoke."

"I lost my rank and my authority," Morgan admitted, "Now I'm associating with cutthroat pirates. Even my pansy of a son thinks I'm a disgrace."

"I'll… KOFF! KOFF! …I'll never dance again…" Jango wheezed.

Everyone stared at the hypnotist.

"Riiight…" Buggy said then grinned, "Welcome aboard! What's your flashy plan to murder Straw Hat?"

"Straw Hat wants to become King of the Pirates," Kuro recounted. "There's one place in the East Blue that he won't be able to resist going. We'll lie in wait there and catch Straw Hat off guard."

"That's it?" Buggy asked. "I thought you were supposed to be some flashy master planner? Your brilliant plan is to jump him at Loguetown? _I_ could've thought of that!"

"Ah, but that's merely the second stop in our journey," Kuro corrected him. "Don Krieg may be a lost cause but there is another who has lost a great deal because of the Straw Hats."

Alvida's eyes widened, "You want us to free _Arlong_? He's a fishman that hates humans."

"My association with the man who was credited for capturing and executing me has taught me that misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows," Kuro replied. "I believe he could be persuaded to join our cause for revenge. Straw Hat may have defeated us all separately… but if we all work together… he won't stand a chance."

Buggy's painted face spread into a wide grin, "Now _that's_ a flashy plan. I'm in."

"I am as well," Alvida decided. "But I want to make one thing clear with you boys… Sabo's mine."

"That can be arranged," Kuro agreed.

"LET'S DO THIS!" Buggy cheered. "STRAW HAT WON'T KNOW WHAT HIT HIM!"

* * *

Across the world in the Grand Line a News Coo swooped down to deliver a newspaper to man wearing an orange cowboy hat.

"Thanks," Portgas D. Ace said as he tossed a coin in the News Coo's money sack.

" **Coo!"** The News Coo flew off again and Ace casually sat down against a building to read his paper.

" _'East Blue Saved'_ ," Ace recited. "Well that's good news." He quickly scanned the article. "Nice going Luffy. You're already making a name for yourself. And Sabo… looks like you've managed to do the impossible and keep Luffy out of trouble." Ace smiled. "Now they're headed for the Grand Line. I'll be seeing them soon. I just need to figure out which path they'll take so I can—ZZZZZZZZZZ…"

"Mommy… why is that man sleeping under a newspaper?" a young boy asked.

"He's probably homeless, sweetie," the mother replied. "That's why it's really important for you to get a good job otherwise you'll end up a homeless bum like him."

The mother hurried her son away from Ace but there was no mistaking the proud smile on the face of the narcoleptic pirate.

* * *

Fleet Admiral Sengoku stood in front of the Five Elder Stars AKA the Gorosei.

"Did we actually devote the front page of today's paper to the exploits of _a pirate_ in the East Blue?" Sengoku inquired. "Admiral Akainu just blew down the door to my office and demanded answers that I didn't have. Do any of you have an explanation I can share before he burns down half of headquarters? You know he's been in a bad mood ever since his daughter went missing earlier this year."

"Look at the boy's name," came the response, "Monkey D. Luffy… He's the son of the Revolutionary and the Grandson of the Marine Hero. Given his heritage he could be a powerful ally or a dangerous enemy. He claims he wants to be King of the Pirates but the boy is young and naïve. There's a chance that his desires could still be shifted and changed. We had his exploits published as front page news to encourage his continued cooperation with the World Government."

"Sounds risky," Sengoku admitted, "If he's anything like Garp he'll be hardheaded and stubborn. But I can see the potential payoff. You're playing a very dangerous game here."

"We'll be sure to keep a close eye on his endeavors once he reaches the Grand Line."

* * *

"BOSS! BOSS! IT'S HAWK EYE!" a pirate in the New World shouted.

"Damn it, quit shouting!" 'Red Haired' Shanks complained. "I've got the world's worst hangover…"

" **Yes, and I'm sure that the next one will be the world's worst hangover as well."**

Shanks looked up to see the World Greatest Swordsman 'Hawk Eye' Mihawk standing in front of him.

"What're you doing here Hawk Eye?" Shanks asked. "Come for a fight?"

"I have no interest in dueling a one-armed has-been," Mihawk stated. "I thought that since you're rarely up before noon I'd take the liberty of personally delivering today's issue of the paper." Mihawk offered a newspaper to Shanks. "I even gave a quote. Normally I never talk to the press but the article is about some pirates that caught my interest. The Captain reminded me of a story you told me about how you gave up your arm and your old hat for a boy in the East Blue."

" _'East Blue Saved'_ …" Shanks read as he stared blearily down at the paper. "Bloody hell, man! Do I look like I'm in any condition to read?"

"Then perhaps you can look at the pictures?" Mihawk suggested to the hungover pirate.

"Oh, hey! That's Luffy!" Shanks exclaimed. "You mean he saved the East Blue?"

"More or less," Mihawk replied. "The fact that the World Government actually printed it tells me that they've got their eye on him."

"HEY GUYS!" Shanks shouted as he jumped to his feet and tossed the newspaper aside. Yasopp casually scooped up the discarded paper and started reading it. "LUFFY'S FAMOUS! LET'S PARTY!"

"I thought you were hungover," Mihawk reminded him.

"Screw that! Luffy made the front page! I can't _not drink_ in a situation like this! C'mon, Hawk Eye! Don't be a stick in the mud. Have some grog!"

"It's two in the afternoon," the World Greatest Swordsman reminded him.

"Well that's sure not gonna stop me!" Shanks exclaimed.

"Hey… it says here Luffy beat the Black Cat Pirates at the Gecko Islands," Yasopp remarked. "He could've met Usopp! Hey Captain! I think I'll drink with you!"

"Me too!" Lucky Roo exclaimed. He didn't even need an excuse.

Soon all the Red Haired Pirates were drinking.

"Well… I suppose one drink wouldn't hurt," Mihawk relented.

"That's the spirit Hawk Eye!" Shanks called out. "Drink up buddy!" Shanks turned and raised his mug to someone who wasn't there. "Here's to you Luffy. The whole world's watching you now, kid. Let's see what you do."

* * *

Nami came out of the storage room in a new outfit and with her hair still damp from her shower.

"GAH!" she yelped when Luffy suddenly dropped down from the railing outside the galley and landed in front of her. "ARE YOU TRYING TO GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK?"

"No, I wanted to say I'm sorry," Luffy stated, "Sorry I made you have to take a shower."

Nami blinked in surprise at the fact that the impulsive blockhead had actually apologized to her. But then she noticed him looking off to the side and followed his line of sight to Sabo, who nodded. Clearly Luffy had been 'encouraged' to apologize. Either way it was a nice thought.

"It's alright Luffy," Nami reassured him. "You were clearly traumatized. I guess I'm not the only one on this ship that had a rough childhood."

"But every time Grandpa hit me with his 'Fist of Love' it made me stronger," Luffy insisted.

"I guess it paid off in the long run then," Nami reasoned. She decided to move the subject away from childhood trauma. "Anyway, I've got good news for you. We're heading for the Grand Line."

Luffy smiled happily, "Really? Oh boy! This'll be great! That's where we'll find One Piece!"

"But before we go there…" Nami continued once he'd gotten that out of his system, "I think there's a stop we should make. It's a special town called Loguetown."

"Oh, what's so special about it?" Luffy asked as he scratched his head through his hat like a monkey.

"It's the town where the Pirate King Gold Roger was born and executed," Nami informed him.

Luffy's face lit up even brighter than before. "THE PLACE WHERE THE GREAT PIRATE ERA BEGAN?"

Nami smirked and tried not to look too proud of herself, "I take it you're interest—URK!" Nami was cut of when she suddenly found herself hoisted off the ground in the tightest hug she'd ever felt.

"THANKS NAMI!" Luffy shouted right in her ear. "YOU'RE THE BEST NAVIGATOR EVER!"

Luffy finally deposited a ruffled and half-deaf Nami on the ground. She might not have been able to hear Usopp sniggering but she did see him, Sabo and Zoro all smirking at her. She quickly reacted and knocked him to the ground with a blow to the head.

 **BONK!**

"DON'T MANHANDLE ME AND DON'T SCREAM IN MY EAR!" the Navigator berated the Captain. She stomped away and proceeded to shout sailing instructions up at the Boatswain.

Sabo made his way over to Luffy and was surprised to find him laughing. "Shishishishi!"

"What's with you?" Sabo asked.

"She hits like Grandpa," Luffy told him as he got up and ran off.

"How is that a good thing?" Sabo wondered. He watched his brother as he climbed up to his special seat on the figure head.

Sabo turned to his girlfriend and raised an eyebrow. "Did that seem odd to you?"

Bonnie Anne was notably silent.

"Yeah, you're right," Sabo said, "I _don't_ want you to answer that. I'm inclined to ignore it." He surveyed the deck and noted that the Navigator was watching the Captain out of the corner of her eye. "Yeah… I'm gonna ignore that too." Sabo promptly turned around and headed in the opposite direction.

* * *

"Not so high and mighty now, are ya?" the offensive and soon-to-be-dead marine guard taunted.

Arlong glared at the marine outside his cell. That was about all he could do. His arms and legs had been bound and shackled by thick steel chains that even his immense fishman strength couldn't break. They'd even chained his mouth shut. Good decision on their part, if his mouth was free he'd have bitten through his chains and made his escape two days ago when he'd finally regained consciousness following his fight with Straw Hat.

But with the chains on his mouth acting as a muzzle Arlong couldn't help feeling like the dangerous animal that most of the pathetic human marines had treated him as. All of them except for this scum-sucking human bastard outside his cell that had been assigned guard duty.

Bound in chains Arlong was powerless to do anything about the annoying human guard. He couldn't even respond to the spineless unevolved monkey's taunts. The only thing that kept from going into a rage was the thought that with just _one_ of his limbs free he could easily tear the pathetic waste-of-life's throat out.

"Quit taunting the prisoner," the other less annoying but still pathetic guard instructed.

"Aw, what's he gonna do?" the worthless waste of life asked. "We've got him chained up so tight that he can barely move."

"I'd prefer it if you didn't provoke him," the not-annoying guard stated. "He'll be easier to deal with if he's just sitting there."

"It serves him right," the pain-in-the-ass human insisted. "This fish-monster thought he could enslave all the humans in the East Blue. He deserves to be punished."

"It's not your job to punish him," the slightly bearable guard argued. "We've been assigned guard duty so that means our only job is to ensure he doesn't get out."

"Fine, take all the fun out of it," the asshole marine grumbled. But Arlong knew he'd start again in a bit.

Another marine suddenly came running into the brig. "The Commodore needs all hands on deck."

"What's going on?"

"Former Marine Captain Morgan just showed up outside the base!" the newcomer marine explained. "He's brought Kuro and Jango with him!"

"I thought they were all arrested by Garp?" the not quite a pathetic waste of life inquired.

"Apparently they got free," the new human said, "But it looks like Morgan's turning the two pirates in. The Commodore doesn't want any funny business so he's calling everyone that can be spared to help receive the prisoners. One of you can stay here and lock down the brig the other come with me."

"I'll take care of things over here," the asshole marine volunteered.

"Keep the cell locked and don't piss him off!" the non-asshole guard ordered before he and the other marine left the brig.

"Alone at last," the pathetic useless marine remarked as he turned to face Arlong in his cell. "You know… I had a cousin in Gosa. I had wondered why he spotted writing. He's _dead_ because of you!" The marine took the key and unlocked the cell. "This has been a long time coming fish-freak!"

 **CHUNK!**

Arlong's eyes widened in surprise as the marine crumbled to the ground with a knife in his back. That _had_ been coming for a long time. The only problem was that Arlong hadn't done it himself.

Arlong was further surprised when he couldn't see an assailant. That was until a dismembered hand floated up into the air holding the fallen asshole's keys. Arlong spotted an eyeball on the hand as it floated towards him then went around him.

 **Click!**

Arlong felt the lock on his chains come undone and the hand unbound his arms. With his arms free Arlong reached up and ripped the chains off his mouth.

 **KRESH!**

Then he reached down and tore off the shackles on his legs.

 **KRESH!**

Arlong stood up and watched the hand float out of the cell and motion for him to follow it. He made to step over the stabbed marine guard as he went to leave the cell but stopped and decided against it. Arlong grinned maliciously as he reached down and rolled the guard over so he could do something he'd wanted to do for a long, long time.

"Urk!" the marine let out a gurgle and his eyes went wide on horror.

"You've had _this_ coming for a long time," Arlong told the marine before he tore his throat out.

 **SQUELCH!**

Arlong smiled as he stood back up and the hand motioned for him to follow it again. The hand led Arlong out of the brig and down a long hallway.

"This is a dead end," Arlong pointed out when they reached the end of the hallway. "Is _this_ what you call a rescue?"

 **KROOM!**

The wall exploded inward to reveal a woman with a mace.

"The ship's this way," the woman announced. The hand floated out passed her while she hefted her mace onto her shoulder. Arlong followed the woman and the hand along a ledge that ran around the outside of Marine Base 77. They reached the back of the base and found a small ship waiting.

The hand floated down towards the ship and the woman jumped after it. Arlong looked back at the base and thought briefly about his fishman brothers that were still trapped in the base. But he couldn't afford to go back and free them now.

Decision made, Arlong leapt off the ledge and landed on the deck of the ship.

 **TMP!**

Arlong watched the dismembered hand and eye reattach to a human with clown make up. At least he seemed to understand that inferior humans were a joke and dressed the part. The clown's painted mouth stretched into a wide grin. "WELCOME ABOARD! I'm—"

"I don't care who you are," Arlong cut him off. "And don't hold your breath waiting for me to thank you. I know that you only did it because you need something from me. Spit it out, clown, what do you want?"

"Right to the point, eh?" the clown questioned. "Alright. I can deal with that. What I want I something that you probably want as well: revenge on Straw Hat Luffy!"

That _was_ something that Arlong wanted. "So what if I do?" he challenged the painted buffoon. "Why would I need _your_ _help_ to get my revenge?"

"Like you, I lost everything because of a run-in with those lousy Straw Hat Pirates," the clown stated. "I've assembled a flashy crew of rouges that all have an ax to grind with those punks! All of us lost to those bastards separately… but with all of us working together… they don't stand a chance! We've got a hunch that we know exactly where Straw Hat's heading. If you stick with us and donate your strength to the cause… you'll get a front row seat to the death of Straw Hat Luffy."

Arlong didn't want to admit it… especially to an interior human… but he was still suffering from some lingering injuries that he'd received during his battle with Straw Hat. Since he wasn't recovered enough to be in top form just yet he could use these humans to temporarily pick up the slack.

"Normally I'd never join up with a bunch of puny humans," Arlong admitted, "But… your offer is tempting. What I want more than anything right now is to see that rubber brat dead. He took my prized pet—uh _navigator_ and destroyed my empire… He'll pay for that with his life! I'll ride with you for the time being… but once the rubber brat is dead… we part ways and I never deal with you humans again."

"With that kind of attitude we definitely won't miss you," the iron mace woman stated.

"We knew he hated humans going into this rescue, Alvida," the clown stated. "I don't expect this fishman to change his entire view of humans at the drop of a hat. My flashy plan for revenge relies on us temporarily working together. No one ever said anything about liking each other. Now let's go pick up the others. HURRY IT UP STOOGES!"

A human that looked like he was half rabbit made his big pet lion push the ship away from the shore and then a human with mismatched hair steered the ship around the base. They eventually found three humans in striped prison jumpsuits waiting for them out in front of the base. Everything was quiet.

"You didn't have to kill all of them," a human with an ax-hand complained to a blood soaked human holding two swords. "Those were skilled marines. Your hypnotist had already put them to sleep. What purpose did slaughtering them all fulfill?"

The blood soaked man handed his blood stained swords over to an injured human with a mushroom stalk beard. The injured human used the swords as a crutch while the blood soaked human adjusted his broken glasses with his palm.

"They were witnesses," he said in a pompous know-it-all tone. "The fewer people that know about our actions here the more likely we'll have the element of surprise when we catch Straw Hat in Loguetown."

"Loguetown?" Arlong repeated.

"Yes, I think there'll be a sense of flashy poetic justice if we can catch Straw Hat off guard and kill him on the same execution platform that the Pirate King died on," the clown boasted. He turned and shouted to his henchmen, "LET'S GO STOOGES! MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! NEXT STOP, LOGUETOWN!"

"He taking credit for your plan," Arlong heard the ax-man whisper to the murderer.

"Let him," the cat-like schemer whispered. "Once we kill Straw Hat the World Government will be looking for someone to blame. That buffoon will be the perfect patsy. He'll go to prison for orchestrating the whole thing while the rest of us slip through the cracks and make our escape."

Arlong looked back over at the clown and noticed him scowling. One of his ears was notably missing.

Honestly, Arlong didn't care who was in charge of this scheme. He'd tolerate these scheming humans long enough to get revenge on Straw Hat.

"Your days are numbered rubber brat," Arlong growled as they set off for Loguetown and their revenge. "Vengeance will be mine!"

* * *

 **ANNOUNCEMENT:** I realized while I was writing my news article that Sabo doesn't have an official epithet/nickname. Some villains call him 'Top Hat' but that's not his _official_ name. I'm honestly not sure what to use so I'm going to leave it open for you guys to decide. Anyone that has a suggestion for my Sabo's epithet submit it in a review. Keep in mind that the government officials don't know about Sabo's weird relationship. Next week I'll take all the suggestions and put them on a poll on my profile page. The suggestion with the most votes will become Sabo's official epithet in this story.

Silver signing off…

Edited 6-13-16


	21. Loguetown

_**BROTHER ON BOARD**_

Bluejay Blaze - Funny you should mention Dragon... stay tuned!

The Poarter - You noticed that bit, did you? She's not. I actually went back and added "earlier this year" to show that it can't be Bonnie Anne since she's been with Sabo for two years. That's just me setting up for a funny subplot that someone suggested last year. It's going to come into play further down the line.

PsychopathOnADiet - I probably need to read more One Piece fanfics. I haven't seen 'Blue Gentleman' used before. But thanks for the submission!

manna-chan - Makes sense. I guess that's another vote for the Blue Gentleman.

Pancakes1708 - Thanks. That's three-in-a-row for Blue Gentleman. Looks like we have an early favorite.

Hiezen - Just 'Gentleman', okay I'll add it to the list. As for Stelly, since the recent manga chapter showed what he's been up to I figured I'd show him working towards that since he's a character that's associated with Sabo.

The Patient One - Smoker's going to be introduced next chapter. I haven't read TheVictor's story. Was the name he used 'the Blue Gentleman'?

Guest 1 - Blue Gentleman is something that I seem to be seeing a lot too. Maybe I really should start looking for those fanfics...

Guest 2 - Wild Gentleman. Well that's different. Thanks!

Guest 3 - Luffy as a Warlord? I doubt he'd like that very much.

Narya Anima - I figure that Ace is a lot happier in general since Sabo's still alive. So expect me to play up his carefree narcolepsy quirk.

lostdog200 - Sounds like a recipe for disaster! I was just showing Stelly since he's a character that's associated with Sabo and was recently shown in the manga. All the other Straw Hats have supporting characters that are paying attention to their exploits. I figured Sabo's so-called family would be interested in him.

Johnny Spectre - Revenge of the East Blue baddies is close at hand! Luffy and Sabo... BEWARE!

Lunapok - How many fanfics are there that call him 'Blue Gentleman'? I'm surprised that I missed them all.

BedofRoses1989 - Top Hat, Peacemaker and Blue Gentleman. Thanks for the submissions. _And_ thanks for name dropping a story that Blue Gentleman was used in. Nami has to get sick... or they'll never have to go off course to find Chopper. The other Straw Hats don't appear to get sick. Mortally wounded and poisoned, yes, but never sick. Even Usopp's never _actually_ sick. So that's a One Piece event that's sort of set in stone.

Chrisfragger - Even a band of losers can get the better of a 'winner' when they don't see it coming.

rasEnshur1KEn - Gunner Master... that seems to the inverse of Sabo's name for Usopp's position of Master Gunner. But I'll put it on the list.

AnyMoreBrightIdeasGenius - You're on the list! (And so is Nami as the President of the Anti Bonnie Anne Fan Club) Thanks for the suggestions, Blue Gentleman, Gentleman Sharpshooter, and Pistolwhip.

Rswier - Dark Horse Sabo... has sort of a cowboy feel to it, doesn't it? Speaking of cowboys, I'm totally including Daddy the Father in this chapter. But also stay tuned for that familiar big eyed girl you mentioned. I said early on that I thought of a way to work her in. And she has been!

PirateDragons121 - I guess that's another vote for Blue Gentleman. I don't think Sabo will like being called 'noble' but some people's nicknames annoy them. Thanks for the ideas.

Fairy of the Friz - Thanks! Stay tuned for interactions between Sabo and another couple of familiar characters. Straw Hat and Top Hat. Yeah, hopefully the homeless bum from last chapter doesn't feel left out.

Mikila94 - Yes. Yes she will. Garp doesn't know about Bonnie. But Makino, Dadan and the mountain bandits do. I'll show their reactions in a flashback at some point. And _me_ a LuNa shipper? What makes you think that? *Grins!*

yuzukikuran476 - Will do! Thanks again for all the reviews. If you spot mistakes point them out and I'll fix them. And no, Nojiko is not part of the pairing. She was just a fling and a way to explore Sabo and Bonnie relationship.

Fan - Wow, three suggestions, thanks. Personally I like 'Daunting Debonair' the best. 'Riflegeist' is more Bonnie's nickname.

* * *

 **Loguetown-**

"Here we are," Nami announced as the Straw Hat Pirates stood under a wooden arch at entrance to the Loguetown. "Loguetown… they call it 'the Town of the Beginning and the End.'"

"Whoa!" Luffy gasped in unfiltered excitement, "So this is the place where the Great Pirate Era began?"

"This is a really big town… I'd actually call it a city," Sabo remarked as he scanned the tall buildings that ran along the length of the tiled street. He'd once again broken out Bonnie Anne's strap and had his girlfriend on his back pointing upward. "It looks like it covers the entire island!"

"It nearly does," Nami informed him. "This patch of islands is called the Polestar Islands. _This_ island is almost completely covered by Loguetown. It's usually the last stop most pirates make to get supplies before heading to the Grand Line."

"I wanna see the execution scaffold!" Luffy exclaimed. He darted off before anyone could stop him.

"Don't look at me," Sabo stated as he folded his arms across his chest, "I've got stuff to do. I'm not going after him." The other Straw Hats didn't seem too eager to chase after Luffy either.

"I should probably stock up on food," Sanji resolved.

"I need to buy some new equipment for the Usopp Factory," Usopp stated.

"There's something I need to buy too…" Zoro admitted as Sanji and Usopp headed off.

"Of course, the sword-hoarder needs more weapons," Sabo noted.

Zoro glared at him, "Well, I doubt you have many bullets left after fighting those fishmen and marines."

"True, shopping for ammo is one of those things that Bonnie and I have to do," Sabo agreed.

"I can loan you guys some money!" Nami offered with a wide smile that was way too friendly. Then lowered her voice and whispered under her breath. "…at three hundred percent interest of course."

 **KER-CHOW!**

A number of civilians jumped at the loud gunshot and turned to see Sabo reach back and fondly pat the smoking barrel rifle.

"Bonnie doesn't seem to think that's a good idea," he noted. "So I'll pass. I'm not gonna accept a loan from you without a written contract detailing the money I'd owe you back."

 **CLICK!**

Nami didn't speak rifle and had no intention of ever learning but she was pretty sure that Bonnie Anne had either just cursed at her or insulted her from on Sabo's back as the Quartermaster carried her off. Nami glared after the rifle then turned back to her other potential sucker—uh… _client_.

"I don't know if I should accept either," Zoro commented.

"C'mon, are you really gonna take _the rifle's_ advice over mine?" Nami prodded him. "You hate that rifle almost as much as I do."

"I don't care about the rifle," Zoro told her, "It's the nutjob carrying it around that pisses me off. But even I can't deny that he knows what he's talking about when it comes to money and negotiating."

"Fine, because you're a friend I'll give you a special discount and only charge you two hundred percent interest," Nami proposed. "News flash, swords are expensive and you're broke. That's my final offer."

"Well that's different then," the flat broke, nearly sword-less swordsman decided, "You've got a deal."

* * *

And so the Straw Hats split up and embarked on their separate adventures in Loguetown.

Luffy got lost on his way to the execution scaffold but found a friendly bartender that told him stories about the Pirate King then gave him directions. Zoro encountered a carbon copy of his dead friend Kuina and found himself shopping for swords with her. Nami tried on a bunch of fancy outfits then broke the tailor's heart by not buying any of them. She ended up getting a bunch of casual clothes then watched Usopp compete in a duel against the famous bounty hunter Daddy 'the Father' over a fancy pair of goggles. Finally, Sanji took part in a cooking contest and won the top prize: a Blue-Finned Elephant Tuna.

Sabo made his way down the main street in Loguetown and marveled at the tall buildings.

"Wow… this place is even bigger than the Goa Kingdom," Sabo observed. "The buildings are way taller and there's a lot more of 'em. What do you think Bonnie… should we ask for directions to an ammo store or should we explore a bit?"

 **Click!**

"Alright, the scenic route it is," Sabo resolved as he continued to wander aimlessly down the city street. "Hey look at that fancy place at the end of the road!" Sabo dashed down the road but stopped short when he realized that the fancy building was surrounded by a tall iron fence. "Huh? What's the deal?"

" **That place is an exclusive hotel that's closed off to the general public."**

Sabo turned to see a young woman with short light brown hair standing further along the fence. She wore a white blouse with a ruffled collar and cuffs underneath a red old-style dress with a slanted belt and a maroon sweater that had belt-like straps on both arms and two lines of gold buttons going down the front. Like Sabo's, her outfit looked like it had come out of Victorian England.

Sabo approached the girl and noticed that she was standing in front of the front gate. He also noticed the girl's most striking feature: her large round eyes similar to that of a…

"Koala!" Sabo blurted out.

The girl blinked. "How'd you know my name?"

"It just came to me," Sabo answered, "It was your eyes… they're big and round like a koala's."

"Rude!" Koala exclaimed. "You're walking around in a top hat and a fancy blue collared shirt… you don't see me calling you 'Dandy Man'."

"That'd be silly," Sabo said, "My name's Sabo."

"I think I'll stick with Dandy Man."

"Geez, I hope that doesn't catch on," Sabo grumbled, "So what were you saying about this place?"

Koala folded her arms under her chest, "It's supposed to be some really fancy, exclusive hotel that caters only to royalty."

"Wow… Talk about a waste of money," Sabo remarked. At Koala's confused look he elaborated. "The only royal family in the East Blue that I know of is the one in the Goa Kingdom. So that's one batch of potential guests in this whole ocean. Maybe royals from the Grand Line or one of the other oceans could visit but that doesn't seem like it would happen very often. I don't see how this place can have a steady source of income… even if those snooty royals _can_ afford to pay millions of berries per night."

 **KLANK!**

The front gate was thrown open and a man with a large rectangular face with squares on his large chin that made it look like a hotel stood in front of them flanked by two guards.

"This is private property!" the hotel-faced man informed them. "You must leave the premises at once!"

"We weren't on the property… we're standing outside it," Sabo pointed out.

"Either way! You and your girlfriend will have to leave immediately!" the hotel-faced man insisted. "We pride ourselves on serving a very exclusive clientele. Might I suggest the _Love Hotel_ down the street?"

Sabo and Koala both went beet red and blurted out, "WE'RE NOT A COUPLE!"

"WE JUST MET!" Koala exclaimed.

"I've got a girlfriend!" Sabo insisted.

 **KER-CHOW!**

"Really?" hotel-man asked. "You're both wearing similar style clothing I could've sworn—NEVER MIND! Both of you leave immediately or I'll call the Marines and report suspicious individuals lurking around my property!"

"Come on!" Koala urged Sabo as she grabbed his arm and dragged him away.

"I hope you go bankrupt and close down!" Sabo called out as he was pulled away from the royalty hotel.

"Shut up!" Koala scolded him, "I can't afford to have you cause a scene and turn a lot of attention towards me!"

"Oh?" Sabo asked as his anger faded and he looked curiously at the girl who was still dragging him. "What're you… some kind of undercover secret agent?"

"No… I just finished training with my… uh group," Koala told him. "I'm here with my boss. We're supposed to be keeping a low profile."

"Still sounds like you're a secret agent," Sabo stated.

"I'M NOT A SECRET AGENT!" Koala snapped at him.

"At least not a very good one," Sabo commented, "What kind of secret agent loudly shouts about not being a secret agent? That just draws even more attention to you."

Koala looked around her and saw people staring at them. She quickly tossed Sabo down a nearby alley and stomped in after him.

"You're not gonna mug me are you?" Sabo asked. "'Cause I'm warning you… I don't have much money."

"I'M NOT A SECRET AGENT AND I'M NOT A MUGGER!" Koala shouted at him. "I'M A MEMBER OF THE—" She noticed Sabo's eager expression and cut herself off. "Nice try. That girlfriend of yours must have the patience of a Saint."

 **KER-CHOW!**

"You didn't have to agree with her!" Sabo complained to Bonnie Anne.

"Wait are saying that…" Koala cut herself up again and shook her head. "You know what? I'm not even gonna ask. Something tells me it would just annoy me even more."

"Oh, by the way," Sabo said, "That mysterious boss of yours… does he have a tattoo on his face and wear a dark green cloak?"

Koala's big eyes got even bigger as she stared at him in surprise, "How'd you know that?"

"Lucky guess?" Sabo teased her. She glared at him. "He's standing right behind you."

Koala went stiff then whirled around and found her boss standing behind her. "Dra-I mean, Boss! I wasn't causing a scene! It was all his fault!"

"URK! URK!" the cloaked man gagged.

"Sounds like he's choking," Sabo supplied.

Koala's wide eyes went even wider as she started to panic, "Choking? WHAT DO I DO!?"

"I'll take care of it," Sabo said as he cracked his knuckles. He stepped passed Koala, drew back his arm and socked the choking cloaked man in the stomach.

 **POW!**

 **PTOI!**

The cloaked man spat out a large chicken bone with so much force that it embedded into the alley wall and stuck there like a dart.

"Hm, nice shot," Sabo remarked as he looked from the chicken bone to the cloaked man. "That's what you get for trying to eat the whole chicken at once. Learn some manners, will ya?"

"How did…" Koala stammered as she stared at Sabo in shock.

"My little brother does that all the time," Sabo answered. "His eyes are bigger than his—YOOOUU!" Sabo pointed his finger accusingly at the cloaked man with the tattoo on his face as a distant memory suddenly came back to him. "I remember you… ten years ago… the night of the fire…"

" _What happened to you, boy?"_

" _Old man… the royalty and nobles are… behind the fire… This town smells worse than the Gray Terminal. It smells like rotten people! If I stay here I'll never be free! I'm… ashamed of being born a noble!"_

" _I know how you feel. I was born in this country, too. But I still don't have enough power to change the country."_

" _Old man, you really are listening to me, aren't you?"_

" _Yes, and I'll never forget."_

"Hello, boy," the cloaked man greeted him. "I see you managed to get away from that smelly town and those rotten nobles."

"Yeah, I'm free," Sabo confirmed. "Now I'm gonna deal with the problem myself. The royalty and nobles set the Gray Terminal on fire so they could impress one of the Celestial Dragons… the same bastard that nearly killed me when I tried to escape. So now… I'm gonna take down the Celestial Dragons."

The cloaked man grinned widely. "You've got spirit. How'd you like to join my army?"

"I'll pass," Sabo answered immediately causing Koala to face-fault and the cloaked man to sweat-drop.

"I… don't you know who I am?" the cloaked man asked. "I'm Dragon the Revolutionary. I'm the leader of the Revolutionary Army and the most wanted man in the world!"

"Congratulations," Sabo said, "But I'm still not interested. I don't need an army to accomplish my goals. Just one ship and crew of close friends will be enough."

"R-really?" Dragon stammered.

"I'm no revolutionary… I'm a pirate," Sabo stated, "I've got my brother to look after, my girlfriend to free and my dream to pursue. So thanks but no thanks." Sabo slipped passed Dragon and Koala and headed out of the alley. "See you around!"

"Bye Dandy Man!" Koala called out with a wave.

"That's _Sabo_!" Sabo corrected her.

"I'm still sticking with Dandy Man!" Koala teased him.

"You _will_ see me around!" Dragon insisted. "I haven't given up yet! Mark my words! One day you'll join my army!"

"Don't hold your breath!" Sabo advised as he left the alley and the two revolutionaries behind him. "What a stubborn guy. Bonnie, can you even imagine me working for a guy like that?"

 **KER-CHOW!**

"You can?" Sabo questioned. "Well… that makes one of us."

* * *

"Oi, that's the Straw Hats' ship!" Jango called out to the other members of the villainous alliance as they arrived in the Loguetown Docks. "It looks like they beat us here."

"Mohji, set it on fire!" Buggy ordered. "They destroyed the Big Top so now we'll return the favor and flashily burn their ship to a crisp! A ship for a ship!"

"Forget that," Arlong snarled, "I'll sink that toy ship like it's nothing. I'll break it like a twig."

"No don't," Kuro spoke up. "I need that ship to enact the final step of my plan for revenge."

"What are you going to do with that?" Morgan asked.

"I have a reputation to restore," Kuro stated. "I'm going to use that ship to send a message when I sail back to Syrup Village and kill everyone there. Those so called heroes may have foiled my plan but in the end I'll show everyone that I got the last laugh!"

"You do realize that by sparing that ship you're leaving the other Straw Hats with a means to escape," Alvida pointed out.

"My plan doesn't account for _any_ of the Straw Hats surviving," Kuro insisted.

"Except Sabo," Alvida stated.

"WHAT!?" Buggy shouted. "You're going to spare that flashy rifle-bastard!?"

"That depends on him," Alvida replied. She hefted up her mace and tapped it on her hand. "I have no problem breaking a man and bending him to my will. Now… if I know my Sabo… he's probably shopping for ammo for that... _girlfriend_ of his. I'll find him there. You…" Alvida pointed at Mohji. "Come with me."

Mohji looked over at Buggy then shrugged. Soon after, Richie the lion with his purple mane braided like handle bars leapt off of the ship and ran down the street with Mohji and Alvida riding on his back.

"Was _that_ part of your grand plan?" Arlong asked. "Top Hat can be a major pain in the dorsal fin."

"At the very least she should be able to keep him busy," Kuro resolved. "There are more than enough of us here to kill Straw Hat and anyone that's with him. He'll most likely be at the execution scaffold."

"I know where that is!" Buggy announced, "I was there twenty two years ago when they executed the Pirate King. Come on boys, grab a cloak and follow me! We'll execute that wannabe Pirate King on the same scaffold where the real Pirate King died! OUR FLASHY REVENGE IS CLOSE AT HAND! GET READY STRAW HAT! SOON YOUR HEAD WILL ROLL! GYAHAHAHAHA!"

* * *

"I bet people could easily get lost in a city like this," Sabo mused as he continued his trek through Loguetown. "Hmm… now… who should we ask for directions to an ammo store? I can't just go up to a random civilian… they might report me to the Marines or—"

 **KER-CHOW!**

 **CLICK-CLICK!**

Sabo suddenly found himself staring down the barrel of two pistols being wielded by a man in a black cowboy hat with a red band going around the base.

"Ah, I bet you know where I can buy some ammo," Sabo remarked.

"Carol, is this man on the newest batch of Wanted Posters?" the gunslinger asked his blonde daughter.

"Nope," the girl answered.

"I _did_ make the front page of yesterday's news," Sabo informed them.

"That's what the long-nosed liar-guy said," Carol pointed out.

"Long Nose… you guys saw Usopp?" Sabo asked.

"I just got back from a duel with him outside of town," the cowboy answered. At Sabo's glare he explained. "He's fine. So is the girl that was with him." He put his pistols back in their holsters.

"Ah, that was Usopp and Nami," Sabo realized, "My Master Gunner and Navigator. I'm Sabo the Quartermaster of our pirate crew."

"Oh, he's the one that was interviewed in the article," Carol realized. "Papa… I think this is the guy that you-know-who told you to keep an eye out for."

"Folks around here call me Daddy the Father," the bounty hunter stated, "This is my daughter, Carol."

"Nice to meet you," Sabo replied. "I don't suppose you'd be willing to help out a fellow gunslinger and point me in the direction of a decent ammo store?"

"I use a place that's a block away from Main Street," the bounty hunter answered. "The door's in an alley between a tavern and one of those tourist trap gift shops."

"Thanks, I'll see if I can find it," Sabo resolved.

"See if you can get that rifle fixed while you're there," Daddy advised. "You could've hurt somebody."

Sabo smirked and shook his head. "For a rifle, Bonnie's perfect the way she is. She wasn't trying to hit anybody… so she didn't. If she wanted to… she would have. You're lucky you were only dueling Usopp because if you were facing Bonnie she would've creamed you. My girlfriend always hits her target."

Sabo turned to go and Bonnie Anne fired on her own.

 **KER-CHOW!**

The father-daughter duo looked up and watched as Bonnie's round tore the crown off of a nearby whale-shaped weather vane.

"Papa… isn't that the same weather vane that long-nose…"

"Yes, yes, it is."

"What a weird guy…"

"Now Carol, you shouldn't call people weird. It's bad manners."

"Uncle Smoker's gonna have a lot of trouble dealing with these pirates, isn't he?"

"You've got that right. I can already tell that there's something different about these pirates… and we haven't even met their Captain yet."

* * *

"Looks like this is the place," Sabo observed as he stood at the edge of an alley. On one side of him was a tavern with a bar on the ground floor and six other floors above it that contained either hotel rooms or apartments judging by the balconies that ran along the outside. The building on his other side was a shop with large front windows that sold all sorts of cheap paraphernalia. The other floors above it seemed plain and non-distinct with few windows. There was no telling what as up there.

Sabo spotted a door on the gift shop side of the alley and knocked on it.

Eventually a shutter in the door slid open to reveal a pair of steely eyes. "What do you want?"

"I'm looking for ammo," Sabo answered, "Daddy the Father told me to come here."

The door opened to reveal a man with a cone-shaped head and silver hair that went straight down to his neck and made his head look like a bullet.

"I take it this is the right place," Sabo noted.

"This way," the instructed.

" **There he goes…"** Alvida remarked as she and Mohji watched Sabo slip through the alley door from across the street. "You did a good job of finding him."

"You can thank Richie for that," the Beast Tamer told hera s he patted his lions head. "He's got the nose and eyes of a wild hunter."

"Now we just need to wait until he comes back out," Alivida resolved, "And then he'll be mine."

* * *

Sabo followed 'bullet-head' up a staircase and through a doorway then stopped short and stared in wide-eyed wonder at the sight that greeted him.

"Bonnie… I think we've died and gone to bullet heaven…"

The three floors above the cheap gift shop had apparently been cleared out to make a warehouse that was filled with shelves upon shelves upon shelves of different colored ammo boxes.

"What's your weapon?" bullet-head asked.

"She's an Advanced Wheel-Lock Rifle with added scope and custom revolving action," Sabo answered.

"A custom piece, eh? What kind of ammo do you use?"

"Magnum rounds," Sabo replied.

"You'll find those in the back right corner," bullet-head informed him. "I doubt you're an amateur so I'll leave you to find the right caliber bullet yourself. Grab what you need… I'll be up front when you're done or if you need anything." With that, bullet-head turned and walked off.

"Wooow…" Sabo gasped like a kid in a candy store as he made his way through the numerous shelves. "Who would've thought that a place like this would've existed in the East Blue?"

" **Technically it doesn't."**

Sabo blinked in surprise as a familiar cloaked man stepped out from the aisle ahead of him.

"What're you doing here?" Sabo wondered. "Are you stalking me? Because I keep getting this weird feeling that someone nearby is creepily obsessing over me."

"This is _my secret_ ammunition store house," Dragon answered. "What are _you_ doing here?" Dragon grinned widely, "Did you change your mind about joining my army?"

"NO!" Sabo snapped. "And if this is your storehouse… why would Daddy the Father send me here?"

"He used to be a marine… but when he resigned he became my informant," Dragon explained. "He keeps me up to date on news in the East Blue and in exchange I give him enough bullets to keep those twenty pistols of his loaded. I told him to keep an eye out for you."

"Why?" Sabo questioned.

"I wanted you to see the resources you'd have at your disposal if you joined my army," Dragon stated. "So _now_ do you want to join?"

"My answer's still no!" Sabo insisted. "Geez, you're almost as stubborn as my brother."

"Take what you need… I'm sure you'll change your mind eventually," Dragon said before he slipped off.

Sabo grumbled to Bonnie as he made his way to the magnum ammunition. "Now I know how Zoro and Sanji felt when Luffy kept pestering them to join us."

Sabo turned his attention to the shelf of their caliber magnum ammo and eyed the numerous boxes. "Wow… they've got way more than just standard bullets… Exploding rounds… flash rounds… rubber rounds… Oh, we could probably use some more blanks after you ended up using so many the other night with Nojiko."

 **Click!**

"No, I'm not blaming you. I was very involved in that too. I think we both enjoyed how that turned out." Sabo pointed Bonnie Anne at the shelf. "See anything you like?" Sabo slowly tilted Bonnie upward as he pointed his rifle at each shelf and ammo type in turn and waited for his girlfriend to tell him what she wanted to use.

 **Click!**

Sabo stopped, "Ah, you wanna try the rubber rounds? Luffy has certainly shown how effective rubber can be when you use it in a fight. But it looks like these rounds are mostly for trick shots…" Sabo shrugged. "Oh well, should be fun. I know better than to doubt you. Let's see… twelve bullets to a box… we got eight boxes back at Usopp's village and we're nearly out again. The Grand Line is supposed to be even tougher so let's get _sixteen_ boxes this time and finish off with two blanks and rubber rounds each. That's gonna be pricey… I guess it's a good thing that Dragon's gonna let us take whatever we want."

Sabo eventually made his way to the front of the ammunition storehouse carrying a total of twenty boxes of bullets. Dragon raised an eyebrow at Sabo's large assortment of ammo.

"What? I'm heading to the Grand Line," Sabo defended himself. "If my adventures there are anything like the ones I had here then these won't even last me a week."

"Well I'm only giving you the one batch for free," Dragon stated. "You'd better make due." He motioned to the empty wooden crate that was next to him. "That also comes with the condition that you don't get caught carrying all those bullets. Stick 'em in here."

"I'd better load up first," Sabo reasoned He quickly loaded three regular bullets and three rubber rounds into his rifle.

"So…" Dragon prodded with a grin, "Have you changed your mind about joining my army?"

"Oh for the love of…" Sabo muttered, "NOT INTERESTED!"

"Fine, I won't ask anymore," Dragon conceded. "One day you'll change your mind and I'll be waiting."

"Whatever you say," Sabo agreed. "But now that I've finished my shopping I need to go find my brother. He was looking for the execution platform but there's a very strong chance that he got lost."

"Good luck on your journey to the Grand Line," Dragon said. "We'll meet again there… if you survive."

* * *

The door in the alleyway opened and Sabo carried the medium-sized nondescript crate in front of him with Bonnie strapped on his back.

" **Sabo… I've been waiting for you."**

Sabo stopped and stared in surprise when he saw the slim dark haired woman in the white cowboy hat at the end of the alley.

"Oh, well that explains the weird stalker feeling I was getting," Saob reasoned. "Do I know you?"

"That hurts, darling," the woman replied. "I can't believe you forgot about me. There hasn't been a day that's gone by where I didn't think of you. You were the first man to ever hit me."

"Hit you?" Sabo repeated. "I can't remember doing that."

"You really don't remember me…" the woman realized. "Maybe you'll remember this…" The woman pulled a huge iron mace out from behind her back. Sabo's eyes widened as he instantly recognized it.

"That mace… ALVIDA!" he gasped. He dropped his crate and pulled Bonnie Anne off of his back.

"So you _do_ remember me," Alvida noted with a smile.

"I… you look a lot different," Sabo pointed out.

"Yes, I know, my freckles are gone," Alvida admitted.

"Uh... yeah I guess..." Sabo agreed, "I kind of mean the fact that you've lost _a ton_ of weight. You're _way_ thinner now."

Alvida gritted her teeth, "Yes… there's that too. I ate a Devil Fruit and this thin body was a side effect. Ever since we first met I've spent every waking moment trying to track you down."

"Oh? Why's that?" Sabo questioned.

"I wanted to tell you that I love you," Alvida confessed, "And I want to make you mine."

Sabo blinked in surprise. "Right… maybe I hit you in the head too hard. I seem to remember telling you last time that I'm in a committed relationship with my rifle."

"I didn't forget about the _competition_ ," Alvida sneered. "But let's be serious Sabo. Your little _toy_ can never compare to a _real_ woman. You may care about her… but _a gun_ could never return that—"

 **KER-CHOW!**

Bonnie fired on her own and shot Alvida dead-on in the middle of the chest… or she would have if the round hadn't slipped off of Alvida at the last second.

 **SWISH!**

"Your gun can't do anything to me, lover boy!" Alvida taunted. "I ate the Smooth Smooth Fruit. All of your shots will just slide right off of this new body of mine. Your rifle is worthless against me. That toy is only a pale, pathetic imitation of a real woman. It's time for you to grow up and enter a _real_ relationship."

 **KER-CHOW!**

Bonnie fired again. But this time Bonnie's round was orange in color.

 **SWISH!**

Like the other bullet, the orange round slid harmlessly off of Alvida's body and sailed passed her. But then it struck the outside wall of the tavern and bounced off.

 **BOING!**

The rubber round rebounded and sailed across the alley before it struck the wall of the gift shop and bounced off of that.

 **BOING!**

The ricocheting round shot at Alvida from behind and struck her back…

 **SWISH!**

…but once again it slipped right off of her and finally clattered harmlessly to the ground.

"I see we're going to have to do this the hard way," Alvida realized. "NOW!"

 **WHAP**

Sabo only had time to blink in surprise as a whip shot down from the balcony on the tavern's side of the alley and wrapped around his neck before it yanked him up off of the ground and into the air. Sabo abandoned his hold on Bonnie in order to grab at the whip and keep it from strangling him.

 **KLAK!**

Bonnie Anne clattered to the ground below Sabo while Mohji sneered down at Sabo from on the third floor balcony of the tavern and dangled him a full ten feet above the ground.

"We meet again, Top Hat! You made me look like a fool last time… well now _I've_ got the upper hand."

Alvida stepped forward and drove her boot down onto Bonnie's barrel.

"You have a choice, Sabo," Alvida announced, "You can either choose me and live… or you can choose the rifle and die. After which, I'll take great pleasure in crushing your weapon with mine then I'll feed the pieces to his lion."

Alvida hefted her iron mace up and slapped it on her hand as she stared up at the dangling Sabo with her boot pressed down onto Bonnie Anne.

* * *

Meanwhile, Luffy stood on top of the execution scaffold in the middle of Loguetown.

"Wow!" Luffy exclaimed as he stared down at the square below him. "So this is what the Pirate King saw before he died…"

" **HEY YOU! GET DOWN FROM THERE IMMEDIATELY!"**

Luffy looked down and saw an angry policeman with a megaphone. "Why?"

" **THAT SCAFFOLD IS A LANDMARK THAT BELONGS TO THE WORLD GOVERNMENT! GET DOWN—"**

 **CHUNK!**

The policeman dropped to the ground with a knife in his back.

"Wah! What happened?" Luffy gasped.

" **That was me,"** a cloaked figure with a bulbous red nose announced as he walked up to the scaffold.

"Huh? Who're you? Why'd you attack that guy?"

"The more pressing questions is…" the cloaked man with the round red nose said, "What am _I_ going to do to _you_ … STRAW HAT LUFFY!"

 **WHISH!**

The cloaked man threw off his cloak to reveal a fully assembled Buggy the Clown.

"Oh… it's just you Buggy," Luffy said.

"DON'T WRITE ME OFF LIKE I'M NOTHING!" Buggy yelled up at him.

"Who're your friends, Buggy?" Luffy asked as he saw four cloaked figures that came up behind Buggy.

 **WHISH-WHISH-WHISH!**

The three smaller figure threw off their cloaks to reveal Kuro, Jango and Morgan.

"GAH! AX-GUY! WEIRDO HYPNOTIST! BUTT-GUY!" Luffy yelped in surprise.

" **Shahahaha!"** the final and largest cloaked figure laughed, **"Looks like you humans need to work on leaving a lasting impression."**

 **WHISH!**

"ARLONG!?" Luffy shouted. "WHAT'RE YOU GUYS ALL DOING TOGETHER!?"

"We all united for one common objective Straw Hat," Kuro informed him. "YOUR DEATH!"

"Oh, that's it?" Luffy asked. He shrugged and cracked his knuckles. "Okay. I beat you guys apart. I'll beat you all together. I'm not gonna die here!"

 **WHING!**

Suitably distracted by the sight of his five united enemies, Luffy never noticed the sixth man as he flipped up the back of the scaffold and hit Luffy with a large wooden block.

 **WHOMP!**

Luffy suddenly found himself lying on his stomach with his head and arms hanging off the scaffold as they poked out of the heavy wooden chopping block.

"Hello Straw Hat," Cabaji the Acrobat greeted Luffy as he casually sat on the wooden block. "How is Roronoa Zoro? Since the day we me your crew I've been striving to improve my swordsmanship."

"WHO'RE YOU?" Luffy called up to him causing the acrobat to sweat-drop.

"LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, BOYS AND GIRLS, CHILDREN OF AAALL AGES!" Buggy loudly proclaimed. "I, BUGGY THE CLOWN, IN CONJUNCTION WITH THE BLACK CAT PIRATES AND SAW TOOTH ARLONG… PROUDLY PRESENT TO YOU A FLASHY SPECTACLE UNLIKE ANYTHING YOU'VE EVER SEEN BEFORE! PRESENTING: THE PUBLIC EXECUTION OF STRAW HAT LUFFY!"

The crowd of civilians immediately panicked and started screaming.

"I've gotta admit…" Morgan confessed, "The clown has a natural gift for flair."

"Oh, there's going to be an execution?" Luffy asked.

"YEAH! _YOURS_ DUMBASS!" Buggy yelled up at him.

"WHAT? THAT'S NOT FUNNY! QUIT JOKING AROUND!"

"I'M NOT!" Buggy hollered back. "PREPARE TO DIE, STRAW HAT! THIS TIME THE JOKE'S ON YOU! GYAHAHAHAHAHA!"

* * *

So yeah, this was a relatively short mostly Sabo-centric chapter. But Luffy, Zoro, Nami, Usopp and Sanji's solo adventures don't change much from canon/the anime filler so I didn't feel like wasting time by just retyping all of them. I plan on finishing off the East Blue Saga with one big final chapter next week.

Anyway, I asked and you guys delivered. I received a record-breaking (for me) 24 reviews last chapter and most of them contained a suggestion for Sabo's epithet. Thanks to everybody that submitted one.

So far the most popular choice seems to be 'Blue Gentleman' which was used for Sabo's epithet in some other One Piece fanfics that I haven't read. I've been trying to stay away from cliché's with this story but if you guys like that name I'll use it.

Other submissions were: 'Gentleman' Sabo, 'Wild Gentleman' Sabo, 'Top Hat' Sabo, 'Peacemaker' Sabo, 'Gunner Master' Sabo, 'Gentleman Sharpshooter' Sabo, 'Pistol-Whip' Sabo ("She's a rifle damn it!"), 'Dark Horse' Sabo, 'Noble Pirate' Sabo ("I ain't a noble!"), 'Riflegeist' Sabo and 'Daunting Debonair' Sabo

And finally, because the scene with Sabo and Koala practically wrote itself, my submission is Koala's nickname of 'Dandy Man' Sabo catching on. Google search 'Dandy Man' the images that come up are fancy dressed guys with top hats and Tubalcain Alhambra from Hellsing. It seemed to fit.

The poll is open on my profile page. Pick one of the fifteen choices. The power is yours!

Silver signing off

Edited 6-13-16


	22. Smoker

_**BROTHER ON BOARD**_

yuzukikuran476 - If they died here I wouldn't have much of a story.

x-EliteAssassin-x - Then be sure to vote. As of now Dandy Man is tied for second place.

411Purp0s3G4m3r - I think 'Riflegeist' is cool too. But it applies more to Bonnie than Sabo. Plus it's Nami's version of 'marimo' for Bonnie.

Lunapok - There will be more of Dragon and Koala in this chapter. But then we won't see them for a long time.

Gih-chii - I added them to the list. Looks like Mad Hatter got a couple votes despite Alice Through the Looking Glass bombing this past weekend.

Mikila94 - I kind of tried to write him somewhere similar to Garp. Garp is supposed to be a legendary Marine Hero but he got bested by Morgan because he fell asleep after gorging himself on too many doughnuts. But he's also super determined to get his way as seen with him insisting on Luffy becoming a Marine.

lostdog200 - And now the negative aspects of not having a username come into play. I'll always respond to your reviews just like you're a signed in user. But without a username you're not going to be able to vote. I know you previously mentioned something about the site not allowing you to create one. So unless you can get a friend to let you vote on their account... I'm afraid you're not going to be able to weigh in. And yes, Sabo is Bonnie's.

Guest - Thanks! Try to find a way to log in to an account and vote on the poll. Even if you don't sign in for reviews... this is the time to make your opinion known.

BedofRoses1989 - Yeah. I've got some really cool suggestions on there. Too bad I can only vote once. This story is mainly a comedy so I went with a humorous take on Dragon. Even if he does appear to be a 'serious character' I'm positive that he has a funny quirk in there somewhere. We just have to wait until we see it.

rasEnshur1EKen - Yes, Sabo could fire Bonnie and take out everyone on top of the scaffold. That's exactly why I'm having Sabo get mugged in a separate area of Loguetown so he can't interfere. He won't be showing up until its over.

Hiezen - Interesting. I'll try and take a look while I'm on my break. (Official announcement is at the end of the chapter)

AnyMoreBrightIdeasGenius - Thanks!

The Patient One - I am convinced that there will be some moment at some point in the series where Luffy and Dragon are finally together and everyone is like 'Yeah, they're definitely father and son'. My money's on when they're eating together and having a full conversation with their mouths full. So that's why I included the chicken bit. Luffy and Garp have both been known to have their serious and goofy moments. I'd like to think that Dragon has his One Piece quirk in there somewhere we haven't seen it yet because of our limited exposure to him. For now, I went with the standard D. determination by having him hound Sabo into joining his army. I don't mind the review style. But I'm going to keep responding in one blurb so I can keep my responses more organized.

Bluejay Blaze - Yup. I thought giving him Luffy 'persistent' recruiting style would be funny.

Shizuka Taiyou - I did add Dandy Man to the list of options on the poll. It currently ties for second place with four votes. I'm not sure what the process is exactly. I'm going with liquefying the fruit and pouring it on/in the weapon so it can be absorbed.

The Inkasters - WOW! Thanks for taking all that time to leave such a long and detailed review. I'm glad you like the story so far and I'm really hoping to improve my writing as it progresses. And the good news is, I don't plan on having Luffy turn dark. I don't plan on having him eat a second Devil Fruit, and I don't plan on having Luffy sleep with all the girls and pass them off to Sabo. Luffy is only just coming to grips with his hormones and Sabo is in a very devoted relationship with his rifle that briefly included Nojiko for a reason that will be explored later.

mundanebeast - I'm going to keep the poll open a while longer so I'll add your suggestion to the list.

Twilight DUsk - Ooo! Those are some really cool suggestions! I liked how you included Artful to play homage to the Artful Dodger. Adding them all to the list!

* * *

 **Smoker-**

"CAPTAIN SMOKER!" the square-faced Marine Petty Officer Masshikaku shouted as he ran into a hazy smoke-filled office in the Loguetown Marine Base. "IT'S AN EMERGENCY! THERE'S A SITUATION!"

 **Krata-krack!**

Smoker stared in disappointment as his rock stack crashed down on his desk. "Your shouting made it crumble in defeat…" Smoker stood up and opened the window behind his desk. The smoke drifted out the window and the hazy smokescreen that had filled the ground faded and left the office clear.

The Petty Officer stood nervously as he now realized that he was the focus of a hard stare from Marine Captain Smoker the infamous 'White Hunter'.

"Well… spit it out," Smoker growled around the lit cigars in his mouth.

"There are pirates in the town square!" Masshikaku exclaimed. "There aren't many of them but they're all big name fugitives. It's like all the worst pirates in the East Blue decided to join together! There's Buggy 'the Clown', Kuro 'of a Thousand Plans', 'One Two' Jango and 'Saw Tooth' Arlong! The only big names that are missing are 'Iron Mace' Alvida and 'Pirate Admiral' Don Krieg. They've all got 'Straw Hat' Luffy cornered on the execution scaffold!"

"Who?" Smoker asked.

"'Straw Hat' Luffy... he was in the news yesterday," Masshikaku explained.

"You know I don't read the World Government's propaganda rag," Smoker reminded him.

"Well… it said that Straw Hat worked with the Marines to arrest all of those pirates!"

"If they were all arrested… what're they doing in the square?" Smoker inquired.

"I… I don't know," Masshikaku admitted.

"That's why you can't believe everything that you read in the newspaper," Smoker pointed out as he stood up and put on his signature white coat which had a large assortment of cigars strapped to the arms and stuffed in the pockets.

"What're we gonna do?" Masshikaku questioned.

"Send Unit One to the square and Unit Two to the harbor," Smoker ordered. "Have everyone else take up positions nearby so they're within shooting range. But don't do anything until I get there and give the order."

"But what about Straw Hat?" Mashikaku asked, "They're going to publicly execute him on the scaffold."

"If they're focused on that Straw Hat that means they're not attacking civilians," Smoker pointed out. "Anyone making sudden moves could spook them and then we'd be dealing with casualties and a hostage situation."

Masshikaku's square face went pale at the implication of civilian casualties and hostages.

"I haven't let a single pirate escape this town in all the time that I've been stationed here," Smoker said. "I gained that perfect record by working at my own pace. I don't rush into anything unless I know the full extent of the situation. It may be a who's-who of East Blue criminals out there… but I won't let any of them escape my town."

Captain Smoker headed out the door and made his way towards the square while Masshikaku rushed off to convey the Captain's orders to the marines that were already stationed there.

* * *

" _With three swords I feel whole again,"_ Zoro thought to himself as he aimlessly wandered through Loguetown with _Wado Ichimonji_ and his two new katana sheathed at his side. The whole shopping ordeal had been an interesting experience and it had all been because of _her_.

Zoro was searching for a store to by swords when he'd heard a commotion. He'd arrived in time to see a swordswoman skillfully dispatch two hulking brutish pirates and then trip over her own feet. Zoro had gone to help the woman get up when he discovered that she looked just like his dead childhood friend Kuina. The fact that she was a swordswoman made the similarities even clearer. Zoro had been so shocked that he'd accidentally crushed the girl's glasses.

Fortunately, Zoro had managed to temper her ire by paying off the damaged glasses with half the money that Nami had given him. The girl had been annoyed but had accepted the money and even gave Zoro directions to a sword shop.

When Zoro got the store the shifty salesman had attempted to buy his sword _Wado Ichimonji_ from him. But that was Kuina's katana and it held his promise to become the World's Greatest Swordsman. He wouldn't sell it for anything. Even for ten million berries that the Kuina clone claimed it was worth when she arrived.

The Kuina clone had helped Zoro find a quality katana but they soon discovered that it was cursed. The shifty salesman was forced to admit that the infamous _Kitetsu III_ and its two predecessors had led their wielders to an early demise. But Zoro tested his luck against the blade's curse and came out with his arm unscathed. He decided to buy it. The shifty shop keeper had been so impressed that he not only gave Zoro the cursed blade for free but he'd also given Zoro his shop's best sword _Yubashiri_ as a gift.

" **Oh look, there's Zoro."**

Zoro was drawn out of his memory when he saw that by some random coincidence he'd met Nami, Usopp and Sanji at the same cross street. The others had apparently been together. Usopp and Sanji were carrying Sanji's Blue-Finned Elephant Tuna between them while Nami had a bag stuffed full of clothes.

"Oh, so there you guys are," Zoro noted. "But where are the other two?"

" **AAAAHH!"**

Just then a terrified crowd of civilians came running passed the Straw Hats from the square.

"PIRATES! PIRATES ARE ATTACKING THE SQUARE! SOMEONE CALL CAPTAIN SMOKER!"

"Pirates…" Sanji repeated.

As one, the four Straw Hats turned and stared down Main Street towards the execution scaffold. They spotted the familiar figure stuck in a chopping block on top of the scaffold.

"IT'S HIM!" they exclaimed.

"Buggy!" Zoro growled as he recognized the blue haired clown.

"Arlong…" Nami gasped and went pale.

"Kuro and Jango are there too!" Usopp added.

"I've gotta admit, I have no idea who most of those guys are," Sanji confessed. "But it sounds like most of your enemies teamed up to get revenge against Luffy. Good thing Krieg's not there."

"We've gotta help him," Zoro resolved as he took off running.

"I… uh… I just remembered that I left something on the ship!" Usopp announced.

"Come on long nose!" Sanji called out as he ran after Zoro. Usopp was left staggering under the entire Blue Finned Elephant Tuna. "Against all those guys we'll need all the help we can get!"

"Damn it!" Usopp cursed as he followed after the other two while lugging the huge fish along with him. "What am I supposed to do with this fish?"

"GUYS! WAIT!" Nami yelled as she chased after them. "I DIDN'T GET TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE STORM!"

"What now?" Zoro growled.

"I felt a massive drop in air pressure coming in!" Nami hastily explained. "We're gonna be in the middle of a massive storm in a couple of minutes. You can already see the dark clouds at the edge of town!"

"Just what we needed," Sanji grumbled.

"Hey guys," Usopp said, "Has anyone seen Sabro?"

* * *

"Urk… urk…" Sabo grunted. His face was bright red as he dangled ten feet off the ground and struggled with the whip around his neck. Not to remove it but to keep it from hanging him like a noose.

Mohji sneered down at him as he held the whip's handle up on a third floor balcony.

"You see, Sabo?" Alvida asked as she stood below him with her foot pressed down on Bonnie Anne. "Your rifle's bullets are all useless against me. She can't save you. Only I can."

"Hey… about that…" Sabo wheezed, "Random question… but if your shiny new Devil Fruit Powers… urk… make everything slide off of you… unghh… how are your clothes still on?"

Alvida raised an eyebrow, "Naughty boy. For your information, when I'm wearing something it's immune to my powers. Buut… if you choose me over the rifle… I could always slip out of my clothes anyway. I've got a body now that your little toy could never hope to have."

"She might not even have a body …" Sabo admitted, "Ugghh… but at least she's got some dignity and self-respect."

Alvida's eyes narrowed and she glared up at Sabo. "So you pick the rifle…"

"Her name is Bonnie Anne, damn it!" Sabo insisted, "And I'll always ughhn… always pick her."

"Even though I'm about to smash her into tiny pieces?" Alvida challenged him.

Sabo glared down at Alvida. "Ever since we… uurk… started dating Bonnie's been nothing but loyal and… uugghh… supportive. I'm not going to throw that back in her face by… uunnaahh… breaking her heart just because you've got me… nngggh… in a bad situation. This whole plan of yours… urk… was doomed from the start. Ugh… _Bonnie_ would never try to kill me to get her way…"

Alvida's pretty face took on an ugly sneer. "You know what? I changed my mind. I'm not gonna smash your rifle." She tossed her mace aside. "I'm not even going to kill you." Alvida reached down and picked up Bonnie Anne… then aimed the rifle at Sabo. "Your precious Bonnie is going to be the one to break _your heart_ by putting a bullet through it! Then she'll just have to live with that fact that she murdered the only person crazy enough to give a damn about her."

* * *

" **Captain Smoker!"** The Marine Captain turned to see Zoro's 'Kuina clone' Master Chief Petty Officer Tashigi come running towards him. "I heard there was a—"

 **THUNK!**

The over-eager officer tripped over a loose stone in the street and fell on her hands and knees.

Smoker shook his head, "Tashigi, where have you been?"

"Sorry, I'm late, sir," Tashigi replied as she stood back up and dusted herself off. "I was picking up my sword _Shigure_ from the shop and lost track of time."

"Of course," Smoker sighed with a roll of his eyes.

"I heard there was a situation in the square and came straight here," Tashigi said. "What's going on?"

"Apparently some infamous pirates teamed up and are planning executing someone called 'Straw Hat' on the scaffold," Smoker explained as they continued towards the square.

"Straw Hat?" Tashigi repeated. "I read about him in yesterday's paper. That crew took down the worst villains in the East Blue and left them for the Marines to apprehend. They beat 'Saw Tooth' Arlong, 'Pirate Admiral' Don Krieg, Kuro 'of a Thousand Plans' and Buggy 'the Clown'."

"Well most of those names you mentioned are out in the square holding the execution," Smoker said as he led the way up a set of stairs to a balcony that overlooking the square. A unit of snipers were already stationed there awaiting orders.

"Wait… all of them are—" Tashigi lost her footing on the top step and nearly fell on her face.

 **THUNK!**

"I'm okay!" Tashigi announced as she scrambled back up, "That's my bad, sir."

"I can't help but notice that you're a bit clumsier than normal," Smoker noted.

"I'm wearing my spare glasses, sir," Tashigi told him. "Some lunkhead swordsman crushed my good pair. He gave me money to pay for a new set but it'll still take some time to get them. I'll be fine, sir."

"Just as long as you're not tripping over yourself when the fighting starts," Smoker replied.

"What's the plan?" Tashigi asked. "Are we going to help Straw Hat?"

"You know my policy on pirates," Smoker reminded her. "They can't be trusted. The newspaper may depict him as our ally. But I know better. The World Government wants their share of the credit but they're purposely ignoring the fact that these pirates could potentially become even worse than all the pirates they've beaten."

"So… we're just going to wait?" Tashigi asked as she looked off the balcony at the scaffold.

"Once Straw Hat's head rolls… _then_ we'll arrest the others," Smoker resolved. Tashigi didn't look thrilled with the plan but nodded and didn't object to the Commanding Officer's orders.

* * *

Buggy, Cabaji, Kuro, Jango, Morgan and Arlong were all standing around the chopping block on top of the scaffold.

Kuro casually glanced up at the balconies surrounding the square and saw the marine snipers.

"They're here," Kuro informed the others, "You're up Jango."

The hypnotist struggled but managed to climb up so he was standing on top of Luffy's chopping block where everyone's attention was focused and starting to swing his ring.

"When I say 'One Two Jango' you will all freeze in place unable to move!" Jango called out.

"Eyes down!" Kuro advised. He, Morgan, Cabaji and Arlong all looked down at their feet to avoid being hypnotized.

"ONE… TWO… JAAANGOOOOO!"

All at once, the lingering civilians, the observing marines, Luffy, Buggy and Jango himself were all froze in place from Jango's hypnotism.

Cabaji smacked the frozen Buggy on the back of the head, "Snap out of it Captain!"

"Hh… what happened?" Buggy grunted. Then he spotted the frozen crowd. "OH! I LOVE A CAPTIVE AUDIENCE! LET'S GET ON WITH THE SHOW!" Buggy yanked the frozen Jango down off of the scaffold and took his place. "STRAW HAT LUFFY YOU ARE…" Buggy trailed off when he looked down and realized that Luffy had been frozen by Jango's hypnotism. "HEY! WAKE UP, YOU IDIOT! THIS IS _MY_ FLASHY PLAN FOR REVENGE AND IT'S _YOUR_ EXECUTION! YOU CAN'T SLEEP THROUGH IT!"

Buggy stomped on the top of Luffy's head to snap him out of his trance.

 **TONK!**

"Huh? Oh… right… the execution," Luffy said, "I'm not gonna die here… I'M GONNA BE KING OF THE PIRATES!"

"NOT LIKELY!" Buggy yelled at him. "YOU'RE GONNA DIE RIGHT HERE JUST LIKE HE DID! STRAW HAT LUFFY: YOU'VE BEEN CHARGED WITH FOILING OUR PLANS, DESTROYING OUR CREWS, BEING A DISGUSTINGLY NOBLE DO-GOODER AND PISSING ME OFF! FOR THESE CRIMES, I, AND A JURY OF YOUR PIRATE PEERS, SENTENCE YOU TO DEATH!"

" **STOP THE EXECUTION!"**

The evil alliance stared across the square and saw Zoro and Sanji running towards the scaffold.

"IT'S THE PIRATE HUNTER AND… and…" Buggy trailed off. "That's not Top Hat… Who's the blonde?"

"I've never seen him," Kuro admitted.

"And _I_ don't care," Arlong added, "All you humans mostly look the same to me."

"I'll take care of this," Kuro resolved. He drew two the two swords he'd taken to carrying around to replace his broken claws and leapt off the scaffold.

 **SKIIISSSSHH…**

Kuro dragged his swords down the metal scaffold to slow his descent and landed in front of it then rushed at Zoro and Sanji.

"You're too late to save your friend, Pirate Hunter," the former butler called out, "But you're just in time to see him killed." Kuro lunged at the two Straw Hats and lashed out his swords.

 **KLANG!**

 **SKISH!**

Zoro blocked both blades with his two new swords while Sanji jumped clear over Kuro.

"Thanks for giving me an opportunity to test out my new swords," Zoro said as he and Kuro started to trade lightning fast sword strikes.

"I'M COMING LUFFY!" Sanji called out as he dashed the scaffold and started to jump up it.

 **FWIP!**

"HEY, NOT SO FAST!" Buggy called out as he pointed his sword at Sanji when he flipped up onto the top of the scaffold.

Sanji dropped onto his hands and kicked Buggy's sword away with one foot then kept spinning and kicked the clown in the face with his other foot.

 **THWAK-WHAK!**

"WAAAAH!" Buggy screamed as he was sent flying off the scaffold.

"YAY SANJI!" Luffy cheered.

"Alright, who's next?" Sanji asked the four enemies that remained.

"DAMN HUMAN PEST!" Arlong growled as he surged forward.

Sanji swung his leg at Arlong for a kick, "COLLIER SHOOT!"

 **WHAK!**

Arlong blocked Sanji's high kick with his forearm then lashed out and kicked him in the stomach.

 **THWHAM!**

The cook went flying off the scaffold after Buggy.

Arlong turned to Luffy, "Since the clown and the schemer are gone… I guess it falls on me to continue your execution, rubber brat."

"Oh, Arlong!" Luffy greeted him. "Did you actually make some human friends? Good for you."

"THESE HUMANS ARE _NOT_ MY FRIENDS!" Arlong roared.

 **SPECIAL ATTACK… EXPLODING STAR!"**

Three projectiles flew across the square and stuck Arlong's back.

 **KA-BOOOM-BOOOM-BOOOM!**

Arlong was caught off guard as the ammo exploded and blasted him over the chopping block.

"IT'S LONG NOSE!" Jango exclaimed when he spotted Usopp and Nami at the far edge of the square. "HE'S THE ONE THAT RUINED MY LIFE! I CAN'T DANCE NOW BECAUSE OF HIM!"

"Good grief…" Morgan muttered.

Cabaji stepped forward and picked up the sword Buggy had dropped. "Then I'll cut off his nose and bring it back for you."

 **SKISH!**

The acrobat launched himself off the scaffold with an impressive series of four flips then charged across the square.

* * *

Captain Smoker and his marines had all been caught off guard by Jango's hypnotism and were all frozen.

Master Chief Petty Officer Tashigi's eyes widened behind her glasses when she saw the familiar green haired swordsman charge into the square and start facing off with the infamous Captain Kuro.

"IT'S HIM!" Tashigi exclaimed. "HE'S THE PIRATE HUNTER AND HE'S ONE OF STRAW HAT'S CREW! Captain Smoker, that's the man…" Tashigi trailed off. "Oh, you're still frozen." It took a second but then she realized something much more important. "WAIT! I'M _NOT_ FROZEN!"

Tashigi drew her sword, "Sorry Captain, I know you said not to do anything. But I think the situation has changed now that everyone's frozen. Arlong and the other are all infamous killers… The Straw Hats beat them before… so I'm going to lend them a hand. I'm sorry but that's the best plan I can come up with."

Tashigi drew her sword and ran off to join the battle.

* * *

"WHO WOULD DARE TO ATTACK ME FROM BEHIND?" Arlong snarled as he pushed himself back up. He whirled around and glared across the square. "LONG NOSE…" The fishman's eyes widened when he spotted the familiar girl next to him. "And Nami…" Arlong glanced back at Morgan. "Forget this alliance. One of you buffoons should be able to finish off Straw Hat. _I've_ got an empire to rebuild."

 **SKISH!**

Arlong didn't even bother with a fancy flip. He jumped off the scaffold and landed in a crouch.

 **TMP!**

The infamous saw shark fishman shot off across the square towards his prey.

 **KLANG! KLANG!**

Zoro blocked strike after strike from Kuro's speedy dual sword offense.

"Oh crap!" Zoro cursed when he saw Cabaji raced passed him.

 **SWISH!**

Kuro vanished but Zoro spun around in time to block the dual strike to the back.

 **KLANG!**

But then he saw Arlong charge by him. "OH SHIT!" He called out to Usopp and Nami. "HEADS UP!"

"I don't even care who you are!" Buggy sneered at Sanji as he drew eight knives and held them between his fingers. "You made a big mistake attacking me! Now I'm gonna skewer you!"

"I'm Sanji and I'm the Ship's Cook," Sanji introduced himself. "For your information, I'm the last guy that's gonna be scared of a bunch of knives."

"YOU SHOULD BE!" Buggy called out, "CHOP… CHOP… CANNON!"

"WAAH!" Sanji yelped in surprise as Buggy's hand came off and shot towards him.

 **SWISH!**

But the cook managed to spin passed the knives to avoid the attack then swung his leg around and kicked Buggy's hand away from him.

 **THWAK!**

"So you've got Devil Fruit Powers," Sanji realized, "Big deal. I'm gonna kick that big red nose right off your face."

"WHAT ABOUT MY NOSE!?" Buggy roared.

"The storm's here…" Nami observed as she looked up at the dark, nearly black, clouds overhead.

"AND SO IS A CRAZY SWORDSMAN!" Usopp exclaimed. "BACK OFF! I'VE GOT A FISH!"

"A fish?" Cabaji repeated as he glared at Usopp. "And what are you going to do with that exactly?"

 **SWACK!**

Cabaji staggered back and stared incredulously at Usopp. "DID YOU JUST SLAP ME WITH A FISH!?"

"Ummm... no?" Usopp lied in a desperate attempt to deny the obvious.

"That's it!" Cabaji growled, "You're dead! I'll cut you into so many pieces... you'll give Captain Buggy a run for his money!"

" **HEADS UP!"**

Nami and Usopp jolted in surprise as a dark blue-haired marine swordswoman dashed between them.

 **KLANG!**

Tashigi parried Cabaji's sword then with one graceful movement that completely contradicted her clumsy nature, she lunged forward and slashed the acrobat across the chest.

 **SLASH!**

Cabaji went down and Tashigi turned to face Nami and Usopp, "Are you two members of the Straw Hat Pirates? What's going—"

 **WHAK!**

Tashigi was cut off when she was struck on the side by a big blue fist.

"Well if it isn't Nami," Arlong sneered. "I didn't think I'd ever see you again."

Nami paled at the sight of her long-time tormentor not only freed but standing right in front of her. Fight or flight instincts took over. She knew that she and Usopp couldn't beat him… so she dropped her bag of clothes, turned tail and ran for her life.

"I TOLD YOU THAT I'D NEVER LET YOU ESCAPE, GIRL!" Arlong shouted as he steamrolled Usopp and chased Nami out of the square.

"HEY!" Tashigi called out as she got back up in time to see the most wanted criminal in the East Blue chase a seemingly normal girl off through the streets of Loguetown that were no doubt packed with civilians. She joined the chase and raced after Arlong. "GET BACK HERE! YOU'RE UNDER ARREST!"

Back on top of the scaffold, Morgan watched the battles below him dispassionately as he made his way over to Luffy. "Typical pirates… impulsive bastards just run off to do whatever they want. Now it's up to me to carry out justice." Morgan pointed his ax-arm at Luffy. "Do you even remember me, Straw Hat?"

"Yeah," Luffy answered. "You're that lousy Marine Captain with the bastard son that almost made my friend Coby give up on his dream of becoming a marine!"

"It's because of you that I'm not longer a marine!" Morgan growled at him. "I lost my rank, I lost my reputation and I lost all the respect that I once had! The Marines tossed me in the brig with a bunch of cut-throat pirates like I was a common criminal. They completely forgot about my many years of service to the World Government _because of you_."

"Hey! I didn't make you a jerk!" Luffy retorted. "You did that yourself!"

"Well… as a former Marine Captain…" Morgan resolved, "I now sentence you to death!" Morgan was oblivious to the black storm clouds over his head as he raised his ax up above Luffy. "Any last words?"

"LUFFY!" Zoro growled as he held Kuro's two swords a bay.

"HOLD ON!" Sanji called out as he spun around Buggy's other hand.

"Did I just get hit by another boat?" Usopp wondered as he sat up. "YIPE!"

 **SWISH!**

Usopp rolled to the side just in time to avoid a spinning chakram thrown by Jango who had climbed down from the scaffold. "I can get revenge myself…"

"SABO! ZORO! SANJI! USOPP! NAMI!" Luffy called out the names of his crew with a smile on his face. "LOOKS LIKE I'M DEAD!"

* * *

"HE SMILED!" Captain Smoker gasped in utter shock. "Only one man's ever smiled in the face of death before… and he was executed on that same platform twenty-two years ago."

* * *

 **KA-THOOOOM!**

Lightning, drawn my Morgan raised axe, suddenly shot down out of the sky and struck the platform.

The entire scaffold was engulfed in blue flames as he it crumbled to the ground.

 **KRASH!**

Everyone in the square stopped and stared in shock as the rain from the storm started to fall.

Morgan laid charred and burned in the wreckage of the destroyed scaffold. But Luffy smiled widely as he reached down and picked up his hat. His rubber body had made him immune to the lightning.

"Looks like I survived!" Luffy exclaimed. "That was lucky!"

The dark clouds in the sky opened up and rain began to shower the town. The storm had begun.

* * *

"Any last words, darling?" Rain fell as Alvida called up to Sabo as rain started falling on them.

Sabo nodded. His face set in a determined grin. "I love you, Bonnie."

"Bastard!" Alvida spat before she pulled Bonnie's trigger.

 **KER-CHOW!**

Alvida was thrown off balance from Bonnie Anne's recoil but was able to steady herself enough to see Bonnie's round strike the left side of Sabo's chest.

 **BOING!**

Alvida's eyes went wide as the orange round bounced off of Sabo's chest instead of puncturing it then flew back the way it came and hit Alvida's white cowgirl hat dead center.

 **THUNK!**

Already off balance, the high-speed bullet to the head was the necessary push needed to knock Alvida off her feet.

 **THUD!**

Alvida hit the ground and Bonnie's handle jammed on the ground next to her which caused the rifle to fire again.

 **KER-CHOW!**

"GAAAH!" Mohji cried out as Bonnie's bullet tore through his side. His legs buckled and he barely managed to keep a hold on his whip. But that ended up being a bad idea because Sabo suddenly yanked down on the whip around his neck.

 **WHING!**

"WAAAH!" Mohji screamed as he was pulled over the balcony and started to plummet three stories.

 **Tmp!**

Sabo landed then spun to the side and used his hold on the whip to swing Mohji across the alley and smashed him into the stone wall on the other side.

 **WHAM!**

The Beast Tamer went limp and was unconscious before he hit the ground.

" **RAAAAAWWWHH!"**

Sabo spun around and saw Richie the lion charging at him. The Straw Hat Quartermaster casually picked up Alvida mace and used his considerable strength to toss it up overhead.

Richie reached him and Sabo shot his foot up and punted the lion in the jaw.

 **THWAK!**

Richie's head was snapped upward with such force that the lion was practically standing on his hind legs.

"YOU BASTARD!" Alvida screamed as she stood back up.

Sabo launched himself legs-first towards her. In one motion he managed to scoop Bonnie Anne up off of the ground and clip Alvida's legs with a kick to the boot as he slid passed.

 **THWAK!**

 **THUD!**

Alvida was knocked off balanced and fell on her face. She started to push herself back up when her iron mace plummeted from overhead and crashed down on Richie's head.

 **WHOMP!**

The huge lion was knocked out cold and fell forward… right on top of Alvida.

 **WHAM!**

Sabo finally pulled the whip off of his neck leaving behind a red ring then stood up with Bonnie tucked against his side and surveyed the fallen forms of Alvida, Mohji and Richie.

"I guess we can chalk this up as another win for Team SaBonnie," Sabo mused. He turned his head and kissed his girlfriend's nozzle. "Don't worry Bonnie. I'm yours. I always will be."

 **KER-CHOW!**

* * *

Sanji looked across the square at Zoro. "Do you believe in God?"

"Quit talking nonsense," Zoro replied as he drew his third katana and put the handle in his mouth. "Let's finish this."

"Good idea," Kuro said then he vanished.

 **KLANG!**

Zoro spun around and blocked the attack. "I've been meaning to tell you… you're a lot slower than you were last time."

Kuro glared at him, "That's because YOU STABBED ME IN THE FOOT!"

"Oh, so you're still sore about that, huh?" Zoro asked. "Then you're gonna hate this… TATSU MAKI!" Zoro spun around and slashed all three of his swords.

 **SWISH-SWISH!**

Kuro was sent flying up into the air by the high speed tornado but then he started to drop.

Zoro launched himself at Kuro and lashed out with his three swords, "TORA GARI"

 **SLIKA-SLICE!**

When Kuro finally hit the ground… he was unconscious.

"By the way," Zoro added, "Without those claws of yours… you're a lousy swordsman."

"I guess its up to me to salvage my flashy plan," Buggy resolved. He stomped his feet which caused a knife to come out from the toe of his clown shoes.

"Just how many knives do you have?" Sanji wondered.

"MORE THAN ENOUGH TO KILL YOU!" Buggy yelled. "CHOP… CHOP… RICECRACKER!" Buggy's legs separated from Buggy's torso and spun sideways towards Sanji's like a big buzzsaw.

Sanji charged at Buggy's legs completely unafraid of the spinning knives. He jumped up and planted his foot on the middle of Buggy's buzzsaw and used it as a springboard to launch himself up into the air.

 **SKISH!**

"Whubba?" Buggy gaped in surprise then looked up.

Sanji did a series of flips as he came flying down and drove the heel of his shoe into Buggy's face. "CONCASSÉ!"

 **THWHAM!**

Buggy's top half was driven hard into the ground and the clown's other floating pieces dropped as he lost consciousness.

"Well that was... something..." Sanji remarked as he stared at Buggy's pieces. "I guess I should've expected Luffy to have a crazy assortment of villains to go with his crew of crazy people."

"YOU TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME!" Jango yelled at Usopp. "BECAUSE OF YOU I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO DANCE AGAIN!"

"Well… I'm sorry about your dancing," Usopp called back to him. "But I'm definitely not gonna apologize for what I did. You were threatening to kill everyone that I care about. You had it coming."

"And you've got _this_ coming!" Jango insisted. "I'll cut you in half! But first… my advantage." Jango held his hypno-ring up in front of himself. "When I say 'One Two Jango'… I will become impervious to pain. I will feel nothing. I will be unstoppable."

"Wait… he's hypnotizing _himself_?" Usopp realized. He pulled a special projectile out and aimed his slingshot waiting to fire at just the right moment.

"ONE… TWO… JAAAAA—UUURRK!" Jango suddenly gagged when Usopp's round flew into his opened mouth. "Uuuggh… uuugghh…" Jango's face turned bright red. "What… what did you… oooh nooo… SPIIIIICCCYYYYYY! TOOOO HOOOOOOT! WAAAAAAHHH!"

 **FWOOSH!**

Flames shot up out of Jango's mouth and he streamed out in pain.

Usopp loaded another batch of rounds into his slingshot and fired. "SPECIAL ATTACK… LEAD STAR!"

Jango was in no position to decent himself. The three pachinko balls struck him right in the chest.

 **THUNK-THUNK-THUNK!**

Jango fell on his back unconscious.

"Hahaha! My new Hot Salsa Star worked like a charm!" Usopp boasted. "Thanks for testing it out for me!"

"WOW! Nice job guys!" Luffy exclaimed. He glanced around him and saw the fallen assortment of their unconscious enemies. Morgan, Cabaji, Kuro, Buggy and Jango were all out cold. "Hey… what happened to Arlong?"

* * *

Nami ran like the devil was after her. She made a sharp turn down an alley. She knocked over crates and barrels. She did everything she could to slow down the monster chasing her. She'd finally gotten free from his grasp and she wasn't going back!

" **HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!"** Tashigi was suddenly standing at the other end of the alley.

"How did you?" Nami wondered as she stared at the marine in surprise.

"I took a shortcut," Tashigi answered. "I know this town like the back of my hand. Now get out of here." Nami nodded and darted passed Tashigi out of the alley.

Arlong stopped when he saw the blue-haired woman barring his path. "And who are you supposed to be."

"'Saw Tooth' Arlong… I'm Master Chief Petty Officer Tashigi of the Loguetown Marines," Tashigi stated. "You're under arrest."

 **WHAP!**

Arlong grabbed Tashigi's sword with his webbed hand and used his hold on it to swing the marine over his shoulder as he turned around and slammed her to the ground.

 **WHAM!**

"Uuugghh…" Tashigi groaned as she was nearly embedded in the ground.

 **Tnk! THWAK!**

Arlong stepped on the blade of Tashigi's katana with one foot and punted her in the side with the other effectively separating the swordswoman from her sword.

Nami stopped in her tracks and turned to look behind her. The sight of the young marine woman disarmed and lying on the ground at Arlong's feet brought up all too familiar unpleasant memories.

Back then she had been helpless to do anything to keep Arlong from murdering her mother.

"Uugghhh…" Tashigi groaned as she rolled onto her stomach and attempted to crawl away from Arlong.

 **TOMP!**

Arlong drove his foot down into the woman's back to pin her in place. "You know… back when I had my empire I had a pretty standard policy for dealing with the Marines. I'd offer the new faces money to turn around and leave. If they refused… I killed them. Unfortunately for you, I don't have any money to try and bribe you with... so I'm just going to have to kill you."

"GET THE HELL OFF OF HER!"

 **WHACK!**

Arlong was struck across the back by a bow-staff. He lurched forward slightly from the blow that had contained all of Nami's hatred and anger. But then he straightened up and shook off the attack like it hadn't even happened.

"That was foolish Nami," Arlong remarked. "You really should know better than that."

"BITE ME, BASTARD!" Nami spat. Probably a poor choice of words since Arlong was a shark fishman. But Nami didn't stay to deliberate. She turned and ran off again.

"Grrr…" Arlong snarled and barreled after her.

Nami grinned faintly. Bellemere hadn't known what atrocities Arlong was capable of committing. Tashigi didn't either. But Nami did. She'd seen that monster's power during her eight years of servitude. She also knew that Arlong wanted her alive to keep drawing maps. So if _anyone_ could handle Arlong… it was her.

Nami made another sharp turn and bolted down another alley.

"ENOUGH OF THIS! SHARK ON DARTS!"

 **SHOOOM!**

Nami held like she'd been hit by a cannonball as Arlong slammed into her and knocked her to the ground. He casually grabbed her by the throat then lifted her up into the air and slammed her back against the alley wall.

"Did you really think you could get away, Nami?" Arlong taunted. "Straw Hat may have beaten me… but he's dead now. It was a setback. We're going to have to start again. For now its just you and me, kid. We're gonna start from scratch and recreate the Arlong Empire."

" **Excuse me… do you need help?"**

Arlong and Nami turned to see a big eyed woman with light brown hair standing at the other end of the alley. Nami shook her head and tried to warn the other woman away. But the big eyed girl either didn't see her or didn't care as she came closer.

"Oh my gosh! Arlong? Is that you?"

Arlong blinked in surprise. "Do I know you?"

"It's me, Koala," the young revolutionary reminded him. "I know it's been a long time and I look a lot different now… but years ago I was on your ship with the original Sun Pirates. I was there with you and Jinbe and Tiger."

"You…" Arlong gasped. But then his eyes narrowed. "YOOUUU…" He dropped Nami and she slid down the wall to the ground. Arlong turned and advanced on Koala. "YOU KILLED MY BROTHER, YOU LITTLE HUMAN BITCH!"

Koala's face took on a sad frown. "So you do remember me..."

"I'LL KILL YOU!" Arlong roared as he charged the young woman.

Koala waved her hands in front of her like they were webbed then she clenched them into fists. She did a quick spin and swung her fist up into the charging Arlong's jaw.

 **POW!**

Arlong's head snapped upward and he staggered backwards. But he regained his balance and glared at Koala. "That was the Undersea Uppercut… YOU DARE USE FISHMAN KARATE AGAINST A FISHMAN!?"

Arlong swung at Koala with a closed fist but Koala lashed out and deflected it.

 **WHAK!**

Koala spun around and delivered a back elbow to Arlong's exposed stomach.

 **WHAM!**

Arlong doubled over and Koala followed up with another uppercut.

 **POW!**

Arlong snapped back up straight. Nami could only sit and watch in astonishment as her longtime tormentor was outright dismantled by a girl half his size.

Once again Koala swung her hands in front of her like they were webbed before she formed a fist and delivered a powerful punch. "TWO THOUSAND TILE TRUE PUNCH!"

 **KA-POW!**

Arlong went flying all the way out of the alley and landed on his back in the middle of the street. He was out cold.

Koala turned to Nami, "Sorry about that… the two of us have some history. But he was always rather cruel to me. Looks like that hasn't changed. UGHN!"

Koala was startled when Nami threw herself at her and hugged the older girl for all she was worth.

"THANK YOU _SO MUCH_!"

Koala smiled and patted Nami on the back. "No problem."

* * *

 **FLOOOOM!**

Smoke suddenly filled the square and obscured everything from view.

"HEY? WHAT HAPPENED?"

" **I happened."**

The smoke cleared to reveal Captain Smoker sitting on Luffy's back with the handle of his jitte pressed into the back of his neck.

"The name's Smoker," Smoker stated. "I'm the Captain of the Marines here."

"Oh so _now_ you show up," Zoro growled, "As usual the Marines don't arrive until the fight's over."

"I was waiting to see who won that fight of yours," Smoker said. He decided not to mention that he'd been hypnotized. "My plan from the beginning was to wait it out and capture whoever survived."

"Wait… you're arresting us?" Sanji asked. "We did your job for you."

"But from where I'm sitting you're still pirates," Smoker pointed out.

"Hold on!" Usopp exclaimed. "Before we go anywhere, I wanna speak to my lawyer!"

"Your what?" Smoker questioned.

"My… OUR QUARTERMASTER!" Usopp clarified. "Sabo'll sort this out."

"Luffy, you okay down there?" Zoro asked.

"I don't… feel so good…" Luffy admitted.

"That's because I'm touching you with the handle of my jitte," Smoker explained. "It's Sea Prism Stone. It mimics the effect of the sea on Devil Fruit Users and renders them helpless. I saw you survive getting struck by that lightning… so I figured you had some kind of power. You're not going anywhere. And I saw the rest of you all risk your lives trying to save your Captain here… so that means none of you are going anywhere either. But I'm willing to wait until this Quartermaster of yours arrives to try and talk me out of arresting you. At the very least, I'll be able to throw him in prison along with the rest of you."

* * *

" **That was a close one."**

Sabo turned around and saw Dragon behind him. "What're you doing here?"

"I was watching everything from the roof," Dragon answered.

"WAIT!" Sabo exclaimed. "You were there this whole time… AND YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING? I could've been killed! I thought you wanted me to join your army?"

"If you died in minor situation like that then I _don't_ want you on my army," Dragon replied. "But since you survived… I still do. That's a great gun you've got there."

"Don't I know it," Sabo said as he tucked Bonnie Anne into his coat to protect her from the rain. "Actually… I need to grab something…"

Dragon watched as Sabo knocked on the speakeasy door to the storehouse. Bullet-head opened the door and Sabo slipped in passed him.

He came out a moment later with ten boxes of rubber bullets. "I'm definitely stocking up on these." Sabo stuffed his extra ammo in his crate.

"By the way… that brother of yours found his way to the scaffold," Dragon informed him. "But he was nearly executed while he was there."

"WHAT?" Sabo exclaimed. "WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING SOONER?" With Bonnie still pinned to his side inside his coat, Sabo picked up his ammo crate and ran off.

Dragon smirked and followed him.

* * *

"I can't believe you beat up Arlong," Nami confessed as she and Koala stood over the fallen fishman. "I've always dreamed of doing that. Did you really beat him with Fishman Karate?"

"Yup, I was trained by a level one hundred black belt," Koala informed her. "I graduated training and now I'm actually going to be his assistant instructor."

Nami glanced curiously at Koala, "Did you... actually kill his brother?"

Koala's smile shifted into a frown. "Not directly. But I was the cause of his death. I still feel bad about it sometimes." Nami looked Koala up and down. "Can I help you with something?"

"Sorry, I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that Arlong just gotten knocked out cold by a girl half his size," Nami explains. "Actually... you're outfit reminds me of a friend of mine. He wears old styles clothing like yours."

Koala's smile returned, "Does this friend of yours wear a blue coat and a top hat and carry around a rifle?"

"Yup, that's him," Nami confirmed. "You met him?"

"Briefly," Koala admitted, "Some creepy hotel guy thought we were a couple and tried to send us to a Love Hotel. I didn't even know they had those here."

"Heehee…" Nami giggled faintly, "I bet his girlfriend didn't like that. Anyway… I'm no fashion expert but your outfit seems to be missing something. I'd suggest accessorizing by adding a hat to complete your outfit. Something colorful. Oh, and put some goggles around like Sabo's."

"I'll keep that in mind," Koala agreed.

" **Oi, Nami!"**

Nami and Koala turned to see Sabo and the cloaked Dragon.

"Sabo!"

"Boss! Dandy Man!"

Nami smirked as she looked over at Koala. "Dandy Man?"

"Oh great…" Sabo grumbled as he came closer, "Now she knows that nickname…" Sabo stopped and looked down at Arlong. "Nami, did you beat up Arlong?"

"Nope, that was my new best friend here," Nami answered as she threw her arm over Koala's shoulders.

"I was trained by a level one hundred black belt in Fishman Karate," Koala informed him.

"You could receive similar training if you joined my army," Dragon prodded Sabo.

"I've already got my own style that I'm perfectly happy with, thank you," Sabo replied in a clipped tone.

" **Hey, are you okay?"**

They all turned to see Tashigi staggering towards them.

Dragon turned and hurried off. Koala went pale. "I was never here. If you think you owe me anything then you can repay it by telling her that he…" Koala pointed at Sabo, "…beat Arlong when she asks." Koala turned and hurried off after her boss.

"Who was that guy?" Nami asked.

"Koala's boss?" Sabo suggested. Nami folded her arms across her chest. "Look, they're trying to be incognito. I shouldn't spoil it. Let's just say he's an adult Luffy."

Nami raised an eyebrow, "Are you saying that's what Luffy could look like in another twenty years? 'Cause he was pretty hot."

"GAAH! Why would you say that!?" Sabo exclaimed.

"Because not being told things annoys me and I knew saying it would annoy you," Nami answered smugly just as Tashigi reached them.

"Okay… who was that and what happened?" Tashigi demanded.

"He beat Arlong," Nami dutifully lied.

"Wait… I've seen your picture," Tashigi realized. She raised her glasses off her eyes and leaned in to stare at Sabo. "Oh, that's right. You're Quartermaster Sabo from the Straw Hat Pirates."

"That's me," Sabo confirmed. "What's this I hear about Luffy being in trouble?"

"A bunch of our enemies teamed up and jumped Luffy at the scaffold," Nami explained. "Buggy was there, Kuro and Jango were there, Arlong, and even Marine Captain Morgan."

"That explains why I got jumped by Alvida," Sabo reasoned. "I'd better head back to the square to make sure. Um…" Sabo glanced at his crate then down at Arlong. "I don't suppose you two could…"

"Fine, grab a leg," Nami instructed Tashigi. "I've always wanted to turn him in to the Marines."

"Right," Tashigi agreed as she and Nami each grabbed one of Arlong's legs and started to drag him back to the square. "And um… thanks for knocking him off of me before."

"No problem," Nami assured her, "I didn't want to see this bastard kill another good marine."

"You know him?" Tashigi inquired. "Well... of course you do... he chased you halfway across Loguetown..."

"He murdered my mother in front of me when I was ten," Nami interrupted the Marine's babbling. "She was a former marine. Then he branded me like a slave and forced me to serve on his crew for eight years. He held my village and every other village on my island hostage so I couldn't run away. He paid off the Marines and they ignored everything. It wasn't until I met Luffy and Sabo that he was finally defeated and sent to prison. But three days later… here he is again."

"I… I'm sorry," Tashigi apologized.

"It's behind me now," Nami told her. "I'll be happy if I never have to see him again."

"I see," Tashigi said as they continued onward.

* * *

The rain was still falling in the square. Buggy, Cabaji, Kuro, Jango and Morgan had all been carted off to the Loguetown Prison.

" **Captain Smoker! We've got Arlong!"**

Everyone looked up to see Sabo, Nami and Tashigi arrive with the unconscious Arlong in tow.

"You…" Zoro grunted as he eyed the swordswoman.

"What's going on?" Sabo asked as he eyed the Marine Captain sitting on his brother.

"You and your crew are under arrest for being pirates," Smoker stated. "I've never let a single pirate leave this town in the time I've been stationed here."

"Meanwhile… you ignored… everything else…" Luffy mumbled.

"From the looks of things we saved your town," Sabo pointed out.

"Those pirates wouldn't have been here if they hadn't come to get revenge against you," Smoker said. "You protected yourselves. Not the people here."

"Okay, then how 'bout the people we protected the _first time_ we beat them?" Sabo asked.

"Buggy was blowing up houses in Orange Town when we got there," Zoro stated.

"Kuro was going to have his crew attack my neighbors and murder my friend so he could inherit her estate," Usopp added.

"He's not here now but Don Krieg attacked my restaurant," Sanji stated. "Do you know what 'Foul Play' Krieg would have done with the Baratie as his ship?"

"Arlong enslaved my entire island so he could create his empire," Nami said.

"Tashigi… you were involved in the situation," Smoker commented, "What are your thoughts?"

Tashigi stared at Nami for a moment then looked over at Sabo and then Zoro and finally Luffy. "I think we should let them go. I didn't beat Arlong. I didn't do anything. Arlong's a monster. _They_ brought him down. They did what we were supposed to when they beat him for the second time in three days while we did nothing! If anything these pirates should be _rewarded_ for their services."

"You could always treat us like bounty hunters," Sabo suggested.

"The only problem with that is your Captain loudly shouted that he wants to be King of the Pirates while he was on the scaffold," Smoker stated. "Do you have any idea what it implies for someone to get away with doing that in _this town_ and on _that scaffold_ of all places? My job is to arrest dangerous criminals."

"And you think _Luffy_ is dangerous?" Sabo inquired.

"He's the most dangerous criminal in the East Blue," Smoker insisted. "On the execution scaffold… he did something that scared the hell outta me. He smiled in the face of death. I was there twenty-two years ago when the Pirate King Gold Roger did the same thing on that same platform. I can't in good conscience let a pirate like him reach the Grand Line."

"Like him? What's that supposed to mean?" Sabo challenged him. "You'd rather arrest a pirate with morals similar to yours that believes in his dream instead of the vicious thieves and murderers that we beat here today? I can assure you, once we get to the Grand Line we'll keep doing the same thing. We'll take down the crooked criminals, help the people that need it and follow our moral compass."

"I think we can trust them, Captain," Tashigi spoke up. "But… just to be sure… I have an idea. I'll be right back…" Tashigi darted off and had a quick conversation with some marines that were loitering nearby waiting for Smoker's orders. The marines came over and took Arlong away while Tashigi held up the Transponder Snail that she'd gotten from them. "Take this."

Tashigi handed the Transponder Snail over to Nami.

"With this we'll be able to keep in touch," Tashigi explained. "We can use it to check in on you and you can use it if you're ever in a situation where you need marine backup."

"You're not... telling us… what to do…" Luffy insisted.

"Really? You're going to fight the nice lady that's going to let us go?" Usopp growled at him.

"We're free pirates… they don't… decide our course…"

"Luffy… they have no way of telling us where to go," Sabo informed him. "With this snail… we can be friends with them."

Luffy's eyes widened and he nodded, "That's okay then. They're good people."

"You're actually saying that even though I've been sitting on you talking about arresting you this whole time?" Smoker questioned.

"You're trying to protect people based on your morals and beliefs… that's what I do."

Smoker finally stood up. "Fine. The World Government actually printed that article so that tells me they're giving you a chance. I'll do the same thing. But don't make me regret it. You kids screw up in the Grand Line and there _will be_ Marines coming after you."

"And on that note, let's get outta here!" Sabo called out. The Straw Hats turned to leave.

 **SHINK!**

Tashigi drew _Shigure_ and blocked Zoro's path. She gave the swordsman a meaningful look. "I'm going to take a chance and trust you with _Wado Ichimonji, Kitetsu III_ and _Yubashiri_. Don't betray that. Fight for peace like _Wado Ichimonji's_ name implies."

"I'll follow my Captain's lead and use this sword to achieve my dream like you and I… uh… the other you… _she_ and I promised."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Tashigi demanded. "Other me? I've only ever been myself!"

Sabo popped up between the two with a shit-eating grin. "And what have we here? Zoro, you've found a nice girl that took the time to learn the names of all three of your swords… and you're insulting her?"

"I'm not insulting… she's…" Zoro stammered. "She picked them out."

"So this nice girl helped you pick out your new swords and was the one that told you their names… and you're insulting her…" Sabo clarified. "Now I understand why you spend so much time criticizing my relationship. It's to cover up the fact that you can't talk to women."

"I CAN TALK TO WOMAN!" Zoro barked. "ITS HER AND HER FACE THAT WEIRDS ME OUT!"

"MY FACE?" Tashigi shrieked. "ARE YOU SAYING MY FACE IS WEIRD!"

At this point Zoro didn't see how he could salvage the conversation that was rapidly spiraling out of his control. He blamed Sabo. And Kuina clone. And Sanji who was standing there silently for good measure. "You know what? Yes. Yes. I am." Tashigi shrieked in indignation as Zoro stomped passed.

"What're you still doing here?" Smoker asked. "This storm is only going to get worse and it looks like it'll last a while. My unit in the harbor's been called back in. They won't give you trouble. If you to have any chance of getting to the Grand Line… you'd better leave now. "

"THANKS FOR THE TIP!" Sabo called out as he picked up his crate and ran off.

"BYE SMOKEY!" Luffy shouted.

"Luffy, Sabro, Zoro, wait up!" Usopp cried as he ran after them carrying Sanji's fish. "This fish is heavy!"

Nami surprised Tashigi with a sudden hug. "I always liked strong marine women. Thanks." She ran off after the others but stopped briefly to pick up the sack of clothes that she'd dropped.

"I think your face I beautiful," Sanji assured Tashigi as he took her hand and planted a quick kiss on the back of it. "Farewell."

"Goodbye Straw Hats…" Smoker said as he watched them run off.

" **Well done, Smoker."**

Smoker spun around to see Dragon standing behind him. "YOU! The world is after your head. What're you doing here? Are you helping them?"

"I only came to observe," Dragon replied. "That man's destiny lies in the Grand Line. Who are we to stand in the way of it?"

* * *

"ALRIGHT! LET'S GO TO THE GRAND LINE!" Luffy cheered.

The Going Merry cast off and despite the heavy storm the tiny carvel managed to leave the Polestar Islands with its course set for Reverse Mountain and the Grand Line beyond it. The Legend of Straw Hat Luffy was only just beginning.

* * *

And that's the end of the East Blue Saga. They'll make it to the Grand Line in the next chapter.

I'm going to be taking a break so I can hammer out a few details for the next part of the story mainly concerning what I'm doing with Bonnie and what I'll use for Sabo's Devil Fruit. I've decided what I want to use but I just want to make sure it works down the line with the rest of the story. I also want to have a few chapters done in advance so I can have a more relaxed writing schedule and won't have to pull all nighters to get chapters finished.

In the meantime, I'm going to keep the epithet poll opened so that everyone that wants to can have time to vote on it. I've added a couple late comers and we're up to 20 choices now so be sure to take a look at them.

Silver Signing off…

Edited 6/13/16


	23. Grand Line

_**BROTHER ON BOARD**_

 **Guess who's back? Back again! Silver's back! Tell your friends!**

 **I closed the Sabo Epithet Poll on September 1st. A hearty thank you to everyone who voted. The end result was a tie between "the Dandy Man" and "the Noble Pirate". Those two were pretty much neck and neck the entire time the poll was open and had a combined 20 votes between them so I'm going to include them both in the story and see which one catches on.**

yuzukikuran476 - Thanks! I'm glad you like it. Here's more for you!

Bluejay Blaze - Maybe its just a coincidence? I may have taken some creative liberties with Dragon during my version of the Loguetown Arc but on a whole he's still a mystery. Here's hoping Sabo and the Revolutionaries come back into the One Piece story soon.

Lunapok - Thanks. I laid the groundwork for them have a different relationship with the Straw Hats than they do in canon. There's more Smokey and Tashigi in this chapter - hopefully that'll wet your appetite and hold you over until Alabasta.

WaterStar45 - The most OOC was probably Dragon. But it's not my fault he's not featured more prominently in the series. Then I'd have a more accurate gauge on his personality. The only time the Straw Hats come close to crossing paths with Dragon is in Loguetown. I wanted to have a moment with Sabo, Dragon and Koala all together so I made the most of what I had to work with.

lostdog200 - And I'm back! Sorry I was away for so long. Here's hoping Lostdog can _find_ their way back to the story.

BedofRoses1989 - Glad you enjoyed my take on it. I tried to mix things up enough that it doesn't feel like you're reading the same really long story all over again. I'm back now and I've got a couple chapters done already. I'll be returning to my usual Monday update schedule.

crazyrubsoff - Devil Fruits are one of the most interesting parts of One Piece. Powers like elasticity, control over fire and transforming into an animal aren't unique. You can find multiple western-style comics that feature each of them. Fantastic Four immediately jumps to mind. But its the sheer creativity in how Oda uses those common powers that makes his characters so interesting and sets One Piece apart from everything else. That's something I really want to try my hand at. I'm not giving Sabo a Devil Fruit Power just so he'll be stronger. I'm doing it so I can blend my version of Sabo with one of the most enjoyable parts of my favorite series. Also, most characters already have their powers when they enter the story. I think showing Sabo learning to use his powers will be an interesting plot line to include in this story. And for what its worth, I'm really happy with the power I decided on. Its an underrated power that you've seen before which stresses creativity over sheer power, also I think it fits Sabo's Steampunk theme. Bonnie's great but the enemies the Straw Hats face will keep getting stronger as the series goes on. Sabo will never abandon Bonnie but when the time comes he is going to need something with a little more fire power to hold his own against those powerful enemies.

Wiba - Glad you love Bonnie. I've got a fun storyline planned out for her in the Grand Line. I guarantee that you've never seen a rifle like this before!

The Patient One - I fixed that bit about Koala. Thank you. The Loguetown Arc set the ground work for a very different relationship between the Straw Hats and our favorite Loguetown Marines. This will allow them to work a lot closer together when we finally get to Alabasta.

AnyMoreBrightIdeasGenius - Thanks!

rasEnshur1KEn - Sorry for the long wait. But I think it'll be worth it. Even though I was very busy over the summer I was still able to work out where I want to go with each arc. I've got some great stuff in story for you.

Twilight Dusk - When you put it that way... maybe I can include 'the Dodger' as an unofficial nickname for Sabo further down the line. I've actually got a spin-off Sabo-solo adventure story planned out that'll take place during the Straw Hat Separation/Time Skip. Maybe he could lay low for the two years using the alias 'the Dodger' Jack Dawkins. Oh, and I'm not even close to done playing around with Smoker and Tashigi. Just wait until we get to Alabasta.

Guest - Thanks!

mundanebeast - That's what Sabo brings to the table. A special blend of charisma and charm that allows him to smooth over most of the damage the Luffy's usually leaves in his wake. The fact that Sabo was able to grow up alongside Luffy and Ace means he's probably had a lot of experience doing that already.

StrawHatLuffy94 - I thought about it. But the Goro Goro no Mi is WAY too OP for Sabo. I was looking for something that better captured One Piece's unique brand of creativity and decided to go in a different direction.

BedofRoses1989 #2 - As I said in my PM. I had a summer job that kept me very busy and away from my computer. It's the reason I had a huge gap in my updates last year too. And if they bring me back again it'll probably be the cause of another summer-long break next year. But the time away allowed me to organize my thoughts and really hammer out what I wanted to do with this story and where I wanted things to go. I made the most of the time away.

Dudemil - I was away and wasn't able to add your suggestion to the poll. But by mid July 'Noble Pirate' and 'Dandy Man' already had a commanding lead so I don't really think it would have made much of a difference.

PipeDream - Maybe as they start off. But the Straw Hats' accomplishments and all the trouble they get in will no doubt speak for themselves. They're on good terms with the Marines _now_... but I don't think the World Government and CP9 will allow things to stay that way if the Straw Hats want to keep Robin on their crew. Sabo has a discussion with Sanji in this chapter about the importance of flying below the radar at this stage of their careers. Once they actively and publicly go against the World Government there will be no doubting the kind of pirates they are.

TurtleOtaku777 - I've got a fair bit of ground to cover before I get to that point. But hang in there. Ace will be sticking around for a bit longer when he reunites with his brothers in Alabasta.

MasteroftheSeas - When I write this story I'm out to spread laughter and have some fun. If you enjoy reading my work and had a few laughs along the way then I've succeeded. As for the sound effects, now that I've revealed the truth about Bonnie Anne you can see how important my **Ker-Chow** and **Click** sound effects are since they're Bonnie's main way of communicating. Things would get really redundant if I kept writing "there was a loud bang!" every time Bonnie fired. Especially with how many shots Sabo ends up getting off during most of his fights.

 **Here we go everybody! Brother on Board is heading into the Grand Line! Hang on to your hats! You won't recognize the place when the Straw Hats are done with it!  
**

* * *

 **The Grand Line-**

"Nami! I see a lighthouse!" Luffy called out as he clung to the Going Merry's figurehead as she sailed through the raging storm.

"Good," Nami, clad in a pink raincoat, replied, "once we get passed that we'll be able to see Reverse Mountain. That's the entrance to the Grand Line. We're going to have to sail up it."

"Sail _up_?" Zoro questioned. "How is that possible?"

"No idea," Nami admitted, "But that's what I've heard."

"This calls for a celebration," Sanji announced as he placed a barrel on the deck in front of him.

"We never did get to toast the Going Merry when we left my village," Usopp recalled. "I heard that ships that are untoasted are bad luck."

"If Garp had caught us it would have been even worse," Sabo assured him. "Let's just toast both now… To the Going Merry! And to the Grand Line!"

Sanji placed his heel on top of the barrel, "I'm going to find the All Blue."

Luffy grinned and placed his foot on the barrel next to Sanji's, "I'm gonna be King of the Pirates."

Zoro joined them, "I'll become the World's Greatest Swordsman."

Nami followed, "I'm going to draw a map of the entire world."

Usopp took his turn, "I'll be a Brave Warrior of the Sea."

Sabo placed Bonnie's handle on the barrel, "Bonnie wants to be freed from her prison." Then he placed his own boot on the barrel. "And I'm going to take down the Celestial Dragons."

"What?" Sanji gasped.

"Who?" Nami and Usopp chorused.

"They're also called World Nobles," Sabo quickly explained. "They're the descendants of the Kings that founded the World Government. But they left their kingdoms behind and don't do anything but enslave all kinds of people and lord their superior birthright over everybody. They're the worst excuses of human beings in the world. They're a major part of why Arlong and his men hate our species so much."

"Is that why you don't like being called 'noble'?" Nami asked.

"No, Sabo hates that 'cause his old family are nobles," Luffy answered.

" _You're_ a noble?" Usopp questioned.

"No I'm not!" Sabo insisted. "I ran away from that life and I'm never going back."

"Noble Pirate…" Zoro muttered.

"That had _better not_ catch on!" Sabo growled at him.

"LET'S DO IT!" Luffy called out abruptly changing the subject, "TO THE GRAND LINE!"

The pirates raised their legs and smashed their heels down on the barrel.

 **CRUNCH!**

While the rest Straw Hats continued their celebration of embarking on the the next leg of their journey, Sanji quietly led Sabo away from the others.

"It's not my place to question somebody else's dream," Sanji stated. "I'm not going to question whether or not you can take them down. I'm not even going to question your motivations for wanting to do it. I just want to make sure you understand the type of backlash you'll be facing if you take out just one of those bastards."

"Why do you think I make a point not to mention my dream in public?" Sabo countered. "I know that my dream is more or less and death sentence. But I also know that the world will be a much better place when I succeed and they're gone."

"Just remember that you won't be the only one facing that death sentence," Sanji pointed out. "If you start going after the World Nobles… you'll be turning the attention of the World Government not just on you… but onto all of us as well. The second the government catches wind of the fact that you want to take down the Dragons… you can kiss your plan to fly under their radar goodbye."

"All the more reason for us to fly under their radar now," Sabo replied. "We're not going to be able to coexist with the Marines and the World Government forever. It's inevitable that either Luffy or myself will eventually do something to earn their ire. But if we lay low now we'll be able to hone our strength and maybe hide some of our abilities so we'll have a better chance of surviving when the World Government starts to focus on us."

"As long as you're sure," Sanji said.

Sabo smirked, "And here I thought you were just a mere Sous Chef. I won't pry but there's clearly more to you than meets the eye, Sanji."

"Let's just say that you're not the only one on this ship that left his family behind," Sanji told him.

"Want a free piece of advice?" Sabo offered, "Forget about your old family. Focus on your new one right here on the Going Merry. That's what I did and I've been happy ever since."

* * *

"This is all your fault, you witless buffoon!"

"MY FAULT? IT WAS _YOUR_ FLASHY PLAN, SMART-ASS!"

Kuro and Buggy stood arguing in the middle of the cell while Arlong, Morgan, Cabaji and Jango sat around the edges watching. The 'cell' was a sealed steel room. There were no bars just solid steel walls, a steel floor and a steel ceiling. The door blended into the wall and was sealed with a thick lock and two bars going across the outside.

Buggy's hands were bound by Sea Prism Stone Handcuffs designed to negate his Devil Fruit Powers while Kuro, Jango and Cabaji were all secured with regular handcuffs. Morgan's ax-hand was cuffed behind him by a pair of shackles. Finally Arlong was bound in a steel-enforced straitjacket that wrenched his arms behind him so he couldn't bite through it.

"You're the one that tried to pass himself off as our leader," Kuro insisted. "You should take some responsibility for your moronic incompetence!"

" _You're_ the one that had the bright idea to spare the Straw Hats' ship!" Buggy sneered. "Those flashy bastards are probably half way to the Grand Line by now! That's all on you!"

"Perhaps my biggest mistake was believing that you would actually be of help in carrying out my plan!" Kuro snarled. "It's no wonder you're considered the biggest joke of all pirates!"

"A JOKE!?" Buggy shrieked.

"How 'bout we just say you're both pathetic human weaklings and leave it at that," Arlong suggested.

" _You_ ran off and abandoned the whole plan!" Morgan accused him. "If you're so strong and superior then why didn't you stick around and help when things got crazy?"

"I didn't realize you grown men needed me to hold your hand!" Arlong spat. "Then again, you've only got one of those don't you, _cripple_? Truly, you five are a credit to your pathetic species."

Cabaji and Jango shared a look and agreed to remain silent as the four 'Captains' continued to argue and toss around the blame for their joint failure.

 **KRASH!**

The sound of something smashing through the wall emanated from outside the cell. This was followed by gunshots and then cries of pain as something heavy hit the marine guards outside.

 **WHUMP! WHAM! WHOMP!**

Kuro's eyes widened in surprise, "What the?"

Buggy's painted mouth stretched into a wide grin. "It looks like _I'm_ the one that had a flashy backup plan for getting out of here!"

 **Shunk! Shunk!**

The bars were slid off of the door.

 **Click!**

The cell door was unlocked and swung open to reveal Alvida.

"You boys have looked better," she remarked as she casually rested her mace on her shoulder.

"How did you get down here?" Kuro demanded. "I know for a fact that this cell is located underground."

Alvida gave a casual shrug, "I sweet-talked a marine into telling me where your cell was. The walls of your cell and the hallway outside might be reinforced but the same doesn't go for the stone street in the alley that runs alongside the Marine Base."

"Captain! I've got the keys!" Mohji called out as he slipped passed Alvida into the cell.

Buggy sneered at Kuro as Mohji unlocked his Sea Prism Stone cuffs. "It looks like the joke's on you, Kuro! Since you don't like the way I run things… you can rot here in this cell and dwell on your many failures."

"Thanks Captain," Cabaji said as his cuffs were unlocked and he rose to stand next to Buggy.

Buggy turned and smirked at Jango, "So, hypnotist, you're funny. How'd you like to join _my_ crew? Your old Captain's schemes only got you as far as this cell. But if you still want revenge on the long-nose that stole your dancing ability… then you've gotta follow him to the Grand Line. You'll be better off with a Captain like me that's been there before and knows those waters."

Jango blinked and looked over at Kuro then slowly rose to stand by Buggy. "Sorry Kuro… but this guy's got a better health plan. He's less likely to try and kill me."

Kuro growled as Buggy stole his first mate right out from under him. Buggy smirked and turned to Morgan. "So, ax-guy, you tired of working for the guy that cut your arm off? Feel like joining a real—"

"Save it," Morgan interrupted him. "I joined the Marines to catch lowlife pirates like you. I may have lost my way over the years. But I think I've still got a tiny shred of dignity from when I was a Marine Captain and I _refuse_ to become a pirate!"

"Your loss then," Buggy replied. "Enjoy your years in prison." Finally, Buggy turned to Arlong. "There's room for one more. The Buggy Pirates could use a flashy Strongman."

"I refuse to join that three ring circus you call a pirate crew!" Arlong growled. "I won't take orders from a clown! But… get me out of here… and I'll sail with you as far as Fishman Island. Then I'm gone."

"You've got a deal," Buggy agreed. The clown pirate once again freed the fishman from his chains.

Arlong stood up and cracked his knuckles.

 **WHAM!**

Kuro went flying and was knocked out when he slammed into the steel wall of the cell.

"That one's free," Arlong told Buggy, "I never trusted that prick to begin with."

"LET'S GO BUGGY CREW AND FRIENDS!" Buggy called out, "TO THE GRAND LINE! HOW NOSTALGIC!"

Buggy and his allies slipped out of the cell then relocked it leaving only the unconscious Kuro and the former marine behind them.

Outside the cell, they were greeted by Richie the Lion who lifted the escapees up through the hole Alvida had made in the street before they all raced off for the harbor.

* * *

Captain Smoker sat in his office smoking a pair of cigars with Tashigi nearby.

"Do you think they'll make it to the Grand Line?" Tashigi asked.

Smoker exhaled a small cloud of smoke, "Unless they try something stupid like sailing around Reverse Mountain through the Calm Belt… I'm positive a spirited crew like that will make it. What I'm most concerned about is whether or not they have ties to the Revolutionaries. I'm worried that Dragon the Revolutionary being here wasn't just a coincidence. Working with the Revolutionaries could make those Straw Hats even more dangerous than that motley bunch of pirates that they helped us catch today."

 **BANG!**

The door to the office flew open and Mashikaku staggered inside.

"Captain Smoker! Jail break!"

"Damn it!" Smoker cursed. "They won't escape my town!"

Tashigi and Mashikaku watched as Smoker became a cloud of smoke and floated out the window. A few seconds later they heard the revving of a motorbike.

 **VVRRRROOOOOM!**

Tashigi and Mashikaku dashed to the window and watched as Smoker raced off towards the harbor on his smoke-powered Blower Bike.

Tashigi turned to Mashikaku, "I guess you'll have to tell me what happened down there…"

* * *

A moment later, Smoker sat on his Blower Bike at the harbor and seethed as he watched Buggy's ship sail off into the storm.

"SO LONG SMOKER!" Buggy shouted to him. "WE'LL BE SURE TO TELL STRAW HAT YOU SAY 'HI' BEFORE WE KILL HIM!"

"Damn it…" Smoker growled.

" **Are we too late?"** Tashigi called out as she arrived with a marine unit.

Smoker looked back at her. "This is the second time the Straw Hats have beaten those pirates and it's the second time the Marines have let them slip through our fingers…"

"It was Iron Mace Alvida," Tashigi informed him in a sullen tone. "The guards suspect that she's gained some kind of Devil Fruit Power. All their attempts to apprehend her were useless. Bullets slid off of her. Swords couldn't break her skin. No one could hold her for more than two seconds. The men were caught off guard and didn't have any of their Sea Prism Stone gear ready. Also, she had one of Buggy's men with her. He had a giant lion."

"I take it there's more?" Smoker asked.

"It's my fault, sir," Tashigi confessed. "Sabo… he mentioned that he was attacked by her. I got so caught up bringing in Arlong that I completely forgot about it."

"Then it looks like we've both got reputations to restore," Smoker reasoned.

"What are we going to do, sir?" Tashigi questioned.

"This time we're going to catch those crooks ourselves," Smoker answered. "Get everything ready. We're heading to the Grand Line."

* * *

" _ **Approved,"**_ came the voice of the High-Ranking Marine Official on the Transponder Snail.

"Really?" Smoker asked. "I half expected you to try and force me to stay at my post."

" _ **Those pirates escaped from the Marines… twice. We need to show that we're taking steps to rectify the problem. Sending you to the Grand Line in pursuit of the escaped criminals does just that. In the meantime, we'll raise the bounties of Buggy's crew and send a Marine Officer to temporarily take over your post in Loguetown until we can find a longer term replacement."**_

"That went well," Tashigi remarked when the call ended. Smoker still didn't look pleased. "What's the matter? We've been granted permission to head to the Grand Line."

"I guess having permission to go after Buggy's Crew took some of the thrill out of it," Smoker confessed, "Before I was stationed at Loguetown I used to be a loose cannon. Promoting me to Captain and sticking me here was their way of 'keeping me out of trouble'. To tell the truth… I was excited to go back to that. I was all set to tell the brass to go to hell."

"Well… these last few years you've managed to build a reputation as a dependable Marine Captain," Tashigi pointed out. "Maybe they decided not to give you orders to stay here when they knew you'd ignore them."

"Who knows," Smoker said with a shrug. "Did you call the Straw Hats to warn them about Buggy?"

"I almost forgot!" Tashigi gasped as she pulled out her receiver for the Transponder Snail that she'd given to Nami. "Straw Hats… Straw Hats… Buggy and his crew have escaped Loguetown and are following you to the Grand Line. We're coming after them to try and recapture them."

"…"

"Hmm… no response," Tashigi mused. "Straw Hats? Are you there?"

"Transponder Snail sets like that one have an eavesdrop function," Smoker informed her. "Squeeze the sides of the shell and our snail will send a signal to theirs that'll make it pick up without the Straw Hats having to do anything."

Tashigi squeezed the sides of the Transponder Snail's shell.

 **Click!**

" _ **HOLY COW!"**_

" _ **LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT THING!"**_

" _ **MOOOONSTEEERR!"**_

" _ **WHOOOOAA! THEEEYY'REE HUUUGE!"**_

" **THIS** _ **IS WHY I SAID WE COULDN'T GO AROUND THE MOUNTAIN!"**_

" _ **Alright! Alright! I'm sorry!"**_

 _ **AAAAA-CCHOOOO!**_

" _ **WOOOW! WE'RE FLYING!"**_

" _ **WAAAAAAAH!"**_

" _ **GAH! USOPP FELL OVERBOARD!"**_

" _ **LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT FROG!"**_

" _ **IT'S CHASING US!"**_

" _ **I DON'T WANNA DIIIEEEE!"**_

Smoker and Tashigi stared wide-eyed at the Transponder Snail.

"I… I think I'll call back later," Tashigi decided as she ended the transmission.

" **Oi! Did I just hear my grandson screaming?"**

Smoker and Tashigi turned to see Vice Admiral Monkey D. Garp standing in the doorway.

"You!" Smoker exclaimed.

"I'm here to relieve you of your post," Garp announced.

"Vice Admiral Garp, sir!" Tashigi snapped off a quick salute. "I… how'd you get through the storm?"

"Oh, that little thing?" Garp asked. "I've sailed through much worse. But it scared my new chore boys half to death! GAHAHAHA!"

"How'd you get here so fast?" Smoker inquired.

"I was already headed here," Garp admitted, "I wanted to teach my pain in the ass grandson a lesson for making me clean up his messes. He's always spouting about wanting to be King of the Pirates so I thought he wouldn't be able to resist coming here."

"You were right," Smoker stated, "But you just missed him."

"And we have reason to believe that his crew attempted to sail around Reverse Mountain through the Calm Belt," Tashigi added. "They were still screaming when we hung up so it sounds like the Sea Kings left them alive."

"Reckless rascal," Garp muttered. "Anyway, I'm supposed to keep an eye on this place until they find someone else to fill in. I brought along a prisoner so I'm gonna toss his ass in the brig downstairs."

Just as abruptly as he'd appeared, Vice Admiral Garp turned and left the office. The Legendary Marine was already starting to make himself at home in his new temporary base of operations.

"I guess that means we can leave now…" Tashigi noted.

"Right," Smoker agreed as he stood up. "We'll try calling the Straw Hats again once we set sail."

* * *

 **Shunk! Shunk! Click!**

Kuro and Morgan looked up as the door their cell was opened again.

 **THUD!**

A large man was tossed inside and landed on the floor in between them.

"That's… Don Krieg…" Kuro realized. With a sense of horrible foreboding Kuro and Morgan turned to look at the door.

"So much for a clean getaway, huh boys?" Garp taunted as he stepped into the prison.

 **BANG!**

The door slammed shut behind him.

"So ax-guy… you like cheap-shotting guys while they're napping, eh?" Garp challenged Morgan as he stomped towards him.

"Hold on! My arms are bound! I'm unarmed!" Morgan pointed out.

Garp stopped. "Good point."

 **Click!**

A second later Morgan was released from his shackles.

"Let's see you try that again when I'm ready for it!" Garp urged him. "Come on, big man!"

Locked in a cell and backed into a wall with a crazy marine barking at him, Morgan was left with no real alternative. He gave a loud bellow and lashed out at Garp with his ax. "RAAAH!"

 **WHAP!**

Garp caught the ax with his bare hand.

 **KRACK!**

The Vice Admiral broke the head of the ax with simple flick of his wrist then tossed it away behind him.

"You're disarmed," Garp pointed out. " _NOW_ what're you gonna do?"

Morgan was many things… but he wasn't a coward. He lashed out with his good arm and punched the hulking Marine Legend in the face.

 **POW!**

Garp didn't buckle an inch. "Well… at least you've got _some_ balls," he remarked. "I can respect that."

 **KA-POW!**

Morgan went flying across the cell. His large body hit the wall so hard that it left an indent in the steel.

" **Time to put this old dog down!"** Kuro, having retrieved the broken head of Morgan's ax, lunged at Garp from behind with his cuffed wrists the ax raise overhead poised to strike.

 **WHAP!**

Garp spun around and caught Kuro in midair then tossed him aside like he was a child playing with a toy.

Kuro paled as the Marine Hero turned his undivided attention towards him. "So wise-ass… I guess that this means it was _your idea_ to cheap-shot me while I was napping."

"I… you… you wouldn't hit a guy with glasses?" Kuro attempted to beg off as Garp advanced on him.

Garp showed surprising speed to go along with his bulk as he snatched Kuro's glasses right off his face.

 **CRUNCH!**

"Problem solved," Garp announced as he dropped the crushed glasses beside him.

"Oh dear…" Kuro mumbled.

 **KA-POW!**

And so while Garp held down the fort in Loguetown, Smoker and Tashigi chased Buggy and his crew into the Grand Line. A new set of wanted posters would eventually be issued for the Clown and his six companions as they pursued the seven Straw Hats.

WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE: BUGGY 'THE CLOWN' 25,000,000 BERRIES

WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE: CABAJI 'THE ACROBAT' 8,000,000 BERRIES

WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE: MOHJI 'THE BEAST TAMER' 7,000,000 BERRIES

WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE: RICHIE 'THE LION' 1,000,000 BERRIES

WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE: JANGO 'THE HYPNOTIST' 14,000,000 BERRIES

WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE: 'IRON MACE' AVLIDA 15,000,000 BERRIES

WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE: 'SAW TOOTH' ARLONG 30,000,000 BERRIES

* * *

"Thank goodness all we have to deal with is a storm!" Luffy exclaimed as the Straw Hats laid scattered on the deck of the Going Merry fresh off their escape from the Sea Kings in the Calm Belt.

"And _that's_ why we have to go up the mountain," Nami growled at Zoro.

"I said I was sorry!" Zoro complained. "You don't have to rub it in."

The navigator stalked off and went to adjust their course towards Reverse Mountain.

"I thought… I was gonna die…" Usopp whimpered.

"Look at it this way," Sabo suggested, "When you tell that story you can say you looked death right in the face but escaped at the last second."

"Ooo, that does sound cool," Usopp agreed and immediately perked up.

"Do you really have to encourage him?" Sanji asked.

"I don't see the harm," Sabo said. "If I was nearly eaten by a giant frog _I'd_ want to tell people about it. And we all know it's true so he's not lying."

"Well, since the mossball bosun is done trying to feed us to Sea Kings…" Sanji resolved.

"Oh for the love of swords…" Zoro growled, "How does sailing _up_ a mountain make more sense than going around it!?"

"Nami-swan said that's the way to go so that's the way to go," Sanji resolved. "That's all there is to it."

"Actually… I think I finally figured it out," Nami announced. "We really do need to sail up the mountain. The way is works is that the currents from the East Blue, North Blue, West Blue and South Blue hit the Reverse Mountain from all four sides. Those currents as so strong that they force the water straight up a path to the top of the mountain. The four paths meet at the peak and join together to form one final path that leads down into the Grand Line."

"So you're saying it's a mystery mountain!" Luffy realized.

Nami rolled her eyes, "Right… a mystery that I clearly just explained…"

"NAMI-SWAN! YOU'RE AMAZING!" Sanji swooned.

"It still doesn't make sense," Zoro insisted.

"It's not supposed to," Sabo told him. "It's the Grand Line. Ace sent us a letter saying that _anything_ is possible there. So sailing up a mountain is really just the beginning when you're traveling in a sea filled with all sorts of things that you have to see to believe."

"You make it sound like it's some sort of fantasy dream-land," Sanji pointed out. "I heard that half the people that try entering the Grand Line die in the process."

"GULP!" Usopp swallowed hard as he stood on shaky knees. "I think I prefer Sabro's interpretation…"

"HEY! I SEE THE MYSTERY MOUNTAIN!" Luffy called out.

The Straw Hats all turned to look in the direction their Captain indicated only for the Going Merry to suddenly be covered in the shadow of the massive looming mountain that laid before them. The pirates craned their necks upward as they stared up towards the top of the mountain which seemingly vanished into the dark storm clouds overhead.

While the others marveled at the size of Reverse Mountain, Sabo pulled Bonnie Anne out from his coat, "See that, Bonnie? That's the Red Line. It stretches all the way around the world and intersects the Grand Line while dividing the world's four oceans. The Holy Land of Mariejois is located on the exact opposite side of the world. That's where we'll find the Celestial Dragons. But we've gotta sail along the Grand Line to get there."

"LOOK! IT'S THE ENTRANCE!" Luffy called out as he spotted a split in the mountain. A series of arches marked the entrance of the waterway that was running skyward. "THAT'S SO COOL!"

"I don't believe it…" Zoro gasped as he stared through binoculars, "The water really is flowing _up_."

"We've gotta enter it just right," Nami warned the others, "If we're off course our ship could be smashed to pieces."

"Leave it to us!" Usopp and Sanji called out as they darted into the galley and grabbed the central steering rudder that was located there.

The Going Merry battled the powerful currents from the East Blue as it closed it on the tiny waterway and the massive unrelenting mountain that surrounded it. The rushing waves and the roaring wind from the storm slowly managed to push the tiny caravel off course.

"We've drifting too far to the side!" Luffy called out from the front of the ship. "We need to go right!"

"OI! TURN STARBOARD!" Boatswain Zoro barked back at Usopp and Sanji.

The Ship's Cook and the Master Gunner struggled with all of their combined strength against what seemed like the force of the entire East Blue. The two Straw Hats struggled in a deadlock against the powerful force of nature that seemingly wasn't budging an inch. Eventually something had to give.

 **KRACK!**

"WAAH!" Usopp and Sanji yelped as the whipstaff snapped from all the force being exerted on it.

Luffy, Sabo, Zoro and Nami went bug eyed as they looked back at the broken rudder.

"The rudder just…" Nami whimpered.

"WE CAN'T CONTROL THE SHIP!" Sabo exclaimed as he hugged Bonnie to him, "WE'RE GONNA CRASH!"

The Going Merry barreled onward on a collision course with the first of the ten arches.

"No we're not…" Luffy resolved as he tossed his straw hat back to Zoro then a deep breath and launched himself off the front of the ship. "GUUUM… GUUUM… BAAALLOOOOOON!"

 **FWOOSH!**

Luffy's belly swelled in size as he inflated like a balloon and dropped between the Merry's port side and the first arch that she was about to crash into.

 **BOING!**

Luffy was squished as the Going Merry bounced off of him and veered back on course. The ship was saved but the rubber pirate was now dropping down towards the rushing water below him.

"LUFFY! GRAB MY HAND!" Zoro called out as he stuck his arm over the side railing.

 **WOING!**

Luffy stretched his arm and grabbed Zoro's outstretched hand which allowed the Boatswain to haul the Captain back on board the boat.

Zoro looked back over his shoulder and saw the Quartermaster give him a grateful nod.

"WE'RE SAVED!" Usopp exclaimed as he and Sanji staggered out of the galley. He was still clutching the broken top of the steering rudder.

The Going Merry continued on its corrected course and sailed straight through the ten arches and began its journey up to the top of Reverse Mountain.

"WE DID IT!" the Straw Hats cheered.

Up, and up, and up the Going Merry went. Soon it passed through the dark clouds of the storm and the Straw Hats found the bright sun shining down on them from the other side.

Nami wasted no time in throwing off her raincoat while Sabo happily pulled his rifle out of his own coat no longer needing to shield his girlfriend from the storm.

"WHOA!" Luffy cheered, "Look at how high we are! We're going through the clouds!"

"Yeah! That storm's way below us now!" Usopp added.

"Come on, Bonnie," Sabo said as he climbed up the rope ladder towards the crow's nest. "Let's get a bird's eye view from one of the highest points in the entire world."

"There it is!" Nami called out as she pointed ahead of them, "The top of the mountain!"

The rushing water coming up from the East Blue met three similar streams coming up from the North Blue, West Blue and South Blue. The waterways joined together at the peak then went down the mountain as one.

 **WHING!**

The Going Merry went flying up over the top of the mountain and flew above it for a moment.

The Straw Hats stared down from the airborne ship at the final waterway which would lead them back down the mountain into the legendary ocean where they all sought to make their dreams come true.

"We'll get you out of that gun Bonnie," Sabo told his girlfriend, "And then you and I will take down the Celestial Dragons together."

 **KER-CHOW!**

" _I'll become the World's Greatest Swordsman."_

" _I'll find the All Blue."_

" _I'll draw a map of the entire world."_

" _I'll be a Brave Warrior of the Sea."_

" _I'LL BE KING OF THE PIRATES!"_

 **SPLASH!**

The Going Merry splashed down in the final waterway and started sailing downward.

"THERE IT IS!" Luffy shouted to his crew, "I CAN SEE THE GRAND LINE!"

* * *

I think I'll leave it off there. Thanks to a great deal of the focus being on our wonderful Loguetown supporting cast, everything from the East Blue's been wrapped up and now the main focus returns to Straw Hats as they head down into the Grand Line.

And what's this about Sabo and Sanji discussing families together? Eh, Sabo will probably have forgotten about it by the time they reach the New World.

Sabo meets Vivi next chapter! You can probably imagine how well that's going to go.

Silver signing off…


	24. Laboon

_**BROTHER ON BOARD**_

The Patient One - I took a long break for my summer job. I did the same thing last year but ended up getting distracted and didn't pick the story up again until February. The difference between this year and last year is that I've made a considerable amount of headway in this story and I have a lot more people reading it. So I jumped right back in as soon as I got back. Fair warning, I may end up doing the same thing next summer too. Thank you for your patience The Patient One. Also, I heard from Casey Flux that you recommended my story on the Fandom Flux Podcast. I ended up listening to the episode and I can't thank you enough for recommending Brother on Board and showing your support for my story on a public channel.

Lostdog200 - I haven't seen many of the One Piece movies. I haven't watched an episode of the anime in a long time. Now a days my exposure to One Piece comes predominantly from the manga. That's what I'm using to write this story. (And that's where all of my **Sound Effects** come from.)

BedofRoses1989 - Wow. I'm glad you like my story so much. Don't worry I'm back now so I'm going to return to a relatively consistent weekly update schedule. You'll see in this chapter that Sabo and 'Miss Wednesday' immediately get off on the wrong foot. And that's _before_ he learns that she's royalty. It'll take a while before he learns that she's different than other royalty and nobles.

IchikoKitsuneKoumori - Keep Merry safe? Okay. I'll get someone on that right away.

rasEnshur1KEn - Sabo doesn't recognize her. There are too many nobles and royals in the world for him to know what all of them look like. But when we meet Miss Humpday (Maybe I should keep her away from Eyelash...) she's working with a man that likes to wear a crown and claim he's a King. Let's see how well _that_ works out for him.

Lunapok - Here's more! And its longer than the last one too!

Johnny Spectre - I don't see Ace grilling Arlong for no reason. So the real question is: will Whitebeard's Mark intimidate Arlong enough that he won't attack Ace? There's still a ways to go before we get to that point. This chapter will feature the last Buggy/Arlong appearance for a while.

Syluk - Well I'm glad your back and thanks for writing this story's 300th review. No worries on being behind. I took three months off so I am too. The LuNa will only serve as a way for Nami to torture Sabo. So far he's proven to be pretty unshakeable... except when Bonnie Anne was kidnapped... or when people claim to be royalty or superior... or there's a mossball swordsman involved. Okay... so maybe he actually has a few things that set him off. But Nami's learned her lesson about kidnapping Bonnie and has found a less _suicidal_ method of messing with Sabo by using his brother. Luffy may be 'awakened' but you're not going to see him suddenly profess his undying love for Nami. That would be majorly OOC. I'd like to think that may changes to the story and characters are a little more gradual and make more sense.

AnyMoreBrightIdeasGenius - Thanks a lot! It's good to be back.

Casey Flux - I'm glad you like my take on the story. I started out with small changes and they ended up becoming bigger ones. Just wait until you see what I have in store in the Grand Line. I listened to the episode on your Fandom Flux podcast. I'm honored to have been included on it. Thanks for mentioning it in your review.

* * *

 **Laboon-**

"THIS IS IT!" Luffy shouted from the figurehead, "THE GRAND LINE, THE GREATEST SEA IN THE WORLD!" The Going Merry gained speed as it raced down the watery path that led down Reverse Mountain into the fabled ocean that housed the respective dreams of all the Straw Hat Crew, "FULL SPEED AHEAD!"

 **BUUOOOOHH!**

"Huh? Did you hear something just now?" Zoro asked as he and Nami stood behind the Captain on the front deck.

"Who cares!" Luffy replied, "WOOHOOO!"

"We're sailing downward at high-speed," Nami pointed out, "I wouldn't be surprised if that noise was just from all the wind rushing passed us."

 **BUUOOOOHH!**

"Okay… I definitely heard something that time," Sabo announced from up in the crow's nest. He glanced at Usopp and Sanji who were hanging onto the rigging above the mainsail beside him. "Do either of you see anything?"

Usopp adjusted his sniper goggles and peered down ahead of them. "I think I see… a mountain?"

"NAMI-SWAN!" Sanji shouted to the Navigator, "THERE'S A MOUNTAIN DOWN AHEAD OF US!"

"A mountain?" Nami repeated. "That's not right. Once we pass the Twin Capes at the bottom of the Reverse Mountain it should be all open sea."

 **BUUOOOOOOHHHHHH!**

"Okay… it's getting louder as we get closer," Sabo complained as he picked at his ear.

"Hm…" Luffy grunted as he squinted ahead of them. "THAT'S NO MOUNTAIN! IT'S A WHALE!"

The whale in question was simply massive and easily matched the Sea King's they encountered in the Calm Belt in sheer size. The two four-story light houses that mark the Twin Capes at the base of the mountain looked like mere toothpicks compared to the enormous whale that was sticking its head out of the deep sea between them. But almost as notable as the whale's gargantuan size were the multiple vicious scars that covered almost the entirety of the whale's snout.

The whale opened its mouth and let out another incredible loud sorrowful wail.

 **BUUUOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!**

"HOLY COW!" Sabo exclaimed.

"Okay, that's it," Sanji objected, "That's where I draw the line."

"Huh?" Sabo asked.

"I was fine with you shouting that at Arlong Park when that huge sea cow was bearing down on us," Sanji stated. "And that giant Sea King we were on top of in the Calm Belt had a spotted cow-pattern so I let that one slide too. But _that_ is _not_ a cow. That's a whale."

"Shows what you know!" Sabo retorted. "Female whales, dolphins and porpoises are called cows."

Sanji nodded thoughtfully then looked ahead at the massive mountain-sized whale, "Okay… but how do you know that whale's a female?"

Sabo shrugged, "I don't."

"I DON'T WANNA GET CLOSE ENOUGH TO FIND OUT!" Usopp shrieked.

"What do we do?" Luffy wondered, "Should we fight it?"

"HOW THE HECK ARE WE SUPPOSED TO FIGHT SOMETHING _THAT_ HUGE!" Nami demanded.

"But its blocking our way," Luffy pointed out.

"At this point we're too close to see anything," Sanji noted, "I can't even see its eyes. It just looks like a massive wall."

 **KER-CHOW!**

Bonnie fired off a shot off the front of the ship that veered to the left passed Luffy and the others.

"Huh… oh, thanks Bonnie," Sabo as he watched the bullet's course, "HEY GUYS! THERE'S A LITTLE GAP TO THE LEFT! WE CAN TRY SAILING AROUND IT!"

"I see it!" Zoro called out, "HARD TO PORT!"

"HOW?" Usopp questioned, "Did you forget? The whipstaff's broken!"

"Damn it!" Zoro cursed, "Just get in the galley! We'll figure something out!"

Usopp and Sanji jumped down from the rigging and landed on the railing outside the galley then followed the Boatswain into the galley in an attempt to repair the broken rudder.

"I'VE GOT A PLAN!" Luffy suddenly announced as he jumped off the figurehead.

"Luffy? Where are you going?" Nami called after the Captain as he dashed down the stairs and swung around into the anchor room.

"TURN LEFT! TURN LEFT!" Usopp shrieked as he and Sanji futilely struggled with the broken stub that remained from the whipstaff. But it was no good. They couldn't get enough leverage to fight the overwhelming pressure from the current coming down the mountain.

"GUYS! WE'RE CLOSING IN!" Sabo warned them from up in the crow's nest, "If you're gonna do something do it fast!"

"DAMN IT!" Zoro cursed as he drew _Yubashiri_ and jammed the blade of his new sword into the broken bit of the whipstaff.

 **CHUNK!**

"EVERYONE PULL HARD TO PORT!" the Boatswain shouted as he yanked on the handle of his embedded blade that was now serving as a makeshift whipstaff.

Usopp sprang up and grabbed the handle of the sword along with Zoro and pulled for all he was worth. Sanji contributed a foot and pressed the bottom of his shoe against the blade while he used his hands to push against the nearest wall for leverage.

The three Straw Hats strained together and eventually found a small measure of success as the rudder finally started to shift to the side.

"HEY! IT'S WORKING!" Sabo shouted back at them, "WE'RE TURNING!" But the Going Merry was quickly closing the distance to the whale. The gradual degree that they were turning with wouldn't be enough to get them around the massive whale-wall. "BUT WE'RE NOT GONNA MAKE IT!"

 **KA-BOOOOM!**

The front cannon exploded and blasted the whale at near point-blank range.

"WHAT WAS THAT?" Nami yelped.

"DID WE STOP?" Luffy called up from the anchor room.

"YOU DOLT!" Sabo scolded his brother. "We've got four oceans' worth of currents pushing us forward! Did you really think one measly shot from the cannon would stop us?"

 **KROOOM!**

The Going Merry kept going and slammed into the whale at a slightly slanted angle which jarred everyone. Luffy smashed into the anchor's capstand, Nami stumbled across the front deck and barely caught herself from being pitched over the front railing, Sabo nearly fell out of the crow's nest and Zoro, Usopp and Sanji were thrown off of the whipstaff and flew across the galley.

 **KRACK!**

The Going Merry's sheep figurehead which had taken the brunt of the impact snapped and flipped over the front railing… on a collision course with the still slightly disoriented Navigator.

"Oh shit…" Sabo cursed, "I can't shoot it! It's up to you, Bonnie!" Sabo grabbed Bonnie around the middle of her barrel and lobbed the rifle down at the falling figurehead like a harpoon.

"YAAH!" Nami yelped as she saw the carved chunk of wood that was big enough for Luffy to sit on come flying over the railing at her. She ducked down and covered her head to avoid being crushed.

 **WHAM!**

Nami watched in what seemed like slow motion as the figurehead was knocked off course and smashed into the ground beside her. _"I almost died just now…"_ The relieved Navigator looked back and spotted a familiar rifle on the deck behind her. "Bonnie?" Nami looked at the crow's nest and called out to Sabo, "WHO _THROWS_ A RIFLE!?"

 **SKISH!**

Sabo leapt from the crow's nest and landed on the rear railing of the front deck. "I couldn't shoot it," Sabo stated. "Usopp and Luffy would never forgive me if I blew a hole through Merry's head. But we promised someone we'd look after you so that's what I came up with on the fly."

Nami looked down at Bonnie Anne and eyed the familiar red ribbon tied around the rifle's barrel. "Right… thanks." She picked up the rifle and handed her back to a grateful Sabo who quickly slipped the rifle onto his back using her strap.

"THAT DUMBASS!" Zoro, Usopp and Sanji all yelled as they raced out of the galley.

Sabo looked back at the whale, "Well… the good news is it hasn't spotted us yet."

"Maybe it's slow?" Sanji suggested.

"We bounced backwards after we crashed into it!" Zoro pointed out, "Usopp, Rifle-freak, hurry up and grab a paddle! Cook, get back in the galley and work the whipstaff! We can get around it now!"

Sanji dashed back into the galley while the Quartermaster, Boatswain and Master Gunner scrambled down to the main deck and grabbed the Merry's long paddles. The four of them worked together and slowly began to steer the Going Merry around the huge whale.

 **BBBUUUUUOOOOOOOOOHHHHH!**

The whale's latest wail was so close that it shook the tiny caravel.

"GAAH! MY EARS!" Sanji groaned.

"JUST KEEP ROWING!" Zoro ordered. "DON'T STOP NO MATTER WHAT! WE'VE GOTTA GET AWAY!"

Nami looked back and suddenly realized that Luffy was on the front deck with her. The Captain stared in horror at the Merry's broken figurehead then glared up at the whale. "HOW DARE YOU… DESTROY MY SPECIAL SEAT! YOU DUMB WHALE! GUUUUM… GUUUUUM… PIIIISTOOOOOL!"

 **KA-POW!**

Luffy shot his arm out and slugged the whale right in the eye.

"OH NO!" Nami gasped as the massive whale's eye tilted down and it finally spotted the Going Merry. "IT'S SPOTTED US!"

"COME ON YOU BASTARD!" Luffy hollered as he brandished his fist on the front deck.

"SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY!" Zoro and Usopp yelled as they lunged up onto the front deck and kicked Luffy in the back of the head.

 **THWAK!**

Luffy was knocked off balance from the kick and stumbled across the front deck… and at that moment the mountain of a whale opened its massive mouth.

 **WOOOOOSSHHH!**

"WAAAAHHH!" the Straw Hats screamed as the current suddenly changed course and dragged the Going Merry into the whale's open mouth.

Luffy, still off balance, collided with the railing and went flying off the side of the ship. "YAAAAAHHH!"

"LUFFY!" Sabo hollered as he saw his brother go overboard. He ran forward with the paddle still in his hands and jammed it into the deck so he could vault off of Merry after his brother.

 **WHAP!**

Luffy and Sabo collided in the air and Sabo's momentum carried them forward until they landed on one of the whale's huge teeth which were each easily as tall as a small building.

"WAAAAH!" The Captain and Quartermaster watched as their ship and their crew were all sucked down into the whale's gullet by the rushing current.

"NO! THEY GOT SWALLOWED!" Luffy screamed.

"AND _WE'RE_ ABOUT TO BE _CRUSHED_!" Sabo called out as he pointed upward at the descending teeth. The whale was closing its mouth.

"We're not gonna die here!" Luffy growled as he wrapped his arm around his brother then stretched his other arm up and grabbed the whale's upper lip.

 **WOING!**

Luffy and Sabo were yanked off of the tooth and went flying out of the whale's mouth and up onto its snout just as it slammed its mouth shut.

 **THOOM!**

"The whale's diving!" Sabo pointed out, "Hurry up! Climb up as high as you can!" Luffy and Sabo scrambled up the massive whale as it sank down into the water.

"Huff… huff…" Luffy panted as they reached the top of the whale's head. "Damn it! The dumb whale swallowed everyone! GIMME BACK MY FRIENDS, YOU DUMB-JERK!"

 **Tomp! Tomp!**

Luffy stomped on the whale's head but the whale probably didn't even feel it.

"Well… the good news is… they were swallowed whole," Sabo pointed out as he pulled Bonnie off of his back and caught his breath, "So at least we know they're all still alive and in one piece."

"Okay, then we've gotta go in after them," Luffy decided.

"And how are we supposed to do that?" Sabo asked.

"How else do you get inside someplace?" Luffy countered, "We use the door."

"Luffy, it's a whale," Sabo pointed out. "They don't have doors."

"Oh yeah? What's that then?" Luffy questioned.

Sabo turned and blinked when a saw a square door with a spinning hatch built into the top of the whale.

"Huh…" Sabo said simply as he stared at the whale-door in surprise, "I stand corrected."

"Should we go in then?" Luffy inquired.

"Well, our other option is stay out here and risk drowning," Sabo told him.

"IN WE GO!" Luffy exclaimed. He quickly spun the hatch and he, Sabo and Bonnie slipped inside the whale just as it went under.

Once the whale was fully submerged it shot its entire massive body up out of the water and flew through the air before it crashed back down and swam

* * *

"So… what do you think of this?"

"What do _I_ think of this?" Zoro repeated.

"Yeah," Sanji replied as he casually lit up a cigarette. Nami and Usopp were silently staring off the front of Going Merry at a complete loss for words. "Any idea how to explain this? I could've sworn we were swallowed by a whale. Are we dreaming or something?"

"Probably…" Zoro as he surveyed the blue sky and stationary white clouds all around them. There was also a small island with a palm tree and a tiny hut up ahead of them. "This has _got to_ be a dream…"

* * *

"ALRIGHT CREW!" Buggy shouted to his six companions as they raced down Reverse Mountain.

The giant whale was nowhere in sight so Buggy and his crew just sailed straight passed the Twin Capes and into the Grand Line.

Arlong glanced over at Buggy, "Since you've been here before then you'll know that we've got a one-in-seven chance in taking the same path as those Straw Hats."

"Those flashy bastards have a head start…" Buggy growled, "But even if we take the wrong path we'll be sure to hear something about them before long. HANG ON GANG! There's rough weather ahead!"

Completely oblivious to the Straw Hats' actual whereabouts, Buggy and his crew sailed right over them and the whale they were all inside as they made their way into the Grand Line.

* * *

"What's all this stuff doing inside a whale?" Luffy wondered as he and Sabo found themselves in a metal-lined hallway. "First a door… now a hallway…"

"I haven't the faintest idea," Sabo admitted. "But it's definitely not normal. This has got to be the weirdest whale I've ever been inside of…"

"But this is the _only_ whale we've been inside," Luffy pointed out.

"True," Sabo admitted, "But I'm willing to bet that if we went in another dozen whales we wouldn't find another one with an inside as strange as this one."

 **Click!**

Sabo turned to address his girlfriend, "You mean you know of a weirder whale?"

 **KER-CHOW!**

"Wow…" Sabo remarked, "Add that to the list of things you've gotta tell me about once we get you outta that gun."

* * *

Zoro, Nami, Usopp and Sanji all watched as an old man with strange hair that resembled the petals of a crocus blossom came out of the tiny hut and took a seat on a lounge chair that was situated on his tiny island underneath the palm tree. He completely ignored the pirates and their ship as he casually picked up a newspaper and started to read.

"SAY SOMETHING, DAMN YOU!" Sanji eventually yelled.

"Be careful," Nami warned him, "That guy took out that massive squid with just one shot." The Straw Hats glanced over the squid that had attacked their ship but had been killed by three harpoons that the old man had fired from his house.

"Yeah, but did he mean to save us or was he just getting his lunch?" Zoro wondered.

"H-hey!" Usopp stammered, "If it's a fight you want… th-then you've got one! We've got a cannon and I'm the Master Gunner!"

"If you do that… someone will wind up dead," the old man finally spoke.

"Oh yeah, whose that?" Sanji challenged him.

"…" the old man glared at them.

"WELL?" Sanji demanded.

"Me," the old man dead-panned causing the Cook to face-fault.

"YOU BASTARD!" Sanji yelled at him.

"Hey, calm down," Zoro scolded the Cook. "Don't get so worked up." He addressed the old man. "Hey, old man, would you mind telling us where we are?"

"…" the old man glared silently at Zoro then finally spoke, "Its common courtesy to introduce yourself before asking something of others."

"Oh, you're right," Zoro agreed. "I'm—"

"My name is Crocus," the old man interrupted. "I'm the keeper of the Twin Capes lighthouses. I'm seventy-one years old and a Gemini with type AB blood."

"WHO CARES ABOUT ALL THAT STUFF!?" Zoro yelled.

"You know, this is the type of thing we have Sabro for," Usopp remarked.

"You're wondering where you are?" Crocus continued, "Where do you mouthy-brats think you are? Does this place look like a mouse's stomach?"

"So… we've really been swallowed by a whale?" Usopp realized.

"I don't want to be digested!" Nami whimpered.

"If you're looking for an exit… there's one over there," Crocus informed them.

The Straw Hats blinked in surprise when they saw a large double door that was easily big enough for a steam ship to sail through.

"YOU'VE GOT A DOOR IN HERE!?" Usopp exclaimed, "I THOUGHT THIS WAS A WHALE'S STOMACH?"

"Wait… is that door floating in the sky?" Nami wondered.

Usopp squinted, "No… if you look carefully at the sky and the clouds… none of its moving… this whale's stomach has been painted over to look like the sky."

"It's just a hobby," Crocus stated.

"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING IN HERE, OLD MAN?" Usopp demanded.

"Forget about him," Zoro decided, "There's a door so let's go through it and get out of here."

* * *

Unseen and unnoticed by anyone on the inside, the whale rammed head-first and full speed into the side of Reverse Mountain and the Red Line.

 **WHOOOOM!**

The hard impact not only rattled everything and everyone inside the whale but it also caused a brand new gash to form among the vicious collection of scars that adorned the whale's head.

* * *

 **WHOOOOM!**

The hallway that Luffy and Sabo were running down violently shook and threw them both off their feet.

"GAH! BONNIE!" Sabo shrieked as his rifle went sliding off down the hallway. "COME BACK!" Sabo half ran/half crawled down the hallway in pursuit of his wayward weapon/girlfriend. But chasing down the rifle became increasingly difficult as the whale continued to ram his head into the Red Line.

"WAAH!" Luffy attempted to follow Sabo but got thrown off his feet and ended up bouncing around the metal-lined hallway like a rubber ball.

* * *

"THE OLD MAN JUST JUMPED IN!" Sanji exclaimed as Crocus suddenly dove into the whale's stomach acid and swam off.

"WHAT? HE'LL GET DIGESTED!" Nami shrieked in alarm.

"He's swimming towards the exit," Usopp noted. The old man actually managed to pass the Going Merry which was being thrown around the rough waves that had been made in the stomach acid as a result of the whale ramming its head into Reverse Mountain. "We need to get out of here before that crazy whale gets any more violent!"

"We've got no choice, we're gonna have to paddle again," Zoro resolves as he motioned to the long paddles that had been left abandoned on the deck after they had been swallowed. "Hurry up and put your backs into it!"

"I think he's starting to take this Bosun-thing way too seriously!" Usopp complained to Sanji.

* * *

Elsewhere inside the whale, a mysterious man and woman had managed to make their way down the hallways to the whale's stomach despite all the shaking and were now lurking outside the door.

"Alright, we've successfully managed to infiltrate the whale, Miss Wednesday," the man recounted. He was skinny and had short orange hair along with a '9' drawn on each of his cheeks. He wore fancy green clothing and had a golden grown on his head. "The whale's stomach is on the other side of this door. The next step of our plan is to burst in and take out the old man."

"Right, Mr. 9," his partner, Miss Wednesday, replied. She had long blue hair tied back in a high ponytail and wore a top that had a series of rings over each breast as well as her stomach, a pair of short white shorts and a pale green coat. "Once he's gone we'll be able to bag this whale. It's big enough to feed our village for years."

Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday each pulled out a bazooka-like gun. "Ready, baby?" Mr. 9 prompted, "When I count 'one, two, three' we burst in and open fire!"

"Ready!" Miss Wednesday confirmed.

" **HEY, HEADS UP! STOP THAT RIFLE!"**

The mysterious pair looked down to see a high-powered rifle come sliding down the hallway.

Miss Wednesday dubiously brought her foot down on the rifle to stop it.

 **SKISH!**

Sabo dove down the hallway and crashed to the ground at the odd pair's feet.

 **THUD!**

"Gotcha, Bonnie!" he exclaimed as he slapped his hand down on the rifle. He looked up at the mysterious man and woman. "Thanks for that. The whale started shaking and she got away from me." Sabo stood up and peered curiously at the man and woman. "So… who are you guys supposed to be?"

"I'm a King," Mr. 9 announced.

Sabo raised an eyebrow, "Really?"

"Yes, and I—"

Whatever the crowned man was going to say was abruptly cut off by Sabo's fist smashing into his face.

 **POW!**

Mr. 9 slammed into the door then dropped to the ground in an unconscious heap.

"Haha!" Sabo laughed and addressed his rifle, "Isn't the Grand Line great, Bonnie? We haven't even been here ten minutes and I already got to slug a _King_ in the mouth!"

"Wh-what… why did you do that!?" Miss Wednesday sputtered.

"He said he was a King," Sabo answered with a casual shrug.

Miss Wednesday bristled at his answer. "That sounds like a reason _not to_ punch him!"

"Lady, royalty and nobles are the scum of the earth." Sabo bluntly stated. "Those arrogant selfish assholes are always rubbing their superiority in the faces of the common masses. They'll do anything they can for a bit more power even if it comes at the expense of their people. So I'll take any chance I get to knock them off of their royal high horse."

"I'm… my… Not all royalty is like that!" Miss Wednesday insisted. For some reason Sabo's degrading comments about royalty and nobles had caused the blue-haired woman to flush bright red.

"I have yet to see otherwise," Sabo replied, "How would you know anyway?"

Miss Wednesday opened her mouth to say something but caught herself. "I don't!" she eventually said. "But you should give them the benefit of the doubt."

"Not likely," Sabo retorted. "You give those good-for-nothing bastards an inch and they'll find a way to hang you with it."

Miss Wednesday gave Sabo a hard stare. It wasn't quite a glare. But it clearly showed that she wanted to argue against Sabo's angry diatribe towards royalty but was restraining herself for whatever reason.

 **WHOOM!**

The whale shook as it once again rammed into the side of Reverse Mountain. Then the hallway tilted at a very sudden and very rough forty-five degree angle. Both Sabo and Miss Wednesday were thrown off balance. Miss Wednesday fell back against the door behind her while Sabo shot out his free hand to brace himself against it and keep from headbutting the strange woman in the face.

Miss Wednesday, despite being a mysterious _woman_ , was still only sixteen and felt her cheeks heating up from the sudden close proximity between her and the tall blonde pirate. Despite his vehement dislike for royalty he was still an attractive young man.

Suddenly a familiar voice called out in alarm. **"WAAH! I CAN'T STOP! I CAN'T STOP! LOOK OUT!"**

Sabo and Miss Wednesday turned to see Luffy come barreling down the slanted hallway. Sabo only had time to mutter a quick curse before Luffy crashed into him.

 **WHAM!**

The impact of Luffy colliding with him caused Sabo to knock into Miss Wednesday who slammed back into the door and knocked it open. All three of them went flying out through the open door into the whale's stomach while Mr. 9 was left alone still lying unconscious on the floor by the doorway.

 **WHING!**

"WAAAAHHH!" Luffy, Sabo and Miss Wednesday all screamed as they flew out over the stomach.

"AAAIIHH!" Miss Wednesday shrieked, "ITS A SEA OF STOMACH ACID! WE'LL BE DIGESTED!"

"Look, its Luffy and the freak with the rifle," Zoro pointed out from down on the deck of the Going Merry.

"Who's that with them?" Sanji wondered.

Luffy broke off from screaming to greet his crew, "Oh hey, you guys are alright! Maybe now you can help us…"

"USOPP! CATCH!" Sabo called out as he once again he gripped Bonnie Anne around the middle and threw the rifle like a harpoon.

 **WHAM!**

Usopp didn't actually have to catch Bonnie Anne. She slammed into his chest and knocked him clean off his feet which resulted in him flying backwards a good ten feet before he crashed down to the deck.

"UUGGHH…" the disoriented Sniper groaned from the impact.

Luffy, Sabo and Miss Wednesday went crashing down into the stomach acid in front of the Going Merry.

 **SPLA-SPLA-SPLASH!**

Sabo immediately dove deeper to catch his brother who was sinking like a brick. He grabbed Luffy and broke the surface shortly after Miss. Wednesday. "If you want to avoid being digested… follow me." Sabo took off and started swimming towards the Going Merry.

Miss Wednesday didn't need to be told twice. She took a deep breath and swam after him.

It didn't take long for them to reach the Going Merry. "OI! SANJI!" Sabo called up to the ship. "There's a girl with me! Hurry and pull us up!"

A split second later, one of the Going Merry's long paddles was dipped into the water. They grabbed onto it and the Ship's Cook swung Sabo, Miss Wednesday and the barely conscious Luffy up over the railing and onto the deck of the ship.

* * *

In the meantime, Crocus had slipped out of the whale's stomach and had made his way through the hallway to a giant shot that was the side of a cannon. Crocus hit the plunger and injected the whale with the shot of tranquilizer.

"Calm down Laboon!" Crocus urged the whale. "I won't let you hurt yourself."

The massive dose of sedative had the desired effect. The whale finally stopped smashing its head into the Red Line and sank down to the bottom of the ocean where it laid still.

* * *

"Phew, that was a close one," Sabo sighed in relief. "Thanks Sanji. Another couple minutes in there and our clothes would've started dissolving."

The Cook went stiff and suddenly had to clamp his hand over his nose while the blue haired woman's face flushed bright red.

"So Sabo… are you going to introduce us to your new friend?" Nami inquired.

"I would… but I don't even know who she is," Sabo admitted as he made his way over the fallen Usopp. "I met her and her dumbass friend outside that door over there. Her friend claimed to be a King so I decked him."

"Sabo! You punched a King!?" Usopp exclaimed.

"Yeah, isn't the Grand Line great?" Sabo replied as he grabbed Bonnie and used his hold on the rifle to pull the Master Gunner back up to his feet. "Although… I don't think he was an _actual_ King."

"THEN WHY DID YOU PUNCH HIM?" Miss Wednesday demanded.

"Because he said he was," Sabo answered with a casual shrug, "I treated him with all the respect that his desired position deserves. Anyway, right after that, Luffy slammed into us and we went flying out into what I _thought_ was a stomach." He eyed the painted sky and the small island. "But this looks more like a tropical retreat…"

"The crazy flower-guy said that painting was a hobby of his," Usopp explained. "He lives down here."

"What crazy flower-guy?" Luffy asked as he pulled himself up off of the ground. He made for his favorite seat but saw that it was still broken so he let out a little sigh settled for sitting on the railing near where it used to be.

"He dove into the stomach acid and swam away," Zoro stated, "We have no idea where he went."

"But for some reason it seems like the whale's calmed down," Nami pointed out. "And now that you two are back we can finally get out of here."

"Hold on!" Sanji cut in. "Nami-swan, normally I would be the first to agree to anything you say. But I feel like we're glossing over something extremely important." The Ship's Cook knelt down in front of Miss Wednesday and took her hand in his. He completely ignored the handheld cannon that she'd brought on board along with her. "I never got your name, beautiful."

"Oh!" Miss Wednesday gasped as her cheeks flushed again. "I… I'm Miss. Wednesday."

Sabo immediately jumped all over her. "You don't sound so sure about that. And that doesn't even sound like a real name. What are you, some kind of secret agent?"

"Um… _yes_ ," Miss Wednesday answered uncertainly but then decided to roll with it and try improvising. "I'm a secret agent… and my code name is Miss. Wednesday. I can't tell anyone my real name… or the name of my secret organization. I'm here on a mission with my partner Mr. 9."

"A secret agent!?" Luffy repeated. "WHOA!"

"THAT IS SO COOL!" Usopp exclaimed, "Sabo, you were right! The Grand Line is amazing! I never thought we'd get to meet secret agents."

" _Secret organization… Miss Wednesday… Mr. 9… that sounds familiar,"_ Zoro mused to himself.

"Hmm… I guess this means that dork was a secret agent too," Sabo mused out loud. "Oh well, he probably had it coming. That's what he gets for claiming to be royalty."

"Miss Wednesday… a woman of mystery!" Sanji swooned.

"Idiots," Nami muttered before addressing the others, "Alright! You know her fake name now. Let's get a move on."

"Ah, Nami-swan, am I detecting a hint of jealousy?" Sanji inquired. "Don't worry. I still love you."

"Then start paddling and get us to that exit!" Nami ordered.

"Right away, my love!" Sanji exclaimed as he picked up the same paddle he'd used to fish Luffy, Sabo and Miss Wednesday out of the stomach acid.

"I guess I didn't have anything better to do," Zoro relented as he grabbed the other paddle. But he paused and jabbed a finger at Sabo and Usopp. "I'll handle this. But when we get out of this whale you two are helping me fix the broken whipstaff and figurehead."

"Oh, sure Zoro," Usopp agreed.

"He _really is_ taking this Bosun-thing seriously," Sabo remarked.

"That's what I said!" Usopp exclaimed, "And you didn't even see him earlier when he was like 'put your backs into it!'"

Zoro and Sanji started paddling and the Going Merry began to move across the now steady sea of stomach acid as it gradually closed the distance to the door.

But that was when Crocus returned to the stomach and spotted Mr. 9 lying unconscious in the doorway. The old man growled when he spotted the fake-King's weapon and promptly kicked it away into the whale's stomach.

"Damn you!" Crocus growled, "And they usually come in pairs…" He stepped into the doorway and shouted down into the stomach. "AS LONG AS I STILL DRAW BREATH… I WON'T ALLOW YOU TO LAY A SINGLE HAND ON THIS WHALE!"

"There's the target… I can still complete the mission," Miss Wednesday resolved as she grabbed her gun and surged back up to her feet. "THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK, OLD MAN! THIS IS THE END FOR YOU!"

Sabo had been lingering nearby with Usopp and never let her get off the shot. He slipped around in front of her and grabbed hold of her bazooka-like weapon then used his hold on the barrel to flip the girl over his head and down onto the ground in front of him.

 **FWUP!**

Before Miss Wednesday could recover, Sabo quickly pinned her weapon between his arm and his side then twisted so it was pointing harmlessly off the side of the Going Merry. Finally, he pointed his own weapon at the girl's forehead.

"SABO! YOU BASTARD!" Sanji berated him. "YOU JUST ATTACKED A LADY!"

"Sorry Sanji," Sabo apologized. "But I'm not going to let a pretty face stop me from doing what's right. The whale might've tried to eat us. But it's still an innocent creature. The old guy just shouted that he'd defend it with his life. This one was seconds away from blasting him. So I know who I'm siding with." Sabo glared down at the girl and growled at her. **"Drop. Your. Gun."**

Miss. Wednesday let out a quiet whimper and released her hold on her weapon. Sabo yanked it away from her and tossed it off the side of the ship.

"You're lucky he got there first," Luffy informed the blue haired girl, "I would've knocked you out."

"What kind of—" Miss Wednesday started to ask but Sabo interrupted her.

"Congratulations Miss Wednesday," Sabo announced as he turned his focus back to the 'secret agent', "You claim to be a secret agent. But it turns out you're actually a whale poacher. But _now_ you're a prisoner. Nami, grab some rope and tie her up then keep an eye on her."

"Why me?" Nami questioned.

"Because you're the sneakiest one here," Sabo answered, "She won't be able to pull a fast one on you."

"In some backhanded way… that almost sounded like a compliment," Nami remarked as she headed for the anchor room. It didn't take long for her to come back with the rope and a moment later she had Miss Wednesday trussed up like a holiday turkey. The Navigator then sat down on the younger girl's back for good measure.

"Sabo… we set sail to be free," Luffy reminded him, "I don't know if I like taking prisoners."

"It's only until we get out of here," Sabo pointed out. "If we leave her to her own devices she might try to hurt the whale again."

"Let her go as soon as we get out," Luffy ordered.

Sabo nodded then smirked, "Now that that's sorted out… time to deal with old guy…"

"Good luck," Zoro grumbled. "The crazy old guy's a pain in the ass."

"Maybe you just lack manners and people skills," Sabo retorted as he went over to the front of the ship. He looked up and saw Crocus staring down at them from the opened doorway. Sabo tipped his top hat. "Ahoy there! We haven't met yet but I figure you're the flower-guy that I heard about. My name's Sabo. I'm the Quartermaster of the Straw Hat Pirates. This is my girlfriend Bonnie Anne. Over there's Luffy. He's my brother and our Captain."

"…" Crocus glared silently down at Sabo.

"…" Sabo stared back with a good-natured smile.

"…" the other Straw Hats stared back and forth between their Quartermaster and the strange old man.

"So you're pirates…" Miss Wednesday's whisper was enough to break the tense silence. She had focused on the word 'pirates' and had missed the bit that followed.

"What's it to you, secret agent-girl?" Nami challenged her.

"Nothing… nothing at all," Miss Wednesday quickly answered. This earned her a suspicious glare from not just Nami but also Zoro.

"Hmph," Crocus finally broke his glare with a grunt. "At least one of you has manners. My name is Crocus. I'm seventy-one and my birthday is January fourth. I enjoy painting and doing the crossword puzzle in the newspaper. I'm the keeper of the Twin Capes Light Houses and a Doctor. Laboon here has been my patient for the last fifty years."

"Uh… okay…" Sabo replied. He didn't need to know most of that information. But some of it was useful.

"Wait a minute!" Sanji interrupted. "I thought you said you were a Gemini!"

"…" Crocus glared down at Sanji.

"KNOCK THAT OFF!" the Ship's Cook yelled up at him.

"I lied," Crocus stated simply.

"YOU'RE PISSING ME OFF!" Sanji shouted.

"Easy, easy, Sanji, calm down," Sabo instructed, "Let me handle this. Go help Nami guard the prisoner."

"Damn old bastard's still trying to make a fool out of me…" the Cook grumbled as the stomped back down to the main deck and took a seat next to Nami and Miss Wednesday.

" _Anyway_ ," Sabo said, "Since you've been with the whale… um _Laboon_ …. for so long… I guess that means you're the one that added the door and those hallways."

"…" Crocus glared down at Sabo.

"..." Sabo stared back.

"They're both idiots…" Zoro growled as he got fed up and left to join the others down on the main deck.

"…" Crocus continued to glare at Sabo.

"…" Sabo grinned and continued to stare back.

"Yes," Crocus finally answered. "He's grown too big for conventional medicine."

"You may have a point there," Sabo admitted, "I've seen mountains that are smaller than Laboon. But I suppose you'd be the guy to ask for direction out of here. Even better, if you do us a favor and help us get out… we'll do you one in return and take the wannabe whale hunter girl and her royal dumbass partner out of the whale with us."

"…" Crocus glared down at Sabo.

"…" Sabo stared back.

"Here they go again…" Usopp groaned to the others down on the main deck.

"This is a boring…" Luffy complained. He jumped down off the railing and joined the rest of his crew down on his main deck. This left Sabo alone on the front deck still locked in a glare-stare off with Crocus.

"…" Crocus continued to glare.

"…" Sabo continued to stare.

 **KER-CHOW!**

Bonnie suddenly fired which surprised Crocus enough that he blinked.

Sabo didn't. "Hah! You blinked! I win!"

"Hahahaha…" Crocus let out a low laugh. "So you did. You're a funny pirate. It's nice to see someone from your generation has the patience and appreciation for a running gag. Give me a moment to get my boat and I'll show you kids the way out of here."

Crocus grabbed Mr. 9 then dove all the way down off the doorway into the stomach acid. He left Mr. 9 bobbing near the Going Merry and continued to swim back to his island.

"Good news guys!" Sabo called out as he turned back to the others, "Dr. Flower-guy agreed to show us the way out of here. Do any of you want to pull the royal doofus onto the ship before he's digested?"

"Sure! I like fishing!" Luffy agreed as he darted over to the railing and stretched his arm off the side.

"How _does_ he do that?" Zoro wondered as stared up at the Quartermaster. The old man had easily managed to get under his, Sanji's and Usopp's skin. He'd even annoyed Luffy enough that his A.D.D. had kicked in and he'd lost interest.

"I told you we needed Sabro to deal with that crazy old guy," Usopp reminded them.

"The guy must have the patience of a Saint," Sanji commented.

"I think my partner would disagree with you," Miss Wednesday couldn't help chiming in.

"Yeah, well no one asked you," Nami snapped at her. "That's why they call him 'the Dandy Man'. He can go from classy to deadly at the drop of a top hat."

"Wait… I thought we were calling him 'the Noble Pirate'?" Zoro questioned.

"There's nothing noble about him!" Miss Wednesday objected.

"Again, no one asked you," Nami informed the captive girl before the turned to the Boatswain. "And Zoro, _you_ decided to call him that. _I'm_ sticking with Koala's nickname."

"Here he comes!" Luffy called out as he reeled in his arm and dumped the unconscious man on the main deck near his partner.

"Did… did he just _stretch_!?" Miss Wednesday asked.

"Don't worry, my dear, those are just Luffy's Devil Fruit Powers," Sanji reassured her. "No big deal."

"WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE!?"

* * *

It turned out that in addition to being lined with metal, Crocus' island also doubled as low-powered motorboat. The island-boat was now secured to the back of the Merry and was pushing the caravel along a metal-lined waterway through Laboon.

Miss. Wednesday and her partner Mr. 9 had been tied to the main mast while the Straw Hats had relocated to Crocus' island-boat or the rear deck. Crocus sat in his lounge chair and told the Straw Hats Laboon's sad story.

He recounted how fifty years ago Laboon had been a baby Island Whale the size of the Going Merry and had followed a pirate crew through Reverse Mountain to the Grand Line from the West Blue. Crocus became friends with the pirates while they stayed at the Twin Capes lighthouses to repair the damage that had been done to their ship during their journey to the Grand Line.

After three months, when it was finally time for the pirates to sail onward, the Pirate Captain had taken Crocus aside. He asked Crocus to look after Laboon for them. The Grand Line was the most dangerous sea in the world and was no place for a baby whale. They vowed come back for Laboon in two or three years no matter what.

But the pirates never returned.

"So that's why he's bellowing and bashing his head against the Red Line," Nami realized.

"It's been fifty years and he still believes his friends are coming back," Crocus concluded.

"Those pirates… what were they called?" Sabo asked. "What was their mark? Who was their Captain?"

"They were the Rumbar Pirates," Crocus answered, "Their Captain was a man called 'Calico' Yorki. Their Jolly Roger had horns like a bull."

"Rumbar… Yorki… horns like a bull…" Sabo recounted, "Okay. We're about to head into the Grand Line. We'll keep our eyes out for any sign of those guys."

"Yeah," Usopp agreed, "We'll find out what happened to Rumbar Pirates."

"That's an admirable thought…" Crocus replied, "But I already did. I actually sailed with some pirates as their Ship Doctor over twenty years ago. Their Captain was very ill so I sailed with them for three years and did my best to prolong his life. During those three years I kept my eyes and ears peeled for any signs of them… Eventually I heard a rumor that most of the Rumbar Pirates died and the few that survived attempted to flee the Grand Line through the Calm Belt."

"So… they just abandoned their promise?" Zoro asked.

Crocus nodded, "I tried to tell Laboon but he doesn't believe me. That's when he started ramming his head into the Red Line. He thinks his friends are waiting for him on the other side."

Luffy's face went blank as he hung from Crocus' palm tree.

"Laboon's injuries just keep piling up," Crocus continued, "I built all of this inside him out of necessity. Traditional medicine doesn't work on something his size." Crocus sighed and got out of his chair. "There's only so much I can do. If Laboon keeps this up… he could die from his injuries."

Luffy's blank face was now set in a frown.

"Oh, whoa, we're here," Sanji noticed. The Straw Hats welcomed the changed from the somber subject and looked back to see that they had reached a large metal gate that was big enough for their ship to pass through.

"I'll open the gate for you," Crocus announced as he climbed up a ladder that led up from the waterway to the metal walkway that ran alongside it. He turned hatch and the door popped open.

 **Chunk-chuck-SHOOOM!**

The Straw Hats sailed out of the stomach and Sabo promptly untied Miss Wednesday and Mr. 9 then unceremoniously tossed them off the side of the Going Merry.

Mr. 9 woke with a shriek, "GAAAH! WE'RE IN THE STOMACH ACID! WE'LL BE DIGESTED!"

"Mr. 9! We're outside!" Miss Wednesday informed them. "This is normal sea water. You were knocked out and I was captured by pirates. They just released us."

Mr. 9 looked up to see Sabo still staring down at them from the railing. "Don't bother this whale again," Sabo ordered. "He's suffered enough already and is now under our protection. If I hear that you're still hunting him or that you've hurt him… I'll come back and I'll hunt _you_ down and I'll hurt _you_ just as a bad. Now get out of here."

"Wait… YOU! YOU HIT ME!" Mr. 9 exclaimed, "HOW DARE—"

"Yeah, I dare," Sabo interrupted. "I hit you because I _thought_ you were a cold-hearted, self-centered royal jackass. But I've since learned that you're a whale poacher so now I _know_ you're a cold-hearted, self-centered royal jackass! Mess with Laboon again and I won't use my fist… I'll use my gun."

Sabo aimed his rifle and fired.

 **KER-CHOW!**

"EEEIIYYYEEE!" Mr. 9 screamed like a little girl.

The shot didn't connect.

"MR. NINE!" Miss Wednesday suddenly exclaimed and pointed at his cheek.

Mr. 9 brought his fingers to his cheek and they came away red. Sabo's shot hadn't hit him. But it had gotten so close it had made a gash that looked like a red line crossing out the '9' drawn on his cheek.

"That's your only warning," Sabo growled. **"Now scram."**

The mysterious pair of whale hunting secret agents swam off like a monster was chasing them.

Sabo hefted Bonnie up and looked over at her, "Think we'll see them again?"

 **KER-CHOW!**

The rifle went off which caused Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday to swim away _even faster._

"Damn," Sabo complained. "Well, they know what's awaiting them if they come back." He turned away from the railing and spotted a bracelet with a small glass ball mounted on it lying on the deck. "Huh… one of them must've dropped this…" He picked it up and studied it. There was a needle in the middle of the ball. "Oh well, finders' keepers. They were a pair of whale-hunting jerks. It serves them right."

Sabo stuffed the bracelet into his pocket then immediately noticed that there was something different about the main deck. Zoro, Nami, Usopp and Sanji were all staring up at Laboon.

"Hey… wasn't there a mast here a minute ago?" Sabo inquired. The Going Merry's main mast had been torn from the deck and was nowhere in sight.

"Your dumbass brother took it," Zoro grunted.

"Where'd he take it?" Sabo questioned.

"There," Usopp answered as he pointed up towards Laboon.

Sabo looked up to see Luffy running up Laboon with the main mast poised over his head.

"GUUUM… GUUUM… BOOOOUUUQUEEEET!" Luffy reached the top and jammed the jagged end of the broken mast down into one of the open gashes on Laboon's head.

 **CHUUNK!**

"And now our main mast is on top of a whale," Sanji dead-panned.

"That's _another_ thing that we've gotta fix," Zoro complained.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?" The Straw Hats and Crocus all yelled up at Luffy.

" **BOOOUUUUHHHHH!"** Laboon let out a loud bellow of pain. He started to shake his head back and forth which caused the rubber pirate to swing around his head as he desperately clung to the mast.

"GRAB THE PADDLES!" Sabo shouted, "LET'S GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE LABOON CRUSHES US!"

"Hey! That's my line!" Zoro snapped.

"Then say it!" Sabo barked at him.

"GRAB THE PADDLES!" Zoro bellowed, "LET'S GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE THE WHALE CRUSHES US!"

Sabo, Zoro, Usopp and Sanji grabbed two paddles that they still had yet to put away since arriving in the Grand Line and started frantically paddling away from the enraged whale and towards one of the lighthouses that the Twin Capes were named after.

"LOOK OUT!" Sanji shouted as Laboon rammed his head and Luffy into the shore.

 **WHOOOM!**

"THAT KID'S A GONER!" Crocus exclaimed.

"Don't worry about him," Nami reassured him. "Luffy's made of rubber. He can take a beating better than anybody."

Laboon pulled back from the shore to reveal that Luffy had been squished like a pancake.

 **FLOOM!**

But then he inflated and stood back up, "IS THAT THE BEST YOU'VE GOT!?" he yelled at the whale. "GUUUM… GUUUM… PIIISTOOOL!"

Luffy stretched his arm out and once again drove his fist into Laboon's eye.

 **POW!**

"WHAT IS THAT LUNATIC TRYING TO DO!?" Usopp shrieked.

Laboon came back and slammed head first into the shore.

 **WHOOOM!**

Luffy managed to avoid being squished this time. But the sheer force of the massive whale slamming head-first into the shore blew Luffy backwards into the lighthouse.

 **WHAM!**

Luffy hit the side and dropped to the ground then sat up as Laboon glared at him.

"IT'S A DRAW!"

"…" Everyone stopped and stared at Luffy as he stood up and faced off with Laboon.

"I'm pretty strong, huh?" Luffy teased his giant opponent. Laboon's eyes widened in surprise. "Our fight still has to be settled so we're going to have to fight again someday. Your old friends may be dead… but now you and I are rivals. Once my crew and I sail around the Grand Line, we'll come back here to visit you… then you and I will settle our score."

"…" Laboon's huge eyes welled up with massive tears and Crocus had a pleased smile on his face. The whale eventually let out another bellow. Only this one didn't sound quite so sorrowful.

" **BBBWWWOOOHHH!"**

There was a wide smile on Luffy's face when he came back to the Merry. "Now I need some paint."

"We don't actually have much left after we painted the flag…" Usopp admitted.

"Then I'll lend you some," Crocus announced. "There are no words to describe how grateful I am that you were able to help Laboon."

"If you _really_ wanna help maybe you could help him paint too," Sabo suggested. "My brother is sort of… artistically challenged. But you seem to be a fair painter."

A thoughtful look crossed Luffy's face, "Oh! Dr. Flower-guy! Join our crew as our Doctor-Artist!"

"No way," Crocus refused, "I've got better things to do than babysit a bunch of kids."

"Hmph," Luffy grunted then turned to the Quartermaster, "Sabo! Make a note! In addition to a Musician… we also need an Artist for all of our… artist-y needs."

"I'll keep that in mind, Captain," Sabo agreed, "While we're at it… maybe we should add a Doctor to the list too? Or maybe even a Shipwright to help us keep up with the repairs to the Going Merry."

"Okay but the Musician and the Artist are the most important," Luffy insisted.

"You know… _I_ can draw, Luffy," Usopp reminded him, "I made the design for our flag, remember?"

"Yeah, but I want an Artist that can draw even better than you can!" Luffy told him. "And one that doesn't just do it as a hobby. I want a _real_ Artist!"

"He certainly knows what he wants," Sanji remarked.

"I just wish it was something important for a change," Nami remarked dryly. "Our _beloved_ Captain really needs to work on his priorities."

"I'll help you out _this time_ , kid," Crocus stated, "What did you want to paint?"

Luffy grinned and pointed to the black flag that was flying at the back of the ship, "That."

Crocus smiled, "Alright, I can do that."

"Keep him busy for as long as you can," Zoro requested, "The rest of us have to repair our ship."

Crocus nodded and led Luffy away from the Going Merry to get his paints from the lighthouse.

"Actually… I was going to cook that fish I won to celebrate reaching the Grand Line," Sanji said.

"Have fun, boys," Nami called out to them, "In the meantime I'll be plotting our course…"

"THAT STUFF CAN WAIT!" Zoro snapped at them, "I SAID: _**the rest of us**_ have to repair our ship!"

"Alright, alright, geez!" Nami relented, "When did you suddenly become the Bossy Bosun?"

"You guys were right," Sanji commented, "The Mossball's really is taking this Bosun thing seriously."

"Tell me about it," Usopp agreed.

"You!" Zoro jabbed his finger at Sabo, "Go get the mast back from the whale. The rest of us will start fixing the figurehead. Then _you two_ ," Zoro jabbed his fingers at Sanji and Nami, "Will fix the broken whipstaff in the galley before doing that other stuff you mentioned. In the meantime, me, Usopp and the Rifle-freak are going to tackle the big project of fixing the main mast. **DON'T** let Luffy touch anything."

"I _may have_ created a monster…" Sabo commiserated with the others, "Oops. Sorry guys."

* * *

This is getting to be a bit long so I'm going to end it here and have the Straw Hats sort out the Log Pose and get to Whisky Peak in the next chapter.

Beware Zoro the Bossy Boatswain! Does he seem OOC? Honestly, I think Zoro just needs some direction (in more ways than one). He takes his job as First Mate seriously enough. It's just not very hands on. There have been multiple times where he's stepped up and led the other Straw Hats when Luffy wasn't around. He's extremely loyal to Luffy and allows the Captain to do his own thing because he knows there's usually a point to Luffy's seemingly idiotic ideas. He's also the one that Usopp and Chopper go to for manly advice. He takes those responsibilities very seriously and is a good First Mate but since Sabo grew up with Luffy, he serves as a slightly better right hand since he's able to anticipate his brother's crazy whims and is more practiced in running damage control when things go wrong.

As the Boatswain, Zoro's main job is to maintain the Going Merry. He may seem lazy at times but Zoro has never been afraid of physical labor and he's never backed away from a challenge. I also think it's nice that there's someone on the crew (other than Usopp) that's actively looking out for the Merry's best interest. Zoro has shown that he isn't afraid to take responsibility when the need calls for it but here he realizes that if he _doesn't_ badger the others into helping him out with the Merry, he'll end up having to do all the work himself. The sooner the Going Merry is fixed… the sooner he can take a nap.

Hey ichikoKitsuneKoumori – How's _that_ for keeping Merry safe? She's got Zoro looking after her now!

OH! ALSO! _Brother on Board_ has a TV Tropes page! I posted a sort-of link in my profile. A special thank you goes out to the Patient One for bringing it to my attention and for filling out a lot of it. Thanks! And an extra special thank you goes out to the Poarter for creating the TV Tropes page in the first place.

Silver signing off


	25. Log Pose

_**BROTHER ON BOARD**_

The Patient One - Luffy's very stubborn. Once he gets it in his head that he wants something there's no stopping him. He wants an artist so the Straw Hats are going to have to look for one. A pose for Sabo and Bonnie? He'd either be standing straight with Bonnie thrown over his shoulder in a pose similar to how Zoro held his sword in the March to Arlong Park. Or, he'd be at a slight angle with Bonnie going behind his neck across both shoulders in a casual Benn Beckman pose. I've got pictures of Bonnie Anne (the rifle _)_ on my DeviantArt page. There are links to the pictures in my profile. Oh, and remember, my Sabo doesn't have the scar over his eye which is why he never got amnesia.

Guest - But you'll see in this chapter that the monster is actually somewhat useful. Good point about the Vivi-Sabo debate. But I've still got a couple chapters until the big reveal that we all know is coming.

Littlest1 - The bests artists in the series so far are Miss. Golden Week, Galdino and Mr. 13. So there's a chance it could be one of them.

Wiba - There's no doubt that with is more involved role on board the Going Merry that Zoro will inevitably become more attached to the caravel. But even then I don't think he'll be on Usopp's unique level of devotion. Plus, Zoro doesn't seem like the kind of guy that would believe in ghosts or the supernatural until it was staring him in the face. Luffy also seems to have a knack for spotting things. I think part of that is because he spends so much time hanging off the front of the ship. I've thought about a number of those uses for a Zoan Bonnie and I've taken them into account while making my decision on what to do with her further on in the story.

Fairy of the Friz - Thanks. Glad you're back. I've actually got plans for a side story which will show Bonnie's backstory, her meetings with Ace, Sabo and Luffy, how 'relationship' with Sabo started some other scenes that we've already seen done from her perspective. But I have to pass a certain point in _this_ story before I start that. I think I'll call it 'Brother on Board: Gun-Shots' (Because it sounds like 'one shots' and the main character is a gun! Ker-shishishi! I kill me.)

Lostdog200 - I prefer the sub. While I think the Funimation crew is doing a great job on the dub... The horrible 4-Kids version has still left a sore spot. Also, I like hearing the original voices as intended. Even if I don't understand them without the subtitles. But my main source for writing this story is an English translation of the manga.

BedofRoses1989 - You could write an essay about one of my chapters? My college experience taught me that you have to be really passionate about something to actually _want to_ write an essay about it. So thank you for showing so much enthusiasm and support. Coincidentally, I _have_ actually written essays about One Piece. I had a Media Theory class where my professor allowed us to pick any form of media and use it to write about the theory we were discussing. Guess which show I picked... THREE TIMES!

AnyMoreBrightIdeasGenius - Yeah. Sabo and Vivi already aren't getting along so well. You can only imagine how much worse it will get when he learns she's an actual Princess. _But_ Vivi's the good kind of royalty so hopefully their interactions with each other will make Sabo a better, more understanding person... until they meet Wapol and Enel of course.

rasEnshuriKEn - I'm trying to stay away from OCs with this story. At least any in major roles. I know Sabo is OOC enough to be considered an OC but I'd like to think that I still consider his canon backstory when I'm writing him. One of the authors that originally inspired me to start writing had an interesting interpretation of a certain artist that really showed off their potential. He ended his series but I got his permission to use some of his ideas while also incorporating some of my own.

Lunapok - I've heard it said that some of the best relationships are the ones where a person is challenged, learns more about him/herself and becomes a better person in the end. I'm hoping to do something like that in the long run between me kind-of bigoted Sabo and Vivi.

Psychochiken - Interesting logic. We'll see how that plays out in about... four chapters' time. BTW, I love your full name 'The Gloriously Insane Psychochiken'. Woo! Show that insanity with pride! Crazy people are always more fun than anyone that claims they're 'normal'.

Syluk - (In response to your review in ch 21) Bonnie's language is limited but in the end its pretty simple and depends on the situation. **KER-CHOW!** is usually an affirmative. Or she's just firing and basically shouting 'Snap out of it' - her Rouse technique. Or if she's firing at something in particular it could mean 'hey, look at that'. As you'll see in this chapter, when a **KER-CHOW** is made towards Nami it's a threat that can be translated to 'step off, bitch'. A **Click** is usually a negative response. But a loud **CLICK** can usually be considered some kind of curse or insult. Of course, it helps that Sabo's usually there to translate and provide context.

Patient One and Flux Casey - Thanks for mentioning Brother on Board on your podcast again! I'm flattered that you gave me a shout out two weeks in a row. And the second one was on your three-year anniversary too. Thanks a lot for your public praise!

* * *

 **Log Pose-**

"There! It's done!" Luffy announced as he and Crocus stood on the shore and surveyed their work. Together they had painted the Straw Hat Jolly Roger over the gashes on Laboon's head.

"Not bad, kid," Crocus remarked.

"That will be the symbol of our promise to fight again someday," Luffy addressed Laboon. "So stop smashing your head into the wall or you'll rub it off, okay? It's a promise. I'll definitely come back and see you again so we can finish our fight."

" **BUUOOH!"** Laboon agreed.

"…" Crocus smiled silently. He was both extremely proud of and extremely grateful to the bold young pirate standing next to him. Luffy had succeeded in mending the wound in Laboon's heart. He'd replaced the broken promise from the Rumbar Pirates with one of his own. The old lighthouse keeper had a feeling deep down inside him that he could not only count on this pirate to live up to his promise but to even _over deliver_ on it.

In the meantime, the rest of the Straw Hats had managed to fix the broken figurehead and Nami and Sanji had made short work of repairing the broken whipstaff.

"Time to plan our route…" Nami resolved as she sat at the table outside the lighthouse and poured over a map, "It looks like there are seven different islands to choose from…"

"This Blue-Finned Elephant Tuna is perfect!" Sanji gushed as he prepared the fish he'd won at Loguetown in the galley.

"Hurry up!" a shirtless Zoro grunted at Sabo and Usopp as he strained to hold the main mast in place, "This thing's friggin' heavy."

"Hold on, we're not professional carpenters!" Usopp complained. He and the Quartermaster were currently nailing boards across the tear between the base of the mast coming out of the deck and the top of the mast that had been torn off. "Why aren't we just wrapping a sheet of metal around it?"

"We'll do that later," Sabo told him, "Think of the sheet as a bandage. It works great to cover a wound… but it's not the best when you're dealing with a severe injury. Zoro, show him your chest."

Zoro growled and pushed himself partially away from the mast which revealed the stitched up battle scar that he'd gotten from his fight against Mihawk.

"See, these boards are going to be like stitches," Sabo explained, "They're going to hold the wound closed then we'll nail the sheet on top of it. That should keep the mast more secure than just the sheet."

"Oh, that makes sense," Usopp replied. "How do you know so much about carpentry and injuries?"

"I just picked up a few things," Sabo replied, "Being a big brother means sometimes patching up your younger brother's messes. Luffy made a lot of messes. So you can say I've had practice in the basics."

"HURRY THE HELL UP!" Zoro yelled at them as he continued to strain with the mast.

Sabo and Usopp quickly finished nailing in their cross boards. "Okay… I think that'll hold it…"

Zoro immediately stepped back from the mast then dropped to the ground and slid back so he was sitting against the side of the ship. The mast stayed standing and he let out a sigh of relief.

"Now nail on that metal bandage you guys were going on about," the Boatswain instructed as he put his shirt back on, "The sooner you do that, the sooner we finish and the sooner _I_ can finally take a nap."

Sabo bent the metal and slowly wrapped the long sheet around the mast then held it in place so Usopp could hammer it down. Eventually the metal-bandage was attached to the mast above and below the board-stitches. They stepped back and admired their work.

"Think that'll hold?" Usopp asked.

"Hopefully," Sabo answered. "They might not be pretty… and they're definitely not professional… _but_ the repairs are done."

Usopp smiled and patted the mast, "There you go, Merry. All fixed."

" **Zzzzzzz…"** That was all that Zoro needed to hear. He was sound asleep.

"The beast… he's finally silent!" Sabo exclaimed.

"Good…" Usopp replied. "Don't wake him up. I've had my fill of the Bossy Bosun for today."

"AAAAAAARRRRGGGGAAAAAHHH!"

Sabo and Usopp both flinched at Nami's frustrated scream… then sighed in relief when they looked down and saw that Zoro had slept through it.

"Ugh…" Usopp groaned in annoyance. "We fixed one problem… and now another's popped up."

"That's the Grand Line for ya," Sabo retorted, "If you wanna make it here you've gotta be able to roll with the punches." Sabo casually scooped Bonnie Anne up off of the deck and made his way towards Nami. "Let's go see what this problem is…"

"What's going on Nami?" Luffy asked. He and Crocus had been the closest and had been the first to reach the table outside the lighthouse. "Why are you being so noisy?"

"This compass… it's broken!" Nami exclaimed, "It's pointing all over the place and doesn't stay still." She pointed down at the compass and its needle which was whirling around over and over again.

"It looks like you came where without knowing anything," Crocus remarked, "Were you planning to just throw your lives away? That compass isn't broken. It doesn't work here. This ocean is unlike any other."

"Then what is it?" Nami wondered. "The only thing I can think of that would make the compass act like that is a magnetic field."

"Try seven," Crocus corrected her. "The islands here in the Grand Line are so rich with different minerals that it causes a geomagnetic anomaly. Compasses go haywire because they are not made to register the magnetism coming from all the islands. On top of that, the winds and currents here are as unpredictable as can be and cause strange weather. Even common sense fails when navigating in this sea."

"So then how are we supposed to navigate?" Sabo asked as he and Usopp arrived at the table.

"You need a Log Pose," Crocus answered. "It's a special type of compass that _logs_ the unique magnetic field of an island and points straight towards it."

"What does a Log Pose look like and how can we get one?" Usopp inquired.

"It's a small glass ball with a compass needle in the middle," Crocus answered which caused Sabo's eyes to widen in surprise. "Most people navigating the Grand Line have at least one."

"So… like this?" Sabo asked as he pulled out the glass ball bracelet he'd picked up earlier.

Nami glared at him, "YOU HAD A LOG POSE ALL THIS TIME AND DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!?"

"I didn't know what it was until just now!" Sabo insisted, "I think one of the whale hunters must have dropped it."

Nami took the Log Pose from Sabo and stared at the needle. "So this is a Log Pose…"

Luffy and Usopp scrambled around the table and took seats beside Nami so they could look over her shoulders at the Log Pose. "Oooooooooo!"

" **NAAMIII-SWAAAN!"** Sanji practically sang as he carried over plates piled high with fillets of fish. "Oh, and you guys too… I'VE FINISHED WITH LUNCH!" Sanji set six plates on the table for his four crewmates, Crocus and himself along with a seventh that was piled high with seconds. "Lunch is served!"

"OH BOY!" Luffy cheered and immediately started to dig in. He didn't even bother with a fork and knife and just shoveled the fish into his mouth.

"Great, I'm starving," Sabo commented sat down across from his brother and pulled his own plate closer to him.

"Me too," Usopp said as he took the seat on the other side of Nami.

Nami didn't even acknowledge the specially prepared plate that Sanji had set in front of her and was still staring fixated at the Log Pose.

"I apologize for the delay," Sanji addressed the others as he took a seat beside Sabo and across from Nami, "I would have been out here sooner but we received a snail-call from the Loguetown Marines. Miss. Tashigi called to inform us that the pirates we beat have escaped again."

That got Nami's attention. She and Usopp gaped at the Ship's Cook. "WHAT!?"

"Arlong escaped… AGAIN!?" Nami shrieked, "What do I have to do to get away from that creep?"

"Not Jango and Kuro!" Usopp gasped.

"Dish ish good!" Luffy mumbled as he ate all the food off of the 'seconds' plate.

"Arlong, the clown, the acrobat and the hypnotist all escaped," Sanji clarified, "But Kuro and the ax-guy are still in custody."

"Seriously?" Sabo questioned. "That's gotta be some kind of record. We only just beat those guys a few hours ago and now they've already escaped."

"She said someone called 'Alvida' broke the others out with the help of the beast tamer and his lion," Sanji continued.

"Oh… oops…" Sabo said as he batted Luffy's hand away from his plate, "I guess leaving those three lying unconscious in an alley wasn't enough… Next time I'll try gift wrapping them."

"Miss. Tashigi informed me that she and Captain Smoker are heading into the Grand Line in an attempt to recapture the escaped pirates," Sanji stated, "She wanted to warn us because the pirates going to be coming after us for revenge."

"Well," Crocus said as he calmly ate the fish off of his own plate while Luffy ate everything that had been on Sanji's. "The good news is that once you decide on a course to take, your enemies will only have a one-in-seven chance of picking the same one as you."

"How does that one-in-seven thing work again?" Nami inquired as Luffy snagged the specially prepared food off of her plate and shoveled it into his mouth.

"Ooh! Duh tunk ish mah favlite paht!" Luffy mumbled as he gulped it down.

"The islands in the Grand Line are all in a series of chains," Crocus explained as he set his plate down on the table. "The Log Pose records the magnetic interaction between two islands and points from one to the next on in the chain. Each magnetic field takes a specific amount of time for the Log Pose to record. From here there are seven paths you can take across the Grand Line. Some of those paths eventually join together… some don't interact with the others at all. You and your enemies could potentially take separate paths on opposite sides of the Grand Line and never see each other. But there are ways to travel to specific islands if you have a set destination in mind. So you still need to watch out."

While Crocus was explaining, Luffy had managed to clean off Crocus and Usopp's plates.

"But no matter which path you take… they all eventually end in one place," Crocus stated, "Raftel. That's the last island in the Grand Line but it's also the most mysterious. The only pirates to ever even confirm its existence were the Pirate King and his crew."

Luffy froze as he made blind grab for Sabo's plate which his brother easily avoided. "The Pirate King?"

"Does that mean… that's the island the One Piece is on?" Usopp asked.

"It could be," Crocus replied. "Only the Pirate King and his crew know that. No one else even knows how to find Raftel. It's said that just the method of locating the magnetic field that leads to it is a mystery in and of itself."

"Then we'll just have to see when we get there," Luffy decided. He made another grab for Sabo's plate at the same time as his brother did.

 **Chomp!**

"OW!" Luffy howled. "SABO! YOU BIT MY HAND! CANNIBAL!"

"That's what you get for putting _your_ hand on _my_ plate," Sabo taunted as he finished off his food.

"Oh well," Luffy said as he patted his belly, "I'm done anyway. Is it time to go?"

Usopp and Sanji finally noticed the empty table.

"YOU ATE EVERYTHING BY YOURSELF!" Sanji yelled.

"HE EVEN ATE THE BONES!" Usopp gasped.

"You've gotta be ready to defend your plate when you're eating with Luffy," Sabo remarked, "To him everything on the table is fair game."

"I liked the trunk the best," Luffy informed the others with a big goofy smile.

"YOU RUBBER BASTARD!" Sanji yelled as he vaulted across the table and kicked Luffy out of his seat, "THAT WAS SPECIALLY MADE FOR NAMI-SWAN TO ENJOY!"

"And it was delicious!" Luffy happily assured him as he got back up.

"This Log Pose is really important…" Nami noted as she slipped the bracelet onto her wrist, "Without it… we're screwed. So we've gotta be extra careful to make sure it doesn't—"

"YOU GLUTTONOUS PIG!"

 **THWAK!**

Luffy came flying over and slammed into Nami which caused her to bump into Usopp.

 **KREK!**

Everyone froze at the sound of glass cracking.

" **You guys…"** Nami seethed.

Luffy and Sanji went stiff.

Sabo held Bonnie up in front of him like a shield.

"Yipe!" Usopp was so terrified by Nami's expression that he sprang out of his seat and hid behind Sanji.

Even Crocus flinched at Nami's murderous glare.

" **YOU IDIOTS!"** Nami roared as she ran and gave Luffy a good kick that contained all her anger. **"GO SOAK YOUR HEADS!"**

 **THWHAM!**

Luffy slammed into Sanji, Sanji slammed into Usopp and all three of them went flying off the cape and flew at least twenty feet before they crashed down into the ocean.

"Wow… that was some kick…" Sabo remarked as he peaked out from behind his rifle. Nami turned and glared at him and he immediately ducked behind his rifle again.

"You have two options…" Nami snarled at him. Sabo probably just imagined the demonic aura of pure rage flaring up behind her. "You can be _useful_ or you can _join them_. **What's it gonna be?"**

"I'll be good!" he squeaked.

Nami reclaimed her seat at the table and took several deep calming breaths as she stared at her map. " _Now_ what are we gonna do?" the exasperated Navigator wondered. "We only had the one Log Pose and that's the only way to navigate in the Grand Line…"

"You can have mine," Crocus offered as he pulled out a similar glass ball.

Nami's face lit up, "Really?"

"Be useful or join them, right?" Crocus clarified, "Take it as a 'thank you' gift for helping Laboon."

"Thank you so much!" Nami gushed as she took the Log Pose and stared reverently at the glass ball. "None of you numbskulls are so much as _touching_ this. Without it we're _sunk_."

Crocus leaned closer towards Sabo and whispered, "I spent three sailing with pirates through some of the most dangerous parts of the Grand Line. The Captain treated it like a fun vacation where we were going sightseeing. But even _he_ would be terrified by that woman."

" **What was that?"** Nami growled.

"NOTHING!" the old Doctor squawked. "SO! Have you decided which path you want to take yet? I can help you log the magnetic field…"

"Crocus, you've been here long enough to know what island each of the paths leads to," Nami realized, "Is there one in particular that would increase our chances of not dying?"

"Well… two of the islands are swarming with bounty hunters…" Crocus recounted. "And…"

"STOP!" Sabo interrupted, "NO SPOILERS!"

"What? I'm trying to save our lives!" Nami argued with him, "If we know which of the islands are dangerous we can avoid them."

"That kind of adventure is no fun," Sabo insisted, "This is the Grand Line. Sailing this sea is one giant mystery adventure. You don't know what dangers or what marvels are awaiting you and that's the whole point. If you know what's coming… it ruins the magic."

"I DON'T CARE ABOUT MAGIC!" Nami snapped, "I CARE ABOUT _LIVING_!"

"If you live your life without any risk… I'd hardly call it 'living'," Sabo retorted.

"THAT'S IT!" Nami shouted as she made to leap across the table, "YOU'RE GOING FOR A SWIM!"

 **KER-CHOW!**

Bonnie went off and Nami jumped back away from the rifle.

Sabo patted Bonnie Anne then turned and smirked at Crocus, "Bonnie Anne's my Nami Repellent."

"TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY!" Nami hollered, "I'm _trying_ to keep us all alive."

"I understand and I appreciate that," Sabo replied, "But that's not your call."

"What? I'm the _Navigator_ ," Nami reminded him.

"Yes," Sabo agreed, "And that means that you're in charge of charting our course. But our _destination_ … That is, and always will be, the Captain's decision to make. And I can tell you right now, Luffy would absolutely hate it if we were sailing out towards an island where we all knew what was waiting for us. He would sooner quit being a pirate altogether than go on a boring adventure."

Nami let out a distressed and highly annoyed sigh then rested her head in her hands. "Knowing Luffy, we'll end up taking the most dangerous route possible… it could be suicide."

"I think you kids are gonna be okay," Crocus stated. "I already said this was a sea that defied common sense. The most successful pirates in this sea are sometimes the ones that don't have any sense at all. It's the crazy ones with adventurous spirit like your Captain and Quartermaster that go far here."

"There you go, Nami," Sabo reassured her, "You've been calling us crazy since the day we met."

"Who knew that would end up being a good thing…" Nami grumbled, "I guess we'll just have to wait until Luffy gets back and decides which course to take."

" **HEY NAMI! WE WANNA GO TO WHISKEY PEAK!"**

Sabo, Nami and Crocus all turned to see that Luffy, Usopp and Sanji had returned from their swim… and had brought Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday back with them.

"What's Whiskey Peak?" Nami asked as she eyed the two agents skeptically while Sabo and Crocus both glared at them.

"It's the name of our town," Miss Wednesday explained. "We… lost our ship… and are in desperate need of a ride back home."

"So you expect us to just forget that you were trying to kill Laboon and give you a ride?" Nami asked. "You expect us to trust you on our ship? We don't even know who you guys are."

"I'm a…" Mr. 9 trailed off when he saw Sabo clench his fist with an eager expression. "Uh…"

"He's a secret agent!" Miss Wednesday stated, "We're both secret agents. Our secret organization is very dangerous. They…" The girl decided to shift from half-truths to the actual truth. "They were the ones that destroyed our ship. It wasn't lost, it was blown up. Our boss has already learned that we've not only been unsuccessful in obtaining the whale meat but also that you pirates know about our organization."

"And… and my Log Pose is gone," Mr. 9 added, "It's because of you that we not only failed our mission but also lost our means of getting home. If you pirates have even a shred of kindness and decency in your hearts, you'll help two poor souls in need."

Both agents dropped to their knees and were outright groveling. "Please! We beg you!"

"Haha!" Sabo chuckled, "Nice work Nami… you've got _a King_ bowing to you."

"…" Miss Wednesday shot him a quick but silent glare.

"Well about your Log Pose…" Nami replied as she held up the bracelet of the broken Log Pose, "It broke. Do you still want a ride?"

"GAAH!" Mr. 9 shrieked in alarm as both agents shot back up to their feet, "THAT WAS MINE!"

"WE BEGGED ON OUR KNEES AND YOU WERE JUST AS STUCK AS WE ARE!?" Miss Wednesday snapped.

"Oh, but I forgot to mention that Crocus gave us a new one," Nami added as she showed them the working Log Pose that Crocus had given her.

Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday immediately dropped back down to their knees. "PLEASE! WE BEG YOU!"

" _Damn that girl… she tricked us!"_

"What do you think, Luffy?" Sabo asked. "These two definitely don't look trustworthy."

"It's okay," Luffy replied. "They can come if they want. Take care of it, Sabo."

"Fine then," Sabo agreed, "I'll make it happen, Cap'n."

Sabo walked over to Nami and crouched down next to her so he was at eye-level with the two groveling secret agents.

"Here's how this is going to work," he announced, "You're not coming along as passengers. You're going to pull your weight and help us out. You managed to get here from Whiskey Peak… so you're going to help us get from here back to Whiskey Peak."

"That's… acceptable," Mr. 9 agreed.

"AND!" Nami added with a smirk, "We're setting our course so we can help you out. We expect to be compensated for our troubles." Miss Wednesday didn't like the greedy glint in her eyes.

"We lost our ship and everything on it," the blue haired girl reminded the pirates, "We don't have any money."

"It's a good thing we don't want money then," Sabo replied. Nami glared at him. _She_ wanted money. "Let's just say… you'll owe us a favor."

"Oh, no you don't!" Mr. 9 exclaimed, "I'm not giving shifty pirates a blank check! What's this favor?"

"You owe us and I'm transferring that debt to Laboon," Sabo stated, "We'll take you guys home… but in exchange, you _and_ your organization will stay away from this whale and never bother him again."

"You already threatened us not to go after the whale earlier," Mr. 9 said as he pointed at the partially healed gash on his cheek.

"Yeah, and now I've got more leverage," Sabo countered, "So you know what'll happen if you break our agreement and forget our favor."

"Fine, you've got a deal," Mr. 9 agreed as he held out his hand.

Sabo made to reach out for it but his eyes flicked upward towards the crown. He turned and shook Miss. Wednesday's hand instead which in turn caused the blue haired woman to glare at him for a still unknown reason.

Nami shook her head and turned back to Crocus, "It looks like we're decided. Do you wanna show me how to use the Log Pose now?" Crocus nodded and led Nami back to the table.

"Alright, get on the ship," Sabo ordered the two agents. "And if I suspect that you two are up to any funny business…" Sabo slapped Bonnie in his palm, "Bonnie Anne, here, has two bullets with your fake names on 'em."

* * *

"You're all set," Crocus announced. "The magnetic field has been logged now all you have to do is follow the Log Pose and you'll eventually make it to Whiskey Peak."

"Yup, it's pointing towards Whiskey Peak," Nami noted as she glanced from the glass ball on her wrist to the location on the map. "Thanks for all your help."

Nami boarded the Going Merry and Crocus stood on the shore to say a final goodbye to the Straw Hats.

"Are you sure about picking Whiskey Peak, kid?" Crocus inquired as he looked up at Luffy who was happily sitting in his repaired seat on the figurehead. "This is the only place you can change your route. Once you start sailing there's no turning back."

"It's fine," Luffy replied, "If we don't like this route, we'll just sail all the way around and pick another one the next time."

Crocus smirked, "That you will…"

"Their Captain's a buffoon," Mr. 9 whispered to Miss Wednesday.

"You kids are sailing into some rough weather," Crocus warned them, "But if anyone can survive the unpredictable nature of the Grand Line… I think it'll be you guys."

"Thanks for your vote of confidence," Sabo chimed in, "Sanji, raise the anchor. I don't wanna wake up the Bossy Bosun just so he can do it."

"Good call," Sanji agreed as he eyed the sleeping Boatswain who was on his back next to the railing before he headed into the anchor room and spun the capstand to raise the Going Merry's anchor.

"Oi, you two," Sabo jabbed his finger at the two agents. "Help Usopp set the sails."

Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday grumbled to themselves as the followed after the Master Gunner.

"We're going now," Luffy announced as the Going Merry drifted away from the shore. "Bye Flower-guy!"

"Thanks for the Log Pose," Nami called out.

"See ya then," Crocus returned,

"GOODBYE WHALE!" Luffy shouted to Laboon as the Going Merry sailed passed the whale. "I'LL BE BACK TO FINISH OUR FIGHT!"

" **BBBUUUWWWOOOHHH!"** Laboon let out a happy bellow that translated to 'Good luck, friends'.

Crocus stood smiling on the shore as he watched the Going Merry sail off in a distance. "Perhaps those are the pirates we've been waiting for. That Captain's got a mysterious aura about him." He grinned as he thought of his old sailing companion. "What do you think, Roger?

* * *

"It's the man that fell from the sky… MR. SNOWMAN!" Luffy exclaimed.

The Straw Hats were on their way to Whiskey Peak to drop off Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday. The sea was currently being affected by the magnetic fields from the first seven islands in the Grand Line and now they'd encountered the first bit of the strange weather that Crocus had warned them about. One moment it was sunny and peaceful… the next the deck of the Going Merry was buried under a thick blanket of snow.

Luffy, Sabo and Usopp seemed pleased with the change in weather and had immediately started making snowmen. Oblivious and unconcerned about the freezing cold that had accompanied the snow.

Luffy's 'Mr. Snowman' showed that he wasn't only bad at painting but everything remotely artistic. The snowman was lumpy, its eyes were uneven and the barrel on its head was at a crooked angle.

"Wow… I can see why you badly need an artist," Usopp taunted, "But take a look at _this_!" The Master Gunner proudly motioned to his own snow sculpture. "BEHOLD! AN ARTISTIC MASTERPIECE…THE SNOW-WOMAN!" Usopp's 'snow-woman' was masterfully crafted to the point where its soft feminine features made it look exactly like Kaya. "Hahaha! Do you still think I can't double up as your artist?"

Luffy folded his arms across his chest and pouted stubbornly, "Yes."

"Wow… that's cool Usopp," Sabo remarked as he turned away from his own snowman near the railing. Bonnie was propped against the main mast behind him. "But I bet yours can't _move_."

"Your snowman can move?" Usopp asked as he surveyed Sabo's snowman.

Sabo's snow sculpting talents appeared to be somewhere between Luffy and Usopp's. The three balls of snow were well-sized and perfectly round, the red button he'd used as a nose was centered on the top ball, the two big rocks that made the eyes were at the same height and the smaller rocks making up the snowman's smile were perfectly spaced.

"Not just that, my snowman is gonna come to life," Sabo stated.

"Cool! I wanna see!" Luffy exclaimed as he and Usopp joined Sabo in front of his snowman.

"Y'see, I heard this story about some kids that put a magic top hat on a snowman and it came to life," Sabo explained as he took off his top hat.

"Wait… are you saying your top hat is magical?" Usopp questioned.

"No, don't be silly," Sabo replied. "But we're in the Grand Line now. This is the legendary ocean where anything is possible. So if magic exists in any part of the world… it would be here."

Luffy and Usopp held their breath and watched as Sabo reached out and placed his top hat on the snowman's head. Neither of them noticed Sabo kicking the foot that was sticking out of the bottom of the snowman.

 **Thwak!**

" **Uuuggghh…"** the 'snowman' suddenly groaned.

"WAAAH! IT'S AAALIIIIIVEEEEE!" Luffy and Usopp went bug-eyed and shrieked in alarm as the snowman started to shake. Sabo quickly stepped back over to the mast.

"GAH! AND IT'S ATTACKING!" Usopp screeched as the snowman pitched forward.

 **FLOOSH!**

The snowman fell on top of the startled pirates and buried them in snow.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Sabo burst out laughing as he scooped up his top hat and put it back on. "Bonnie, did you see the look on their faces!? PRICELESS! HAHAHAHAHA!"

"Huh… wazzat?" Zoro groaned as he sat up and yawned in the spot Sabo's snowman had once been.

Luffy and Usopp popped out of the snow that had buried them.

"YOU BUILT YOUR SNOWMAN ON TOP OF ZORO?" Luffy exclaimed.

"HAHAHAHA!" Sabo was still laughing "That's what… HAHA… he gets for… HAHA… sleeping like a log!"

"YOU JERK!" Usopp yelled. "THAT SCARED THE CRAP OUTTA ME!"

"THAT'S WHY IT'S SO FUNNY!" Sabo replied, "HAHAHAHA—"

 **SPLAT!**

Sabo's laughter was finally cut off by a snowball splattering on his face. "Who threw that?"

"I did," Zoro answered. "You built a snowman on top of me and woke me from my nap. Plus, your laughter was annoying me so you had it coming."

Sabo's eyes narrowed as he reached down and scoop up a handful of snow, "Of course you know… this means war…"

"SNOWBALL FIGHT!" Luffy hollered as he molded a batch of snowballs of his own.

A moment later, Luffy, Sabo, Zoro and Usopp were in the middle of an all-out snow _war_.

"So immature…" Nami scoffed as she peered out the window in the galley door. "How can they frolic like that? It's freezing out there."

"NAAAMIII-SWAAAN!" Sanji sang out from the front deck where he was shoveling snow. "How much longer would you like me to keep shoveling snow as this Labor of Love?"

"UNTIL IT STOPS!" Nami shouted back.

"It's freezing in here," an agitated voice came from the galley table behind her.

Nami turned to see Miss Wednesday and Mr. 9 bundled up in blankets.

"Doesn't your ship have a heating system?" Mr. 9 complained.

"THIS IS A _PIRATE SHIP_ NOT A LUXURY CRUISE LINE!" Nami berated them. "WHY DON'T YOU DO SOMETHING USEFUL FOR A CHANGE?"

"Well… I noticed that you haven't looked at your Log Pose or adjusted the rudder in quite some time," Miss Wednesday noted. "Do you really think that's wise?"

"I just checked our course a minute ago," Nami insisted.

 **FWASH!**

There was a bright flash from outside the window and Nami whirled around to see a storm rolling in. "Lightning? It was clear ten minutes ago… then that snow came out of nowhere… and now _lightning_. This weather is just as crazy as Crocus said…"

The door was pulled open to reveal Sabo. "Hey!" he called out. "The wind's picking up. I think we're sailing into a storm." Sabo stared passed Nami at the crowned man sitting at the table. "Eh-hem. That means get off your ass and help us out!"

"What? But I'm your guest here!" Mr. 9 protested.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Sabo snapped snarkily, "Did I forget to say 'if it pleases your Royal Highness'? One of the reasons I agreed to bring you along is because you already sailed through all this crazy weather to get to the Twin Capes. That means you'll know how to get back through it. SO GET OFF YOUR _ROYAL ASS_ AND LEND A HAND!"

Both Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday sprang up out of their seats and rushed for the door.

"Oi, I didn't mean you," Sabo told Miss Wednesday, "I was talking to King Doofus."

"I… um… I thought I'd lend a hand as well," the blue haired woman answered uneasily before she slipped out of the galley after her partner.

"There's something off about that one," Sabo stated before he turned and followed after them.

Nami stared after them for a moment then she remembered the blue-haired girl's comment about checking the Log Pose and glanced at her wrist.

"GRAAAAHHH!" Nami let out a started shriek and barreled out of the galley. "TURN THE SHIP AROUND! We need to turn a full one hundred eighty degrees!"

"Why? Are we going back?" Usopp inquired.

"Did we forget something?" Luffy questioned.

"No, the ship turned _itself_ around!"

"Heh, looks like our Navigator got us lost," Zoro chuckled.

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" Nami yelled at him, "I DON'T NEED TO HEAR THAT FROM YOU OF ALL PEOPLE! WHY DON'T YOU MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL!?"

"Geez… and you guys called _me_ bossy," Zoro grumbled. "OI! LOOK ALIVE, YOU BUMS! Cook, get in the galley and man the whipstaff! You're our Helmsman for the rest of this voyage! Usopp, Rifle-freak, get up there and adjust the yard!" Sabo, Usopp and Sanji scattered while Zoro turned to Luffy. "Captain, what're those two weirdos doing here?" He jabbed his finger over his shoulder at the agents.

"We're bringing them back to their hometown Whiskey Peak," Luffy answered.

"We're giving them a ride?" Zoro questioned. "You know we don't owe them anything, right?"

"Yeah, I know," Luffy replied easily.

"Okay then," Zoro resolved. "Whisky, huh? Hopefully they have some 'cause I'm gonna need a drink when this is over. Now get on that seat of yours and keep a lookout."

"Right!" Luffy agreed as he scrambled up to the front deck and climbed up onto the figurehead.

"I can't believe this…" Nami gasped as she stared at her Log Pose, "The waves were calm… I only took my eyes off the Log Pose for a second…"

"Looks like you've been played by the waves," Miss Wednesday commented from behind Nami where she was leaning against the wall outside the galley. "I warned you to keep an eye on the Log Pose. Are you sure you're a Navigator? You can't trust anything in this ocean. The winds, the skies, the waves, they can all change in a second's notice. The only thing you can trust out here to tell your direction is the needle of your Log Pose. Do you get it yet?"

Nami flushed as she glared at the blue haired woman then grabbed her and unceremoniously threw the younger girl over the railing onto her partner. "STOP ACTING ALL HIGH AND MIGHTY AND START HELPING OUT!"

"What a violent woman…" Mr. 9 complained as he helped his partner to her feet.

"Nami!" Zoro called out, "The ship's turned. Now what?"

"Ooo! It feels like the winds are changing!" Usopp observed.

"Aaah," Mr. 9 sighed, "The fresh breeze of Spring."

"WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THIS WEATHER!?" Nami screamed.

"HEY! I SEE A DOLPHIN!" Luffy called out from the front of the boat, "Should we follow it!"

"NOO!" Nami yelled, "STAY ON COURSE! STRAIGHT AHEAD!"

"Nami! The winds are picking up again!" Sabo warned her from up on the rigging, "And there's an iceberg coming up on the port side!" He aimed Bonnie off the left side of the ship and fired.

 **KER-CHOW!**

"I blasted the top off of the iceberg," Sabo reported, "But there's still probably more underwater."

"STRAIGHT HEAD!" Nami yelled again.

 **CRUNCH!**

"He was right!" Miss Wednesday called out as she looked off the side of the ship. "We scraped the iceberg. Your ship is probably taking on water."

"Shit, that's another thing to fix," Zoro cursed, "Oi, crown guy, grab the fix-it supplies from the storage room then go below deck and fix the damage."

"The clouds are moving way too fast!" Usopp observed from a rope ladder.

"Hey everybody, I made some food!" Sanji called out as he stepped out of the galley. "Eat up and keep up your strength."

They only had a moment to eat before more problems arose.

"The winds are getting even stronger!" Usopp cried out as he clung to his rope ladder for dear life while the rest of his body flapped in the rushing wind like a flag.

"TOO STRONG!" Sabo added, "THE SAILS ARE TEARING!"

"THEN HURRY UP AND RAISE THEM!" Zoro barked up at them.

Mr. 9 stuck his head back up through the hole leading below deck, "We've got another leak down here! I could use some help!"

"Blue girl, go help crown guy!" Zoro ordered. "Don't you dare sink us!"

"You could at least learn our names…" Miss Wednesday grumbled.

"Oh, I know _exactly_ who you are," Zoro retorted. The blue haired woman froze then climbed down below deck along with her partner. "NAMI! WHAT'S THE COMPASS-THING SAY?"

"IT CHANGED AGAIN!" the Navigator yelped, "AND ITS CALLED A LOG POSE!"

"Whatever!" Zoro snapped. "HURRY UP AND ADJUST OUR COURSE, YOU BUMS!"

"I think I'd prefer if that jerk was still asleep," Sabo grumbled as he climbed along the rigging to the yard with Bonnie Anne strapped on his back.

 **Click!**

"You don't think so?" Sabo questioned as he looked back at the rifle and tilted his head thoughtfully. "Hmm… you might have a point. Maybe he _is_ being useful by bossing everybody around… If he was sleeping he'd just be a useless tripping hazard."

"QUIT DAWDLING, RIFLE-FREAK!" Zoro shouted.

"I'M GOING, I'M GOING!" Sabo yelled back as he dropped from the sail and grabbed the yard. He looked back at Bonnie Anne, "He's still a pain in the ass though."

 **KER-CHOW!**

"HEADS UP!" Luffy called out from the front of the ship, "HERE COMES ANOTHER STORM! AND LOOK AT THOSE WAVES! THEY'RE HUUUGE!"

And so the Straw Hats and the two 'secret agents' continued to battle the crazy weather of the Grand Line. Luffy kept a lookout on the figurehead, Sabo and Usopp were kept busy adjusting the sails, Sanji manned the whipstaff and the galley, Nami had her eyes practically glued to the Log Pose now, Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday were tasked with fixing anything that broke and the Bossy Boatswain continued to yell orders at everyone until he was hoarse.

* * *

Hours later, the Straw Hats and their two guests had waged what felt like a war against the weather in the Grand Line. But now the sea and sky was finally calm as the sun began to sink overhead. The deck had fallen quiet.

"Well that was fun," Sabo remarked as he stood in the galley and he took a sip from a steaming tea cup. He stepped around Sanji who was slumped against the whipstaff and left the galley. Sabo spotted Nami collapsed on the railing outside the galley and gave her a pat on the back. "Nice job, Nami."

Sabo made his way across the main deck which looked more like a battlefield. Usopp was hanging limply from his rope ladder, Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday were passed out in the middle of the deck and a finally silent Zoro was propped against the main mast. Sabo leaned towards Zoro as he passed him.

"Zzzzzzz…" the Boatswain let out a low snore.

"Sleeping again," Sabo noted, "It's like the guy has two modes: one, loud and annoying, two, useless and sleeping."

"Aw, let him sleep," Luffy replied from where he was sitting on the rear railing of the front deck. "Everybody worked really hard."

The only ones that didn't appear to be utterly exhausted from the war against the weather were the two brothers from Dawn Island.

Sabo pulled a bottle with an apple on the label out from his coat and tossed it up to his brother. Luffy grinned and twisted off the cap and began to drink it down.

"So, did the first leg of the Grand Line live up to everything Ace and everyone else told us about it?" Sabo asked his brother. "It was certainly crazy. I can see why a hack like Don Krieg didn't survive it."

"Yeah, that was a blast!" Luffy exclaimed. "I wouldn't mind going a second time. Maybe it'll snow again."

Sabo didn't notice the furious figure behind him until it was too late.

" **TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY!"**

 **BONK!**

"Ow…" Sabo yelped as his top hat hit the floor and he nursed the lump on his head.

 **KER-CHOW!**

Nami jumped back when Bonnie Anne fired but then reached out and grabbed the barrel of the rifle.

"I just spent the last few hours doubting all my navigation skills…" Nami growled as she tightened her grip on the rifle and held it in place. "I'm in no mood… FOR YOUR CRAP!" Nami lashed out her leg and gave Bonnie a good kick which sent the rifle and her boyfriend crashing through the door into the anchor room.

 **THWAK! KRASH!**

Nami stalked up the stairs and snatched the juice bottle away from Luffy then took a long swig and grimaced at the fact that there was no alcohol in it. She turned and shouted out to the weary crew.

"LISTEN UP EVERYBODY! DON'T LET YOUR GUARD DOWN! I FINALLY UNDERSTAND THIS SEA… AND WE REALLY DON'T HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT'S COMING NEXT! ALL MY TRICKS FOR NAVIGATING THE EAST BLUE ARE USELESS HERE!"

"Uhh… that doesn't exactly inspire confidence…" Usopp muttered.

"But we'll be fine," Nami insisted, "After all that things _have to_ work out eventually… and look, there's some proof of that…" Nami turned and pointed off the front of the ship.

Luffy turned and his face lit up, "WHOA! IT'S AN ISLAND! WE'RE HERE!"

"The first stage of our journey is finally over!" Nami announced.

Zoro, Usopp and Sanji all recovered and assembled on the deck. Sabo trudged out of the anchor room and cast Nami an annoyed glance. But the rifle slung over his shoulder seemed to be even more annoyed.

 **CLICK!**

"Love you too, riflegeist," Nami retorted.

The Straw Hats all looked off the front of the Going Merry as they surveyed the island that was covered with what looked like massive cacti.

"LOOK AT ALL THOSE CACTI!" Luffy exclaimed.

"So this is Whiskey Peak…" Sanji remarked.

"They'd better have booze there," Zoro grumbled.

"Thank God we survived…" Usopp whimpered.

"Chin up, Usopp," Sabo encouraged the sniper. "The hard part's behind us."

" **That means this is where we part ways…"**

The Straw Hats turned to see Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday climb up onto the railing.

"Thanks for bringing us home," Mr. 9 said.

"Who knows, maybe we'll meet again," Miss Wednesday suggested.

"BYE-BYE, BABY!" both agents called out as they prepared to flip off the side of the ship.

" **Later… Baroque Works."**

"GAH!" the agents let out a yelp of shock at Zoro's comment and ended up tripping which caused their 'graceful exit' to become a sharp belly-flop into the sea.

 **SPLASH! SPLASH!**

"What's Baroque Works?" Sabo inquired as he watched the two 'Baroque Works' agents swim off even faster than when he'd fired after them.

"A bunch of two-bit crooks that I crossed paths with during my Pirate Hunting days," Zoro replied.

"Should we be worried?" Sanji asked.

Luffy cut off any reply Zoro might've made as he jumped onto the figurehead and shouted to the others, "WHO CARES!? WE'RE HERE! LET'S LAND!"

* * *

Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday panted as they stood in front of a large figure at the edge of a foggy town.

" **So you've returned,"** the large man greeted the two 'secret agents'. **"Baroque Works procedure states that you're supposed to write your mission report before anything else."**

"And normally… we would," Miss Wednesday replied, "But we came back here first in order to warn you about the six pirates that we hitched a ride with. Three of them are a major cause of concern."

"The first is their buffoon Captain," Mr. 9 continued, "He may look like a country bumpkin with that straw hat… but Miss. Wednesday learned that he has Devil Fruit Powers."

"The second is their rifle-wielding Quartermaster," Miss Wednesday stated crisply, "They call him 'the Dandy Man'. He single-handedly prevented up from completing our mission. And might I add, is the most infuriating pirate that I have ever had the displeasure of meeting."

"And the third is their bossy Bosun," Mr. 9 concluded, "He's a swordsman… and he knows about our organization. He's probably told the others by now. Can we trust you to handle the situation... **Mr. 8**?"

"You made the right decision in bringing this to my attention," Mr. 8 replied. "Leave everything to me. Before the night is out… we'll have six more tombstones to adorn the Cactus Rocks."

An ominous air hung over the mysterious town of Whiskey Peak. The large 'cacti' that gave Cactus Island its name were merely large round boulders. The hundreds of 'needles' that adorned the sides were actually tombstones that marked the graves of numerous pirates that had met their demise in this very village.

* * *

So Sabo building a snowman on top of Zoro resulted in the swordsman being awake for the trip to Whisky Peak. Under the Bossy Boatswain's instructions, the chaos on the deck of the Going Merry that occurred in canon while the Straw Hats ran around like chickens with their heads cut off _didn't happen_. Zoro gave everyone designated tasks which resulted in everything being a lot more organized. Yes, I realize this caused me to cut out the funny scene where Zoro finally wakes up and comments on the passed out and exhausted crew 'slacking off'. But I'd like to think I've included enough comedy in my version of the story to make up for it.

And yes, this time it was Zoro who jumped the gun by name dropping Baroque Works. But in my version Luffy doesn't have his thirty million berri bounty so I don't think the Whiskey Peak bounty hunters would have put as much efforts into knocking out the Straw Hats... unless someone tipped them off about how potentially dangerous the Straw Hats could end up being.

Silver signing off


	26. Whiskey Peak

_**BROTHER ON BOARD**_

BedofRoses1989 - The calm chapters always lead up to action packed ones. You'll see more of the Nami vs Bonnie dynamic at play in this chapter.

Psychochiken - You're going to have to wait to see what Luffy does. That's next chapter. But I've always thought that Zoro going up against the 100 bounty hunters in Whiskey Peak was one of his most badass moments. I didn't want to take it away from him.

Guest - Thanks. Here's more.

The Patient One - I consciously made sure to write Miss in this chapter. I also went back and fixed the 'Miss.' from the last two chapters. Thanks for pointing that out.

Lightsbane1905 - Only one problem with Sugar's Hobby Hobby Fruit being responsible for Bonnie's spirit being trapped in the rifle... rifles aren't toys. Plus, it would take a really, really, really long time for that to come to fruition. I want to do more with Bonnie before i get to that point.

Bluejay Blaze - Don't think too hard about a potential artist. They're closer than you think.

rasEnshur1KEn - Nami has shown time and time again that she is the single most terrifying character in One Piece. I'm really am willing to bet that even Roger would be intimidated by her while she's on an angry rampage. We'll just have to see what happens during Little Garden.

Fairy of the Friz - Hey, I've been avoiding using Gun Puns in this story so far. But you're lucky. If you had reviewed an hour earlier I would have sent you a silly pirate joke to celebrate International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Lunapok - Sabo will have some focus in this chapter but it's still going to be Zoro-centric. Zoro may have proven to be a great Bossy Boatswain... but now he'll have a chance to do what he truly does best while he takes on Baroque Works.

Miqila - I don't know if 'Bossy Bosun' is going to be Zoro's official nickname but it certainly is catching on. I guess I/Sabo made the right call with Zoro's new position. But Zoro will always be the Pirate Hunter and this chapter shows why.

* * *

 **Whiskey Peak-**

The Going Merry sailed inland along a waterway. Cactus Island was shrouded in a thick blanket of fog that obscured almost everything.

"Do we really have to land here?" Usopp asked nervously, "This place gives me the creeps. I think I'm getting a bout of the dreaded Better-Not-Go-On-This-Island disease."

Sabo took a big step away from the Master Gunner. "That had better not be contagious. I'm not letting your disease keep me from going on an adventure."

"Yeah Usopp, keep your germs to yourself!" Luffy chimed in, "This is the first island in the Grand Line! We've gotta explore it!"

Zoro, Nami, Sanji and even Usopp stared dumb-founded at the two brothers.

"You two do realize that he's just being a chicken, right?" Sanji asked.

"I'm not taking any chances," Sabo insisted.

 **KER-CHOW!**

Bonnie went off which caused her to recoil and smacked Sabo upside the head.

 **WHAK!**

"Ow…" Sabo grumbled. "Maybe I should load you with some of those rubber bullets…"

"Listen guys… and evil rifle-dwelling spirit," Nami addressed everyone, "We have to land on this island. The Log Pose needs time to reset so it can log the magnetic field for the next island. I'm not sure how long that's going to take. It could be hours… it could be days. But we're stuck here until it's done."

"So… if there are monsters… we won't be able to run away?" Usopp whimpered.

"Don't worry about monsters," Luffy reassured him, "We'll worry about that stuff when it happens."

"Don't worry, Nami-swan, I'll protect you!" Sanji vowed.

"Yeah, sure, thanks, whatever," Nami said as she waved him off. Her eyes were still on the Log Pose.

"Hey guys, quiet down," Zoro instructed. "I thought I heard something but I can barely make it out over you guys… I think there are people out there in the fog…"

"People? Really?" Luffy questioned, "This fog's too thick to see any…"

"Actually… I think it's finally starting to thin," Nami pointed out.

The fog did thin… and revealed a crowd of nearly a hundred smiling villagers.

" **WELCOME!"**

"WELCOME PIRATES!"

"WELCOME TO THE GRAND LINE!"

"WELCOME TO OUR TOWN!"

"WELCOME TO WHISKEY PEAK!"

"WELCOME PIRATES… HEROES OF THE SEAS!"

The Straw Hats all marveled at the crowd. It appeared as though the entire village had turned up to welcome them to Whiskey Peak.

"Well… this is an interesting change of pace," Sabo remarked, "They certainly seem… welcoming."

" **Of course…"** replied a large man carrying a saxophone. He was dressed in a fancy suit with his white hair in rollers that resembled a British Parliament Wig. He cleared his throat and sang a few notes, " _MAH-MAH-MAAA_! This is Whiskey Peak… the Town of Welcome! I'm the Mayor Igarappoi and please allow me to welcome you brave travelers to our lovely town."

"Shishishishi…" Luffy laughed as he eyed the Mayor's curly hair, "That guy's hair is funny.

"Okay… I was _not_ expecting this…" Sanji admitted.

"Whiskey Peak is a town of liquor and music," Mayor Igarappoi explained, "We pride ourselves on our hospitality above all else. You brave souls have done what many before you have failed to accomplish… you made it to the Grand Line. Please, allow us to throw a banquet in your honor."

"Wow… a banquet? REALLY!?" Luffy exclaimed.

"Do you _see_ some of those beautiful women in the crowd?" Sanji gasped. "This is great!"

"Hmm… usually we have the party _after_ we save the island…" Sabo mused.

"Well _I'm_ not complaining," Usopp told him, "I'd prefer a crowd of welcoming well-wishers calling us 'brave travelers' over an island full of monsters _any day_!"

"You'd be surprised…" Zoro whispered to himself as he eyed the crowd cautiously.

"So I take it you're interested?" Igarappoi inquired.

"YOU BET!" Luffy, Sabo, Usopp and Sanji all cheered and raced off the Going Merry.

Zoro hung back while Nami rolled her eyes, "idiots…" She turned to the Mayor, "Actually… I wanted to ask you something about the Log Pose…

"Log?" Igarappoi repeated. "You can worry about trivial things like that in the morning. It's getting late, why don't you celebrate with us tonight? Everyone! Prepare a banquet for our guests!"

"RIGHT! LET'S PARTY!"

* * *

And so as the sun set and night fell, lively music sounded throughout Whiskey Peak as the villagers kicked off their Welcome Banquet for the Straw Hat Pirates. The festivities were being held in a large tavern where the Straw Hats were the center of attention. A large band had gathered in one corner and was playing music for their guests. Mayor Iggarappoi had even joined in for a time and played his saxophone along with the band. The bar was fully stocked with countless barrels and bottles of liquor while dozens of steaming plates began to make their way out of the kitchen.

"WOOOW! YOU MEAN I CAN EAT ALL THIS?" Luffy exclaimed as he stared at a heaping tray of meat.

"Of course," the smiling cook replied, "Eat as much as you like…" He would regret those words.

Usopp was nearby standing on a table loudly telling somewhat exaggerated tales of their adventure getting to the Grand Line. "So there we were in the Calm Belt… surrounded by all sorts of enormous monsters… I even fell overboard and looked death in the face… BUT I ESCAPED AT THE LAST SECOND BECAUSE I'M CAPTAIN UUUSOOOOPP!"

"Yeeaah!" the crowd around him cheered. "CAPTAIN USOPP'S SO BRAVE!"

"Oh Sanji, you're so charming!" a woman swooned.

"Ladies, ladies, enough about me," Sanji told the two women on his arms as they sat down at a booth in the corner. "Why don't you tell me about yourselves? You've been living here in the Grand Line and have no doubt encountered many travelers. I want to know about _you_."

"Here, try this…" Igarappoi instructed Nami as he offered the Navigator a mug of grog. "It's our special blend made from our bountiful grape harvest this year."

"I really shouldn't," Nami tried to wave him off, "I've got a ship to sail in the morning…"

"But we're celebrating the excellent grape harvest with our annual drinking contest," the Mayor informed her. "And there's a grand prize of fifty thousand berri!"

 **KA-CHING!**

"Alright, you're on!" Nami exclaimed as she snatched the mug and drank it down.

"Eh-hem," Igarappoi cleared his throat then loudly sang out, " _MAH-MAH-MAAA!_ THEN LET THE DRINKING CONTEST… BEGIN!"

"YEAH!" the large crowd of villagers gathered around the couches cheered as they raised their mugs and drank along with Nami.

Nearby, Zoro and Sabo were seated together at the bar.

Zoro eyed the blonde next to him. He glanced at the tea cup in the Quartermaster's hand which for some reason had the pinky extended. "Since when do you drink tea?"

"I drink tea all the time," Sabo insisted, "You just haven't noticed."

"Hmmm…" Zoro grunted as he scanned his memories… somehow his alcohol fueled mind allowed him to focus on details that he hadn't noticed before.

Shells Town… he had been caught up in stuffing his face and guzzling booze after being starved for so long. Luffy had matched him plate for plate. Sabo had eaten a modest two plates' worth of food… and had been drinking from a tea cup.

After they beat Buggy... Luffy had stuffed himself, Zoro had a drinking contest, Nami drank on her own, Sabo held court and told stories from the battle… while slowly nursing a cup of tea.

When they met Usopp… he'd taken them to a restaurant. They had talked about Sabo's gun and Zoro's swords. Zoro drank from a bottle… Sabo had a tea cup.

Then there were the days they'd worked on the Baratie. They took their meals in the staff kitchen with the rest of the cooks. Luffy complained every meal about not getting seconds… or thirds. Usopp never complained because he was terrified of the Head Chef. Zoro had been content with his booze while Sabo had sampled the house blend tea with ice in it.

After Arlong Park… Zoro drank, Luffy ate, Sanji flirted, Usopp told stories and Sabo… screwed Nami's sister… that seemed to overshadow anything else the Quartermaster might have done or drank over the course of that party.

"Huh… so you have," Zoro noted. "I guess your drink preferences never mattered to me."

"Says the guy who drinks booze with breakfast, lunch and dinner," Sabo retorted. "I drink booze when we're celebrating. But I try to set an example for Luffy by drinking something a little classier. You know how impulsive he is when he's sober… trust me, you don't want to see him drunk."

"Hey! Don't hold out on us!" Nami complained as she climbed onto the bar stool on Sabo's other side. The Navigator had a slight flush in her cheeks from her still ongoing drinking contest. "If you've got a potentially embarrassing story about our Captain… then you're obligated to share it!"

"It's not so much embarrassing for _him_ as it was for _us_ ," Sabo replied.

"SPILL IT!" Nami urged him while Zoro raised an eyebrow expectantly.

"Okay, fine," Sabo conceded, "I suppose it can serve as a cautionary tale. It all started when Ace and I thought it would be funny if we got Luffy drunk. We figured he'd get wasted, trip over himself and make stupid decisions. We had our matching tattoos as keepsakes from the first time we got drunk. We thought Luffy would do something similar. Well… talk about your all-time backfires. First of all, he's a lightweight. Do not let him have more than one cup of booze… ever! Because when Luffy gets drunk… his low inhibitions get even lower and his hands start to wander. Keep in mind that the arms those hands are attached to can stretch… and you've got an inebriated groper that you can't escape from. This led to an extremely awkward night in our treehouse that Ace and I still don't like to talk about."

Both Zoro and Nami's eyes widened.

"Since that night, Ace and I swore to never let him get drunk again," Sabo stated, "We encouraged his abstinence from alcohol by staying away from it ourselves. Luckily, Luffy likes eating way more than he cares about drinking so he barely noticed. But you have now been warned. Do not let him get drunk. Luffy doesn't care who or what he grabs. He just does. And there's no escaping him short of jumping out a window… but even then… he'll catch you and drag you back in… and…"

Sabo trailed off and shivered. Zoro and Nami looked across the room at Luffy who was standing over a cook who had passed out from exhaustion.

"MORE FOOD!" the rubber pirate shouted.

"What… but the cook's unconscious!" a nearby man protested.

"And I'm _still_ hungry!" Luffy insisted, "Find another one!"

"Right, so no getting Luffy drunk," Sabo resolved.

"I'll drink to that," Zoro agreed. He raised his mug and Sabo knocked his tea cup against it. Then they both looked over at Nami.

"Weeell…" she said teasingly. They both glared at her. "Okay, okay, spoilsports, no getting Luffy drunk." Nami brought her mug up and knocked it against Sabo's tea cup and Zoro's mug then they all took a drink sealing the agreement.

"By the way… this tea tastes a little strange," Sabo remarked, "What kind is it?"

"That's our signature brand of Misty Peak blend tea," Mayor Igarappoi informed him. "We grow the leaves here and make it especially for our guests."

"Hmm… it's not bad," Sabo admitted. "Just different than the blends I'm used to."

"Well by all means, enjoy," the Mayor urged him.

The party continued and the booze and food continued to flow as the villagers flocked around the Straw Hat Pirates. Sanji now had six women sitting with him in his booth in the corner. Usopp had stacked another chair on top of his table as he continued to share his stories. The second cook that was serving Luffy looked like he'd just run a marathon. Nami had a cluster of 'victims' around her that she had bested in the drinking contest. Zoro had a collection of eight empty mugs in front of him.

Sabo was on his third cup of tea when a nun sat down on the stool next to him. "You seem to be slowing down," she noted, "Care to have a drink with me?"

Sabo blinked in surprise. "A nun that drinks?"

"You've clearly still got a lot to learn about the Grand Line," the nun remarked. "Nothing is as it seems. The people here in Whiskey Peak they call me 'the Sister' and I'm the best drinker in town."

"Wow…" Sabo replied. "Well… I don't really drink. And uh… just in case you don't follow other traditional 'nun' practices… I should probably state for the record that I'm spoken for." He looked back over his left shoulder and smiled fondly at the rifle strapped to his back.

"Oh, good grief," Zoro groaned from next to him. "Here he goes again…"

The Sister had followed Sabo's line of sight and had disregarded the rifle on the blonde man's back like any normal rational person would. Instead, her eyes met the green-haired man on Sabo's left side.

"Oh my!" the Sister gasped, "How shameful!"

The immediate area grew quiet. Sabo and Zoro both froze. "What?"

"I didn't realize you were… _those_ kinds of pirates," the Sister confessed.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" a delightfully drunk Nami fell out of her seat laughing. "OH THAT'S PRICELESS! HAHAHAHAHA! NO WONDER YOU GUYS ARGUE ALL THE TIME! IT'S FOREPLAY! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Sabo and Zoro were both now sporting faint blushes.

"You fix this!" Zoro growled, "Fix it now!"

"Whoa, okay, hold on!" Sabo said, "Despite anything that you may have overheard about that time my brother got drunk… I'm not gay. I'll have you know that I'm in a committed _heterosexual_ relationship… with my rifle." Sabo took Bonnie off his back and hugged her to his chest.

"Riiiight…" the highly skeptical nearby people chorused.

"I don't know Sabo," Nami called out as she climbed back onto the couch. "You and your girlfriend _did_ sleep with my sister… I can't imagine that Bonnie's completely straight after that either. Now it looks like you're going after Zoro to try the other kind of three-way! You two really are perfect for each other!"

Sabo flushed while Bonnie Anne went off and fired an orange bullet across the room.

 **KER-CHOW! BOING!**

The rubber round bounced off of the far wall then came flying back and slammed into Nami and knocked the girl off her seat again.

 **THUD!**

"YOU BITCH!" Nami yelled from the ground. "I'M STILL DRINKING! THAT DOESN'T COUNT!"

Zoro grabbed Sabo's shoulder and glared at him, " _You're_ not gay?"

"Well… I can only speak for myself," Sabo stated, "I don't know which way your swords swing…"

"What _that_ supposed to mean?" Zoro challenged him.

"Earlier today, you screamed in the face of the only girl that took an interest in your sword hoarding," Sabo reminded him. "She even learned all their names. And then there's the fact that you keep putting one of them in your mouth. What's that supposed to be an oral fixation?"

"You're in no position to judge other people's relationships, you rifle-rubbing freak!" Zoro snapped.

"Hey, easy!" Sabo objected, "I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that. I still see you as the same booze guzzling, sword stroking mossball."

"I don't think I like drinking with you anymore," Zoro stated.

"Same here," Sabo retorted. "So I'm going to leave and take my _girlfriend_ and spend a quiet night out under the stars. You can stay here and do whatever it is that you do."

Sabo promptly got up and walked out of the tavern. Zoro glared after him then went back to his drink.

"They're a rather rowdy bunch of pirates, aren't they?" Mayor Igarappoi remarked to the Sister from the corner they'd both retreated to when Bonnie had fired the rubber round at Nami.

"That one escaped," the Sister pointed out, "Do you want me to go after him?"

"No, he won't get far… I upped to dose in his tea to the point that he could taste it," the Mayor stated, "Contact Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday. He's the one responsible for them failing their mission. I'm sure they'd enjoy the opportunity to take him out."

Oblivious to the cryptic conversation in the corner, Luffy pulled a meatless bone out of his mouth and turned to his Master Gunner who was standing on top of the table next to him. "Hey Usopp, what does 'gay' mean?"

"Oh no, I'm not touching that one," Usopp insisted, "Sanji, you're the Love Cook, you explain it to him."

"I thought Sabo had to field the awkward questions," Sanji grumbled as he sat up in between the multiple women that were sitting on both sides of him in the booth in the corner. "Luffy, that's what Sabo would be if Bonnie was a boy rifle instead of a girl rifle. Sexual preference is a matter of the type of person that you're attracted to. I personally love the ladies. They're much prettier, are more sensitive and are softer to the touch."

Luffy blinked then looked over at Nami. The only 'lady' around his age that he knew was knocking back another mug of grog as she drank five full grown men under the table. "Nami's loud and hits hard…"

"All women are different Luffy," Sanji told him, "Nami-swan might not be demure and quiet like a lot of women but that's because of her upbringing, her profession as a pirate and that she's highly passionate. Romance is about finding the type of person that you like best and who is the best fit for you."

"Oh Sanji!" cooed one of Sanji's admirers, "You should have said you wanted a passionate woman!"

"Hahahaha!" the cook let out a blissful laugh, "This place is paradise!"

Luffy shrugged and turned his attention to more important matters… like the meatless bone in his hand. "I FINISHED THIS! MORE MEAT!"

"But we just lost the second cook!" a man protested.

"Then find a third one!" Luffy instructed. "MORE!"

* * *

"Talk about hospitality," Sabo remarked as he made his way down the main street of Whiskey Peak with Bonnie Anne slung over his shoulder. "The streets are completely empty. It looks like everyone in town is at the tavern welcoming the crew." Sabo blinked. "Does that seem suspicious to you?"

 **KER-CHOW!**

"Hmmm…" Sabo blearily mumbled as he blinked his increasingly heavy eyelids. "Well… we've been lucky today so far. The Marines let us go in Loguetown… We escaped the Sea Kings in the Calm Belt… We made it into the Grand Line and everybody got swallowed by Laboon."

 **Click!**

"Oh, no, that's _was_ lucky," Sabo insisted. His speech was starting to slur. "'Cause y'see… we helped Laboon… and… otherwise he'd've died 'cause 'f the head wounds… or the whale hunterers… And… _and_ … wewould've died… 'cause… cuzzz… we wouldn't've known about needin' a Log Pose. All that crazy Grand Line weather 'n' stuff woulda killed us ferrr shurrre…"

Sabo let out a yawn then dropped to his knees and leaned back against a nearby building. He held his bullet-spitting girlfriend in his lap.

"Bonnie… I… um… think our luck might've run out…" he confessed as he yawned again and blearily blinked his eyes. "There was somethin' funny 'bout that tea… Dr. Flower-guy said… bounty hunters… and… and the sword-hoarder said…"

 **FWUMP!**

The Quartermaster dropped to the ground with his rifle cuddled against his chest. "Baroque Works…"

* * *

"Ugh…" Zoro groaned and passed out with his head on the counter and a collection of twelve empty mugs around him.

Luffy flopped on his back. His belly was swelled up like a balloon and there were three unconscious cooks lying on stretchers near the kitchen.

"This place… is heaven… it's a paradise…" Sanji mumbled. He'd fallen into a Love Coma and was lying across the lap of four different ladies in the corner.

"The Grand Line is great!" Usopp exclaimed as he sat down on the towering stack of three chairs that he'd piled on top of his table. "I'm just… gonna rest my eyes…" Truthfully, the sniper was a little scared of climbing down from the rickety structure that he'd created. So he decided to just pass out in his chair and worry about getting down in morning.

Nami was the last one standing. The Drinking Contest had come down to the Straw Hats Navigator and the Sister. Both women were nearing their twentieth mug when the nun dropped to the floor.

"No more… you win…" the Sister moaned as she passed out.

"YEAH! I WIN!" Nami exclaimed. Her face was flushed as she finished off her twentieth mug of grog.

"And here are your winnings," Mayor Igarappoi announced as he handed her the sack of prize money.

"EEE!" Nami squealed in glee as she hugged the money to her chest… then passed out on a couch.

Mayor Igarappoi smirked as he stood in the corner and surveyed the sleeping Straw Hat Crew. The music stopped and the villagers filed out of the tavern leaving the pirates lying scattered around the room.

"They've finally fallen asleep…" the Mayor observed, "Sweet dreams brave adventurers." He turned and followed the other villagers out of the tavern. "The cactus rocks are beautiful when they shine in the moonlight…"

" **Was there really a point to all that, Mr. 8?"** the Mayor turned to see the Sister come out of the tavern. "It seems like a waste to use so many of our resources on a crew that's this small and has no bounties. We're not getting any money out of this… and we didn't get any whale meat… why didn't we just ambush them at the harbor and save ourselves the trouble?"

"Only a fool judges pirates by their initial appearance, Miss Monday," Mr. 8 replied. "The Captain has Devil Fruit Powers. Not only that, but I found an article about those pirates in yesterday's newspaper. This crew was responsible for bringing down all the big names in the East Blue. The fact that there are only six of them speaks wonders for their true strength."

"Hmm… you may have a point," Miss Monday admitted, "The last Devil Fruit User that we faced used his abilities to take out ten of our best bounty hunters before I managed to throw him in the water." The Sister grabbed the collar of her nun outfit and tore it off. Her dark skin, red hair and large hulking muscles were revealed and even enhanced by the tight red and white checkered dress she was wearing.

"There's also the fact that they know about our organization," Mr. 8 added, "Not only that… but they actually know its name. Our organization's motto is 'mystery' and we can't risk allowing any pirates to venture further into the Grand Line while knowing that it exists."

" **Still the same old Baroque Works."**

Mr. 8 and Miss Monday whirled around and saw Zoro sitting on top of the tavern. He had his sword _Wado Ichimonji_ drawn which caused the blade to gleam in the moonlight.

A man in a cowboy hat ran out of the tavern, **"MR. 8! MISS MONDAY! ONE OF THE PIRAETS ESCAPED!"**

"We're aware of that, you fool!" Miss Monday spat at him.

"What're you doing up there!" Mr. 8 barked up at Zoro, "You were passed out just a moment ago."

"I true swordsman never allows his senses to be impaired by alcohol," Zoro retorted, "Especially not when he's in the middle of a den of bounty hunters."

The previously harmless looking villagers began to gather around Mr. 8 and Miss Monday outside the tavern. Only now, they were wielding guns, knives, swords and various other weapons. Everyone in town had been on hand to welcome the pirates… and everyone in town was a bounty hunter.

"So this is how your organization runs, huh?" Zoro noted, "You ambush overconfident rookie pirates when they're arriving in the Grand Line for the first time and then cash in on their bounties."

"How do you know the name of our organization?" Mr. 8 demanded.

"I used to be in the same line of work as you guys," Zoro admitted, "And during that time your organization contacted me and tried to recruit me. Let's see if I remember correctly… you're an organization of criminals that all use codenames to hide your true identities. You don't know anything about each other and you know even less about your mysterious boss that's pulling all the strings." Zoro's mouth spread into a predatory shark-like grin, "Does that sound about right?"

"There are a hundred bounty hunters in this village," Mr. 8 stated, "Mark my words, by the end of this night… you and your crew will merely be six more tombstones on the Cactus Rocks." Mr. 8 raised his saxophone and brought it to his lips then blew a loud note. "IGARAPPA!"

 **BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM!**

Bullets shot out from the rollers in Mr. 8 curled hair… but they passed through empty air. The roof of the tavern was vacant. Zoro had vanished.

"FIND HIM!" Mr. 8 yelled to the other Baroque Works Agents, "HE'S ONLY ONE SWORDSMAN! HUNT HIM DOWN AND BRING HIS BODY TO ME!"

The one hundred bounty hunters split up and fanned out to search the town.

Zoro smirked as he leaned against the wall of a nearby alleyway, "One hundred bounty hunters, huh?" The swordsman glanced down at the two blades sheathed on his sash, "This seems like the perfect opportunity to test out my new swords…"

* * *

"Keep your eyes peeled for any sign of him," Miss Wednesday instructed as she and her partner Mr. 9 rode a large yellow duck the size of a small horse through Whiskey Peak. "That goes for you too, Carue."

 **"QUACK!"** replied Carue the Super Spot-Billed Duck as he used his wing to fire off a quick salute.

"The town's been quiet so far," Mr. 9 mused. "Mr. 8 probably pulled the old Welcome Banquet trick. There's a chance that he might be asleep somewhere…"

 **"QUAA!"** Carue called out and pointed towards a figure that was lying in the road next to a building with a rifle cuddled against his chest.

"Good eye, Carue," Miss Wednesday praised her steed. "There he is!"

"Let's take him out now before he has a chance to wake up," Mr. 9 suggested.

"Right, Mr. 9," Miss Wednesday agreed as she pulled two jewels that looked like peacock feathers out of her sleeves. The jewels had sharp edges and were on a pair of thin chains that ended with rings that she slipped onto one finger on each hand. "PEACOCK… STRING…" Miss Wednesday swung bladed jewels around on their chains and prepared to let them fly. "SLA—"

Fortunately for Sabo, he had someone looking out for him at that moment… which was _unfortunate_ for the two unsuspecting Baroque Works Agents.

 **KER-CHOW!**

 **"QUUUAAA!"** Carue squawked in terror as Bonnie Anne went off on her own and fired an orange round. He jumped back and flapped his wings in fright.

 **BOING!**

The orange bullet bounced off of a building across the alley and struck the startled duck in the side.

 **BAM!**

The Super Spot-Billed Duck was knocked over which caused his two passengers to go flying.

"Carue! Are you okay?" Miss Wednesday called out in concern for her steed.

"What happened?" Mr. 9 wondered as he pushed himself up off the ground, "He should be sleeping…" The Baroque Works Agent pulled out a steel baseball bat and eyed the sleeping pirate and the rifle that he had seemingly fired in his sleep. "I'll handle this myself…" Mr. 9 launched himself through the air with an impressive flip.

 **FWIP!**

The Baroque Works Agent swung his bat up overhead and prepared to put Sabo to sleep _for good_. Bonnie Anne didn't seem to like that idea and fired again.

 **KER-CHOW!**

Bonnie's orange bullet shot off and bounced off of a wall across the alley.

 **BOING!**

Then it came back and knocked the acrobatic agent right out of the air.

 **BAM!**

"MISTER NINE!" Miss Wednesday cried out in alarm as her partner went crashing to the ground. "WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?" She glared at the sleeping pirate, who, in her rational mind, could be the only one responsible for what had happened. "DANDY MAN! QUIT PLAYING POSSUM!"

" **Uuh… okay, okay… I'm up… I'm up…"** Sabo slowly dragged himself up enough that he could prop himself against the building. "What's all the noise about?"

"Wait… you _were_ sleeping?" Miss Wednesday sputtered.

Sabo blearily opened his eyes and smacked his lips as he tried to come to grips with the situation, "Something… tastes funny… OH! The curly-haired jerk drugged the tea." Sabo finally turned his attention to Miss Wednesday, "Which would mean… _you're_ here to kill me."

"I… how… HOW DID YOU FIRE YOUR GUN IN YOUR SLEEP!?" Miss Wednesday demanded.

"She fired while I was sleeping?" Sabo questioned. He turned his head and spotted Mr. 9 lying on the ground clutching his chest. "Oh, WOW! Way to go, Bonnie!" He raised his rifle and kissed the nozzle. "Best girlfriend ever! Thanks for looking out for me."

"Did you say _girlfriend_?" Miss Wednesday repeated. "That's just a rifle."

"Oh no, Bonnie's _not_ just a rifle," Sabo assured her, "She an Advanced Wheel-lock Rifle with an added scope and custom revolving action. But she's also so much more. Like, for example, my girlfriend."

"That's not—" Sabo cut her off.

"What else would you call a dedicated woman that looks out for you and defends you from a pair of cowardly two-bit crooks looking to take a cheap shot and kill you in your sleep?"

Miss Wednesday glared at him.

"What was it that Zoro called you earlier?" Sabo asked out loud as pushed off the wall but remained sitting on the ground as he stared down the two agents. "Baroque Works, right? Well… _Baroque Works_ … I'm wide awake… and now you've got my full attention."

* * *

"First up… _Yubashiri_ …" Zoro announced as he drew his new blade while ducked behind a table to avoid a hail of gunfire from a group of bounty hunters that had cornered him in a house.

The gunfire stopped and Zoro quickly vaulted over the table and slashed _Yubashiri_ at the seven men standing ahead of him.

 **SLIKA-SLICE!**

Zoro landed behind the group of bounty hunters and eyed _Yubashiri_ as the seven men dropped to the grounds with cuts going across their chest.

"Hmm… _Yubashiri_ … nice and light," Zoro remarked as he dashed out of the house and began to climb up a nearby ladder.

"Ha-ha! FOUND HIM!" a bounty hunter exclaimed as he stood on the roof Zoro was climbing up to with three companions. The bounty hunter had a bazooka on his shoulder and opened fire. "EAT THIS!"

 **BOOOM!**

 **FWIP!**

Zoro flipped backwards and laid flat on the ladder as the cannonball whizzed over him and exploded when it impacted with the ground below.

The swordsman shook his head as he righted himself and began to climbed up the ladder once more. Thus far these one hundred Baroque Works bounty hunters hadn't been anything to write home about. But they seemed to make up for their lack of individual skill with their sheer numbers.

There was however… one standout…

"RAAAHH!" Miss Monday roared as she threw at full barrel of grog at Zoro from the next roof over.

"KILL HIM!" one of the four bounty hunters shouted as they all drew swords and advanced on Zoro as he reached the top of the ladder.

Zoro looked back over his shoulder and saw the incoming barrel. He lashed out behind him with _Yubashiri_ and used his blade to slice through Miss Monday's wooden projectile.

 **SLISH-SLISH-SLISH!**

While a heavier blade would have been able to effectively cleave the barrel in half… _Yubashiri's_ light weight made so that Zoro was able to slash the blade three times instead of just once. The barrel split into four quarters instead of two halves and sprayed grog everywhere as the pieces flew over Zoro and knocked out the four sword-wielding bounty hunters.

 **WHAK-WAK-WAK-WAK!**

"Grrr… why you!" Miss Monday growled as she glared at Zoro from the next roof over as he finished climbing the ladder and admired his sword.

"Not bad, _Yubashiri_ ," Zoro remarked, "You're a fine blade indeed."

"RAAAH!" a new bounty hunter charged at Zoro from behind with a stone mallet raised overhead.

Zoro quickly drew _Kitetsu III_ and swung the blade to block the mallet.

 **SLISH!**

But instead of merely blocking the stone mallet… the cursed blade hadcleaved straight through it.

Zoro spun and used _Yubashiri_ to cut down the bounty hunter while he admired _Kitetsu III_.

 **SLASH!**

"Hmm… this one was sharp enough to cut through stone," Zoro noted, "But a great sword should only cut when its wielder wishes it to." Zoro gave the cursed blade a stern look, "I can tell now that you're going to be a problem child."

Thankfully, Sabo wasn't around to hear Zoro praising and lecturing his new swords.

* * *

"Whoa! What is that thing!?" Sabo exclaimed as he stared passed Miss Wednesday at Carue.

"That _thing_ ," Miss Wednesday growled, "Is a Super Spot-Billed Duck named Carue."

"Do ducks grow that big?" Sabo questioned, "Are you sure he's not some kind of ostrich?"

"Yes, I'm sure!" Miss Wednesday snapped.

"And what makes it a Super Spot-Billed Duck versus just a regular duck?" Sabo inquired.

" _His_ large size, high speed and the spot on his bill," Miss Wednesday answered crisply. "And unlike your so-called girlfriend… _he_ is a living, breathing creature. He's also one of the fastest animals in the world."

"Really?" Sabo replied, "Because he looks a little slow…"

Miss Wednesday bristled at Sabo's cold comments about her pet. "COME ON, CARUE! We need to teach this pirate a lesson! Show him your speed that puts a cheetah's to shame!"

 **"QUAAA!"** Carue crowed. Miss Wednesday hopped up onto his back and charged at Sabo who didn't move from here he was sitting on the ground. He simply raised his gun and fired.

 **KER-CHOW!**

 **"QUUAAAAACK!"** Carue shrieked in alarm and practically flew up off of the ground as Sabo's bullet shot between his legs.

 **THUD!**

Miss Wednesday was once again thrown off her duck while Carue ran off like his tail was on fire.

 **ZZZZOOOM!**

"Wow… I guess he _is_ fast," Sabo remarked, "But are you sure he's a duck and not a chicken?"

"WHY YOU!" Miss Wednesday yelled. "HE IS A DUCK! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL!"

"Okay… he's a duck, "Sabo admitted, "But he's very incompetent one. I guess good help is hard to find." Sabo grinned and kissed the side of Bonnie's barrel, "That's why I'm glad I've got you, babe."

"Miss Wednesday, you need to calm down!" Mr. 9 called out in a warning, "He's trying to distract you." Mr. 9 stood up and pointed his baseball bat at Sabo, "Why don't you stand up and fight like a man?"

"…" Sabo glanced down at his legs, "Uh… I'm good. But I would hardly call _you_ a man, pansy-who-pretends-to-be-a-King."

Mr. 9 smirked, "As I thought, he's stalling for time. You're not standing… because you _can't_ stand. Whatever Mr. 8 used to knock you out must still be in your system!"

"I guess the cat's out of the bag," Sabo confessed. "But if you want to brag about your keen detective skills for another couple of minutes… feel free."

"I think I'll just kill you now!" Mr. 9 retorted as he launched himself towards Sabo with a series of flip. "HOT BLOODED BAT OF GUTS!"

Sabo raised his rifle up over his head to block the incoming strike from Mr. 9's bat.

 **WHAK!**

"NOW I'VE GOT YOU!" Mr. 9 exclaimed as he swung _a second bat_ at Sabo's face.

 **Fwump!** **WHISH!**

Sabo fell on his back and Mr. 9 was thrown off balance when his swing whizzed right over his target. Sabo popped back up and jammed the handle of his rifle into Mr. 9's unprotected stomach. The crowned man doubled over and Sabo quickly followed up by swinging his rifle up into Mr. 9's face.

 **WHAM!**

Mr. 9 was launched up into the air and his body did a backflip before he crashed down to the ground behind Miss Wednesday.

"You didn't shoot him," Miss Wednesday noted. She had finally calmed down enough to think rationally. "That must mean you're out of bullets."

"Actually I've still got one left," Sabo replied, "But there's two of you… so you're gonna have to share."

"Mr. 9 made the mistake of charging in and challenging you directly," Miss Wednesday commented, "Even if you can't stand… you're still stronger than the two of us. That's why I'm not coming any closer. I'm done letting you get in my head… now it's time for _me_ to get in _yours_."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sabo wondered.

Miss Wednesday pulled out a small bottle and sprayed herself with it then slowly began to sway her hips back and forth. "PERFUME DANCE!"

"What are you doing?" Sabo asked but then he was suddenly assaulted by a strong flowery scent. "GAH!" Bonnie dropped onto his lap as he clamped his hands over his nose. But he suddenly became much more aware of Miss Wednesday's long blue hair as it swung back and forth with each movement. "Blue's my favorite color…" Sabo attempted to avert his gaze but he suddenly found himself looking down at the Baroque Work's Agent's generous chest and noticed the spiral pattern on each of her breasts as well as her thin stomach.

"That's it…" Miss Wednesday whispered as she noticed her entrancing attack beginning to have a measure of success. She continued to sway her hips back and forth which caused the spirals one her top to swing back and forth and heightened the hypnotic effect.

"No… don't look at… her chest…" Sabo growled as he gritted his teeth and forced his gaze lower. But now he was looking at her swaying hips… and her incredibly short white shorts which bared most of her long toned legs. "I… uh… were those shorts always that tight?"

Sabo's hands dropped limply to his sides and he was left staring straight ahead in a trance.

"Got him," Miss Wednesday boasted.

* * *

"HE'S CLIMBING AGAIN!"

Zoro raced up another ladder with at least a dozen bounty hunters chasing after him. But as soon as he reached the roof he lashed out and kicked the ladder away.

 **THWAK!**

"WAAH!" the bounty hunters screamed as the ladder they were climbing swung across the main road.

 **SKISH!**

Zoro leapt off of roof and landed on the top of the swinging ladder then launched himself off of it.

 **SKISH!**

Zoro flew high overhead while the ladder split in half and went crashing down… bringing the dozen bounty hunters with it.

 **KRASH!**

Zoro looked ahead of him and saw a new cluster of bounty hunters on the roof he was about to land on. He quickly raised _Yubashiri_ and _Kitetsu III_ and crossed them over his chest as he prepared to land. "Nitoryu… TAKANAMI!"

 **SLA-SLISH!**

Ten bounty hunters screamed and flying which suddenly left the roof clear.

Zoro smirked as he embedded the tip of _Kitetsu III_ in the roof and cut a circle around him.

"YAAHAA!" a bounty hunter shouted as he and four others came leaping up onto the roof.

Zoro casually stepped out of the way which allowed the bounty hunters land in the spot he'd just been standing in.

 **KRASH!**

The roof gave way and the bounty hunters went crashing down into the house below.

"There's a hole there," Zoro pointed out post humorously, "You'd better watch out."

A large shadow suddenly fell over Zoro.

 **SWISH!**

The swordsman dropped to the ground just in time to avoid Miss Monday as she swung half of the broken ladder and smashed it against another part of the roof.

 **KROOSH!**

"That was close…" Zoro muttered as he rolled over onto his back. He looked up in time to see Miss Monday slip some brass knuckles onto her hand.

 **Whap!**

Miss Monday pounced on Zoro and used her immense strength to pin the swordsman down on the roof while she raised her other fist up overhead. "SUPERHUMAN… KNUCKLE DUSTER!"

Miss Monday brought her fist down and smashed the brass knuckles down into Zoro's forehead.

 **KA-POW!**

The roof cracked from the impact and Mr. 8 watched from the street with a smile on his face.

"How dare he make us waste so much time," the lead Baroque Works Agent complained.

* * *

"PEACOCK STRING…" Miss Wednesday swung her bladed jewels and sent them flying out at Sabo. "SNATCHER!"

 **WHAP!**

But instead of slashing the entranced pirate… the jewel wrapped around the rifle on his lap and with a hard tug on the chains Miss Wednesday yanked Bonnie Anne away from her boyfriend.

 **KER-CHOW!**

"Wha! BONNIE!" Sabo yelped as the gun shot brought him out of his trance. "I wasn't staring! She means nothing to me!"

 **Thunk!**

Bonnie Anne slammed to the ground at Miss Wednesday's feet.

"You bitch…" Sabo growled as he pushed off of the ground and forced himself up to his feet. "You give her back right now… or I swear to God… **I will tear you apart**!"

Miss Wednesday flinched and took two steps backwards from the malice dripping in Sabo's voice. But she smirked when she felt something press into her back.

"I… you don't scare me!" Miss Wednesday bluffed. "You're unarmed. And even if you weren't… your gun just fired its last bullet. You can't do anything to me from all the way over there!"

Both Sabo and Miss Wednesday stared down at the rifle that way lying on the ground in front of the Baroque Works Agent.

"NOW MR. 9!" Miss Wednesday suddenly spun to the side and revealed her partner behind her.

"HOME-RUN… HIDE-A-BAT!"

 **BANG!**

The top half of Mr. 9's steel bat fired at Sabo. The pirate was caught off guard by the double layered surprise attack and ended up bound by the steel chain that followed the bat as his wrapped around him.

"HAHA! GOT HIM!" Mr. 9 gloated as he pulled back on the chain and pinned Sabo's arms to his sides. "Finish him off Miss Wednesday!"

Sabo shook his head as Miss Wednesday charged at him while swinging her weapons at her side. "PEACOCK STRING…"

"When will you people learn not to hold onto the other end of the chain after binding someone that's stronger than you," Sabo grumbled as he lunged backwards which yanked Mr. 9 off of his feet.

"WAAH! LOOK OUT!" Mr. 9 shrieked went flying through the air and slammed into Miss Wednesday from behind.

 **WHAM!**

Miss Wednesday was knocked off balance and nearly fell from her partner slamming into her. The chain around Sabo went slightly slack and he was able to grab onto the line attaching him to Mr. 9 and his bat.

Sabo grinned as he spun around and swung a screaming Mr. 9 passed him in a wide arc. "WAAAH!"

 **WHING!**

Sabo kept spinning and swung Mr. 9 back the other way and smashed him into Miss Wednesday a second time.

 **KRASH!**

Both Baroque Works Agents went flying and landed in a heap behind Bonnie Anne. They started to get back up but damage had already been done. The impact had caused Mr. 9 to lose his hold on his bat so Sabo's chain came completely loose and dropped to the ground by his feet.

 **SKISH!**

Sabo leapt forward and dropped into a roll that saw him snatch Bonnie Anne up off of the ground and roll back up onto his feet in one smooth movement. He spun around and swung Bonnie Anne like a baseball bat, "KNOCK BACK!"

 **WHAAAM!**

Sabo's rifle slammed into Mr. 9 and Mr. 9 collided with Miss Wednesday which caused the pair to go flying off into the night sky.

 **Twinkle!**

"AND THEY'RE OUTTA HERE!" Sabo cheered. He raised Bonnie Anne and kissed the side of her nozzle. "Mwa, now _that's_ what I call a home run. Thanks for having my back, Bonnie. You're the best."

* * *

"AAAUUUGGGGH!"

Mr. 8 went stiff when he heard the sound of a scream. But it wasn't Zoro's. It was Miss Monday's.

"Where's all that strength now, muscle woman?" Zoro taunted. He was bleeding from the forehead where Miss Monday had slugged him with her brass knuckles. All he'd done to retaliate was reach up, grab her forehead, and squeeze. The gap in strength between the muscular Baroque Works Agent and the Straw Hats' Boatswain was that immense.

"AAUUGGGGHH!" Miss Monday kept screaming to the point where she was foaming from the mouth. Zoro finally let go and she dropped limply to the ground.

"WHOA! HE BEAT MISS MONDAY IN A CONTEST OF STRENGTH!"

Zoro turned and found his new targets.

 **SLIKA-SLICE!**

Two sword swings later the roof was clear again. He casually sheathed his two new blades and walked to the edge of the roof so he could peer down at Mr. 8.

"Is there anyone actually worth fighting in this town full of assassins?" he taunted. "Come on then, Baroque Works. I can keep going of you can."

"How disgraceful," Mr. 8 remarked, "For so many of our number to be defeated by a single swordsman. We were entrusted by the Boss to oversee this town. It's our responsibility to stop any pirates that come through… especially ones that learn about our organization. I" Mr. 8 raised his saxophone to his lips and blew into it. "IGARAPPA!"

 **BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM!**

"WHOA!" Zoro yelped as he dodged the bullets that Mr. 8 fired from his hair.

"IGARAPPA!" Mr. 8 kept fired another salvo of bullets just as Zoro landed.

 **BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM!**

 **SKISH!**

Zoro launched himself off a roof and dove through a window into a house for cover.

"IGARAPPA!"

 **BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM!**

Mr. 8's bullets impacted with the front wall of the house.

"I've gotta get close to that guy in order to beat him," Zoro resolved as he crept down the stairs to the ground floor. "But that's gonna be tricky if he keeps firing bullets from his hair…"

" **YOU'RE NOT SAFE IN THERE!"** Mr. 8 bellowed from outside.

Zoro peered through the front window and saw Mr. 8 standing outside the building.

"Preparations complete!" Mr. 8 announced as he blew a different note in his saxophone.

 **CLICK-CLICK-CLICK!**

"What the heck!?" Zoro yelped as six gun barrels popped out from the rollers in Mr. 8's wig.

"IGARAPPAPA!"

 **BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG!**

The more powerful barrage of bullets blasted straight through the front wall of the house.

 **SKISH!**

Zoro launched himself away from the stairs and ducked behind a table to avoid the hail of gunfire as the entire front wall of the house began to grumble.

"IGARAPPAPA!"

 **BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG!**

"Shit! This isn't good!" Zoro cursed, "It's like that guy has _six_ rifles. I need an opening if I want any hope of getting close enough to finish him off."

"THERE'S NO ESCAPE SWORDSMAN!" Mr. 8 shouted, "IGARA—"

The Baroque Works Agent trailed off when something caught the corner of his eye. He looked upward and saw Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday come plummeting down out of the sky.

 **KRASH!**

The two agents that Sabo had just beaten crashed through an awning of a market stall and smashed the boxes as they landed.

"PR-MISS WEDNESDAY!" Mr. 8 gasped as he stared at the blue haired woman in shock.

" _There's my opening,"_ Zoro realized as he drew _Wado Ichimonji_ and launched himself out through the huge hole that Mr. 8 had blasted in the front of the house.

 **SLISH!**

"UUGGH!" Mr. 8 groaned in pain as Zoro's sword slashed him across the chest.

"Now it's over," Zoro resolved as he stood over his fallen adversary. He raised his lone blade and smiled at it. " _Wado Ichimonji_ … perfect as usual."

" **Are you actually talking** **to your sword? You know that's crazy, right?"**

Zoro spun around and spotted the absolute last person that he wanted to catch him conversing with his swords. He definitely didn't like the wide shit-eating grin on the rifle-wielding Quartermaster's face.

Zoro flushed slightly and swore, "Aw fuck!"

* * *

Looks like Zoro's caught some of Sabo's weapon insanity.

Next chapter is the big Vivi reveal. Does anyone think that Sabo's gonna take it well?

Silver signing off


	27. Princess Vivi

_**BROTHER ON BOARD**_

Guest 1 - Poor Vivi has no idea that Devil Fruit Powered Assassins are going to be the least of her worries.

The Patient One - That's only if Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine can get to Vivi first. Sabo's a dick in this chapter but that's mainly because of all his deep seeded grudge against nobles/royalty. It'll be up to Vivi to convince him that she's different. As for the 'LuNa'... that is not going to be a primary focus of this fic. So I'll never consider it a LuNa fic - per say. It's probably not even going to be a main subplot. Right now, they're at a point where Luffy notices Nami because she kissed him. So he pays more attention to the things she does than he did before. Nami is aware of Luffy's attention but so far isn't doing anything about it aside from making jokes because she knows the thought of his brother in a relationship makes Sabo uncomfortable. Maybe that will change as the story goes on. Drum Kingdom could potentially be a turning point. But honestly, I think I paid more attention to SaboxZoro (SaZo? SaRo?) in this chapter. But that was mostly for laughs.

TheREALMightyKamina - Sabo is One Piece English so making him drink tea kind of makes sense for him. A few of the Straw Hats have a signature drink. Zoro - Booze, Franky - Cola, Brook - Milk. I figured I'd alter things that I had previously glossed over to give Sabo one too. There's a payoff to tea-drinking Sabo coming soon. I thought making Sabo half conscious/half paralyzed during the fight would make it more unique. He didn't exactly shout 'to the pain' but it was a subtle reference. I actually included a full Princess Bride quote in this chapter.

Bluejay Blaze - One option for the artist appears in this chapter. But someone else has an issue with the Straw Hats taking him.

Lightsbane1905 - True. And if there's someone with powers like Sugar's then I suppose there could be a Devil Fruit User out there somewhere that can turn people into weapons. But that's not what I did. I'm trying to avoid adding in unnecessary OCs. I'm aware that Sabo already comes off as a bit of an OC since he's so different from canon. But a different situation inspires different characteristics and that's the basis for this story. Sabo may not be much like his canon-self but his appearance, origin and relationship with his brothers remain the same.

Guest 2 - Since 'well' doesn't mean being a homicidal prick about the situation... I'd say your statistic is fairly accurate.

rasEnshur1KEn - First of all, thanks for adding so much to the TV Tropes page. I don't know if I'm ever going to show Luffy drunk. But if I do it probably won't come until much later in the story. Maybe so everyone has enough time to 'forget' about Luffy's condition and be caught off guard by the absurdity of the situation. Sabo has some major issues that Vivi's actually going to be able to help him work through. Once Sabo gets over trying to murder her (I think that qualifies as a 'What the Hell Hero?' moment) they start a political debate that will span multiple chapters. Part 1 makes Sabo's position on 'politics' clear while Part 2 is where Vivi will rally back by bringing up Sabo's own noble status.

Lunapok - Caught ya Zoro! Sabo will let it go pretty easy in _this chapter_ because there are more pressing issues. But it's safe to say that Sabo is _never_ going to let Zoro live that moment down.

BedofRoses1989 - The Sabo-Vivi royalty rivalry gets a lot more intense in this chapter and it's going to be predominant for most of the Baroque Works Saga. Sabo has a lot of issues that Vivi is going to end up helping him work through. SaboxBonnie is going to stay the main ship. They are going to remain the Strangest Couple Ever for the rest of this story. You think the trapped-in-a-rifle thing is weird? I'm just getting started. Sabo and Zoro's relationship is going to remain mostly the same. They'll be constantly making fun of each other and looking for any excuse to ride each other's asses. Ugh... I just realized how that last bit sounded. I'm going to have to watch my phrasing about those two after last chapter.

Guest 3 - A fish? That was probably me putting something in subconsciously because I realized I missed a huge comedic opportunity to have Usopp slap someone with the Blue-Finned Elephant Tuna back in Loguetown. It's fixed now. Thanks.

MeatLover2014 - Only punch? The other guy was fake royalty. I think Sabo might have even suspected it from the start. Vivi is _real_ royalty. Pray for her...

 **A/N: Hang on BoB crew! This is my longest chapter yet! It goes from the introduction of Mr. 5 and Ms. Valentine to the debut of Nico Robin.**

* * *

 **Princess Vivi-**

"That swordsman's nuts!" a bounty hunter shrieked as he and two others ran out of Whiskey Peak.

"I can't believe he beat Miss Monday and Mr. 8!" one of his companions exclaimed.

"Let's get outta here before he gets us too!" the third bounty hunter resolved.

But the trio of bounty hunters froze in their tracks when they spotted two animals perched on the sign for the cemetery. The first was a small brown otter in a pair of big black sunglasses wearing a pale blue costume with purple dots all over it. The costume had long sleeves and hood that went over his head to hide most of his face. "MR. 13!"

The other animal was a large vulture with black feathers on her wings and a white ruff around her neck. Like most vultures she was bald exposing most of her pink head that wasn't hidden by her aviator's cap and dark goggles. "MISS FRIDAY!"

"IT'S THE UNLUCKIES!"

The two animals acted as messengers for Baroque Works… and also executioners.

"Uh… we weren't running away!" one of the bounty hunters blurted out.

"Yeah… we were just… uh… withdrawing to attack from another angle!" another lied desperately.

Mr. 13 and Miss Friday smirked maliciously and prepared to carry out their duty…

" **Hold it right there!"** a deep voice called out.

The three bounty hunters and the two animals all turned to see a man and a woman approaching.

The man was moderately tall with dark skin and black hair in spiky dreadlocks that made him look vaguely like Lenny Kravitz. He wore dark sunglasses, a large pink cravat and a long brown trench coat with the number '5' written on numerous parts of it.

The woman was slim with pale blonde hair and bright green eyes. She wore a yellow dress with an orange collar that had lemons on it along with a matching round yellow hat. She had an open yellow umbrella with a blue rings on it casually thrown of her shoulder.

"What's with all the commotion the middle of the night?" the woman questioned.

"Hmph," the man grunted, "I can't believe we had to come all the way out here to the front lines."

"Who are you?" one of the bounty hunters demanded.

"ANSWER HIM!" another one shouted, "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?"

"Mr. 5," the man answered.

"Miss Valentine," the woman replied.

* * *

"Hmmm…" Luffy groaned as he sat up and blearily blinked. "Is there any more of that meat left?"

He stood up and with his belly still swelled up like a balloon wandered out of the tavern into the night. With Luffy gone, Usopp and Sanji were left as the only ones still sleeping in the tavern.

* * *

"So… how many did you get?" Zoro inquired.

"You mean including those two?" Sabo asked as he pointed down at Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday. "Two."

"HAH! I win this time," Zoro boasted. "I took out the whole town. Swords beat gun!"

"Okay, you win," Sabo agreed, "But to be fair, they drugged my tea with something special. I was half conscious for most my battle and didn't have any feeling in my legs until the very end of it."

"It's not my problem you got duped," Zoro retorted. "Don't make excuses. You still lost."

"Taunt me all you want," Sabo replied, "You're not gonna ruin my good mood. I caught you talking to your sword."

"That's _your_ fault," Zoro growled, "I should've known that your rifle nonsense was contagious!"

"It's not nonsense if it's true!" Sabo cheekily pointed out, "So… are the others okay?"

"They were sleeping in the tavern when I left," Zoro recalled, "I took care of all the bounty hunters so they shouldn't have had a chance to kill any of them like they planned."

Sabo and Zoro made their way back to the tavern but were surprised to find only a sleeping Master Gunner and Ship's Cook still inside.

"Huh… where are Luffy and Nami?" Zoro wondered.

"Well… Luffy sometimes gets hungry in the middle of the night," Sabo reasoned, "He probably wandered off in search of a late night snack."

"A snack?" Zoro questioned. "After everything he ate? He went through three cooks."

"Never underestimate his rubber stomach," Sabo warned Zoro, "Now where'd Nami go?"

" **I'm right here…"**

Nami came out of a closet on the other side of the tavern with a bag slung over her shoulder. "That was disappointing. For a town full of bounty hunters I thought they'd have more money." She glanced around the tavern. "Hey, where's Luffy?"

"That's what we were just about to ask you," Zoro replied. "Were you passed out all this time?"

"Passed out?" Nami rolled her eyes, "Please. I can drink way more than that. Luffy was right over there just a moment ago. He must've wandered out while I was raiding their treasure hold."

"Those two will be okay," Sabo resolved as he looked over at Usopp and Sanji, "Let's find the Captain."

* * *

"Ugghh… I can't die here…" Mr. 8 groaned as he struggled to get up. _"I have an important mission…"_

" **Are you really so pathetic that you lost to just one swordsman?"**

Mr. 8 turned to see Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine, "MR. 5! MISS VALENTINE!"

"Kyahahahaha!" Miss Valentine laughed, "Oh give him a break. You can't expect a Frontier Agents with a handful of Millions to be as capable as we are."

"Did you come here just to laugh at us?" Mr. 8 growled.

"Nope!" Miss Valentine replied with a cheeky smile, "That's just a side benefit! Kyahahahaha!"

"We're actually here on business," Mr. 5 stated.

" **Uggh…"** There was a groan and they all turned to see Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday waking up.

"You must be here to serve as reinforcements!" Mr. 9 realized when he noticed the pair of new arrivals. He looked over at Mr. 8. "From the looks of you, I'd say you're having just as much trouble as we are. But with you two helping us… we'll be able to take all the pirates down easily."

"Quit messing around," Mr. 5 scoffed, "We're Baroque Works Officer Agents. Do you really think we came all the way out here just to be your back up?"

"What? Then what business could you have here?" Mr. 9 wondered.

"Kyahaha!" Miss Valentine let out a quick laugh, "Surely, you must have a hunch."

"…" Mr. 8 and Miss Wednesday glared at the pair.

"There's been a crime against our organization," Mr. 5 explained, "And it was serious enough that the boss specifically dispatched us to sort it out. The boss' exact words were 'my secret's been found out.' We don't know what the secret is… and we don't care. Our organization's motto is 'mystery'. No one is allowed to pry into other agents' personal lives… and that goes double for anything about the boss."

Miss Valentine smirked and continued where her partner left off, "We've learned that the perpetrators for this crime are royalty from certain kingdom that have managed to infiltrate Baroque Works."

"WHOA! HOLD ON!" Mr. 9 shrieked in alarm. "R-royalty? I may wear a crown but I'm not really a King!" He snatched the crown off his head and tossed it at the two Officer Agents. "Here, take it! This thing's more trouble than its worth!"

Miss Valentine shook her head, "Not you, you idiot!"

" _It's over!"_ Mr. 8 thought to himself, _"They know everything!"_

"The two spies are from the Royal Kingdom of Alabasta," Mr. 5 stated.

Mr. 8 surged to his feet and fired a barrage of bullets from his rollers, "DIE! IGARAPPAPA!"

 **BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG!**

"I WON'T LET YOU HARM HER!" Mr. 8 bellowed. The bullets exploded on impact.

 **KA-BOOOM!**

Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine were shrouded in a thick cloud of smoke.

"Mr. 8! What are you doing?" Mr. 9 wondered.

"IGARAM!" Miss Wednesday gasped.

" _Igaram_?" Mr. 9 repeated.

'Igaram' turned to face the blue haired girl, "When we started our infiltration I swore on my honor as the Captain of the Royal Guard that I'd protect you no matter what happened. Princess, you must run!"

" **Kyahahahaha! That was futile!"** Miss Valentine came flying out of the cloud of smoke completely unharmed and launched herself straight at Miss Wednesday. Miss Wednesday ducked to the side to avoid a kick but Miss Valentine's knee ended up connecting with the band binding her hair.

 **Krack!**

The band fell off and Miss Wednesday's long blue hair came loose as she lashed out and swung at her attacker in retaliation.

 **SKISH!**

Miss Valentine jumped over the attack and practically flew a clear twenty feet up into the air.

 **KA-BOOOM!**

An explosion rang out and Miss Wednesday turned to see a smoking Igaram drop to the ground. "IGARAM!"

" **The names of the spies…"** Mr. 5 stated as the smoke cleared to reveal him completely unharmed, "…are Igaram, the Captain of the Alabasta Royal Guard… and the Princess of Alabasta… Nefertari Vivi."

" _You_ were a Princess. Miss Wednesday?" Mr. 9 blurted out.

"Now's not the time for that, Mr. 9!" Princess Vivi snapped.

"We are under direct orders from our boss to eliminate the two of you," Mr. 5 announced.

Mr. 5's death threat would have been more intimidating if he hadn't just stuck his finger up his nose.

"DON'T UNDERESTIMATE ME!" Princess Vivi yelled as she drew her weapons, "PEACOCK…" She was cut off when Mr. 9 stood up and held one of his bats out in front of her. "Mr. 9?"

"I have no idea what's going on," Mr. 9 confessed, "But you're still the same girl that was my partner for all these years. I'll hold them off so that you can escape. Run for it, Miss Wednesday!"

Princess Vivi sniffed sadly knowing this would probably be the last time she ever saw her old partner. She turned and called out for her pet, "CARUE!"

" **QUAACK!"** The Super Spot-Billed Duck came charging out of a nearby alley and stopped in front of her. Princess Vivi mounted her loyalty steed and looked back at Mr. 9 who gave her a sad smile.

"Bye-bye, baby!" The acrobat launched himself at Mr. 5 with a series of slips while Princess Vivi raced off on Carue. Mr. 9 raised his bat and prepared to bring it down on Mr. 5. "HOT-BLOODED BAT OF GUTS!"

Mr. 5 pulled his finger out of his nose and flicked a booger at his attacker. "Nose Fancy…"

 **Fwip!**

"GAH!" Mr. 9 shrieked as another man's snot landed on him.

"CANNON!" Mr. 5's snot detonated and blasted Mr. 9 off down the street in a fiery explosion.

 **KA-BOOOOM!**

"She went that way, Mr. 5!" Miss Valentine called out as she floated in the air with her umbrella raised up overhead.

"She won't escape from us!" Mr. 5 resolved as he and Miss Valentine tore off after Princess Vivi.

"Uuugghh… noo…" Igaram wheezed as he laid on the ground charred and bleeding.

" **I've got the strangest feeling that we just missed something important."**

Igaram turned and saw Sabo, Zoro and Nami standing there.

"You! You've got to help me!" the exposed Captain of the Alabasta Royal Guard exclaimed. "You're strong! Please! You must save Miss Wednesday!"

"Why?" Zoro asked, "You guys spent most of the night trying to kill us. Remember?"

"We did that as part of our cover," Igaram hastily explained. "Princess Vivi and I infiltrated Baroque Works to save our kingdom. But we've been discovered and now they're trying to kill us."

"Princess?" Sabo repeated. His expression faded and his face went blank.

"Yeah, did you say 'Princess'?" Nami inquired. "That means she's loaded, right? If you want us to risk our necks to save your Princess… then you've gotta compensate us for it."

"Please! They'll kill her!" Igaram urged them. He searched the pirates' faces for any sign of sympathy. Zoro appeared indifferent to the whole matter. It didn't concern him. Sabo's face was still notably blank. And Nami's face was dominated by a greedy smirk.

"We'll save her… for a billion berries," Nami proposed.

"A BI-BILL!" Igaram sputtered and nearly choked. "MAH-MAH-MAA! I am but a lowly servant! That's a matter you'll have to take up with the Princess. Please! This is a matter of life and death!"

"Oh, I see," Nami replied, "You want us to rescue her first."

"Do you wanna say something?" Zoro asked Sabo… who now had a grim smile on his face.

"Don't bother with him," Nami insisted. " _I'm_ negotiating this deal! Zoro, go save her."

"What? Get her yourself," Zoro retorted, "I don't want any part of your moneymaking schemes."

"Is _that_ the way you talk to someone that you owe money?" Nami challenged him.

"It's only a hundred thousand berries!" Zoro growled. "I already paid you back half of what I borrowed."

"Actually its _three hundred_ ," Nami countered, "Don't forget the two hundred percent interest. You owed me four hundred thousand berries but only paid back one hundred."

"But I gave it back to you the same day!" Zoro argued. "That can't count!"

"Of course it does!" Nami insisted, "If you couldn't handle paying off the loan you shouldn't have taken it in the first place. I'm not a charity. Because of the interest, the amount that you owe me will keep going up until you finally fully pay me off. _But_ … I'd be willing to show you some leniency on the accumulating interest if you do me this favor."

"That's blackmail!" Zoro snarled, "Get someone else to be your errand boy!"

" **I'll take care of it,"** Sabo volunteered. He slung Bonnie Anne over his shoulder and dashed off.

"At least one of you knows how to get something done," Nami berated Zoro.

Zoro scowled and shook his head, "You're such an idiot."

Nami glared at Zoro, " _I'm_ an idiot!?"

"What else would I call you?" Zoro replied, "You just let the guy with a malicious grudge anyone noble or royal… go off to rescue _a Princess_."

"Whaaa…" Mr. 8 croaked then started coughing. "KOFF! KOFF! KOFF!"

Nami had gone pale at Zoro revelation… then she swore loudly, "OH _SHIT_!" She spun and ran off after the Quartermaster, "SAABOO! YOU SON OF A BITCH! IF YOU COST ME A BILLION BERRIES I'LL TAKE BONNIE AND SHOVE HER SO FAR UP YOUR ASS THAT _YOU'LL_ BE THE ONE SPITTING BULLETS!"

"Now that's an angry woman…" Zoro remarked.

" **ZOOORRROOO!"**

The swordsman turned to see a furious Luffy. "Oh, there you are."

"YOU UNGRATEFUL BASTARD!" Luffy yelled, "I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!"

"Excuse me?" Zoro questioned.

"These people welcomed us and gave us free food!" Luffy exclaimed, "AND YOU WENT AND BEAT EVERYONE UP, YA DIRTBAG!"

"Hey, hold on!" Zoro protested, "That wasn't what you think!"

"I DON'T WANNA HEAR ANY OF YOUR LIES!" Luffy hollered at him.

"Lies?" Zoro repeated, now getting offended, "I DON'T LIE!"

"Oh, yeah, what's that then?" Luffy said as he pointed at the wounded Igaram. "YOU DID THAT TO THE ROLLER-GUY! I LIKED THAT GUY! NOW I'M GONNA BEAT SOME GRATITUDE INTO YOU!"

Luffy shot his fist out at Zoro and the swordsman lunged to the side to avoid the blow.

 **KROOM!**

Zoro's eyes widened in shock as Luffy's fist smashed through the stone wall of the building behind him. "Holy shit! You _really are_ trying to kill me!"

"YEAH!" Luffy agreed, "SO DIE!" Luffy threw another punch at Zoro but Zoro knocked it away with one of his swords.

 **WHAK!**

"I'll show you what everyone in this town learned the hard way!" Zoro growled, " _No one_ tries to kill me and gets away with it!"

" **WAAAAAIIIIIT!"** Luffy and Zoro froze and turned to see Igaram sitting up. "I can explain!" And he did.

"OOOOH! So _that's_ what happened," Luffy remarked, "I thought you attacked them 'cause they didn't have a dish you liked!"

"THAT'S SOMETHING _YOU'D_ DO!" Zoro snapped at him.

* * *

Carue raced through Whiskey Peak with Princess Vivi on his back.

" **I'VE FOUND HER, MR. 5!"**

"FASTER CARUE!" Princess Vivi urged her duck. "There's a ship waiting on the other side of the Cactus Rocks. We can escape on that."

"Kyahahahaha," Ms. Valentine laughed as she dropped down out of the sky and landed on a stack of crates next to her partner, "such a futile struggle."

 **SKEEESH…**

Carue skidded to a stop when someone barred his path.

"MISS MONDAY!" the former Miss Wednesday blurted out.

Miss Monday still had bruises on her face from her scuffle with Zoro and was now wielding a huge wooden support beam as a weapon.

"Go," Miss Monday said surprising the Princess. "If you cut through that alley you should be able to get to your boat. I'll do my best to hold off these guys."

"But…" Princess Vivi started to reply but Miss Monday cut her off.

"We all failed our mission because of those pirates. We worked together here at Whiskey Peak all these years… and since I'm going to be punished anyway… I might as well go down swinging and protect someone that I consider a friend. NOW GO!"

"I… thank you!" Princess Vivi called out as she raced off again.

"Another traitor," Mr. 5 noted when he found Miss Monday barring their path, "First Mr. 9, now you."

"Kyahahaha! What a joke," Miss Valentine scoffed.

"Your loyalty should be to Baroque Works above all else!" Mr. 5 growled, "YOU'RE A DISGRACE TO OUR ORGANIZATION!"

Miss Monday swung her post at Mr. 5 but the Officer Agent ducked under it and smashed his arm into the muscular woman. His arm exploded on contact.

 **KA-BOOOOOM!**

Miss Monday was blasted backwards and landed on her back.

"KYAHAHAHAHA!" Miss Valentine cackled as she floated overhead. "HEADS UP! 10,000 KILO PRESS!"

 **SHOOOOO!**

Miss Valentine plummeted down out of the sky and came crashing down on Miss Monday

 **BOOOOOM!**

The much smaller blonde dropped on Miss Monday and the incredible impact buried the larger woman a sheer ten feet in the ground.

* * *

Outside of Whiskey Peak, just ahead of the Cactus Rocks, Princess Vivi closed her eyes and struggled not to shed tears as another one of the friends she'd made during her infiltration likely died protecting her.

 **KER-CHOW!**

 **"QUAAAA!"** Carue shrieked in alarm as a bullet blew a large hole in the path ahead of them.

"That was your one warning shot," Sabo stated as he stood barring the path through the Cactus Rocks. "I'm not using rubber rounds this time."

"I have no quarrel with you, Dandy Man," Princess Vivi assured him. "Please, I have to get passed!"

"Oh, and I'm just supposed to forget about how you tried to kill me in my sleep?" Sabo countered. "You damn royals think you can get away with everything."

"I... that was part of my cover!" Princess protested. "I'm trying to save my country!"

"Right," Sabo scoffed, "And how pray tell does saving your country involve disguising yourself as a bounty hunter and murdering people?"

"I was undercover!" Princess Vivi insisted, "I've been infiltrating Baroque Works for three years as a spy!"

"And that magically makes what you did okay?" Sabo countered, "Don't think that I didn't notice that the tombstone needles on the 'cacti' behind me. How many sailors came to your town thinking that they had accomplished something great? That they had survived the unpredictable weather in the first leg of the Grand Line and were about to embark on the journey of their lives... only to be drugged and killed in their sleep by a town full of murdering cowards!"

Vivi flinched, "They... they were pirates!" the princess protested, "They were thieves and murderers!"

"Is that what you told yourself to justify your actions?" Sabo accused her.

"Yes!" Vivi insisted, "It's the only way I could sleep at night! And even then... who do you think started planting those tombstones!? Those are just a small portion of the lives taken by Baroque Works! I've been spying on them all this time looking for a way to bring them down. And now that I've finally found one... they've sent assassins after me!"

" **Hold it right there!"**

Sabo looked passed Vivi while Vivi looked back over her shoulder to see Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine.

"Oi! Piss off!" Sabo called out to the Officer Agents.

"That girl has committed crimes against our organization," M. 5 stated, "We're here to kill her."

"Well you're just gonna have to wait your turn!" Sabo snapped at them.

"Excuse me?" Mr. 5 dead-panned

"I caught her first!" Sabo replied, "That means _I_ get to kill her. Go find your own Princess!"

"Well isn't that convenient," Mr. 5 remarked. He folded his arms across his chest, "Fine, then, kill her."

Miss Valentine looked over at her partner in surprise, "You're actually going to let him do it?"

"Our mission is complete as long as the Princess is dead," Mr. 5 stated. "It doesn't really make a difference to the end result if someone else does it. And in the meantime, there are four traitorous Frontier Agents that need to be replaced. If the kid's good we can put in a good word with the boss."

"Kyahahaha!" Miss Valentine laughed, "Works for me."

Sabo smirked and turned back to Princess Vivi. "Now where were we?"

Vivi now found herself between a rock and a hard place. Ahead of her was a pirate that hated royalty wielding a high-power rifle who would _most likely_ kill her. Behind her were two highly skilled Devil Fruit Powered assassins from Baroque Works who would _definitely_ kill her.

Vivi desperately threw herself off of Carue and dropped to her knees in front of Sabo, "Is this what you want? To see a Princess groveling at your feet? I know you hate royalty... but you have to spare me!"

"So I'm just supposed to forget about everything you did?" Sabo challenged her, "You tried to murder Laboon. That poor whale had been suffering in misery for the last fifty years. And then, Luffy decided to do you guys a favor and had us select our course specifically so we could take you home. And what do you do in exchange? You leave us to be drugged by your bounty hunter friends. What would've happened if you had actually succeeded, huh? We would've been dead. Just six more tombstones on your cacti. Bonnie would be all alone. And you'd _still_ have assassins coming after you." Sabo shook his head. "You might think that because you're a Princess it means you're above the law... above such trivial things that we common folk have to face, like justice. But your royal lineage doesn't mean shit to me!"

Vivi was now openly sobbing. "Please... please don't... This is a matter of life and death!"

"Yeah… yours," Sabo agreed.

"NO! The lives of my people!" Princess Vivi exclaimed. "If you kill me... then thousands... hundreds of thousands of my people will die!"

"Don't flatter yourself, Princess," Sabo retorted, "You may think that the world revolves around you and that your country wouldn't be able to function without you to worship... but that's a load of crap. Your people will be better off."

"BAROQUE WORKS IS MANIPULATING MY COUNTRY INTO A CIVIL WAR!" Vivi shouted, "I learned who their boss is! I can stop it! But you have to let me go... PLEASE! You cared enough to protect that whale so I know you can't possibly be this cruel! If you kill me now then every death in my kingdom will be on _your hands_!"

"I'm still not convinced," Sabo admitted, "You lied about being a secret agent. You lied about being a bounty hunter. How do I know that this isn't another one of your lies because I've got you cornered in a bad situation?" Sabo raised his rifle, "What do you think, Bonnie?"

Vivi was suddenly staring down the barrel of a rifle pointed at her forehead. She let out a whimper and closed her eyes as tears ran down her face.

"Please… my people… they'll die…"

 **"QUAAAACK!"** Carue quacked surprisingly menacingly and lunged at Sabo.

 **SWISH!**

Sabo ducked under Carue's attempted tackle… then pulled Bonnie's trigger.

 **Click!**

Vivi let out a sigh of exhausted relief. The near death situation had drained most of the fight from her.

"It appears that my better half wants to give you a chance," Sabo commented.

"Th-thank you… B-Bonnie…" the still shaken and sobbing Princess replied. Vivi didn't know what was going on with that rifle. But she'd do _anything_ to save her kingdom. And if that included playing along with some psychopathic pirate's rifle obsession… then she'd do it.

"So in the end… you didn't kill her," Mr. 5 noted as he uncrossed his arms. "I guess you're afraid to get your hands dirty. _We're_ not. We're _professional_ assassins. Now we'll just have to kill you along with her."

Sabo shook his head and stepped passed Vivi. "You shouldn't have said that. Y'see, I may have decided not to kill her myself. But I hadn't decided if I wanted to risk my neck trying to save her. But now you've forced the issue by threatening to kill _me_. Ask the Princess… I don't take kindly to murder attempts."

"It's true…" Vivi admitted. "He doesn't. Thank you for saving me..."

"Stuff it, Princess!" Sabo snapped, "I'm not saving _you_. I'm defending _myself_."

"Right..." Vivi mused. Since Sabo wasn't actually looking out for her… she decided to focus on her own survival. Vivi crawled over to Carue and used him to pull herself back to her feet.

"One more victim… that's no skin off my nose," Mr. 5 replied before he stuck his finger up his nose.

Sabo flinched, "What are you doing!? That can't be what you meant by 'getting your hands dirty'!"

"I'm…"

"That's disgusting!" Sabo exclaimed. "What kind of sick bastard just jams his finger up his nose? Are you trying to gross me out and throw me off my game?"

"Kyahahaha!" Miss Valentine couldn't help laughing, "Looks like he's calling you out, Mr. 5! Kyahaha!"

Mr. 5 raised his sunglasses with his clean hand and glared at his partner which was enough to silence her laughter before he turned back to Sabo. "I have Devil Fruit Powers from eating the Bomb Bomb Fruit. I can turn any part of my body into a bomb. And that includes my boogers. Nosy Fancy… CANNON!"

 **Fwip!**

Sabo ducked to the side and Mr. 5's booger flew passed him and exploded when it hit the ground.

 **KA-BOOOOOM!**

"AAAH! CAARUUEE!" Vivi screamed as the path exploded under her and blasted the duck up into the air. Vivi was sent flying as Carue came crashing down.

 **THUD!**

The Princess stared at her cooked duck in horror.

"You can turn any part of your body into a bomb… and _that's_ what you decide to use?" Sabo asked.

"HEY BLONDIE!" Miss Valentine shouted from up in the air. "I've got powers too! I ate the Kilo Kilo Fruit! I can change my weight from anything between one to ten thousand kilograms!"

"I mean seriously!" Sabo continued to complain, "That's the most disgusting Devil Fruit Power I've ever heard of! Granted, I don't know that many Devil Fruit Users. But at least the others all have a quiet dignity about them. Seriously, couldn't you at least use your spit? Nobody wants to have some sick freak's bodily fluids on them… but at least it's not _mucus_!"

"I hope you're getting scared!" Miss Valentine threatened, "I'm starting to increase my weight now! I'll squash you flat!"

"I don't need you to tell me how to use my powers!" Mr. 5 insisted as he dug for another bomb.

"THERE YOU GO AGAIN!" Sabo shouted. "THIS IS A FIGHT! GET YOUR FINGER OUT OF YOUR NOSE!"

"HEY! PAY ATTENTION TO ME!" Miss Valentine yelled.

"DANDY MAN! THAT WOMAN—" Princess Vivi called out in alarm as she knelt over her duck. There was no love lost between her and Sabo but he was her best chance at surviving Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine.

"Can it, Princess!" Sabo ordered, "I'm busy with the nose picker."

"10,000 KILO PRESS!" Miss Valentine shrieked as she plummeted down out of the sky.

Mr. 5 pulled his finger out, "Nose Fancy…"

 **KER-CHOW!**

Sabo fired Bonnie Anne who recoiled and threw him backwards two feet.

 **BOOOOM!**

Miss Valentine slammed into the ground in the spot Sabo had just been standing in.

"AAUUGGH!" Mr. 5 screamed out in pain as he held up his hand… which was now missing fingers.

"There, problem solved," Sabo stated as he stood back up.

"YOU JACKASS!" Miss Valentine hollered as she climbed out of the crater she'd made in the ground.

"What's your problem?" Sabo asked the angry blonde.

"I HATE BEING IGNORED!" the blonde snapped.

"Oh, is that all?" Sabo questioned, "Ten thousand kilograms, right?"

"I… yes," Miss Valentine answered, surprised that he'd actually been paying attention.

"There's a reason I didn't concern myself about your powers…" Sabo stated, "They're not impressive." Sabo wound up and smashed the Officer Agent with his rifle. "KNOCK BACK!"

 **WHAAAM!**

Miss Valentine when flying backwards and slammed into her wounded partner. The two of them smashed through the front of a house and completely demolished it.

 **KROOOOM!**

"AND THEY'RE OUTTA HERE!" Sabo cheered.

"I… I didn't realize you were so strong," Vivi stammered.

"How far did I send _you_ flying with that attack?" Sabo reminded her as he turned to face the Princess. "How's your ostrich?"

"He's—" Vivi rested her head on Carue's chest and cut off her attempt to correct him when she felt a heartbeat. "HE'S ALIVE! I think he'll pull through!"

" **SOOON OOOF AAAAA BIIIIITCH!"**

 **WHAM!**

Sabo was caught off guard when Nami ran in out of nowhere and tackled him. He hit the ground head-first and was knocked unconscious.

"Hey there, Princess," Nami greeted Princess Vivi as she climbed off of Sabo, "I'm sorry for any trouble the Dandy Moron gave you. Unlike him, _I'm_ fully willing to help royalty."

"Oh… um… thank you…" Vivi replied, "But… actually… he agreed to spare me…"

"He did?" Nami questioned. "I'm surprised."

"Well… he _wanted_ to kill me," Vivi recounted, "But his… um… Bonnie decided not to."

"You're damn right she did!" Nami growled as she glared at the rifle, "Smug bitch knows I would've broken her _and her boyfriend_ in half if she cost me a big payday like this one."

"I… um… right…" Vivi said. Apparently this pirate was a violent psychopath too, "Uh… payday?"

"Well, I said I was willing to help royalty," Nami stated, "But my help comes at a price…"

Vivi swallowed. Make that a greedy violent psychopath. "And now I'm feeling decidedly less safe…"

"C'mon, you're a Princess, you can afford it," Nami reassured her, "I'll make sure you get out of here safely… and you can pay me a nice even one billion berries."

"A BILLION!?" Vivi gasped, "I don't have that much!"

"Why not?" Nami questioned, "You're royalty. Aren't you loaded? I'm not about to get stiffed!"

"You must not know anything about Alabasta," Vivi realized, "My Kingdom has been suffering through a horrible drought for years and is on the brink of civil war. No one has that kind of money now."

"Well now I'm suddenly feeling a lot less motivated to help you out," Nami remarked. "You've got assassins coming after you. I'm not about to face that kind of trouble and stick my neck out for free."

"He was…" Vivi pointed out as she motioned to Sabo. "Even though he tried to kill me… I think I'd prefer to negotiate with him… He's very rude to me… but to be fair… I _did_ try to kill him first... And isn't he your Quartermaster?"

"Yeah, but he's indisposed right now," Nami reminded her, "So I'm taking over."

 **KER-CHOW!**

"YAAH!" Nami yelped and twisted to the side as Bonnie's bullet skimmed her hip. "YOU BITCH!"

Vivi looked over at the angry pirate and then over at the rifle that was lying on the ground three feet away from Sabo. "Wait… he's _definitely_ unconscious this time. Is there something wrong with that rifle?"

"Only that it's possessed by the biggest bitch on the planet!" Nami snapped.

 **KER-CHOW!**

"YAAAH!" Nami yelped again and dodged to the other side to avoid another bullet that ended up skimming her other hip.

"Whoa!" Vivi gasped in surprise as Nami's short black skirt suddenly dropped to her knees. The Princess was suddenly treated to a view of the pirate's pale blue panties with a beri sign on them that were surprisingly fashionable and matched the pale blue sleeveless top she was wearing.

"EEEP!" Nami squealed in alarm and yanked her skirt back up. She had to hold it in place on account that Bonnie's 'missed' shots had torn through the waistband. "YOU SKANK! THIS WAS MY FAVORITE SKIRT!"

"WAIT!" Vivi yelled as she dove in between the embarrassed pirate and the rifle and held out her arms. "That rifle… Bonnie… _She_ … shot accurately enough to tear through your skirt… even with you flinching… and with no one pulling the trigger. Once might have been a coincidence… but to do it _twice_? You're not crazy… the rifle… it _really is_ possessed."

"Not for long!" Nami growled, "I'm about to perform an exorcism!"

"No! You can't!" Vivi exclaimed.

"Why not?" Nami challenged her.

"Because… she… saved my life… I think…" Vivi answered uncertainly. "My partner and I tried to kill your Quartermaster earlier. He had been drugged by something Igaram put in his tea. He was unconscious… or asleep. Either way, Bonnie defended him. She used those rubber bullets to hit Carue and my partner. And she even used the last one to wake her… boyfriend… when I had him entranced." Vivi looked down at the rifle. "Sorry about that, by the way. It wasn't personal." Vivi looked back at Nami, "And… when Sabo had her pointed at my head… he said he still wasn't convinced… he pulled the trigger… and she didn't fire." Vivi knelt down and tentatively picked up Bonnie Anne. "You saved me… thank you."

 **Click!**

Vivi blinked and looked over at Nami, "Um… does that mean something?"

"The hell if I know," Nami replied. She went to fold her arms over her chest but her ruined skirt immediately started to slip again so she quickly dropped her hands to keep it back up. "She hates me so I interpret anything she says to me as some sort of curse. You want a translation? Ask her rifle-loving boyfriend." Nami rolled her eyes and muttered, "Strangest couple ever…"

Vivi slid closer to the unconscious Quartermaster and, still very aware of the fact that they had both tried to kill each other in the span of the last hour, cautiously grabbed his shoulder and gave it a shake. "Um… Mr. Dandy Man?"

 **KER-CHOW!**

Vivi's close position meant that Bonnie fired right near Sabo's ear. Vivi was thrown backwards by the recoil and landed hard on her back. But the loud weapon emission was enough to wake Sabo.

" **What happened?"** Sabo sat up and saw the Princess holding his rifle. "GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF HER!" Sabo reached out and snatched his rifle back then hugged his girlfriend to his chest. Sabo looked passed Vivi and spotted Nami. "That was a cheap shot, Nami."

"Serves you right," Nami retorted, "You nearly cost me a billion berries."

"I'm not paying you a billion berries that I don't have!" Vivi insisted as she sat up and rubbed her back.

" **NAMI! SABO! WE'RE HERE!"**

Sabo, Nami and Vivi turned to see that Luffy and Zoro had arrived.

"See, Zoro? I told you we were going the wrong way," Luffy pointed out, "To find Sabo all you've gotta do is follow the gunshots."

"Whatever," Zoro grumbled. It was a sad day for Zoro when even Luffy had a better sense of direction than him.

"Are you the Princess?" Luffy asked as he pointed to Vivi.

"Um… yes," Vivi answered.

"The funny roller haired guy asked us to bring you home to Arablasta," Luffy announced.

"That's _Alabasta_ ," Vivi corrected him.

"Really?" Luffy asked, "I thought my way sounded cooler…"

"Did Igaram actually ask that?" Vivi questioned.

"He said he had a plan," Zoro stated, "And that we were supposed to take you home."

"You didn't agree to it, did you!?" Nami demanded. "It turns out she's broke!"

"Sure, I did," Luffy replied, "We don't have anywhere better to go."

"Oh, hell," Sabo cursed, "Now we're stuck with her…"

Nami desperately turned to Zoro, "You're not going along with this, are you?"

"He's the Captain," Zoro reminded her, "He may be an idiot but unlike you, he's a genuinely good-hearted person. I'll gladly support any of his decisions."

" **Where is he? I'll kill him!"**

Everyone turned to see Mr. 5 climb out of the rubble from the house he had destroyed. He'd lost his sunglasses and had his mutilated hand bundled up inside his coat.

Ms. Valentine could also be seen in the wreckage but she had taken the full brunt of Sabo's attack and hadn't stirred yet.

"You bastard! I'll blow you to smithereens!" Mr. 5's immense rage gave him tunnel vision and when he spotted Sabo he completely ignored Luffy and Zoro as he stomped toward him.

Luffy looked over at his brother sitting on the ground with his girlfriend propped against his chest… then back at the bleeding man that had just threatened to kill him.

 **POW!**

Luffy's fist slammed into Mr. 5's face and the Bomb Man went flying clear across Whiskey Peak and smashed through three houses along the way.

"Who was that guy?" Luffy wondered.

"Don't worry about it, Luffy," Sabo reassured him, "I doubt we'll ever see him again."

Luffy shrugged, "Okay then."

"Now then," Sabo resolved as he turned to Vivi, "What's going on in Arablasta?"

"That's Ala-Basta..." Vivi corrected him.

"I'm aware," Sabo stated, "But Luffy's way of saying it sounds cooler."

"Told ya!" Luffy chirped.

"It doesn't matter if its cooler," Zoro scolded them, "Knock it off and let her get to the point." He looked over at Vivi, "I only know the basics about your former organization. Why don't you tell us what you know about Baroque Works so we have a better idea of what we're up against?"

Luffy smiled eagerly and scrambled over to Sabo, who was still sitting on the ground with Bonnie in his lap, and dropped down next to him. Zoro rolled his eyes at the Captain's enthusiasm but couldn't hide his own curious expression as he sat down as well. Nami refused to sit on the ground and eventually found a large enough rock to take a seat on.

"I suppose I can fill you in until Igaram gets here," Vivi reasoned as she knelt down near Carue and patted her wounded duck comfortingly. "As you know by now, Baroque Works is a criminal organization. Its members are comprised of assassins, bounty hunters, pirates and other lowlifes that hide their identities using codenames. The really dangerous ones are the Officer Agents. They're the ones with male members whose codename range from one to five. Most of them have Devil Fruit Powers that make them powerful enough to have bounties outside of the organization. All the way at the top of the organization are the boss Mr. 0 and his Vice President Miss All Sunday. They're the ones running the whole operation. Mr. 0 claims that Baroque Work's objective is to create an ideal nation… a Utopia."

"Sounds good to me," Sabo remarked, "Why are we fighting these guys again?"

"Because… that objective is a _lie_!" Vivi insisted, "Mr. 0 deceives his underlings by claiming they'll have positions of power in the Utopia once their plans are complete. But his real plan is to form the Utopia by taking over Alabasta."

"Right, I figured as much," Sabo stated, "I wonder if Mr. 0 will let me be the new Mr. 8… I come equipped with my own partner."

"Sabo, you can't join a criminal organization and take over a country," Luffy reprimanded him.

"I don't see it as _taking over_ as much as liberating it from a tyrannical dictatorship," Sabo stated.

"BAROQUE WORKS ARE KILLERS!" Vivi insisted, " _They're_ the ones that ordered us to murder all the pirates you were defending earlier! Those deaths are just to fund the organization. They're going about the conquest of my country in the most cruel way possible! Baroque Works is stoking a rebellion that is causing my country to split in two. The dissent has become so bad that rebels formed an army. The last time I checked their numbers were around four hundred thousand soldiers. The royal army has six hundred thousand soldiers. When those two armies finally clash there will be heavy casualties for both sides!"

"Here's an idea," Sabo suggested, "Why doesn't your father just give up his crown? No civil war. Arablasta is saved. Problem solved."

"See, it sounds cooler," Luffy pointed out.

"The Nefertari Family has ruled _Alabasta_ for generations!" Vivi told him, " _Thousands_ of years! My father comes from a long line of kind and generous rulers!"

"Sure, _you'd_ think that from living in a palace your whole life, _Princess_ ," Sabo retorted, "But newsflash, there's gotta be something wrong with the way your father runs his country if four hundred _thousand_ people got together to form an army to oust him from power."

"MY FATHER IS A GREAT MAN!" Vivi snapped. "HE HAS DONE NOTHING WRONG!"

"Your father…" Sabo stated, "…is hanging onto an outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in society. You're living in a dictatorship. A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working class—"

" **Zzzzzzz…"** The talk of politics had put Luffy and Zoro to sleep. Luffy was currently drooling all over Sabo's shoulder while Zoro was sleeping flat on his back. Even Nami was nodding off as she rested her chin on her hand.

"It has nothing to do with class!" Vivi argued.

"Of course it does," Sabo insisted, "That's what it's all about. And if there's ever to be any progress—"

"NO IT ISN'T!" Vivi interrupted, "My father was framed! He – Have you ever heard of something called Dance Powder?"

Sabo shrugged, "No. Is it important?" Sabo's movement was enough to jostle Luffy partially awake.

"Yes! It's the main reason the rebellion started!" Vivi told him.

"I've heard of it…" Nami chimed in and stifled a yawn. "Uhh… it's too late for all this political talk… Dance Powder was created long ago by a country with no rain. When it's burnt it emits a mist-like vapor that rises up into the air and speeds up the creation the creation of rain clouds which then create artificial rain. The creators were so happy with the rain that they danced with joy and decided to call it Dance Powder."

"The Navigator's a weather expert," Sabo noted, "I knew there was a reason we kept you around."

"Shut up, I'm not done," Nami growled at him, "There's a downside to the Dance Powder. Because it sped up the maturing process of the rain clouds… the neighboring countries that would have normally received that rain when the clouds naturally matured were deprived. Basically, the Dance Powder steals rain from other countries. It caused a war which had enough casualties that the World Government banned the manufacture and possession of Dance Powder."

"Alabasta is a desert kingdom," Vivi explained, "We never get much rain but there was always some. But then around four years ago it completely stopped. The only place that received any rain was the capital city of Alubarna. One day… there was an accident the port town of Erumalu and a merchant cart spilled its ware… It was carrying Dance Powder. The merchants claimed they were delivering it to my father."

"So Sabo's right!" Luffy blurted out, "Your father's the bad guy!"

"No! He isn't!" Vivi insisted. "He allowed a full search of the palace to be conducted to prove that he wasn't using Dance Powder… but some was found in the cellar."

Sabo opened his mouth but Vivi quickly cut him off, "It was _planted there_ to frame him! The merchants were Baroque Works Agents who staged the accident. And the people who planted the powder were Baroque Works Agents that had infiltrated the Royal Guard. I know this because I came across the three perpetrators while they were discussing their successful mission and were talking about being promoted in their organization. That was the first time that I heard about Baroque Works. I confided with Igaram. He's the Captain of the Alabasta Royal Guard and has looked after me for as long as I can remember. The two us managed to infiltrate Baroque Works and rose through the ranks to become Frontier Agents. Thanks to my new position, I was able to learn about their plans as well as Baroque Works' most well-kept secret… the boss – Mr. 0's true identity."

"Oh, really?" Luffy questioned, "Who is he?"

"I can't tell you that!" Vivi shrieked, "Ask me anything but that! His identity is top secret! They sent assassins with Devil Fruit Powers after me as soon as they learned that I knew it. They'll do the same to you if I tell you. Anyway, now that I know everything about Baroque Works… I can return home and stop the rebellion. I can stop the impending war and no one else will die."

"Yeah, you'd better not tell us about that," Nami reasoned, "That Mr. 0 definitely doesn't sound like someone that I want coming after me."

"Exactly," Vivi said, "You wouldn't stand a chance against the Warlord Sir Crocodile." Everyone froze. Vivi immediately went pale when she realized what she'd just said.

" **Who?"** Zoro inquired he sat up. He'd woken up at the word 'Warlord'.

"Did you just… tell us the thing you weren't supposed to tell us?" Sabo asked. " _Thanks_ Princess…"

Vivi clamped her hands over her mouth while Nami gaped at her in utter shock.

 **Scritch-scritch-scribble-scribble…**

The five of them looked up to see a vulture perched on a nearby building. There was otter on the vulture's back drawing on a large notepad.

"…" the pirates and the princess stared up at the two animals.

"…" the Unluckies stared right back.

Miss Friday flapped her wings and took off with Mr. 13 on her back.

 **WOOOSH!**

Nami ran over to Vivi and grabbed her by the collar, "THE OTTER AND THE VULTURE! WHO ARE THEY? ARE THEY GONNA REPORT US? WELL!?"

"I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!" Vivi whimpered as Nami shook her back and forth, "IT JUST SLIPPED OUT!"

"I'M GONNA HAVE ASSASSINS AND A CRIMINAL ORGANIZATION COMING AFTER ME BECAUSE SOMETHING JUST _SLIPPED OUT_!?" Nami hollered.

"Wow! A Warlord!" Luffy exclaimed, "Hey, we agreed that I get to fight this one!"

"When did we agree to this?" Sabo inquired.

"On the way to Arlong Park," Luffy answered, "Zoro had his fight with Hawk-guy, I called dibs on the next one, and Sanji said he wanted to fight one too."

"Your brother also suggested that you'd probably want a crack at one," Zoro informed him.

"Oh, okay," Sabo agreed, "That's fair. I can… uuhh…" Sabo trailed off when looked over at Nami attempting to strangle the Princess, "uh… wait my turn…"

Nami let Vivi drop limply to the ground and sobbed, "We just entered the Grand Line and we've already got one of the Seven Warlords after us…"

"Uh… Nami…" Sabo called out, "I know you're in the middle of a massive freakout… and I certainly don't want to make you feel any worse… but uh… look down."

Everyone looked down and saw that Nami had lost her skirt again when she'd gone to shake Vivi. Her pale blue 'beri' panties were once again on display. Luffy's eyes bulged and he fell over in shock, Zoro flushed faintly and looked away while Vivi whimpered another apology from the ground.

"Good color choice though," Sabo remarked.

"Oh this is just _perfect_ ," Nami groused as looked over at the skirt she'd left over by her rock. Right now her fear for her life overruled any potential embarrassment. "You know what? SCREW IT! I've had it with haunted rifles, suicidal lunatics and criminal assassins!"

"Wait, she forgot us," Luffy protested.

"I think we're the suicidal lunatics, Luffy," Sabo supplied.

"Oh, okay," Luffy replied.

"KEEP THE SKIRT!" Nami yelled. Still clad in only her shirt, shoes and panties she stomped off, "I QUIT!"

"Nami? Where're you going?" Luffy asked as she went passed him.

"THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT I LOOK LIKE YET!" Nami yelled back, "I'M GETTING AS FAR AWAY AS POSSIBLE FROM YOU NUMBSKULLS!"

"Hey, Sabo, can I walk around without my shorts on?" Luffy requested as he picked up Nami's skirt.

"No, no, you can't," Sabo answered crisply.

"But Nami is!" Luffy pointed out.

" _Nami_ is two seconds away from a nervous breakdown," Sabo countered, "She has an excuse."

 **WOOOSH!**

Miss Friday landed in front of Nami and Mr. 13 showed her the sketches that he'd drawn of her, Luffy, Sabo and Zoro.

Nami put on a big fake smile and applauded the otter. "WOW! Those are so good!" She turned around and screamed at the others, "NOW THERE'S NOWHERE LEFT TO RUN!"

"Holy crap!" Sabo exclaimed, "Did that otter just _draw_ _us_!?"

Nami grumbled furiously to herself as she stalked back over to the Straw Hats.

"Here's your skirt back, Nami," Luffy said as he happily held it out for her.

Nami stopped to snatch her skirt back then beat Luffy over the head with same hand.

 **BONK!**

Nami stepped back into her skirt and hiked it back up then climbed back onto her rock, buried her face in her knees and started sobbing.

Vivi cautiously crept over to the crying pirate and patted her on the back consolingly. "I have five hundred thousand berries saved up… you can have that if you want…"

"Hey Luffy! Check this out!" Sabo instructed from where he was standing facing Mr. 13 and Miss Friday. "This otter can draw! He's an artist!"

"REALLY!?" Luffy asked as he popped back up off the ground.

 **CLICK! CLICK!**

Miss Friday unveiling a double-barreled cannon and trained it on the rifle-wielding pirate.

"Whoa, easy!" Sabo reassured the vulture. "We're cool! We're cool!" Sabo slowly and deliberately crouched down and placed Bonnie Anne on the ground then took a big step away from her while remaining in his low crouch. "Can I see those sketches again?"

Mr. 13 stared warily up at Luffy who was now standing eagerly behind his crouching brother then held up his sketches and fanned them out. The Straw Hats had all been captured in the exactly moment of when Vivi had revealed Mr. 0's identity.

Sketch-Luffy had an eager gleam in his eyes and was grinning like an idiot. His straw hat and the shoulders of his vest had been included in the frame of the sketch.

Sketch-Sabo was giving an annoyed glare (to Vivi). The top of his top hat was cut off but Bonnie Anne was included since Sabo nearly had her pressed against his face while she was propped against his chest.

Sketch-Zoro had his arms folded behind his head and his eyes were only half opened since at that moment he had only just woken up from his politics-induced nap.

Sketch-Nami's eyes had gone wide and her jaw was dropped in horror. It wasn't a flattering sketch but it hadn't been a flattering pose.

"Those are actually _really_ good," Sabo complimented the animal artist, "They look just like us. Hey, can you draw a frame around them like they're wanted posters?"

Mr. 13 reached up with his free paw to raise his sunglasses so he could pointedly narrow his beady black eyes at the pirate's request.

"Yeah, we don't have wanted posters yet!" Luffy chimed in.

The otter shook his head.

"Aw, come on," Sabo pleaded, "You're gonna give those sketches to your bosses so they can kill us." Sabo cupped his hands together, "Please? Think of it as a last request from a doomed man. And besides, don't you want your sketches to look _professional_?"

The otter cocked his head to the side then shrugged. He placed the sketches back on his pad, pulled his pencil back out and started drawing.

 **Skitch-skitch-scribble-scribble-scribble…**

"Oooo! Look at him go!" Luffy cheered.

Mr. 13 eventually turned around his sketches to reveal that he'd drawn a frame around the pictures and had written the word 'WANTED' at the top. Below that the poster said 'Dead' where traditional wanted posters usually said 'dead or alive'

Luffy and Sabo applauded the otter's efforts. "Oooh! That's so cool!"

"Wait… he didn't give us actual bounties…" Sabo pointed out.

Mr. 13 shrugged.

"Say… how'd you like to join our crew?" Sabo inquired. "This guy really wants an Artist."

Mr. 13 shook his head.

"You don't even want to think about it?" Sabo pressed him. "Your friend can come too."

Miss Friday shook her head.

"You make me sad," Sabo sighed.

But Luffy wasn't ready to give up yet, "JOIN US! WE HAVE CRACKERS!"

Mr. 13 once again raised his sunglasses so the two pirates could see him rolling his eyes at them.

"Well, if that's your decision we might as well—" Sabo cut off as he lunged and grabbed Mr. 13. "GOTCHA!"

 **WHAP!**

" **SKREEE!"** Miss Friday let out a loud shriek as she shot forward and slammed into Sabo and swiped his top hat as he fell backwards and bowled over Luffy.

 **WHUMP!**

Miss Friday circled around overhead with Sabo's hat clutched in her talons then swooped down low enough for Mr. 13 to leap up onto her back. Miss Friday flapped her wings and took off into the sky.

 **WHOOSH!**

"HEY! GIMME BACK MY HAT!" Sabo yelled as he scrambled over to Bonnie Anne and aimed her at the vulture that had stolen his top hat. He shook his head and lowered his gun. "Ah hell, I can't shoot 'em… I'd sooner destroy a stained glass window than an artist like him."

"So…" Zoro prompted, "Were you guys _actually_ trying to recruit that monkey… or was that all a desperate hair-brained scheme to try and steal the sketches back?"

"Um… _yes_ ," Sabo lied, "That was my plan all along. Nami was having a nervous breakdown so I tried to solve the problem by getting the sketches back."

"But Sabo… you grabbed the otter… not the sketches," Luffy pointed out.

"Shut it!" Sabo hissed at his loud-mouth brother, "They didn't know that until you blurted it out."

"Either way your plan failed," Zoro chided him, " _And_ the turkey stole your hat."

"Well if you're so smart why don't _you_ come up with a plan then," Sabo retorted.

"Idiots… they're all idiots…" Nami complained. But only Vivi was close enough to hear the hint of fondness in her voice or see that her eyes had dried and that the corners of her mouth had quirked upward in the barest hint of a smile. For that one moment she had forgotten about the impending assassination attempts and had found amusement in the natural comedy that came along with having three crazy morons for Nakama.

" **HAVE NO FEAR! HELP HAS ARRIVED!"**

The Straw Hats and Vivi all turned to see Igaram. But his outfit had drastically changed from the fancy suit they'd seen him in last. He was wearing lipstick and a blue wig braided in a ponytail. His clothes consisted of a dress and a blouse with a spiral pattern sloppily painted over his large stomach and padded 'breasts'. In short, the Captain of the Royal Guard had done a shoddy job at crossdressing as Princess Vivi. He also had four dummies tucked under his arms.

"Well… that's something I can never unsee," Sabo remarked as he stared wide-eyed at 'Igaram'.

"Whoa! That outfit looks really great, mister!" Luffy praised the crossdresser.

"On _who_?" a disturbed Zoro wondered.

"I'm _surrounded_ by idiots…" Nami complained.

* * *

Igaram revealed his plan which was for him to take the Eternal Pose and sail straight to Alabasta as a decoy for the Princess and the four Straw Hats that Baroque Works had identified. He intended to lure Baroque Works off their trail while Vivi sailed with the Straw Hats and took the less direct island-hopping route. Eventually, even Sabo was convinced to go along with the plan.

The four Straw Hats, Vivi and Igaram had gathered on the far shore of Whiskey Peak on the other side of the Cactus Rocks. Igaram had loaded the decoy Straw Hat dummies onto the boat that Vivi had originally been intending to escape on with Carue.

Speaking of Carue…

"Why am _I_ stuck carrying his guy?" Zoro complained as he looked over his shoulder at the huge horse-sized duck strapped to his back.

"Because the ostrich is injured and I'm carrying Bonnie," Sabo replied as he motioned backwards to the rifle that he had strapped his own back.

"That's a cop out and you know it!" Zoro protested.

Meanwhile, Vivi was saying her final goodbyes to Igaram. The Captain of the Royal Guard shook hands with the Princess.

"The journey ahead of you may be dangerous," Igaram warned her, "So please be careful.

"You too, igaram," Vivi replied.

"Farewell Princess," Igaram said, "I have complete confidence that you'll be able to save our kingdom. Take care and may we meet again in our homeland."

Igaram boarded the boat and sailed off as the decoy.

"Aw, he left," Luffy noted, "That guy was funny until the very end."

"I'm sure he'll be fine," Vivi said, "He's always been dependable."

 **KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

The horizon was lit up by a huge fiery explosion.

"HOLY COW!" Sabo exclaimed. "Um… nobody tell Sanji that I said that."

"THEY GOT HIM ALREADY?" Zoro yelped.

"HEY! I LIKED THAT GUY!" Luffy hollered at the horizon.

"…" Vivi stared silently at the massive fire that was burning on the horizon.

"Nami, is your compass-thing ready?" Zoro asked.

"Yeah… the Log's set…" the shaky Navigator answered.

"Then we've gotta get the hell outta here!" Sabo resolved, "Luffy, go grab Usopp and Sanji from the tavern. Zoro, Bonnie and I will hurry ahead to the Going Merry and get her set to sail. Nami…" Sabo trailed off and motioned to Vivi who was still staring in silent shock, "…get the Princess to the Merry."

Luffy, Sabo and Zoro all raced off and left Nami with Vivi.

"Vivi! We have to hurry!" Nami instructed, "if we don't escape now… then Igaram's sacrifice will have been for nothing."

"…" Vivi said nothing as she stared at the horizon struggling not to cry. She'd just seen the person that had taken care of her and looked out for her since she was a child die in a horrific explosion. She struggled not to break down and bit her lip so hard that it started to bleed.

 **Whup!**

Nami pulled the Princess into a hug, "I'll be alright. I _swear_ we'll get you to Alabasta. Those guys… they might not look like much but they saved the East Blue all by themselves. Even a Warlord won't stand a chance against them!

* * *

Eventually they all reunited on the Going Merry and set sail.

"Turn the ship around and head down the river!" Vivi instructed, once the sails were set and the anchor was raised, "That's the fastest way to reach the ocean."

"Hey, what happened to those two?" Nami asked as she looked over at Usopp and Sanji.

"I don't know," Luffy answered, "They were screaming and shouting on the way here. Maybe they went back to sleep?"

"Or… maybe they were knocked unconscious from the way you were _dragging them_ ," Sabo suggested.

"Nah, I don't think that's it," Luffy replied.

"So… how many enemies are going to be coming after us?" Zoro inquired.

"I can't say for sure," Vivi admitted, "Baroque Works has two thousand employees. There are more towns like Whiskey Peak that are filled with Millions. One of them is called Renaisse…"

"So you mean we could have _a_ _thousand_ people coming after us?" Nami asked as she held up her skirt with her hand.

"It's possible…" Vivi confessed, "Knowing the boss' secret is a very series crime. There's no telling how much effort they'll put in to keeping it quiet."

"Well… the sun's already starting to rise… it's almost morning…" Sabo pointed out, "Which means the only sleep was got was from when we were drugged." He shook his head, "I guess all those stories about the Grand Line being the big time were true."

" **And all this fog is really dangerous,"** a woman observed, **"You'll have to be careful not to crash the ship into the rocks by the shore."**

The pirates and the princess all whirled around to see a dark haired woman sitting on the railing outside the galley. She wore a purple cowgirl hat, a matching laced up corset vest and skirt as well as a pair of purple high heeled boots.

"Hello," she casually greeted them, "This ship is nice."

"WHO'S THAT!?" Nami shrieked.

"I must tell you, Miss Wednesday," the mystery woman addressed the princess, "I met up with your friend Mr. 8 a little while ago."

"Does that mean… you…" Vivi stammered.

"HEY! WHAT'RE YOU DOING ON MY SHIP?" Luffy demanded.

"ANSWER HIM!" Vivi shouted, "What are you doing all the way out here, MISS ALL SUNDAY?"

"Wait… wait… you said that name before," Sabo realized as he tried to recall where.

"She's only the highest ranking agent is Baroque Works short of the boss!" Vivi exclaimed, "She's Mr. 0's partner and is the only one in the organization that knows his true identity. That's why Igaram and I followed her…"

"Well… _technically_ I _let you_ follow me," Miss All Sunday corrected her.

"So she's a good guy?" Luffy questioned.

"I know that!" Vivi snapped. "And I bet you're the one who told him that we knew."

"Oh… then she's a bad guy," Luffy decided.

"WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING AT?" Vivi demanded.

"Now, now, there's no need to get so riled up," Miss All Sunday reassured her, "I only let you follow me because you looked so desperate. It was too amusing not allow it to play out. A single princess foolishly thinks that she can take on the entire organization of Baroque Works to save her kingdom."

" _Take care and may we meet again in our homeland."_

Vivi glared furiously at Igaram's murderer and yelled, "DON'T UNDERESTIMATE ME!"

 **Click!**

At Vivi's shout, the Straw Hats were suddenly armed. Sabo had Bonnie Anne aimed at Miss All Sunday while Zoro drew a sword. Usopp and Sanji had woken up and were standing on the landing outside the galley on either side of the mysterious woman with a slingshot and a pistol aimed at her respectively. Nami glanced down at her skirt and decided to let the boys handle this.

"Do you have any idea what's going on?" Usopp asked.

"No," Sanji admitted, "But anyone that causes my dear Miss Wednesday distress will face my wrath."

"Hey! Sanji!" Sabo called out, "Since when do you use a pistol?"

"I bought it in Loguetown," Sanji answered. "Since you and your rifle were so successful on Commi Island is decided to get a gun of my own."

"Something tells me he's not talking about Sabo's success during the battle," Nami grumbled.

"Do you have any self-respect?" Zoro berated him, "You got a gun to pick up women?"

"Well… that _was_ the plan…" Sanji admitted, "But now I've realized that my target is a beautiful woman… I don't know if I could ever bring myself to pull the trigger."

"I appreciate that," Miss All Sunday remarked, "But all the same… I would appreciate it more if you wouldn't point such dangerous weapons at me."

 **WHUP!**

Usopp and Sanji were suddenly shoved by an invisible force and went flying over the railing.

 **KLAK-KLAK!**

 _Wado Ichimonji_ and Bonnie Anne hit the ground. But the rifle fired on contact with the deck.

 **KER-CHOW!**

Miss All Sunday's blue eyes widened when she felt the bullet whiz over her head and tear through the top of her cowgirl hat.

"Take that! Scary person!" Usopp exclaimed as he scrambled over to Sabo and hid behind him, "We've got a rifle!" He leaned down and whispered, "Nice going, Bonnie."

Sabo stood over Bonnie Anne with his arms crossed, "That was a warning shot. You get one. Now as much as I enjoy seeing the Princess agitated… why don't you tell us what you're doing on our ship?"

Miss All Sunday reached up and plucked her hat off of her head. She frowned as she eyed the large bullet hole going through the top. "That was rude. This was my favorite hat."

"Oh, my apologies," Sabo drawled, "I'll be sure to welcome you properly the next time you decide to _stowaway_ on our ship! Answer the question, Baroque Works, what're you doing here?"

"Well… I _was_ going to give you this," Miss All Sunday stated as she held out her hand.

 **Whap!**

A glass ball dropped into it from overhead.

"This is the Eternal Pose to a vacant island right before Alabasta," Miss All Sunday explained. "It's uninhabited and our agents don't know about it. It's a much safer journey than the one you're on."

"Why would you give us that?" Nami wondered.

"I said I _was_ going to give it to you," Miss All Sunday repeated, "After that rude reception… I've decided against it." Miss All Sunday placed the Eternal Pose in her ruined hat then spun and tossed them both off the side of the Going Merry. "Now you'll just have to try your luck on Little Garden."

"GOOD! KEEP YOUR THINGY!" Luffy told her, "WE DON'T NEED IT! YOU DON'T DECIDE OUR COURSE!"

"And that would make _you_ the Captain Straw Hat Luffy," Miss All Sunday reasoned as she motioned to Luffy and then Sabo, "And _you_ Quartermaster Sabo. I remember reading about you in yesterday's paper. The fact that you're siding with the Princess against our organization is a _professional_ conflict. But I also have a _personal_ grievance with you two."

"What did I miss?" Sanji wondered, "And what did you bastards do to that woman?"

"I dunno," Luffy replied, "We just met her. I think she's lying."

 **Snap!**

Miss All Sunday snapped her fingers and Miss Friday suddenly flew in with Mr. 13 on her back and landed on the roof of the galley in front of Nami's tangerine patch. Mr. 13 was holding Sabo's top hat.

"You two attempted to turn my pets against our organization," Miss All Sunday scolded them. "I spent _years_ training them to carry out their duties. I don't appreciate you trying to steal them."

"Did you see the Wanted Poster sketches that your otter did of us?" Sabo countered, "Why _wouldn't_ we want him?"

Miss All Sunday looked back at the Unluckies and held out her hand. Mr. 13 pulled the sketches out from Sabo's top hat and tossed them to Miss All Sunday. "Oh, he really did make wanted posters for you."

"Yeah but they didn't include bounties," Luffy grumbled, "Rip-off."

"I'm afraid I never got around to teaching them math," Miss All Sunday admitted.

"Can _you_ give us bounties?" Sabo requested.

"Bounties! Bounties!" Luffy cheered, "What's the point of being wanted if you're not worth something?"

"If anyone's qualified to place a bounty I think it would be the boss' partner…" Sabo pointed out.

"Are we really wasting our time with this?" Vivi objected.

"Quiet… they're distracting her," Zoro whispered. Vivi, Nami and Usopp all stared at him in surprise. "You saw what happened to the decoy. And we all saw how easily she disarmed us. I'd bet my life that she has Devil Fruit Powers of some kind. But we have no idea what they are so we have no way to stop her if she decides she wants to blow us up like she did with the crossdresser. Keep quiet and don't provoke her."

"I like this plan!" Usopp whimpered as he continued to hide behind Sabo. "Let's not provoke the scary lady with the mysterious powers."

"Oh look," Miss All Sunday pointed out as she turned one of the sketches around to show a number of doodles. "The Unluckies kept track of your activities tonight. If I use these I should be able to come up with a price for your heads."

"YEAAAAH!" Luffy cheered, "BOUNTY!"

"You're too loud," Miss All Sunday scolded him, "So now you're going last. Stand there and wait patiently or you won't get one."

Luffy visibly deflated and stood straight. But there was no hiding the giddy smile on his face.

"Wow… she handles Luffy better than you do," Usopp noted as he peered out from behind Sabo.

"She's treating him like a child," Sabo countered, "He's my brother so naturally I'm gonna try to look after him and keep him from doing anything overly dangerous and stupid. But when I let him run wild it's because I don't doubt for one second that he's the _man_ who will become King of the Pirates."

Miss All Sunday raised an eyebrow and glanced over at Luffy who was still eagerly awaiting his bounty. She casually flipped over the first sketch and studied the doodles Mr. 13 had drawn of Miss Monday, Igaram and some crudely drawn bounty hunters and the word 'ALL' written next to them.

"Let's see, first we have 'Pirate Hunter' Roronoa Zoro," Miss All Sunday announced as she turned the sketch over. Zoro's eyes widened at the fact that the mystery woman knew his full name. "You declined our initial invitation to join Baroque Works by killing our original Mr. 7. And tonight you defeated one hundred of our Millions along with Miss Monday and Mr. 8. I'll give you five million for each Frontier Agent and three million for the hundred Millions. That gives you a grand total of eighteen million berries." Miss All Sunday smiled and turned around the completed Baroque Works Wanted Poster.

WANTED DEAD: 'PIRATE HUNTER' RORONOA ZORO 18,000,000 BERRIES

"Not bad," Sanji remarked, "That's bigger than Don Krieg's."

"I'll take it," Zoro decided.

"Next… is Quartermaster Sabo…" Miss All Sunday continued, "Hmm… Do you have a preferred nickname I should use?"

"Dandy Man!" "Noble Pirate!" Nami and Zoro answered at the same time.

"You can call me anything you want if you give me my hat back," Sabo proposed.

"No, I believe I'll keep it," Miss All Sunday refused, "a hat for a hat."

"You lost your hat because your boarded our ship without permission," Sabo argued.

"You also tried to kidnap my otter," Miss All Sunday countered.

"Do _know_ what he can do!" Sabo exclaimed, "Can you really blame me? He's awesome!" Sabo sighed then hung his head to look properly apologetic, "I'm sorry I tried to steal your otter… please forgive me. Plus, that hat doesn't even fit your style."

"I suppose you're right," Miss All Sunday conceded, "That'll do." She nodded to Mr. 13 who tossed the top hat back to Sabo who caught it, flipped it over his hand and put it back on. "Now then… _Noble Pirate_ Sabo _…_ "

Zoro smirked pointedly at Nami while Sabo grimaced but managed to hold his tongue.

"Tonight you defeated Mr. 9, Miss Wednesday and Miss Valentine," Miss All Sunday casually recounted, "That's five for each Frontier Agent and _ten_ for an Officer Agent with Devil Fruit Powers. You also attempted to turn my pet, Mr. 13, against the organization. That'll count for another three million."

WANTED DEAD: 'NOBLE PIRATE' SABO 23,000,000 BERRIES

"HAH!" Sabo gloated to Zoro, "Whose plan failed now? Rifle beats swords!"

Miss All Sunday seemed amused by the competitive banter and quietly sighed to herself and her pets, " _Boys_ , they're always comparing sizes and trying to see how much they measure up."

"HOLD ON!" Zoro objected, "I beat a hundred bounty hunters! How does sweet talking an ugly monkey count for the same amount?"

Miss All Sunday glared at him, "Did you miss the part where I said I taught him how to sketch? I spent an entire year training the Unluckies to be proper messengers. They're irreplaceable assets to our organization and I consider it a personal affront that he attempted to undermine all of my hard work. Now, you called my adorable pet 'an ugly monkey'… want me to lower your bounty to sixteen million?"

"No…" Zoro conceded. He folded his arms across his chest grumpily and had been suitably chastised.

"What happened to not drawing attention to yourself?" Nami reprimanded him. But that just drew the woman's attention to her.

"I'm sorry, dear," Miss All Sunday said as she held up the sketch that depicted a terrified Nami, "but I don't know your name."

"And you're not getting it!" Nami insisted, "I don't want a bounty! Tear that sketch up and I'll be happy!"

"That's not how this works," Miss All Sunday replied with a shake of her head, "Our organization wants you dead whether you like it or not. And if you don't tell me your name I'll just have to make one up. How does 'Kitty' sound to you?"

Luffy, who had been bouncing on the balls of his feet impatiently waiting his turn, blurted out, "She's our Navigator, Nami! She used to be a pirate thief!"

"DON'T TELL HER THAT, YOU BLOCKHEAD!" Nami ran over and hit him over head.

 **BONK!**

"Hmm… the only person you beat was your own Quartermaster," Miss All Sunday noted as she eyed the doodles on the back of Nami's 'poster', "But you _did_ steal all the money our agents had collected… and you have very cute taste in underwear."

"THEY PUT THAT?" Nami shrieked and shook her fist angrily at Mr. 13, "PERVERT OTTER!"

"No…" Miss All Sunday calmly replied, "You lost your skirt when you hit your Captain over the head."

Almost everyone looked down to see that Nami's pale blue beri sign panties were once again on display.

 **SPLURT!**

Usopp and Sanji were sent flying from sudden nosebleeds. Sabo and Zoro quickly averted their eyes while Vivi was still silently glaring daggers at Miss All Sunday. Luffy hadn't even looked down.

"NOT AGAIN!" Nami screamed and yanked her skirt up then clubbed Luffy over the head again.

 **BONK!**

"What'd you hit _him_ for?" Sabo asked.

"He was closest," Nami hissed still red in the face. "But there's a kick coming with Bonnie's name on it."

Miss All Sunday looked back at the Unluckies, "You're right. That temper of hers is very scary. I'll give you nine million berries… and that's being generous."

WANTED DEAD: 'CATBURGLAR' NAMI 9,000,000 BERRIES

"My turn! My turn!" Luffy chanted eagerly as he popped back up off of the deck.

"Yes, thank you for waiting," Miss All Sunday acknowledged him, "'Straw Hat' Monkey D. Luffy. You're the Captain of the crew and beat all the big name pirates in the East Blue. That's good for ten million berries since this is a Baroque Works Wanted Poster and they have nothing to do with our organization. And tonight you beat Mr. 5."

"Who's Mr. 5?" Luffy asked.

"The guy you punched in the face," Sabo informed him.

"He was also a Devil Fruit Powered Officer Agent so that'll give you an additional ten million berries," Miss All Sunday continued, "Hmm… but that's only twenty million… a proper Captain should have the highest bounty on his crew…" Miss All Sunday stared down at Luffy curiously and crossed her arms over her chest then called out, "SEIS FLEUR!"

"WAH!" Luffy yelped in alarm as six arms suddenly sprouted out of nowhere. Two came out of the deck and grabbed his feet while four others grew out of Luffy himself and grabbed his shoulders and sides.

"CLUTCH!" The arms on Luffy's body wrenched backward with enough combined strength to break a normal man's back.

 **WOING!**

But Luffy was made of rubber so his spine remained intact even when the arms bent him all the way back until his head was touching the deck.

 **Ploom!**

There was a flutter of flower petals and the arms disappeared just as quickly as they had appeared. Luffy dropped to the ground in surprise while everyone else stared in shock. The failed attack had been so sudden and that no one had any time to react. Not even Nami who had been right next to the Captain.

"Fufufu…" Miss All Sunday chuckled softly, "You have Devil Fruit Powers too… now that's interesting."

"Yeah," Luffy replied as he scrambled back up, "I ate the Gum Gum Fruit and became a Rubber Man. What about you?"

Miss All Sunday decided to humor him and answered, "I ate the Flower Flower Fruit when I was a girl. My powers allow me to sprout any part of my body anywhere at any time." She demonstrated her ability by holding up her arm an sprout other arms out of her elbow until they fanned all the way around it like flower petals.

"COOOOOL!" Luffy exclaimed.

"So that's how she disarmed us so easily," Zoro realized.

"Wow," Sabo remarked, "You must've had a lot of fun growing up with those powers."

" _GET AWAY, MONSTER!"_

" _THAT GIRL'S A FREAK!"_

Miss All Sunday sighed softly, "Not as much as you might think." She shook her head and changed the subject, "I'll give you another ten million berries for the Devil Fruit Powers. So that brings you to thirty million."

WANTED DEAD: 'STRAW HAT' MONKEY D. LUFFY 30,000,000 BERRIES

"AAAAWEEESOOOOMEEE!" Luffy cheered.

"That brings us to a grand total of eighty million berries for the pirates," Miss All Sunday concluded. "I'm sure Crocodile can afford it. And that's impressive enough to send a high-ranking Officer Agent after you."

"WAIT! HOLD ON!" Sanji protested, "What about me?"

"And me?" Usopp chimed in hopefully.

"I'm sorry, who are you?" Miss All Sunday inquired.

"I'm Sanji: Ship's Cook Extraordainaire and lover of beautiful women like yourself."

"And I'm Usopp," Usopp added, "A Brave Warrior of the Sea!"

"Don't tell her that, you idiots!" Nami scolded them.

Miss All Sunday looked back at the Unluckies again but the otter and vulture merely shrugged.

"I'm sorry but my pets don't appear to have a record of you two doing anything tonight."

"What?" Sanji complained, "You gave those other three big bounties! You've gotta give me _something_!"

Miss All Sunday gave him a stern glare. "You have to earn a bounty and you two haven't. You fell for the Welcome Banquet trick and just woke up now on the ship. You completely missed any chance to fight and you were knocked out again by the sight of your Navigator's panties. So you get _nothing_. You lose. Good day, sirs."

Sanji and Usopp visibly sagged from the harsh dressing down, "She's as beautiful as she is cruel…"

"Geez… you can have mine if it means so much to you," Nami told them.

Sabo reached out and patted the depressed duo on the back, "Don't worry, that just means you guys are our trump cards. Any enemies that we encounter won't know what to expect when they face you. That'll give you guys a chance to beat them and earn Baroque Works Bounties for yourselves."

Usopp and Sanji perked back up, "YEAH! They'll never see me coming! I'm Usopp the Wild Card!"

"Wait for me, beautiful!" Sanji called out to Miss All Sunday, "You'll hear my name soon enough!"

Miss All Sunday smiled, "I'll keep my eyes and ears open then."

 **Skitch-skitch-scribble…**

Mr. 13 tossed Miss All Sunday another sketch Wanted Poster. "Oh, thank you." This one included an angrily glaring Vivi. "We saved the best for last… Princess," Miss All Sunday announced. Everyone turned to look back at Vivi who had been silently glaring at Miss All Sunday since she started with the Baroque Works Bounties. "You infiltrated our organization, spied on us for three years, betrayed the organization and caused two Frontier Agents to defect while they defended you. During your traitorous tenure you learned Mr. 0's secret identity and then revealed it to these pirates. That puts you at the very top of our hit list."

WANTED DEAD: 'MISS WEDNESDAY' NEFERTARI VIVI 50,000,000 BERRIES

Being addressed directly finally made the Princess to break her silence, "IS THIS A JOKE TO ALL OF YOU? SHE KILLED IGARAM! SHE'S PART OF THE ORGANIZATION TRYING TO DESTROY MY COUNTRY!"

"Yes but she's also the reason you learned Mr. 0 true identity," Sabo pointed out, " _And_ she gave us cool bounties… _and_ unlike the other Baroque Works Agent on this ship who will remain nameless she hasn't tried to kill me despite the fact that Bonne used her last bullet ruining her favorite hat."

"The Princess does have a point though," Miss All Sunday admitted. "I _am_ your enemy. I plan to distribute these to another pair of Officer Agents so that they can kill you. Maybe Mr. 3, he's always had a wonderful taste for dramatic flair when eliminating targets."

"You mean we can't keep them and put them on the fridge?" Sabo asked.

"I'll tell you what," Miss All Sunday offered, "If you beat our Officer Agents and manage to find these posters that they were using… you can do whatever you want with them."

"Great! Thanks!" Sabo replied.

Zoro looked over at Sabo, "You do realize that we could've done that anyway, right?"

"Yeah, but it's always polite to ask first," Sabo informed him.

"Well I've taken up enough of your time," Miss All Sunday decided, "I admire your optimism but you have a dangerous journey ahead of you. Your first stop is an island called Little Garden. There are disease carrying bugs, enormous animals and numerous other monsters that can kill you in a hundred different ways."

"EEEP!" Nami and Usopp both shrieked in terror while Luffy and Sabo stuck their fingers in their ears.

"HEY! No spoilers!" Sabo complained.

"Anyway, it's a lovely place…" Miss All Sunday continued, "But it's also very likely that you'll all die there. But if you're lucky… some of you will survive and make it to Alabasta. Maybe I'll see you then."

"We're calling it Arablasta 'cause it sounds cooler," Luffy told her. Vivi twitched in annoyance.

Mr. 13 hopped on Miss Friday's back and the vulture took off and flew away. Miss All Sunday stood up and calmly walked over to the railing then leapt over it onto the back of a turtle half the size of the Going Merry.

"Let's go, Bunchi!" Miss All Sunday called out to the turtle who swam off.

"WHOA! A TURTLE!" Luffy exclaimed as he and Usopp ran to the railing.

"Goodbye, Straw Hat Pirates," Miss All Sunday said with a final wave, "If you die I'll try to use your Wanted Posters for your obituaries."

Vivi dropped to her knees and signed, "I just wish I knew what her end game was…"

"Don't waste time worrying about it," Nami advised.

"We're used to scheming women around here," Zoro stated, "And at least we know about her powers."

"Aaah, there goes a mysterious woman," Sanji swooned once Bunchi was finally out of sight. Then the Ship's Cook turned to the others, "Now does someone want to tell me what the hell I missed?

* * *

Thank you, Robin! The Straw Hats now have bounties… well, Baroque Works Bounties at least. And yes, Robin quoted Gene Wilder's Willy Wonka. It's a little late for a tribute but I felt that it fit the scene. I wanted to have some extra fun with Robin's Brother on Board debut so that's how it turned out.

I fully believe that Robin was responsible for training the Unluckies. Do you honestly think that Crocodile would waste his time training an otter and a vulture? He had to keep up his public appearances as a Warlord. Nico Robin manages Crocodile's casino and had nothing but time on her many hands while she acted as his glorified secretary and waited for them to get closer to the Poneglyph. The 'direct orders' from the boss that the Unluckies relay could just as easily be from his partner/Vice President. Plus, Friday the 13th has an ominous connotation for being bad luck and that just screams 'Robin'.

The Brother on Board TV Tropes page has grown substantially since I mentioned it back in chapter 24. Thank you to everyone that has edited and added to the page since then. An extra thank you goes out to my buddy rasEnshur1Ken who added the 'Funny' page to it. Anyone with a TV Tropes account that laughed at some point while reading this story can feel free to add the moment that made them 'LOL'. This will actually be very useful to me because it'll help me gauge my audience's sense of humor.

By the way, I'm going to be taking a week off in between arcs. So I'll post the first Little Garden chapter on October 17th. I hope to see/hear from you all then!

Silver signing off


	28. Little Garden

_**BROTHER ON BOARD**_

Girlbook - We'll eventually learn Bonnie's reason for sparing Vivi. The truth is it was more for Sabo than Vivi. Sabo and Vivi's relationship will be rather complicated and Vivi spends a large part of this chapter trying to mend things between them.

TheREALMightyKamina - Personally I like the Blasta bit. It sounds like an attack. We'll be seeing the Unluckies again at the end of this arc. Be careful Sanji... Nico Robin may not forgive you if you hurt her pets.

zack25king - Yup, I'm back! I'm trying to write Sabo as a better fleshed out character. He has flaws. And this chapter you'll relearn the cause of those flaws. Hopefully his time with Vivi will make him a better, more understanding person.

duaba - Wow! One sitting? Some of these chapters are pretty long so color me impressed. I tried to get the most out of the Robin scene since it'll be a while before we see her again.

Psychochiken - Keep in mind Bonnie was on the ground. So that limits her target area. She swore to Nojiko that she'd look after Nami so since Bonnie can't hurt her that made embarrassing her the best alternative.

The Patient One - Hold those first thoughts until the end of next chapter. I think Buggy is still calling his alliance 'Buggy Crew and Friends'. I have thought about a Moria plot-line for Bonnie but he's not the actual cause of her condition. I don't think anyone is going to see the reveal about Bonnie's condition coming.

rasEnshur1KEn - Thanks again for adding so much to the page. I'm trying for an even split between Dandy Man and Noble Pirate. Nami got Vivi to call Sabo 'Dandy Man' and Zoro got Robin to call him 'Noble Pirate'. This will continue until I notice one of the two taking off more so than the other. Yeah, Sanji's gun was just a weird thing that was there one moment then it was gone and never mentioned again. I doubt you'll be seeing much of it in my version either but at least I gave a reason for it.

Bluejay Blaze - I don't consider it sad that you know Princess Bride that well. But I may be biased since I'm the one who quoted it. I put in my shout outs so that people who get the references can enjoy them. Now I just hope that someone can publicly acknowledge my Monty Python references.

BedofRoses1989 - I focused on making her calm and curious with a splash of depressing loneliness. I also made sure to include her quirky fondness for deadly animals and the occasional morbid comment.

Miqila - Sabo and Robin? We never saw much of a relationship between them in canon. She seemed closer with Koala. I assume Robin knew of Sabo since they were Revolutionaries together for two years. But I can't imagine they're overly close if Sabo never mentioned being Luffy's brother. Otherwise I think Robin would have told her captain that his brother was alive.

Fairy of the Friz - Robin has led a dark and lonely life. Having the Unluckies with her on her new crew might make it slightly better.

starelight - Did you notice the pun about Nami's 'undies'? They were blue with a berri sign. Blue berri = blueberry. It seemed funnier than pinkberry so I went with Nami's manga outfit instead of the pink and black 'MODE' outfit from the anime.

Guest - Robin could probably be persuaded to update the Straw Hats' bounties once she joins the crew.

Guest - Thanks. Glad you liked my version of her.

The Keeper of Worlds - I'm not going to give anything away but we _do_ have the debut of Miss Goldenweek in the scene below. It's even written from her perspective for some extra fun. Hopefully Wapol doesn't ruin all of the headway that Vivi manages to make in her self appointed task of repairing Sabo's grim view of nobles.

NightFlowerLUV - Yay! You're caught up! Now I can respond. Thanks for writing all those reviews as you worked your way through the story. Vivi is the key to Sabo eventually 'getting over himself'. But that will be an ongoing process over the course of this arc. And stay tuned for the Alabasta Arc, I think you'll like what I do with Smoker and Tashigi.

 **A/N - Okay so a large portion of this chapter is dedicated to the Sabo-Vivi relationship and Vivi's attempts to make peace with the stubborn royal-hating Quartermaster. I realize that it takes the focus away from other things like the giant fight but this was an opportunity to give Sabo some important character development before Mr. 3 gets involved. I made the most of it.**

* * *

 **Little Garden-**

"Mr. 3!" a girl called out on a holiday resort somewhere in the Grand Line.

"Hold on a minute," a man replied as he calmly sipped a steaming cup of tea, "Ah, when it comes to black tea there's nothing better than Earl Grey."

"I'm bored."

"You say you're bored… but you don't like working," the man known as Mr. 3 replied.

"Yup," the girl known as Miss Goldenweek agreed. Working sucked. But doing nothing was boring.

"We're at this resort on vacation," Mr. 3 reminded his partner, "Why can't you relax and enjoy this blissful downtime while it lasts? Leisurely enjoying a break is a privilege that only Officer Agents of our stature are awarded. You never know when our next assignment will come in."

"…" He had a point. Miss Goldenweek silently glanced down at a pile of papers on the table. Hmm… as much as she hated being bored… pointing them out would mean going back to work. It hardly seemed worth the effort. Mr. 3 would notice eventually.

"Also, I would appreciate it if you wouldn't refer to me by my codename in public," Mr. 3 requested. "Otherwise people will find out I'm Mr. 3."

"…" Miss Goldenweek blinked and looked up at the top knot on the man's head. It was braided to look like a '3'. "if you say so…"

"By the way, you've been staring at those papers for a while now," Mr. 3 noted, "What are they?"

Cat's out of the bag. "Orders from the boss. Miss Friday dropped them off."

"WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING SOONER!?" Mr. 3 shouted as he snatched the stack off of the table. He calmed down and read them over. "Hm… it seems Mr. 5 has been defeated. That's hardly surprising. He's a ruffian that clings to his Devil Fruit Powers without any skill. Why couldn't it have been Mr. 2?"

"Then you'd get a promotion," Miss Goldenweek noted. Ew. A promotion would mean _more_ _work_.

"The Princess of Alabasta has teamed up with some pirates to go against our organization," Mr. 3 noted. "Our boss has even put bounties on all of their heads and tasked us personally with eliminating them. Hmmhmm… what a fortuitous circumstance that is been presented to us. What do you think?"

Miss Goldenweek peered over the thin man's shoulder and eyed the sketch of a dark haired young man with a wide smile and a scar under his right eye wearing a straw hat. It was Mr. 13's work.

"Amateurish," Miss Goldenweek stated, "It's probably an accurate depiction but he needs to work on his shading and form otherwise they'll always look flat and lifeless."

Mr. 3 glared at her in annoyance. "Not the sketches! The pirates!"

"Oh…" she shrugged. "I don't care about that." She tried not to get too attached to any of the people that Mr. 3 killed. She always ended up feeling icky afterwards.

"The superior criminal doesn't rely solely on his Devil Fruit Powers," Mr. 3 lectured his young partner, "He instead utilizes the power of his superior intelligence to carry out his objectives. Why don't we go and teach them the terror of antagonizing our organization."

* * *

"… _At long last love has arrived_

 _And I thank God I'm alive_

 _You're just too good to be true_

 _Can't take my eyes off of you…"_

Sabo held Bonnie close and finished singing a familiar song as he slow danced with his girlfriend in the anchor room of the Going Merry on the way to Little Garden. His blue coat, black waistcoat and top hat were all draped over the capstand leaving him in his white collared shirt, beige pants and black boots. He was lost in his own world. All that existed was him and the rifle in his arms.

At least that was the case until someone made the mistake of intruding on the private moment and shattered the illusion.

" **That was beautiful. But didn't your brother say you were still looking for a musician?"**

Sabo whirled around and glared at Vivi who was suddenly a lot more nervous as she stood in the open doorway. "Get out!"

Vivi flinched then raised her hands in placating manner, "I'm sorry for interrupting. But I didn't know that you could sing. And that song was very pretty… I couldn't help myself…"

"For your information, _Princess_ …" Sabo stated crisply, "We _are_ still looking for a musician. That song was by this Valli-guy that Bonnie and I saw on our first date. It's _our_ song. I'd never sing it for anyone else. You may be used to having free rein to do whatever you wanted while you lived in your palace, _Princess_ , but when you're on this ship you'll respect our privacy. If you see my tie wrapped around the door that means stay out."

"Tie?" Vivi repeated as she leaned back out of the doorway and spotted the bit of white cloth tied around the door handle. "Oh… I didn't realize that's what that was."

"It means _stay out_ ," Sabo reiterated, "And it goes double for you, _Princess_."

Vivi couldn't help flinching every time the Quartermaster referred to her as 'Princess'. When he said it, her title sounded like an insult.

"Look… the singing was one thing," Vivi replied, "But I really came here because I want to make peace. I've been on your ship for two days now and there's still animosity between the two of us. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable on your own ship. You can feel free to call me 'Vivi' like the others do."

"Oh, can I?" Sabo asked, "That's awfully kind of you, _Princess_. But you are of royal blood and I am just a common pirate. I should treat you with all the due _respect_ that your station deserves."

Vivi knew that the word 'respect' in this particular situation actually meant 'disdain'.

"Okay… this needs to stop," Vivi resolved, "You clearly have issues with royalty. I don't know what they are but you're taking them all out on me. We need to settle this if we're to have any hope of getting along and coexisting on this ship."

"Fine then," Sabo replied, "Nobles, royals, World Nobles, you all live your pampered little lives and apparently because you were born that inherently makes you better than everyone else and that you deserve special treatment."

"My father always insisted that we were servants of the people," Vivi told him.

"Oh please," Sabo scoffed, "Servants don't live in palaces. And they don't keep slaves."

"MY FAMILY HAS _NEVER_ OWNED SLAVES!" Vivi vehemently objected.

"No slaves, huh?" Sabo questioned, "Then answer me this, _Princess_ : who built your palace? I highly doubt that your royal ancestors were out there with picks and chisels building it themselves."

"I… the Royal Palace was constructed _four thousand_ years ago!" Vivi protested, "You're talking about ancient history! Those were extremely different times. The Nefertari Family has only been ruling Alabasta for twelve generations. What I _can_ assure you is that my ancestor Nefertari Elapidae, the first King from the Nefertari line was the one to abolish the practice of keeping slaves in my country. And if you want to talk about the past, eight hundred years ago, Alabasta was one of the original twenty kingdoms that came together to form the World Government."

Sabo's eyes narrowed and he tightened his grip on Bonnie Anne, "Then that would mean… your father… is one of the Celestial Dragons…"

"No! He isn't!" Vivi assured him, "The reigning King, Nefertari Taipan, was _offered_ a place at Mariejois and the status as a World Noble along with the other Kings. But he _refused_! He insisted that the royal family belonged in Alabasta so that they could better govern their country and serve its people."

Sabo loosened his grip on Bonnie Anne, "Okay, fine, I'll concede the fact that your family took the high road and maybe I have a smidgen of respect for your ancestors now. But that doesn't change the fact that Alabasta was one of twenty kingdoms. Your ancestor refused but the other nineteen accepted. The World Government has since expanded to include one hundred seventy different kingdoms. If we keep to that one-in-twenty ratio you're looking at nine – you know what? I'll be generous – _ten_ rulers that share your family's ideals. You're in the vast minority, _Princess_."

"I won't deny that _some_ Kings are the selfish tyrants that you describe," Vivi relented, "But if you keep your closed-minded views and hate all royalty and nobles indiscriminately then you'll blind yourself to the good rulers that are truly trying to help their country. You're intentionally distorting things and looking at them in the worst way possible."

"Oh, am I?" Sabo asked. "Then let's move on from the past. Let's talk about the present. Let's talk about you, _Princess_. We've established that your family doesn't keep slaves. But that doesn't change that fact that you still have servants to cater to your whims. Take your pal with the rollers for example." Vivi went stiff and her hands clenched at the mention of Igaram. "What was his official position? The Captain of the Royal Guard, right? That means he and all the other men under his command are at the palace to guard the royalty. Common people don't have guards. Apparently your life is worth more than theirs."

"HIS NAME WAS _IGARAM_!" Vivi snapped, "HE WAS LIKE AN OVERPROTECTIVE UNCLE TO ME SINCE THE DAY I WAS BORN! HE _DIED_ SO THAT WE COULD ESCAPE BAROQUE WORKS AT WHISKEY PEAK! I WON'T LET YOUR STUBBORN IGNORANCE MAKE LIGHT OF HIS SACRIFICE AND TARNISH HIS GOOD NAME!"

Sabo flinched and raised his hands in surrender, "Okay, okay… that one was a low blow. I'll take it back. Um… how about your cook? I bet you a have a personal chef that cooks your meals for you."

"Terracotta?" Vivi quietly questioned, "She is… was… Igaram's wife…"

"OH, COME ON!" Sabo objected, "How the heck am I supposed to know that!? The point is that they both work for you!"

"Yes… and we give them free accommodations in the palace and a generous salary," Vivi informed him.

"Ah-ha!" Sabo exclaimed, "And where does that salary come from? Your people's taxes. You exploit the working-class members of your so-called beloved country so that you can live in luxury."

"It… it takes money to run a country," Vivi insisted.

"And that includes paying servants to cook and cater to you," Sabo retorted.

"What would you have us do?" Vivi countered, "Starve? Not pay them? That's called slavery. And we've already discussed that it's a practice my family refuses to take part in. When the drought started three years ago… my father enacted multiple tax cuts. He knows these are trying times for the country so he only asks for the bare minimum."

"And that bare minimum comes from _how many_ thousand people?" Sabo inquired.

" **OI! STOP BEING A HYPOCRITE!"** Zoro shouted from outside, **"** ** _YOU'RE_** **A NOBLE,** ** _NOBLE PIRATE_** **!"**

Vivi folded her arms across her chest and gave Sabo a hard stare.

"QUIT EAVESDROPPING, YA NOSY BASTARD!" Sabo shouted back.

" **WHO'S NOSY? I'M TRYING TO SLEEP ON MY NEW FEATHERED PILLOW BUT I CAN'T BECAUSE** ** _YOU TWO_** **KEEP SHOUTING!"**

Sabo brushed passed Vivi out of the anchor room and spotted Zoro lying near the railing with a mostly recovered Carue serving as his makeshift pillow.

But the Boatswain wasn't the only Straw Hat whose attention Sabo and Vivi's argument had drawn. Usopp was looking down from the crow's nest, Sanji was leaning against the open doorway to the galley, Nami had abandoned the map she'd been drawing in her room and was propped against the storage room door, and even Luffy was looking back over his shoulder from his seat on the figurehead.

"Don't walk away from me!" Vivi snapped at Sabo as she came out of the anchor room, " _You're_ a Noble? All this time you've been giving me a hard time about being royalty when _you're_ a noble!"

"Oh, great, why don't we just get this all out in the open then," Sabo resolved. "I may have been born in a noble family but I certainly didn't consider it one. I've seen that those people are the scum of the earth so I know what I'm talking about!"

"What could have possibly happened to you that jaded you so much that you no longer allow yourself to see the good in the rulers of the world?" Vivi wondered.

Up on the figurehead, Luffy shook his head sadly as he turned to look back ahead of him.

Sabo scowled, "Okay… let's go back ten years. There's a boy. He's a noble. He grew up with parents that didn't love him. They only saw him as something they could use for political gain. The boy was going to be their bartering chip, someone that they planned to marry off to a pampered Princess like you so that they could elevate their status to members of the royal family. And let's not forget how the boy's parents abused the status they already had. They bribed the local authorities to overlook anything they did wrong. 'Because laws are for common people that are beneath our stature' they'd say. And they'd treat those common people like they were filthy subhuman animals whose only worth was what they could give to them." Sabo grimaced like he had a better taste in his mouth, "The boy knew this was wrong. That house was so rotten that he ran away and lived in the junkyard at the edge of the kingdom. He spent his time among the garbage and filth because even that smelled better than the spoiled, rotten family that he grew up with."

"..." Everyone was so caught up in Sabo's story that nobody noticed Sanji angrily chewing on his cigarette.

Sabo paused and smiled faintly, "The boy met his real family in that junkyard. First there was a boy his age. He shared the boy's desire to escape the shadow his family had cast over him. They decided that they'd scrounge up as much money as possible so they could buy a boat and leave their island behind. They'd be pirates, free men without any ties to their fathers that could do anything and go anywhere they pleased. Then a younger boy showed up." Sabo's smile grew as he glanced up at Luffy. "He was a little rubber crybaby. But no matter what the two older boys did… he wouldn't go away. Eventually he won them over with his sheer determination and utter loyalty. The boy was the happiest he'd ever been. Here were two other people that not only understood him but also cared about him. This wasn't the horrible family that he'd been born into. This was a loving family that he'd found himself. The three boys shared a sake cup to become brothers and trained together so they could set sail to be free pirates."

"So you ran away," Vivi recounted, "Don't you realize that didn't solve anything? If you had stuck it out you could have eventually married that Princess and you could have become King. _Then_ you would have had the power to change the things in your kingdom that you didn't like."

"Yeah… but at what cost?" Sabo argued, "They were already trying to force me into becoming something I wasn't. By the time I so much as touched that crown I would no longer be myself. Even worse, I'd be their puppet trapped in a loveless political marriage. No thanks. I prefer living freely as a lowly pirate sailing with his brother as his captain and in a loving relationship with a rifle than that disgusting excuse for a _privileged_ life."

"That was one bad family," Vivi pointed out, "Yes, it was yours, so that makes the matter personal, but you had to have seen that not _every_ family was like that. For all you know that Princess could have been a very nice girl that shared the same reservations about entering into a political marriage that you did. I have the same kinds of reservations about entering a loveless political marriage. But I'm dealing with it. I left my country so I could _save it_ and not to escape my royal duties."

"Oh, but I'm not done yet," Sabo assured her. "You see the boy's father had eventually hired pirates to get him back and threatened to have his brothers killed if he didn't comply. The boy was barred in his room, forbidden from seeing his family and they even burned down the junkyard. It turns out there was World Noble coming to visit and all the local nobles wanted to impress him so they burned the junkyard to rid the kingdom of its trash. That included anyone unfortunate enough to be living there at the time. Fortunately, this big visit provided enough of a distraction for the boy to once again escape his home-turned-prison. He knew he couldn't stay in the kingdom where he'd be forced to become something he wasn't. The boy stole a fishing boat and made a break for it." Sabo face morphed into a grim smile, "Of course… there was still the matter of the Celestial Dragon arriving in the same harbor. The boy gave the World Noble's huge ship a wide berth… but that wasn't enough for one of the Celestial Dragons. The bubbleheaded bastard unveiled a rifle-cannon and blew up the boy's ship."

Vivi's eyes widened in shock.

"Oh, don't worry…" Sabo reassured her, "This story has a happy ending. The boy was blown up and died in the explosion. So he never had to see his so-called family again."

"I… I didn't…" Vivi stammered.

"Maybe you're right," Sabo said. "Maybe I do twist things to fit my dark perspective of the world. But don't think for one second that you're not doing the same. You're deluding yourself by trying to see good in people where none exists. I've seen and felt the cruel realities of the world." Sabo tucked Bonnie under his left arm and started to undo the buttons on his shirt with the right one. "I hate nobles, and royalty and especially the World Nobles… because _THIS…_ "

Sabo pulled his arm out of his sleeve and swung his shirt open to reveal the burn scar on his side that ten years had done nothing to heal. He turned to show that the horrible flame-induced scarring stretched around his side and marred most of his back.

"… _THIS_ is what happens to ten year old boys when they cross paths with a Celestial Dragon!"

Vivi clasped her hands over her mouth as she stared in silent horror at Sabo's scar. Call her squeamish but the Princess of Alabasta hated to see _anyone_ suffer.

"As far as I'm concerned," Sabo said as he stuck his arm back in his sleeve. "The world would be better off without any of them in it." He turned and stalked back into the anchor room and slammed the door shut behind him.

The male Straw Hats silently took in what they'd just witnessed and learned about their Quartermaster. It certainly helped put his dream to take down the World Nobles into perspective. Nami ran over to Vivi who was near tears.

"I didn't know… I'm sorry… I didn't know…"

"Hey… none of us did either," Nami told the other girl as she drew her into a comforting hug. She looked over the rest of the crew, "I'm gonna make sure she's alright. Luffy, keep an eye out for Little Garden."

"Actually… I spotted it a while ago," Luffy told her.

"YOU DID!?" Nami exclaimed, "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because what Sabo said needed to be said," Luffy stated, "Maybe now his scar can finally start to heal."

The Straw Hats shook off the shock from the 'debate' and its abrupt conclusion as they prepared to bring the Going Merry in and make landfall at the second island in the Grand Line.

They had finally made it to Little Garden.

* * *

A moment later, the Going Merry had reached the island and was sailing inland along a river.

"WHOOOOAAA!" Luffy exclaimed, "This is so cool! Look at all the plants and green stuff! I can see why they call this place 'Little Garden'!"

"I can't," Sanji replied from where everyone stood gathered on the front deck of the Going Merry. The Straw Hats had 'strategically' positioned themselves so there were as many people possible in between Sabo and Vivi. "There's nothing 'little' about this place."

Everything on the island was simply HUGE. The trees towered over the Going Merry and seemed to scrape the sky. The bushes, shrubs and other plants were all massive. Even the local wildlife was enormous.

" **CAAW!"**

"Look at the size of that bird!" Sanji pointed out, "It's almost as big as the Going Merry."

"Are you sure it's a bird?" Luffy asked, "It looks more like a flying lizard with feathers!"

 **KRAKA-TOOOM!**

"WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT!?" Usopp shrieked at a distant eruption. "THIS DEFINITELY DOESN'T SOUND LIKE A NORMAL JUNGLE!"

"I think that was a volcano…" Sabo commented, "But I've never actually seen one before…"

"You okay, Vivi?" Nami asked as she looked over at the Princess with concern.

"I'm worried about what Miss All Sunday said…" Vivi admitted.

"She said there'd be m-monsters…" Usopp stammered.

"She also said that she'd be sending an Officer Agent called 'Mr. 3' after us," Sabo recalled, "Know anything about him, _Princess_?"

"Not much," Vivi admitted as she eyed him warily. "His higher rank means he's stronger than Mr. 5. His partner is Miss Goldenweek. They're both artists. He's a sculptor and she's a painter. The Officer Agents are the strongest members of Baroque Works so it's possible that one or both of them have Devil Fruit Powers."

"Right, keep your eyes out for anything funny," Zoro instructed.

"Hey, I see a tiger!" Luffy pointed out to a tiger the size of an elephant.

 **SLISH!**

The tiger was slashed by an unseen force and toppled to the ground dead. "Never mind…"

"What kind of place can do _that_ to a tiger?" Nami wondered as her panic started to build.

"Please tell me we can stay on the ship!" Usopp whimpered.

"Yeah, good idea!" Nami agreed, "Let's just stay here and calmly wait for the Log Pose to reset…"

"No way!" Luffy replied, "Sanji! Pack me a box lunch! I smell adventure!" The Captain grinned and looked back at his Quartermaster, "Sabo, Bonnie, wanna come?"

"Heck yeah!" Sabo agreed. "Make that two lunches, Sanji!"

"Um… three please," Vivi requested. The Straw Hats collectively froze. There was still a large amount of tension between the Quartermaster and the Princess of Alabasta.

"Yes… of course, my Princess," Sanji eventually agreed, "I'll prepare you my famous Box Lunch of Love."

"I don't know if this is such a good idea…" Zoro warned the blue-haired girl.

"If I stayed here all I'd do is worry," Vivi reasoned, "This will give me something to do." The Princess turned to face Sabo, "And… I haven't given up on you yet. What you went through was horrible. But I'm going to show you that there _is_ such a thing as a trustworthy royal and I dare say you'll finally be used to me by the time we get to Alabasta."

"Are you sure about this?" Nami asked, "Do you really want to explore a mysterious island with just those two nutcases and the riflegeist?"

"I won't be alone," Vivi reassured her. "I'll have Carue with me."

" **QUACK!?"** the startled duck didn't appear to be overly thrilled with that idea.

"He doesn't exactly inspire confidence…" Nami noted.

"Oh great… now the adventure has become a babysitting gig," Sabo complained.

"Maybe… but you guys had better look after the Princess," Zoro growled then jabbed his finger at Sabo, "And that goes _triple_ for you."

"That's right," Sanji said as he came out of the galley. Vivi's box lunch had been packaged with much more care than the others. "I'd never intentionally starve someone. But if _anything_ happens to my Princess… I'll kick your faces in and serve you nothing but table scraps for the next three days!"

"HERE WE GO!" Luffy cheered as he raced off into the jungle with a backpack on his back.

"Hey Luffy, let's try and find that volcano," Sabo suggested as he followed behind him with Bonnie slung over his shoulder. He looked like Sabo the Hobo with the way his box lunch was bundled up and tied onto the end of his rifle.

"Bye! We'll be back soon!" Vivi called out to the others as Carue followed behind the two brothers.

"Do you think Vivi will be okay with them?" Usopp asked Nami. "What about the monsters?"

"Well… those guys are monsters too," Nami reasoned, "They're strong enough to keep her safe."

"I'm bored," Zoro suddenly announced, "I think I'll go for a walk."

"A walk?" Usopp repeated as he watched the Boatswain hop off the ship.

"Hey! Zoro!" Sanji called after him, "We're running low on food. Try to bring back something edible along the way."

"Oh sure," Zoro agreed with a smirk, "I'll bag something you'd never catch."

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" Sanji snapped, "That sounds like a challenge!"

"Maybe it was," Zoro retorted.

"Fine then," Sanji decided, "I challenge you to a hunt! Whoever bags the bigger beast wins!"

"Sure, you're on, Cook," Zoro accepted.

The Boatswain and the Ship's Cook shared one last competitive glare before they split off and made their way off into the jungle.

"…" Nami and Usopp stared after them in silent shock as it slowly sank in that they'd been abandoned. The two shared a glance. Both knew that their companion was probably their last choice to be their only company on an island filled with giant animals, monsters and a mysterious assassin.

"Can't you be more dependable?" Usopp wondered.

"That's _my_ line!" Nami exclaimed.

* * *

"Hey! Check this out!" Luffy called out as he pulled a squid-like creature in a snail shell out of a puddle. "It's some kind of squid… or a clam…"

"I… I think that's an ammonite," Vivi told him.

"But haven't those things been extinct for millions of years?" Sabo questioned.

 **KER-CHOW!**

Bonnie Anne the Hobo Stick fired a shot off behind them.

"What's the matter Bonnie?" Sabo asked. "You see something?" He turned around and his jaw immediately dropped as he stared upward in wide-eyed wonder. "HOOOOLYYYY COOOOOWW!"

Luffy, Vivi and Carue all turned at the sound of Sabo's shout. The two humans and the duck easily spotted what had caused it and were soon staring upward in shock.

 **THOOM!**

The area shook from a heavy footfall and an enormous shadow fell over them.

Luffy was the first of the foursome to find his voice, "WHAT'S A SEA KING DOING ON LAND!?"

"Luffy… that's not a Sea King…" Vivi attempted to correct him as they all stared up at a living breathing brontosaurus. Or at the very least a huge, long-necked dinosaur that looked like one. "It's a…"

"DIIIINOOOSAAAAUUUURR!" Sabo cried out in utter amazement.

* * *

"Hold on, I just remembered reading something about this in a book once…" Nami suddenly realized.

"About what?" Usopp asked. "Little Garden?"

Instead of answering, Nami shot up and ran down into the room where she proceeded to tear apart her bookcase in search of the book.

* * *

"I love the Grand Line!" Sabo gushed as he and Luffy stared up at the dinosaur in wonder.

"This must be a prehistoric island," Vivi realized.

"What's that mean?" Luffy asked.

"It's stuck in the age of dinosaurs," Vivi explained. "Because of the difficulty in navigating the Grand Line some islands are cut off from the rest of the world and can develop their own culture. Just like it's possible for some islands to be incredibly advanced… it's also possible for some islands to be stuck millions of years back in time. It's probably a result of the chaotic interaction from the magnetic fields."

"Who cares how it happens," Sabo said, "All I know is that I'm staring at a real live _dinosaur_." Sabo pulled Bonnie off of his shoulder and beamed at his girlfriend. "You see that Bonnie? That's proof of everything I've been saying all these years! _Dinosaurs_ are alive here! That means a _nything_ is possible in the Grand Line! We'll definitely find a way to get you out of that gun! I know it!"

 **KER-CHOW!**

"HEY SABO!" Luffy called out with a wide grin, "RACE YA TO THE TOP!"

"Cheeky monkey," Sabo muttered as he pulled his lunch off of Bonnie and handed it off to Carue, "Watch my lunch and I'll let you have some."

" **Qua…"** the duck agreed as he took the bundle in his beak.

Luffy and Sabo both dropped into sprinter stances and looked back at Vivi expectantly, "Well?"

"Oh… um… go!" Vivi prompted.

The two brothers were off like a shot and raced towards the dinosaur.

 **WOING!**

Luffy stretched his arms and grabbed the top of one of the dinosaur's tree trunk-sized legs and shot himself upward.

 **SHOOM!**

Meanwhile, Sabo launched himself up into the air.

 **SKISH!**

Sabo did a forward flip in midair and fired Bonnie.

 **Fwip! KER-CHOW!**

The rifle's recoil gave Sabo a boost and sent him rocketing up to the dinosaur's back.

 **TMP!**

Luffy touched down and landed on the brontosaurus' back first. But then Sabo came down on Luffy's head and used his rubber brother as a springboard to launch himself up the brontosaurus' neck.

 **Squish-BOING!**

"HEY!" Luffy complained as he popped back up and quickly stretched his arms upward so he could grab the sides of the dinosaur's head. "GUM… GUM… ROCKET!"

 **WOOOIIING!**

Luffy went flying upward and whizzed past Sabo as he flew up towards the dinosaur's head.

"See ya at the top, Bonnie," Sabo said as he swung his arm out to the side and hurled his rifle upward like a boomerang.

 **Whap!**

Sabo grabbed onto the brontosaurus' neck at about half way up then used his hold to launch himself up after his girlfriend.

 **SKISH!**

"WAAH! TOO HIGH!" Luffy yelped as he reached the top of the dinosaur's head… AND FLEW OVER IT! Luffy sailed up over the tree line and quickly shot his arm down and grabbed the top of the oblivious dinosaur's head to change direction in midair and hurl himself back down.

 **WHING!**

Luffy curled himself into a ball to speed up his descent but was treated to a perfect view of Sabo as he snagged Bonnie Anne out of the air and landed on top of the brontosaurus' head.

 **Tmp!**

"Nice try, little brother," Sabo taunted as he Luffy landed next to him, "But you're gonna need more than rubber powers to beat me."

"I'll beat you next time so I'm not mad," Luffy said before he turned and stared of the dinosaur's head. "Whoa check out this view! You can see everything from up here!"

"Yeah," Sabo agreed. The brontosaurus' extremely long neck went up over the tree line and gave them a great view of Little Garden splayed out below them, "Hey look over there! It's not just one volcano… but a whole bunch of them! I count at least five!"

"Oh! And look at those mountains!" Luffy pointed out, "They're full of holes like caves!"

"BE CAREFUL UP THERE!" Vivi called up to the pirates in warning.

* * *

" **RAAAAAHHHHRRR!"**

"What the hell!?" Sanji yelped in surprise as a tyrannosaurus charged out of the trees at him.

 **SKISH!**

The Straw Hat Cook launched himself up into the air and swung his leg around for a powerful kick. "COLLIER SHOOT!"

 **THWHAM!**

Sanji kicked the dinosaur in the neck and it dropped to the ground unmoving.

* * *

"What the heck is this thing?" Zoro wondered as he stared at a triceratops, "Some type of rhino? I _think_ it's edible…"

" **GRRR…"** the triceratops growled as it pointed its three long horns at the Straw Hat Boatswain.

"Three swords, huh?" the swordsman remarked as he drew his three blades, "Let's see how yours measure up to mine… ONI GIRI!"

 **SLIKA-SLICE!**

What killed the dinosaurs? The Straw Hat Pirates.

* * *

"You know… there's really only one way to get down from here," Sabo remarked as he turned and stared off the back of the brontosaurus' head and down its long neck.

"YEAH! DINO-SLIDE!" Luffy cheered.

 **Click!**

"What's the matter?" Sabo asked.

"Don't be scared, Bonnie!" Luffy encouraged the rifle. "It'll be fun!"

 **Click!**

"Bonnie… how did you _think_ we were going to get down from here?" Sabo inquired. "Climbing all the way down will take forever. Plus when are we gonna get another chance to _slide_ down a brontosaurus?"

 **CLICK!**

"Luffy, you go first," Sabo instructed, "Show her that we'll be fine."

"Can I shout that thing you said I should never shout?" Luffy requested.

"In this one case… I'd say it's acceptable," Sabo agreed.

Luffy's wide-grin actually caused his face to stretch before he ran and jumped off the back of the dinosaur's head. "YYYAAAABBAAAA-DABBA-DOOOOOOO!"

 **WHIIIISSH!**

The rubber pirate landed on the brontosaurus' neck and began sliding down it at a high speed.

 **WOOOOSH!**

"WOOOO-HOOOO-HOOOO!" Luffy whizzed across the dinosaur's back before before continuing his break-neck slide down the dinosaur's long tail. "WOOOOOAAAAAAH!" Luffy shrieked in glee as he went flying off the end of the dinosaur's tail.

 **WHING!**

"WAAH!" Vivi and Carue yelped as they ducked right before Luffy went flying over their heads.

 **THUD!**

Luffy finally hit the ground and rolled to a stop, "SHISHISHISHI! THAT WAS GREAT! I WANNA GO AGAIN!"

"See, Bonnie? He's fine," Sabo pointed out as he rubbed his rifle comfortingly. "You trust me, don't you? I'll hold you extra tight to make sure you're safe, okay?"

 **KER-CHOW!**

"Atta girl!" Sabo praised his girlfriend.

Unknown to the blonde pirate, he'd finally gotten the dinosaur's attention. It hadn't noticed the two tiny pirates climbing it. And it hadn't noticed the one pirate jumping off and sliding down its back. But it _did_ notice the loud gun-shot going off right near its ear.

Sabo tucked Bonnie Anne into his coat and wrapped his arms tightly around his stomach to keep the rifle pinned in place then prepared to jump off the dinosaur's head. But before he could jump, the dinosaur flipped its head backwards.

 **FWIP!**

"WHOA!" Sabo yelped as he went flying up into the air.

The dinosaur tilted its head back further and opened its mouth wide.

"OOOH CRAP!" Sabo cursed as he plummeted down in the brontosaurus' huge gaping open mouth, "HANG ON, BONNIE!"

 **CLOMP! GULP!**

The dinosaur's mouth closed and the massive beast swallowed the Quartermaster and his rifle whole much to the shock of the three watching from the ground.

" **QUACK!"** Carue squawked in alarm

"IT ATE HIM!?" Vivi shrieked.

"WHAT THE HECK!?" Luffy shouted, "THAT GUY'S SUPPOSED TO BE A PLANT-EATER!"

* * *

"USOPP! USOPP! I FOUND IT!" Nami shouted as she came running out of the storage room with the book she'd finally managed to locate.

But she stopped in her tracks when she realized the deck of the Going Merry was cloaked in shadow and that Usopp was staring up a massive hulking round figure in sheer terror.

Nami's book dropped from her suddenly limp hand and fell open on the deck.

There was only one word to properly describe the monster towering over the Going Merry: GIANT.

Nami's book had fallen open to the proper page about Little Garden.

" _For the people that live there the island is truly a 'little garden'. And so I have decided to call it Little Garden the Land of Giants." – Explorer Louis Arnote_

" **GABABABABABABA!"** the large round giant let out a booming laugh that shook the caravel.

* * *

"LUFFY! GET HIM OUT OF THERE!" Vivi cried out as they stared up at the apparently carnivorous 'brontosaurus' that had just eaten Sabo and Bonnie.

"RIGHT!" Luffy agreed as he punched his hand. "I'M GONNA KICK THAT STUPID, SCALEY GIRAFFE'S ASS!"

But before Luffy could take a step towards the dinosaur, its long neck was suddenly cleaved from its body by a massive sword.

 **SLIIISH!**

Sabo came flying out of the severed end of the dinosaur's long neck and landed in a gigantic hand.

"GEGYAGYAGYAGYA!" the muscular long-bearded giant dressed in Viking-style clothing and a helmet. "That was a close one, little human!"

"Whoa… thanks, Mister!" Sabo called up to his massive savior. He pulled his rifle out of his coat. "Look. Bonnie, we've been saved by a giant."

"WHOA! THAT GUY'S HUGE!" Luffy exclaimed from down on the ground. "Is he human?"

"Its… it's a giant!" Vivi gasped as she dropped to her knees in shock. Carue had actually fainted. "I've heard rumors about them… but this my first time seeing one…"

"My name's Sabo and this is my girlfriend Bonnie Anne," Sabo introduced himself and his rifle to his titanic savior.

"GEGYAGYAGYAGYA!" the giant laughed loudly, "You're a funny little human! I am Dorry! Elbaf's Strongest Warrior! You and your little friends are welcome back to my place for a feast. There will be plenty of dinosaur meat for everyone!"

Vivi froze when she saw Dorry looked down at them, "He's spotted us…"

"So? I like him!" Luffy exclaimed. "He saved Sabo and he's gonna give us free food! There's no way he's a bad guy! COUNT US IN, MR. GIANT!"

* * *

"SHISHISHISHISHI!" "GEGYAGYAGYAGYA!"

Dorry's place was one of the two massive caved-filled mountains that Luffy and Sabo had spotted. Luffy and the giant had immediately hit it off and were laughing like old friends.

"Wow! This dinosaur meat is great good, giant-guy!" Luffy called out as he sat on a huge slab of meat. He'd made a considerable dent it in it. But there was still loads left.

"And your little pirate box lunch was pretty tasty too," Dorry replied, "But the portions were a little small for my tastes."

"I'm glad you liked it," Luffy said, "My cook made it special so if you said you didn't like it I would've kicked your ass."

"GEGYAGYAGYAGYA!" Dorry laughed at the audacity of the little human, "What a funny little pirate!"

"SHISHISHISHI!" Luffy laughed along with their gracious host.

"They're getting along just like old friends," Vivi noted as she watched the human and giant interact. Carue was next to her pecking at Sabo's box lunch. She glanced to the side and saw Sabo sitting on a huge slide of meat that had been cut from the end of Luffy's big slab. Sabo had made a dent in it but the portions were astronomical for a normal human.

"I'm certainly enjoying the twisted irony of this situation," Sabo commented to the rifle in his lap and he broke a chunk of meat off of the giant slice and ate it. "I'm eating the monster that tried to eat us."

"So I told you about us being pirates," Luffy said, "What about you giant-guy? What're you doing living out here all alone? Don't you have a village?"

"I do," Dorry answered, "I am a proud warrior of Elbaf. It's located here in the Grand Line. But my village has a certain law that if a quarrel breaks out and you can't settle it on your own then you must seek Elbaf's judgement in a trial by combat."

"Wait… I thought you said Elbaf was your island," Sabo interjected, "How can it judge you?"

"Our village was named Elbaf after our God Elbaf," Dorry explained, "Elbaf is just and bestows protection on righteous to ensure their survival of the trial by combat."

Vivi looked over at Sabo, "Let me guess, you have a problem with Gods too."

"No, not really," Sabo replied, "There's a big difference between having faith that a divine being will provide protection for you in a deadly battle versus blindly worshiping an undeserving King. Ten years ago, _something_ protected me from that explosion. And _something_ brought Bonnie and me together. I can't explain it but there's not a day that goes by where I'm not extremely grateful that it happened."

 **KER-CHOW!**

Sabo fondly ran his hand along his rifle, "Love you too."

Luffy looked back at Dorry, "So is that why you're out here? Because of a quarrel?"

"Yes I am," Dorry confirmed, "Another giant is here with me. We invoked Elbaf's judgement and are facing off in the trial by combat. And in the end the one who is in the right will survive and triumph. We've been fighting for one hundred years and nothing's been settled! GEGYAGYAGYAGYA!"

"A HUNDRED YEARS!?" Vivi repeated in shock.

"WOW!" Luffy exclaimed, "That's a really long time!"

"Maybe to you little humans," Dorry replied, "But a giant's lifespan is three times as long as yours."

"But even if you do live longer than us!" Vivi objected, "What sort of grudge could you have against the other giant that you'd still want to kill each other after fighting for a century!?"

"You've got it backwards, _Princess_ ," Sabo informed her, "It's not about a grudge. This is a battle of honor and pride. I wouldn't be surprised if Dorry and the other giant are good friends."

"It's true," Dorry agreed, "We are both proud warriors of Elbaf each seeing to prove which of us is the righteous. I fight every battle against Brogy with everything I have because he's my best friend and deserves no less."

 **KRAKA-THOOOOOM!**

Luffy, Sabo, Vivi and Dorry all turned to see the biggest of the volcanoes erupt.

"Time to go," Dorry announced as he stood up.

"Are you going to fight now, giant-guy?" Luffy asked.

"Back at the beginning, Brogy and I decided that an eruption from that volcano would signify the start of a new battle," Dorry explained.

Luffy and Sabo both stood up and turned to see the other giant standing up in front of a massive hole-filled mountain that matched Dorry's house. Brogy had a round build and short beard. He wore a horned Viking-style helmet and clothing like Dorry's.

"What sort of quarrel could drive the two of you to fight for an entire century!?" Vivi asked heatedly.

"That's doesn't matter!" Luffy reprimanded her. "It's not about that anymore."

"Yes… now's it's simply a matter of pride," Dorry stated as he prepare his sword and shield while Brogy readied his own shield and his battle ax. "We forgot the cause of our quarrel ages ago!"

Dorry and Brogy charged and the entire island shook when the two giants collided.

 **BOOOOOOM!**

Dorry's sword met Brogy's shield and Brogy's ax was in turn blocked by Dorry's shield.

"This is senseless!" Vivi objected as she watched the two giant attempt to murder each other.

"It figures that a royal like you wouldn't understand," Sabo scoffed while Luffy stared transfixed at the battling giants. "It's called Warrior Pride, _Princess_. It's something you develop over time when you make your way through the world under your own power and overcome any obstacles and adversaries in your way using your own two hands. They're proud warriors that have been fighting countless battles with everything they have over the last hundred years for the sake of maintaining their honor and pride. Dorry and his friend respect each other so much that they refuse to quit until their duel is settled."

"…" Vivi stared at Sabo and thought about the first time she'd fought someone back when she was girl. She also remembered how fighting with the slightly older boy had gained her large measure of respect. "Then that's how we'll do this…" Vivi stood up and stalked towards Sabo, "HEY, DANDY MAN!"

Sabo sighed, "Yes? What do you want now, _Princess_?"

Vivi didn't answer verbally. She simply hauled off and punched him in the eye.

 **POW!**

Sabo staggered backwards in surprise and prodded his eye. "OW! What the heck are you doing?"

"Fight me!" Vivi challenged him as she held up her fists. "Back when I was a girl… there was this boy that thought I was just a spoiled prissy princess like you do. So I fought him and ended up becoming the Vice Leader of the Sand Sand Band."

"Did you fall and hit your head?" Sabo wondered, "We already fought. It ended with me sending you and your doofus partner flying halfway across Whiskey Peak."

"We both know that your girlfriend carried you through that fight!" Vivi retorted, "Why don't you _be a man_ and fight me yourself?"

"Watch it, _Princess_ ," Sabo warned her, "It's not just the giants that'll get mad if you insult their pride."

"That's what I'm counting on!" Vivi assured him, "Come on! Come at me! Chicken!"

"I have neither the time nor the patience to cater to your royal delusions, _Princess!_ "

"That's it!" Vivi snapped as she charged and tackled the pirate the ground.

 **WHUMP!**

Sabo hit the ground and Bonnie went flying. Vivi immediately laid into him with another shot to the face.

 **POW!**

"Ow… okay, knock it off!" Sabo complained.

"Then why don't you fight back!" Vivi taunted, "Come on! Fight me!"

"Luffy! Bonnie!" Sabo called out, "The Princess has gone crazy! Get her off!"

 **FWUMP!**

Sabo and Vivi both froze when they turned to see Luffy suddenly fall flat on his back.

"Luffy… are you okay?" Vivi asked.

"I can't… it's too big!" Luffy gasped as he stared wide-eyed up at the sky. He'd been watching the giants battle for their lives the whole time and had been completely overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of the massive fight.

 **KER-CHOW!**

"EEP!" Vivi yelped when a bullet whizzed by her head and she quickly scrambled off of Sabo.

Bonnie Anne had decided to finally intervene and end the smaller of the two fights. That or she'd noticed how Vivi was unconsciously straddling her boyfriend in her well-meaning attempt to fight him. No one asked for her reasoning and the rifle-dwelling spirit made no other sound to express it.

The mega-sized death match between Brogy and Dorry raged on until their seventy-three thousand four hundred sixty-sixth battle ended in their seventy-three thousand four hundred sixty-sixth draw.

* * *

"Brogy had some rum that he got from the little pirates on your ship," Dorry happily informed his guests as the placed a barrel of rum down next to him. "It turns you two of your little friends are at his cave now. There was a long nose and a girl."

"Usopp and Nami actually left the ship?" Luffy questioned. "Wow, it turns out like adventure too!"

"Good for Usopp," Sabo remarked. He was sporting a black eye from Vivi's first punch. "Hopefully seeing this battle between brave warriors will give him motivation towards his dream."

"Sorry about your eye…" Vivi apologized. Her impulsive plan appeared to have failed.

"Just keep your hands to yourself, noose bait," Sabo warned her.

"Noose?" Vivi repeated. "I'm sorry… what does that mean?"

"It means if I laid a hand on you and your father learned about it… I'd have a date with the hangman as soon as we reached Arablasta."

"MY FATHER DOES NOT HANG PEOPLE!" Vivi insisted, "He cares about everyone in my country! That even includes the rebels trying to unseat him! That boy I fought didn't even get punished! And _he's_ the one leading the rebel army!"

"Fine, jail bait, then," Sabo decided, "There's a clear difference between a snot-nosed kid fighting with a little girl versus a pirate that's killed people. And I didn't forget about that perfume-dance thing you tried to pull on me back in Whiskey Peak! How old are you? If your father learns about that he'd be liable to cut my balls off!"

"He would not!" Vivi objected, "And I'm sixteen."

"Maybe he might," Dorry chimed in, "If I had a pretty daughter like you… _I'd_ cut the balls off of any man that laid a hand on her."

"See?" Sabo said as he pointed up at Dorry.

"No, that just proves it's something _a father_ would do!" Vivi argued, "Not necessarily a King!"

Dorry looked over at Luffy as Sabo and Vivi continued to argue, "Are you sure he's dating the rifle? He and the girl are fighting like my old mate and I used to."

Dorry's comment brought the argument to an abrupt stop.

"What?" Sabo and Vivi chorused.

 **CLICK!**

"Oh, crap, out of bullets," Sabo realized as he doting patted his rifle and fished six new rounds out of his coat pocket, "Sorry Bonnie…"

"Yup," Luffy said, "Sabo and Bonnie have been boyfriend-girlfriend for over a year now."

"Gegyagya!" Dorry chuckled, "That's not very long by my standards. But as long as you're sure!" The giant picked up the rum barrel and took a swig. "Oh, before I forget, the girl that was with Brogy told me to tell you little humans that the Log Pose takes a year to reset here."

Vivi's eyes went wide, "AN ENTIRE YEAR!?"

"Yes," Dorry confirmed, "Most of the little humans that try to wait it out die before the year's end. Some get eaten by dinosaurs. Some can't handle the weather. Other little humans have even tried to attack us giants… they died even faster. That's where all the skulls come from."

"Oh no…" Vivi lamented, "I don't have a year to wait here… by that time the war might even be over…"

"Well, if you little pirates can't afford to wait, you could always just try sailing off in a random direction," Dorry suggested. "Some little humans have tried that. Who knows? You might just make it! Gegyagya!"

"Hey, maybe we will!" Luffy exclaimed before he laughed along with the giant, "Shishishishi!"

"That won't work!" Vivi insisted, "We need a Log Pose."

"The only Pose we have on this island is the Eternal Pose to Elbaf," Dorry informed her, "You can try to take it if you want. But Brogy and I are already fighting over it. So you'll have to fight us for it."

"Nah," Luffy replied, "We don't need your Pose to Elbaf." He made no mention of whether or not he couldn't beat the giants to get it. "We're heading for Arablasta..." He looked over at Vivi, "Right?"

"Yes, _Alabasta_ ," Vivi said.

"I guess we'll just have to meet up with the others and figure something out," Sabo reasoned. "Hey, maybe if we run into that Mr. 3-guy we can take _his_ Log Pose along with our Baroque Works Bounties."

"That's one idea… I suppose," Vivi agreed.

"Who's Mr. 3?" Dorry asked curiously.

"A criminal organization called Baroque Works wants us dead," Luffy told him with a wide upbeat smile, "He's the guy they're sending to kill us. So after we can beat him up, we can take cool bounty posters their otter drew of us."

"Gegyagyagyagya!" Dorry laughed loudly, "You're certainly an interesting little pirate! Gegyagyagyagya!" The giant took another swig of rum.

 **KA-BOOOOOM!**

The rum suddenly exploded which caused flames and smoke to billow out from Dorry's mouth. The giant dropped to the ground and started hacking up blood.

"WHAT THE HECK!?" Sabo exclaimed.

"THE RUM EXPLODED!" Vivi shrieked in alarm.

"BUT THAT STUFF CAME FROM _OUR SHIP_!" Luffy recalled.

"The rum… exploded…" Sabo mused. "Like it was…"

"…a bomb…" Vivi finished for him.

The princess and a pirate shared a glance.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?" Sabo inquired.

Vivi nodded, "Mr. 5 must have followed us here from Whiskey Peak."

"Who?" Luffy asked.

"That guy you punched in the face," Sabo explained.

"The one you said that we'd never see again?" Luffy clarified.

"Yeah," Sabo answered, "It looks like we're about to see him again." Sabo hefted Bonnie over his shoulder and stared into the jungle head of him. "Luffy, stay here with the Princes. Bonnie and I are going hunting for honorless scumbags." The Quartermaster promptly stalked off.

" **HOW DARE YOU!"** Luffy and Vivi turned to see a furious Dorry forcing himself back up off the ground. "This rum was from your ship! HOW DARE YOU INTERFERE IN THE SACRED BATTLE BETWEEN TO WARRIORS OF ELBAF!"

"Luffy, we have to run!" VIvi warned him while Carue cowered behind her. "He's too angry for us to reason with him."

"Running would be useless," Luffy replied as he took off his straw hat and held it out to her, "Hold this for me and stand back."

"You're not planning to _fight him_ , are you!?" Vivi protested as she took Luffy's hat and watched him start to do some pre-fight stretches. "You can't fight someone that much bigger than you!"

"Sorry, giant-guy," Luffy apologized. "But I'm gonna have to shut you up for a bit."

* * *

Did anyone else chuckle when they pictured Sabo the Hobo in their head?

Sabo's scar has now been publicly unveiled which shows that he has a lot of deep seeded issues that he needs to work through. Lucky for him, Vivi hasn't given up on winning him over and may be able to help him in the long run.

And yes, Bonnie's scared of dinosaur slides/roller coasters. Nobody tell her about the Milky Road!

Silver signing off


	29. Mr 3

_**BROTHER ON BOARD**_

Guest - I think you meant _hypocritical_ bigot. And yes, I agree. That's why Zoro called him out on it. But the point is that you can at least understand where he's coming from and his views and origin is now public and out in the open. Also, keep in mind that this is Sabo's first time off his island. I'm not going to make excuses for him. But simply put, all of Sabo's experiences with nobles and World Nobles have been bad. So that's colored his perception of them. There are two major character changing things that are going to happen to Sabo over the course of the Alabasta Saga. The first is Vivi eventually helping him to overcome his prejudice. I'll leave the second as a surprise.

Flux Casey - I haven't but after reading few summaries I may start. Seems interesting. You have a point about the epithet. The World Government would never call him 'Noble Pirate' no matter how well the Straw Hats are getting along with them at the time. But that nickname served its purpose by getting Sabo explain his origin story. I think that's an import part of showing why I'm writing Sabo this way.

Girlbook - Hopefully Sabo when encounters Wapol it won't undo any progress that Vivi has managed to make.

The Patient One - It's not so much the fear of _heights_. In chapter 23, Bonnie was fine in the Crow's Nest, sailing down Reverse Mountain and being thrown to save Nami from the figurehead. Its more an issue of falling from those heights at an extreme speed with no control over yourself. The lack of control is an especially important factor since she's trapped in a gun. Bonnie's origin is obvious to _me_ but that's because I'm looking at it from an angle that most One Piece fans wouldn't. Yes, Flintstones. What else would you shout when surfing/sliding down a dinosaur? My thoughts on Miss Goldenweek's character is that the reason for her extreme laziness is because she doesn't like what she's doing. Her canon personality shows that she gets bored easily. But at the same time she hates the alternative to doing nothing. That leads me to believe that she's not overly happy with her job.

Miqila - Sounds a bit like the AcexNojiko ship. They have no interaction in canon but because they're both older siblings they're a semi-popular fanon pairing. Thanks for what you said about Sabo and Vivi argument. I was still a little worried that it took away from the canon stuff. But it was important Sabo character development versus the giant battle that we've already seen in the original. I'm glad your split on the Sabo/Vivi issue. It shows that they both have their good points and that they can hopefully learn from each other as the Saga progresses.

TheREALMightyKamina - The Tone Dial thing _would be_ funny. But I'm not sure how Sabo would have gotten the Tone Dial in the first place. And more importantly, Sabo won't anywhere near them during that scene. I was testing the waters with the Holy Grail references since that's the most well known Monty Python film. But I suppose I could work in some other references as - not just this saga - but the story progresses.

The Keeper of Worlds - All of the Straw Hats have tragic backstories. But that's what made them such strong characters. I wanted to use this as a chance to publicly display my interpretation of Sabo's origin and show not just how he fits in with the tragic band of misfits but also why he thinks that way he does. My version of Sabo never got amnesia so he had ten years to hold a grudge against nobles and the prick that nearly killed him. Sanji and Sabo come from similar situations. But unlike Sabo, Sanji was fortunate enough to have his mother to teach him compassion and Zeff to literally beat chivalry into his head. Sanji is still forbidden from making any claim to his royal heritage. But he does have something to say about Sabo's view of royalty. And they'll have another quiet discussion once Sanji decides to re-enter the storyline and they get a moment alone. (So... next arc.)

Lightsbane1905 - Do NOT tell her! Hopefully the Octopus Balloon will keep Bonnie from having a heart attack. Her issue isn't with _heights_ in general. Its _falling from_ great heights with no control.

Bluejay Blaze - You noticed that, eh? Her father's Cobra. And I can pretend that Vivi's a viper. So I decided to go with a common theme. Elapidae and Taipan sounded unique and formal enough to pass for old royal names. Ah, I understand about the Python geekiness. What it boils down to is: you're either a Python fan... or you're sane. And yes, Flintstones. Is there a better instantly recognizable phrase to shout when sliding down a dinosaur? I've included two classic movie references in this chapter. One's for an 80's John Hughes movie and the other is a Clint Eastwood western from the 70's.

rasEnshur1KEn - Let's just pretend its some silly phrase that Luffy started shouting when he was a kid. But Ace and Sabo told him to stop because it sounded too silly to use in any other context _but_ sliding down a dinosaur. Sanji's going to have his moment with Sabo during the Drum Kingdom Arc. (You know, when he finally comes back into the story.) Sabo does an interesting combinations of things. The chapter's here so read on to find out.

lostdog200 - Hmm... those are some very interesting options. My response? YES. Confused? Read the chapter and it'll make sense.

Fairy of the Friz - I'm glad you like Bonnie. The big reveal for her is coming soon. I'm a little nervous though because I hope it doesn't become a Beauty and the Beast thing where readers fall in love with the Beast (or in this case the rifle) and when the curse is finally broken the real Prince Adam (Bonnie Anne) can't hope to compare. Fingers crossed as far as that's concerned. As for the dinosaur bit, that's good to know. I knew from the start that it wasn't a brontosaurus on account that it tried to eat Luffy (in this story's case Sabo). But I couldn't for the life of me figure out what kind of dinosaur it actually was so I went with the most common 'long neck'. Do you have any idea what it could be? Apatosaurus? Brachiosaurus? (Incidentally, my spell check for this site says the 'proper' spelling for Brachiosaurus is 'Brontosaurus'. I'm not sure if it's just mine that does that...)

Lonely Puppy - Bonnie Anne is most definitely not a Mink. And she'd happily tell you that herself... if she was able to talk... and knew what a Mink was. I doubt Sabo would mind though. He loves her as a rifle. He'd still love her as a Mink. But for the sake of curiosity and from a purely ethical standpoint, would that be considered bestiality? Minks are animals but they also are highly intelligent with human-like features. They do have fur and have some more primal animal instincts... but does that make them animals? Or are they considered something more? We don't see very many inter-species relationships in One Piece. We don't see many relationships at all in Once Piece. So I'm not if cross-species relationships are considered socially acceptable. We've seen evidence of Fishmen and Giants together. But that's it.

* * *

 **Mr. 3-**

A large bipedal crocodile-like dinosaur was making its way through the jungle on Little Garden when it spotted a strange white cube. The 'crocodile' decided to investigate the matter. The first and most important thing it needed to determine was whether or not the white cube was edible.

 **CHOMP!**

The crocodile's teeth shattered when it found out the hard way that the white cube was as hard as steel. But the unfortunate reptile didn't have very long to mourn its lost teeth.

" **Out of the way, lizard."** The crocodile turned and spotted Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine.

" **Grrrmmm…"** the crocodile growled and then realized that its growl wasn't particularly menacing now that there were only two layers of gums on display as opposed to rows of razor sharp teeth.

"I'll take care of it," Miss Valentine volunteered.

 **SKISH!**

The blonde Officer Agent lowered her weight to five kilos and launched herself high up overhead then rapidly increased her weight, "10,000 KILO PRESS!"

 **BOOOOOM!**

Miss Valentine crashed down on the crocodile and left the broken reptile lying at the bottom of a crater.

Mr. 5 casually walked passed and opened a door in the side of the cube with his good hand then went inside with his partner.

"Ah, you're back," Mr. 3 greeted them as he sat drinking tea behind a desk in the middle of the cube.

"Zzzz…" Miss Goldenweek was napping in the corner below a circular window.

"Did everything go as planned?" Mr. 3 inquired.

"I put a bomb in the giant's rum like you told me to," Mr. 5 reported.

"For what it's worth, blondie and the princess quickly figured out it was us," Miss Valentine added.

"Excellent," Mr. 3 replied, "Now the pirates will begin searching for their invisible enemy which will make them easy pickings for us. We can proceed with the next stage of my plan."

"Before you do that," Mr. 5 cut him off, "You've got a deal to live up to. I did your dirty work. Now you've gotta fix my hand."

"Yes, yes, very well," Mr. 3 relented, "Let's see it…" Mr. 5 held out his heavily bandage right hand then slowly peeled off the bindings to reveal that his middle and index fingers had been blown off.

"It's been two days and the bleeding still hasn't stopped," Mr. 5 stated.

"Ew…" Miss Valentine groaned and looked the other way.

"Decision time," Mr. 3 prompted, "Do you want a fist or your fingers extended?"

"Extended," Mr. 5 answered. Mr. 3 nodded put his hand on Mr. 5's injury.

 **Gloop!**

A white substance spewed out from Mr. 3's hand and quickly molded it into the shape of two white fingers that perfectly matched the fingers on Mr. 5's uninjured hand. The white substance hardened and Mr. 5 once again had all his fingers. Only two of them stood out because they were the wrong color.

"I haven't used my Wax Wax Devil Fruit Powers quite this way before," Mr. 3 admitted, "But the wax should also be able to stop the bleeding until you can receive proper medical attention."

"They just need last me until the end of this mission," Mr. 5 stated as he eyed his new appendages.

"Miss Goldenweek! Wake up!" Mr. 3 called out to his partner.

"Hmm…" the girl mumbled as she woke up from her nap.

"Fix Mr. 5's new fingers so they match the rest of his hand," Mr. 3 instructed.

Miss Goldenweek studied Mr. 5's new wax fingers for a moment then fished into the blue backpack next to her and pulled out a collection of paints. The girl began mixing the paints together on a pallet until she eventually created a color that matched Mr. 5's dark skin tone. "Hand, please…"

Mr. 5 extended his hand to her and the girl took him by the wrist and used a paintbrush to color his new wax fingers. When Miss Goldenweek was done, the wax digits blended into Mr. 5's hand perfectly. She'd even altered the color for his nails and the slightly darker skin on his knuckles.

"Not bad," Mr. 5 remarked as he compared his new fingers to the original ones on his uninjured hand. "They look exactly the same. You two do good work."

"Artist first, criminal assassin second," Miss Goldenweek stated then she turned and stared fixatedly at Mr. 3's teapot.

"Speak for yourself," Mr. 3 retorted.

"Now that that's settled," Miss Valentine prompted, "Can we get back to the matter at… the mission." The blonde agent quickly corrected herself to avoid making a bad pun. "Was there really a point to putting a bomb in that giant's rum? Couldn't we have just destroyed the pirates' ship?"

"Of course there was a point," Mr. 3 replied, "Those aren't just some run-of-the-mill giants. They were once the co-captains of the infamous Giant Pirates that ran amok in the Grand Line over a hundred years ago. The World Government saw fit to place substantial bounties on both of their heads. The bounties are still active today." He produced two wanted posters that depicted a much younger Brogy and Dorry.

WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE: BROGY 'THE RED OGRE' 100,000,000 BERRIES

WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE: DORRY 'THE BLUE OGRE' 100,000,000 BERRIES

"A hundred million!" Mr. 5 blurted out.

"For each of them!" Miss Valentine gasped.

"…" Miss Goldenweek continued to silently stare at the teapot.

"Only a fool would challenge a giant to a head on battle," Mr. 3 continued, "Those giants are already trying to kill each other so that bomb will make things easier for us. The combined total of the bounties that Mr. 0 placed on the princess and the pirates is one hundred thirty million berries. If we add in the bounties for the two giants we'll have a grand total of three hundred thirty million berries. Follow my commands and I'll cut you two in for thirty percent of the profits in this venture."

One hundred million berries was nothing to turn your nose up at.

"Alright," Mr. 5 agreed, "What's your plan if we're not going to be fighting them head on?"

"Execute a little cunning and even the mightiest of mountains will eventually crumble," Mr. 3 stated, "Here's what we'll do for the next stage…" Mr. 3 trailed off when he saw his young partner still staring fixatedly at the teapot but making no move to take it. "OH GOOD GRIEF! IF YOU WANT SOME TEA THEN GET UP AND TAKE THE POT YOURSELF!"

"Here, kid," Mr. 5 said as he put the teapot and a cup down in front of Miss Goldenweek.

The girl nodded her thanks and poured herself a cup of tea. "Don't let your new fingers get too warm or they'll melt." Then she turned and stared fixatedly at the cup of sugar on the table.

"You see? You're only encouraging her laziness," Mr. 3 pointed out as he tossed the sugar bowl to his partner. "Back to more important matters… I haven't gotten this far by going out and challenging my enemies to face-to-face battles. My personal motto is: the greatest crimes require the greatest cunning. There are many ways to defeat your enemy that don't require outright fighting."

* * *

Vivi stepped in between Luffy and Dorry in one last desperate attempt to stop the impending fight where Luffy was challenging a giant to a head on battle.

"PLEASE LISTEN, MR. DORRY!" Vivi pleaded, "IT WASN'T US! AN ASSASSIN PUT A BOMB IN THAT RUM! PLEASE! YOU CAN'T FIGHT LIKE THIS! YOUR INSIDES WERE DAMAGED BY THE EXPLOSION!"

Dorry ignored the Princess' words and glared down at Luffy, "HOW DARE YOU!" he roared, "YOU DESPICABLE LITTLE RUNT!" Dorry swung his massive sword down at Luffy who jumped to avoid it.

 **SKISH!**

 **THOOOOM!**

 **T** he impact from Dorry's sword hitting the earth had caused it to split like an earthquake.

"YAAH!" Vivi yelped and ran out of the way as Luffy took on an adversary a hundred times his size.

Luffy landed on Dorry's sword and ran up the giant's arm to get inside his guard, "GUM… GUM…"

 **WHAM!**

Dorry swatted Luffy with his shield arm like he was a pesky fly and sent the rubber man crashing down into the ground.

 **THUD!**

Dorry raised his sword up overhead and prepared to bring it down on his grounded opponent.

 **WOING!**

Luffy stretched his arms out passed the giant and grabbed onto a tree behind his massive adversary. "GUM… GUM… ROCKET!"

 **SHOOOM!**

Luffy yanked himself out of the way and Dorry's sword cleaved into the ground.

 **THOOOOM!**

"KOFF! KOFF!" the giant hacked up blood as his movements took their toll in his internal injuries.

 **WHING!**

Luffy went flying across the clearing and swung passed the other side of the tree he'd grabbed onto.

"Sorry about this, giant-guy," Luffy apologized before he launched himself back in the other direction. "GUM… GUM… ROOCKEEET!"

 **SHOOOOOM!**

Luffy blasted off in the opposite direction and slammed into Dorry's stomach at full speed.

 **WHAAAAM!**

"UUUUGGHH!" Dorry's groaned and spat up blood from Luffy's rocketing into his injured stomach. "You're… a Devil Fruit User… how careless of me…" The giant's last move as he fell to the ground was to throw himself down on top of Luffy so he could at least squish his opponent with his last movement.

 **BOOOOOOM!**

"LUFFY!" Vivi cried out as she ran over and found the pirate embedded in the ground under Dorry's leg.

"Huff… huff…" Luffy gasped for breath as he rolled out from under his fallen foe, "How is he?"

"I think he'll be alright," Vivi replied, "He'll be safer unconscious like this. He was beyond reasoning at this point. You did the right thing."

Luffy sat up and growled, "Now I'm really pissed. Someone interfered in this manly battle of honor." Luffy turned and stared off into the trees. "I hope Sabo finds them. I'd probably just kick the guy's ass. Any damage Sabo does will be a lot more permanent."

But then the worst thing possible happened…

 **KRAKA-THOOOOM!**

Luffy and Vivi yelped in alarm as a familiar volcano erupted. "THE VOLCANO!"

* * *

 **KRAKA-THOOOOOM!**

"GABABABABABA!" Brogy laughed as he sat outside his home with Usopp and Nami, "The call to battle! Today's been an exciting day!"

"You're going to fight again?" Nami questioned, "But what about your injuries?"

"That wouldn't stop him either," Brogy replied. "Making excuses in a relentless battle to the death would only tarnish one's honor! GABABABABABA!"

"GIVE IT YOUR ALL, MASTER BROGY!" Usopp encouraged the proud giant that he'd taken a liking to.

"GABABABABA!" Brogy laughed, "I'LL GET HIM GOOD THIS TIME, USOPP!"

"They sure do like their pointless fighting," Nami remarked.

"IT'S NOT POINTLESS, YOU IGNORAMUS!" Usopp snapped, "This is a man's battle! A fight between proud warriors! I wanna be just like them some day!"

"Yeah, whatever," Nami replied, "Let's just head back to the ship. We can't afford to wait around here for a year so we'll have to meet up with the others and decide what we're going to do instead."

"Hold on!" Usopp protested, "I'll proudly admit that I would be completely useless against all those dinosaurs and monsters in the jungle! Therefore it would be impossible for us to get back to the ship. So we should just wait right here until Master Brogy returns from his battle."

"What happened to all that proud talk you were just spouting out?" Nami challenged him.

"I said I want so be like them _some day_ ," Usopp reminded her, "I'm not at that stage yet. But one day I will! Mark my words! One day I'll be a proud warrior like those giants and I'd be proud of the life I led until the day I finally I die. And when they lay me to rest and mark my grave it will be inscribed _'Here lies Usopp… A Brave Warrior of the Sea'_!"

"Yeah, yeah, just try to become a reliable warrior before we all die of old age," Nami requested as she grabbed the sniper and began to drag him off into the jungle. "We know that Luffy, Vivi and the World's Weirdest Couple are at the other giant's house. We can at least meet up with them there."

* * *

 **THOOM!**

The ground shook outside Dorry's cave as the giant planted his hands and forced himself back up.

"Here stands Dorry… a proud warrior worthy of Elbaf's Honor!" the giant intoned, "KOFF! KOFF!"

"Mr. Dorry! Stop!" Vivi pleaded, "You can't fight in your condition!"

"Don't make me fight you again, giant-guy!" Luffy warned him, "Your battle's been interfered with!"

Dorry responded by grabbing hold of his house and lifting the hole-filled mountain – which apparently _wasn't_ a mountain – off of the ground and dropping it on top of Luffy.

 **BOOOOM!**

"HEY! GET YOUR HOUSE OFFA ME!" Luffy yelled as he was pinned down by the weight of the 'mountain'.

"You can't stop me from going," Dorry told them, "It may have been a hundred years since our battle started… but to run from a battle that is underway would mean running away from being a warrior. And to no longer be a warrior is to no longer be myself. I would rather die on my feet in battle than to live in disgrace and hide like a coward."

Dorry bowed his head, "I apologize for doubting you, little friends. I know now that this is merely Elbaf's Judgment. This means that I have not been blessed with Divine Protection."

"ENOUGH ABOUT GODS AND DIVINE INTERVENTION!" Luffy argued, "YOU CAN'T JUST GO OFF AND DIE BECAUSE YOU THINK YOUR GOD IS TELLING YOU TO! SOMEBODY INTERFERED IN YOUR DUEL! AND A DUEL THAT'S BEEN INTERFERED WITH BY A THIRD PARTY IS NO LONGER A PROPER DUEL!"

"SILENCE!" Dorry snapped, "A little brat who has lived but ten or twenty years could not possibly comprehend Elbaf's Divine Words."

"SHUT UP AND GET ME OUTTA HERE!" Luffy hollered.

Dorry turned to see Brogy approaching.

"GABABABABABA! Dorry! After all these years of drinking only water, that rum must have been especially refreshing, right?"

"Of course!" Dorry replied, "It tasted of God!"

"GABABABABABA!" Brogy laughed, "Aren't you a poet! HERE I COME!"

 **BOOOOOOOM!**

The giants once again collided. And despite his internal injuries from Mr. 5's bomb and the additional injuries from his fight with Luffy, Dorry managed to withstand Brogy's opening blow.

"GRRRAAAAAAHHHHH!" Luffy screamed out in rage. He scratched and clawed at the dirt as he struggled fruitlessly to escape from the mountain keeping him pinned to the ground. "THIS ISN'T RIGHT! WHO WOULD DO SOMETHING SO UNDERHANDED TO SUCH A PROUD WARRIOR!?"

Vivi glanced around her and suddenly realized that someone was missing, "Where's Carue?"

* * *

"Aw crap… I'm lost," Zoro realized as he stared around the jungle in confusion while dragging a dead triceratops behind him. "I feel like I've seen that tree before… was I supposed to take a left at that tree with the vine wrapped around it?"

Zoro turned and spotted Nami leaning against a tree with her arms folded smugly across her chest.

"Oh great, here to mock me are you?" Zoro asked the Navigator. "Fine, but can it wait until we get back to the ship?"

Zoro dragged the dead dinosaur over to his crewmate, "Believe it or not… I'm actually happy to see you. But… uh… what're you doing so far away from the ship?"

"…" Nami gave no response.

"Hello?"

 **GLOOOOOP!**

"WAAAAH!"

* * *

"AAAAAAAAAAHHH!" the real Nami and Usopp screamed in terror as they ran through the jungle. "DIIINOOSAAAUUUURR!"

"I DON'T WANNA DIIIIEEE!" Usopp yelped as he put on another burst of speed and raced ahead.

 **ZZZZIIP!**

"Huff… huff…" Nami stopped and panted, "There's no one better at running away than that guy."

Nami looked behind her and thankfully couldn't see the dinosaur that had been chasing them. But then she spotted a familiar pirate.

"Luffy!" Nami called out. The Captain had a wide smile and his arm was raised in greeting. Nami went over to him, "Usopp and I were just coming to see you guys. But we got attacked by a dinosaur and that big chicken ran off on me."

"…" Luffy gave no response.

"Uh… Luffy?"

 **GLOOOOOP!**

"KYYAAAAA!"

* * *

"COME OUT, NOSE PICKER!" Sabo shouted as he stalked through the jungle with Bonnie Anne poised to fire and scanned the huge trees for any sign of the Bomb Man. "I KNOW YOU'RE THERE!"

Sabo growled lowly as he made his way passed a fallen log, "I'M NOT GONNA SETTLE FOR YOUR HAND! THIS TIME I'M GONNA SHOOT YOUR BALLS OFF! YOU PROBABLY WON'T EVEN NOTICE THEY'RE GONE, YOU SACKLESS COWARD!"

 **KER-CHOW!**

Bonnie fired off a shot and her round whizzed passed a familiar blue-haired figure.

"Princess? What the heck are you doing here?" Sabo wondered as he approached the princess. "Listen, if you thought what I did to the nose picker back at Whiskey Peak was bad… you don't wanna stick around and see what I do to him now."

"…" Vivi gave no response.

 **KER-CHOW!**

Bonnie fired another shot and blew off Vivi's head.

"WHAT THE HELL!?" Sabo exclaimed. Then he noticed that the Princess' body had remained in the same position despite her head being blown off. "Oh… wait a minute… she didn't move…" Sabo frowned, "Then that means… IT'S A TRAP!"

 **GLOOOP!**

Sabo was thrown against a tree by a wave of white wax that quickly hardened around his limbs.

" **CANDLE LOCK!"**

* * *

Usopp kept running through the jungle until he suddenly came to the horrible realization that he was running alone.

"Nami? Nami?" he paused and looked back over his shoulder.

The Navigator was gone.

"NOOOOO!" Usopp shrieked in horror then took off running with renewed purpose, "LUUUUFFFYYYYY!"

Usopp raced through the jungle and finally arrived at Dorry's house. But in his frantic haste he tripped over a rock and crashed face-first into a bigger rock.

 **KRAK!**

Usopp pushed himself back up, wiped the blood from his face, and spotted his captain pinned under a mountain. He paid the odd situation no mind and ran over to him.

"LUFFY! IT'S HORRIBLE!" Usopp cried, "NAMI WAS EATEN BY A DINOSAUR!"

"WHAT!? FOR REAL!?" Luffy shouted.

"I'M SO SORRY!" Usopp wailed, "We were running through the jungle being chase by a dinosaur! One second she was there running beside me! And the next she was gone! WHAT DO I DO!? HOW DO I LIVE WITH MYSELF!? I LET MY NAKAMA GET EATEN BY A DINOSAUR!"

"Wait, hold on!" Vivi interrupted when she realized that she needed to be the voice of reason for the two excitable pirates. "Did you actually _see her_ get eaten?"

"Of course not!" Usopp snapped, "I was way too scared to look back! If it wasn't a dinosaur… then I could have been another monster!"

"Or… it could have been Baroque Works," Vivi suggested. "Miss All Sunday said she'd be sending Mr. 3 after us. And Mr. Dorry's rum exploded so we know that Mr. 5 is on the island too."

"WAIT! THE RUM _EXPLODED_!?" Usopp interrupted.

"Yes… but he went off to fight despite his injuries," Vivi told him.

"NO! NOOO!" Usopp yelled as he realized what that meant for the giants he idolized, "THIS IS HORRIBLE! THOSE TWO HAVE BEEN FIGHTING WILL ALL THEIR STRENGTH FOR ALL THESE YEARS! IT'S THE MOST PROUD BATTLE IN THE WORLD! IT CAN'T END LIKE THIS!"

* * *

 **BOOOOOM!**

 **BOOOOOM!**

 **BOOOOOM!**

Brogy's ax sounded like thunder as it collided with Dorry's shield over and over again.

"WHAT THE MATTER, DORRY?" Brogy called out, "GETTING TIRED!?"

"Nonsense!" Dorry retorted as he struggled to block Brogy's thunderous blows. "I'm as strong as ever!"

"Dorry the Blue Ogre is certainly tenacious," Mr. 3 remarked as he watched the battling titans from down below. Miss Goldenweek was nearby nibbling on a rice cracker. "Perhaps I'll lend a hand…"

 **GLOOOP!**

Mr. 3 extended his hand a white liquid wax oozed out of it and collected in a puddle in front of him.

"UGH!" Dorry grunted as he stepped in the wax puddle and lost his footing.

"DORRY… YOU'RE WIDE OPEN!" Brogy shouted as he lashed out and cleaved his opponent across the chest with all his strength.

 **CHUUNK!**

Brogy smiled a grim smile as he best friend fell. "After a century… our fight is finally over…"

* * *

"…" Luffy, Usopp and Vivi watched in horror as Dorry's blood splashed above the tree line like a geyser.

They all knew that the century-long battle had been settled. Not because one giant was stronger. Not because of Elbaf's Judgment but because of outside interference from a scheming scumbag.

" _This is merely Elbaf's Judgment," Dorry had said before heading off to his demise. "This means that I have not been blessed with divine protection."_

"HOOOOOW DAAAAAREEE YOOOOOUUU!" Luffy hollered, "SHOW YOURSELF!"

* * *

"Mr. 3… did you hear something just now?" Miss Goldenweek asked. It sounded like someone shouting.

"Please," Mr. 3 scoffed as he drank a celebratory cup of tea, "It's probably some poor wretch of an animal howling in the jungle."

Up overhead, tears were running down Brogy's face as he stood over his fallen foe.

"Seventy three thousand four hundred sixty seven battles…" Brogy recounted, "And one victory."

Mr. 3 finally decided to make his presence known, "Hmmhmm, it must be nice to be such a simple fool that cries tears from being too happy. I guess I should be the first to offer my congratulations."

Brogy looked back at the smarmy little man, "You think these are tears of joy?" Brogy growled at Mr. 3. "WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW? WHO ARE YOU ANYWAY?"

"I am Mr. 3," Mr. 3 introduced himself, "My apologies for only giving you my codename. I'm a sculptor by trade, you see." He motioned to his partner, "And this is my assistant Miss Goldenweek. She's young but is a highly skilled realist painter." Mr. 3 grinned, "And _you_ , my giant friend, are now my prisoner."

"WHAT!?" Brogy shouted as he looked down and found his feet stuck in a puddle of white wax. "WHAT IS THIS?" The giant struggled but the wax had hardened to be as hard as steel.

"CANDLE JACKET!"

* * *

"Alright, Luffy," Usopp resolved, "I might not know who these Mr. 3 or Mr. 5 guys are but I'll find them and take care of them no matter what!"

"I'll go with you," Vivi offered.

"Good…" Usopp said, "I might need some back up."

" **Kyahahaha! You won't have to look very far."**

Luffy, Usopp and Vivi all turned to see Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine standing at the edge of the clearing. The Bomb Man had a beaten Carue tucked under his arm.

"IT WAS YOU!" Luffy yelled as he glared at the two Officer Agents. "LAST TIME I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU WERE! NOW I'VE GOT A REASON SO I'LL PUNCH YOU A HUNDRED TIMES HARDER!"

"You can have this back," Mr. 5 stated as he tossed the tenderized duck away from. "He was completely useless to us anyway."

"HOW COULD YOU!?" Vivi yelled, "CARUE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS!"

"Kyahahaha!" Miss Valentine cackled, "We were told to use the bird to lure you away from your pirate friends, Princess. But that dumb bird refused to cry out for you no matter how hard we hit him. Completely useless."

"But it turns out we didn't even need to bother," Mr. 5 commented, "Since it looks like Straw Hat is already trapped."

"Carue…" Vivi cried out as she ran to her duck's side, "I'm so sorry you got hurt again because of me."

"SO IT WAS YOU THAT PUT THE BOMB IN THE GIANT'S RUM!" Usopp exclaimed.

"Yeah, that was me," Mr. 5 answered. "Who's this guy? Was he on the list?"

Miss Valentine shook her head, "Nope. But I guess we can still eliminate him anyway. Kyahahahaha!"

"YOU INTERFERED IN THE GIANTS' DUEL!" Usopp yelled at them.

"I'LL KICK BOTH YOUR ASSES!" Luffy hollered.

" _You're_ the ones who will be eliminated!" Vivi snapped as she stood up and drew her weapons.

"So you're actually going to try and fight us yourself this time, Miss Wednesday?" Mr. 5 taunted.

"Kyahahahahaha!" Miss Valentine laughed, "Your strong blonde friend isn't here to save you this time. You don't stand a chance against Officer Agents like us."

"SURE FIRE… GUNPOWDER STAR!" Usopp shouted as he fired at Mr. 5.

 **CHOO!**

Usopp's round exploded on the Bomb Man.

 **KA-BOOOOM!**

"PEACOCK SLASHER!" Vivi yelled as she flung her bladed jewels at Miss Valentine.

 **SKISH!**

Miss Valentine lowered her weight and launched herself high up into the air.

" **Spitball… Cannon…"**

 **PTOI!**

A wad of spit flew out of the explosion around Mr. 5 and struck Usopp chest… then exploded on impact.

 **KA-BOOOOOOM!**

"USOPP!" Luffy cried out in alarm as he saw his Master Gunner left charred in the wake of the explosion.

"You have the prick with the rifle to thank for that one," Mr. 5 stated as he looked at his wax fingers and was pleased to see they hadn't melted in the explosion. "I can't use my usual attack because of him."

"10,000 KILO PRESS!"

Miss Valentine dropped out of the sky and crashed down on Usopp.

 **BOOOOOM!**

Usopp was left buried up to his neck in the ground as the blonde Officer Agent climbed off of him. "Kyahahahaha! Useless!"

"WHY YOU!" VIvi howled as she charged Mr. 5.

 **PTOI!**

The Bomb Man spat at the ground in front of the charging Princess and caused an explosion.

 **KA-BOOOOM!**

The ground exploded under Vivi's feet and sent her flying towards Mr. 5 who casually reached out and caught her by the throat with his new hand.

"That's enough out of you," Mr. 5 said, "We're not here to kill you, Princess. We're here under orders from Mr. 3 simply to retrieve you."

"Wait… your hand…" Vivi realized as she looked down at the hand clenched around her throat.

"Mr. 3 fixed it for me," Mr. 5 explained, "He's got Devil Fruit Powers from the Wax Wax Fruit. He's a Candle Man. And he was willing to give me some replacement digits if I put a bomb in the giant's rum."

"SO IT WAS _HIS_ IDEA!" Luffy realized, "WHERE'S MR. 3? I'LL KICK HIS ASS!"

* * *

"Damn you…" Brogy growled as he now found himself pinned down to the ground by Mr. 3's wax. "What are you doing to me!?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Mr. 3 replied as the end of his '3'-shaped top knot lit up with a flame like a candle. "I'm about to turn you into my latest artistic masterpiece!"

* * *

 **KA-BOOOOOOM!**

Vivi was restrained by Miss Valentine and could only watch in horror as Mr. 5 blew up Luffy. She bit her lip and surveyed the beaten Carue, the buried Usopp and the blown up Luffy.

"Kyahahahahaha!" Miss Valentine laughed, "So even the one worth thirty million was no match for us."

"Consider that repayment for what you did to me at Whiskey Peak," Mr. 5 told Luffy. "You wannabe pirates made a big mistake in sticking your noses into our organizations business. Mr. 3 has already captured the rifle-bastard, the swordsman and the girl. I'm hoping he'll let me settle things up with the blonde… but if not I'll be sure to get a front row seat to him dying."

"Hmph…" Luffy grunted, "You guys got Sabo and Zoro? Then you're dead meat."

"So you can still talk after taking a Kick Bomb to the face," Mr. 5 noted.

"Got to hell!" Luffy spat defiantly then he actually spat on Mr. 5's shoe.

 **PTOI!**

"Kyahahaha… That was dumb…" Miss Valentine remarked as Mr. 5 glanced down at the spit on his shoe then lashed out and kicked Luffy in the face. The Bomb Man's foot exploded on impact.

 **KA-BOOOOOM!**

But Mr. 5 didn't stop with just one kick. His foot exploded on Luffy another three times.

 **KA-BOOOOOM-BOOOOOM-BOOOOOOM!**

"DIE ALREADY, YOU STUPID STUBBORN BASTARD!" Mr. 5 yelled when he finally stopped his barrage.

"…" Luffy was silent while Vivi looked in shock.

Mr. 5 stuck his hands in his pockets and turned away from his latest victim, "Let's go, Miss Valentine."

"LUFFY! CARUE! USOPP!" Vivi called out for help as the two Officer Agents dragged her away.

* * *

"Well now I know how it feels to be a candle on a birthday cake," Zoro remarked.

Vivi, Sabo, Zoro and Nami had all been placed shin deep in a structure of hardened wax. There was a wax pillar above them with a wax bowl that had a smiley face engraved on the side. A number of candles were stuck in the rim of the bowl.

"What's with the eye?" Zoro asked when he spotted Sabo's black eye. "Did they rough you up before they trapped you?"

"Nah, the wax guy was too much of a spineless coward to try something like that when he caught me," Sabo replied. "And the kid was the one that grabbed Bonnie so I didn't kick her in the face when I had the chance. The black eye is actually from the Princess."

"I said I was sorry!" Vivi reminded him.

"FEAST YOUR EYES ON MY CANDLE SERVICE SET!" Mr. 3 crowed. "YOU WILL ALL BECOME MY ULTIMATE ARTISTIC MASTERPIECE! The wax mist that is sprinkling down on your heads will eventually turn you into wax figures. Your expressions of horror will be so genuine that even my Wax Wax Powers couldn't hope to copy them! YOU'LL GIVE YOUR LIVES FOR THE SAKE OF MY ART!"

"NO WAY!" Nami shouted, "WE DON'T WANNA BE PART OF YOUR SICK ART!" She looked over and spotted Brogy pinned to the ground by wax, "BROGY! DON'T JUST LAY THERE OR YOU'LL BE TURNED INTO A WAX FIGURE TOO!"

"Now that guy's gonna be a big statue," Zoro commented as he noticed the giant for the first time.

"Brogy… The rum you gave to Dorry had a bomb in it," Sabo informed the trapped giant. "It was all that guy's idea. He interfered in your battle of honor."

"A bomb?" Brogy repeated. He thought back to what Dorry had said during their battle.

" _After all these years of drinking only water, that rum must have been especially refreshing, right?"_

" _Of course! It tasted of God!"_

"Hmph, don't bother with him," Mr. 3 grunted, "He didn't even notice his friend's injuries. He killed the friend that had lived here with him for a hundred years! He was so proud of himself that he shed tears of joy! And now that he knows its too late for that simpleton to do anything about it."

"I knew…" Brogy confessed, "I knew from the moment that I first swung my ax that Dorry was hiding something from me."

"That's preposterous!" Mr. 3 scoffed, "If you knew then why didn't you stop? You didn't hold back at all. You killed your friend in cold blood."

"YOU'RE WRONG!" Brogy growled, "A dishonorable little runt like you would know nothing of duels of honor! You could never comprehend the reason behind my tears! Dorry fought despite all of his injuries. How could I dishonor a warrior who kept fighting despite the pain he bared? HOW COULD I SHOW PITY TO SOMEONE WHO WENT TO SUCH LENGTHS TO FIGHT!?"

"EH!?" Mr. 3 flinched back at Brogy vehement shout. The giant had gotten riled up again.

"I'll pay my respects to my friend Dorry by squashing that little punk like the bug he is!" Brogy snarled as he began to struggle against his wax bonds.

 **PTOI!**

 **KA-BOOOOOOOOM!**

An explosion engulfed Brogy and his struggles stopped.

"That big annoying freak's shouts were getting on my nerves," Mr. 5 growled as he stood behind Mr. 3 with Miss Valentine.

Miss Goldenweek had decided that she didn't need to be involved anymore and had set up a picnic blanket complete with a collection of rice crackers and a new pot of tea. Bonnie Anne was set on the side of the picnic blanket as a captive guest for the tea party.

"Hey! Hold on!" Sabo complained as he looked to the side and spotted Zoro's three swords sheathed at his waist. "How come you let him keep his swords but took away my rifle?"

"Do you think I'm a fool?" Mr. 3 asked, "He can't do anything while he's trapped there but you could still shoot your rifle. My young partner Miss Goldenweek will be holding your weapon for safekeeping."

Sabo stared passed Mr. 3, Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine and glared right at Miss Goldenweek. "Listen up, you little brat! If you get so much as _one crumb_ on that rifle… I'll come over there and kick your ass!"

"SABO!" Nami objected, "She's a kid!"

"Somehow that doesn't surprise me," Zoro remarked, "He clearly lost his fight to the Princess so now he's set his sights lower."

"Screw you!" Sabo snapped but then looked thoughtful, "Although… Nami does have a point… she's a little kid. I don't know if I could morally beat the crap out of her…"

"..." Miss Goldenweek blinked at the trapped pirate's attempted threat.

"Yeah… still a kid…" Sabo mused, "Okay! New threat! Kid, if you get so much as _one crumb_ on that rifle… I'll come over there AND GIVE YOU THE WORST SPANKING OF YOUR LIFE!"

"EEP!" Miss Goldenweek squeaked while Nami flushed and Vivi looked confused.

"What's a spanking?" the Princess inquired.

"It's where they slap you on the ass until you can't sit without it stinging," Nami informed her.

"Oh!" Vivi gasped and flushed faintly.

"Why does it not surprise me that the pristine Princess doesn't know what a spanking is while the bratty adopted thief does," Sabo commented.

"I'm not that pristine..." Vivi mumbled.

"What's that supposed to mean!?" Nami challenged him.

"It takes one to know one," Sabo replied, "Did you get fed soap too? Luffy knew this lady that ran a tavern and whenever heard me, Ace or Luffy curse she'd stick a bar of soap in our mouth."

"Don't be ridiculous," Nami said, "Bellemere was poor. She couldn't afford to waste soap like that."

"ENOUGH!" Mr. 3 scolded his captives, "Don't make light of the situation I have you trapped in! You'll all be turned into wax figures and I'll send you off to Mr. 0 as proof of a job well done. The four of you are worth an even one hundred million berries from my organization."

"Taking your evil villain death trap seriously would mean I'd have to consider you a legitimate threat," Sabo retorted. "You said that you wanted us to be trapped with looks of anguish on our faces. Well, call me petty and spiteful, but I'm going to make sure you don't get your way by dying with a big goofy smile on my face!"

" **No one's dying except him…"** Brogy growled as he regained consciousness and renewed his struggles. The wax encasing his body began to crack under the strain.

 **Krek… krek…**

"Looks like I'll have to completely immobilize you," Mr. 3 resolved, "WAX WAX ARTS… SWORD!"

 **GLOOP!**

Mr. 3 used his wax powers to create a massive broadsword that was bigger than his own body and impaled it through Brogy's hand.

 **SHUNK!**

Mr. 3 quickly repeated this process with the giant's other limbs.

 **SHUNK! SHUNK! SHUNK!**

"Now if you move, your hands and feet will be torn off!" Mr. 3 taunted.

"YOU MONSTER!" Vivi shrieked at him.

"SPEED UP, MY CANDLE SERVICE SET!" Mr. 3 shouted at his creation, "TURN THEM ALL INTO WAX FIGURES! FUHAHAHAHA!"

The bowl on the Candle Service Set started to revolve even faster and the wax mist became wax rain.

"KOFF! KOFF!" Nami coughed and clutched her throat. "My chest hurts!"

"The wax is getting in our lungs!" Vivi wheezed, "At this rate we'll be turned into wax figures from the inside out!"

"…" Sabo folded his arms across his chest and continued to smirk defiantly.

"Hey giant, you can still move, right?" Zoro asked.

"Huh?" Brogy grunted.

"Tearing your arms and legs off would hurt like hell," Zoro admitted, "But a dead body is useless. I can still move…" Zoro drew two of his swords. "Once I cut off my legs… can I count on you to help me crush these bastards?"

"YOU'RE GOING TO CUT OFF YOUR OWN FEET!?" Nami shrieked. "HOW CAN YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT IN A SITUATION LIKE THIS!?"

"It's because we're in a situation like this that I'm saying it," Zoro told her. "You got a better plan?"

"…" Sabo shrugged then shook his head.

"It'll be useless!" Vivi berated the Boatswain, "Even if you do manage to cut yourself free and get down they'll catch you again in an instant!"

"I won't know unless I try," Zoro stated, "Just standing here will only bring us certain death. So if we're gonna die… we might as well put up as messy a struggle as we can and fight to our last breath."

"That swordsman's gone insane," Mr. 5 realized, "That's the only explanation."

"It's obviously a bluff," Mr. 3 scoffed, "There's no way he'd try something so ridiculous."

"GABABABABA!" Brogy let out a hearty laugh. "I had almost lost my will to fight. But I'll gladly go along with spirit like yours!"

"HOW DO YOU GUYS EXPECT TO FIGHT WITHOUT YOUR LEGS?!" Nami demanded.

"Who knows," Zoro admitted, "But I'll fight to win!"

"WHAT IS WITH THESE PEOPLE!?" Mr. 3 wondered, "THEY'RE INSANE!"

"WAIT! ME TOO!" Vivi suddenly called out, "Cut me loose too! I'll fight with you!"

"VIVI!" Nami exclaimed.

"…" Sabo rolled his eyes.

"LET'S DO THIS!" Zoro resolved as he pointed his blades at his ankles.

"YOU WON'T ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING!" Mr. 3 hollered, "I'LL JUST KILL YOU ALL!"

" **RAAAAAAHHHHHH!"**

Everyone looked up in surprise as Luffy, Usopp and Carue burst out of the trees.

"YOU THERE!" Luffy bellowed, "GET READY TO HAVE YOUR ASSES KICKED! USOPP! BIRD! LET'S DO THIS!"

"RIGHT!" Usopp cheered.

" **QUACK!"** Carue crowed.

"LuffY!" Nami exclaimed.

"Usopp?" Zoro called out in surprise.

"Carue!" Vivi gasped.

"MASTER BROGY! WE'LL AVENGE YOUR AGONY!" Usopp vowed.

"LUFFY!" Nami yelled, "BEAT THESE LOSERS' FACES INTO AN UNRECOGNIZABLE PULP AND SEND THEM FLYING FAR, FAR AWAY!"

 **Pow!**

Luffy punched his hand, "You've got it. These guys defiled the giants' honor duel!"

"Hmm… so you're the Captain," Mr. 3 observed, "The boss offered a thirty million berries reward for killing you. I must admit that his standards have fallen…"

"Hey, you've got weird hair!" Luffy noted, "It's a '3' and it's on fire!"

"SHUT UP!" Mr. 3 berated him.

"LUFFY! DESTROY THE PILLAR OR WE'LL BE TURNING TO WAX FIGURES!" Nami ordered.

"Oh… are you guys in trouble?" Luffy asked.

"Nah… we're fine," Zoro assured him.

"ZORO! YOUR LEGS ARE BLEEDING!" Nami yelped when she spotted the blood pooling around the swordsman's feet.

"Yeah… I must've hacked about halfway through," Zoro admitted.

"YOU CALL THAT FINE!?" Nami berated him.

"…" Sabo glared in annoyance at the red puddle that was starting to spread towards him.

"What's with you?" Zoro demanded. "I'm still waiting to hear _your plan_."

Sabo glared at Zoro then finally opened his mouth and answered, "I've been holding my breath since he increased the spinning speed. The wax can't get in my lungs if I don't breathe it in. But for now I can go with Plan Luffy…" Sabo took one deep breath and shouted out to his brother. "LUFFY! FORGET ABOUT THE PILLAR! ATTACK THE SMILEY BOWL AT THE TOP! IT'S DRIPPING WAX THAT'S GONNA KILL US!"

"Oh… that thing's gonna kill you? Why didn't you say so?" Luffy questioned, "Sure thing! I don't know what that smiley pumpkin face is… but I'll smash it!"

"We'll see about that!" Mr. 3 sneered as he stepped in between Luffy and his artwork.

"I'm ready, Luffy!" Usopp announced, "You'll see a whole different Usopp today!"

 **Shink!**

Zoro drew _Wado Ichimonji_ and pointed it up over his head.

"What're you doing now?" Nami asked.

"If I'm gonna die… I want it to be in this pose," Zoro answered.

"…" Sabo was back to holding his breath. He looked up at Zoro's sword in annoyance then folded his arms across his chest and glared petulantly at Miss Goldenweek and the rifle on her picnic blanket.

"Instead of talking about poses can't you do something about the bleeding?" Nami requested. "It's making me nauseous."

"Then don't look at it," Zoro advised, "There's nothing I can do at this point."

Vivi stared at her three fellow captives in surprise, _"Even though we're far from escaping our situation... they're still not showing an ounce of fear… The second Luffy arrived their spirits all lifted…"_

Miss Goldenweek paused in eating a rice cracker and looked over at Mr. 3, "These people don't seem overly concerned about their situation."

"The same applies to you as well, Miss Goldenweek," Mr. 3 informed the girl on the picnic blanket. "They're not taking us seriously. But if you ask me, that boy doesn't seem dependable at all."

"Mr. 3, let us take care of him," Mr. 5 offered.

"Don't be ridiculous," Mr. 3 refused, "You claimed you took care of him earlier but it appears as though your attacks only angered him. He's clearly too much for you to handle. You two can have the rabble behind him. I'll show you the gap in our power when I add a Straw Hat Luffy figure to my collection."

"ENOUGH TALK!" Usopp shouted, "YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR! PREPARE TO DIE!"

" **QUACK!"**

Usopp and Carue quickly retreated and hid behind some trees, "OKAY LUFFY! WE'LL BACK YOU UP?"

"Huh? You say something?" Luffy asked.

"Looks like we don't get to fight then, little man," Brogy remarked to Zoro.

"Yeah," Zoro agreed, "We can let them handle the fighting for now."

"LET'S GET THIS STARTED!" Mr. 3 exclaimed, "CANDLE LOCK!"

 **GLOOOP!**

Luffy was caught off guard which allowed Mr. 3's stream of wax to ensnare his legs. The wax hardened into a candle-shaped log that bound his legs together.

"HE GOT HIM!" Nami gasped.

 **Whap!**

"…" Sabo slapped his forehead in annoyance.

"What the heck?" Luffy yelped as he dropped to the ground and stared at his locked legs in surprise. "My legs look like a hammer now…" Luffy smirked, "THIS'LL BE USEFUL!"

"That was too easy," Mr. 3 remarked, "Now I'll get his hands… CANDLE LOCK!"

 **GLOOOP!**

 **WOING!**

Mr. 3 shot another stream of wax at Luffy but quickly stretched out his arm and grabbed onto the handle of one of the wax swords impaling Brogy's hand and stretched himself out of the way.

 **SHOOOOM!**

"Whoa!" Mr. 3 dodged to the side as Luffy whizzed passed him. "Where's he aiming?"

"Sorry about this, giant-guy," Luffy apologized as he swung himself around the handle of the sword.

 **WHING-WHING-WHING!**

"Uggh…" Brogy groaned in pain as the sword wiggled from the pull of Luffy swinging around it.

"WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING!?" Zoro wondered.

"LUFFY!" Vivi gasped.

"…" Sabo's eyes widened in surprise as he glanced from Luffy to the spinning bowl up above them.

"GUM… GUM… HAMMER!" Luffy went flying legs-first off the sword and smashed his 'hammer' into the smiling face of Mr. 3's Candle Service Set.

 **WHAAAAAAAM!**

The wax lock on Luffy's legs shattered and the spinning top of the Candle Service Set was knocked clear off of the pillar and toppled a massive tree as it crashed to the ground.

 **BOOOOOOOOM!**

"HE DID IT!" Nami cheered, "THE BOWL'S DESTROYED!"

"Phew…" Sabo let out a sigh of relief, "Good thing he attacked the bowl and not the pillar like you were telling him too. We're safe now and can breathe freely. We'll worry about getting out of here once Luffy finishes beating the stuffing out of the candle-guy."

"Speak for yourself," Zoro said, "My arm's stuck."

"And I can't feel my hands," Vivi reported.

"Well then you shouldn't have wasted so much breath screaming for help," Sabo pointed out.

Vivi, Sabo, Zoro, Nami and even Brogy all had splotches of white wax covering various parts of their bodies but for now they were no longer in mortal peril.

"YOU RUFFIAN!" Mr. 3 shouted as he glared at Luffy, "HOW DARE YOU DESTROY MY MASTERPIECE! HOW DARE YOU INTERFERE! WAX WAX ARTS… HARPOON!"

 **GLOOOP!**

Mr. 3 hurled a giant wax arrow at Luffy.

"He's wide open!" Usopp observed as he fired at Mr. 3 while he was still attacking Luffy, "TAKE THIS! GUNPOWDER STAR!"

 **GULP!**

Mr. 5 stepped in front of Mr. 3, opened his mouth and swallowed Usopp's round.

 **BOOOM!**

The Bomb Man's stomach expanded when Usopp's round exploded but he remained unharmed.

 **SKISH!**

At the same time, Luffy threw himself out of the way of Mr. 3's harpoon which kept going and smashed the handle of the sword.

 **KRESH!**

"HE ATE IT!?" Usopp exclaimed while Luffy landed safely on the ground.

"That tasted nasty," Mr. 5 commented, "You use cheap gunpowder."

"GOTCHA NOW!" Luffy exclaimed as he shot his hands at Mr. 3, "GUM GUM… BAZOOOKA!"

"CANDLE WALL!"

 **GLOOOP!**

Mr. 3 formed a large wax wall in front of him which remained unscathed as Luffy's fists smashed in it.

 **WHAAM!**

"HEY! KNOCK THAT OFF!" Luffy complained.

"That's my line!" Mr. 3 retorted, "I won't allow you to get in the way of my plans! CANDLE LOCK!"

 **GLOOP!**

"Again?" Luffy questioned when he recognized the attack. "Wait a minute…" The rubber man smirked and stuck his arm into the wax stream and a candle-shaped block formed on his fist. "SHISHISHISHI! THANKS FOR THE HAMMER!" Luffy pulled his wax-coated arm back then threw it. "GUUUM… GUUUM…"

"CANDLE WALL!" Mr. 3 quickly erected a wax wall to shield himself.

 **GLOOP!**

"HAAAMMEEEEERR!"

Luffy's wax hammer smashed into the wall.

 **WHAAAAM!**

"HA!" Mr. 3 taunted.

 **KRAK-KRAK-KRAK…**

Mr. 3's eyes widened behind his glasses as the wax wall started to crack.

 **KROOSH!**

Luffy's hand burst through a hole as the wax hammer on his arm shattered the wax wall. Luffy's fist smashed into Mr. 3's face.

 **KA-POW!**

"WHOA!" Miss Valentine yelped and ducked as Mr. 3 went flying over her head out of the clearing. "That little brat beat Mr. 3! He's stronger than he looks!"

"I felt Straw Hat's punch back at Whiskey Peak," Mr. 5 stated, "I doubt that smart-ass could take it."

"Nice hit!" Sabo exclaimed.

"I wish I could've done that myself," Brogy admitted.

"GREAT, LUFFY!" Nami cheered, "NOW SMASH THE REST OF THIS THING AND GET US OUT OF HERE!"

" **No,"** Luffy refused.

"STOP FOOLING AROUND!" Nami berated him. "GET US OUT OF HERE!"

"I don't wanna," Luffy replied.

" **Colors Trap… Betrayal Black…"** Miss Goldenweek intoned.

"What the heck just happened?" Usopp wondered. "We've gotta get them out of there…"

"You're too late," Mr. 5 told him, "Your friend's already fallen into a trap."

"That's right," Miss Valentine confirmed, "Take a look at his feet…"

"His feet…" Usopp questioned as he lowered his goggles and spotted a black symbol under Luffy's feet. "Huh… there's a painted symbol…"

"That's no ordinary paint," Miss Valentine informed him.

"In short…" Mr. 5 concluded, "You and your friends are doomed. SPIT CANNON!"

 **PTOI!**

"RUN FOR IT CARUE!" Usopp screamed as he and Carue raced out of the way of Mr. 5 spit which exploded on the ground.

 **KA-BOOOOM!**

"HEY! WAIT FOR ME TO GET ON FIRST!" Usopp hollered as he chased after the terrified duck.

"After them!" Mr. 5 growled as he and Miss Valentine chased the duo out of the clearing.

"THIS IS YOUR DOING, MISS GOLDENWEEK!" Vivi realized.

"I kind of figured," Sabo said, "She's the only one left."

"That's my Colors Trap Betrayal Black…" Miss Goldenweek explained, "Anyone who touches that paint will betray their friends no matter how important they are to them."

"Miss Goldenweek is a realist painter who can realistically portray even the very colors of emotions," Vivi explained. "When a person touches her special paintings it strongly implants an emotion into the person's subconscious."

"Oh great," Zoro groaned as he remembered how effective Jango's hypnotism had been against Luffy, "Hypnotism… that's super effective against a weak minded idiot like him…"

"I seem to remember it working well on another pair of idiots," Nami said as she eyed Zoro and Sabo.

"She's _that good_ at painting?" Sabo questioned. "Why didn't you say something sooner? Oi! Brogy! Did the little girl interfere in your fight with Dorry?"

"No…" the giant admitted, "I'd say the bomb man and the little man with the wax were the ones that interfered in our battle."

"So you wouldn't hold it against me if I tried to recruit her then?" Sabo inquired, "Luffy really wants an Artist for our crew."

"She's just a baby," Brogy noted, "A brave crew like yours would be a great alternative to the coward she's with now."

"I'm not a baby…" Miss Goldenweek felt the need to object, "I'm fourteen."

"Is _this_ really your plan?" Zoro asked.

"Well if we can recruit the Artist she'll drop the hypnosis on Luffy and we can get out of here," Sabo said, "HEY! Artist-girl! Sorry about the spanking thing… but if you let us out of here we'll let you join our crew! Luffy really wants an Artist."

"No thanks," Miss Goldenweek refused. "Baroque Works kills anyone that goes against the organization. You guys don't seem to be in a very good position."

"We can get out of here without her help!" Nami insisted, "All we have to do is get Luffy to step off of that paint. LUFFY! GET OFF THAT PAINT!"

"No, LUFFY _DON'T_!" Vivi called out, "PLEASE _DON'T_ STEP OFF THAT PAINT!"

"What're you saying?" Nami asked.

"WE _DON'T_ WANT YOU TO SAVE US!" Vivi shouted.

"Oh yeah?" Luffy retorted as he did the opposite of what Vivi wanted and stepped off the symbol. "OH! Did something happen to me just now?"

"Oh… I see," Zoro realized, "Reverse psychology."

"Alright! I'll smash that cake now!" Luffy exclaimed. "GUM GUM… BA—BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

" **Colors Trap… Laughter Yellow…"** Miss Goldenweek announced.

"SHISHISHISHISHI!" Luffy laughed as he rolled on the floor laughing.

"It's on his clothes now!" Nami realized when she noticed the yellow symbol on the back of Luffy's vest. "LUFFY! TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT!"

"Nah, I just wanna laugh!" Luffy replied, "SHISHISHISHISHISHI!"

"Crap…" Zoro cursed, "if that laughing idiot's our only hope of getting out of here… we're screwed!"

" **QUUUAAAACCK!"**

The four captives looked up as Usopp raced into the clearing in Carue. "AAAAH! RUN FOR IT!"

"USOPP! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" Brogy barked at the terrified pirate.

"M-Master Brogy?" Usopp stammered as he skidded to a stop in front of the trapped giant.

"I thought you wanted to be a brave warrior?" Brogy questioned, "Why are you running from your enemy like a coward? Why are you running when your friends need you?"

"I… but that guy has Devil Fruit Powers!" Usopp protested, "He'll blow me up! He swallowed one of my Gunpowder Stars and complained that it tasted bad!"

"So what?" Zoro scoffed, "Are you a man or a coward? Keep fighting."

"If gunpowder won't work then use something else!" Nami suggested, "You've gotta have more than one kind of round in that bag of yours."

"Usopp, grab Bonnie!" Sabo advised, "She likes you. She'll help!"

"We're counting on your Usopp!" Vivi chimed in. "We need you now more than ever!"

"SHISHISHISHISHI!" Luffy continued to laugh helplessly.

"…" Miss Goldenweek silently watched as the captives attempted to motivate their cowardly friend.

"I… I… right… I'm not a coward!" Usopp resolved. "What kind of man would I be if I couldn't save my friends when it really counted? I'M CAPTAIN USOPP! A BRAVE WARRIOR OF THE SEA! COME ON, CARUE! Let's get that rifle!"

" **QUACK!"** Carue spun around and dashed for the picnic blanket.

"Hmm… courage," Miss Goldenweek idly mused, "I wonder if I could make a color for that…"

" **SPIT CANNON!"**

 **PTOI!**

A wad of spit splattered on Usopp's chest and exploded.

 **KA-BOOOOOOM!**

Carue was caught in the explosion and was blasted backwards.

 **WHAM!**

The sniper and the duck steamrolled the laughing pirate and knocked him on his ass.

The yellow paint on Luffy's vest was smudged and he snapped out of his trance.

"GAH! USOPP! BIRD!" Luffy shrieked when he spotted the charred duo. Luffy glared across the clearing at Mr. 5 as he walked out of the trees with Miss Valentine. "I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS, BOMB GUY! GUM… GUM…"

" **Colors Trap… Bullfight Red…"**

"…BAZOOKA!"

Luffy lashed out and slammed his fists straight down into the ground.

 **WHAM!**

"Huh?" Luffy gasped as he stared down at the red symbol that he'd punched.

"That's my Bullfight Red," Miss Goldenweek informed him. "You'll just keep attacking that symbol like a bull to a red cape."

"YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!" Luffy shouted, "GUUM GUUUM… BAZOOOKA!"

 **WHAM!**

Luffy once again smashed his fists in to the red symbol on the ground.

"Having fun?" Miss Goldenweek asked.

"It's no use! She's too strong!" Nami realized.

"Kyahahaha!" Miss Valentine cackled, "I see you've got things well in hand."

"I just need a finishing touch," Miss Goldenweek stated, "I'll combine Sadness Blue with the Laughter Yellow that's already on his shirt to make something special… **Colors Trap… Calming Green!** "

 **SWISH!**

"YOoooooo…" the Calming Green took effect and all the fight drained out of Luffy. He was left standing there with a calm smile on his face.

Miss Goldenweek grabbed his wrist, "Come." Luffy calmly followed Miss Goldenweek as she led him back to the picnic blanket. "Pour the tea…"

"What're you doing?" Mr. 5 asked as Luffy poured tea for himself and Miss Goldenweek.

"Straw Hat has been neutralized," Miss Goldenweek pointed out, "So now there's no one left to break them out. I've done my part. You two can take over and make sure none of the others get out."

"This tea is good…" Luffy said as he sipped from his cup.

Nami sighed, "Anyone got any ideas?"

Zoro shook his head, "Nope, we're screwed. I bet you guys wish you picked better poses."

"Are you _still_ going on about that?" Vivi scolded him.

"Hey! Can I have my rifle now?" Sabo requested.

"Absolutely not," Mr. 5 refused.

"I wasn't talking to you!" Sabo snapped, "I was talking to the blonde with the cute laugh."

"Me?" Miss Valentine questioned.

"Of course," Sabo replied, "I learned my lesson from Whiskey Peak. I'm not ignoring you."

"Look, blondie, I'm not—"

"Save your breath, bastard!" Mr. 5 interrupted his partner. "You're not tricking anyone."

"Oi, don't be rude," Sabo reprimanded the male agent, "Let the lady speak for herself."

"I can handle this, Mr. 5," Miss Valentine assured her partner then turned back to Sabo. "I'm not just gonna hand you a loaded weapon."

"Look, you've got us in a really bad situation," Sabo pointed out, "And Zoro had a point about the posing thing. If I'm gonna die here… It wouldn't feel right unless I did it with that rifle in my arms. Come on, your codename is Miss _Valentine_ … have a heart!"

Nami didn't know what Sabo was doing. But he clearly had some kind of plan which was way more than what she had. So she decided to support him. "It's true! I couldn't imagine him without his rifle."

Zoro and Vivi realized that _something_ was going on they both chimed in as well.

"Same goes for me," Zoro agreed, "He wouldn't be the rifle-freak without his rifle."

"I just met them a few days ago," Vivi admitted, "And even I'll agree to that."

"I'm not stupid," Miss Valentine insisted, "The second I hand you your gun, you'll turn it around and open fire on us."

"I won't," Sabo assured her, "Look… I keep all my ammo in my coat. Uugghh…" Sabo groaned as he made visibly strained movements to remove his wax-stained coat and dropped it in front of him. "Sorry… I can't move much after inhaling all that wax…"

" _That's a lie…"_ Nami realized, _"He was holding his breath so he didn't get much of the wax in his lungs… He must be trying to lure her in closer to catch her off guard…"_

Miss Valentine slowly approached the base of the Candle Service Set.

"Miss Valentine…" Mr. 5 warned his partner.

"I'm handling this!" Miss Valentine snapped. She cautiously snatched Sabo's blue coat and tossed it over to the picnic blanket behind her then she narrowed her eyes at Sabo. "How do I know you don't have any more bullets stashed in your other clothes?"

"All of my bullets are in that coat," Sabo stated then flashed a roguish grin and winked at the blonde woman. "But if you don't believe me… you're welcome to come up here and pat me down."

Miss Valentine blinked, "Are you flirting with me?"

Sabo smirked and raised an eyebrow, "Maybe… Is it working?"

"Not really," Miss Valentine replied, "Are you actually this desperate?"

"Yes," Sabo immediately answered. "That rifle means a lot to me."

"Kyahaha!" Miss Valentine giggled, "That's refreshing honesty. You know what? I'll throw you a bone."

"You're actually going to fall for that?" Mr. 5 asked his partner.

"Can't you let me enjoy this?" Miss Valentine complained as she looked back at her partner. "What's he going to do to me?"

The blonde Officer Agent missed Sabo mouthing the words 'for you' at the picnic blanket. He'd also timed it for the exact moment that Miss Goldenweek had her eyes closed while she was sipping from her tea cup.

"He can barely move," Miss Valentine pointed out, "And he's no use to me dead. So I might as well get my kicks in while he's still warm and breathing."

"Just to check…" Sabo said, "By 'kicks' you don't mean actual _kicking_ do you?"

"Nope," Miss Valentine replied as she grinned and cracked her knuckles, "I'm going to thoroughly check you for any spare bullets you might be hiding."

"You're being a damn fool," Mr. 5 insisted, "But since one of us still needs to act like a professional… I'll use my insurance policy…" The Bomb Man fished into his pocket and pulled out a handgun.

"You've got a gun?" Sabo questioned, "Why the hell didn't you use that from the start? You've been holding out on me, nose picker!"

" _This_ is a flintlock .44 caliber six-shot revolver," Mr. 5 explained, "They're all the rage in the South Blue. And with my powers… I don't even need bullets. I didn't want to waste it on you punks. But after what you did to my hand back at Whiskey Peak… maybe I'm hoping you'll give me an excuse to shoot you." The Bomb Man snapped the revolving chamber open and spat into it.

 **PTOI!**

"Go ahead Miss Valentine," Mr. 5 prompted, "If he tries anything funny I'll blow him to bits."

"Thanks, I guess…" Miss Valentine replied as she climbed up the layered cake-like structure and eventually stood in front of Sabo. "Arms out…"

"Uggh…" Sabo made a show of grimacing as he slowly spread his 'stiff' arms.

 _"She fell for it..."_ Nami thought silently as she looked away from the two blondes. The former pirate thief had sometimes employed the same strategy on the pirates that she'd robbed in order to get them to drop their guard. She certainly couldn't fault Sabo for doing the same in a role reversal scenario.

Miss Valentine stepped closer and grabbed Sabo's arm and began patting it down. She notably took a bit longer when she reached his upper arm. "Not bad. I was expecting you to be muscular with the way you sent my flying when I weighed ten thousand kilograms."

Miss Valentine slipped around behind him and patted down his back then she went lower.

"Oh!" Vivi gasped and her wax covered cheeks flushed slightly.

"I don't have any pockets back there…" Sabo reminded the Officer Agent.

"I'm being thorough," Miss Valentine insisted.

"Well this isn't awkward at all," Zoro remarked, "I've gotta stand here and listen while she fondles you."

"Suck it up," Sabo retorted, "I've had to deal with your puddle of blood slowly dripping towards me ever since your dumbass idea to hack through your legs."

"Boys, don't fight," Miss Valentine chided them as she came around Sabo and searched his other arm. She glanced over at Zoro, "I can do you next if you want."

"I'll pass," Zoro immediately replied.

"Your loss," Miss Valentine said as she knelt down in front of Sabo and grabbed his leg where it was stuck in the wax then began to work her way up it.

"Ugh!" Sabo bit back a yelp when the blonde's hand wandered a bit too high. His eyes darted across the clearing and sought out the rifle lying on the picnic blanket. He shot an apologetic look to his girlfriend while Miss Valentine worked her way up his other leg until she was standing.

"Alright, now the good part…" Miss Valentine resolved as she eyed Sabo's chest.

"Yup," Sabo agreed as he caught Miss Valentine by surprise and snapped his arms in with absolutely no sign of stiffness.

"WAAAH!" Miss Valentine yelped when Sabo grabbed her and hoisted her over his shoulder.

 **FWIP!**

"I KNEW IT!" Mr. 5 exclaimed.

"What're you gonna do, Mr. 5?" Sabo challenged the Bomb Man as he shifted Miss Valentine so she was now hanging over his shoulder in front of him, "Shoot your partner?"

"Put me down! Put me down!" Miss Valentine demanded as she struggled in Sabo's tight grip.

"I'd suggest changing your weight to something heavy," Sabo advised his captive, "Or else this is really gonna hurt."

"What're you—" Miss Valentine started to ask but was cut off when Sabo swung her down at the wax trapping his feet. "FIVE THOUSAND KILOS!"

 **BOOOM!**

Sabo slammed the five thousand kilogram woman head-first into the wax and managed to crack it.

 **Krek-krek…**

"'Re you still hittin' on me..." Miss Valentine slurred.

"Uuggh…" Sabo grunted as he hefted the heavy woman back up then smashed her down again.

 **BOOOOM!**

 **Krek-krek-krek…**

The cracks in the wax increased and the hold on Sabo's feet loosened.

"I bet ya do this t' aaall th' guurlz..." Miss Valentine groaned groggily.

"One more should do it…" Sabo announced as he gritted his teeth and lifted the dizzy blonde a third time.

"Sorry Miss Valentine," Mr. 5 apologized as he watched his partner get manhandled, "But you're the one who fell for his trick." Mr. 5 pulled the trigger and fired his revolver at Sabo and his own partner.

 **BANG!**

Mr. 5's spit impacted with Miss Valentine's back and exploded.

 **KA-BOOOOOOOM!**

"I'm not going to let him escape because of your foolishness," Mr. 5 resolved as he stared at the inferno that had engulfed his partner.

 **SKISH!**

Sabo came flying out of the explosion and dove towards the picnic blanket. He dropped into a roll and snatched Bonnie off the blanket before Mr. 5 could get off another shot.

"You blew up your own partner," Sabo remarked as he looked over at Miss Valentine who was lying charred and unconscious in the spot Sabo had once been stuck in. "That was cold. But also kind of warm… you ended up melting all the wax that was on me."

" _You're_ the one the lured her in and used her like a battering ram," Mr. 5 growled.

"She's not my partner," Sabo pointed out. "She's part of the group trying to kill me and my crew so I wasn't willing to 'handle with care'."

"No kidding..." Zoro grumbled as he peaked over at Miss Valentine as much as his stiff neck would allow, "Woman-beating jerk might've given her a concussion."

"I'm actually glad he refused to fight me now…" Vivi admitted as she glanced warily down at the unconscious Baroque Works Officer Agent.

"Not very honorable…" Brogy commented.

"Like these Baroque Works creeps care about honor," Nami scoffed, "The dumb blonde had it coming. Now that Sabo's free maybe he can get us out of here."

"I don't know if the Bomb-guy is gonna let him," Zoro observed.

"Here…" Miss Goldenweek said as she handed Luffy the picture she'd just painted of Sabo leaping towards them out of a fiery explosion.

"This painting… is good…" Luffy said with the same calm smile.

"You know what? I'm actually glad you got free," Mr. 5 confessed as he cautiously eyed Sabo's rifle through his sunglasses. "You and I still have a score to settle."

"Then how about we settle this the old fashioned way?" Sabo offered as he chanced a glance at Brogy, "A duel. That is… if you have even a shred of honor after putting that bomb in Dorry's rum."

"That was Mr. 3's idea," Mr. 5 informed him, "But the truth is… I don't really care about who I kill. It's all part of the job. However, my professionalism won't stop me from getting some personal enjoyment out of blasting you to smithereens."

"Usopp!" Sabo called out, "How did you and Daddy the Father do your duel? Did someone shout draw? Or did you walk ten paces?"

"Ughh…" Usopp groaned as he sat up behind Carue. "Well I already told you that it didn't end that way. But it started out with him giving me a pistol. We were supposed to walk ten paces and then fire."

"Does that work for you?" Sabo asked his opponent.

"Fine," Mr. 5 agreed, "A duel to the death."

"Hey Brogy," Sabo called out to the giant, "You're the duel master on this island. Would you mind counting the ten steps for us?"

"You actually trust that little rat to abide by the rules?" Brogy asked.

"Not really," Sabo admitted, "But I want this to be a proper duel."

"Fine then," Brogy agreed, "Duelists! Face off!"

Sabo and Mr. 5 kept their respective guns pointed at the ground as they walked up to each other until they were standing face-to-face.

"I hope you've made peace," Mr. 5 said, "When I'm done with you… I'll ship whatever's left to Mr. 0 in a wooden box."

"I've got important things to do," Sabo replied, "I'm not gonna die here."

"ABOUT FACE!" Brogy barked. Sabo and Mr. 5 turned to face in opposite directions. "ONE… TWO…"

The two gunslingers took a step away from each other every time the giant counted.

"THREE… FOUR…"

"Sorry about the blonde…" Sabo whispered to Bonnie.

"FIVE… SIX…"

"She meant nothing to me."

"SEVEN… EIGHT…"

"I swear it was all so I could get out of there to get to you."

"NINE… TEN!"

Sabo and Mr. 5 both spun at the final count and time slowed to a crawl.

"QUICK DRAW!" Bonnie fired on her own and saved Sabo critical fractions of a second he would have normally spent pulling her trigger.

 **KER-CHOW!**

 **BANG!**

"Uggh…" Mr. 5 managed to fire his own gun before Sabo's round struck his stomach.

 **SWISH!**

Sabo had a precious half a second to lean to the side to avoid Mr. 5's spit which sailed passed him.

 _TWO SECONDS…_

This time Sabo actually pulled Bonnie's trigger himself. "RETURN FIRE!"

 **KER-CHOW!**

"UUGH!" Mr. 5 dropped his gun when the second round obliterated his shoulder.

Mr. 5's spit finally hit the ground behind Sabo and exploded.

 **KA-BOOOOM!**

 _FOUR SECONDS…_

Sabo closed his eyes and pulled Bonnie's trigger a final time, "BURST FIRE…"

 **KER-CHOW!**

The third round punctured Mr. 5's chest and he dropped to the ground.

 _FIVE SECONDS…_

"Hmph," Zoro grunted, "All that build up for just five seconds of action. This is why duels should be fought with swords."

"TOP HAT IS THE VICTOR!" Brogy announced.

Vivi's face had gone pale as she glanced at the two Officer Agents that Sabo had brutally dispatched. " _Really glad_ he refused to fight me…"

"Did… you kill him?" Usopp inquired.

"Looks like it," Sabo confirmed as he walked over and inspected the body. "He said he wanted a duel to the death. He would've done the same to me. At least he died with some honor. After what he did to Dorry… it's more than he deserves."

"How did you know he wasn't going to turn before the tenth step?" Usopp asked. He might have omitted the part where he'd tried that against Daddy the Father when he told Sabo the story.

"I didn't," Sabo admitted, "But I never paid that no mind; you were there."

"Oh, well, _of course_!" Usopp happily agreed, "I've always got your back, Sabro!"

"Yeah right…" Nami scoffed, "You were hiding behind Carue the whole time. GET US OUT OF HERE!"

"Mr. 3's gonna be really mad when he gets back…" Miss Goldenweek noted as she surveyed the two fallen Officer Agents as well as the two enemy pirates and the duck that were opposing her.

"That duel… was good…" Luffy said as he continued to struggle against the hypnotic paint.

* * *

So once again one of Sabo's harebrained schemes pays off. First he held his breath to keep himself from inhaling much wax and then he managed to use the Demolition Duo to escape Mr. 3's wax deathtrap. He ended up in a situation where he and Mr. 5 faced off in a duel to the death like a pair of gunslingers at High Noon.

Speaking of gun-slinging outlaws… Do any of you classic movie buffs recognize Sabo's last line? I only changed one word to fit my version.

Silver signing off


	30. Miss Goldenweek

_**BROTHER ON BOARD**_

Discordia19 - I figured after a gunslinger duel Sabo needed to quote a badass outlaw. You don't get more badass than Clint Eastwood.

Bluejay Blaze - That was it. I changed the word 'him' to 'that' so it would fit my situation. The quote's meaning remained intact so we're good. Vivi did the other quote. "I'm not that pristine." Is from the John Hughes movie 'the Breakfast Club'.

The Keeper of Worlds - I have a name and backstory sort of picked out for Miss Goldenweek. She has ties to Mr. 3 which I think would explain why such a young is working for a criminal organization with a creep like Galdino. Someone might discover Mr. 5's reincarnated Bomb Bomb Fruit... but it won't be the Straw Hats. They wont' discover Devil Fruit Reincarnation until a bit later. You'll see in this chapter that Sabo takes full responsibility for what he did to both Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine.

Lightsbane1905 - Yeah. And don't forget the ancient disease carrying bugs, human-eating dinosaurs, battle-crazy giants and the Island Eater. Brogy and Dorry should consider sending out travel brochures. 'Little Garden - the next big vacation destination. You'll have a good time or die in the process.' But something tell me that Nico Robin would be the only one overly interested.

The Patient One - I decided to have Mr. 3 tie into Miss Goldenweek's backstory. So I'm not going to kill him off like I did with Mr. 5. Galdino is going to stick around to be a reoccurring character and eventually he'll meet up with Buggy's Crew.

OrangeFrito - Is GG - Good Grief? or Good Game? I'm not quite sure how to take that...

rasEnshur1KEn - The arc isn't over yet! Usopp still gets his time to shine! Little Garden is a big moment for Usopp. I'd never take that away from him. And Bonnie is not royalty. She's actually the opposite. She comes from a place where there's a divisive split in the class system. Bonnie has her own reasons for sparing Vivi which will be revealed later.

Miqila - Originally I planned to do this story with just Sabo and his pipe. But I couldn't think of many attacks for him to use with it. So I decided to change his fighting style and I took a look at the Straw Hats and tried to think of something they didn't have. They don't use guns. Probably because of the non-killing policy. But Sabo with a normal rifle seemed too dark. I realized I needed something funny to lighten him up a bit. And so I gave him Bonnie Anne's Advanced Wheel-lock Rifle with an added scope and custom revolving action from Pirate 101 and had him call it his girlfriend. I didn't originally plan for Bonnie to be fully sentient but I thought it would be funny if the rifle was somehow the smarter of the two. Things just picked up and went from there. I'm happy with the direction they've taken.

luvBonnieAnne - Sabo takes responsibility for killing Mr. 5. And for concussing Miss Valentine. Bonnie's got some great moments at the beginning of this chapter so you have that to look forward to.

BedofRoses1989 - To be fair though, she is part of the group trying to kill him. I know it was rather brutal which is why I had three of the four other captives scold him about his rough treatment of the blonde. But you'll see in this chapter that Sabo shows remorse for what he did and takes it upon himself to ensure that Miss Valentine's injuries are treated. I fell in love with Miss Goldenweek's character during the Operation Meet Baroque Works cover story. I thought that there was so much unexplored potential in her lazy little character. So yes, she is that artist I'm looking for. But in order for her to join the Straw Hats... she has to be crazy first.

* * *

 **Miss Goldenweek-**

Sanji stood alone on the deck of the Going Merry. The tyrannosaurus he had bagged for his hunting challenge against Zoro was lying on the shore next to the ship. But the ship was empty.

No Nami-swan. No Princess. Not even Bonnie Anne. And there was no sign of those other guys either. No Luffy. No Sabo. No Marimo. No Usopp. No duck.

"Where is everybody?" the Ship's Cook wondered as he scratched his head in confusion.

* * *

"HURRY UP AND GET US OUT OF HERE!" Nami yelled.

"We're working on it!" Sabo snapped back. He looked over at Usopp. "What do you think? That wax was a pain in the ass to crack. But the dearly departed Bomb-bastard showed us that it can be melted."

"Can we make a big enough fire to melt that huge cake-thing?" Usopp wondered.

"We may have to," Sabo reasoned, "Those three and the giant are already half wax. The fire could—" Sabo cut off midsentence then swung his rifle and smashed Usopp upside the head sending him flying.

 **WHAM!**

" **QUAACK!"** Carue squawked in surprise and ran over to Usopp to check if he was alright.

" **Colors Trap… Betrayal Black…"**

Sabo turned to see Miss Goldenweek standing on her picnic blanket looking very annoyed.

"I forgot about you…" Sabo admitted with a frown.

"That dumbass…" Zoro growled. "He let his guard down…"

"Drop your gun…" Miss Goldenweek ordered.

 **TNK!**

Sabo complied and Bonnie Anne clattered to the ground instantly squashing any hopeful notion that the others might have been harboring about Sabo being able to resist the hypnosis.

"Come here and put your coat back on," Miss Goldenweek instructed. "I don't want anyone rubbing my paint off this time." Sabo walked over and slipped his coat on to conceal the Colors Trap from view.

"Shit…" Zoro cursed, "Anyone else got a plan?" Everyone looked over at Usopp and the duck that was attempting to wake him.

"Do you have any idea how much trouble you've caused me?" Miss Goldenweek asked. "You broke out of Mr. 3's Candle Service Set, you knocked one Officer Agent silly and then you killed the other one! Get your gun. You got me into this mess… so you're gonna fix it."

"She's not just a gun," Sabo replied as he walked over to his rifle, "She's an Advanced Wheel-lock rifle with an added scope and custom revolving action."

"I don't care!" Miss Goldenweek told him. She looked over at Luffy who was still sitting calmly on the picnic blanket and stepped away from him. "Kill Straw Hat."

"I can't," Sabo told her.

"You have to!" Miss Goldenweek insisted, "I'm certainly not going to do it! But you killed Mr. 5 so I've gotta have a least one body to make up for it when Mr. 3 gets back. Shoot Straw Hat!"

 **KER-CHOW!**

Sabo was thrown backwards by Bonnie's recoil and landed hard on his back.

 **THUD!**

The bullet hit Luffy's square between the eyes and bounced off of the rubber man.

 **BOING!**

"See?" Sabo said as he sat up. "He's rubber. I can't kill him with my gun."

"Then shoot someone else!" Miss Goldenwee instructed, "Any of them! All of them! I don't care who! Give me a body to show Mr. 3!"

"Usopp! Carue! Do something!" Vivi urged the sniper and the duck while Sabo reloaded.

Sabo pointed Bonnie and fired off a shot at each friend and ally in turn.

 **KER-CHOW!** Missed Usopp.

 **KER-CHOW!** Missed Carue.

 **KER-CHOW!** Missed Nami.

 **KER-CHOW!** Missed Zoro.

 **KER-CHOW!** Missed Vivi.

 **KER-CHOW!** Missed Brogy.

"Missed…" Sabo stated as he lowered his smoking rifle while Miss Goldenweek stared in shock.

"You missed all of them!" Miss Goldenweek exclaimed.

"Sorry…" Sabo apologized.

"You didn't even scratch them!" Miss Goldenweek complained.

"Sorry again…" Sabo apologized again.

"You even missed the giant!" Miss Goldenweek added. "How could you miss the giant? He's huge!"

"My rifle missed," Sabo replied. "Sorry…"

"That's not possible… you can't fight my hypnosis!" Miss Goldenweek insisted. "Let me see the symbol!"

Sabo slipped his arms partially out of his coat and it dropped down to reveal the perfectly intact black C.T. symbol painted on his back.

"I'm confused too, little friends," Brogy admitted while the Artist was distracted, "How in the world did he miss me? Every shot he's taken before now was dead on accurate."

"Sorry, big guy, that's a crew secret," Zoro informed him. "We'll tell you about it later if we live."

"Nobody say anything!" Nami hissed to the others. "If anyone can snap Sabo out of that hypnosis while keeping the rest of us safe it's _her_."

"Reload and try again!" Miss Goldenweek told Sabo, "Shoot at Long Nose until you hit him."

"WAH!" Usopp yelped tried to duck behind the duck.

" **QUACK!"** Carue sputtered as he ducked behind Usopp.

"Sorry Usopp," Sabo addressed his crewmate as he adjusted his coat and reloaded Bonnie Anne, "Try not to squirm too much. I'll be over quicker that way." Sabo fired off all six rounds in rapid succession.

 **KER-CHOW-CHOW-CHOW-CHOW-CHOW-CHOW!**

The smoke eventually cleared to reveal a terrified and shaking Usopp and Carue hugging each other in the middle of a perfectly round ring of six bullet holes.

"Missed again…" Sabo noted.

Miss Goldenweek's jaw dropped. "You missed… every single shot…"

"Sorry," Sabo apologized.

"Stop apologizing!" Miss Goldenweek snapped in annoyance. "There's something fishy going on here! You can't possibly be this bad a shot! You shot Mr. 5 three times in the span of five seconds! It's almost like you're _trying to_ miss… but you can't be since you're under my hypnosis…"

"Like I said," Sabo replied. "My rifle missed. Do _you_ want to try?" Sabo held out Bonnie Anne.

" _There's no way that little twerp could handle Bonnie's recoil…"_ Usopp thought to himself as he and the others silently watched Miss Goldenweek's rational mind repeatedly fail to grasp the irrational concept known as Bonnie Anne.

The pint-sized artist briefly reached out for the rifle… but thought better of it and ultimately held back.

"No…" Miss Goldenweek decided. "You're going to try again. But _this time_ … I'm giving you a target…" The Artist dabbed her paintbrush in her pallet and sent some red paint flying at Usopp. " **Colors Trap… Bullfight Red…** "

 **SWISH!**

Usopp went stiff as the paint splattered across his chest and formed the familiar red symbol.

"Sorry Usopp," Sabo addressed his terrified crewmate as he reloaded Bonnie Anne. "But it looks like… I've gotta kill you… now." He snapped his rifle shut and with slow jerky movements aimed at his target.

"CARUE! SMEAR THE PAINT!" Vivi screamed.

 **WHAAM!**

The duck rammed into Usopp's chest and knocked him on his back just as Sabo fired.

 **KER-CHOW!**

The bullet whizzed over Usopp and Carue while Bonnie recoiled and smacked Sabo in the face.

 **WHAK!**

Miss Goldenweek was at her wits' end and exploded, "ARE YOU ON MY SIDE OR NOT!?"

"USOPP! HE'S OPEN! SHOOT NOW!" Zoro yelled.

"Right…" Usopp said as he loaded his slingshot and fired at Sabo, "GUNPOWDER STAR!"

 **KA-BOOOOM!**

Sabo was blasted backwards and landed hard on his back in front of the picnic blanket.

"NOW THE GIRL!" Nami urged him, "HURRY!"

Usopp squinted at the picnic blanket and pulled an orange round out of his bag. "FIRE STAR!"

"GET DOWN!" Sabo yelled as he grabbed Miss Goldenweek and yanked her down out of the line of fire. "I keep telling you… my rifle missed."

"You're hypnotized… but your rifle missed…" Miss Goldenweek mumbled as she stared at her savior while Usopp's round flew over them.

"Ha-ha! Right on target!" Usopp boasted as his orange round hit its actual target.

 **FWOOOOSSSH!"**

"WAAAHHH!" Luffy screamed out in pain and rolled on the ground as his painted vest burst into flames.

"Oh hell…" Sabo groaned as he stood up and shoved Miss Goldenweek behind him. "That's not good…"

"You're… hypnotized… but your rifle… missed…" Miss Goldenweek repeated as she looked from the hypnotized pirate to his rebellious weapon.

"That paint won't work on me anymore," a shirtless Luffy insisted as he stood back up and twisted his arm as he stretched it out behind him. "GUUUUM… GUUUUM… RIIIIFLEEE!"

 **WHAAAAM!**

Luffy's spinning fist smashed into Sabo's chest and sent him flying clear over Miss Goldenweek's head across the field.

 **THUD!**

" **FEEL THE BITTERNESS OF DISPAIR! I HAVE RETURNED!"**

Everyone turned to see that Mr. 3 had returned but his tiny head was now sticking out of a huge battle suit out of hardened wax. The armor wasn't close to Brogy's gigantic size but the huge boxing gloves and spiked shoulders still made it look menacing.

"WHOOOA! THAT'S SO COOOOL!" Luffy exclaimed.

"DON'T ADMIRE HIM!" Usopp berated him.

"Miss Goldenweek!" Mr. 3 called out to his partner when he noticed how badly the situation had deteriorated in his absence, "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?"

"I DON'T EVEN KNOW ANYMORE!" Miss Goldenweek yelled back.

Mr. 3's eyes widened at his laidback partner's out-of-character yelling, "What's got you so worked up?"

"IT'S HIS FAULT!" Miss Goldenweek exclaimed as she jabbed her finger at Sabo, "AND THE RIFLE'S!"

"The rifle's?" Mr. 3 repeated. "That's ridiculous!"

"YOU'D _THINK SO_ , WOULDN'T YOU!?" Miss Goldenweek retorted. "But while you were off taking a nap everything went to hell! Top Hat got free! Miss Valentine's got a concussion! Mr. 5's dead! And I've got a magic rifle undermining my hypnotism! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE I AM ANYMORE!"

"I have no time for your nonsense!" Mr. 3 scolded her, "Hurry up and paint my armor while Straw Hat's still caught up in his gawking."

"Sure, fine, whatever!" Miss Goldenweek snapped in annoyance as she stomped over to the armor. "Let's just get this over with… I wanna take a nap so I can write this whole ordeal off as a crazy dream."

Sabo sat up and stared at Mr. 3's armor in awe. "WHAT THE HECK IS THAT THING!?"

"This is my greatest work of art!" Mr. 3 boasted while a twitching Miss Goldenweek painted his armor. "This is the Candle Champion! I once took down a pirate worth forty two million berries with it! WITH THIS THING I AM INVINCIBLE!"

"And you just started using it _now_?" Sabo complained as he stalked over to Bonnie Anne and picked up his rifle. "What is it with you Baroque Works guys holding back your best stuff? If you had attacked with the Bomb Revolver and that thing from the start we would've at least had some respect for you."

Mr. 3 smirked as he surveyed the three remaining pirates. "I didn't want to waste my trump card against some unassuming simpletons," the sculptor sneered. "But now you're in for it!"

Sabo spun and _threw_ his rifle across the clearing.

 **CLUNK!**

The rifle hit Usopp on the head and he dropped to the ground.

Mr. 3 blinked at Sabo's attack on his own crew, "What's with him?"

"Betrayal Black…" Miss Goldenweek answered from where she was attempting to pour herself a new cup of tea. But the frazzled Artist was twitching so badly that she ended up spilling most of it on her. "He's hypnotized but his rifle isn't."

"His rifle? THAT'S CRAZY!" Mr. 3 insisted.

"YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT!?" Miss Goldenweek shouted at him as she spilled the rest of her tea. "THIS IS WHAT I HAD TO PUT UP WITH WHILE YOU WERE GONE!"

"You know… I feel a little bad for subjecting that kid to our special degree of insanity," Zoro admitted. "The girl's clearly cracking."

"I'm more concerned over the fact that Vivi accepted it so easily," Nami replied.

"I was extremely desperate!" Vivi reminded her, "I still am for that matter…" She looked over to see a barely conscious Usopp whispering to Carue.

"Take this rope…" the Master Gunner instructed the duck.

"This actually works out to our benefit," Mr. 3 realized as he kept his focus on the hypnotized Sabo. "With Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine out of the picture we won't have to split the profits from the bounties. Top Hat, kill the long nose! _I'll_ handle Straw Hat!"

"I'm… on it…" Sabo as he took slow strained steps towards Usopp.

"USOPP! CARUE!" Vivi called out in warning. "HE'S COMING!"

"GO CARUE!" Usopp shouted, "RUN FOR IT!"

" **QUUUAAAACCK!"** Carue took off running and dragged a rope along behind him as he began to run in circles around the wax sculpture and the trapped giant next to it.

"I realize now that I had my plan backwards," Mr. 3 remarked as he watched Luffy get back up. "I should have killed you first and focused on your friends second. Once you're dead I can repair my sculpture and continue turning your friends into wax figures like I planned!"

"NO WAY!" Luffy retorted. "I'm not losing a single one of my friends to the likes of you!"

 **POW!**

Mr. 3 punched his huge boxing glove hands together. "CHAMP FIGHT… LITTLE GARDEN!"

"GUM… GUM… PISTOL!" Luffy threw a punch at Mr. 3 but the Candle Man managed to deflect Luffy's strike with the help of his Candle Champion.

"PLOWING THE FIELD!" Mr. 3 lashed out and drove his fists repeatedly into the ground.

 **POW-POW-POW-POW-POW!**

The armor boosted Mr. 3's strength and his punches tore up the ground and made cracks which threw Luffy even further off balance after his missed punch.

Luffy stumbled backwards and made the most out of his lost footing to shoot his foot out at Mr. 3. "GUM GUM STAMP!"

 **WHAK!**

Mr. 3 weaved to the side in his armor and Luffy's foot glanced harmlessly off of the hard wax suit.

"FUHAHAHAHAHA!" Mr. 3 cackled, "I TOLD YOU I WAS INVINCIBLE IN THIS! EVEN YOUR MONSTROUS STRENGTH IS NO MATCH FOR MY CANDLE CHAMPION!"

"Sorry Usopp… I can't fight the paint…" Sabo mumbled as he slowly approached his cowering crewmate. "I've gotta… kill you..."

"Oh yeah, and how are you going to do that without _her_!?" Usopp replied as he held up Bonnie Anne.

"He never said… how to kill you…" Sabo reminded him. "Just that I have to do it… Shooting you would have been quicker… but now I'm stuck looking for an alternative method…"

"I'd prefer _not dying_!" Usopp retorted, "Come on, Sabro! You're hypnotized! Snap out of it!"

"I know… I can't… fight it…" Sabo growled, "It's too strong… As long as that black symbol's on me… there's nothing I can do… Let me have Bonnie… and it'll at least be quick…"

"Oh, I'll let you have her!" Usopp said as he grabbed the rifle that had nearly concussed him, pointed her at Sabo and pulled the trigger.

 **Click!**

"Bonnie?"

 **Click!**

"Please! Help! He's gonna kill me!"

 **Click!**

Sabo shook his head, "Hypnotized or not… Bonnie would never shoot me."

"Bonnie?" Miss Goldenweek repeated as she watched the hypnotized pirate tower over his terrified friend who had failed to defend himself with the rebellious rifle.

Usopp rolled over and tried to crawl away.

 **TOMP!**

Sabo stomped on Usopp's ankle and wrenched Bonnie free from his crewmate's grasp. But as soon as the rifle was back in his arms, Bonnie Anne went off and launched Sabo backwards.

 **KER-CHOW! THUD!**

Usopp scrambled up to his feet and took off running. He frantically searched his arsenal bag for a suitable weapon while looking to get as far as possible from his murderous crewmate.

"Haven't you realized yet that _throwing me_ isn't going to smear the paint?" Sabo asked his girlfriend.

 **KER-CHOW! WHAK!**

Bonnie went off again and this time the recoil caused the rifle to smack Sabo in the face.

"Uggh…" Sabo groaned as he rubbed the welt on his face, "That won't work… either…"

"Mr. 3! Look! He's even talking to it!" Miss Goldenweek called out as she pointed her empty tea cup at the rifle-loving Quartermaster.

"I'm busy at the moment!" Mr. 3 replied before he crossed his armor's huge arms to block a punch.

 **WHAK!**

"LEAD STAR!" Usopp called out as he fired a batch of pachinko balls at Sabo.

Sabo spun and swung Bonnie Anne around him with one sweeping motion.

 **KA-BLOOSH!**

Usopp's rounds burst on impact and created a thick cloud of smoke that hid the sniper from view.

" **Hahahahahaha!"** Usopp laughed through the smoke, **"You should know me better than that Sabro! I'm a liar! Those were my Smoke Stars! Not Lead Stars! Just try and shoot me now!"**

"You do realize… that because I can't see you… Bonnie can't either," Sabo pointed out as he raised his rifle and fired blindly into the smoke.

 **KER-CHOW!**

"YIIIPE!" Usopp shrieked and dropped to the ground as the extremely lucky shot grazed his arm.

"USOPP!" Luffy cried out in alarm.

 **WHAM!**

Mr. 3 took advantage of Luffy's distraction and drove him into the ground with a big punch.

"PLOWING THE FIELD!" Mr. 3 lashed out for another barrage of punches but this time they were delivered straight to Luffy.

 **POW-POW-POW-POW-POW!**

"It's over Straw Hat!" Mr. 3 shouted. "You should have just given up from the start! It all would have ended the same way! I've never failed to complete a mission! Your friends are doomed!"

"Come out… Usopp…" Sabo called out as he waded through the smoke.

" **LUFFY!"** Usopp shouted as he clutched his bleeding arm with his good one as he slithered on his belly through the smoke. **"DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE OTHERS! I'VE GOT A PLAN TO BREAK THEM OUT!"**

 **POW!**

Mr. 3's giant wax arm went flying upward as Luffy burst out of the hole Mr. 3 had driven into. "REALLY?"

"What the…" Mr. 3 sputtered. His giant form reeled backwards in surprise from Luffy's strength. "There's no way he's that strong! That was a fluke! PLOWING THE FIELD!" Mr. 3 lashed out at Luffy with another rapid-fire barrage of punches.

"GUM GUM GATLING!" Luffy lashed out and his fists collided with the Candle Champion's.

 **POW-POW-POW-POW-POW!**

While the Candle Champion's massive size increased Mr. 3's normal strength ten-fold… Luffy's strength was just overwhelming. At the first sign that his friends would be okay the rubber pirate began to overpower the Candle Man with his immense herculean strength.

"Im-impossible!" Mr. 3 stammered as he was thrown back by Luffy's unrelenting onslaught. "No one's this strong! Not even the giants!"

Usopp jumped out of the smoke in front of the remains of the Candle Service Set, "READY CARUE?"

" **QUUAAACCK!"** the duck called out as he came running back. His rope had been wound around the wax cake-like structure and also went around Brogy's body.

"DON'T WORRY, YOU GUYS!" Usopp called out, "USOPP THE BRAVE WARRIOR OF THE SEA IS HERE TO SAVE THE DAY!"

"Usopp, what did you do?" Nami asked.

"I soaked that rope in oil!" Usopp explained, "It'll burn and melt the wax!"

"Heads up, girls," Zoro warned the others, "This is gonna get hot…"

"What do we do about her?" Vivi inquired as she glanced down at the unconscious Miss Valentine.

"FIRE STAR!"

 **CHOO!**

Usopp fired an orange round and it struck the oil-soaked rope which immediately burst into the flames. The fire quickly spread and ran along the rope until the entire length of it had caught fire.

 **FWOOOOOSSSH!**

The flames grew in size and soon there was a flaming inferno around the sculpture.

"NOOOOO!" Mr. 3 shrieked. "MY WAX! MY AMAZING MASTERPIECE! IT'S ALL MELTING!"

"Well that's not good…" Miss Goldenweek remarked as she watched the raging fire consume the remains of Mr. 3's wax sculpture.

"I DID IT!" Usopp cheered, "LUFFY! THE OTHERS ARE SAFE! THEY CAN GET OUT!"

A wide smile stretched across Luffy's face, "Hear that, Candle Guy? My friends are safe! You're not taking a single one of them! GUM… GUM… BAAAZOOOOKAAAA!"

 **WHAAAAAAM!**

Mr. 3 crossed the Candle Champion's arms in front of him to defend himself but the sheer strength behind Luffy's blow overwhelmed his defenses and he was knocked on his back.

The heat from the raging inferno that Usopp had created had even reached Mr. 3 and his Candle Champion began to melt along with the sculpture. Mr. 3 decided to bail out when he saw his plan go up in smoke.

 **GLOOP!**

Mr. 3 slipped out of his rapidly melting armor and took off running. "RUN FOR IT MISS. GOLDENWEEK!" The sculptor fled the clearing and ran off out into the jungle.

"YOU WON'T GET AWAY!" Luffy hollered as he chased after him, "YOU TRIED TO KILL MY FRIENDS! YOU INTERFERED IN A BATTLE OF HONOR! TAKE YOUR ASS KICKING LIKE A MAN!"

" **Nice going Usopp."**

Usopp's eyes went wide in alarm when he turned and saw Sabo standing behind him. Usopp didn't have any time to react before the entranced Quartermaster nailed him with his rifle.

 **WHAM!**

"But… I'm still under orders to kill you…" Sabo stated as he climbed on top of Usopp. His hands were shaking as he pressed Bonnie's barrel into his crewmate's throat. "And since Bonnie won't let me… shoot you… I've gotta do it… another way…"

"URK! GURGLE!" Usopp whizzed as Sabo started choking him. But then he saw something charging towards them out of the corner of his eyes.

 **WHAP!**

Despite being choked, Usopp smirked weakly as he wrapped his arms around the rifle choking him and pinned the weapon to him.

" **QUUUAAACK!"** Carue charged in and tackled Sabo off of Usopp.

 **WHAAAM!**

Usopp kept his desperate hold on Bonnie Anne and the hypnotized pirate was separated from his rifle.

"Brave… duck…" Sabo mumbled as he staggered back up and began to make his way back towards his crewmate and the duck that had knocked him away.

 **SKISH!**

Two flaming figures burst out of the giant blaze and hit Sabo with their respective weapons.

 **WHAK! SLI-SLISH!**

Sabo went flying backwards but quickly sat up and found a singed Vivi and a scorched bra-clad Nami standing in between him and Usopp with their respective weapons drawn.

"That was kind of hot, Usopp," Nami complained. "Wasn't there another way?"

"No…" the Master Gunner wheezed as he gingerly held his throat with Bonnie Anne in his lap.

"Good work, Carue," Vivi praised her duck then she turned back to Sabo. "It looks like we're having that fight after all."

" **QUAACK!"** Carue crowed as he took up a position in between the two women.

Sabo shook his head, "You're gonna have to hit me a lot harder than that to put me down…"

 **WHING!**

Miss Valentine suddenly came flying out of the inferno with her dress on fire. Sabo ducked down as the unconscious agent hurled over his head.

 **BOOOOOM!**

"That might have worked," Sabo admitted as he chanced a glance at the blonde in the burned dress. Miss Valentine's body had made a large indent in the ground next to her partner which showed that she still weighed five thousand kilograms. "But you missed."

" **This won't… YAKI… ONI… GIRI!"**

 **SLA-SLISH!**

A burned Zoro came flying out of the flames with his three swords ablaze looking every bit like the demon that the rumors in the East Blue made him out to be. Zoro slashed his flaming swords across Sabo's chest as he lunged passed.

"Flaming swords… not bad," Zoro remarked as Sabo dropped to the ground. Zoro turned and smirked at the Quartermaster. "You beat two Devil Fruit Powered Officer Agents… that works out to twenty million. But _I_ beat _you_ and you're worth twenty-three million. I win this round, rifle-freak."

 **KER-CHOW!**

"GAAH!" Zoro yelped in surprise as a bullet took a chunk out of his shoulder.

"USOPP!" Nami shrieked at the Master Gunner who still had the smoking rifle in his lap.

"Wasn't me…" Usopp wheezed. His hands were gingerly holding his throat. They were nowhere near Bonnie's triggers.

Zoro pressed his hand to his shoulder to stem the bleeding as he turned to face an angry Bonnie Anne.

"The flaming swords instantly cauterized the wounds!" Zoro defended himself to the rifle. "It probably hurt like hell but I doubt that'll even leave a scar. Nothing else was working. What more do you want?"

 **Click!**

Zoro didn't speak rifle but he certainly understood a threat when he felt, heard and saw one. The shoulder shot had been Bonnie's way of reprimanding Zoro for his rough treatment of her boyfriend and the following gun cock had been her way of warning him to never do it again.

"Okay, I won't do it again unless he's really asking for it!" the exasperated swordsman assured the rifle. "Someone get that paint off him before he wakes up. If he attacks us he'll be really asking for it."

Nami and VIvi wasted no time in stripping off Sabo's coat and Vivi quickly knelt down behind him and rubbed her forearm against his back to smear off the paint.

 **TOMP! TOMP!**

Two giant hands slammed into the ground. The Princess and the three pirates looked up to see Brogy pushing himself back up. His hands and feet still bared the wounds of Mr. 3's wax swords.

"Now there are only two more left to fight," Brogy mused as he sat on the ground.

"Yup, it's good to be alive," Zoro agreed.

Brogy cast a sad glance over at Dorry then looked back at his little friends. "Now… can one of you please explain why you were talking to that rifle?"

" **I'd like to know the same thing…"**

Everyone turned to see Miss Goldenweek still standing on her picnic blanket.

She hadn't run off with Mr. 3.

* * *

"Get ready to set up the Wax Wax Mansion, Miss Goldenweek!" Mr. 3 instructed as he raced through the woods with Luffy in hot pursuit.

"…"

"Miss Goldenweek?" Mr. 3 looked back to see that his young partner hadn't followed him. "Damn her… Now I'll have to improvise!"

* * *

"EEEP!" Miss Goldenweek squeaked as she found herself facing three swords, a bow staff, peacock slashers, a 'magical' rifle (wielded by Usopp), an angry giant and a surprisingly menacing duck. The girl stuck her arms up into the air. "I GIVE UP! I SURRENDER! I just wanna know about the rifle! It's driving me crazy!"

Nami rolled her eyes and lowered her bow staff, "Join the club. I was sane once. Then I met Luffy, Zoro and Sabo. And a bitch named Bonnie Anne."

 **KER-CHOW!**

To her credit, Nami only flinched a little when the bullet whizzed by her and barely grazed her shoulder. Nami looked at her bare shoulder and realized that Bonnie's shot had split her bra strap. "Seriously?" She turned and smirked at the rifle. "I hope you're proud of that shot. Because I was counting… you're out of bullets now. And there's no Sabo to save you this time!"

 **CLICK!**

"Eep!" Usopp squeaked as Nami charged at him, intent on attacking the rifle in his arms.

"Hey, hold on!" Zoro objected when he stepped in Nami's path. "I was sane too before I met them!"

"Oh, please," Nami scoffed as she stopped, rolled her eyes and crossed her arms under her chest, "You're just like them Mr. Cut-Off-My-Legs-To-Escape!"

"It was so I could _fight_!" Zoro insisted.

"Am I crazy too?" Usopp wondered as he glanced down at the rifle in his lap.

"Of course," Zoro told him, "You were lost right from the start despite our best efforts to save you."

"Is that what you call that intervention?" Usopp recalled, "I was right about that!"

"Yeah, and you were the one encouraging Sabo's madness!" Nami accused him.

As the three Straw Hats devolved into arguing, Vivi looked sheepishly over at the giant and the Artist.

"Maybe we should wait until the Dandy Man wakes up so he can explain it?" she suggested.

* * *

" **FUHAHAHAHAHA! WELCOME TO MY WAX WAX MANSION! VERSION TWO!"**

"WHOOA!" Luffy gasped as he ran into a small clearing that were filled with copies of Mr. 3. There were at least twenty of them and every single copy of Mr. 3 was wax white.

" **Normally I have Miss Goldenweek to add some color for this deathtrap… but she fell behind so I had to improvise. Instead I covered** _ **myself**_ **with wax so I could blend in with the other copies. You'll never be able to tell which one is the real me."**

"So you're still not gonna be a man and fight me yourself?" Luffy challenged him.

" **Fuhahaha! Don't be ridiculous! I should have known that fighting a muscle-bound simpleton like you was a mistake from the start. I'm Baroque Works' most cunning Officer Agent for a reason. I'm your intellectual superior. A simple-minded brute like you who relies only on instinct is no match for me."**

"…" Luffy silently stared into the crowd of Mr. 3s.

" **I'm Mr. 3. I never fail my missions. I use my cunning to carry them out to perfection. So please… step into my parlor. But the second you turn your back I'll stab a knife through that noble heart of yours!"**

Luffy decided on his target and stretched back his leg, "GUUUM… GUUUM… STAAAAMP!"

 **THWHAAAM!**

Luffy's foot slammed into the real Mr. 3's face and shattered his glasses as he smashed him through the tree he was leaning against.

"How… did you know… where I was?" Mr. 3 groaned as he dropped to the ground unconscious.

"Instinct," Luffy answered.

* * *

Sanji sat in Mr. 3's wax house drinking a cup of tea. He had happened upon the odd structure when he decided to leave the Going Merry and search for Nami, Vivi and the others.

"Wait a minute!" the Ship's Cook blurted out, "What am I doing!? Nami-swan and my Princess could be in trouble! Bonnie can look after herself and the guy carrying her around… But I can't afford to be sitting here and relaxing in the middle of the jungle while they're in danger!"

Sanji got up and prepared to leave but a suddenly muffled ringing stopped him.

 **Pururururururu…**

"Is that… a Trasponder Snail?" Sanji wondered when he recognized the familiar ringing tone. He glanced around the small house and saw that the ringing was coming from a box in the corner.

 **Pururururururu…**

Sanji pulled out the ringing snail and set it on the table, "I don't even live here. But I'm _still_ the one that ends up answering the snail."

 **Pururururururu…**

Irritated at having to take a message for some stranger and with no real clue where he was, Sanji picked up the handset and answered the snail.

"Hello, this is a shitty restaurant, would you like to make a reservation?"

" _ **Quit fooling around, you imbecile!"**_ the gravelly voice berated him. _**"You're late with your report."**_

"Right… and who am I speaking to exactly?" Sanji inquired.

" _ **It's me… Mr. 0."**_

* * *

"Overreacting? I'd like to see how _you_ react if he slept with _your sister_!"

"I don't have a sister!"

 **KER-CHOW!**

"OOF!" The arguing Straw Hats cut off and turned to see Vivi get thrown on her back by Bonnie Anne.

"Did you seriously just reload her?" Nami complained.

"I wanted you to stop arguing…" Vivi admitted, "And I was hoping it would wake the Dandy Man."

" **It did…"** Everyone turned to see Sabo slowly sit up. "Ugghhh…" He groaned and held his stomach then nodded thankfully at Zoro. "Thanks for taking me down."

"Anytime," Zoro replied.

Sabo held his hand out expectantly and Vivi returned Bonnie Anne.

 **Click…**

Sabo patted the rifle's barrel. "Don't worry. I'm okay. Thanks for protecting everyone and trying so hard to snap me out of it." Sabo hugged his girlfriend to him and looked over at Usopp. "You alright, Usopp? Sorry about giving you such a hard time. That hypnotism was way stronger than Jango's."

"I'm okay…" Usopp answered, "Thanks mainly to Bonnie and these guys."

"I owe you one," Sabo told the Master Gunner. "The next time you find yourself in a fight where you're in over your head or about to be dragged on a life-threatening adventure by Luffy… if I'm there you can tag me in and I'll take your place. But it's a one-time thing. I'm not gonna fight all your battles for you. Especially not after you did so well today. You fought like a warrior and you ended up saving everybody. You're definitely on your way to becoming a Brave Warrior of the Sea. Deal?"

Usopp beamed and shook his hand, "Deal."

Sabo looked over at the others and spotted Miss Goldenweek. "What're you doing here? Did you change your mind about joining us?"

Miss Goldenweek blinked. "You still want me to join you?"

"I'll have to check with Luffy first," Sabo told her, "You hypnotized him too. But he's not one to hold a grudge about that kind of stuff. Personally, I'd like to avoid having that paint used against me again. It was way more powerful than regular hypnotism. Do you have Devil Fruit Powers or something?"

"No, it's actually a combination of the paint and a strong sense of color," Miss Goldenweek explained. "I've infused all my paints with a subtle but extremely potent perfume. The scent doesn't travel very far but it makes anyone that inhales it extremely suggestible. The command comes from the specific color. You don't even have to see it. But as long as my special Colors Trap symbol stays intact my target will remain under the hypnosis. Basically I overwhelm two of your senses at once."

"Huh… I didn't smell anything," Sabo admitted, "But I guess that explains how it worked so well when I couldn't even see the black paint."

"Now… I told you my secret," Miss Goldenweek prompted, "I stuck around because I need you to explain your… um _Bonnie_ before it drives me crazy."

"Gebababababa!" Brogy laughed, "Although, with the way the other little pirates were arguing… it seems like being driven crazy makes you part of the crew."

Sabo laid Bonnie in his lap and fondly ran his hand along the barrel, "This is Bonnie Anne. And like I said when I was under your hypnosis… she's _not_ just a rifle. The real Bonnie Anne is trapped inside it and can control the rifle. We take turns firing it. But she's actually a way better shot than I am. I've made it my mission to free her from the rifle. She's my girlfriend, my partner, my better half and as you've seen… we make a great team."

"I'll say," Miss Goldenweek agreed, "That makes sense now. I never would've thought to paint a rifle…"

" **YOOOOUUUUU!"**

Everyone turned to see that Luffy had come back. He had his finger pointed at Miss Goldenweek.

"Gulp!" the Artist swallowed hard. The shirtless, Devil Fruit-Powered, Pirate Captain that had most likely just beaten up her partner went over to her picnic blanket and picked up the painting she'd done on a whim of Sabo leaping out of the fiery explosion during his escape from the Candle Service Set. "Y-yes?"

"This painting's really good!" Luffy exclaimed, "JOIN MY CREW! BE MY ARTIST!"

"Okay."

Luffy blinked. Hmm… usually this was a lot harder. But then he beamed, "REALLY?"

"I never wanted my art to hurt anyone," Miss Goldenweek confessed, "But Baroque Works is a powerful criminal organization that is comprised of many powerful assassins. They mark anyone that defects as a traitor and have them executed. I'm just a girl with a paint brush. I'm not strong enough to go up against an organization like that all on my own. But you guys… you were trapped in a horrible situation but you worked together and managed to completely turn it around. That's the kind of help that I need. If I join up with you I can escape Baroque Works and finally live out my dream."

"Ooooh? What's that?" Luffy asked eagerly.

"Well… I'm a painter, I like to paint things," the Artist told him, "I've heard stories about all the amazing things that exist in the Grand Line. When I left my home and joined Baroque Works with Mr. 3, I was hoping to see some of them myself. I want to see the magic of the Grand Line and capture it on canvas!"

Sabo looked over at Usopp, "See? That's what sets a person that draws and paints as a hobby apart from an _actual_ Artist. Art is her dream. It's what she lives for."

"Yeah, I see that now," Usopp agreed, "The fact that she can hypnotize people with paint shows that she's on a whole different level from me."

"Vivi… do you have a problem with those two recruiting one of your enemies?" Nami asked.

"She's a kid… I can't exactly blame her for the actions of an entire criminal organization," Vivi answered. "But I do have a condition…" Vivi looked over at the Straw Hats' new Artist. "What's your name?"

"My name?" Miss Goldenweek repeated.

"I refuse to refer to you by your codename," Vivi insisted, "Your codename reminds me of Baroque Works and Baroque Works is my enemy. If we're going to be sailing on the same ship as friends… I want to know your real name."

"It's Ayako," the Artist answered.

"Doesn't that mean 'color child'?" Zoro asked,

"Ayako the Artist…" Usopp mused, "That has a ring to it."

"Welcome aboard then… Ayako," Vivi addressed the Straw Hat Artist.

"…" The others were all focused on their newest Nakama so only Nami was aware enough to notice the quick glance that Vivi sent towards Sabo and the small pleased smile the Princess wore when she saw that the royal-hating former noble was happy with her decision.

"I have one request though…" Ayako added. "Can we… maybe… bring Mr. 3 along?"

Luffy shook his head, "I don't like that guy. He's not joining my crew."

"And I don't want him to," Ayako said, "But when Mr. 0 learns that he failed his mission… he'll have him executed. He'll send Mr. 2 or the Mr. 1 Pair here to kill him. I know that Mr. 3 has done things that are unforgiveable… but I don't want him to die for them. Can't we… take him prisoner or something?"

"We're free pirates," Luffy stated, "We don't take prisoners."

The girl hung her head, "But… he's my uncle…"

"Oh phew," Nami let out a sigh of relief, "You're a fourteen year old girl traveling along with a creepy middle aged man. I was getting a major pedo vibe from him."

Ayako flushed and shook her head, "No. He's always been my crazy uncle Galdino. When I first started painting, he was the one that encouraged me the most. My painting skills wouldn't be half of what they are today if it wasn't for him. I'll always owe him for that. I don't know how he managed to convince my parents but I left home with him so we could, in his words, 'share our art with the world'. But I didn't know that would involve _killing people_. By the time I realized what kind of monster he was it was too late. I was already an Officer Agent of Baroque Works. I know he's cruel and horrible… and I don't want him to hurt anyone else… but he's family… I can't just leave him here to die."

"…" Luffy stared silently at the Artist.

"The guy's a know-it-all… he might have useful information about Baroque Works," Nami suggested.

"It'll be one less enemy to worry about," Zoro admitted.

"We can't leave him here with Master Brogy after what he did," Usopp insisted.

"He's a twisted criminal but I don't exactly want to condemn him to death," Vivi confessed.

"Luffy… do you want an Artist or not?" Sabo asked. "We both know full-well that you can choose your friends but you can't choose your family. Mr. 3 is the baggage that comes with her."

"Fine," Luffy agreed as he continued to stare at Ayako. No one was sure if he'd actually listened to everybody else of if he had just decided on his own. "He can come. But you've gotta make sure he doesn't cause any trouble."

"Thank you…" Ayako said with a grateful nod. "I'll keep him hypnotized with my paint. A little bit of Betrayal Black will loosen his tongue and he'll tell you anything you wanna know about Baroque Works." Ayako turned to Brogy and dropped into a low bow, "And for what it's worth... I'm sorry about what my uncle did to your friend, Mr. Giant."

Brogy nodded and he reached up to rub his suddenly watery eyes. "Hopefully Dorry can rest peacefully knowing that the ones responsible for his death have been defeated and will face justice."

Sabo looked over at Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine, "Oh, yeah, I've still gotta deal with that…"

" **UUGGHHH…"**

Everyone turned and stared wide-eyed as the previously 'dead' giant sat up and held the ax-wound going across his chest.

"DORRY!" Brogy exclaimed, "YOU'RE ALIVE!"

"Hm… I must've passed out for a minute…" the wounded giant mused.

"HOW!?" Brogy sputtered. "I THOUGHT I KILLED YOU!"

"Don't get ahead of yourself!" Dorry retorted, "It'll take more than that to kill me." Dorry looked over at his sword and Brogy's ax. "It must have been the weapons. Even Elbaf's strongest blades couldn't handle the strain of a duel between two giants that's been going on for a hundred years."

"It's a miracle!" Usopp exclaimed as he wiped tears from his eyes.

"MY DEAREST FRIEND! YOU SURVIVED!" Brogy gushed as he hugged his friend. "GEBABABABA!"

"Careful… don't squeeze me so hard…" Dorry warned him, "You're hurting my wounds…"

"A miracle?" Zoro repeated as he looked over at the battered blades, "If anything it's a miracle that those weapons can cut _anything_ after a hundred years of constant usage."

"THANK GOD ELBAF FOR THIS GLORIOUS DAY!" Brogy shouted as he cried tears of joy.

"What? Are you so happy about finally landing a blow on me and making me pass out for a bit?"

"That's not it at all!" Brogy assured him as he slapped his friend on the shoulder.

"Ow! Stop touching my wounds!" Dorry complained, "You trying to start something?"

"Grr… this time I'll but you down for real!" Brogy growled.

"Here they go again…" Nami groaned.

Sabo smiled as he made his way over to the fallen Demolition Duo. He knelt down by Miss Valentine and gently nudged the blonde's shoulder until she woke up.

"Uuuhh… where am I?" Miss Valentine groaned, "And why does my head hurt…"

Sabo warily watched the blonde Officer Agent as she pushed herself partially up off the ground and stared around her. She stopped and stared at Sabo.

"Who are you?"

"I'm the reason your head hurts," Sabo answered honestly.

"Oh…" Miss Valentine said as she slid partially away from him, "And um… who am I?"

Sabo stared at the blonde and swore quietly then called out, "LUFFY! WE'VE GOT A PROBLEM!"

* * *

Mr. 0 AKA Sir Crocodile the Warlord hung up his Transponder Snail as he sat in his secret lair in Alabasta.

He looked over at his partner Miss All Sunday who was petting a massive crocodile with a banana on its head called a Bananawani. Crocodile had a float of at least two dozen Bananawani. The huge reptiles were considered some of the fiercest in all the Grand Line. They were known for taking down Sea Kings. Miss All Sunday was petting the enormous reptile like it was a trained puppy.

"Miss All Sunday, send Mr. 2 to Little Garden," Mr. 0, the President of Baroque Works, instructed his Vice President. "His orders are to lie in wait in the route between Little Garden and Alabasta… and assassinate Mr. 3."

"That's rather ruthless, Mr. 0," Miss All Sunday remarked.

"He can be replaced," Mr. 0 insisted, "I still have plenty of capable officers. Are _you_ back talking me?"

"No," Miss All Sunday assured him as she got up and made her way up a long staircase out of the room. "I'll take care of everything at once."

Crocodile growled to himself as his partner left.

* * *

"He hung up…" Sanji noted then looked over at Mr. 13 and Miss Friday who had attacked him during the Snail-Call. "What am I supposed to do with these guys? Weren't they that mysterious woman's pets?"

 **TNK!**

Sanji's eyes widened as Log Pose locked in a wooden frame rolled out of Mr. 13's messenger pouch. 'Alabasta' was inscribed on the top part of the frame.

"Hmm… this is…" Sanji realized as he picked up the Eternal Pose Alabasta that Mr. 0 had sent for Mr. 3. The Cook grinned. "I bet Nami-swan and my Princess will be pleased to see this!"

* * *

"GEGYAGYAGYAGYA!" Dorry laughed. Everyone had returned to Dorry's cave where he'd patched up his injuries with some giant-sized bandages. Zoro had been given bit off the end to bandage his leg injuries. "I had completely forgotten about the bounties on our heads!"

"You little guys sure helped us out," Brogy remarked, "Let us know is there's anything we can do to repay you."

Luffy, Usopp and Ayako were sitting in front of the giants on Ayako's picnic blanket eating her leftover rice crackers. Zoro was sitting nearby on a stump.

Mr. 5 had been laid off to the side near Mr. 3 who was still unconscious and sporting a foot-shaped indent on his face from Luffy's kick. There was a familiar black C.T. symbol painted on his chest. A little bit behind them, Sabo was sitting and having a quiet conversation with Miss Valentine.

Vivi hung back with Nami and surveyed the others, "It's all my fault… the Baroque Works Agents came to this island because of me."

 **PINCH!**

Nami wasn't going to allow the Princess to blame herself. "Don't say that. We all knew that there were going to be Officer Agents coming after us on this island."

"Thanks Vivi!" Luffy called out, "I finally got my Artist because of you! Now I just need a Musician!"

"You've got strange priorities…" Ayako commented quietly as she surveyed her new Captain.

"You'll get used to it, kid," Usopp reassured her, "Here, wanna try some of my special tabasco sauce on that cracker?"

Nami turned back to Vivi, "See? No one blames you." Nami was close enough to watch Vivi's eyes dart off to the side. "Not even him."

 **Fwwwoooosh!**

"WAAAH!" Usopp and Ayako both screamed as flames shot out their mouth from the tabasco sauce.

"HEY! THAT LOOKS FUN!" Luffy exclaimed, "I WANNA BREATHE FIRE TOO!"

"Luffy! Princess!" Luffy and Vivi turned to see that Sabo had broken away from Miss Valentine. "Might I have a word, please?"

"He's still calling me 'Princess'…" Vivi whispered to Nami, "But at least he doesn't sound like he hates me when he says it. I think I'm making progress."

The Princess and the Pirate Captain went to join the Quartermaster while Nami sat down on the log by Usopp and Ayako. "So, new girl, do you know if your partner has a Pose to get off this island with? It takes a year to reset here and we don't have that long."

"We only have the one we used to get here from Kyuka Island," Ayako answered. "Mr. 0 usually sends any Poses that we need to us along with our orders."

"Damn… that's no good…" Nami grumbled.

Sabo looked back at Miss Valentine and shook his head sadly when he met up with Luffy and Vivi. "She doesn't remember anything. She's got full-blown amnesia. And it's all because of me. She has no idea who she is or how she got here. She still weighs five thousand kilograms because she doesn't remember that she has Devil Fruit Powers."

"Why's she waving at you?" Luffy asked as he peaked around his brother.

"I'm not sure," Sabo admitted, "I told her some basic stuff: that we're enemies, that we were fighting and that I'm the cause of her head injury. But it's really hard explaining to someone who they are when you don't know who they are. She has basic common sense and knowledge… but no recollection of how she learned those things. Her emotions seem to be intact. She likes all the attention I'm giving her. I don't know if that's how her mind works or if she's jumping to conclusions because her memory is one big blank… but I think she thinks that I like her. I've already told her three-times that I'm spoken for but I don't think she believes me."

"Is that why she's glaring at me?" Vivi inquired.

Sabo looked back to see Miss Valentine giving Vivi a very sour looked and frantically waved his arms. "No! We're not dating! She's a Princess! I'll be right back!"

Sabo sighed and turned back to Luffy and a frowning Vivi. "I didn't have the heart to tell her about Bonnie. Her grasp on reality is tenuous at best right now. I'm trying to put myself in her position and if I suddenly woke up on a strange island, surrounded by strangers and couldn't remember anything about who I was or how I go there… I'd be terrified. The last thing she needs right now is for me to drop the Bonnie Bombshell on her."

"So what do we do?" Luffy wondered.

"I… I need to bring her with us," Sabo answered. "I can't explain why… but something about her amnesia really resonates with me. All of my instincts are screaming at me to help her. I don't know if it's because I'm the one that did it to her… or some other reason. But I can't leave her here like this… she's helpless… She needs a doctor or _some kind_ of medical care to help her remember who she is."

"Does Alabasta have doctors, Vivi?" Luffy questioned.

"It does," Vivi told him, "But she's a ticking time bomb. If she suddenly remembers who she is while we're sailing she could sink the Going Merry in an instant."

"I know…" Sabo admitted, "That's why I'm hoping she'll also remember how I've been looking after her and how I didn't take advantage of her while she's in this vulnerable state."

"If she needs help then the right thing to do is to help her," Luffy decided.

"Miss Valentine is the _third_ Baroque Works Agent that you've asked me to sail with," Vivi pointed out. Sabo nodded. "I hope you realize that _you're_ the only one that's killed one of them." Sabo frowned. "This should hopefully put a damper on your theory that every royal is a merciless self-serving tyrant."

"I'm willing to admit that _you're_ not a merciless self-serving tyrant," Sabo replied, "But you're probably the exception to royalty like Luffy is the exception to most pirates."

Vivi sighed, "I'll take it," she said. "It's fine. She can come."

Luffy smiled, "Hey Sabo! Now can we have a rice cracker party to celebrate Ayako joining the crew?"

"Why don't we wait until we get back to the Going Merry and have a tea party instead," Sabo suggested.

"Oooh yeah, she'd probably like that too," Luffy agreed.

"Hey Ayako!" Sabo called out, "What kind of tea do you like best?"

"Um… Mr. 3 likes Earl Grey…" the Artist answered.

Sabo grimaced, "Earl Grey is piss. It makes sense that a pretentious jerk like him would like it. But what kind of little girl are you? Wouldn't you prefer something flavored?"

Ayako shrugged, "Mr. 3 is the one who paid for it so he always picked… It's the only kind I've had..."

"I've got some Honey Lemon flavored tea in my stash back on the ship," Sabo told her, "Let's see if you like that better."

"Okay…" the Artist agreed.

"YEAH! TEA PARTY!" Luffy cheered.

Sabo turned back to Miss Valentine and motioned for her to come over and join them. She blonde smiled and left deep footprints in the ground as she walked over.

But suddenly a familiar voice cried out…

" **NAAAAMIIII-SWAAAAAN! VIIIIVIIIII! And the rest of you. I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE SAFE!"**

Sanji had finally arrived. The cook was carrying Mr. 13 and Miss Friday with him.

"Oh sure… _now_ he shows up," Usopp grumbled.

"Who's that guy?" Ayako wondered.

"That's our Cook Sanji," Luffy answered, "He makes yummy food." Luffy waved. "HEY! SANJI!"

Sanji spotted Miss Valentine standing by Sabo first. "Who are you, Miss? I'm afraid we haven't met."

"She's Miss Valentine," Sabo answered on the blonde woman's behalf, "and she's got amnesia. We're going to be taking her off the island with us so she can get medical treatment."

Sanji took Miss Valentine's hand in his and kissed the back of it, "I'm Sanji the Ship Cook and as long as you're on our ship… I am your humble servant, my valentine."

Miss Valentine flushed faintly as Sanji moved on. She turned and smiled at Sabo, "I think I just remembered something… I really like blondes."

"Great…" Sabo muttered.

Sanji spotted the two massive giants next. "WHOA! Are one of you Mr. 3?"

"No… _that's_ Mr. 3…" Zoro cut in as he jabbed his finger at the unconscious Candle Man. "You missed everything… useless cook."

"Good to see you too, lazy Mossball," Sanji retorted.

"Sanji… how do you know about Mr. 3?" Nami asked.

Sanji turned and spotted Nami... and the fact that she was in a bra. His suddenly heart-shaped eyes bugged out. "WAAH! NAMI-SWAN! YOU'RE AS BEAUTIFUL AS EVER!"

Ever the suave gentleman, the Ship's Cook dropped the two animals he'd brought with him and took off his suit jacket so he could present it to Nami. The Navigator gratefully pulled it on.

"Sanji… what're you doing with these guys?" Luffy asked as he eyed the otter and vulture.

"They attacked me earlier so I taught them some manners," Sanji explained, "Did you still want the monkey to be our Artist?"

"Actually we found one Sanji," Luffy informed him as he pointed to the girl next to him. "That's Ayako. She's our new Artist."

"Welcome aboard, little lady," Sanji greeted the newest Straw Hat. "If you need anything to eat or drink while you're on board our ship… don't hesitate to ask me. I am at your disposal."

"I can't believe you beat the Unluckies!" Ayako blurted out as she stared at the two animals.

"Well, I remembered they're that mysterious woman Miss All Sunday's pets so I wasn't as hard on them as I'd normally be," the fighting cook admitted, "But they interrupted me when I was in the middle of a call with Mr. 0 so I had to get a little rough on them."

Everyone was suddenly staring at Sanji.

"Did you just say you were on a call with Mr. 0?" Vivi questioned.

"VIVI, MY PRINCESS!" Sanji exclaimed, "Wonderful to see you safe and sound!"

"Sanji… why don't you sit down and explain everything that happened," Vivi requested.

"Alright," Sanji agreed as he took a seat on the log.

And so he did.

"And that's what happened," the Ship's Cook concluded.

"So you mean as of now Baroque Works thinks we're all dead and won't be sending anymore agents after us?" Nami clarified.

"Yes, my dear," Sanji confirmed. "I took care of everything."

"Now all we have to worry about is being stuck on this island," Usopp commented.

"Why? Do we have unfinished business here?" Sanji questioned as he pulled out the Eternal Pose to Alabasta that he'd gotten from Mr. 13. "I got this from the monkey."

"THAT'S THE ETERNAL POSE TO ALABASTA!" Vivi exclaimed. She threw herself at the cook and hugged him tightly. "OH SANJI! THANK YOU!"

"OH! I didn't realize you'd be this happy!" Sanji swooned.

"Now we can leave!" Luffy cheered, "That's another reason to celebrate! Sanji, let's have a tea party!"

"A tea party?" Sanji repeated, "I'll get right on it Captain." Overall, it had been a pretty good day for the cook. But there was one thing that could make it even better. He turned and grinned at Zoro. "By the way, Marimo. I hope you didn't forget about our hunting challenge. I definitely won."

"No way!" Zoro argued, "Just wait until you see the size of the rhino that I caught!"

" _Hunting challenge?"_ Brogy and Dorry both thought to themselves. The forgotten cause of their duel was a hunting challenge between the two giants. The hole-filled caves that the two giants lived in were the skeletal remains of the two colossal Sea Kings that the giants had slayed. One little girl's question of which beast was bigger sparked an argument that remained unsettled to this very day.

"Um… I should probably tell you guys about Mr. 3's boat…" Ayako spoke up.

"A boat?" Nami repeated.

"My uncle has a boat that's custom made to run on his Wax Wax Fruit Powers," Ayako explained. "You need to make the boat disappear. If a Baroque Works Agent comes across it for some reason and Mr. 3 is nowhere around… they'll start to question what happened here. Also… I've got some stuff on it…"

"I'll take you back to the boat," Sabo volunteered. "Miss Valentine, you should probably come along."

"Aw, you want me to stay with you," Miss Valentine cooed.

"I need you to figure out your Devil Fruit Powers before you set foot on your ship," Sabo stated, "Otherwise you'll do to our ship what I'm hoping you'll do to Mr. 3's boat."

" **Quuack…"** Carue grunted as he hefted the still unconscious Mr. 3 onto his back.

"I've gotta pick up my rhino…" Zoro stated.

"Usopp, go with him," Nami instructed, "You keep Zoro from getting lost. And Zoro, you keep Usopp from being eaten by a dinosaur."

"Luffy, bring the otter and the vulture back to the boat with you," Sabo requested, "Maybe we can convince them to update our Baroque Works Bounties."

"Oooh yeah!" Luffy cheered as he scooped up the two animals.

"I want one too this time!" Usopp insisted.

"Yeah, me too," Sanji added, "I beat the two of them. That's gotta count for something."

"GOODBYE MASTER BROGY!" Usopp called out, "I'LL BE SURE TO GO TO ELBAF SOMEDAY!"

"TAKE CARE, GIANTS!" Luffy shouted, "WE'RE TAKING OFF NOW! TRY NOT TO KILL EACH OTHER!"

"FAREWELL, LITTLE FRIENDS!" Brogy and Dorry bellowed.

The Straw Hats parted ways leaving only Sabo, Ayako and Miss Valentine at the giant's cave.

"There's one last thing we should take care of first," Sabo decided, "Dorry… can I ask you a small favor? Please dig a hole somewhere away from your house."

"Sure…" Dorry said as he stood up and easily scraped a ten foot hole in the ground with his bare hand.

Sabo scooped up Mr. 5's body and dumped him in the hole.

"I suppose someone should say something," Sabo resolved. "We lay to rest a man known as 'Mr. 5'. If nothing else, he was devoutly loyal towards the organization that he believed in. He gave every part of himself for his cause and in the end he even gave his life. Mr. 5 died on his feet in battle and no one can take that away from him."

Sabo nodded to Dorry and the giant dumped the dirt back in the hole.

"Who was that guy?" Miss Valentine asked.

"Your partner," Sabo answered.

"Oh… that's sad…" the blonde said.

"I don't know how close you two were," Sabo admitted, "But when you regain your memories… you'll at least know that I did this for him… even if I was the one that killed him."

"Wait… what?" Miss Valentine sputtered, "If you killed him why are you the one burying him? If he's my partner why are you helping me?"

"I'm responsible for his death and your current condition," Sabo told her, "so I'm taking responsibility for my actions. Honor is considered the most valuable treasure on this island which acts as a sacred battleground for two proud warriors." Sabo glanced upward and nodded at the giants then looked Miss Valentine straight in her green eyes. "You have my word of honor that I will not harm you any further than I already have and that I'll get you to a doctor who can help you with your amnesia."

"Alright then," Miss Valentine said then she leaned in closer, "You sure you're not doing all this because you think I'm cute?"

 **CLICK!**

"Positive," Sabo stated as he gave Bonnie Anne a reassuring pat.

"Um… Miss Valentine, you probably shouldn't flirt with him," Ayako advised. "He has a girlfriend… and she's really dangerous."

"I'm not scared of the blue-haired hussy," Miss Valentine insisted.

"The Princess is not my girlfriend," Sabo insisted.

"Really? But you didn't even look at the other one… and she was walking around half naked."

"Miss Valentine… my girlfriend is a lot closer than you might think," Sabo warned her. "And for your continued health and safety you need to stop flirting with me. _I_ promised not to harm you… but _she_ has no such restriction. Please don't press your luck."

Sabo turned and addressed the giants. "Goodbye Mr. Dorry, Mr. Brogy. Hopefully the volcano doesn't go off for a while so the two of you can recover from your various injuries."

"God speed little pirate," Dorry replied.

Sabo turned and led Ayako and Miss Valentine off into the jungle.

"You don't often see such great spirit in such little warriors," Brogy remarked.

"Indeed," Dorry agreed. "Our little friends are setting sail. Perhaps there _is_ something we can do to repay them for their help."

"Aye…" Brogy said, "Your sword and my ax have lived long lives. But they're a small price to pay for friends like them."

* * *

Sabo, Ayako and Miss Valentine walked into a heated argument when they got to the Going Merry.

"MINE'S BIGGER!"

"ARE YOU BLIND? MINE'S BIGGER!"

"I can't believe they're still arguing about this…" Nami complained as she came out of the storage room wearing a new top.

"I think they both look great!" Luffy exclaimed, "Let's eat 'em both!"

" _I_ don't care…" Usopp stated.

"Can't we call it a draw?" Vivi suggested.

"There are now draws in a hunting challenge!" Zoro insisted.

"Sabo, tell this dumbass Marimo that my lizard is longer," Sanji called out to the Quartermaster.

"It _is_ longer…" Sabo pointed out.

"Maybe it is," Zoro growled, "But this is a contest about _weight_. My rhino is thicker and heavier. Even you can't deny that!"

"His does look chunkier," Sabo admitted.

"That weight is all from the bones and horns!" Sanji insisted, "It may be a little chunkier but mine has more _edible_ meat."

"Look, if you're gonna keep arguing can you do it while you're carving them up?" Sabo requested. "Meanwhile, the rest of us can have that tea party."

"Sure," Sanji replied, "I got everything ready before this guy showed up."

A little bit later, everyone was sitting in a circle on the deck of the Going Merry. An assortment of crackers and desserts had been set out in front of everyone. Although, as per usual, the desserts in front of the women appeared to have been prepared with much more love and care.

"TO OUR NEW NAKAMA!" Luffy exclaimed.

"TO GIANT WARRIORS!" Usopp called out.

"TO SURVIVING BAROQUE WORKS!" Nami added.

"CHEERS!" Everyone chorused.

"Dish is delishus!" Luffy mumbled through a mouth-full of cake.

"You rubber jerk!" Sanji scolded him, "That lemon-cake was for Miss Valentine!"

"Is it always lively like this for you guys?" Miss Valentine inquired as she sipped her tea.

"It seems like it," Sabo admitted, "Is that honey lemon tea jogging any memories?"

"Why would it?" Miss Valentine asked.

"You're wearing lemon slice earrings," Sabo pointed out, "I thought that since you seem to feel fondly for them... they might jog your memory a bit."

"Hmm… this flavored tea is way better than Earl Grey," Ayako commented. "I don't even have to add much sugar to it now." She glanced around the deck, "What happened to Mr. 3?"

"We left him in the anchor room," Usopp answered. "Luffy's kick really did a number on him. I don't think he'll be waking up anytime soon."

"Take it easy with that tea, Carue…" Vivi warned her duck who was sipping tea through a straw.

Zoro rolled his eyes and snapped the cap off of a booze bottle and poured some into his tea cup.

"Eh-hem…" Zoro looked to the side and saw Nami holding out her cup expectantly. The Boatswain sighed and poured the rest of his booze in Nami's cup.

"Hey! The bird and the monkey are waking up!" Luffy suddenly announced.

"Hey, you guys," Sabo greeted the Unluckies, "Remember us?"

"…" Mr. 13 raised his sunglasses so he could roll his beady black eyes.

"I'll take that as a 'yes'," Sabo said, "Do you think Miss All Sunday would be willing to update our bounties to account for what happened here?"

"We can't tell her everything that happened," Vivi argued, "She's the Vice President of Baroque Works. If she knows we're still alive then Mr. 0 is sure to know too."

"I think we can trust her," Luffy said. "She visited our ship but kept Usopp and Sanji a secret."

"You can give our posters to Miss All Sunday and _only_ Miss All Sunday, right?" Zoro asked.

Mr. 13 and Miss Friday shared a look… then nodded.

"Remember, I beat you two," Sanji pointed out, "That should qualify me for a bounty this time."

"And _I_ saved everybody by melting Mr. 3's big wax deathtrap!" Usopp boasted.

Mr. 13 pulled out his sketch pad and drew two new sketches.

 **Skisssh-skitch! Scribble!**

"Can I see those?" Ayako requested as she slid closer and peered over the otter's shoulder.

"…" Mr. 13 pointed his paw accusingly at Ayako… then at Miss Valentine.

"She's our new Artist!" Luffy explained, "And the other one got hurt fighting Sabo so we're taking her to a doctor."

 **Skisshh… scribble-scribble!**

The Straw Hats' new Artist suddenly found herself starting at a her own Wanted Poster.

"Can I show you a trick?" Ayako offered. The two animals warily watched the Artist as she took the sketch pad and pencil. "If you press down harder when you're outlining the face… like this… it'll allow you to use normal lighter strokes to shade the sides."

 **Skitch-skitch-skitch…**

"When you add the shading it makes the sketch more three dimensional and more life-like," Ayako said as she handed back the pad.

"Here… I swiped the old sketches from Mr. 3's hideout," Sabo said as he handed over the old bounties for himself, Zoro, Nami, Luffy and Vivi. "Can you update those?"

Mr. 13 pointed to Sabo and turned over the Quartermaster's poster.

"I killed Mr. 5 and I'm the reason Miss Valentine is injured," Sabo stated.

" _I_ beat _him_ ," Zoro was quick to add. "He was hypnotized and working for Baroque Works at the time."

"I beat up the Candle-guy," Luffy said, "And I convinced Ayako to become our Artist."

"Um… hi…" Ayako greeted the Unluckies.

" _I_ melted Mr. 3's big wax death trap!" Usopp boated.

"Don't look at me… I didn't do anything," Nami insisted.

"Oh… I guess I didn't either…" Vivi confessed.

"Don't worry about it, Vivi," Nami reassured her as she let out a pained grimace and held her forehead. "If you get caught up in their macho madness you'll end up with a splitting headache like mine."

"Oh… are you okay?" Vivi inquired with concern.

"I'm fine," Nami answered, "Let's just finish the tea party and get out of here. It's been another one of those long days."

"BYYYYEEE!" Luffy shouted as Miss Friday flew off with Mr. 13 on her back. "ALRIGHT! LET'S SET SAIL!"

The Going Merry's anchor was raised and they sailed along the river to the other side of the island. But when they reached the end of the river they spotted two familiar gigantic figures standing on the shore on opposite sides of the river.

"Oh hey, it's the giants!" Luffy called out.

"Did they came to see us off?" Usopp wondered.

"There's one final, very important reason why the little humans that come here fail to make it to the next island," Brogy informed them.

"That important reason lies straight ahead," Dorry added as he stared out at the open sea off the shore.

"What is it?" Usopp asked as everyone gathered on the front deck.

"You little pirates risked your lives and fought to keep our pride from being tarnished," Dorry continued, "And so in return… we will not allow the pride your pirate flag represents to be tarnished either!"

"Have faith in us and sail straight ahead!" Brogy instructed, "No matter what happens… keep going straight!"

"Got it," Luffy agreed, "We'll sail straight ahead."

"Farewell," the two giants called out. "Let us meet again someday in the future!"

"LOOK UP AHEAD!" Nami shouted as the water in front of the Going Merry started to bubble.

 **SPLOOSH!**

A massive fin that was bigger than any of the dinosaurs on Little Garden broke the surface.

"So you've come Island Eater," Dorry growled.

"In the name of Elbaf… we vow to clear a path!" Brogy proclaimed.

 **SPLOOOSH!**

The Island Eater continued to rise up out of the ocean and revealed it to be an utterly enormous goldfish that was nearly half the size of Little Garden and easily dwarfed the Going Merry.

"WHAT IS THAT THING?" Zoro shouted.

"Is it a Sea King?" Sabo asked.

"MOONSTEEEER!" Miss Valentine shrieked in terror.

"Someone grab the helm and turn us around!" Nami ordered, "We'll be swallowed whole!"

"We… we can't!" Usopp refused. "W-we've gotta… sail straight ahead! Right Luffy?"

"Right, Usopp," Luffy replied, "Straight ahead! Just like the giants said!"

"BUT THIS ISN'T LIKE LABOON!" Nami shouted.

"Nami… give it up…" Zoro told her, "Captain's orders."

"Did I join the right crew?" Ayako meekly wondered.

"Stick with us and you get used to this kind of stuff, kid," Sabo reassured her.

"Oh yeah? Then why're you hugging your rifle?" the Artist demanded.

"Obviously I didn't want _Bonnie_ to be scared," Sabo answered.

 **Click!**

"Don't worry, ladies! I'll protect you!" Sanji nobly volunteered.

 **Whap!**

The Ship's Cook was surprised that someone actually took him up on his offer and found Miss Valentine clutching his arm like a life line.

"I don't know why everyone's so casual about this…" the amnesic Officer Agent whimpered. "We're willingly sailing right into the mouth of a huge goldfish… just on the word of some giants."

"Luffy…" Vivi called out, "Are you sure about this?"

"YEAH!" Luffy yelled, "STRAIGHT AHEAD! STRAIGHT AHEAD!"

"IT'S TOO LATE! WE'RE GONNA BE SWALLOWED!" Nami whined.

"STRAIGHT AHEAD! STRAIGHT AHEAD!" Luffy and Usopp chanted together even after the Going Merry was swallowed.

"Well, well, Island Eater… you've grown," Dorry remarked.

"You know, I heard that the little humans once mistook its droppings for an island," Brogy recalled.

"Only a great serpent soaked in blood can withstand our mightiest attack," Dorry boasted.

"Behold! The Mightiest Spear in all of Elbah!" Brogy exclaimed.

The two giants smashed their weapons on the ground in front of them and gave a loud shout.

" **HAKOKO!"**

 **SHOOOOOM!**

The giants' battered weapons shattered on the ground as a red blast of compressed air flew out from Brogy's ax while a blue one emitted from Dorry's sword. The two blasts marched together and blasted a hole straight through the Island Eater.

 **BOOOOOOM!**

" **WOOOOHOOOO! WE'RE FLYING!"** Luffy shouted as the Going Merry came flying out.

"Wow… so _this_ is the power of Elbaf's strongest warriors!" Usopp gasped.

"WHOA! The giants blasted a hole straight through it!" Zoro gasped.

Sabo smirked at him, "Which just goes to show you that the best attack from a sword and ax wielding giant is a _blast_."

 **KER-CHOW!**

"I can't believe it… we're alive!" Miss Valentine exclaimed. She still hadn't let go of Sanji's arm.

"I've definitely gotta paint _that_ ," Ayako resolved.

"KEEP GOING MERRY!" Usopp yelled, "FLY STRAIGHT HEAD!"

The giants' laughter carried after the Going Merry.

"GEBABABABABABA!" "GEGYAGYAGYAGYAGYA!"

"GOOD FORTUNE ACCOMPANY YOU, LITTLE FRIENDS!"

* * *

So yeah, Ayako AKA Miss Goldenweek is the new Straw Hat Artist. I'd like to credit QPython for coming up with the 'Ayako' name. Aya – Color, Ko – Child. It fits her perfectly. I'm taking some liberties with Miss Goldenweek's canon dream and I'm expanding on it. Her dream isn't _just_ to be an artist but to see the magic of the Grand Line and capture it on canvas. You can probably expect the cherry blossoms on Drum Kingdom to be the first of many paintings.

I am once again taking a week off in between arcs so **I'll be back November 14** **th** with the first chapter of the Drum Kingdom Arc. Let's see how Drum Kingdom turns out with Sabo, Bonnie, Ayako, Miss Valentine and Mr. 3 all coming along for the ride.

Silver signing off


	31. Wapol

_**BROTHER ON BOARD**_

The Keeper of Worlds - Sabo didn't have amnesia in my version. When his ship exploded in the prologue the explosion caught his back and side. He didn't take any damage to the head which is why his memory remained intact _and_ he doesn't have the scar over his eye. Sabo feeling sympathy for Miss Valentine's condition is a combination of his own guilt and remorse for doing it to her as well as me playing tribute to canon. Nami needs to get bit by the keschia. The other Straw Hats are freaks that never get sick. She has to get bit so they can search for the doctor and eventually find Chopper. So that remained the same.

starelight - Luffy was bare chested in canon and didn't get bitten. Even if he was I don't think it would've effected him. Being poisoned is one thing but Luffy states himself that he's never been sick.

The Patient One - Thanks for pointing that out. I fixed it. You'll see in one of the first scenes of this chapter that Galdino isn't exactly Straw Hat material. I brought him along so he can provide some extra character development for Ayako and do something special when they finally get to Alabasta. For now they just need to keep him under control because they all know that they can't trust him.

Huntsman8888 - I can't kill him off right away. Otherwise there will be no conflict during the upcoming arc. But that doesn't necessarily mean that Sabo doesn't try to shoot him early on. Place your bet, how long before Sabo ends up trying to shoot him? Bonus points if you can guess if he succeeds and how many rounds connect.

Psychochiken - Logic of madness... I like that. I suppose that's the proper mindset to be in while reading this story. I've made my point of stressing that all the Straw Hats are crazy at least to some degree. And now Ayako is too! I think there's so much potential to be explored with her character that I couldn't resist bringing her along. This has been the plan since all the way back during the 'What can you do' scene from the Luffy vs Arlong Fight. After Luffy listed all the things he can't do, I added this bit: "He also knew nothing about medicine, could barely read, broke everything he touched and he couldn't do anything artistic **like draw** or play an instrument."

Lightsbane1905 - 'Lemon' meaning Miss Valentine, right? Because I can assure you there was no sex anywhere on Little Garden.

lostdog200 - There were actually two movie references in chapter 29. Vivi quoted Claire Standish from the Breakfast Club with her "I'm not that pristine" line. Sabo's last line was quoted/paraphrased from the Outlaw Josey Wales. The original line is "Never paid _him_ no mind: you were there." Because if you want to come across as a badass in a Western, you've gotta quote Clint Eastwood. Yes... you can probably imagine that Sabo and Wapol are not going to get along. Wanna guess how long it'll take for Sabo to try and shoot him? You'll get extra bonus points of you can guess how many bullets he uses and if they connect.

luvBonnieAnne - I've got a lot of cool plans for little Miss Ayako. Galdino will help reveal some more of her backstory. And I'm already introducing a brand new Colors Trap in this chapter. As for Miss Valentine and Mr. 3, Miss Valentine is going to be the more active of the two during the Drum Kingdom Arc. She does have a certain medical condition that will motivate her towards wanting to visit Dr. Kureha. I'm putting Galdino "on ice" until Alabasta.

Miqila - Ayako is the only one that officially joined. You'll see that there is a big difference between a bonafide Straw Hat and a passengers on the Going Merry in this chapter. Miss Valentine and Mr. 3 will serve their purpose while they're with the Straw Hats. But they aren't going to actually join the crew.

Ranger Station Charlie - I've read Nine Minutes. It's actually on my Favorites list. Like you, I enjoyed the alternate action scenes early on. But I became disillusioned with how serious the story was after Luffy ate his new Devil Fruit and ended up killing you-know-who at Water 7. One very important aspect of One Piece is the humor. That's why I strive to make this story _fun_ to read. I'm piggy backing off of the existing quirks and comedy that comes with canon and adding my own brand of nonsense into the mix. If your response is anything to go by, I'd say it worked out.

rasEnshur1KEn - Her sanity already took a big hit from dealing with Bonnie Anne on Little Garden. She'll be one of the less notably sane characters. But by the end of the Drum Kingdom Arc, I'm sure she'll fit in with the others just fine. Ayako is there to keep her Uncle from doing anything "stupid". I even had her create a new Colors Trap for the occasion. Mr. 3 won't do much during the Drum Kingdom Arc. I'm saving his additions for Alabasta.

OrangeFrito - I'm usually reading through the manga while I'm writing my chapters. And if I really need a refresher for a certain arc I'll rewatch the anime episodes. But my default manga translation is the one on Spectrum Nexus. Although, the actual translated manga books are great for finding proper sound effects since Viz Manga translates those too.

Dr. Zenkai - I'm glad you like the story. Don't worry about Sabo and Bonnie's relationship seeming 'normal'. The big Bonnie reveal is coming soon. Once it does, 'rational' will be kicked out the window and the two of them will firmly cement themselves as "the World's Weirdest Couple". I try to keep Sabo out of Mary Sue territory by giving him a set personality. Sabo's got an adventurous spirit and believes that everything's possible in the Grand Line. He's not stoic and has clear emotions. But Sabo also thinks he's smarter than he is, as shown by his bone-headed schemes and how easily he gets hypnotized. He also has a very clear character flaw that Vivi is slowly helping him work through. And of course, there's his comedic quirk with Bonnie Anne. Sabo has a very specific set of skills that keep him from being versatile and good at everything like Sue's often are. He excels at negotiating above all else, he's experienced at reining in Luffy and he's a shooter (although Bonnie and Usopp are both better at that than him). I hope all that makes Sabo come across as a more interesting complex character and not a generic insert.

EnixFairy - Ace is coming up... so is Luffy's fight with Crocodile. The Alabasta Arc is going to be a lot different than in canon but everything will ultimately come down to the fight between Luffy and Crocodile. We'll also be seeing Mr. 13 and Miss Friday again. They'll have new Baroque Works Bounties for the Straw Hats. But before any of that can happen, we've gotta deal with Wapol and get through Drum Kingdom.

TheREALMightyKamina - I've always thought that Miss Goldenweek had a lot of hidden potential. Did you read the cover story arc Miss Goldenweek's Operation Meet Baroque Works? After seeing her use her powers to orchestrate a huge jailbreak I decided to try my hand at using her. I think it'll be interesting to see what I can do with a character who has even less physical strength than Nami and Usopp. I'll have to get really creative with the Colors Traps. I'm going to be staying away from the movies and filler for the most part. There's so much material for me to cover that if I took detours to do filler arcs and movies it'd take me forever just to get to the Time Skip. My weekly(ish) schedule keeps me moving fairly quickly so I don't want to have any delays.

 **A/N: Alright readers! Place your bets! Wapol's introduced in this chapter. How long will it take for Sabo to try and shoot him? And how many bullets will he use?  
**

* * *

 **Wapol-**

The Going Merry sailed through the peaceful waters of the Grand Line fresh off of the Straw Hats' escape from Little Garden and the dreaded Island Eater.

"GUYS LISTEN UP!" Usopp shouted, "I SAID IT BEFORE AND I'LL SAY IT AGAIN! ONE DAY I SWEAR I'LL GO TO ELBAF AND VISIT THE GIANT WARRIORS!"

"YEAH USOPP!" Luffy cheered, "LET'S DO IT! ONE DAY WE'LL DEFINITELY GO THERE!"

Luffy threw his arm over Usopp's shoulders and the two began singing together. "EELLLBAF! EEELLLBAF! WHERE EVERYONE IS GIANT CUZ THEY'RE GIANTS!"

"…" Ayako picked at her ear as she listened to the shrill singing. "Maybe he does need a musician…"

"I don't understand how they can have so much energy," Nami remarked. "After everything that's happened… I'm exhausted." Nami sighed as she wiped her sweaty forehead then turned and handed off the Eternal Pose to Vivi. "Here Vivi, can you keep an eye on the Log Pose? With that we'll finally be able to get you home. Well… that's as long as we don't run into any more trouble."

Vivi nodded and took the Pose to her homeland and stared gravely at the needle in the glass ball. "Yes… I have to return to Alabasta no matter what. I have to stop the rebellion."

"Here you go, my dear Miss Valentine," Sanji called out as he emerged from the men's quarters and presented the amnesic Officer Agent with a neatly folded golden-yellow dress shirt.

"What's this for?" Miss Valentine asked.

"I noticed that your dress was ruined," Sanji answered as he motioned to the blonde's burned dress. The hem had been charred black and the back was burned away revealing the straps of her singed white bra. "I wanted to offer this as a substitute until you managed to get some clothes of your own."

"Oh, that's so sweet," Miss Valentine cooed, "Thank you! I'll go put it on now…" The blonde dashed off into the anchor room.

* * *

Out on the rear deck behind the galley, Zoro was swinging a pole with five 100kg weights on it.

"Two thousand six hundred and three…" the shirtless and sweating swordsman grunted.

"You've been doing that since we left Little Garden," Sabo noted as he surveyed the swordsman. He had changed into a new white dress shirt and a blue vest to replace the ones that Zoro had cut through on Little Garden. "Any particular reason why?"

Zoro spared the Quartermaster a quick glance as he did another rep. "If I had been strong enough to cut through that wax… we wouldn't have had any trouble... and you wouldn't have had to give the blonde brain damage…"

"No one regrets that more than I do," Sabo said, "But that wax was as hard as steel and Usopp was all alone with just the duck against three of them. I doubt that I could've smashed the wax even if I had Bonnie and shot at my feet. That's why I had to take such drastic actions."

"Then I need to get strong enough to cut through steel," Zoro resolved.

"Is that even possible?" Sabo wondered. "I know of a couple people who could probably smash through it. But no one that could cut it…"

"I bet Mihawk could do it…" Zoro replied, "He cut through that entire galleon like it was nothing. I've gotta get strong enough to do the same if I want to have any hope of ever beating him."

"Well… I'll leave you to it then…" Sabo decided as he turned to leave.

Zoro pumped his weighs again then blinked in confusion, "Shit… I lost count…"

"Six thousand three hundred twenty!" Sabo called back to him with a cheeky smirk.

"What?" Zoro sputtered, "I was only going up to three thousand! Damn him. Now I've gotta start over…"

* * *

"What do you think?" Miss Valentine asked as she came out of the anchor room wearing Sanji's shirt. The muscular cook's golden-yellow shirt went down to the lithe blonde's thigh and made it look like the shirt, her hat and her white heels were all that she was wearing.

"You'd look lovely in anything," Sanji assured her, "That shirt is no exception."

"Dial it back, Sanji…" Nami warned the cook.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Nami-swan," the Love Cook apologized, "I didn't mean to make you jealous."

"I'm not…" Nami said as she massaged the pulsing vein in her throbbing forehead.

"Look! I see a dolphin!" Luffy called out. Usopp and Ayako ran over to stare off the side of the ship.

Miss Valentine grinned when she spotted Sabo coming back around the galley. She overlooked the fact that the Quartermaster was holding his rifle in front of him and seemingly whispering to it.

"You sure it looks good?" Miss Valentine questioned as she turned her attention back to the cook. "Maybe you'd like to see it from every angle." The blonde did a slow twirl and stretched her arms up over her head while she was facing the anchor room.

 **KER-CHOW! WHAK!**

 **SPLUURT!**

Miss Valentine came back around and saw both blondes were flat on their back.

"Kyahahahaha!" Miss Valentine giggled. "I guess they liked it."

"Sabro! You scared the dolphin away!" Usopp complained as he, Luffy and Ayako turned back around.

"Oh no! Sanji's bleeding!" Ayako pointed out. The three crowded around the fallen cook.

"Sanji! Wake up!" Luffy urged his cook, "I was gonna ask you to make snacks!"

"What was that for?" Sabo asked his girlfriend as he sat up and rubbed the rifle-induced welt on his face.

Miss Valentine looked to the side and saw a red-faced Vivi pointedly looking off the side of the ship while Nami was giving her a deadpan stare that clearly said 'this is the absolute last thing I want to deal with right now'.

"Blondie… what size are you?" Nami inquired with a tired sigh.

"Um… I don't remember," Miss Valentine admitted.

Nami pointed a shaky hand behind her at the storage room. "Go down the ladder into my room. There's a closet in the corner. I have a pair of white pants that should fit you. Don't worry about giving them back just put them on and never take them off."

"Alright, if you say so," Miss Valentine agreed with a good natured shrug. She headed for the storage room but paused next to the three younger pirates that were attempting to revive Sanji. "Oh, before I forget, the guy with the glasses was twitching. I think he might be waking up."

"I'll go check on him," Ayako volunteered. The two female Officer Agents disappeared through doors on opposite ends of the ship.

"Sabo, what do you think 'shaped like a heart' means?" Luffy called up to his brother.

"I don't know," Sabo answered as he stood up peered over the railing, "Why?"

"Sanji just mumbled it," Usopp told him.

For some reason Nami started groaning and Vivi's blush went five shades darker.

* * *

Ayako entered the anchor room and stepped around Miss Valentine's discarded dress. She paid no mind to the singed white bra and panties that had been left on top of it and probably explained Sanji's mysterious nosebleed.

The Artist sat down next to the twitching Sculptor and watched him until he woke up.

"Hi Uncle Galdino," Ayako greeted him.

"How many times do I have to tell you not to use my real name in public?" Mr. 3 scolded his partner. "Always use my codename and never call me 'Uncle'. We can't allow Baroque Works to learn of our preexisting relationship."

"I don't think that's going to be an issue anymore," Ayako told him, "The situation has changed."

"Huh?" the Candle Man peered around the anchor room. "Where are we?"

"We're on board the Straw Hats' ship," Ayako explained, "We lost. Miss Valentine's here too."

"Are we prisoners?" Mr. 3 asked.

"Not exactly…" Ayako answered, "They don't take prisoners. Luffy wanted an Artist on his crew and I agreed to join them. You're my… I think Sabo said _'baggage'_. Miss Valentine's here because she has amnesia. She doesn't even remember who she is. They're bringing her to a doctor."

Mr. 3 smiled, "Well done. You pretended to join them so you could act as a spy. I'm impressed. I knew all that time I spent trying to hammer cunning into your head would pay off eventually."

"Actually… I really did join them," Ayako informed him, "And I'm not going to let you ruin this for me. **Colors Trap… Betrayal Black.** "

Mr. 3 looked down at the symbol on his chest and went stiff. He was assaulted by the enchanting scent of the paint, the subliminal command from the color and the verbal command from Ayako's incantation. Any mental resistance her Uncle had built up from his extended exposure to her paint over the years was immediately shattered when she attacked three of his senses all at once. "You… hypnotized… me…"

"You know that I hate being an assassin," Ayako reminded her entranced Uncle, "This is my chance to explore the world and paint magic like I've always wanted. I don't want you to hurt anybody else so I convinced the Straw Hats to bring you along. You're going to stay quiet and not cause any trouble while you're on this ship. We'll probably turn you in to the Marines or something when we get to Alabasta."

"Turn me in?" Mr. 3 repeated, "But Ayako… if you do that you'll never learn what I did to your parents."

Ayako froze. "Wh-what?"

"Did you really think they'd allow their _precious daughter_ to leave home with just her _crazy Uncle_?" Galdino sneered. "I'm under the influence of your paint. You only have to ask and I'll be compelled to answer. You see… it's against my own best interest because once I tell you what I did to them… you'll never trust me again."

" **Gulp…"** the fourteen year old Artist swallowed hard as she stared at her murderer Uncle who liked to laugh at the looks of anguish on his victims' face as he slowly transformed them into his wax figures. "I've always had a dark feeling in my stomach that you did something to them. But I'm not going to ask."

Ayako stood up and turned to leave.

"You coward!" the Candle Man growled after her.

"Shut up!" Ayako snapped as she whirled around to face him.

"…" Mr. 3 was forced to comply.

Ayako took a deep breath and then spoke, "Maybe you're right… maybe I'm too much of a coward to ask you that question because I know I won't like the answer. But you know what? While you were off taking your nap I saw something that inspired me. I saw _true courage_. It wasn't from Luffy or Sabo. It was from their Master Gunner Usopp. Initially, I thought he was a big coward. He started off just running away from Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine. But he's actually the bravest person that I've ever seen. A few words from his friends and it was like a switch had been flipped. He went from being a bumbling coward to a – what'd they call it? – a Brave Warrior of the Sea."

"Courage isn't the absence of fear…" Ayako stated, "it's knowing that there's something more important than fear and then acting in spite of it. Usopp was armed with just a slingshot and a duck but from that moment on he kept fighting no matter what happened. Even when I hypnotized his friend… he kept going and ended up saving all of his friends from your sculpture. I hope that if I spend enough time with him some of his courage will rub off on me. When it does I'll finally be brave enough to ask you that question."

Ayako headed for the door but stopped short. "And by the way," she called back to her deranged Uncle. "Earl Grey is piss. I tried one other kind of tea at my Welcome Tea Party and I liked it way better."

Ayako left the anchor room and let out a relieved sigh then looked up in time to see Nami faint.

"EVERYONE! COME QUICKLY!" VIvi screamed as she cradled the fallen Navigator, "IT'S AN EMERGENCY! NAMI JUST FAINTED! SHE HAS A HORRIBLE FEVER!"

* * *

"WHAAAAT?" Sanji screamed in horror down in Nami's bedroom. Nami had been laid in her bed and Vivi was kneeling at her bedside. The Ship's Cook, Captain, Quartermaster, Master Gunner and pet duck had all crowded in behind the Princess. "NAMI'S SICK? VIVI PLEASE! TELL ME SHE'S GOING TO BE OKAY! WHAT HAPPENED TO HER?"

"It's probably from the rapid climate changes," Vivi reasoned as she slipped a thermometer into Nami's mouth. "That's the one obstacle that all sailors who enter the Grand Line end up facing sooner or later. A person's body can't handle facing all the vastly different climates at once. Even the strongest pirates sometimes end up dying from sudden illnesses."

"DYING!?" Luffy, Usopp and even Carue all shrieked. **"QUACK!"**

"NO! Not Nami-swan!" Sanji gasped in anguish.

"I'll defer to your judgment on this," Sabo decided as he folded his arms across his chest.

Vivi blinked and looked back at him, "Really?"

"I've never been sick," Sabo admitted, "Neither has Luffy. Or Ace. Miss Valentine's amnesia is one thing but sickness is another entirely. I've got no experience with this."

"Does it hurt to be sick?" Luffy asked.

"I don't know," Usopp replied, "I've never been sick."

"Me neither," Sanji added.

"ARE YOU PEOPLE EVEN HUMAN!?" Vivi snapped at them.

 **Click…**

"Don't rub it in," Sabo complained to the rifle on his back. "Is being sick like being grievously injured?"

"Yes, yes it is!" Vivi quickly answered, "Your body gets extremely uncomfortable and it hurts a lot."

"OOOOOH!" all four chorused in sudden understanding.

"Unbelievable…" Vivi muttered. "Isn't there anyone on this ship with some kind of medical knowledge?"

Everyone pointed to Nami.

"Sanji, can't you just feed her a bunch of meat?" Luffy suggested, "That'd make her feel better, right?"

"Well it's true that certain foods contain key nutrients," Sanji told him, "I always strive to make sure Nami-swan's meals as nutritional and healthy as possible. I put a hundred times more effort into preparing her meals than I do for the rest of you guys."

"Wait! _What_?" Usopp blurted out.

"No worries, it always tasted good to me," Luffy said.

"I bet all those nutrients make the food taste funny," Sabo chimed in.

"In any case," Sanji continued, "As long as I'm the Ship's Cook none of you ever have to worry about matters of nutrition or vitamins. But it's completely different when someone's sick. I have no way of knowing what's wrong with Nami-swan so I don't know which foods to feed her."

"So just feed her all of them!" Luffy advised.

"That's a good way to make a healthy person sick," Sanji growled at him.

"Forty degree Celsius!" Vivi exclaimed. "Nami's temperature went up again!"

"Well… we're already going to find a doctor when we get to Alabasta, right?" Usopp pointed out, "Couldn't we just bring Nami to the doctor as well?"

"We'd have to sail without her until then…" Sabo mused, "How long until we reach Alabasta?"

"At least a week," Vivi confessed, "A forty degree fever is almost unheard of… It's extremely dangerous." Vivi frowned gravely at the thermometer, "If her condition continues to decline like this… she could die."

That was the wrong thing to say.

Sabo went pale and whispered, "Die!?" Bonnie Anne didn't appear to be thrilled with this news either.

 **CLICK!**

"WHAAAAAAT!?" Luffy screamed. "NAMI'S GONNA DIE!?"

"NAAAAAMIIII! NOOOO!" Usopp cried.

"NAAABBIII! PWEEEZZEE DON'T DIIIIEEEE!" Sanji outright bawled.

" **QQUUUAAACK!"** Even Carue was panicking.

"WE'VE GOTTA FIND A DOCTOR TO SAVE NAMI RIGHT AWAY!" Luffy shouted. "WE CAN'T LET HER DIE!"

"EVERYONE CALM DOWN!" Vivi yelled, "ALL OF YOU CARRYING ON LIKE THIS WILL ONLY MAKE HER CONDITION WORSE! CARUE! STOP! YOU'RE NOT HELPING!"

But Vivi's yelling just added to the yelling. Bonnie eventually had enough of the madness.

 **KER-CHOW!**

" **Sabo… tell your stupid girlfriend not to fire in my room…"**

"Actually that was a blank," Sabo replied. But then he and everyone else froze when they realized who he was replying to.

Nami sat up and held the cool rag to her forehead.

"YAY! SHE'S BETTER!" Luffy cheered.

 **Whap!**

Usopp slapped the back of his head, "No she isn't!"

Nami took a deep gasping breath. Her face was flushed and she was covered in sweat. She pointed a trembling finger at her deck. "There's a newspaper… on top of my desk… you need to see it Vivi…"

Sabo stepped back and snagged the indicated newspaper off of the desk then tossed it to Vivi. The Princess unfolded the newspaper and immediately gasped in horror when she read the headline.

"NOO! THIS IS HORRIBLE!"

"What's the matter Vivi?" Luffy asked. "Is it about Alabasta?"

"Three hundred thousand members of the Royal Army defected and joined the rebellion…" Vivi stated. "This changes everything! Originally there were four hundred thousand rebels and six hundred thousand members of the Royal Army. The Royal Army's superior numbers were enough to keep the rebellion at bay… but now the situation has completely turned around. The Rebel Army has seven hundred thousand people while the Royal Army is down to three hundred thousand people." Sabo opened his mouth to say something but Vivi instinctively turned and cut him off, " _Please_ don't say this is my father's fault!"

"…" Sabo closed his mouth.

"This drastic change in numbers means the Rebel Army can finally make their move…" Vivi lamented. "One million soldiers are going to be trying to kill each other… and the only person benefiting from all that bloodshed will be Crocodile!"

"That paper is from three days ago," Nami informed her. "I didn't want to worry you. We're already sailing as fast as we can." Nami turned to her Captain, "Do you understand the situation, Luffy?"

"It sounds like an emergency," Luffy replied.

Nami nodded. "So it did manage to sink in."

"But Nami…" Usopp protested, "You still need to see a doctor…"

"I'm fine," Nami insisted, "That thermometer must be broken. There's no way someone could have a temperature of forty degrees. I probably just caught heatstroke or something. I'll get better on my own. I don't need a doctor."

Nami swung her legs out of the bed and slowly stood up. "See? I'm fine. We need to get to Alabasta as soon as possible." Nami padded across the room to the stairs. "Thanks for worrying about me."

Once the Navigator was gone, Sabo glanced over his shoulder at his girlfriend, "Did you buy that?"

 **Click!**

"Wait… so she's _not_ better?" Luffy questioned.

"Of course not," Usopp told him, "She's faking and putting up a tough act."

"He's the resident liar," Sanji chimed in, "I suppose this is his area of expertise."

"Simply surviving isn't good enough anymore…" Vivi resolved drawing the attention of the Straw Hats back towards her. "I have to get back to Alabasta as fast as possible. Otherwise a million of my people will be killing each other for no good reason."

"A million people…" Luffy repeated.

"That's quite the burden you carry…" Sanji commiserated with the Princess.

Vivi felt eyes on her and finally tore her gaze away from the newspaper to find herself on the receiving end of an intense stare from Sabo that seemed to pierce through her like a bullet. The Quartermaster had taken Bonnie Anne off his back and was gripping the rifle's barrel over the red ribbon tied around it. "Nami's not dying on my watch."

 **KER-CHOW!**

Vivi flinched from the loud gunshot then watched as Sabo turned and stormed out of the room.

* * *

"Wanna explain what you're doing?" Miss Valentine inquired as she plopped down beside Zoro on the railing outside the galley. She was wearing Sanji's golden dress shirt and Nami's snug white pants. Ayako was sitting on the Boatswain's other side idly kicking her legs.

"We're going straight ahead," Zoro stated.

"Okay… according to what?" Miss Valentine asked.

"That cloud," Zoro answered as he pointed ahead of them.

"Right… that's not how you navigate," the blonde informed him.

"Oh, does this mean your memories of navigating the Grand Line came back?" Zoro questioned.

"No…" the amnesic Officer Agent admitted, "I don't remember sailing at all. This is just logic and reason. Clouds move and change shape. You can't use them to tell direction!"

"Ooo! That cloud over there looks like a dolphin!" Ayako pointed out, "Can we sail to that one instead?"

"NO!" Zoro growled, "I didn't realize bringing all you extra women along meant you'd be acting like backseat sailors. I'm the Bosun so I'm gonna decide which way we're going."

"You may be the Boatswain but you're clearly no Navigator, you dunderhead," Mr. 3 called out from where he was standing in the doorway to the anchor room with his arms folded under the black symbol painted on his chest. "Do you see that glass ball they left you? You need to point the ship in the same direction as the needle and then sail that way."

"Like I'm gonna listen to you," Zoro retorted, "You're the enemy."

"Yes, I _am_ the enemy," Mr. 3 confirmed, "But I'm under the effects of my Niece's hypnotism. I _want you_ to get hopelessly lost… but because of her Betrayal Black I'm actually trying to help you because it goes against my own self-interest."

"You're not going to trick me with your reverse psychology!" Zoro insisted.

"Ooh boy…" Miss Valentine sighed to herself, "He's built like a rock but as dumb as one too… I guess I should probably warn somebody…" Miss Valentine slipped off the railing and landed lightly on her feet in front of the storage room just as the door opened and Nami emerged.

"Oh good, you're back!" Miss Valentine greeted her, "The green guy is trying to get us lost."

"Ugghh…" Nami groaned and staggered up the steps. "Zoro… what're you doing?"

"Like I just finished telling the peanut gallery," Zoro grumbled, "I'm sailing straight towards that cloud."

"CLOUDS AREN'T STATIONARY!" the Navigator berated him. "THEY'RE CONSTANTLY MOVING AND CHANGING SHAPE! You can't follow them! _Especially_ in the Grand Line! You have to follow the Log Pose and nothing else."

"That's what I was telling him!" Mr. 3 groused, "But no one listens to me…"

But the Candle Man was further irritated when he realized that Nami wasn't listening to him either. "Hmm… the wind's changed. We need to… change course…"

"What's going on Nami?" Sabo asked as he came out of the storage room. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Your Bosun has you sailing the wrong way," Miss Valentine reported.

"Damn it," Sabo cursed, "I _knew_ we should've left the fourteen year old in charge of navigating instead."

"Hey! She wanted to sail towards the dolphin!" Zoro attempted to defend himself.

"That just means you have a sense of direction that's on par with a fourteen year old girl that's never navigated before," Mr. 3 commented snidely, "Does that make you feel better about yourself?"

"HURRY UP AND CALL EVERYONE!" Nami yelled. "WE NEED TO CHANGE COURSE! RIGHT! NOW!"

"OI! GET YOUR ASSES OUT HERE!" Sabo barked into the storage room.

Luffy, Usopp, Sanji and Carue immediately came scrambling out. "What's going on?"

"Nami says we need to change course," Sabo told them.

"Take the helm and turn us so we're facing south!" Nami ordered.

"Okay, okay," Zoro agreed and then he was suddenly Boatswain Zoro. "You heard her! Adjust the sails so we can catch the port-side wind! MOVE IT! I'll adjust the whipstaff!"

"Aye-aye!" Sabo and Usopp chorused as they ran to adjust the sails while Zoro darted into the galley.

"What's the matter, Nami-swan?" Sanji inquired. "The sea is calm and the weather looks clear to me."

"There's… wind…" Nami answered as she stared off the side of the ship. "Or there's going to be… I can feel it…"

Luffy made a beeline straight for his Navigator and placed his hand on her forehead to check her fever.

 **Fsssss…**

"YAAAAH!" Luffy howled and yanked his hand back like he'd been burned. "NAMI, YOU'RE HOT!"

"Was that supposed to be a compliment?" Nami teased him, "This is my normal temperature!"

"Nami… I know this is for Vivi's sake," Sanji spoke up again, "But you really don't need to push yourself in your condition."

"I SAID I'M FINE!" Nami snapped at him.

"Nami… you really oughta lie down…" Usopp advised as he perched up on the rigging with Sabo and dropped the sails.

"SHUT UP AND DO YOUR JOB!" Nami hollered.

"It's sweet how much they all care about her…" Miss Valentine commented to Ayako as she came down from upper deck.

The Navigator turned and held her aching head. _"Is it… a storm? It doesn't feel like a normal one…"_

A moment later, the Going Merry had been turned as per the Navigator's instructions. Zoro had come back out of the galley and was leaning against the railing opposite Nami while everyone else was gathered down on the main deck.

Vivi came out of the storage room and went up the steps so she was standing in front of the galley. "Everyone I have a request to ask of you all," the Princess addressed the assembled Straw Hats. "I know that as a guest on your ship that it's not my place to make such demands but with the crisis escalating in my country it is imperative that we get there as soon as possible. Not a single moment can be spared. That's why my request is for this ship to head for Alabasta at its fastest speed."

"…" the Straw Hats were all silent as they stared up at Vivi.

"Of course we will!" Nami assured her with a strained smile. "We promised we would."

"..." the goofy smile was gone from Luffy's face as he stared up at Vivi.

"…" Sanji was scowling as he took a drag from his cigarette.

"…" Sabo was practically boring a hole through her with his sharp gaze as he leaned back against the main mast with his rifle in his arms.

"…" Even Mr. 3 and Miss Valentine could sense the tension in the air and quietly hung back with Ayako by the anchor room door.

Vivi took a deep breath and continued, "And so… we need to find an island with a doctor immediately. We have to get Nami better as fast as possible so we can head for Alabasta. After all, this ship can only sail at its fastest speed when Nami's navigating, right?"

The serious expressions were gone and Vivi was greeted by smiles.

"YOU BET!" Luffy exclaimed, "THIS SHIP CAN'T GO ANY FASTER THAN THAT!"

"Are you sure about this?" Usopp asked, "Aren't you worried about those million people?"

"I am," Vivi confirmed, answering both questions at once. "That's why we _need to_ get Nami to a doctor as quickly as possible."

"Well said Vivi!" Sanji cheered, "I think I've fallen for you all over again!"

"You've got guts," Zoro remarked.

Vivi sought out one pirate's approval in particular and was pleased to see that his harsh expression had softened and that for the first time ever he was giving her a genuine smile. "Thank you… _Vivi_."

Vivi grinned and knew she'd made the right decision. She turned to the sick Navigator. "I'm sorry for making you worry Nami," the Princess apologized. "But please don't overexert yourself."

Nami nodded as she clung to the railing in order to say on her feet. "I think… I might really be sick…"

"Why are you smiling so much?" Galdino asked his young Niece who was grinning like a loon.

"Didn't you just meet them too?" Miss Valentine inquired curiously.

"I'm smiling because all of them are…" Ayako replied, "It's infectious. It feels like the entire ship's spirits just lifted. The Princess put the health and safety of their… our… _my_ crewmate ahead of her country. She's truly one of us now."

"WHAT IS THAAAAT?!" Luffy suddenly shouted.

Everyone turned to look back behind the Going Merry a saw a huge cyclone spinning on the water.

"IT'S A CYCLONE!" Sanji yelled.

"AND IT'S HUUUUGE!" Usopp screamed.

"Nami! Hang on!" Vivi dashed over and caught Nami as she fainted again.

"Wasn't that the direction we were just sailing in?" Sabo asked.

 **KER-CHOW!**

"GAH! That was close one!" Luffy exclaimed.

"If we kept going Zoro's way we would've sailed right into it!" Usopp realized.

"Oh, sure, rub it in…" the directionally challenged Boatswain grumbled.

" _Incredible…"_ Vivi thought to herself as she stared down at the unconscious Navigator. _"Cyclones are said to be impossible to predict in the Grand Line. But she did it anyway. She doesn't predict the weather through a forecast or other weather theories… it's like she feels it in her bones and knows instinctively."_

"I've never seen a Navigator like her before…" the Princess admitted.

"ALRIGHT GUYS! LET'S HURRY!" Luffy called out to the crew. "WE'LL KEEP HEADING SOUTH UNTIL WE FIND A DOCTOR!"

"RIGHT!" everyone shouted in agreement.

* * *

Nami woke up hours later in a room full of snoring and correctly deduced that it was now night. Vivi had fallen asleep kneeling by her bed, Luffy was sprawled out on the floor in the middle of the room snoring loudly, Zoro was once again using Carue as a feather pillow, Usopp was slumped against her bookcase, Sanji was sleeping sitting up against her bar and Ayako had curled up in the corner under the stairs.

Nami slipped out of her bed and located her slippers then quietly padded across her crowded room while making sure she didn't step on any of her sleeping crewmates. She reached the stairs and crept up them to the storage room. The Navigator was immediately assaulted by the cold as she made her way out onto the main deck.

The sick Navigator wrapped her arms around herself as she looked up and noticed the first flurries of snow beginning to fall. She couldn't make out any stars through the thick snow clouds. The Going Merry appeared to just be drifting aimlessly with the current. Nami spotted a top hat up in the crow's nest which probably meant that Sabo was on night watch.

"Zzzzzz…" the Quartermaster let out a snore which caused the rifle propped against his chest to slide to the side until it slipped off and rested against the side of the crow's nest.

 **Click!**

Nami blinked up at the rifle that she was pretty sure had just told her to go back to bed. This apparently meant that _Bonnie Anne_ was the one actually on night watch.

"What're you gonna do?" the Navigator challenged the rifle. "Shoot and wake everybody up?"

 **CLICK!**

Nami rolled her eyes and made her way up the stairs to the galley. Once inside, she immediately honed in on the abandoned Eternal Pose to Alabasta sitting on the galley table. They clearly weren't using it to navigate since there was now a thin layer of frost that had accumulated around the glass ball. Nami scraped some of the frost off and quickly determined that they were drifting south. They were getting farther and farther away from Alabasta by the minute.

Nami went over to the whipstaff and pushed against it… but it wouldn't budge. Damn… in her weakened condition she didn't have the strength to adjust the rudder.

" **You probably shouldn't be doing that."**

Nami jumped in surprise. She whirled around and saw Miss Valentine standing in the doorway bundled up in a blanket. The former Pirate Thief's illness had taken its toll on her senses. She hadn't even heard the blonde coming.

"Someone should put a bell on you," Nami remarked.

"I'm finally getting used to these Kilo Kilo Fruit Powers again," Miss Valentine replied. "Floor boards and stairs don't creak under your weight when you only weigh five kilograms." The blonde woman came over and held out her blanket to Nami. "You should put this on."

"You don't need to—" Nami tried to protest but the blonde cut her off.

"Sure I do. I've seen how much everyone on this ship cares about you. It's endearing. I know Sanji would never forgive me if he learned that your condition got worse when there was something I could have done to prevent it. So for both our sake… put it on."

"Fine…" Nami relented. She took the offered blanket and wrapped it around herself, "Sanji, huh?"

"Well… Sabo's sweet and all but even I've noticed that he's really only helping me out of guilt, honor and obligation. Plus everyone keeps mentioning that he has a girlfriend. But I still haven't seen her."

"She's the one that's _actually_ keeping watch while Sabo's busy sleeping," Nami revealed. But the blonde Officer Agent didn't take the bait to go and check.

"Sanji, on the other hand, has been kind to me since the moment I met him," Miss Valentine continued, "He doesn't owe me anything but he's going above and beyond to make my time here more comfortable. Or at least… he _was_ until you got sick then you were his main concern."

Nami raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not jealous!" Miss Valentine quickly assured her. "But the fact that everyone here cares so much about you really makes me realize how lonely I am. I… I can't remember my family… I don't know if I ever had any friends… I'm all alone in your empty men's quarters with just that creepy Mr. 3-guy for company. He keeps telling me _not to_ rub his chest. I didn't, of course. He's not a blonde and it doesn't look like he's got much there to rub. But now even _he's_ not talking to me."

Nami felt a strong twinge of sympathy for the amnesic blonde and decided to try and cheer her up a bit. "Well, the good news is… your condition hasn't changed your taste in men."

Miss Valentine blinked, "It hasn't?"

"You got your head injury because you were distracted fondling Sabo," Nami informed her.

"Kyahaha…" Miss Valentine let out a light laugh, "Too bad I can't remember that part either…"

Nami smirked, "And if you're feeling that lonely, you're welcome to join the others down in my room."

"Oh… I wouldn't want to impose," Miss Valentine refused. She _still_ wasn't taking the bait.

"You're not," Nami told her, "it's my room. I say you're welcome. _And_ as long as you tell Ayako what her evil Uncle asked you when she wakes up, we can say you're there as a favor to me." Nami smirked and added one final touch. "I saw a nice empty space next to Sanji when I was making my way through…"

"Kyahahahaha!" Miss Valentine giggled, "Alright! You've convinced me!"

Yes!

 **WHUP!**

NOO!

"What're you doing!?" Nami yelped as she found herself thrown over the blonde's shoulder.

"I thought I was the one with the bad memory," Miss Valentine remarked, "I already told you that I wasn't going to let you do anything to worsen your condition. I don't want to disappoint my eye candy."

"I take back my invitation!" Nami squealed as she struggled weakly against the much stronger blonde. She definitely weighed a lot more than five kilograms now if her heavy foot falls were anything to go by. "I take it back!"

"Kyahahaha!" Miss Valentine laughed as she carried Nami out of the galley. "I don't need your permission anymore. Now I've actually got a good reason to be down there: keeping the sneaky sick girl from escaping."

"Alright there, Miss Valentine?" Sabo called down from the crow's nest.

"Yup," the blonde chirped, "I'm gonna get this naughty girl back to bed and then stick around to make sure she stays there."

Sabo nodded his thanks. Nami was probably hallucinating at this point because she could've sworn she saw a woman standing in the crow's nest next to Sabo giving her a really smug look. Although the woman wasn't quite human which actually supported Nami's theory that Bonnie Anne was some kind of demon.

 **CLICK!**

Nami blinked. The hallucination was gone. She glared up at the rifle as she was carried into the storage room. The damn riflegeist had blown the whistle on her and alerted both blondes about her intended nocturnal activities. _And_ the demon-bitch-in-the-rifle was now tormenting her strange visions. "You damn rat…"

* * *

Early the next morning Usopp, bundled up in a brown winter coat to combat the falling snow, climbed up to the crow's nest to see Sabo with Bonnie Anne cuddled inside his blue coat. The coat in question was notably thicker than normal. He was also wearing a dark blue waistcoat with gray pants instead of his usual beige.

"Are you guys ready to come down?" the Master Gunner inquired. "You've gotta be freezing. When did the snow start?"

"Somewhere around midnight I think," Sabo answered. "I'm not entirely sure. That was Bonnie's shift. Lucky I wore a thicker coat. What time is it?"

"About six," Usopp stated. "You two were up here all night so I thought I'd take over."

"Bonnie and I split the time so it wasn't too bad," Sabo replied. "I figure if we can keep this going and split six four-hour shifts between you, me, Bonnie, Zoro, Sanji and Ayako we can have a round the clock lockout. Vivi has Carue to help her look after Nami which will leave Luffy free to run back and forth between lookout on his seat and Nami-care as much as his short attention span dictates."

"Works for me," Usopp agreed as he climbed into the crow's nest.

"I'll send Zoro to take over for you at around ten," Sabo informed him, "Then Sanji can do his shift in between lunch and dinner. Ayako can go up after dinner which will leave the two night shifts for Bonnie and me again."

"Did you spend all night coming up with that schedule?" Usopp questioned.

"There wasn't anything else to do," Sabo said, "All the good stuff happened during Bonnie's shift." Sabo patted the rifle tucked in his coat. "Poor thing's all tuckered out. Now I'm gonna see if I can find my rifle sleeve to protect her from all this snow."

Sabo left the crow's nest and Usopp took his spot then raised his binoculars and stared off in a distance. "Come on Doctor… come on out…"

* * *

"Good morning, Uncle…" Ayako called out to Galdino as she stood over the sleeping sculptor in the men's quarters. The room was empty with the exception of Sabo and Bonnie who were cuddled up together in an overhead hammock sleeping off their late night. "How'd you sleep?"

"Sleep was good…" Mr. 3 replied. He blinked then looked down at the green symbol on his chest. It was entwined with the black Colors Trap which was already there to make a vague 'eight' shape.

"A little birdy told me that you were trying to get the Betrayal Black rubbed off," Ayako commented. "You were trying to fight it using reverse psychology so now I need to get creative. I think that by adding some Calming Green into the mix I can quell any notions you might be harboring about fighting back. The side effects of combining Betrayal Black with Calming Green are going to leave you a little drowsy. So I think I'll call it: **Colors Trap… Soporific Midnight Green.** "

Mr. 3 calmly accepted his fate, closed his eyes and went back to sleep. Ayako took a blanket off of a nearby hammock and wrapped it around the Candle Man, "Sleep tight, Uncle."

* * *

Up above deck, Miss Valentine climbed up to the crow's nest and presented a plate to Zoro. The Boatswain had two inches of snow piled on top of him. He was wearing a long pale blue winter coat so he probably didn't even notice the snow and the cold. Miss Valentine was wearing a pale yellow winter coat with orange stripes that she had borrowed from Nami's closet.

"I brought you lunch!" the blonde announced cheerily. "Sanji wanted to personally deliver Nami and Vivi's so I offered to play waitress and give you yours. You've been up here for a few hours now and could probably use something warm."

"Hey…" Zoro suddenly grunted, "Do you think it's possible to stand on water?"

"You're asking the wrong girl… I can't remember anything I've ever heard of," Miss Valentine admitted. "But it might be possible if the water's partially frozen… and if the person doesn't weigh much."

"What about moving water?" Zoro questioned, "Like the sea?"

"I don't think so," Miss Valentine replied, "why?"

"Then what do you make of that…" the Boatswain asked as swapped his binoculars with the plate and pointed ahead of them.

Miss Valentine peered in the direction Zoro had indicated and her green eyes widened in surprise. "THERE'S SOMEONE STANDING ON THE WATER!"

"On the water?" Luffy repeated. He and Usopp dashed up onto the front deck.

A man in a green jester costume with a thick fur coat over it was standing in the middle of the ocean.

Luffy and Usopp rubbed their eyes but the man was still there. He appeared to be some kind of archer judging by the quiver of arrows and the bow that was as long as he was tall that were strapped to his back.

" **Hello… Sure is cold out today…"**

"Yeah… it is cold," Luffy admitted.

"Cold?" Usopp repeated, "It's freezing. And you're not even wearing a coat."

"Oh… is that so?" the jester-archer said.

"…" everyone stared at the strange man in surprise.

"…" the strange man stared back and seemed just as surprised as them.

 **SPLOOOOSH!**

Suddenly the man rose up out of the sea and revealed that he'd been standing on a platform, a platform that was on top of a mast.

"WAAAHH!" the Straw Hats yelped as the Going Merry rocked back as a massive metal dome emerged from the water.

"WHAT'S THAT THING?!" Luffy exclaimed as he stared at the round metal vessel, "A WATERMELON?"

* * *

"EEEP!" Ayako squeaked as she was knocked off her feet from the ship's shaking.

"Huh… what's going on?" Sabo grunted as he sat up in his bunk.

"Zzzz…" the Colors Trap on Mr. 3 kept him sound asleep despite his hammock's rocking.

* * *

"WHY IS THE SHIP SHAKING!?" Vivi shrieked. She had upgraded her attire to combat the cold with a white winter coat. Sanji was wearing a black one as well as scarf.

" **QUUUAACK!"** Carue squawked in surprise.

Sanji acted quickly and lifted Nami's entire bed up off of the ground and balanced it on his leg so the sick Navigator wouldn't be disturbed by the shaking.

"WHAT'RE YOU IDIOTS DOING UP THERE!?" Sanji demanded, "IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO NAMI, I'LL KICK YOUR SKULLS IN!"

* * *

 **CHUNK! CHUNK!**

Metal panels came loose from the dome and folded down to reveal a fancy round pirate ship inside. There was a large hippo with a crown serving as the figurehead and a large crew of uniformed men.

"Is that thing… a ship?" Zoro wondered.

"Not just any ship…" Usopp corrected him as he stared up at the skull and cross bones on the black flag. The skull was wearing a crown and its tongue was its lipless mouth which had bolts around it. "Pirates…"

Luffy frowned as he eyed the crown on the figurehead and pirate flag, "Sabo's not going to like this…"

" **MAHAHAHAHAHA!"** a man on the ship laughed, **"WERE YOU SURPRISED BY** _ **BLIKING**_ **, MY SUBMERSIBLE ATTACK SHIP?"**

"Why now of all times?" Zoro grumbled.

A moment later, Sabo climbed up from the men's quarters. Bonnie Anne was strapped on his back in a black zip up rifle sleeve with her nozzle pointing outward. "Hey guys, what's with all the commotion?

 **Click! Click! Click!**

The Quartermaster's response was six men in black fur-lined uniforms aiming their rifles at him. He remained perched on the third to last step of the latter and discretely stuck his hand back down into the trap door to signal for the young Artist below him on the ladder to remain quiet.

"Oh… I see we've been boarded," Sabo noted. He slowly raised his hands up in momentary surrender when he saw that a grand total of thirty uniformed men were holding Luffy, Usopp, Zoro and Miss Valentine at gunpoint.

 **THUNK!**

The storage room door swung open and Sanji dashed out. "What's going…" the Ship's Cook trailed off and calmly lit up a cigarette as he took in the situation. "So what happened?"

"We got ambushed," Luffy informed him as he sat casually on the rear railing of the front deck and ignored the seven rifles that were pointed at him. He was a stark contrast to Usopp who was also on the front deck. He had three armed gunmen standing around him and was stiff as a board with his arms stretched high up over his head in surrender. Zoro looked annoyed at the two men that were holding him and Miss Valentine at gunpoint up in the crow's nest. The amnesic assassin looked terrified and had slipped behind the Boatswain.

 **Click! Click! Click!**

"I figured as much," Sanji said as four soldiers aimed at him.

" **So that makes six of you…"** a fat man on the railing recounted. His jaw was round with had a metallic sheen that made it look like a tin can. He had the same bolts around his lips as his ship's Jolly Roger. He wore a metallic coat that looked like was made of metal and nailed together as well as a furry white cloak with a hippo's head for the hood. "I highly doubt there are only six people on this ship…"

 **Munch… Munch…**

The fat man was snacking on a slab of meat that was pierced on a fancy jewel encrusted dagger. But then he took another big bite and ate not just the meat but the blade of the dagger as well.

 **CHOMP!**

"Let me ask you something," the fat man said as he finished off his snack by tossing the jewel encrusted handle into his mouth and swallowing it down.

 **GULP!**

"Did that guy just _eat_ a dagger?" Luffy exclaimed.

"M-my teeth hurt just from watching!" Usopp whimpered.

"Did you see the jewels on that dagger?" Sabo asked, "That seems wasteful."

"We're trying to find Drum Kingdom," the fat man explained, "Do any of you happen to have an Eternal Pose or a Log Pose on you that'll lead us there?"

"I'll handle this Luffy," Sabo volunteered. He eyes briefly drifted over the round pirate ship and the crown-wearing skull on its flag before lowering so he could address the man on the railing ahead of him. "We're the Straw Hat Pirates. My name's Sabo and I am the Quartermaster of the crew. That, my corpulent friend, is called an introduction." The fat man blinked and seemed unaware that Sabo had just insulted him. "It's proper etiquette to introduce yourself before asking something of someone else. That's strike one."

"I'm Wapol, Captain of the Tin Can King Pirates," the fat man sneered. "And I wasn't _asking_! I'm _demanding_!"

Sabo looked over at Sanji, "You hear this guy? He sounds like Don Krieg." Sabo turned back to Wapol. "Second rule of negotiation, you need to be willing to offer something in exchange. I'll tell you everything I know about Drum Kingdom… if you agree to loan us a doctor for a bit."

The Straw Hats' eyes widened. The thought that their enemy attackers could have a doctor on board their ship hadn't crossed their minds. They collectively decided to let the Quartermaster do his thing.

Miss Valentine leaned closer to Zoro, "Does he actually know anything about Drum Kingdom?" she inquired quietly.

"I doubt it," Zoro whispered.

"This isn't a negotiation!" Wapol growled, "This is an _interrogation_! Yes, I have doctors on my ship. They're twenty of the finest medical minds in the world! But they're for my exclusive use only! I wouldn't share them with the likes of you!"

"So you're hoarding your doctors to yourself," Sabo recounted. "That's rather selfish of you. Strike two."

" _You_ seem to be forgetting something important about negotiation too!" Wapol snapped. "You need to have something called _leverage_. My men outnumber you five to one and I've got twenty-two more back on my ship. If you don't have the information I'm after then I'll settle for taking all your treasure. Anyone that gets in my way will be shot on the spot!"

"No, no, that doesn't work for me," Sabo casually replied, "How about a counteroffer? _You_ can stand down now and we'll allow you to take your men and withdraw peacefully. We'll give you as long as it takes for one of your doctors to examine our sick crewmate. However, if you refuse my very considerate offer then any injuries and casualties that your forces incur will be on your hands."

"I'm the Ki-Captain!" Wapol exclaimed, "My soldiers know to do everything I ask them without question! I'm no common pirate! I'm Captain Wapol! I'm a big deal! I'll teach you some respect, smart mouth!" Wapol hopped off the railing and pointed his finger at Sabo. "Munch Munch Shock… Finger Dagger…"

 **Shoom!**

Wapol's extended finger transformed and now resembled the dagger he'd eaten earlier. He waved the sharp blade in Sabo's face.

"Oh… I see you've got Devil Fruit Powers," Sabo noted.

"That's right," Wapol boasted, "I ate the Munch Munch Fruit. I can eat anything and make it part of myself. Now show me some respect or I'll devour your ship! You'd better apologize now!"

"Alright… I'm sorry…" Sabo apologized.

Wapol smirked, "Not good enough. Where'd your manners go all of a sudden? A proper apology is done with a bow. Grovel for forgiveness… and maybe I'll only eat _half_ of your ship."

"…" Sabo's face went blank. His eyes were shaded by the brim of his top hat.

Luffy shook his head, "He shouldn't have said that…"

Usopp lowered his hands, "That guy's toast…"

Zoro rolled his eyes, "Great… now he has an excuse…"

Sanji took a slow drag of his cigarette, "And that's strike three…"

"Got a problem with that?" Wapol challenged Sabo. "Or perhaps you'd prefer it if I cut your tongue out?"

"No… I'll bow…" Sabo agreed with a dark smirk, **"I'll give you all the respect that you deserve…"**

Ayako climbed back down the ladder. "I don't know what's going on… but I know malice when I hear it."

Still only halfway out of the flap in the floor, Sabo swept off his top hat and bent forward into a low bow. "BURST FIRE… BARRAGE!" Bonnie Anne opened fire without Sabo having to pull her trigger.

 **KER-CHOW-CHOW-CHOW!**

Three rounds plugged Wapol's chest in the span of two seconds and blasted him back into the railing.

 **FWIP!**

Sabo flipped out of the trap door swung Bonnie off his back and smashed his sleeved rifle upside Wapol's tin can jaw. "KNOCK BACK!"

 **WHAAAAM!**

Wapol's metallic jaw was dented as he went flying off the Going Merry, clear over his own ship and disappeared into the snowy sky.

"YOU BASTARD!" a bearded man with an afro and boxing gloves shouted from back on Bliking, "YOU SHOT CAPTAIN WAPOL! HE CAN'T SWIM! FALL BACK, MEN! RETREAT!"

Wapol's soldiers fled the Going Merry like it was on fire.

"GET THE 20 MDS ON STAND BY!" the jester archer yelled, "HURRY!"

 **Click!**

Sabo pointed Bonnie Anne at the two gunmen that had just climbed down from the crow's nest. "You two… Leave your coats…" The two soldiers shared a look then quickly shucked off their black fur coats and rushed off after their crew.

"YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS, PIRATES!" the afro-boxer hollered as Bliking sailed off after its lost Captain.

"REMEMBER US!" the jester-archer shouted as the ship departed.

Sabo looked up and saw Luffy, Zoro, Usopp, Sanji and Miss Valentine all staring at him. Ayako popped out of the hole in the floor and stared at him along with the others.

"What?" Sabo asked. "You can't tell me you didn't see that coming."

"The guy did have a crown on his flag," Sanji admitted.

"I'm actually surprised you held off as long as you did," Zoro confessed.

"Sabo could've let us fight too, though," Luffy grumbled.

"Hey, _you_ might be immune to bullets but the Going Merry isn't!" Usopp scolded him. "And neither am I for that matter!"

"Good point," Miss Valentine chimed in, "What do you think would've happened to this ship if those thirty gunmen suddenly opened fire?"

"I never even got to see him…" Ayako complained. "But he sure sounded like bad news."

"It would've been nice if we could've had one of his doctors to take a look at Nami-swan," Sanji said.

"Not likely," Zoro replied, "That Wapol was really shady. I wouldn't trust any of his men on this ship."

" **Did you say 'Wapol'?"** Everyone turned to see that Vivi had come out of the storage room. "Sorry… I heard gunshots."

"Yeah, Sabro and Bonnie just blew that guy off our ship," Usopp informed her.

"Have you ever heard of him, Vivi?" Sanji inquired.

Vivi sighed. "Yes… I met him six years ago at a Reverie that I attended with my father."

"What's a Reverie?" Luffy asked.

"An annual meeting held between the rulers of the kingdoms that make up the World Government," Sanji answered. He and Vivi stared pointedly at Sabo. "Any second now…"

"WHAAAAT? YOU MEAN I JUST CLOBBERED _A KING_!?"

"THAT FAT GUY WAS KING!?" Luffy exclaimed, "Then why is he the Captain of a pirate crew?"

"I don't know," Vivi admitted, "Six years ago he was the ruler of Drum Kingdom. Alabasta and Drum Kingdom are like night and day. My country is a desert on a Summer Island while Drum Kingdom is a snowy Winter Island. The same goes for their Kings. My father and Wapol are polar opposites." Vivi looked sheepishly at Sabo, "If there was ever a King that fit your view of a tyrannical ruler… it's Wapol."

"DIBS!" Sabo shouted, "I CALL DIBS! If we ever run into _King_ Wapol again… he's mine!" He stared around him at the others, "What? You guys can't tell me that you weren't expecting this."

"What if I wanna fight him?" Luffy asked.

"You're fighting a Warlord when we get to Alabasta, remember?" Sabo reminded him.

"Oh, you're right," Luffy agreed. "Keep your crummy King. I'm gonna kick Crocodile's ass!"

"Kings and Warlords don't matter right now," Sanji insisted, "What matters most is finding a Doctor."

"Drum Kingdom is a Winter Island…" Vivi stated, "Maybe this snow means we're approaching it. We'd have to be extremely lucky to find it from traveling on a straight course like this."

"There's no one luckier than Luffy," Sabo assured her. "Unfortunately… it's a combination of good and bad luck. The good luck means he always ends up in the right place at the right time. But the bad luck usually leads to us walking into a heap of trouble."

"RIGHT! KEEP GOING STRAIGHT!" Luffy exclaimed. "WE'LL FIND CRUMB KINGDOM!"

"That's _Drum_ Kingdom," Usopp corrected him.

"Oh… I guess I'm hungry," Luffy realized… then his eyes bulged. "GAH! WE FORGOT ABOUT LUNCH!" The rubber man crossed the ship in the blink of an eye and was instantly slipping into the galley.

"Everything's probably cold by now…" Sanji admitted, "At least he won't let it go to waste."

"I'll go tell Nami that everything's okay," Vivi decided. "Keep an eye on the weather. Stable weather means we're approaching an island. If it stops snowing that means we've passed it." On that note the Princess slipped back into the storage room.

"Can I have this?" Ayako requested as she abandoned the blanket she'd been wearing and picked up one of the uniforms that Sabo had forced two of Wapol's soldiers to leave behind.

Sabo nodded, "That's why I told them to leave them. Nami didn't plan for all these extra people when she went shopping at Loguetown. Although… you might want to swap for a smaller one…"

"This is fine," Ayako said. The long man's coat was huge on the small Artist. The bottom of the coat dragged on the deck and the sleeves hung off of her arms. "I can paint it, right?"

"It's your coat, do whatever you want with it," Sabo told her.

"You're gonna paint that… with your hypno-paints?" Usopp questioned as he went over to Ayako and eyed her new coat.

"Yup, wanna help?" the Artist offered.

"Would I get hypnotized?" Usopp inquired. "Would _you_ get hypnotized wearing it?"

"I'm immune to the scent of my paints," Ayako informed him, "And you won't be hypnotized unless the paint is in the shape of one of my Colors Traps."

"Cool!" Usopp exclaimed, "I'll help you out." The two vanished down into the men's quarters.

"Should I give Nami her coat back?" Miss Valentine asked as she finally climbed back down from the crow's nest. She glanced down at the yellow coat she was wearing and eyed the thick black uniform.

"Nah, that coat looks like it's made for you," Sabo said as he picked up the uniform. "These coats seem thicker so we'll save it for Nami when we take her off the ship to the Doctor." Sabo lobbed the uniform over to Sanji who nodded and headed back into the Nami's room.

"So… about lunch?" Miss Valentine said to Sabo.

"Something tells me it's all gone at this point," Sabo told her.

"ALRIGHT! I'M DONE EATING!" Luffy shouted as he ran out of the galley and dashed back to the figurehead.

"ALL OF IT!?" Miss Valentine exclaimed as she rushed up to the galley, "There were ten meals in there!"

"Keep the ship sailing straight!" Luffy instructed from his perch on the figurehead stared off in a distance. "We'll find the Doctor that way!"

"Aye, Captain," Zoro called down from the crow's nest. "I'll keep my eyes peeled."

Sabo stood alone on the main deck and glanced down at Bonnie Anne, "This has been a good day for us. It's not even two and we already got to beat up a King." The Quartermaster looked off the side of the Going Merry in the direction that Wapol's ship had long since vanished in. "Do you think we'll see him again?"

 **KER-CHOW!**

Sabo grinned, "I'll be ready for him."

* * *

Alright, so who had five minutes after meeting him? Bonus points for anyone who said Sabo would connect with three shots to the chest.

Can any of you honestly say that you _didn't_ see Sabo versus Wapol coming?

I'm getting this out of the way now: Sabo is taking the Wapol fights. ALL of the Wapol fights. Luffy's victory over Wapol in canon is minor at best. It isn't recognized and it doesn't do anything for him beyond recruiting Chopper. His best moment from the whole battle is the unbreakable pirate flag bit. My battle at Drum Castle is going to be a HUGE turning point for Sabo so he needed to snag this one. Luffy will still have Crocodile when they get to Alabasta. _That's_ the battle that will be globally recognized.

Silver signing off

 **A/N: 11-28-16 - Sorry crew, I had a family emergency that kept me from updating last week. And it looks like I'm going to be spending December taking care of my mother. This means I'm putting Brother on Board on hold until after the holidays. Sorry to disappoint but family comes first. I PROMISE I'll be back next year.  
**


	32. Dalton

_**BROTHER ON BOARD**_

Bluejay Blaze - Miss Valentine is a relatively simple character that I don't really think meets the high Straw Hats standard the way Ayako does. You'll see her getting closer to the Straw Hats in this chapter but she isn't going to be joining the crew.

Psychochiken - Luffy's main goals in this arc will be getting Nami to the doctor and recruiting Chopper. Sabo's presence means that Luffy can focus on those things while he deals with Wapol.

The Keeper of Worlds - The Munch Munch Fruit is an interesting concept to explore. But I don't think we'll get a chance to find out about what would happen if Wapol ate a certain sentient rifle. If Wapol ate Bonnie... Sabo would literally tear his head off, reach down his throat and pull his rifle back out. I think I've made it abundantly clear how vicious and blood thirsty Sabo can be towards anyone that threatens Bonnie Anne.

Great - Thanks!

The Patient One - First of all, thanks for expressing your concern about my mother. I appreciate that. Also, I'm pretty sure Wapol was a King at that Reverie. Why else would he have been at the meeting with King Thalassa Lucas and King Nefertari Cobra? Even if he wasn't, I wrote this chapter under the assumption that he was. Doesn't seem like a big deal either way. You'll see Miss Valentine further integrating into the group in this chapter but you'll also see that her motivations are rather self serving. But if you didn't know who you were... I'd think you'd want to do everything you could for a chance to reclaim that knowledge. And Buchi's still alive. Characters with a name have a ten-times greater chance of surviving getting shot by Sabo compared to their unnamed companions. That's why he and Jango survived while a number of the nameless Black Cat Pirates didn't.

Lightsbane1905 - Maybe I'm starting to tease it because I'm getting closer to the big reveal? *Wink!* There's another Bonnie tease in the last scene of this chapter. But again keep in mind that it's colorized by Nami's sick and vindictive perspective. Enjoy. And no, Ayako can't keep Zoro from doing what he wants. But she might be able to stop Carue from diving in after him.

luvBonnieAnne - Thank you for your well wishes to my mother. She's recovering and already wants to get back to work. You'll get another Bonnie hint at the end of this chapter. But keep in mind that all the hints come from Nami who only sees Bonnie because she's sick and on the verge of death. And yes, I was thinking of that Zuko-Ozai scene when I wrote the one with Ayako and Galdino. Remember, Ayako's still just a fourteen year old girl. She doesn't have the same courage and heart that the older Straw Hats do. She hopes to become braver through her association with them. And if you liked Sabo and Vivi's interaction in the last chapter... wait until you see what they do in this one when Vivi's confronted with the manner in which Wapol used to run his country.

rasEnshur1KEn - Thanks for your well wishes. That fan service was strategically placed. I wanted to have a comedic moment before I went into the serious confrontation between Ayako and Galdino. Also, you'll see in this chapter that despite Ayako's ill will towards her uncle she still has a 'What would Uncle Galdino do?' moment where she uses her cunning to get out of a bad situation. So in a way, the crazy wax sculptor did rub off on his young niece. Too bad Sabo won't be able to beat up Eneru before learning that he's a God. I bet he'd _love_ that.

Babyuknowme13 - The holidays are over so here's more! Enjoy!

yuzukikuran476 - Thanks for all those reviews. Here's that update you wanted.

 **A/N: Happy New Year! This year I'm going to switch over to a bi-weekly Monday update schedule. It was getting really hard to write a chapter a week so I'm hoping that with twice as much time I won't have to devote almost all my free time to writing.**

* * *

 **Dalton-**

"Are you telling me that _the cook_ did this to you?" Miss All Sunday asked as she surveyed the Unluckies upon their return to Alabasta. She frowned as she took in her pets' ruffled appearance.

"…" The otter and the vulture nodded.

"I suppose he's never heard the phrase don't shoot the messenger," Miss All Sunday remarked. She calmly eyed the sketch of the blonde cook. "If he wants a bounty so bad… I'll give him one…"

Mr. 13 and Miss Friday simultaneously decided that now wasn't the time to inform Miss All Sunday that they'd attacked the pirate first when they'd caught him pretending to be Mr. 3 on a snail call with Mr. 0. Miss All Sunday didn't need to know that the cook had beaten them in self-defense.

" **What are you doing?"**

Miss All Sunday calmly rearranged the posters that Mr. 13 had drawn before she turned to face Mr. 0. "The Unluckies returned with the sketches Mr. 3 used to identify and execute Princess Vivi and the Straw Hats on Little Garden."

Sir Crocodile loomed over her as he surveyed the collection of sketches that she had arranged so only Luffy, Sabo and Vivi's were visible. "Hmm… your pet's sketches have improved."

"I believe we have Miss Goldenweek to thank for that," Miss All Sunday informed him as she traced the dark lines that outlined Vivi's face. "She taught Mr. 13 a few tricks."

Crocodile picked up the sketch of Luffy and stared at the smiling pirate. Miss All Sunday glanced down and was relieved to see that Crocodile removing Luffy's poster had only revealed Zoro's underneath. "This was him… 'Straw Hat' Monkey D. Luffy… Why do I feel like I've heard that name before?"

"He was in the news almost a week ago," Miss All Sunday answered. "He defeated all the big name pirates in the East Blue and helped the Marines."

"If he was on good terms with the World Government… why does he have a bounty?" Crocodile asked.

"Oh, that was my doing," Miss All Sunday explained. "I thought putting a price on their heads would give Mr. 3 some extra motivation to complete his mission. He'll probably be expecting to receive a nice bonus when Mr. 2 finds him."

"And why this amount?" Crocodile inquired, "Do you really think a rookie pirate is worth thirty million?"

"The Unluckies kept track of the Straw Hats' activities in Whiskey Peak," Miss All Sunday stated. "He had Devil Fruit Powers and defeated Mr. 5 with relative ease. We're sitting under a casino that makes thirty million berries in the span of a week. I should know, you made me the manager. Your casino is the only business in this entire country that's earning a decent profit. But I'd say that's mostly from the tourists. Speaking of which, you're due to make a public appearance upstairs in fifteen minutes."

"Fortunately, Mr. 3 will soon be dead and we won't have to pay him anything," Crocodile reasoned. He tossed Luffy's sketch down on the others then turned to leave. But when he reached the steps he stopped and called back to his Vice President. "Don't play games with me, Nico Robin."

Miss All Sunday frowned, "I wouldn't dream of it… Sir Crocodile."

Nico Robin waited until she was absolutely sure that Crocodile had left the lair before she turned back to her patiently waiting pets. "But he never said anything about not playing games with the Straw Hats. Let's see what we can do to make things a little bit more interesting when they finally reach Alabasta."

* * *

"Keep your eyes peeled, Sanji," Vivi called up to the Ship's Cook, who was taking his shift on lookout. "This snow has been falling for the last day and the temperature has been dropping consistently. Consistent weather is usually a sign that we're approaching an island."

The Princess continued up to the front deck where Sabo was leaning on the front railing staring off the front of the ship in a distance.

"Can I ask you something?" Vivi requested as she walked up behind the Quartermaster.

Sabo looked back over his shoulder at the blue haired girl. Vivi had been practically glued to Nami's side ever since the Navigator first fainted. The only reason she had Luffy, Zoro and Carue take over for her now was because she thought they were approaching an island. "Sure."

"Why are you so invested in this?" Vivi asked. "You and Nami don't even seem to get along that well. And I _know_ that she doesn't like Bonnie. But you both appear to be just as invested as Luffy and Sanji."

"Bonnie and I promised her sister that we'd look after her," Sabo answered. "And we're not going back on that. So no matter how insufferably annoying Nami can be at times… Bonnie and I will always have an active interest in her well being. Plus, if we find a doctor for Nami, I can make good on my promise to Miss Valentine as well."

Sabo looked back to see the blonde dutifully sweeping snow off of the deck in front of the galley.

"Her condition isn't as critical as Nami's," Sabo admitted, "But if we can find a doctor out here then we might as well see if there's anything they can do about her amnesia."

"Vivi, my Princess! You were right!" Sanji suddenly called down from the crow's nest. "LAND AHOY!"

Sabo pulled Bonnie Anne off of his back and unzipped her sleeve partially so he could stare through the rifle's scope.

"Do you see it?" Vivi questioned.

 **KER-CHOW!**

Sabo grinned, "Yup. There's an island dead ahead." The blonde pirate looked over at the Princess. "See? I told you Luffy was lucky."

Vivi nodded, "Although now I'm worried about the other kind of luck that you mentioned..."

* * *

Luffy was practically bouncing in his chair next to Nami's bed. "You hear that Nami? There's an island! We can get you better now! An island! Island!"

Zoro looked over at the Captain who was nearly vibrating with barely contained excitement, "Why don't you go check it out," he suggested.

 **ZZZzoooom!**

Less than three seconds later, Luffy was sitting on the figurehead staring at the white-covered island that was steadily growing bigger as they approached. Sabo, Usopp, Sanji, Ayako, Vivi and Miss Valentine were all gathered on the front deck behind him.

"WHOOOOOAA! IT REALLY IS AN ISLAND!" Luffy cheered, "LOOK! IT'S SO WHITE! IT'S A SNOW ISLAND!"

"Luffy, I'm warning you now," Sanji said, "We're not here for an adventure this time. We're just here to get Nami-swan to a doctor. Once she's treated we'll leave right away."

"Snow is so fun!" Luffy gushed.

"It's no use… he's in his own little world now…" Sanji grumbled.

"Hold on… is it gonna be safe?" Usopp wondered, "if there's snow there could be snow _monsters_! Oh no! Oh no! I think my Better-Not-Go-On-This-Island Disease is acting up!"

Miss Valentine's eyes widened warily, "That's not a real disease… is it?"

Sabo looked over at Usopp, "I thought you said you've never been sick?"

"I am now!" Usopp exclaimed. "Back off! I'm contagious!"

"Then maybe you should go to see the doctor too!" Ayako chirped. She and Usopp had gone crazy and painted her big black coat to look like a rainbow. The top half was red, orange and yellow and had been tied closed with a pink sash that matched her bucket hat which allowed the green, blue and purple bottom half to hang open so the tiny Artist didn't trip over the extra length that was trailing behind her. "They might have a cure!"

"What do you think Vivi?" Sabo inquired, "Those mountains have a very distinct drum-like shape. Could this be Drum Kingdom?"

"I've never actually been there before," Vivi admitted, "But based off of the fact that this is clearly a Winter Island and it has drum-shaped mountains… There's a strong chance that this is it."

"Hey Luffy, aren't you cold wearing that?" Usopp asked. Sabo, Usopp, Sanji, Ayako, Vivi and Miss Valentine were all dressed in their winter gear. Luffy was still in his usual vest and shorts.

"I'm surprised he hasn't frozen yet," Vivi said, "It's negative ten degrees Celsius. That's the type of weather where _bears_ start to hibernate."

"…" Luffy blinked and the cold suddenly registered, "BRRR! IT'S COLD!"

"COULD YOU _BE_ ANY SLOWER!?" Usopp, Sanji and Miss Valentine all berated him.

"Luffy, there's a red coat for you down in the men's quarters," Sabo told him, "Go put it on."

Luffy rushed to put his coat on while Zoro came out of the storage room and joined them on the deck. "The ostrich is watching Nami. So what's the plan?"

The Going Merry had reached the island and they were now sailing along a waterway inland.

"First we need to find a place to dock," Sabo reasoned, "Then we need to see if there are people here. Hopefully one of them can give us directions to a doctor."

"Right, then who's going to go and look for the doctor?" Zoro questioned.

"I'll go!" Luffy volunteered the second he came back with his coat on.

"Me too!" Sanji added.

"Count me and Miss Valentine in as well," Sabo said.

"Well count me _out_!" Usopp whimpered, "Good luck, my friends!"

"But Usopp… don't you want the doctor to cure your disease?" Ayako asked. "What if Nami needs you?"

Usopp faltered under the girl's expectant gaze. It was like Kaya and his pirate crew all over again. "Well… when you put it that way… I _suppose_ I could tag along… for Nami's sake, of course."

" **STOP RIGHT THERE, PIRATES!"**

Everyone looked up to see people gathered on both sides of the waterway. They were armed with guns and they did not seem pleased at the sight of the Going Merry's black flag.

"Hey look, there are people!" Luffy pointed out.

"But they don't look too friendly…" Usopp noted.

"…" Miss Valentine silently slipped behind Sanji. The cook was all too happy to stand protectively in front of the blonde.

A powerfully built man with a dark hair and a goatee who was dressed in a green tunic with armored arms stepped forward. "You will turn around immediately and leave this island at once!"

"Hostile natives, eh?" Sabo questioned. "I suppose I can't blame them for hating pirates. Everyone, stay back and try your best to look nonthreatening. I'll see if I can work my magic Quartermaster Sabo style." Sabo handed Bonnie Anne off to Usopp and held his hands up over his head as he climbed up onto the side railing. "My name is Sabo and we're the Straw Hat Pirates. We come in peace. We're only here to find a doctor for our sick crewmate."

"WE WON'T BELIEVE ANY OF YOUR LIES, PIRATE SCUM!" one of the guards shouted.

"YOU'RE NOT GONNA TRICK US!"

"YOU WON'T SET FOOT ON THIS ISLAND!"

"RAISE ANCHOR AND LEAVE NOW!"

"We would if we could, but we're desperate," Sabo replied. "Our sick crewmate is our Navigator. We've been sailing straight south for the last two days. It was sheer luck that we found your island at all. She's in dire, critical condition. She won't survive the journey to the next island. Just… hear me out. I have some valuable information that you'll really want to hear."

The green-clad leader of the guard narrowed his eyes, "What information?"

"This is Drum Kingdom, right?" Sabo questioned. "Does the name 'Wapol' ring any bells?"

 **CLICK-CLICK-CLICK-CLICK-CLICK!**

Every gun in the area was suddenly pointed at Sabo.

"Looks like it does…" Sabo observed.

"This kingdom no longer goes by that name," the leader insisted, "Not since our King abandoned us. What do you know about Wapol?"

"He attacked our ship yesterday," Sabo explained, "Allow me to come ashore and I'll tell you everything I know. I'll come alone and unarmed. All I ask in return is two minutes to plead my case."

"Dalton… do you trust this pirate?" one of the guards asked the leader.

"No," Dalton admitted, "But Wapol returning is the worst possible thing that could happen to this island. If these pirates know anything that will help us fight him off… they might be worth hearing out."

"Do we have a deal?" Sabo inquired.

"Yes, for now," Dalton confirmed, "You, and you alone, have permission to come ashore."

 **SKISH!**

Sabo leapt from the railing onto the bank of the snowy shore and made his way towards Dalton.

"He really is quite good at that," Vivi remarked.

"When we were kids Sabo could talk his way out of almost anything," Luffy recalled, "He's only gotten better since then."

"No one's better at negotiating then Sabro," Usopp boasted.

"When we first met… I might not have believed you," Vivi said, "The rifle pointed in my face was a major deterrent. But now I do."

"I'm glad he's here," Sanji admitted, "If we didn't have Sabo to talk down the gunmen one of us could've gotten shot."

"Yes, thankfully that didn't happen," Vivi said. She felt a phantom pain in her side for a split second. "Usopp, whatever you do… keep Bonnie pointed downward."

"As I mentioned a moment ago," Sabo addressed Dalton, "My name's Sabo and I'm the Quartermaster of the Straw Hat Pirates."

"I'm Dalton," Dalton introduced himself, "The acting Captain of this Island's Militia."

"Enough pleasantries!" a gunman interjected as he pointed his rifle at Sabo, "How do we know that this guy actually saw Wapol?"

"When he was on our ship… he ate a dagger," Sabo recounted, "Then his finger turned into the dagger he'd just eaten and he threatened to use it to cut my tongue out. He said his power came from the Munch Munch Fruit."

"That sounds like Wapol," Dalton said.

"I was trying to negotiate with him so he'd let us borrow one of his doctors for a bit," Sabo continued, "He said he had twenty of the best medical minds on his ship but that they were for his exclusive use."

"That sounds like him too," Dalton commented.

"He decided that I wasn't showing him the proper respect and ordered me to bow to him," Sabo stated, "He threatened to eat my ship if I didn't."

"Definitely Wapol," Dalton resolved. "How did you survive? Your ship appears to be unharmed."

"I shot him three times and knocked his fat ass off my ship," Sabo answered. "He flew clear over his own ship. Once he was gone, his men quickly ran off to retrieve him. You'd know better than I would… how good are those twenty doctors of his? Can they save him from three magnum rounds to the chest?"

"He's most likely still alive…" Dalton reasoned, "The Twenty MDs spent years advancing their skills to specifically cater to Wapol. What else can you tell us? This militia's main purpose is to fight off Wapol and his forces if he ever returns."

"His ship came out of the water," Sabo informed him.

"Out of the water?" Dalton repeated, "You mean he has a submarine?"

"I wouldn't go that far…" Sabo replied, "My crew did a good job of explaining it. The pirate ship is round and seals itself up in a metal dome. When it's sealed the ship can sink underwater and float there with only the crow's nest visible. There was an archer in a jester costume keeping watch when we encountered them. My crew says it looked like he was standing on the water."

"An archer… Chess," Dalton realized. "Wapol's Minister of Defense…"

"There was another man that stood out too," Sabo added, "He had a black afro and fuzzy boxing gloves. He swore that Wapol would have his revenge while they were sailing away."

"Kuromarimo," Dalton said, "The former Magistrate… Those two are Wapol's officers."

"Thirty soldiers boarded our ship," Sabo recalled, "Wapol himself said he had twenty-two more on his ship. That probably included his two officers. So that makes fifty soldiers, twenty doctors, two officers and one King pretending to be a pirate. I'm sorry… but if Wapol's the type to hold a grudge there's a chance that he could've followed us here. But now you're informed and he won't catch you off guard."

Dalton turned away from Sabo to confer with the guards closest to him, "We're going to need to double the number of guards posted out here for the next two days. And everyone is to be extra vigilant of _anything_ that enters the waterway."

"Right, Dalton," the guards agreed, "We'll spread the word."

Dalton turned back to Sabo, "You have my sincere thanks for the information."

"No problem," Sabo said, "Now about my sick friend…"

Dalton held up his hand, "Say no more. You helped us a great deal by warning us about Wapol. Tell your crew that they're all welcome on our island. I'll help you find the doctor to show my thanks."

"Really?" Sabo asked, "I would've settled for you just sending the doctor to our ship…"

"Unfortunately, the situation is a lot more complicated than that," Dalton informed her. "All of our doctors left the island with Wapol. There's only one left. But people here call her a witch."

"Is she a skilled doctor?" Sabo inquired.

"Skill-wise she's head and shoulders above all of Wapol's doctors," Dalton replied, "It's just her… peculiarities make her difficult to deal with."

"We can handle a quirky witch," Sabo assured him, "And we're desperate so we're not exactly in a position to complain."

"Very well," Dalton resolved, "Gather your friends and I'll take you into the village."

* * *

"Are you sure about these pirates, Dalton?" one of the gunmen asked the Captain of the Militia.

"I don't think they mean us any harm," Dalton replied, "What we need now more than anything is to ensure that everyone available is on guard duty. Wapol is the one we have to worry about."

"Right, we'll keep our eyes peeled for anything," the gunman assured him.

Dalton led a group consisting of Luffy, Sabo, Usopp Sanji, Vivi and Miss Valentine away from the shore. Sanji had Nami on his back. The sick Navigator had been bundled up in the warm uniform coat that Sabo had gotten from one of Wapol's men. The Militia Captain decided to play tour guide for the visitors.

"This country was once known as Drum Kingdom," Dalton said, "But now it has no name. We decided to abandon the name Drum Kingdom when our King abandoned us."

"Abandoned?" Vivi repeated.

"A year ago our country was attacked by pirates," Dalton recounted, "There were only five of them but they were immensely powerful. The Captain called himself 'Blackbeard'. Although… he didn't have much of a beard…" Everyone blinked at the odd bit of information. "Wapol took one look at them and fled the kingdom with his men like rats from a sinking ship. He abandoned us to our fate."

"AND HE CALLS HIMSELF A KING!?" Vivi shrieked in outrage.

"He's not even fit to call himself _Captain_ ," Sabo growled. "Now _there's_ a royal the world would be better off without."

"If anyone deserves that… it's him," Vivi replied. "Those are actions that give royalty a bad name."

Dalton looked back at the blue haired girl and the blonde pirate that had somehow wound up walking next to her. "Have I seen you somewhere…"

"WAAAAH! A BEEAAAR!" Usopp suddenly screamed. "EVERYONE PLAY DEAD!"

Everyone looked ahead to see a bear walking their way. The bear stood on two legs and walked with a walking stick.

"That's just a Hiking Bear," Dalton informed them, "They pose no harm unless you forget to bow. It's a mutual show of respect and a mountaineer tradition."

Everyone bowed to the Hiking Bear and the Hiking Bear bowed back as he continued along his way. The group kept going but Miss Valentine looked at Usopp who was still playing dead.

"Hey Usopp, you'd better come along," Miss Valentine warned him with a merry giggle, "Kyahaha! If there's a snow monster here it'll be more likely to get you when you're alone!"

"GAH! WAIT FOR ME!" Usopp shrieked as he sprang to his feet. "WAIT FOR CAPTAIN USOPP!"

"Anyway," Dalton continued, "Our country has only just started to recover from the damage that Blackbeard and his crew inflicted. It seems like we're better off without our King. We've managed to rebuild and we're even going to be installing a new government soon. But our country is still in a fragile state and that's why what we fear more than anything right now is Wapol's return."

* * *

Back on the Going Merry, Zoro, Ayako and Carue had been left behind to guard the ship.

"Alright, good as new," Zoro announced as he removed the bandages on his ankles and surveyed the poorly stitched wounds.

Ayako paled at the sight of the swordsman's barely healed injuries. "Um… are you sure? Most people would go to a doctor for wounds like that. It's only been two days!"

"I guess I'm not most people," Zoro replied. "These last two days have been really boring. I'm tired of taking it easy and only lifting weights. Now I can really cut loose and focus on my training."

"But… but… you nearly cut your legs off!" Ayako reminded him while Carue sputtered next to her.

"I think I'll start with a quick swim," Zoro decided as he took off his winter coat, "The cold will help me clear my mind and meditate."

"But that water's gotta be freezing!" Ayako protested. "Look! Even Carue thinks this is a bad idea! He's a duck! Ducks know water!"

" **QUACK!"** Carue objected and shivered at the thought of the freezing water.

"You two guard the ship," Zoro instructed as he took off his sash and swords, "And my swords. And the candle creep. Make sure everything is in one piece when I get back. Otherwise you'll have to fix it."

The Artist and the duck watched in horror as the Boatswain dove off the side of the Going Merry into the ice cold water below.

 **Splash!**

Ayako and Carue ran to the side and stared down at the water until the ripples eventually stopped. "Zoro! Are you still alive?"

"…" They received no response.

"Well _I'm_ certainly not diving in after him," Ayako told her companion.

" **Quaa…"** Carue bowed his head and took a couple steps back.

Ayako ran in front of him. "Wait! That wasn't an invitation for _you_ to jump in either!" she cut him off. "Look… he survived in that raging fire on Little Garden… Maybe he'll survive the freezing water too… Besides, just because he's some kind of monster that doesn't feel temperatures doesn't mean we are. If either of us dove in there we'd be frozen solid in under a minute. And then _we'd_ need the doctor."

Ayako and Carue both shivered.

"Just thinking about it makes me cold…" Ayako said. "Sanji said he left some tea… Wanna try some while we wait for him to come back?"

" **Quack!"** Carue agreed. The Artist and the duck dashed up to the galley to have a tea party.

* * *

"Welcome to Big Horn," Dalton told his guests as they walked into a small town. "You can bring your friend to my house while I figure out a way to get in contact with the doctor."

"Well, we're smack dab in the middle of snow country…" Usopp remarked as he eyed the snowy town.

"Look at all the funny animals!" Luffy called out as he pointed to a furry hippo.

"We're here Nami," Sanji told the girl on his back, "We made it to the town."

"You're certainly popular…" Miss Valentine noted as she watched almost everyone wave to Dalton as he went passed.

"LUFFY! LOOK! IT'S ANOTHER HIKING BEAR!" Luffy and Usopp quickly bowed.

Everyone sweat-dropped when they saw the 'bear' was actually just a heavyset woman in a fur coat.

"Dalton, you're back," the bear-woman greeted the Captain of the Militia. "I heard there was trouble with some pirates. Is everything okay?"

"Yes, everything's fine," Dalton reassured her, "These are the pirates. My instincts tell me that they mean us no harm."

"Very well," the bear-woman replied, "Good luck in the election. Everyone I've talked to says they'll be voting for you."

"Oh no, that's preposterous," Dalton insisted, "I bare too many sins."

"Kyahahaha…" Miss Valentine giggled to Usopp and Luffy, "He said 'bare'… to the bear! Kyahahaha!"

"Shishishishi!" Luffy and Usopp laughed along with her. "Hahahahaha!"

"What's this about an election?" Sabo inquired once the bear-woman had moved on.

"Our people will be selecting a new ruler in two days' time," Dalton explained.

Sabo turned and smirked at Vivi, "Hear that? They'll be _choosing_ their new leader. And they're voting for Dalton because they already know and trust him from his position of acting Captain of the Militia. They know that, unlike Wapol, he has the country's best interests at heart instead of his own."

"Yes… but how do you think _any_ government is started?" Vivi countered, "Mr. Dalton, if you don't mind me asking… Say you do win the election… what do you plan to do after your reign? Do you have a son that will inherit the position?"

"I have no wife and no son," Dalton told her. "If I'm elected I'll serve as King for as long as my people will have me. Should they decide that they want someone else to lead them… I will gladly step aside."

"Oh…" Vivi said in surprise.

"I know that the idea seems foreign," Dalton admitted to the girl who he was now about eighty percent certain that he'd seen before at a Reverie. "But Wapol inheriting the throne was where our country's problems started. His father was a good man… one that I faithfully served as Captain of the Royal Guard. But Wapol was spoiled from birth. He thought the kingdom should be handed to him on a platter."

"See?" Sabo said, "A spoiled Prince becomes a horrible King…"

Dalton hung his head, "Yes… a horrible King. And to my everlasting shame… I committed many atrocities while serving that horrible King… including the Great Doctor Purge. Wapol rounded up twenty skilled doctors and had all the others exiled. Anyone that got sick or injured was forced to go to Wapol and grovel before him. There were only two doctors that remained outside of Wapol's control. The first sacrificed himself for the sake of the kingdom. It was because of his noble heart that I finally decided to rebel against my King… not that it did any good."

"…" Vivi stared at Dalton in horror. "How could a King… how could _anyone_ be so cruel?" The Princess' kind heart broke from hearing of Wapol's tyranny and she burst into tears. "I… I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…"

Sabo, of all people, pulled the crying Princess into a hug. "That's the kind of evil that exists in this world. That's the kind of tyrannical oppression that I set sail to fight." Sabo patted the sobbing girl on the back consolingly then leaned in and whispered so that only she could hear him, "And when I'm done… it's my sincerest hope that the ones who are left will be just half as kind, half as caring and half as _good_ as you." Vivi's sobs trailed off. "If all the world's rulers were half as good as you've shown yourself to be… the world would be a much better place. _That_ … is my dream."

"HEY! LOOK! I MADE A SNOWMAN!" Everyone turned to see that Luffy had recreated his sloppy barrel-headed snowman from when they'd left the Twin Capes. Only this one was five-times larger.

Everyone was unimpressed but Luffy lack of artistic talent.

"That… is the worst snowman… I have _ever_ seen…" Miss Valentine dead-panned.

Usopp looked over at the amnesic blonde, "But you can't remember all the snowmen you've ever seen."

"I know," Miss Valentine admitted, "But I'm willing to bet that even if I could that'd _still_ be the worst snowman I've ever seen."

"You mean you don't like it?" Luffy asked.

"Luffy, this is snow country…" the blonde reminded him. "They probably have snowman building contests here… yours would be in dead last."

Luffy crossed his arms and pouted. "This is why we recruited Ayako…" He wasn't actually upset because he saw smiles on his friends' faces.

" _I'll_ show you how to make a proper snowman," Usopp offered, "You'll see why good old Captain Usopp was a close second choice for Artist."

"You okay?" Sabo asked Vivi when he finally released her.

"Yes… thank you…" the Princess replied as she wiped her eyes.

"…" Dalton silently watched as the increasingly familiar blue haired girl was comforted by her friend.

"Hey Nami-swan," Sanji once again addressed the sick girl on his back, "There's more good news. It looks like those two are finally getting along."

 **CLICK!**

Vivi jumped back and blushed. Apparently Bonnie Anne thought that Vivi and Sabo were getting along a little _too well_ and for a little _too long_.

"Anyway…" Dalton said, "It's because of my actions as Wapol's Captain of the Royal Guard that I believe I'm not worthy of being elected King. But thankfully there's one doctor who not only survived the Great Doctor Purge but is still here practicing medicine today. As I said earlier, everyone here calls her a witch."

"Not to be a bother," Sanji spoke up, "But is there a reason we stopped here? I want to get Nami-swan out of the cold."

"Oh, of course," Dalton agreed a he turned and pulled open a nearby door. "This is my house. Put her in the bed and I'll get a fire going."

A moment later, Nami had been settled in the bed and Vivi had reclaimed her spot at the sick Navigator's side. Sabo and Sanji were hovering nearby and Dalton had finished making the fire and removed his hood. Luffy, Usopp and Miss Valentine were still outside in the snow.

"Do you mind if I ask you something," Dalton addressed Vivi, "Have I seen you somewhere before?"

"Oh… um… no," the undercover Princess replied, "I guess I just have one of those faces…"

"Her temperature's up to forty two degrees," Sabo reported as he quickly changed the subject.

"It's been rising steadily for the last two days," Sanji added.

"That _is_ bad," Dalton realized. "If it keeps going up like that… she could die."

"And the worst part is that we have no idea what's caused her illness," Vivi confessed. "What can you tell us about this witch?"

"Look out the window and you should be able to see the mountains," Dalton instructed. "Those mountains are called the Drum Rockies. If you look hard enough you should be able to see a castle on top of the tallest mountain."

Sanji looked out the window and was greeted by the sight of a massive, expertly crafted, snow dinosaur.

"PRESENTING… SNOW-ZILLA!" Usopp boasted.

"WHOA! THAT'S SO COOL!" Luffy gushed.

"Kyahahaha!" Miss Valentine laughed lightly. The blonde currently weighed only five kilograms and was sitting comfortably on the snow dinosaur's head. "Now _this_ is a snowman!"

"QUIT FOOLING AROUND AND GET IN HERE!" Sanji yelled at them.

Luffy, Usopp and Miss Valentine eventually came back in.

"That castle used to be Wapol's," Dalton continued, "But now it has no King. When Wapol abandoned the kingdom Dr. Kureha claimed it as her own."

"How high is that mountain?" Sabo questioned.

"Roughly five thousand meters," Dalton answered.

"Meters…" Sabo repeated, "I've just realized that we switched over to the metric system at some point after reaching the Grand Line." Sabo looked over at Miss Valentine, "I blame you, Miss Kilo Kilo."

Miss Valentine shrugged, "Sorry… I can convert it if you'd like. You're looking at three point one miles straight up."

"Well that's not very convenient," Sanji growled, "Can't you call her down? This is an emergency!"

"I'd like to but we have no way to contact her," Dalton explained, "Her skill is undeniable. She comes down from the mountain whenever she feels like it, treats whoever's sick and then takes whatever she wants from their houses as payment for her services. She's been practicing medicine for a long time. She's nearly one hundred forty."

"One hundred forty?" Sanji repeated. "And she's still alive?"

"She sounds like a nasty old hag," Usopp remarked.

"She sounds like a pirate!" Luffy exclaimed.

"How does this old woman get down from the mountain?" Vivi inquired.

"There are rumors…" Dalton said, "That on clear, moonlit nights she can be seen flying down from the mountain on her sleigh."

"A flying sleigh?" Miss Valentine repeated. "So she _is_ a witch!"

"And then there are the creatures that she travels with," Dalton continued, "Her flying sleigh is pulled by a reindeer… her castle is guarded by a yeti… and I've even heard rumors that she has a pet tanuki."

"NOOO!" Usopp wailed. "A BEWITCHED FLYING REINDEER! A YETI! A TANU… wait what's a tanuki?"

"A raccoon-dog… I think," Sanji answered.

"Compared to the other ones, that doesn't sound so scary…" Usopp admitted.

"It sounds _adorable_!" Miss Valentine gushed.

"Let's see… what else is there…" Dalton mused, "Oh, she likes pickled plums."

Everyone blinked at the seemingly unnecessary information.

"I'll be back!" Sabo called out as he headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" Luffy asked.

"To buy pickled plums," Sabo answered. "I'm not negotiating with a witchdoctor without something I can use to barter. Can you imagine if she took all our treasure as payment? That would _kill_ Nami."

"He has a point," Usopp admitted.

"There's a merchant three houses down that sells them," Dalton informed him. "His name is Pabu and he likes peppermint sticks."

Sabo blinked, "Peppermint sticks… right… I'll be back." He slipped out the door and was gone.

"So what are we supposed to do?" Sanji wondered. "The crazy old crone is the only doctor on the island and she lives on top of a mountain."

Luffy went over to Nami and shook her awake, "Hey Nami, wake up!"

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING TO HER!?" Usopp, Sanji and Vivi all berated him.

"Mmm…" Nami mumbled as she opened her eyes.

"The only doctor here lives in a castle on top of a mountain," Luffy stated, "So we're gonna climb it."

"ARE YOU CRAZY?" Sanji shouted, "YOU CAN'T PUT HER THROUGH THAT!"

"You'll make her condition worse!" Vivi insisted.

"She'll be fine," Luffy said, "I'll carry her on my back. We've gotta get her to the doctor as quick as possible, don't we?"

"You can't climb that mountain!" Vivi objected, "Look at how high it is! It goes straight up!"

"I can climb it," Luffy reassured her.

"Okay… maybe _you can_ but think about what a climb like that would do to Nami!" Usopp argued.

"Well… if she falls there's a nice cushy blanket of snow below," Luffy pointed out.

"A NORMAL PERSON WOULD DIE _INSTANTLY_ IF THEY FELL FROM THE MOUNTAIN!" Vivi yelled.

"And you're not dealing with a normal healthy person either!" Sanji added, "Nami-swan's temperature is six degrees above normal! Do you understand how serious her situation is?"

Nami laid still and listened to the argument going on around her, _"I have to get well quickly…"_ Nami slid her hand out from under the blankets and forced a strained smile, "I'll leave it to you, Luffy."

"Atta girl, Nami!" Luffy encouraged her as he gave her a high fived. "I'll take care of everything!"

"Oh great," Usopp groaned, "Now our Navigator's gone crazy too…"

"Nami, do you understand how sick you are?" Vivi asked desperately.

"Just gimme some meat and I'll be ready to go," Luffy insisted.

" **I'm back with the pickled plums!"** Sabo had a sack on his back along with his rifle.

"Sabo!" Vivi exclaimed, "Please, reason with your brother! He's talking about climbing the mountain! And Nami's agreed to it."

"Well obviously," Sabo said, "If we have no way of getting the doctor to come down we'll have to go up. I'm planning on going along too as an extra precaution."

Usopp looked over at Vivi, "Did you really expect him to make the situation _less_ crazy?"

"I'll admit now that I didn't exactly think that though…" Vivi confessed.

"If their minds are all set… I guess there's only one thing to do..." Sanji resolved. "I'm coming too."

"Um… can I tag along?" Everyone looked back at Miss Valentine.

"You don't have to," Sabo reassured her, "Your condition isn't critical. You can wait. Nami can't. When we get to the castle we can send the doctor down to get you."

"But you're all going anyway," Miss Valentine pointed out. "I'll admit that I'm not much of a climber… but if climbing that mountain is what gets me my memories back… I'll do it." The blonde looked over at Vivi. "Can I borrow your shoes? They're not my size but I definitely can't climb a mountain in heels."

And so it was decided. Luffy would be carrying Nami. Sabo and Sanji would be coming along to support him. And Miss Valentine had gotten Vivi's white boots and would be coming along so she could see the doctor herself. Usopp and Vivi would be staying behind so they wouldn't slow the party down.

"If you're serious about climbing the mountain you should at least climb up from the other side," Dalton warned them, "The path to the mountain from this village is filled with lapins. They're violent carnivorous rabbits! Encountering a pack of them means almost certain death!"

Sabo waved off Dalton's concerns, "Yes, yes, I'm sure they're the most foul, cruel, bad-tempered rodents we've ever set eyes upon with vicious streaks a mile wide."

"We can handle rabbits," Sanji said, "If the bleeders attack us we'll have rabbit stew coming right up."

"LET'S GO!" Luffy shouted as he took off running, "BEFORE NAMI DIES!"

"Don't say that, you idiot!" Sanji scolded him.

"Looks like we've found a way to have an adventure anyway," Sabo remarked.

"Memories… here I come…" Miss Valentine resolved.

"I hope they'll be alright…" Dalton said as the group departed.

"Those guys can handle anything," Usopp replied.

"The problem is if Nami can hold out long enough to get there," Vivi reasoned.

They stood out in the snow until the footprints of their friends were filled in. "Would you like to wait inside?" Dalton offered. "It's cold out."

"It's fine," Vivi assured him, "I want to stay out here."

"Me too," Usopp agreed.

Dalton smiled. Even though the two had stayed behind it was clear they were with their friends in spirit.

"Then I'll join you," Dalton decided as he sat down in the snow outside his house. He looked over at the blue haired girl. "I'm sorry you had to see this country in such a state. I wish we had more doctors. But either way, it's still good to see you again… Princess."

Vivi went stiff, "I… I think you have me confused with someone else…"

"Yeah! She's a member of our crew!" Usopp quickly jumped to her defense.

"Yes, not a Princess," Vivi quickly lied, "Just a pirate. Arrr…"

Usopp looked at her skeptically, "You do realize that pirates don't actually say 'arr' anymore, right?"

Dalton wasn't fooled. "I remember you from that Reverie six years ago," he said, "Wapol was frustrated over an argument he had with your father… and he took his anger out on you. My King was behaving like a petulant child… while you… a girl who couldn't have been older than ten at the time… acted with more maturity than my sorry excuse for a King ever did. You realized that in a meeting full of world leaders that words said out of anger could cause a war. You apologized while Wapol was the one at fault. I admired your spirit even back then. That was the moment when my eyes were finally opened to my King's behavior. Unfortunately I didn't do anything about it until Dr. Hiriluk's sacrifice."

"Mr. Dalton… Please… I… I'm trying to save my kingdom," Vivi stammered nervously. She'd been recognized. Her cover was blown. "My enemies think I'm dead. I'd like to keep it that way."

Dalton nodded, "Your secret's safe with me. I'm glad to see that you're safe and traveling with friends."

Vivi let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you…"

"For all the talk of elections… what this country needs more than anything now is a Princess like you," Dalton confessed. "I'm a soldier. I've been one all my life. I don't have the first clue how to be a King. I don't know to conduct myself in a meeting of world leaders… or how to negotiate a trade deal… or how to resolve disputes in a level-headed diplomatic manner. You've been taught how to do these things since you were a child. My greatest fear now… is that I'm elected and I end up letting my country down."

"I think the fact that you're so worried about failing your people is exactly why you'll be a great King," Vivi replied. "You have your country's best interests at heart. That's what counts."

"You've got my vote," Usopp chimed in.

Dalton smiled, he was moved by her vote of confidence. "Thank you."

* * *

"Kyahahahaha! You know, this isn't so bad," Miss Valentine laughed as she ran _on top_ of the snow while Luffy, Sabo and Sanji all trudged through it.

"But how's the wind treating you?" Sabo asked. "It's starting to pick up."

"I'm managing," the blonde woman replied. "But if you guys want to move closer together to block more of it… I wouldn't complain."

"Luffy, are you seriously still wearing sandals?" Sanji questioned as he glanced down at the Captain's feet mostly bare feet. "Just looking at your feet is making me cold."

"I don't wear shoes or socks, that my police," Luffy stated.

"That's… 'policy'," Sanji corrected him.

" **GRAAAH!"**

 **SWISH!**

Everyone blinked as a white blur whizzed passed them.

"What was that?" Miss Valentine wondered.

"Probably one of those Lapins," Sabo reasoned. "It's just a bunny… Ignore it…"

But while they ignored the attacking bunny, the bunny didn't seem like it wanted to ignore them.

" **GRAAAAH!"**

 **WHAP!**

"Kyahaha! Gotcha!"

The three pirates looked back in surprise to see that Miss Valentine had managed to catch the rabbit. The rabbit actually looked more surprised that anyone. But then growled and bared its sharp teeth at the blonde woman.

"OH MY GOD!" Miss Valentine squealed as she hugged the Lapin to her chest, "YOU ARE THE CUTEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN!"

"URK!" the Lapin groaned as the blonde squeezed it. The other similarly sized Lapins that had been lurking nearby saw their companion being 'tortured' by the evil yellow human and unanimously decided to give the intruders a wide berth.

"Well, I guess that's one problem solved," Sabo reasoned.

"Be careful with that thing, Miss Valentine," Sanji warned the blonde woman, "You have no idea where it's been."

"It's been right here," Miss Valentine pointed out.

Luffy stopped in his tracks and stared ahead of them, "You might want to put that guy down…"

"Aw, I'll put him down when I'm done loving him!" Miss Valentine cooed. The blonde completely ignored the ornery rabbit's sharp fangs and futile struggles to get free as she continued to cuddle it.

" **GGGGGGRRRRRR…"**

Everyone froze at the much louder growl and looked ahead in the same direction as Luffy.

Standing ahead of them was a herd of no less than twenty massive gorilla-sized rabbits.

"What're those things?" Sanji wondered.

"They're big and white," Luffy noted, "Maybe they're Polar Bears…"

"I'm thinking that maybe _these_ are the Lapins that Dalton tried to warn us about…" Sabo reasoned,

"Aww… so that means this adorable little guy is a baby," Miss Valentine cooed. "That just makes him even cuter!"

"Yeah… you should probably give that back," Sabo suggested.

"But I'm still not done loving him yet!" Miss Valentine protested as she gave the baby Lapin a squeeze.

"My valentine, those rabbits look angry enough as it is," Sanji pointed out. "I don't think you'll be helping matters by holding one of their young hostage."

"Okay… okay…" Miss Valentine conceded. She put the pint-sized Lapin down and it immediately ran over to one of the biggest Lapin and climbed on its back.

" **GGGRRRAH!"** The Lapins still weren't appeased.

"They still don't look very happy…" Miss Valentine observed as she slid fully behind Sanji.

"Luffy, don't even think about fighting them," Sanji warned the Captain. "Nami-swan will feel every move you make. Your job is to protect her at all costs."

"I'd like to avoid fighting entirely," Sabo stated. He raised Bonnie Anne and opened fire.

 **KER-CHOW!**

The round left a large hole in the snow in front of the Lapins.

"We're not here to fight!" Sabo addressed the Lapins. "Stay back and no one gets hurt."

The great beasts eyed Sabo's smoking rifle and collectively decided to retreat when faced with the high powered weapon.

"They're running away?" Luffy questioned as he stared after the retreating rabbits.

"Well that's good news," Sanji sighed in relief.

"Hey Luffy…" Sabo called out. "What do you call it when a bunch of rabbits step backwards?"

"I don't know," Luffy replied. "What?"

Sabo smirked, "A receding hare line!"

"SHISHISHISHI!" Luffy and Miss Valentine laughed at Sabo's attempt at humor. "Kyahahahaha!"

But then Luffy trailed off, "Wait… I don't know what that is…"

"Kyahaha!" Miss Valentine shook her head at Luffy's confusion, "Then why are you laughing?"

"Because you're supposed to laugh at jokes!" Luffy replied, "Shishishi!"

"Ugh," Sanji rolled his eyes and groaned, "Do you really think this is the best time to tell bad jokes?"

Sabo shrugged, "I don't know any other rabbit jokes. And this was the only time that seemed appropriate for it. Give me some credit, at least Bonnie and I managed to chase them off. How hard do you think this climb would've been if they attacked us?"

"Good point," Sanji admitted, "But it still wasn't funny."

* * *

"CAPTAIN WAPOL! I'VE SPOTTED SOMETHING!" Chess called down from his lookout platform as the Bliking sailed along the open water.

"What's that? Did you spot those damn Straw Hats?" Wapol growled. He had a metal plate nailed into his chest through his clothes. "That smug Top Hat bastard will pay for what he did to me!"

"No sir!" Chess said, "It's not them… it's Drum Kingdom! It's our home! We've finally found it!"

A smile spread across Wapol's face. "Drum Kingdom… so we're finally home!"

* * *

"Dalton! I just heard that you were looking for the doctor!"

Dalton, Usopp and Vivi turned to see that the bear-woman had returned.

"Good news, she's just come down to the neighboring village."

"WHAT!?" the three shouted in alarm.

A moment later, Dalton, Usopp and Vivi were racing along a snowy trail towards the next village in a ram-pulled sleigh.

"I'm sorry…" Dalton apologized, "I heard that the witch had come down just yesterday. I didn't think she'd come back down again so soon. This is my fault."

"Don't worry, we don't blame you," Usopp reassured him. "The problem now is how freakishly strong my crewmates are. Those guys are probably halfway to her castle already. There's no way we could ever catch up to them. Now our best bet is to find the witch in that Cocoa Weed place and tell her to hurry back to her castle to meet the others."

"Forgive me…" Dalton continued to blame himself, "It's because of me this country has no doctors…"

"That is _not_ your fault, Mr. Dalton!" Vivi insisted, "But let's hurry!"

* * *

"IT'S WAPOL!" someone shouted back at the shore. "OPEN FIRE!"

The militia gunmen hadn't been fooled by Wapol's submerged pirate ship and opened fire the second it began to emerge from the water.

 **BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG!**

Over on the Going Merry, Ayako and Carue poked their heads out of the galley, "Did they say Wapol? Oh no… if he finds us here he'll eat our ship! Whatdowedo? Whatdowedo!?"

" **Quaack!"** the shivering duck suggested.

"We can't run away," Ayako insisted. At least that's what she thought the duck had suggested. "Zoro told us to guard the ship. We need to make sure those guys don't destroy it."

" **Quack…"** Carue warily pointed out.

"No, I don't plan to fight them!" Ayako said. She didn't actually speak duck. But having Carue on the ship with her meant she wasn't just talking to herself. "There are fifty of those gunmen!"

" **Quack?"**

"I don't know! Stop hassling me!" The Artist started pacing while prodding the side of her head. "Think… think… think…"

" **Quack… quack… quack…"** Carue echoed as he followed the young Artist in her pacing.

"What would Mr. 3 do?" Ayako asked herself. "He'd probably hide and attack them from behind."

" **QUACK!"** Carue turned to run off.

"We can't just hide!" Ayako told him, "If those guys search the ship they could find us… we need to make sure they don't…"

" **Quack…"** Carue said as he pointed his wing at Ayako's paint pallet.

"Well… I don't actually have a Colors Trap for that," the Artist admitted. "Buuut… I could probably make one… let's see… Colors Trap Bullfight Red is a target… it draws people's attention to it… so what I need now is the opposite of that… something to make people ignore stuff. People ignore stuff that's boring… What's the most boring color I can think of?" Ayako stared at the wooden deck at her feet then the Artist's eyes lit up with sudden inspiration. "BROWN! Boring Brown! Okay, I've got it!"

" **Quack?"** Carue asked.

"Quick, grab Zoro's swords," Ayako instructed. "I'll take care of the rest."

" **Quack!"** the duck saluted and darted off to collect Zoro's swords.

Ayako pulled out her paints. "Let's see… I can make brown by combining a primary color with its complimentary color… Since I want this to be the opposite of red I'll use that and green…" The Artist quickly mixed together her blue and yellow paint to make green then started adding red into the mix until she had a suitable brown color. "Alright… this'll do… Let's try it! **Colors Trap… Boring Brown!** "

 **SWISH!**

Ayako slashed her paintbrush and a brown symbol was splattered on the galley door. "Hey Carue! Wanna grab the tea too?"

" **Quack!"** the duck agreed as he came running back up the stairs with Zoro's swords grasped in his beak. But he stopped in front of the painted galley door and stared at it in confusion. **"Quack?"**

"Yay! It works!" Ayako cheered. She darted down the stairs and quickly painted her new Colors Trap on the storage room door, the anchor room door and also the trap door down into the men's quarters. "Now that we know the ship is gonna be safe… we can get out of here."

" **Qmmffh?"** Carue mumbled around the three swords in his mouth.

"I know I said we couldn't leave the ship," Ayako admitted as she took Zoro's swords from Carue and stuck them in her blue backpack, "But that was before I had a way to keep it safe. They might see our ship but they won't find anything on it because of the paint. That means we can make ourselves useful and go warn somebody about the attack."

 **BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG!**

The battle off the side of the Going Merry had picked up. Wapol's crew had lost their element of surprise. But the Bliking was still sealed up like a dome and Wapol's soldiers were returning fire from inside the crowned hippo figurehead's mouth.

"Um… although we might want to be careful about running through that battle…" Ayako reasoned. "I've got an idea…" The Artist turned and slashed her brown-coated paintbrush at Zoro's abandoned coat. Ayako picked up the coat and draped it over Carue's back. "There, not only do you have an extra layer to keep you warm in the snow but now anyone that notices you will ignore you."

" **Quack?"**

"I can still see you because I'm immune to my paints," Ayako told the duck as she slipped underneath the coat and climbed on Carue's back. "Can you still see me?"

" **Quack!"** Carue answered with an affirmative nod.

"Great, let's get out of here!" Ayako resolved.

" **QUACK!"** Carue crowed as he jumped from the Going Merry onto the shore and dashed away from the battle.

"Do you think you can find the others?" Ayako inquired. "Or at least Vivi?"

" **Quack!"** Carue confirmed and fired off a salute. He was Vivi's duck. Instead of pointing south, his bird senses gave him an internal compass that always pointed to his Princess.

"You know… this being crazy thing isn't so bad," Ayako reasoned. "I don't feel awkward having conversations with a duck and I've come up with two new Colors Traps in less than three days."

 **BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG!**

The battle raged on while the Artist raced away on the duck.

"King Wapol!" Chess called out as he lowered the binoculars he'd been staring through. "I spotted the Straw Hat's ship!"

"You did!?" Wapol exclaimed. "WHAT'RE THOSE BASTARDS DOING IN MY KINGDOM? I BET THEY'RE THE ONES RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS RUDE RECEPTION! THAT'S TWICE THAT TOP HAT HAS DEFIED ME!"

"There was something else I wanted to tell you too…" Chess said. He'd seen a girl and a duck run off from the caravel. But they didn't seem important. "But it doesn't matter anymore."

"King Wapol!" Kuromarimo called out, "Our men can't get off the ship!"

"Damn those Straw Hats!" Wapol growled. "This is all their fault! Get me some cannons! I'll force that riffraff to make way for their King!"

"Yes sir!" Chess and Kuromarimo chorused.

* * *

"WHAAT!?"

Usopp, Vivi and Dalton had finally made it to Cocoa Weed but the doctor was nowhere to be found.

"You mean we missed her?" Usopp complained inside a store called 'Stool's'.

"She treated me a little while ago," a bandaged boy sitting up in a bed informed them.

"Are you looking for the doctor, Dalton?" the boy's father inquired.

"Yes, it's an emergency," Dalton said, "Do you have any idea where she went?"

"I think I heard someone say she headed for Gyasta," a man spoke up.

"Gyasta?" Dalton questioned, "Are you sure?" The man nodded.

"Where's that?" Usopp asked.

"It's a village on the shore of a lake further north," Dalton explained. "They like ice skating there."

Usopp blinked and repeated the unnecessary information. "Ice skating?"

"We don't have time to sit around and wait," Vivi reminded them, "We have to go there immediately!"

" **VIVI!"** Ayako suddenly burst in through the door on Carue's back. But no one noticed them until she threw off Zoro's brown-painted coat. "VIVI! USOPP!"

"WHOA!" Usopp shrieked as he visibly jumped at seeing the Artist and her web-footed steed appear out of seemingly nowhere, "Where'd you come from?"

"I came from the ship!" Ayako exclaimed. "Wapol's here! The militia's trying to fight him off!"

Dalton went stiff. "I'm sorry my friends. I have to go." The militia leader bolted out the door, jumped on a horse and raced off towards the waterway.

" _It's time to settle this once and for all,"_ Dalton resolved. _"I'm not doing this for justice or any such noble intentions. Wapol, you and I are guilty of the same crimes! I'm coming for you!"_

Dalton launched himself off of his horse and landed on all fours. His feet and hands were now hooves, he'd grown dark fur all over his body and there were two impressive horns growing out of his head.

Dalton had just transformed into a bison.

His speed was now even greater than his horse's. The captain of the militia raced off to meet his enemy.

* * *

Back in Cocoa Weed, everyone was frantic.

"WAPOL'S HERE!"

"EVERYONE WHO'S ABLE GRAB A WEAPON!"

"WE'VE GOT TO BACK UP DALTON!"

"WE HAVE TO DEFEND OUR KINGDOM!"

Usopp, Ayako, Vivi and Carue watched as a crowd of men rushed off after Dalton.

"Should we…" Ayako started to ask.

"As much as I'd like to help Mr. Dalton… we need to focus on finding the doctor," Vivi reasoned.

"Right!" Usopp happily agreed, "Let's find the doctor… and stay away from the battle with the soldiers and the guy who could literally _eat us_!"

Vivi got directions and they raced off in their ram-pulled sleigh.

"Keep your eyes peeled!" Vivi instructed. She was studying a map while Usopp manned the rams' reins. "There should be a sign for Gyasta up ahead somewhere."

"There's a sign over there," Ayako pointed out from where she was seated behind them with Carue. "But it's covered in snow."

"Vivi, hold the reins," Usopp instructed as pulled out his slingshot. The marksman spotted the sign that the Artist had pointed out and fired at the top of it.

 **CHOO!**

The snow dropped off the sign and revealed that it said 'Gyasta' and had an arrow pointing to the left.

"Good eye, Artist!" Usopp praised Ayako. "We almost missed it!"

Vivi adjusted the reins and they veered to the left and continued on the correct route to Gyasta.

"Can you imagine what would've happened if we'd gone the wrong way?" Vivi asked. "We would have missed her entirely!"

* * *

Dalton the bison slowed to a stop when he finally reached the shore. But the battle was over. The smell of gun smoke lingered in the air. Men were pinned to the ground with arrows. And large chunks of trees had been toppled by what appeared to be cannon fire.

The battered and bloody civilian militia members were strewn out all over the place.

"D-Dalton…" a man called out. "Y-you're here…"

Dalton stood up on his hind legs and transformed back into himself in one fluid motion then rushed over to the wounded man. "What happened?"

"We held him off as long as we could…" the man gasped, "Uugh… But then Ch-Chess and K-Kuromarimo got involved and… and then W-Wapol starting using his p-powers. They… were too much for us…"

"You fought well," Dalton reassured him, "I'll handle everything from here. Where did Wapol go?"

"They're… heading for B-Big Horn…" the man wheezed. "He's following… the pirates."

Dalton glanced back over his shoulder and saw that the abandoned Going Merry had remained completely unharmed during the battle. Wapol's ship Blinking on the other hand was riddled with bullet holes from the militia's attempts to fight off Wapol's forces.

"Rest now," Dalton instructed, "I'll take Wapol's head or die trying."

Dalton transformed back into a bison and galloped off and followed the path Wapol's forces had made following the path to Big Horn that he'd made with the Straw Hats.

Dalton the bison snorted and his fur stood on end as he prepared for the fight of his life.

* * *

"I see the lake!" Usopp called out, "Dalton said the people in Gyasta like to ice skate. The town should be right up ahead!"

A moment later later they spotted a series of small houses.

"You're right," Vivi realized, "This is the place!"

They rode into town and Vivi called out to a man with a pair dangling around his neck by their laces. "Excuse me, sir! We're looking for Dr. Kureha! It's an emergency. Someone in Cocoa Weed said she was headed here."

"Well you just missed her," the man informed them. "She rode through town with her reindeer just five minutes ago. She went that way." The man pointed off to the other end of the town. "But you'd better hurry. Gyasta is always her last stop before she heads back up to the castle."

"Thank you so much!" Vivi gushed. She whirled around to face her duck. "Carue, we're closing in. Could you give us a boost?"

" **Quack!"** Carue agreed with a salute. The duck hopped out of the sleigh and braced himself against the back. **"QUACK!"** The sleigh went off like a shot. Now that Carue was pushing from behind the sleigh seemed to weigh a fraction of its previous weight and flew across the snow way beyond its previous top speed.

 **SHOOM!**

There was, however, one drawback to their increased speed.

"Too fast! Too fast!" Ayako squeaked as she toppled over in the back and frantically covered her eyes.

"Hang in there, kid!" Usopp called back to her.

"I'm gonna be sick!" Ayako cried as she leaned over the side of the sleigh and lost her lunch. "BLEH!"

Vivi looked back at the Artist and flinched. "Well… at least we're heading towards a doctor…"

* * *

Luffy's group had finally made it to the Drum Rockies.

"Yay! We made it to the mountains!" Luffy cheered.

"Yeah… and now we know where all those Lapins went…" Sabo pointed out.

The herd of Lapins had gathered around the base of the Drum Rockies.

"Oh, right, the polar bears!" Luffy realized, "What're they doing?"

The huge gorilla-sized rabbits were all jumping up and down in a line.

"They're jumping…" Sanji noted.

"Is it a weird bunny line dance?" Miss Valentine suggested.

"Oh, maybe they're _hopping_ mad!" Sabo suggested with a wry smirk.

"Uuughh…" Sanji and Miss Valentine both groaned. Even Luffy couldn't bring himself to laugh.

 **KER-CHOW!**

Bonnie went off and smacked Sabo in the face. Sabo was knocked on his back in the snow.

"Kyahahahaha!" Miss Valentine giggled, "Okay, _that_ was funny! Even your rifle didn't like your pun!"

"Everyone's a critic…" Sabo complained as he sat up and brushed the snow off of him.

"Oh, _shit_!" Sanji suddenly swore, "I just realized what those rabbits are doing! WE'VE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE!"

"Why? We just got here," Luffy pointed out.

"Luffy! They're trying to start an avalanche!" Sanji exclaimed in a dread-filled panic.

* * *

Usopp pulled down his goggle lenses and peered ahead of them. "Hey! I see something! I think it might be another sleigh!"

"Keep going!" Vivi encouraged their three animals. "We're almost there!"

"Mommy I don't like this ride anymore…" a pale Ayako whimpered in the back as she cradled her head. "I don't have anything left to throw up… I wanna get off…"

"Hang in there, kid," Usopp urged her, "We're closing in! It's almost over… One final push!"

Their sleigh continued to close in on the other one and once they were within hearing range Vivi shouted to the driver. "EXCUSE ME! DOCTOR!"

The other sleigh slowed considerably and their three-animal team quickly caught up and pulled alongside them. Usopp, Ayako and Vivi surveyed the other driver and her steed.

The driver was an old woman… at least from the neck up. Her face had the wrinkles and hooked nose of an old crone. But from the neck down she had the hot, curvy body of a woman in the prime of her life.

Her steed was a young reindeer with a blue nose that was wearing a pink top hat and a blue backpack.

"Kids these days," the woman grumbled as both sleighs slowed to a stop, "They've got no patience. They're always in a hurry."

"Are you Dr. Kureha?" Vivi asked. "We have a medical emergency!"

At that moment Ayako fell out of the sleigh.

 **FWUMP!**

"Uuugghhh…" the Artist groaned and curled up into a ball. "LAND! I missed you!"

"That's not an emergency," Dr. Kureha remarked, "It's a simple case of motion sickness. You could've easily avoided it if you hadn't been racing around like maniacs."

"I… yes… well…" Vivi stammered awkwardly. "That wasn't actually…"

Ayako pushed herself up off of the ground and looked up at the old doctor, "Motion sickness? But I've never been motion sick before. I was just riding a duck… admittedly we weren't going as fast… but why did I get sick this time?"

"Judging from your small size and lack of muscle tone… I'd wager that you don't lead a very active life," the Doctor observed.

"Well… my uncle used to say I'm lazy to a fault…" Ayako admitted, "But that was mostly because I didn't like what I was doing…"

"My diagnosis is that your body became so used to you just sitting around and being inactive that when you started moving at such a breakneck speed it violently rebelled and you became sick."

 **Snort…**

Ayako turned to see the reindeer holding out a pill bottle. Everyone had been focused on the Doctor that they hadn't noticed the reindeer slipping off his backpack and fishing out the bottle.

"Good idea, Chopper," Dr. Kureha said, "Little girl, take one of those to settle your stomach. But be sure to wait at least fifteen minutes before eating."

Ayako twisted the cap off the bottle and popped a pill into her mouth.

 **Gulp!**

Ayako blinked and patted her stomach. "Oh… I feel much better."

"My medicine is fast acting and highly effective," Dr. Kureha informed her. "Lay off the high-speed travel and you'll be fine. Well... are you happy?"

"Wow… she's good," Usopp quietly remarked to Vivi.

"Thank you!" Ayako chirped. She turned and surprised Chopper when she threw her arms around the reindeer and hugged him.

Chopper went stiff then bolted away from Ayako and ducked behind the sleigh. The reindeer attempted to peak around the sleigh but got it backwards. Instead of just his eye and antler being visible… his entire body was visible while just his eye and antler were hidden.

"Um… you're hiding backwards," Ayako informed him. The reindeer quickly corrected himself. Ayako smiled good naturedly and looked away. "I guess Chopper's gone. Doctor, if you see your reindeer tell him that I like his pink hat."

"I'll be sure to tell him…" Dr. Kureha said with a knowing glance in her clumsy reindeer's direction. "Now… there's a matter of payment for my services…"

"Actually she wasn't why we went so far to chase you down," Vivi informed her. "One of our friends is gravely ill. When we last checked she had a fever of forty two degrees. We didn't know that you had come down from the mountain so some of our more impatient friends decided to climb up and bring her up to your castle."

"They're _climbing_ up the Drum Rockies?" Dr. Kureha questioned in surprise. "And I thought _you kids_ were the crazy ones. Just who are you anyway?"

Usopp stood up and struck his most manly pose, "I'm Captain Usopp and we're the Straw Hat Pirates!"

" **Did you say 'pirates'?"** a high pitched voice inquired.

Everyone stared at Dr. Kureha and her peculiar reindeer that was still peeking out from behind the sleigh.

Ayako looked up at Dr. Kureha, "Did you just say 'did you say 'pirates'?'"

"I must have…" Dr. Kureha said, "because everyone knows that reindeer don't talk…"

"Right, of course," Ayako easily agreed. Vivi and Usopp didn't look convinced.

"Let's go Chopper!" Dr. Kureha ordered, "We're going to have company up at the castle. And if those idiots are climbing up the mountain then all the survivors are likely to be incoming patients."

Chopper slipped back into his harness and had at some point put his backpack on. The doctor and her odd reindeer rushed off and left the Straw Hats behind.

Vivi let out a long sigh of relief and dropped on her back in the sleigh. "Phew… we did it… The doctor will be at the castle to treat Nami when the others get there... We've done our part. Now we just need to count on the others to get Nami there safely."

* * *

"RUN FOR IT!" Sanji screamed. He, Luffy, Sabo and Miss Valentine all turned on the spot and raced away from the mountain.

 **CROOOOM!**

A wave of snow broke off of the mountain and rushed after them.

"IT'S AN AVALANCHE!" Sabo screamed.

* * *

"Come on Ayako," Usopp said, "Get in."

"Oh no!" the Artist refused. "Not until you guys promise to slow it down. I don't wanna get sick again!"

"We caught the doctor," Vivi reminded her, "We don't need to go anywhere near that fast anymore."

" **Hey you… could I get a ride?"**

They all turned to see a shirtless and freezing Zoro standing behind their sleigh.

"Zoro!?" Usopp blurted out. "What're you doing here?"

"Yay! He's not frozen!" Ayako cheered.

" **Quack!"** Carue cheered along with her.

"You guys?" Zoro questioned. "What're you doing here?"

"I think that's our line," Vivi said.

"Ask the kid and the ostrich," Zoro replied, "I was taking a swim. I followed a fish upstream but when I got out I had no idea where I was."

"Wait… if you guys are all here then who's watching the Merry?" Usopp asked.

"The ship's fine," Ayako told them, "I painted it brown."

"Brown?" Usopp repeated.

Ayako reached into the sleigh and pulled out Zoro's painted coat and put it on.

Zoro, Usopp and VIvi all blinked in confusion.

"Wasn't Ayako here just now?" Usopp asked.

"We were just talking to her…" Zoro recalled.

"Where'd she go?" Vivi wondered.

 **Swish!**

Ayako threw off the coat, "Ta-dah!" Everyone's attention went back to her. "Colors Trap Boring Brown. Everyone who sees it ignores whatever it's on. I painted a bunch on the Going Merry so Wapol's men won't find anything over there."

"What's that about Wapol's men?" Zoro inquired.

"Wapol and his men attacked," Ayako explained. "I left the ship with Carue so I could warn somebody."

"Zoro! You're here!" Vivi realized, "Now that we've found the doctor we can go back and help Mr. Dalton and the militia fight off Wapol's forces."

Ayako silently fished Zoro's three swords out of her backpack and held them out to him.

Zoro grinned. "Alright. I'll help out." He grabbed Ayako and lifted her into the sleigh then climbed in after her.

"Um… guys… I think we've got a bigger problem to worry about," Usopp spoke up.

"What's that Usopp?" Vivi asked.

Usopp pointed up the mountain the huge wave of white snow that was rushing down from the top.

"THERE'S A HUGE AVALANCHE RUSHING DOWN THE MOUNTAIN TOWARDS US!" Usopp screamed.

"THAT'S WHERE THERE OTHERS WERE HEADING!" Vivi exclaimed.

"How much do you want to bet that they're responsible for that?" Zoro quipped.

"RUN FOR IT!" Usopp shrieked. The two rams and Carue immediately started running and carried the sleigh away from the rushing wave of snow.

"Uuugghh…" Ayako groaned and fell over. "Here we go again…"

* * *

"THOSE DAMN RABBITS!" Sanji growled as he and Luffy surfed down the mountain on the top of a toppled tree while Sabo and Miss Valentine surfed next to them on part of the trunk. "Just when we were at the base of the mountain!"

"What do we do now?" Luffy wondered. "We're going the wrong way!"

"We have to find a way to stop as soon as possible," Sabo tells them, "At this rate we'll reach the bottom and have to climb up all over again."

"I swear to God if I see those rabbits again I'll make stew out of them!" Sanji snarled.

"Um… well… there they are…" Miss Valentine pointed out as she looked behind them.

Everyone looked back to see the huge lapins surfing after them on bits of wood.

"What's wrong with these polar bears?" Luffy wondered.

" **GRRRAAAH!"** one of the lapins lunged at them.

"KNOCK BACK!"

 **WHAM!**

Sabo smacked the attacking rabbit with his rifle and sent flying away from them.

"OH NO!" Sanji gasped in alarm. "Look in front of us!"

There was another cliff stick up out of the snow but this one had sharp rocks and broken trees all over the top. They were on a collision course with it.

"I'm on it…" Sabo said as he aimed his rifle and opened fire.

 **KER-CHOW-CHOW-CHOW!**

The sharp rocks and broken trees were blown to bits which allowed their make-shift sleds to slide easily up the cliff and rest at the top. The Lapins continued to ride the avalanche down passed them.

"That was a close one," Sanji remarked as he rubbed a phantom pain in his back. "Who knows what would've happened if one of us hit those rocks."

 **CROOOSSH!**

The snow continued to rush passed them on both sides but for now everyone was safe on high ground.

* * *

"WAAAAAAAHHH!" Zoro, Usopp, Ayako and Vivi all screamed as their animal sleigh team rushed to outrun the avalanche.

The monstrous avalanche reached all the way to Big Horn and nearly buried the village in a blanket of snow.

But eventually the snow stopped and the island grew quiet once more.

* * *

 **CHOMP!**

A big pair of metal-plated lips ate a chunk of snow and left a hole in its wake.

Wapol climbed out of the hole then turned and spat out Chess, Kuromarmio and his white walkie furry hippo Robson.

 **PTOI!**

"Oh it's you guys," Wapol realized as he surveyed the only men that he hadn't abandoned in BIg Horn when the avalanche had reached it. "I thought I tasted something funny…"

Chess looked back the way they had come. "Even if Dalton survived being shot by all my arrows… he'll surely perish under this layer of snow."

"Sire, you can rest assured, that traitor who tried to take your head off is gone," Kuromarimo stated.

"Good then we'll move on to the next pest!" Wapol growled. "I bet this was all his fault anyway!"

"Pardon?" Chess asked.

"THAT DAMN TOP HAT AND HIS FRIENDS!" Wapol roared. "We learned those punks were heading up the mountain! They must have caused this avalanche! Damn that top-hatted bastard! This is the third time he's defied me! I'll personally execute that smarmy little punk!"

"Of course, Sire!" Kuromarimo was quick to agree with the King. "That makes sense."

It was actually partially true. Sabo had been responsible for the militia being on their guard. And his group and provoked the Lapins into causing the avalanche. But since Wapol's officers didn't actually know that... it just appeared that the King was just blaming Sabo for everything.

"If that witch Dr. Kureha is in my castle and those punks are heading there… then that's where we're heading too!" Wapol decided.

"Sire, the villagers reported that all the ropeways are down," Chess informed him.

"Then we'll have to climb the mountain after them!" Wapol resolved. "I'll teach those pirate peasants what Winter Warfare is all about!"

* * *

Further up the mountain, the wind blew as one of the baby lapins tugged at the paw of one of the fully grown lapins that had been buried in the snow.

" **Hey… it's that the one that I clubbed with my rifle?"**

"GAAH!" the young lapin gasped in alarm when it suddenly saw Luffy, Sabo, Sanji and Miss Valentine all standing over it. The small rabbit stretched itself up onto its hind legs and attempt to shield the bigger lapin's paw with its tiny body.

 **Shunk!**

Sabo stuck his hand into the snow and yanked out the huge gorilla-sized rabbit.

 **CROOSH!**

"There ya go," Sabo stated, "It turns out that causing an avalanche and attacking us was a very bad idea. I hope you learned a valuable lesson."

"Aaw… that was sweet!" Miss Valentine remarked as they continued on their way.

"This stinks…" Sanji complained. "Now we've got to go all the way back up to where we were before."

"Hang in there, Nami," Luffy addressed the sick Navigator on his back, "We'll get you to the doctor no matter what. Don't you die on me!"

 **"Sire, there they are!"**

" **I'LL KILL 'EM!"**

A wide smile spread across Sabo's face as he turned to face the familiar voice and saw Wapol, Chess and Kuromarimo riding towards them on a their hippo.

"It's that fat hippo again!" Luffy realized.

"Wait… are you talking about the hippo or the hippo riding the hippo?" Miss Valentine asked.

"Hey Bonnie, look who's back for more," Sabo remarked as he pulled Bonnie Anne off his back and loaded six new rounds into the rifle.

"Sabo, we don't have time for this," Sanji warned him.

"No, _Nami_ doesn't have time for this," Sabo corrected him. "I, however, am perfectly able to stay here ensure that this sad, sorry excuse for human life never reclaims his throne."

"You sure?" Luffy asked.

Sabo nodded, "Get Nami to the witch's castle. She needs the doctor. I'll take care of this royal pain in the ass."

Luffy ran off while Miss Valentine looked over at Sanji. "Three on one…"

Sabo ran forward to meet the charging hippo and blatantly barred the King's path.

"TOP HAT!" Wapol bellowed, "HOW DARE YOU COMMIT SUCH GRIEVOUS CRIMES AGAINST THIS NATION'S KING!"

"Actually, when I pumped you full of bullets yesterday, I had no idea you were a King," Sabo admitted. But then he flashed Wapol a malevolent grin. "Wait 'till you see what I do to you now that I know how you used to run your former country!"

"Used to? Former?" Wapol repeated. "I'M _STILL_ KING OF THIS COUNTRY!"

"Not if I have anything to say about it," Sabo assured him.

"Chess! I just thought of a new law!" Wapol announced. "'Ignoring the King is to be punished by death!' Execute Straw Hat and the girl on his back!"

The archer readied his bow and aimed at the Straw Hat Captain.

 **SKISH!**

Sanji was suddenly standing behind Sabo and blocking the Minister of Defense's shot. "Anyone who would dare threaten Nami-swan has to answer to me."

"And I'm here too," Miss Valentine announced as she stood behind Sabo on his other side.

"Why?" Sabo asked. "Your best chance at getting your memories back is on top of the mountain."

"Look... I get the impression that I was a bad person before I lost my memories," the amnesic officer agent admitted, "You may have caused my amnesia but from the moment I got on your ship... all I've done is hide behind you guys. This time I'm gonna make a new memory. I'm gonna stand here and fight beside you. I can't remember anything but I can count. Three versus three sounds better than three on two."

"I'll make sure she's okay," Sanji assured Sabo, "You focus on the King."

"With pleasure…" Sabo replied as he readied his rifle.

"AS THIS NATION'S KING… I SENTENCE ALL THREE OF YOU TO DEATH!" Wapol yelled as he and his men climbed off of their furry hippo.

"They'll be okay…" Luffy insisted as he raced away from the upcoming battle.

Nami was jostled awake and chanced a look back behind her. The battle line had been drawn. Wapol stood on one side with his two lackeys flanking him. Sabo stood opposite them with Sanji two steps behind him and Miss Valentine two steps behind the cook on the Quartermaster's other side.

Nami squinted and for a brief fleeting moment she was able to make out a fourth figure standing side-by-side with Sabo. Her arm was wrapped around Sabo's as she stood in the place of his rifle.

But then the Navigator's vision was jarred by a heavy stomp from Luffy. She blinked and the mysterious woman was gone.

"Sheez goda tayl…" Nami mumbled.

Unfortunately, the only person close enough to possibly hear the sick Navigator's observation was Luffy. But the rubber pirate was single-mindedly focused on getting Nami away from the battle so he was unable to hear her over his frantic foot-falls as they crunched in the snow.

"You guys ready for this?" Sabo asked his companions.

Sanji nodded. "If fighting these guys will allow Nami to get to the doctor… I'll give it everything I have."

"I'm gonna protect my eye candy," Miss Valentine vowed. "Let's go Blonde Squad!"

* * *

I know, I'm a tease. You think this is bad? This cliff hanger is just to prepare you for the one coming next chapter. I am currently laying landmines around my specially constructed bunker in order to prepare for the heavy backlash I'm sure to receive. So don't say I didn't warn you.

The presence of Sabo and Ayako is changing things on multiple fronts. Thanks to Sabo, Vivi didn't get shot by the militia and Sanji didn't break his back on those rocks. Thanks to Ayako, Carue didn't freeze in the water while trying to save Zoro and Vivi's group managed to catch Dr. Kureha (and an early glimpse of Chopper!). I skipped over old scenes like Dr. Kureha's introduction and Dalton fighting Wapol that happen exactly the same as they do in canon and instead I chose to focus on the new scenes. Also, does anyone remember that filler scene from the anime where Zoro finishes his swim and comes across Kureha and Chopper before the avalanche? Vivi's group were in the same place so he ran into them instead.

Other things from this chapter that are worth noting... Sabo and Vivi are finally friends! Woo-hoo! And Dalton revealed that he'd recognized Vivi because they already talked about Wapol and Blackbeard. He'd been distracted two other times but in lieu of not having any other conversation topics he went with that. Also, I borrowed Ayako's Boring Brown and motion sickness from QPython. I was given permission when he abandoned his series. I love character quirks so Ayako's is motion sickness. She's so used to be lazy that her body physically can not handle moving at extreme speeds.

Poor Chopper has no idea that a storm of crazy is headed straight for him.

Silver signing off


	33. Chopper

_**BROTHER ON BOARD**_

Babyyouknowme13 - The first fight's going to be chaos since there's six people involved. Also, I tweaked Wapol's powers a bit to make him more durable. He's going to need all the help he can get.

yuzukikuran476 - Wow! I'm glad you like my story so much. Don't worry, I'm having a blast writing this and I have no plan to stop anytime soon. Although 15,000 word chapters like these last two take a while to write. I made full use of that extra week.

The Patient One - I doubt Drum would be overly concerned with 'pirate news' unless it pertains to Wapol. Pirates are dangerous outlaws. You can never be too careful. And yes, it was 'she's got a tail'. I told you once that Bonnie Anne would be hard to guess from a One Piece stand point. But if you come at it from the Pirate101 side it's more obvious. I call it hiding in plain sight.

Bluejay Blaze - I only called the rabbits rodents because I was quoting Monty Python. But didn't Ace visit Drum a week before the Straw Hats? Plus he was in a completely different town. Luckily, Luffy and Sabo have ten days to catch up with their brother.

The Keeper of Worlds - I don't have a white paint for Ayako yet. I've got a few ideas. I've got something for orange, indigo and purple. But no white so far. Let me know if you can come up with something interesting. Nami saw Bonnie because she's sick, dying and possibly hallucinating. But they key one is dying.

Starelight - She said 'She's got a tail'. Don't worry though, Nami's recovers in this chapter and tips off Sabo. So it's not a very long mystery.

BillCiTheDemonGuy - Bonnie's got a tail. Or at least Nami's sick and dying hallucination-version of Bonnie has one. You'll see in this chapter if that's accurate.

Guest - And by reindeer standards, Chopper's totally nuts. But unfortunately, he's also young, lonely and highly-impressionable. We'll see how meeting a crazy crew of pirates rubs off on him.

TheREALMightyKamina - It appears that way doesn't it? Now we just need Sabo to find out. Too bad he and Nami don't actually know what Minks are. And how is Sabo supposed to stumble across the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch if Brother Maynard always carries it with him?

Dr. Zenkai - Thanks for pointing that out. Miss Valentine's real name was Mana in another fanfic that I read. I can't tell you how many of those Ayako will be present for but you can safely assume that she's not going to have the best time during the Skypiea Arc.

luvBonnieAnne - Don't worry, Nami's back in commission in this chapter and Sabo will attempt to tackle that very mystery. I'm happy that Ayako's being well received. I think she'll be a fun addition to the crew.

OrangeFrito - ?

Miqila - Don't look at me. Negative 10 degrees Celsius/14 degrees Fahrenheit was the temperature Vivi gave in my manga translation. (I still blame Miss Valentine for the switch to the metric system.) And a few scenes later Luffy and Usopp made snowmen. Maybe there was a wind-chill factor while they were at sea? It was 'She's got a tail'. But don't worry... it won't be a mystery for my longer. (Does that sound cryptic to you?)

rasEnshur1KEn - Unfortunately, Sabo and Nami don't know what Minks are. Fortunately, there's a reindeer-human at the castle they're heading to that can hopefully push Sabo's investigation in the right direction. And yeah, Nami saw Bonnie because she's sick and dying. I know its a little obvious. But remember that the emphasis there is on 'dying'.

 **A/N** **: Boy did I need that extra week! Here's my longest chapter yet! Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chopper-**

Luffy stood at the bottom of Drum Rock with Nami on his back. The doctor's castle was exactly five thousand meters above them.

"Hang in there, Nami," Luffy said. "We've got a long climb ahead of us."

Luffy reached out and grabbed hold of the sheer straight rock face and began to climb upward.

* * *

Sabo, Sanji and Miss Valentine stood ready to face off with Wapol, Chess and Kuromarimo.

"Hey Sanji… did you notice how much this guy sounds like Don Krieg?" Sabo asked.

Sanji scowled, "If you mean that they're both arrogant blowhards who think that everything should be handed to them on a silver platter based on who they are… then yes."

Wapol suddenly called out, "Snow Kingdom Specialty… SNOW POWDER MAKE UP!"

And like that Wapol and his men were gone.

"Damn coward…" Sabo growled. "Everyone keep your eyes peeled!"

 **SKISH!**

" **MARIMO SURPRISE!"**

Kuromarimo popped out of the snow and swung a spiked boxing glove at Miss Valentine.

"YAAH!" the blonde yelped and reeled backwards but Sanji quickly sprang in and kicked the former Magistrate's wrist away.

 **THWAK!**

"That's no way to treat a lady!" the cook growled as he spun around and swung his other leg at Kuromarimo's face.

 **SKISH!**

Kuromarimo leapt out of the way just as Chess fired a batch of arrows from his bow.

 **CHOO!**

Sanji swung his leg around in front of him.

 **WHISH!**

The breeze from Sanji's kick blew the arrows off course and caused them to miss their target.

But when they looked up both lackeys were gone.

"You know… I just realized that this might've been a bad idea…" Miss Valentine admitted, "I may still have my Devil Fruit Powers but I don't have any memory of using them in battle…"

"From what I remember," Sabo spoke up, "you'd lower your weight and float in the air with your umbrella then you'd raise your weight and fall on your target."

"Umbrella?" Miss Valentine repeated. "What umbrella? I don't have an umbrella!"

"Great…" Sabo muttered.

 **SKISH!**

Wapol lunged out of the snow and snapped at Sabo's legs.

 **SKISH-CHOMP!**

Sabo jumped over Wapol's snapping snout and aimed Bonnie down at him.

 **KER-CHOW!**

 **WOOSH!**

But Wapol sank back down into the snow and left only a hole and a new bullet hole in his wake.

"Damn it!" Sabo spat when he landed on the ground. "What is this? A game of whack a mole? You wanna fight or not?"

 **SKISH!**

"You fool! That's Snow Country Combat!" Wapol exclaimed as he popped out of the snow some ways away and pointed his arm at Sabo. "MUNCH MUNCH SHOCK… ARM CANNON!"

 **BOOOM!**

Wapol blasted a cannonball at Sabo who spun to the side and avoided it.

Sabo quickly fired off a shot with Bonnie Anne. "RETURN FIRE!"

 **KER-CHOW!**

Wapol covered his face with his cannon arm and Bonnie's bullet blasted a chunk out of the barrel. "Damn pest!"

 **Swish!**

The cowardly King ducked back down into his hole and the game of whack a mole continued.

Meanwhile, Sanji hooked his foot around Wapol's wayward cannonball and redirected it towards Chess who had just popped out of the snow with three new arrows aimed at Miss Valentine.

 **WHISH!**

"WAAAH!" Chess yelped and ducked back down into the hole he'd come out from.

 **BOOOM!**

The cannonball blew a hole in the ground but the archer had escaped unscathed.

"This getting ridiculous," Sanji complained. "The bastards won't stick around long enough for me to get a good kick in."

Down underground, Wapol had a quick strategy meeting with his officers.

"Their teamwork is better than expected," the Minister of Defense admitted.

"Maybe we can focus all our attack on one of them," the Magistrate Suggested.

"Fine! But we're killing Top Hat first!" the King decided.

"SABO! HEADS UP!" Sanji suddenly called out in warning.

 **CHOO!**

Sabo weaved to the side to avoid a flying arrow.

 **SKISH!**

Wapol popped out of the snow with his huge mouth wide opened and ready to swallow Sabo whole. But instead of retreated, Sabo lunged forward and stomped down on Wapol's lower teeth while bracing Bonnie against Wapol's top teeth top to wedge the Munch Munch Man's mouth open.

"Ha! You're not going anywhere now!" Sabo taunted.

"AH 'ON'T 'EED 'O!" was the King's muffled retort. "'UNCH 'UNCH 'OCK… TO'G 'ANN'N!"

 **Shoom!**

Wapol's tongue transformed and became a fully armed cannon that was aimed straight at Sabo.

Sabo pulled Bonnie down and held Wapol's top jaw up with one hand while he pointed her at Wapol's deadly new tongue. He didn't have to bother pulling her trigger. "QUICK DRAW!"

 **KER-CHOW!**

"WAAH!" Wapol wailed in surprise as Bonnie's bullet tore through the barrel of his cannon as it fired.

 **KA-BOOOM!**

The cannon backfired and exploded in Wapol's mouth which blasted the King backwards and knocked him on his back.

 **Tmp!**

Sabo smirked and landed on his feet.

 **SKISH!**

" **MARIMO SURPRISE!"**

Kuromarimo appeared out of nowhere and swung a spiked boxing glove at the rifle-wielder.

 **SKISH!**

Sabo leapt up into the air to avoid the strike.

"Ha! Right where I want you!" Chess exclaimed as he popped out of the snow and aimed three new arrows at the airborne Sabo.

"Uh oh…" Sabo gasped as he glanced down at the two officers poised below him.

"CHECKMATE!" Chess and Kuromarimo chorused.

"Quick, get on my leg!" Sanji instructed Miss Valentine. He stood on one leg and held his other one out to the blonde.

 **SKISH!**

Miss Valentine lowered her weight then leapt onto Sanji's leg and perched on it.

"ARMÉE DE L'AIR... KILO SHOOT!"

 **WOOOSH!**

The Straw Hat Cook whipped his leg around and launched the blonde woman towards the three men ganging up on Sabo.

"10,000 KILO SMASH!"

 **WHAAAM!**

Miss Valentine slammed into Chess with all of the momentum from Sanji's kick aided by her maximum weight and sent the archer flying.

 **WHAAAM!**

Chess crashed into Kuromarimo and swept the afro-boxer off his feet.

"Huh?" Wapol grunted right before his two officers smacked into him.

 **WHAAAM!**

"AAAAAHHH!" All three went flying off in a distance and showed no signs of stopping anytime soon.

 **Tmp!**

Sabo landed on the ground and stared after their three adversaries. "Thanks for that. I guess that's another win for our crew."

"Oi Sabo… they left their cow," Sanji noted as he pointed at Robson.

"Stand back boys," Miss Valentine instructed. "This requires a woman's touch." The blonde agent smiled warmly as she walked up to the abandoned White Walkie and playfully stroked his furry muzzle. "Hey there, cutie! Was that nasty King mean to you?"

Robson nodded his head sadly.

"Aww… poor baby," Miss Valentine cooed sympathetically. "Don't worry. I'll take care of you. Listen, we're looking to climb that mountain over there. But it's a really long climb. Would you be a dear and give us a lift? Pretty please?" The blonde batted her eyes and smiled sweetly at the hippo.

 **Da-dum… da-dum!**

Robson's eyes became hearts and his tongue lolled out as he frantically nodded his head.

"Aww! Thank you!" Miss Valentine chirped. "There's a good boy! There's a good boy!"

Robson rolled onto his back in the snow and allowed the blonde woman to pat his belly. His right hind leg kicked like a happy puppy's under her affectionate ministrations.

"Now… I don't know what they used to call you…" Miss Valentine admitted, "But since you're a big, white, fluffy, old softie… I think I'll call you Marshmallow. Does that sound good to you, my sweet little Marshmallow?"

Robson… now Marshmallow... rolled over onto his belly again and nodded his head.

"Kyahahaha!" Miss Valentine giggled and looked back at Sabo and Sanji. "Hey guys! I got us a ride!"

Sabo and Sanji shared a look and shrugged. "Works for me."

The three blondes climbed up into Marshmallow's saddle. Miss Valentine sat in the driver's seat and Sanji was all too happy to sit behind her and wrap his arms around her waist. Sabo slipped Bonnie back onto his back and sprawled out sideways across the back of the saddle.

"Alright, Marshmallow!" Miss Valentine called out, "Take us to Drum Castle!"

" **MOFUUUN!"** Marshmallow grunted as he stood up to his full height. The hippo's seemingly short stubby legs were actually long like a horse's and left the furry hippo towering over the snow as he raced towards the Drum Rockies.

"WOW!" Miss Valentine exclaimed. "This is amazing! Go Marshmallow! We'll get back to the mountains in no time!"

"Although now I'm getting snow in my eyes…" Sabo complained.

"Don't you have goggles on your top hat?" Sanji asked.

Sabo blinked. "Ya know, I use those things so rarely that I completely forgot..."

* * *

"Grrr…" Luffy growled to himself as he continued to climb bare handed and practically bare foot up the flat side of Drum Rock.

" **MOFUUUN!"**

Luffy looked down in surprise and found a furry hippo climbing up the side of Drum Rock after him.

"Hey Luffy!" a goggle-wearing Sabo casually called out from the back of Marshmallow's saddle, "Miss Valentine got us a ride. Want a lift?"

"Sure!" Luffy agreed.

And so Luffy joined them in Marshmallow's saddle. The rubber pirate had made decent progress considering he only had Nami on his back, as opposed to how awkward it would have been climbing up with a second unconscious passenger hanging off of him.

But unlike Luffy, Marshmallow the newly renamed White Walkie had been bred for climbs like this. He easily walked up the flat side of the cylindrical mountain and was completely unencumbered by the five passengers on his back.

The long climb that in another world would have taken Luffy well over three hours only took Marshmallow one hour.

They reached the flat top of Drum Rock and stared up at Wapol's extravagant castle.

"WHOA! That's a huge castle!" Luffy exclaimed as he climbed off of Marshmallow and stared up at the towering structure. Sabo slid down after him.

"Faaan-cyyy!" Miss Valentine remarked as she remained seated on her fluffy steed. Marshmallow squatted back down on the ground and followed Luffy and Sabo as they approached the castle.

"And the class system rears its ugly head again," Sabo grumbled. "King Fat-ass gets to live in this place while the villagers are practically roughing it down below in little huts like Dalton's."

"Hey… is that a black flag flying at the top?" Sanji inquired. He was in no hurry to leave his seat behind Miss Valentine.

"I suddenly like this castle ten-times better," Sabo stated as he craned his neck to stare through his blue-framed goggles up at the black flag while he continued to walk forward. "It looks like a skull… and cherry blossoms… I guess you were right Luffy. This witch really is like a pirate."

"Um… Sabo…" The Quartermaster was so distracted in staring up at the Jolly Roger that he didn't notice that Luffy and Marshmallow had stopped. He also didn't notice the creature standing out in front of the castle's door staring transfixed at Sabo's black top hat.

 **THUD!**

Sabo walked right into a furry brown 'yeti' and they both fell on their asses.

"Sorry about that!" Sabo called out as he and the yeti scrambled back up to their feet.

"Hey there!" Sabo casually greeted the hulking creature that stood nearly two feet taller than him. "You must be the witchdoctor's yeti. That's a nice top hat you've got there."

Sabo eyed the pink top hat while the 'yeti' seemed to be staring at Sabo's black top hat.

"Whoa… is that guy some kind of monster?" Luffy wondered. "That's so cool!"

"Hang back over here, Luffy," Sanji advised. "Your top priority is keeping Nami-swan safe. Let the Quartermaster sort things out with the yeti."

"My name's Sabo," Sabo introduced himself, "I'm the Quartermaster of the Straw Hat Pirates." Sabo smiled and offered his hand to the yeti.

Chopper stared at Sabo and his outstretched hand in shock. Every villager on this island was terrified of 'the yeti'. But this pirate was standing there with his hand outstretched without a hint of fear.

" _Doctor… pirates are as brave as you said they were!"_

"Hey buddy… don't leave me hanging," Sabo called out as he waved his hand. "C'mon. You shake it."

Chopper suddenly noticed that a human was standing within arm's reach of him. A human with a gun.

 **"RRRROOOOAAAARRRR!"**

Sabo reared back from Chopper roaring in his face then blinked and idly picked at his ear.

"Did you just roar the word 'roar' at me?" Sabo asked.

Chopper backed away and pointed at Bonnie Anne.

"Oh, that's the just Bonnie," Sabo reassured him. "We're just here to see the doctor. I promise I won't shoot you and neither will she."

Chopper pointed at the ground.

"I can't put Bonnie down in the snow…" Sabo protested. "She'll freeze!"

Chopper pointed at the ground more insistently.

"Okay… I understand… you don't like guns…" Sabo realized. "Here… how's this…" Sabo slowly pulled Bonnie off his back and cracked her open. He turned the rifle over and dumped the remaining bullets out into the snow. "There, no bullets. Now I can't shoot you." Sabo snapped Bonnie closed then pointed the rifle at his own chin and pulled the trigger.

 **Click!**

"See?" Sabo asked. "I swear I won't shoot you!"

" _I SWEAR I WON'T SHOOT YOU!" shouted a naked man who had once worn a similar top hat._

Chopper flinched at the familiar words from a person in a black top hat. "But I can't put her down…" Sabo continued, "She's… how do I explain this to a yeti? Uh… She's my mate!"

Chopper reeled back with a shocked expression and couldn't help blurting out, "But that's a gun!"

Sabo's jaw dropped and he stared at Chopper with an equally shocked expression. "It talks!"

"Um… I mean… ROAR!" Chopper stammered. Two slip ups in one day! All because of pirates!

Sabo's eyes lit up as he turned to look behind him. "LUFFY! COME HERE! THIS TALKING YETI-GUY IS REALLY INTERESTING!"

 **ZZZIP!**

Luffy was instantly standing beside Sabo.

"I think this guy's a lot smarter than he wants us to believe," Sabo informed his brother.

Chopper backed away further and eyed the two pirates warily.

"Hey! Don't go!" Luffy called out. "We outran a huge avalanche and a pack of polar bears to get here! My Navigator's really sick. We need your help!"

Chopper's eyes went to Luffy's passenger.

"She's got a horrible fever," Sabo explained, "If it keeps up… she could die." He stepped away from Luffy and pointed towards Nami. "Feel her forehead."

Sabo backed away from Luffy and slung Bonnie across his shoulders so she wasn't pointed anywhere near Chopper.

Chopper cautiously approached Luffy and reached over the straw hat pirate to feel Nami's forehead.

 **Fsssss…**

Chopper yanked his hand back and stared at Nami in alarm. "GIMME!" The huge yeti yanked Nami off of Luffy's back and cradled the sick navigator in his arms as he made a mad dash into the castle.

"Luffy!" Sanji exclaimed as he and Miss Valentine charged forward on Marshmallow. "Did you just let that monster steal our lovely thief? What if he eats her?"

 **"Don't worry about him.** _ **I'd**_ **be more likely to eat your friend than that big-hearted oaf."**

They all turned to see Dr. Kureha standing in the castle's doorway,

"Well, you'd better not!" Sabo warned her, "...she'd probably give you indigestion."

"Hee hee hee!" Dr. Kureha cackled like a witch. "Quite the mouth on you!"

"Hey, are you the witch?" Luffy asked.

"I'm _Dr. Kureha_ , yes," the doctor confirmed. "You can call me Doctorine."

Miss Valentine eyed the ancient doctor's snug midriff baring top, "Aren't you cold wearing that?"

"When you live on a Winter Island for over a hundred years you get used to the cold," Doctorine replied. "Want to know the secret of my youthful appearance? TOO BAD! It's none of your business!"

"I didn't ask that…" Miss Valentine muttered.

Dr. Kureha eyed the new arrivals, "I ran into some friends of yours down on the island who warned me that you'd be climbing up here. Did you all really make it all the way without a scratch on you?"

"Well we ran into some polar bears…" Luffy recalled, "And they caused an avalanche…"

"And we had to deal with a fat, ugly hippo…" Sabo added.

 **"MOFUUN!"** Marshmallow gasped.

"Not you, sweetie," Miss Valentine reassured her fluffy hippo.

"I'm gonna go make sure Nami's okay with that monster!" Luffy called out as he slipped passed Doctorine and dashed into the castle.

Dr. Kureha stared after Luffy, "Oh… sure… just make yourself at home…"

"We do have one other injury we need you to take a look at," Sanji spoke up. He took Miss Valentine's hand in his and led the blonde woman over to Dr. Kureha.

"This is Miss Valentine," Sabo explained as he motioned to the blonde former agent, "She sustained a serious head injury on the last island we were on. Now she's got the worst case of amnesia that I've ever seen or heard of. She doesn't even remember her real name."

"Let's have a look," Doctorine resolved as she stepped up to the blonde and snatched off her yellow hat then tossed it aside with one smooth motion. She grabbed Miss Valentine's chin and tilted the younger woman's face towards her then reached up and prodded the top of her head experimentally.

"Ow!" Miss Valentine yelped and winced at the gentle contact.

"Looks like you've got some bruising and probably internal bleeding," Dr. Kureha observed. "The good news is I can do something about this… The bad news is I'll need to shave your head to do it."

"WHAT!?" Miss Valentine shrieked. "NEVER MI-"

 **SLIK!**

Doctorine casually pulled a syringe out Miss. Valentine's neck as the blonde's green eyes rolled back and she collapsed against the doctor.

 **"MOFUUN!"** Marshmallow growled.

"Easy…" Sanji calmed the White Walkie. "She's a doctor. Now Valentine won't hurt herself."

"This one's lighter than I thought she'd be…" Dr. Kureha mused as she lifted the lightweight, unconscious blonde onto her shoulder.

"She's got Devil Fruit Powers that allow her to change her weight," Sabo informed her. "She probably set her weight at a little less than normal."

"You're sure you can help her… right?" Sanji questioned.

"I can heal the injuries but the memory loss will be much harder to treat," she answered. Doctorine turned toward the castle. "Well, come in, no sense in standing out here and getting frost bite."

Sabo turned to Marshmallow and patted the hippo on the muzzle "We'll make sure she's okay. The only one that's looking to hurt her here is Wapol. If you want to keep helping her… stay out here and stand guard. The second you see, hear or smell any sign of Wapol… sound the alarm."

 **"Mofuun…"** Marshmallow agreed with a nod.

Sabo stopped to pick up Miss Valentine's discarded hat then walked into the castle and found Sanji standing inside the snow-filled entryway. There was a tall five-story column that reached all the way up to the ceiling and had a spiral staircase winding up it. Sabo spotted Dr. Kureha carrying Miss Valentine down a hallway on the second floor.

"You okay?" Sabo asked the cook who was rooted in place.

"Fine," Sanji said. "I just haven't seen the inside of a castle in a long time." Sabo raised an eyebrow while Sanji turned to face him. "You're right. Most spoiled royals don't have a shred of decency in their body. That's why the ones that are actually able to feel compassion are often overlooked. Princesses like Vivi have to be cherished. I'm glad you made peace with her… because if you kept giving her a hard time I was gonna have to kick your face in. "

Sabo stared at Sanji. "Where are you from exactly?"

"Nowhere special," the cook replied. "Just a small kingdom in the North Blue." Sanji looked away. "I think it might be colder in here than it is out there."

Sabo blinked at the abrupt change of subject and glanced around the entryway at the frozen over doors. "Looks like they never close the front door. Do you think we should take care of that?"

 **Click!**

Sabo looked over his shoulder at his rifle. "Really? Why not?"

"Take a look behind you," Sanji said as he pointed up at the top of the door. "There's a nest."

Sabo turned and spotted a nest that had been made on the open door. "Oh… you're right… that'd fall if we close the door."

"Sharp eyes on that rifle," Sanji remarked with a small smile towards Bonnie Anne.

"Of course," Sabo agreed. He spotted some stairs off the side and made his way over to them. Sanji followed and the two of them turned down the same hallway that Dr. Kureha had gone down. They found Luffy standing outside a closed door.

 **"Did you find the cause of her fever, Chopper?"** the doctor's voice came through the door.

 **"Yes, I found a bug bite,"** a high pitched voice responded. **"I think it's a kestia."**

 **"I'll leave her care to you while I deal with the other one."**

Sabo looked over at Luffy, "Was there anybody else in there?"

"No… just some tanuki in a top hat that was sniffing around Nami," Luffy answered. "But then the witch showed up and kicked me out."

"Well… it sounds like the doctor and her assistant have things under control," Sanji reasoned. "I'll go search for the kitchen."

"I'm gonna see if I can find that yeti-monster!" Luffy decided. "He disappeared."

Luffy and Sanji each headed off in a different direction and left Sabo standing in front of the door.

"I guess I'll just wait here," Sabo resolved, "...and figure out how we're going to afford this…"

* * *

Wapol, Chess and Kuromarimo had crash landed in a pile of snow.

"DAMN THOSE PUNKS!" Wapol yelled. "HOW DARE THEY!"

"I'm sorry, sire, it seems we underestimated them," Chess apologized.

"Wait… what happened to Robson?" Kuromarimo wondered. The three glanced around them but saw no sign of the King's furry steed.

"DAMN THEM! THEY STOLE MY HIPPO!" Wapol roared. "I'LL KILL 'EM! I'LL KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF 'EM!"

 **"GGGGRRRAAAAAAAHHHH!"**

Wapol and his flunkies blinked at the loud growling and glanced around them. They were suddenly very aware of the fact that they were surrounded by an angry herd of Lapins.

"I don't have time for this!" Wapol growled. "I'm the King! I'll show them the Munch Munch Factory!"

"Sire… you're going to use _that_ … against some dumb animals?" Kuromarimo questioned.

"I'm not in the mood to hold back anymore!" Wapol snarled. "Chess! List my meals for the day!"

"Yes sire," Chess agreed, "You had one raw cannon, a second cannon sauteed in butter, a cannonball and gunpowder salad… and back in Big Horn you had a grilled house."

"Watch this stupid rabbits…" Wapol growled, "MUNCH MUNCH SHOCK… WAPOL HOUSE!"

 **SHOOM!**

The Lapins backed away as Wapol suddenly grew to be two stories tall. His arms had become cannons, a chimney had grown out of his head and his body had become the house he had eaten down in Big Horn, complete with a door and windows on his chest.

"BOW BEFORE THE KING!" Wapol yelled as he pointed his arms at the cowering Lapins and opened fire.

 **BOOOM-BOOOM-BOOOM-BOOOM!**

The Lapins that had survived Wapol's opening barrage scattered in terror.

"Now let's get back to my castle!" Wapol resolved. "We're going to kill every last person there!"

* * *

"This place looks familiar…" Usopp remarked.

They'd all survived the avalanche but their sleigh hadn't been so lucky. Now Usopp and Zoro were each riding a ram while Ayako rode behind Vivi on Carue.

"Is it really Big Horn?" Vivi wondered. "It's almost completely buried in snow!"

"I thought you said there was gonna be a fight?" Zoro asked. "Everyone's just standing around."

"Excuse me!" Vivi called out to a familiar bear-lady. "What happened here?"

"It's horrible!" the bear-woman gasped. "Dalton was wounded fighting Wapol and he got buried under that avalanche. But now Wapol's men won't let us back in the village to dig him out."

"So those guys in the uniforms are the enemy then?" Zoro asked as he drew his swords.

"Yup!" Ayako confirmed. "Go get 'em Zoro!"

Zoro charged into the village and began cutting down anyone wearing the familiar uniform.

 **SLISH! SLIKA-SLICE!**

"Hey Usopp… why don't you help him out?" Ayako suggested.

"Um… I think Zoro's got this just fine," Usopp told her, "And some of those guys are pretty big…"

 **"Colors Trap… Boring Brown!"**

 **Swish!**

A familiar brown symbol splattered on Usopp's back. "Those guys won't even notice you now."

A switch flipped when Usopp realized that there was zero chance of him behind hurt… and suddenly the Master Gunner was the bravest man on the island.

"HA-HAH!" Usopp crowed as he drew his slingshot and joined the fray. "YOU'LL NEVER SEE ME COMING! I'M USOPP THE WHIRLWIND! LEAD STAR! GUNPOWDER STAR!"

 **Choo… choo… KA-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM!**

"Where'd Usopp go?" Vivi wondered.

"He decided to go and help after I gave him a little confidence boost," Ayako replied.

Together Zoro and Usopp made short work of Wapol's remaining men.

"That was almost too easy…" Zoro remarked as he stood next to the pile of defeated soldiers.

Usopp wiped the brown paint off of his back and suddenly everyone noticed him as he struck a pose, "That's because you had Captain Usopp on your side!"

"Those pirates are incredible!" the bear-lady exclaimed. "The one was so strong! And the other was so fast I didn't even see him!"

"COME ON EVERYBODY!" Vivi called out. "THE VILLAGE IS CLEAR! LET'S DIG OUT MR. DALTON!"

"YYEEEAAAAH!" the villagers cheered as they took up shovels charged into the village after the Princess.

* * *

 **"KYYYAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"** Sabo jumped to his feet at the sound of a loud scream.

A moment later the door to the patient room opened and Dr. Kureha came out and took a long swig from a bottle of rum.

"Hee hee hee!" Doctorine cackled. "Both operations were a success. The one girl's fever is already starting to drop. She was suffering from the Five Day Sickness due to a kestia bite. It's a poisonous tick that used to live in prehistoric jungles. I've no idea where you ran into one. But you're lucky that I kept my anti-venom cure around just in case."

"Well… we came from Little Garden," Sabo explained. "There were dinosaurs there. It was really cool. Did you say Five Day Sickness? Does that mean her symptoms would have stopped after five days?"

"Of course," Dr. Kureha answered. "They would've stopped because _she would've been_ _dead_!"

"Wow… you're a lifesaver!" Sabo exclaimed. "Thank you!"

"Hee hee hee," Dr. Kureha cackled, "Don't thank me. It was my assistant that took care of her."

"Right, well pass on my thanks…" Sabo trailed off when a blue-nosed reindeer in a familiar pink hat slipped out of the patient room and dashed down the hall to the next room. "Was that reindeer wearing a top hat? That's the same thing as the yeti… And Luffy said he saw a tanuki in a top hat..."

"Maybe I like to dress them all the same," Dr. Kureha suggested with a smirk. "Anyway, as a precaution I want to keep her under observation for another three days. Just to make sure she's been fully cured and doesn't die from any lingering bacteria."

"Three days…" Sabo repeated as a blue haired princess flashed through his mind. "We don't have that long… We've got somewhere important to be. We already took a major detour to get here."

"WELL TOUGH!" Dr. Kureha snapped. "I'm not releasing that girl until she's fully cured! The only way I'd ever agree to let her go is if you had a doctor on your crew to keep an eye on her. But good luck finding anyone outside of this castle with that skill level."

"A Ship's Doctor, huh?" Sabo questioned.

"You can have the other one back though," the doctor said, "I treated her head injuries and she just woke up. The scream was when she noticed her hair. She's free to go. Well… are you happy?"

"Yes! Thank you so much…" Sabo said as he offered her a sack. "These pickled plums are for you."

"Who told you I liked pickled plums?" Doctorine asked as she took the sack.

"Um… Dalton?"

"Figures," Dr. Kureha muttered. "He's the only one that knows that. He sends me a box every year on my birthday. You even got me the pitted kind… Not bad. You can go in to see them now."

The doctor stepped aside with her snack sack and Sabo made his way into the room. He first spotted Nami sleeping in a bed by the window and headed straight for her. When he drew close he reached out and placed a hand on the navigator's forehead.

Sabo nodded. "It's gone down. That's a miracle."

 **"Sabo…"**

Sabo turned and his jaw dropped as he took in Miss Valentine's appearance.

"Don't… say… anything…" Miss Valentine growled as she sat up in the bed around the corner.

The top of her head was covered in bandages. Her blonde bang that usually framed the left side of her face was gone, having been shaved off along with all the rest of her hair.

"I've got your hat…" Sabo offered as he held out the yellow hat he'd picked up earlier.

"GIMME!" Miss Valentine yanked the hat out of his hands and stuffed it down over her bandaged head. "Thank you for getting me here."

"Any luck with your memory yet?" Sabo inquired.

The bald blonde shook her head. "The doctor fixed the damage… but she said my memories would eventually come back on their own. Nothing yet though." She hung her head and sighed sadly.

 **"Don't fret, my lovely valentine! I have prepared a special treat for you!"**

The Ship's Cook walked into the room carrying a tray of steaming mugs.

Luffy followed him into the room and had apparently been following the cook for some time. "Come on Sanji! Just let me have one!"

"I already told you that Miss Valentine gets the first one!" Sanji scolded him. "Where are your manners? It's always ladies first!"

Sanji side-stepped Luffy and offered the tray to Miss Valentine.

"What is it?" Miss Valentine asked as she took one of the proffered mugs.

"Hot chocolate," Sanji answered. "I thought it fitting after you named that cow 'Marshmallow'."

"Thanks, Sanji! You're the best!" Miss Valentine chirped. She closed her eyes and took a long sip, "Mmmmm… that's divine. I love chocolate."

Her bright green eyes flew wide open. "I love chocolate…"

She looked down at the cup in her hands then shotgunned the whole thing. "I LOVE CHOCOLATE! HOLY FUDGE! _I REMEMBER_!"

"Really?" Sabo and Sanji asked eagerly. Neither of them noticed Luffy as he snatched mugs off of the tray.

"I always wanted to be a Chocolate Lady…" Miss Valentine recalled. "I made these chocolate treats that were to die for! I even had a little bakery…"

"Here! Have some more!" Sanji quickly offered as he held out an empty tray.

 **BURP!**

The cook looked back to see Luffy finish off the last mug of hot chocolate. "That was great!"

 **WHAM!**

Sanji smashed the tray on Luffy's head. "SON OF A BITCH! YOU DRANK IT ALL!"

"Hold on… something's coming back…" Miss Valentine said as she scrunched up her face in hard concentration and rubbed her forehead. "Being a Chocolate Lady never paid much… I had to close down my bakery… Being an assassin paid way more… I… I joined Baroque Works because I thought I could use all the money I made to fund a new bakery in Mr. 0's utopia…"

Miss Valentine slipped out of the bed and stood up. She was still wearing Sanji's golden shirt and Nami's white pants. Vivi's white boots and Nami's yellow striped coat were on the end the bed.

The bald blonde stormed up to Sabo, hauled off and slapped him across the face.

 **WHACK!**

"YOU USED ME!" she shrieked. "AS A BATTERING RAM!"

"So you remember Little Garden then…" Sabo realized with his head still twisted to the side.

"You killed my partner…"

"Sorry about that," Sabo apologized.

"Why?" Miss Valentine asked. "We were trying to kill you. And I had just grabbed your junk. Very nice, by the way."

 **CLICK!**

"Like you can do anything with it!" Miss Valentine retorted.

All eyes were suddenly on the bald blonde. "You… know about Bonnie?"

"Just because I lost my memories doesn't mean I'm deaf… or dumb," Miss Valentine replied. "You claimed to have a girlfriend… it wasn't Vivi or Nami… I heard the name Bonnie mentioned a lot… and lo and behold… that's what you call your rifle. I didn't have much else to think about."

"And you're really okay about your partner?" Sabo questioned.

Miss Valentine shrugged. "We weren't that close. He worked well together but he always insisted on keeping things professional. As an assassin your job is to kill your target before they can kill you. Mr. 5 knew the risks. You buried him with his dignity which is more than most assassins get."

"You're taking the head trauma surprisingly well," Sabo commented.

"You concussing me saved my life," Miss Valentine replied. "Not only did you get me off Little Garden but you lived up to your word and got my to a doctor. Otherwise, I would've woken up all alone and been trapped on that island until I eventually died. So… thanks." She leaned in and quickly pecked him on the same cheek that she had slapped.

The Officer Agent spun around and approached Sanji, "You, on the other hand, _didn't_ give me a serious head injury and had no reason to help me… but from the second we met you still treated me like a princess. And… unlike the rifle-guy… you're delightfully single."

Miss Valentine grabbed the surprised cook and kissed him full on the lips.

"Wow…" Sabo remarked. "And it turns out he didn't even need a rifle. Good for you, Sanji."

Luffy suddenly remembered his own first kiss and glanced over at his still sleeping navigator.

Miss Valentine finally pulled away from a bright red Sanji and smiled sweetly at him. "Sanji… thanks for everything. You're a prince."

The emotionally flustered cook gave a barely perceptible twitch that went unnoticed by all the human occupants of the room but then it was gone and he gave the blonde his most charming smile. "Of course, Princess Valentine. If that's the case... just call me Mr. Prince."

 **"Does that mean her memory's come back?"**

Everyone turned to look at the door and spotted a tiny tanuki with a blue nose and antlers 'peeking' in from the doorway. 'Peeking' in that his entire furry brown body was visible except for one hidden eye, ear and antler.

"Hey, that's the tanuki I saw earlier!" Luffy realized.

"I think it's actually some kind of reindeer…" Sanji noted.

"IT'S ADORABLE!" Miss Valentine gushed. "I WANNA HUG IT!"

"DID IT JUST _TALK_?" Sabo exclaimed.

 **KER-CHOW!**

"YAAAAH!" Chopper screamed at the sound of the loud gun-shot and took off running.

"WAIT! DON'T RUN AWAY!" Sabo called after him. "IT WASN'T A BULLET! IT WAS JUST A BLANK!"

The four of them rushed to the door and didn't notice Nami start to stir after Bonnie went off.

 **"And just where do you think you're going?"** Dr. Kureha demanded as she leaned against the door and casually speared a pickled plum out of a jar with a skewer.

"What was that thing just now?" Sanji asked.

"IT TALKS!" Luffy added.

"Is that your assistant?" Sabo inquired.

"SO CUTE!" Miss Valentine shrieked.

"I guess that cat's out of the bag," Doctorine mused. "His name's Tony Tony Chopper and he's just your average blue-nosed reindeer."

 **CLICK!**

"Yeah! Reindeer don't talk!" Sabo objected.

"Well… he _was_ an average blue-nosed reindeer," Dr. Kureha admitted. "Then he ate a Devil Fruit called the Human Human Fruit which allows him to transform into a human. Now he can do everything a human can."

Luffy burst passed the doctor unable to hold himself back, "COME BACK TRANSFORMING REINDEER!"

The ancient doctor was still off balance from the rubber man rushing passed that she left an opening for Sanji and Miss Valentine to slip out after him.

"CHOPPER! I JUST WANNA HUG YOU!"

Dr. Kureha glared after the other three then turned back to Sabo. "I've trained him as my assistant. He's the one who took care of your friend."

"So he's a doctor… and a talking animal…"

 **KER-CHOW! KER-CHOW!**

Doctorine jumped back in surprise. "What is with that gun?"

"Sorry I've never seen her like this before…" Sabo admitted, "But if you'll excuse me…"

 **SKISH!**

Sabo leapt passed Dr. Kureha out the door and joined the chase. "LUFFY! GRAB THAT GUY! HE'S A-"

Sabo looked down the stairs in time to see Chopper transform from a tiny tanuki into a hulking yeti that suddenly sent Luffy flying.

 **WHAM!**

"GET AWAY! I HATE HUMANS!" Chopper yelled.

"I don't think I wanna hug him anymore when he's like that…" Miss Valentine admitted from halfway down the stairs.

"REINDEER! TURN SMALL AGAIN SO THE LADY CAN HUG YOU!" Sanji ordered.

"Don't worry, Bonnie," Sabo assured his rifle-bound girlfriend. "We're definitely recruiting that guy!"

 **KER-CHOW!**

"EEEEK!" the huge hulking monster screamed like a little girl at the sound of the gun-shot and dropped onto all fours as he transformed into an ordinary reindeer and took off running.

Sabo dashed forward and slid down the icy railing, "COME BACK DR. REINDEER! IT WAS JUST A BLANK! I SWEAR I'M NOT GONNA SHOOT YOU! I'VE GOT A PROPOSITION FOR YOU!"

 **SKIIIIISSSSSHHH-SKUSH!**

Luffy sprang back up just as Sabo landed in the snow at the bottom of the stairs. The rubber pirate had stars in his eyes. "DID YOU SEE HIM TRANSFORM? HE'S GOT _THREE_ _FORMS_! THAT'S SO COOOL!"

"We've gotta recruit that guy!" Sabo exclaimed.

"YEAH!" Luffy shouted as the two brothers chased after the terrified reindeer.

"It's way too cold to chase that guy all around the castle," Miss Valentine insisted.

"We could always wait here on the stairs for them to chase him back," Sanji suggested.

"That works…" the officer agent said, "But it doesn't help with the cold." The blonde grabbed the cook's arm and put it around her shoulders. "That's better."

Sanji casually fished out a cigarette and made to light it but Miss Valentine caught his hand.

"Smoke that and I'm not kissing you again anytime soon." The cook grumbled and tossed it away.

* * *

"What's with all the shouting?" Nami wondered as she sat up in bed.

"You're annoying friends are harassing my assistant," Dr. Kureha answered from the doorway as she casually ate a pickled plum off of her skewer. "Normally I'd be chasing them and trying to stop it but the blonde one with the noisy rifle was thoughtful enough to bring along my favorite snack as a bribe. He's fifteen. He's a big reindeer. He can take care of himself."

"So you're…"

"I'm Dr. Kureha," Doctorine introduced herself as she approached the patient's bed. "And you're in my castle at the top of Drum Rock." She left her skewer in her jar and casually pressed her finger to Nami's forehead. "Your fever's down to thirty eight point three degrees. Not bad. Are you happy?"

"But what was…" Nami started to ask but the doctor cut her off when she abruptly grabbed front of Nami's shirt and pulled it up to reveal her stomach… and the purple mark that had been left on it.

"That's what made you sick," Dr. Kureha explained. "It's a prehistoric tick called a kestia. When it's venom enters your bloodstream it causes what we call 'the Five Day Sickness'. It's a period of five days where you suffer through extreme fevers of over forty degrees and inflammation of certain body parts. But those are just the light symptoms. When the bacteria finally finish ravaging the body after the fifth day… the victim always _dies_."

"..." Nami paled when she realized how close she'd been to death.

"Lucky for you, your friends got you here quickly," the ancient doctor continued. "Judging from the bite you're only on your third day. Hee hee hee! But that's what you get for traipsing half naked around a prehistoric island like Little Garden."

Nami's eyes narrowed, "As opposed to walking around a snowy castle in a crop top?"

"Hee hee hee!" Doctorine laughed, "Oh, you're fun. Looking for the secret of my youth?"

Nami sniffed as she glanced down at the doctor's snack, "It's not pickled plums, is it?"

"Of course not!" Dr. Kureha replied rather quickly as she yanked the jar away. "But if your wit's already returning it looks like you'll make a full recovery. Either way, I still need to keep you here under observation for another three days."

"Three days?" Nami repeated. "I can't stay here that long!"

"I know, I know… you're in a hurry," the doctor scoffed. "Your friend with the top hat already mentioned that. But unfortunately for you… there are only two ways a patient leaves my care."

 **FWUMP! Shink!**

Dr. Kureha shoved Nami on her back and held a scalpel to her throat. "Fully cured… or dead! You're not going anywhere, missy! GET IT?"

"Got it…"

"Good!"

* * *

"Here they come again…" Miss Valentine observed. At some point the chocolate lover had migrated from cuddling beside Sanji to actually inside his coat. She was also perched delicately on his lap supposedly in order to 'keep her bare feet out of the snow'. "AW! He's in his cute little form again!"

"Don't worry… I'll catch him," Sanji vowed as he stood up and carefully placed Miss Valentine down next to him. It turns out there wasn't actually any snow on that particular step.

"YAAAAAAAHHH!" Chopper screamed as he came running up the stairs as a tanuki with Luffy and Sabo right behind him.

"REINDEER! STOP RUNNING!" Luffy called out.

"We just wanna talk!" Sabo insisted.

Sanji made to grab the tiny reindeer-human hybrid but Chopper suddenly grew and grabbed onto Sanji's shoulders in his yeti form.

 **SKISH!**

Chopper used his 'human' strength to hurtle himself over the cook's head… then transformed into a reindeer in midair before he landed on the top step.

 **TMP!**

"Did you see that little guy's moves?" Sabo asked eagerly as he leap-frogged Luffy and used his rubber brother to springboard over Sanji's head.

 **BOING!**

"SO COOL!" Luffy gushed as he stretched his arm out and grabbed the railing then swung himself off the stairs, around Sanji and back onto the stairs near the top.

 **WHIING!**

Sanji twitched as he turned and stared after the other three, "Didn't even break their stride…"

"Shall we?" Miss Valentine asked.

"Might as well," Sanji agreed as they dashed up the stairs after the others.

"WAAAAAAAAHHH!" Chopper ran screaming down the hallway to the medical wing and bolted through door into the patient room.

"So that's your reindeer?" Nami asked as she sat up in bed while Doctorine sat nearby still casually eating pickled plums from a jar with a skewer.

"CHOPPER! COME BACK!"

"And there are your friends…" the doctor noted.

All four of Chopper's pursuers skidded to a stop when they saw the navigator sitting up in bed.

"NAMI!"

"Hey guys!" Nami replied with a casual wave. "Why're all of you chasing that cute little reindeer?"

The 'cute little reindeer' was currently hiding under Dr. Kureha's chair in his tiny tanuki form.

"HE'S A TALKING, TRANSFORMING REINDEER WITH THREE FORMS!" Luffy gushed as he waved his arms like a wacky waving inflatable tube man.

"I'm chasing him _because_ he's a cute little reindeer," Miss Valentine admitted. "I just wanna hug him and squeeze him and love him to death!"

"I was chasing him because she was chasing him," Sanji said. "Plus, I've got a recipe for venison that's fit for a queen."

"Gah!" Chopper shrieked as he crawled out from under Dr. Kureha's chair and scurried for the door.

"SANJI!" Miss Valentine scolded Sanji, "We're not eating him! No matter how sweet he looks!"

 **KER-CHOW!**

"YAAAAAAAH!" Chopper screamed and ran out the door.

Sabo glanced at his rifle. "I'm not sure why she's so gung-ho about recruiting him. But he's actually the one who treated you. If we can recruit him as our Ship's Doctor you won't have to stay here for three more days."

"HE'S A DOCTOR!?" Luffy exclaimed. "NOW I'VE _GOTTA_ CATCH HIM!"

The rubber pirate bolted for the door. "LUFFY!" Nami shouted after the Captain.

Luffy stopped. "Yeah, Nami?"

"Thanks for getting me up here."

"Of course, you're my navigator," Luffy casually replied. "I'd be lost without you."

Everyone stared after Luffy as he left the room. Nami's cheeks turned the slightest shade of pink.

"Did _Luffy_ really just say that?" Miss Valentine wondered. "That was actually very sweet…"

"Nami-swan, it fills my heart with joy to see you healthy again," Sanji said. "I'll leave the recruitment to the Captain. In the meantime I'll see about making dinner for everybody."

"Excuse me?" Dr. Kureha objected. "Who gave you permission to use my kitchen?"

"Aw, come on, please?" Miss Valentine pleaded. "Drinking a cup of hot chocolate jogged a bunch of my memories. If I go with him and _actually make_ a batch who knows what it could do?"

"It's an unconventional cure… but I suppose if it works there's no harm in it," Dr. Kureha reasoned. "But you'd better make a cup for me!"

"Of course," Miss Valentine agreed. She quickly slipped on Nami's yellow coat and Vivi's white boots then left the room with Sanji.

"Is something going on with those two?" Nami questioned.

"Yeah… but I'm not sure how serious it is," Sabo answered. "She likes the attention and he likes to give it."

"Statistically… _someone_ has to enjoy that overzealous swooning," Nami noted.

"And here I was thinking you'd be jealous," Sabo remarked.

Nami rolled her eyes then smirked, "And cheat on Luffy? That'd break his big rubber heart." She was pleased to see Sabo flinch at the thought. Good to know she was back in form.

"Rubber?" Dr. Kureha whispered to herself as she idly watched the byplay.

"The ship wasn't the same without you, Nami," Sabo said. "I'm glad you're okay." He made his way to the door. "I'm gonna go help Luffy catch and recruit Chopper so we can get you out of here in a timely manner."

"Sabo…" Nami called after the Quartermaster. "Your girlfriend's some kind of monster."

Sabo stopped in his tracks and glared back at Nami, "What?"

"I thought I saw her when I was sick," Nami told him. "She's not human. Maybe some kind of demon."

"Well… there's gratitude for you," he growled as he turned and stormed out of the room.

"She's got a tail…" Nami quietly added but the rifle-lover was already gone.

"I don't think I even want to know what that was all about," Dr. Kureha mused as she ate another pickled plum. "You pirates sure are an odd bunch."

"Most people just call us crazy," Nami informed her.

"Hee hee hee!" the doctor cackled.

The infamous witches of Drum Kingdom and the Conomi Islands were getting along famously.

* * *

"Can you believe her?" Sabo demanded. "After everything we did to make sure she got here… she goes and pulls that? Not human… that girl's nuts."

 **...Click!**

Sabo stopped and looked down at his rifle. "What's that supposed to mean? Don't let her get to you. We've been over this. You're still a person even if you're trapped in that rifle."

 **Click!**

Sabo stared down at his rifle as if seeing it for the first time. "Wait… you're _not_ human?"

 **KER-CHOW!**

"I think you and I need to have a long overdue talk."

* * *

Wapol, Chess and Kuromarimo stood at the bottom of Drum Rock.

Wapol's huge two-story body was slow and it had taken them a long while to get there on foot.

"We're here, sire," Chess pointed out. "But I don't see how we'll make it to the top with you in your current form."

"There's a simple solution to that problem," Wapol said. " _You two_ are going to climb up." Wapol suddenly lunged and swallowed his two officers.

 **GULP!**

"The royal secret technique… THE MUNCH MUNCH FACTORY!"

 **FISSSHHHH!**

Steam billowed out of the chimney on Wapol's head as his Munch Munch Fruit Powers worked. "THE MIRACULOUS FUSION!"

 **Kreeek…**

The door on Wapol's stomach opened and a tall figure emerged while two voices called out at once.

 **"Drum Kingdom's Strongest Warrior has arrived… CHESSMARIMO!"**

Kuromarimo had been stacked on top of Chess and the two of them had been nailed together by two metal bars that went over their green, blue and gold outfit like suspenders. Now they had two heads and four arms.

 **SHOOOM!**

Wapol shrank back down to his normal form. "Top Hat and his punk friends have pissed me off way too much for me to consider holding back! We're going full-power right from the start!"

Wapol jumped up and hung off of Chessmarimo's back. "Now… climb!"

"Yes, sire!" the fusion warrior agreed. The two lower arms that had once been Chess's pulled out a large bow and slipped in an arrow with a thick rope tied around the shaft then fired it up overhead.

 **CHOO!**

The arrow sank into the side of the mountain stayed embedded there while Chessmarimo grabbed the dangling rope and used used his hold to walk straight up the cylindrical mountain with Wapol hanging off his back.

 **Chunk-Chunk!**

When they reached the top of the rope, Chessmarimo drove Kuromarimo's spiked boxing gloves into the rock face so they could hang there while Chess's arms reloaded and fired the bow and arrow.

 **CHOO!**

"THOSE FOOLS MESSED WITH THE WRONG KING!" Wapol bellowed as they began the long climb.

* * *

Sabo sat down on a desk chair in a small room that looked like a chemist's lab.

"First of all…" Sabo addressed Bonnie Anne as he loaded six new blanks into her. "I want to make it clear that no matter what you are… it doesn't change anything between us. You're still the most brilliant person I've ever met… even if you're not a human person. You and I have been through too much together for something like this to change what we have."

 **KER-CHOW!**

Sabo hugged the rifle to him and kissed the nozzle. "Okay… so not human… I suppose I'll have to guess. Are you a female fishman? A fishwoman?"

 **Click!**

"Mermaid?"

 **Click!**

"Giant?"

 **Click!**

"Are you actually a demon like Nami said?"

 **CLICK!**

"Sorry, I had to ask," Sabo apologized. "You know this is my first time off of Dawn Island. I don't know all the kinds of non-humans that exist in this world."

... **Click!**

 **"AAAAAHH!"** Sabo was distracted when Chopper ran screaming into the room with Luffy chasing him.

"JOIN MY CREW, REINDEER!" Luffy exclaimed as Chopper dove down and crawled under the desk then made a break for the door.

"NO! I DON'T BELONG WITH HUMANS!" Chopper cried out as he ran out of the room.

 **CLICK!**

"Don't worry Bonnie!" Luffy called out as he chased after Chopper, "I'll catch him!"

Sabo blinked and looked back down at Bonnie Anne, "Are you an animal-person like Chopper? Is that why you were so adamant about recruiting him?"

 **KER-CHOW!**

"An animal… okay…" Sabo reasoned. "Now I've just gotta figure out what kind… Um… would you say you're a humanoid animal? Y'know... two legs?"

 **KER-CHOW!**

"Okay… that's a relief. So it doesn't count as bestiality. Wait… humanoid… are you a yeti?"

 **Click!**

"But I'm guessing you have fur though…"

 **KER-CHOW!**

"Any chance you're a reindeer?"

 **Click!**

"Right… that would've been too easy. Um… are you a tanuki?"

 **...Click!**

"You hesitated on that one," Sabo noted. "Does that mean that's the closest?"

 **KER-CHOW!**

"Okay… are you a raccoon?"

 **Click!**

"Are you a dog?"

 **CLICK!**

"Okay... definitely not a dog," Sabo remarked. "Something similar to a tanuki… but not a dog or a raccoon… Now I can't use Chopper for inspiration anymore…"

 **"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?"** Dr. Kureha yelled as she rushed in. "This is a medical ward! It's a place of healing! And no place to be shooting a gun! You're terrifying Chopper!"

"But… I'm not actually shooting her!" Sabo protested. "Look, there isn't a single bullet hole in here. And I swear I'd never shoot Chopper. I'm using blanks!" Sabo pointed Bonnie at his own head and pulled the trigger.

 **KER-CHOW!**

"See? Nothing." Sabo stated as he lowered Bonnie and picked at his ear. "And that was my last one."

"Well… KNOCK IT OFF!" Dr. Kureha snapped. "Your sick friend tells me that you and I still need to discuss the matter of payment."

"She would say that…" Sabo grumbled. "Didn't I already give you those pickled plums?"

"You think that's enough to cover treating a head injury and a near-fatal tick bite?" Doctorine asked. "The plums were a gift. They're the only reason I've tolerated you brats harassing my reindeer. Normally I'd be chasing you and throwing any weapons I could get my hands on. Now pay up!"

"I don't have the kind of money you'd want…" Sabo admitted. "But Luffy once worked out a deal with a shrewd restaurant owner by performing some community service. How 'bout I do the same?"

"What kind of community service?" Dr. Kureha inquired.

"I happen to know that a certain much-despised former King is currently on this island looking to reclaim his throne," Sabo informed her. "Waive our medical fees and I'll ensure that he doesn't."

"How do I know you weren't going to do that anyway?" the doctor countered. "How do I know he's even going to show up?"

"You don't," Sabo answered both questions at once. "But he's bound to show up here eventually. When he does, I'll take care of him and you can keep his castle for yourself without having to worry about the King returning."

"I'm not accepting unless Wapol actually shows up," Doctorine insisted. "Now come with me into the other room so I can make sure you don't run off on me."

"Fine…" Sabo sighed and followed Dr. Kureha and they walked into the patient room just in time to catch Nami sweet talking Chopper.

"So I hear you've been taking care of me..." Nami said. "Thank you!"

"DUMMY! I DON'T NEED THANKS FROM HUMANS!" Chopper shouted… while doing a happy dance. "THAT WON'T MAKE ME HAPPY! JERK!"

"Yeah… I can tell you don't like being thanked," Nami remarked.

"Are you guys really pirates? Do you fly a black flag?"

"Our ship has one," Nami answered. "Do you like pirates?"

"NO! OF COURSE NOT!" the reindeer snapped… with eager stars in his eyes.

"Oh, okay… sorry about that…" Nami said then smirked, "So… do you want to come with us?"

"WAAAAH!" Chopper yelped in surprise, fell to the side and knocked over a bookcase.

"How about it?" Nami pressed him. "It'd really help me out a lot. If I had a doctor on board I wouldn't have to stay here for three more days. And you took such-"

"DON'T BE STUPID!" Chopper yelled. "I'M A REINDEER! I'VE GOT HOOVES! AND A BLUE NOSE! I DON'T BELONG WITH HUMANS!"

 **CLICK!**

"Actually Chopper… you're wrong," Sabo spoke up. "It turns out… you'd fit in on your crew better than you think." Sabo held Bonnie Anne in front of him and patted her barrel. He glanced over at Nami. "Nami… I owe you an apology. You were right. It turns out Bonnie isn't human. She's like Chopper."

"Yeah… well… there was always a chance I was hallucinating," Nami confessed with a shrug. "The bitch hates me anyway so I figured I didn't have much to lose by spilling the beans."

 **CLICK!**

Sabo fully entered the room and knelt down near Chopper with Bonnie in his lap. "See Chopper… like I told you when I first saw you outside the castle. This is Bonnie Anne… she's my girlf-er… mate… and she's a talking animal-person like you. But that doesn't make a difference to me. I still love her."

"THAT'S JUST A GUN! YOU'RE CRAZY!" Chopper shrieked.

"Oh, right, like I haven't heard that one before," Sabo muttered.

 **"THERE YOU ARE, REINDEER!"** Luffy yelled as he ran in through the open door.

"GAAAAH!" Chopper screamed as Luffy dove for him but then he transformed into his reindeer form and leapt over the lunging pirate.

 **SKISH!**

Chopper bolted out the door and down the hallway.

"WAIT! COME BACK!" Luffy hollered as he got back up and chased after Chopper. "COME ON! COME AND BE A PIRATE WITH US! IT'LL BE GREAT!"

Sabo shook his head, "Luffy's recruitment strategy has officially reached a new low…"

"Hee hee hee…" Dr. Kureha cackled from the corner where she'd watched the whole scene play out. "Shame on you, girlie," she scolded Nami. "Trying to seduce my reindeer without my permission!"

"I'm sorry," Nami replied with a smirk, "Did I need your permission to seduce him?"

"Hee hee hee!" Dr. Kureha cackled. "Cheeky little brat. If you want him so bad, you can have him. But I doubt he'll go with you. Chopper's got a scar on his heart that may not ever heal."

 **"I COME BEARING CHOCOLATE!"** Miss Valentine called out as she walked in with Sanji. This time she was the one carrying the tray full of hot chocolate mugs. Sanji had a tray of dinner plates.

"Smells like you raided Chopper's candy stash," Dr. Kureha noted.

"That was his?" Miss Valentine questioned.

"We extracted the chocolate from the candy and melted it down to supply the chocolate for the hot chocolate," Sanji recounted as he handed everyone a plate. He flashed Miss Valentine a proud smile. "She was a natural. It was like her muscle memory just took over instinctively."

"I left a couple mugs in the other room for Luffy and Chopper to find," Miss Valentine stated.

* * *

"AAAAAHHH!" Chopper screamed as Luffy chased him up the stairs.

"YAAAAAAHHH!" Chopper kept screaming as Luffy chased him back down the stairs.

"WAAAAAAAAHHH!" Chopper was still screaming… as _he_ chased _Luffy_ up the stairs.

"Wait a minute…" Luffy and Chopper froze when they realized they were running backwards.

"AAAAAAAAHHH!" Chopper screamed as Luffy chased him down the hallway into the empty 'kitchen'.

Luffy barrelled in but skidded to a stop when he noticed the two mugs of hot chocolate on the table.

 **Skeeesssh…**

"WAIT!" Luffy called out. "Chocolate break!"

Luffy and Chopper both took one of the mugs and started drinking.

"Yummy!" Chopper exclaimed.

"Good, huh?" Luffy questioned. "This one's even better than the last batch!"

"It's like drinking candy!" Chopper remarked.

They each guzzled down their drink.

"Ready to go again?" Luffy asked.

"Yeah… I guess…" Chopper agreed as he put his cup down and took off running again.

Luffy waited two seconds then chased after him, "COME ON REINDEER! JOIN MY CREW!"

"DUMMY! I DON'T BELONG WITH HUMANS!"

And so the chase continued.

* * *

"Anyway, the regular hot chocolate was for them," Miss Valentine recounted. "I found your rum stash and Sanji helped me recreate one of my recipes from my Chocolate Lady days for us older drinkers." Miss Valentine offered Doctorine the first mug. "I call it a Hard Chocolate. Enjoy!"

Dr. Kureha took a sip from her mug while Miss Valentine passed out drinks to Sanji, Sabo and Nami.

"Do I taste plum in there?" Dr. Kureha asked.

"I heard you liked pickled plums so I made yours extra special as a thank you," Miss Valentine told her.

"Well, it smells wonderful," Nami remarked as she sniffed her mug. "Congratulations on getting your memory back." Nami prepared to take a sip but Doctrine snatched it away before she could.

 **Swish!**

"None for you!" the doctor scolded her patient, "You're still in recovery."

"You _really are_ a witch!" Nami complained.

"So…" Sabo prompted, "You were going to tell us about the scar on Chopper's heart?"

Sanji and Miss Valentine shared a look then took a seat together against the wall with their dinner.

"You have to understand that Chopper was an outcast from the day he was born," Dr. Kureha began. "His herd didn't like him because of his blue nose. They made him walk at the back of the group. When he ate the Human Human Fruit he became even stranger and they kicked him out of the herd. He was lonely and wanted friends… so he wandered into a village. But the people there only saw a monster and they shot at him. He didn't belong with the reindeer… he didn't belong with humans… he was the loneliest creature on this island."

"That's awful!" Nami gasped. "Poor Chopper."

"I suppose the story really starts with a Quack named Dr. Hiluluk," Dr. Kureha said as she eyed Sabo's black top hat.

And so while Luffy relentlessly chased Chopper all over Drum Castle… Dr. Kureha told everyone else the story of Drum Kingdom's ultimate outcast Tony Tony Chopper and his history with Dr. Hiluluk the Quack who had adopted the young reindeer, raised him like a son… and taught him how to dream.

Dr. Kureha closed her eyes as she pictured Chopper standing out in the snow waving Dr. Hiluluk's flag. The Quack may have sacrificed himself but Chopper inherited his will.

" _PLEASE! TEACH ME TO BECOME A DOCTOR!_ _ **I'LL**_ _BECOME THE MIRACLE CURE! I'LL BECOME A DOCTOR THAT CAN CURE ANYTHING! BECAUSE… THERE ARE NO INCURABLE DISEASES IN THIS WORLD!"_

" _Call me Doctorine."_

"That's the saddest thing I've ever heard!" Miss Valentine wailed as she sobbed into Sanji's shoulder. "And I used to crush people to death for a living!"

"If he's got your medical expertise and Hiluluk's faith... he's bound to be the best doctor in the world," Sanji realized.

"Well, we'll definitely accept him," Sabo insisted. "I've recently learned that I have a soft place in my heart for talking animals."

"I think we're all hoping that you and Chopper don't get _that_ close," Nami quipped as she casually speared a pickled plum out of a familiar jar.

"YOU LITTLE THIEF!" Dr. Kureha snapped as she snatched back the empty jar. "This is what happens when I open my castle to pirates…"

But suddenly a loud cry rang through the castle.

 **"MOOOOFUUUUN! MOOOOFUUUUN! MOOOOFUUUUUUN!"**

"What the heck was that?" Nami yelped.

"MARSHMALLOW!?" Miss Valentine gasped as she jumped to her feet.

"I told him to stand guard for Wapol," Sabo stated,

 **"DOCTORINE!"** Chopper shouted as he came running in as reindeer. "IT'S WAPOL! HE'S BACK!"

"Sanji! Marshmallow's all alone out there!" Miss Valentine realized.

"Don't worry, I'll save your cow," the cook assured her as he bolted out the door.

Sabo rose to his feet and turned to Dr. Kureha. "Do you want to accept my deal now? Wapol's here."

"So he followed you here," Dr. Kureha realized. "That's how you knew he was coming. How do _I_ know you can actually beat him?"

Sabo smirked, "Because the last two times we faced him… he only survived because we hit him too hard and he got sent flying away before I could finish the job. But you know what they say… third time's the charm. Wapol represents everything I hate in this world. I can't stand conceited privileged royalty like him. To be perfectly honest with you, I'm gonna take care of him either way. But I'd appreciate it if you'd waive our medical fees in exchange. That way I'd have one more reason to tear that tin-plated tyrant limb from limb."

"Alright, fine," Doctorine agreed.

Sabo grinned and slung Bonnie over his shoulder. "Then let's go find him."

Chopper - still in his reindeer form - glanced over at Dr. Kureha then trotted after him. The doctor shook her head and followed her assistant.

But at the last second she turned around and yanked the door shut behind her.

 **THUD! Klick!**

"Hee hee hee!" Doctorine cackled as she pulled her key out of the lock.

"Was that necessary?" Sabo asked.

"I wasn't born yesterday," Dr. Kureha replied. "I'm not going to walk away and leave the door wide opened so the sticky-fingered plum thief can sneak out while my back is turned. She's not leaving until I give her a clean bill of health."

"Chopper, I'm gonna load some new rounds into Bonnie Anne," Sabo announced. "I know you don't like guns but every single one of them has Wapol's name on it. I swear I won't even point Bonnie at you."

Chopper eyed Sabo. "Are you really going to fight Wapol? You're not from this kingdom."

"Ah, that's what's great about being a pirate," Sabo replied as he cracked Bonnie open and loaded six bullets into the rifle. "Pirates are the freest men in the world. They're not bound to any one kingdom and since they're outlaws they don't have to listen to stupid laws made by sad sorry excuses for royalty like Wapol. I think a better question is… are _you_ going to fight Wapol?"

"This kingdom's my home," Chopper stated. "Wapol's the worst thing about it. He can't come back."

"But y'know… going against the county's king means that you're an outlaw," Sabo pointed out, "And if you're going to be an outlaw… why not go all the way and be a pirate too? You've already got a pirate flag flying outside."

"Knock it off!" Chopper snapped. "I'm a reindeer! I don't belong with humans!"

 **CLICK!**

"I'll have you know that our crew loves animals," Sabo told him. "You might not believe me about Bonnie but we've already got a duck on board our ship. We rescued that hippo we rode up here on from Wapol. Luffy befriended an enormous island whale when we entered the Grand Line. And there was also this awesome otter sketch artist we met back in Whiskey Peak. Luffy and I tried to get him and his vulture friend to join our crew. But it turned out they were already someone else's pets."

"I'm not a pet!" Chopper insisted.

"Do you really think Luffy would have spent all that time chasing you around this castle if he wanted you for a pet?" Sabo countered. "He genuinely likes you and wants you to join our crew."

"Speaking of that punk with the straw hat," Dr. Kureha spoke up, "Where is he?"

"He hasn't chased me for a while…" Chopper admitted. "I thought I finally lost him…"

"Knowing Luffy, he's wherever there's trouble," Sabo reasoned. "Which means he's probably outside confronting Wapol." Sabo blinked as that thought registered then he tore down the stairs. "LUFFY! YOU'D BETTER NOT FIGHT THAT STUPID KING! I CALLED DIBS!"

* * *

"We've been locked in…" Miss Valentine noted as she tested the door.

"I guess she didn't want me making a break for it," Nami reasoned.

* * *

A few minutes earlier, Wapol and Chessmarimo had finally reached the peak of Drum Rock.

"ROBSON!" Wapol shouted as he soon as he spotted the White Walkie. "YOU'D BETTER EXPLAIN YOURSELF! HOW DARE YOU BETRAY YOUR KING!"

 **"Oh… so you're the reason this cow was shouting."**

A familiar pirate came out from behind the hippo.

"STRAW HAT!" Wapol exclaimed. "HOW DARE YOU DEFILE MY CASTLE WITH YOUR PRESENCE!"

"I thought this was the witch's castle?" Luffy questioned.

"IT'S _MY_ CASTLE! _I'M_ THE KING!" Wapol yelled. "PREPARE TO DIE!"

"Sorry, I want to but I can't clobber you pests," Luffy replied. "My brother wants to fight you."

 **"DON'T TOUCH THAT COW!"**

Sanji came racing out the front door and skidded to a stop in front of Marshmallow.

"ANOTHER ONE!?" Wapol exclaimed. "BOTH OF YOU PREPARE TO DIE!"

"I'm not here for you clowns," Sanji replied, "I'm just here for my Valentine's cow."

"WHAT?" Wapol yelled. "THAT'S _MY_ HIPPO! YOU PEASANTS _DARE_ IGNORE THE KING!? THAT VIOLATES THE LAW I MADE UP EARLIER!"

"Don't care…" Luffy said. Then he noticed Chessmarimo, "Hey Sanji… wasn't that two-headed guy two guys the last time we saw them?"

"I think so," Sanji answered.

"No doubt you simpletons would be impressed by my magnificent fusion technique!" Wapol gloated. "I used my Munch Munch Factory to combine them together! They were formidable separately… but together they're Drum Kingdom's strongest warrior!"

"WHOA! THAT'S SO COOL!" Luffy exclaimed.

"No it isn't," Sanji snapped, "They're just riding piggyback!"

"Sire, there appears to be a strange flag flying on the tower,"Chessmarimo reported.

Wapol looked up and spotted Dr. Hiluluk's skull and cherry blossom pirate flag.

"WHAT'S THAT WEIRD FLAG DOING FLYING AT MY CASTLE?"

"Oh… right… that pirate flag," Luffy realized as he looked up at the black flag.

"That's Dr. Hiluluk's flag," Sanji stated.

"WHAT'S THAT QUACK DOCTOR'S FLAG DOING FLYING OVER _MY CASTLE?!"_ Wapol demanded. "THAT'S IT! MY FIRST ACT UPON RETURNING TO MY GLORIOUS CASTLE WILL BE TAKING DOWN THAT EYESORE! Munch Munch Shock… ARM CANNONS!"

 **Sha-Shoom!**

Wapol's arms shifted and transformed into cannons. "I'LL TAKE IT DOWN!"

 **BOOOM-BOOOM!**

Wapol's aim rang true and Dr. Hiluluk's miracle flag was blasted off the tower room.

"Well done, sire!"Chessmarimo cheered.

Luffy scowled as he stared up at the now empty roof. "That flag…"

"MY SECOND ACT UPON RETURNING TO MY GLORIOUS CASTLE WELL BE PUNISHING THE TRAITOR!" Wapol shouted as he aimed his cannon arms at Marshmallow.

 **"MOFUUN!"** Marshmallow gasped in alarm.

"Oh no you don't!" Sanji growled as he stood protectively in front the White Walkie.

"Stand aside, peasant!" Chessmarimo as he drew two bows and fired flaming arrows at Sanji. "MARIMO'S SNOW MELTING ARROW!"

 **SKISH!**

Sanji dodged to the side to avoid the flaming arrows but that left Marshmallow wide opened for Wapol.

"ALL TRAITORS WILL BE EXECUTED!" the King shouted.

 **"QUICK DRAW! BURST FIRE!"**

 **KER-CHOW! KER-CHOW!**

The nozzle was blown off of each cannon before Wapol could get off his shot.

"GAAH!" Wapol yelped as his arms returned to normal.

"How many cannons do you even have?" Sabo wondered as he walked out the front door.

"Just the two!" Wapol admitted, "But thanks to my miraculous Munch Munch Fruit Powers I can alter the shape of things that I've eaten. Watch this! Munch Munch Shock… DOUBLE BARREL!"

 **Shoom!**

Wapol's right arm transformed into a cannon. But instead of just one it looked like two cannon barrels melded together. "See? Good as new!"

"You're despicable," Sabo stated. "You have powers that allow you fix things… but instead you only use them to destroy and hoard all the material for yourself."

"I DON'T NEED TO DEFEND MYSELF TO A PIRATE PUNK LIKE YOU!" Wapol snapped.

"Hey Sanji… where'd Luffy go?" Sabo wondered.

"He was just here…" Sanji admitted. "I think he disappeared shortly after the fatass blew up the flag."

 **"He blew up the flag?"** Chopper repeated. He and Dr. Kureha had finally arrived.

Chopper looked up and saw the black flag was no longer flying on top of the tower. Chopper transformed into his hulking human form. "HOW DARE YOU ATTACK THE DOCTOR'S FLAG!"

"I know you!" Wapol realized. "You're the monster that showed up after that imbecilic quack blew himself up! And Dr. Kureha! HOW DARE YOU CLAIM MY CASTLE FOR YOURSELF!"

"I have no interest in this pile of rubble," Doctorine confessed, "That stubborn guy insisted that we make it a memorial to Dr. Hiluluk as his final resting place."

"Well… I looks like everyone that i want dead is all gathered together," Wapol noted.

 **"HEY FAKER!"**

Everyone looked up to see that Luffy had scaled the castle and had tied the flag post back into place with the sleeve of his red winter coat. Dr. Hiluluk's Jolly Roger was flying once more.

"HOW DARE YOU REPAIR THAT FLAG AFTER I TOOK IT DOWN!" Wapol yelled. "YOU'RE DEFYING THE KING OF THE COUNTRY'S WISHES!"

Luffy glared down at Wapol, "A poser like you who only pretended to be a pirate without actually risking your life… COULD NEVER UNDERSTAND THE TRUE MEANING OF A PIRATE'S FLAG!"

"The meaning of that flag?" Wapol repeated. "Mahahaha! Bah! As if there's any meaning behind that stupid pirate decoration!"

"And that's exactly why you're just a lying poser!" Luffy retorted. "This flag isn't something that a fake pirate like you can just wave around as a joke!"

"Oh please!" Wapol scoffed, "You think a King like _wants to_ leave his country and pretend to be a pirate? STOP TRYING TO RAISE THAT EYESORE AND LET IT DIE!" Wapol pointed his double-barreled cannon at the flag. "THIS IS MY KINGDOM! I WON'T ALLOW YOU TO DISGRACE IT BY WAVING THAT DISGUSTING RAG! I'LL KEEP SHOOTING IT DOWN UNTIL IT STAYS DOWN!"

"Luffy!" Sanji called out in warning.

"WATCH OUT!" Chopper shouted.

"YOU DON'T HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO DESTROY THIS FLAG!" Luffy yelled. "A PIRATE FLAG IS A SYMBOL OF CONVICTION!"

Wapol opened fire.

 **BOOOM-BOOOM-BOOOM-BOOOM!**

The smoke cleared and revealed Luffy still standing on top of the tower with Dr. Hiluluk's banner raised over his head.

"See?" Luffy said. "This flag's unbreakable."

* * *

"We found him! We found Dalton!" someone exclaimed.

Dalton's body had finally been dug out of the snow. But he was half frozen and still had three of Chess' arrows sticking out of him.

 **"Let us heal him…"**

Everyone turned to see the Twenty MDs standing nearby with their sterilized gloves at the ready. They'd managed to reattach Wapol's head when Dalton had nearly cut it off. But in exchange, Wapol had abandoned them all here when the avalanche had hit.

"Dalton isn't dead," one of the doctors stated, "His body and vitals are merely frozen. We can treat him."

But the four Straw Hats were there with Carue and their two rams acting as a barricage.

"I thought you said the witch the others went to was the only doctors on the island?" Zoro asked.

"These are the guys that Wapol kept with him," Usopp explained. "Remember? Sabro tried to get Wapol to loan one of them to us. But that jerk refused."

"They work for Wapol… can we trust them?" Ayako wondered.

 **"We're your only hope if you want to save him!"** the twenty doctors chorused.

But then the Twenty MDs began removing their face masks and glasses.

"It's true that we went along with Wapol's ordersl" an old doctor with a mustache admitted, "But we're all still doctors at heart. And as doctors our job is to treat the sick and wounded. Long ago, a certain Quack taught us to never give up hope. This country can't afford to lose more brave fools like him!"

Vivi stared at the doctors then turned and nodded at the others, "I think we can trust them. We can't let Dalton die. He's this country's chance at finally getting a good King."

The Straw Hats stepped aside and the Twenty MDs got to work treating Dalton.

But as soon as his wounds were patched up, Dalton was ready to go after Wapol again.

"WE MIRACULOUSLY GAINED OUR FREEDOM ONLY AFTER THIS COUNTRY WAS DESTROYED! WE NEED TO TAKE CARE OF WAPOL NOW! IF WE LET THIS OPPORTUNITY SLIP AWAY WE'LL ROT FOR ALL ETERNITY!"

* * *

"HE'S INSANE!" Chessmarimo exclaimed as they stared up at Luffy.

"I don't know who this flag belongs to," Luffy confessed. "But this is a flag that's backed by a man's conviction and will! It's not something that you can fly on a whim! A BUMBLING IDIOT LIKE YOU SHOULD NEVER TOUCH THIS FLAG!"

 _"So this is a pirate.."_ Chopper thought to himself.

 _"I love pirates!" Dr. Hiluluk has gushed as he proudly displayed his personal Jolly Roger to Chopper. "They're brave, proud warriors and the seas is full of 'em! One day you should venture out to sea and see them for yourself!"_

 _"He's amazing!"_ Chopper gasped. _"Don't worry Doctor… I'll be brave warrior too!"_ Chopper transformed into his huge human form and charged at Wapol. "HOW DARE YOU SHOOT THE DOCTOR'S FLAG! HE TRIED TO SAVE THIS KINGDOM! HE EVEN TRIED TO SAVE YOU!"

"Oh no you don't!"Chessmarimo called out as he barred Chopper's path to the King.

 **WHAP!**

Chopper collided with Chessmarimo and started angrily grappling with the four-armed fusion man.

"We won't let you lay a finger on his majesty!"

"Grrrrr…" Chopper growled as he struggled against the four-armed man.

"You're quite the curious oddity, aren't you?" Chessmarimo remarked. "I remember you! You're that monster that used to terrify the villagers. The one that Dalton thought. What possible reason could a friendless monster like you have for trying to save this kingdom? ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS!"

"SHUT UP!" Chopper shouted at his two-headed opponent. "I CAN FIGHT EVEN IF DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS! I'LL KEEP FIGHTING FOR EVERYTHING THAT THE DOCTOR BELIEVED IN!"

"I'VE GOT HIM!" Wapol called out as he aimed his double barreled arm at Chopper while his fused henchmen held the reindeer-man in place.

"You've got _nothing_!" Sabo snapped as he jumped up onto Chopper's bulging shoulders then sprang up into the air.

 **SKISH!**

Sabo aimed Bonnie down at Wapol and fired at his cannon arm.

 **KER-CHOW!**

"WAAAH!" The shot blasted a hole straight through the middle of Wapol's arm just as the barrels fired.

 **KA-BOOOOOM!**

Wapol's cannon arm was blown clean off while the recoil from Sabo's shot caused him to flip in the air before he came down and drove both feet into Kuromarimo's face.

 **THWHAM!**

Chessmarimo was sent flying back into Wapol and knocked him over while Sabo landed beside Chopper.

"What's the big idea, Chopper?" Sabo asked. "No friends? I'm your friend. I think you're incredible. Bonnie's your friend too."

"AND YOU'VE GOT ANOTHER FRIEND TOO!" Luffy shouted after using his other sleeve to raise Hiluluk's flag once more. He'd turned his red winter coat into a red winter vest. Luffy grabbed the front of the tower and stretched himself backwards. " _I'M_ YOUR FRIEND!"

 **SHOOOOM!**

Luffy shot himself down from the tower and he slammed into the ground like a meteor.

"GAH!" Chopper shrieked as he shrunk down into his tiny tanuki form. "He's hurt! He needs a doctor!"

"Nope! I'm fine!" Luffy announced as he stood up unscathed. "I'm rubber."

"Rubber?" Chopper repeated.

Sabo smirked, "It means he's a monster. We love monsters on our crew."

"KICK THEIR ASSES!" Luffy cheered. The rubber pirate was barely restraining himself from attacking their recovering enemies. "LET'S SEE WHAT YOU CAN DO, REINDEER!"

"Alright Chopper, how about you let me and Bonnie handle the King," Sabo suggested as he and Chopper stepped passed Luffy, "We'll teach the jerk some manners and bring him to his knees. In the meantime… do you think you can handle the mishmash riffraff that's with him?"

"That guy? No problem," Chopper agreed.

"Great! Go Team Top Hat!" Sabo exclaimed as he held his free hand out to Chopper.

"..." Chopper stared at Sabo's hand perplexed.

"It's a High Five…" Sabo explained. "It's something friends do. You slap it."

"..." the reindeer tentatively reached out and touched his hoof to Sabo's outstretched hand.

"Yeah… we'll work on that," Sabo decided.

"Damn…" Sanji grumbled. "Looks like all the targets have been claimed."

"Didn't you come out there to save that hippo?" Dr. Kureha asked as she looked over at Marshmallow.

"You're right," Sanji realized then glanced at the open castle door behind him. "I should be able to squeeze him through that. Come on Marshmallow… let's get you away from the battle and into shelter."

"YOU DAMN PIRATE PUNK!" Wapol roared as he stood back up. "YOU'RE UNDERESTIMATING ME! I'LL SHOW YOU HOW TERRIFYING MY POWERS CAN BE! MUNCH MUNCH SHOCK… WAPOL HOUSE!"

 **SHOOOOM!**

Wapol once again grew in size until he was two stories high and a chimney coming out of his head, cannons for arms and windows on his chest.

"Idiot," Sabo scoffed, "That just makes you a bigger target… BURST FIRE BARRAGE!" Chopper flinched and covered his ears when Sabo opened fire.

 **KER-CHOW-CHOW-CHOW!**

The three rounds tore chunks off of Wapol's big stone body and blasted him backwards.

"See Chopper?" Sabo asked. "I told you all six rounds had his name on them. Your guy's wide open now."

Chessmarimo scoffed as Chopper approached him. "Do you actually think you can beat me? You're just a stupid animal!"

"MY NAME IS TONY TONY CHOPPER!" Chopper shouted. "THAT NAME WAS GIVEN TO ME BY THE WORLD'S GREATEST DOCTOR! THE DOCTOR MAY HAVE TRIED TO FORGIVE YOU BRUTES… BUT I WON'T! I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR MOCKING HIM!"

"WE DON'T NEED YOUR FORGIVENESS! YOU'LL BE THE ONE BEGGING FOR FORGIVENESS WHEN WE'RE DONE WITH YOU! PREPARE TO DIE, YOU DUMB MONSTER!"

Chopper didn't back down. He calmly pulled out a small yellow ball. "Rumble Ball!"

"Get ready, boys," Dr. Kureha called out to Luffy and Sabo while Sanji struggled to stuff Marshmallow through the castle door behind her. "My little reindeer is going to keep surprising you."

"Oooh… what's that thing?" Luffy asked eagerly.

"My Rumble Ball lasts for three minutes!" Chopper announced. "I'll have to beat you within that time."

"HAHAHAHA!"Chessmarimo laughed mockingly. "Three minutes? You won't be able to beat me at all! Let alone in three minutes!"

"Hear that Bonnie?" Sabo asked. "Three minutes. I'd love to see that."

"THREE MINUTES?" Luffy gushed, "I'd love to see that!"

"Three minutes?" Wapol scoffed. "BAH! _I'd_ love to see that!"

Chopper flipped the yellow ball into his mouth and bit down on it.

 **Chomp!**

"RUMBLE!"

"And just what was that supposed to do?" Chessmarimo questioned as he pulled out two large bows with flaming hairballs on the arrows. "MARIMO'S SNOW-MELTING ARROW!"

But as the fusion warrior used his four arms to fire both arrows at the same time… Chopper transformed into his reindeer form and rushed forward at top speed. **"Walk Point."**

 **SWOOOSH!**

Chopper sped passed the arrows and charged towards Chessmarimo.

"So you can transform? That just means you've eaten a Zoan-type Devil Fruit. That means you have three transformations like Dalton. You're just a reindeer-human."

 **"Heavy Point."** Chopper grew in size and transformed into his yeti form. "NO! I'M A HUMAN-REINDEER!"

"WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE!?" Chessmarimo snapped. "I've seen and memorized all three of your forms! MARIMO'S SUPER SURPRISE QUATRO HAMMERS!" The fusion warrior pulled out massive mallets and wielded one in each hand. "I'VE SEEN ALL YOU CAN DO! YOU'RE JUST A POWER FIGHTER LIKE DALTON!"

 **"Jump Point."** Chopper's bulky body suddenly slimmed down and had two pronounced reindeer legs.

"YOU CAN'T BEAT TWO PEOPLE IN TERMS OF STRENGTH!" Chessmarimo shouted as he lashed out with all four hammers.

 **SKISH!**

But Chopper shot straight up into the air and flew all the way up over the top of Wapol's huge castle.

"WHOOAAAA!" Luffy and Sabo both gasped as they craned their necks to stare up at Chopper.

"WHAT FORM IS THAT?!" Chessmarimo demanded. "I thought your hybrid form was that little tanuki… YOU'RE A FREAK OF NATURE!"

 **"Guard Point."** Chopper curled up into a ball as he dropped out of the sky and his fur grew out to make him look like a big brown furball.

 **WHA-WHOMP!**

Chopper was greeted with two brutal hammer shots as he came down and went bouncing away.

"ANOTHER FORM!? IMPOSSIBLE!" Chessmarimo shrieked.

The brown fur ball stood up on four barely visible legs as Chopper's hybrid head popped out the front. "Your attacks have no effect."

"A ZOAN FRUIT SHOULD ONLY GIVE YOU THREE FORMS!" Chessmarimo insisted. "WHAT ARE YOU!?"

"My Rumble Ball is a special drug that I created to alter the wavelengths emitted by each of my forms. After five years of research I've discovered an additional _four_ transformation points!"

"SEVEN TRANSFORMATIONS!?" Chessmarimo exclaimed. "SO WHAT IF YOU HAVE A FEW EXTRA!"

"Huh… what's with that shining?" Wapol grumbled. He looked over at Luffy and Sabo and was nearly blinded by the bright stars shining in their eyes.

"SEVEN TRANSFORMATIONS!?" the two brothers shouted in perfect sync. "THAT'S THE COOLEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!"

"What's with them?" Dr. Kureha wondered.

"Shut up you guys!" Chopper whined… with a big giddy smile on his face. "Saying stuff like that won't make me happy!"

"I can't believe we're fighting these idiots…" Wapol grumbled as he surveyed the two starry-eyed pirates and the giddy reindeer-monster.

"YOUR EXTRA FORMS WON'T SCARE ME!" Chessmarimo yelled. "YOU'RE ALL SHOW!"

"It's not all show!" Chopper argued, **"Arm Point."**

Chopper was back on two legs but had kept his reindeer head and antlers. The most notable aspect of this form were his huge bulging arms.

Chessmarimo swung his four hammers at the charging Chopper but Chopper met the swing with his big arms and hard hooves.

 **KRUUNCH!**

Chopper's hooves shattered Chessmarimo's wooden hammers and broke straight through them. "Hmph! How's that for show? My 'iron hooves' are hard enough to smash through solid boulders!"

"WHOOOOAAA-HOOOO-HOOOO!" Luffy and Sabo both cheered.

Sanji looked back at his Captain and Quartermaster just as he finished stuffing Marshmallow through the castle door. "If I ever doubted those two were brothers before… that definitely proves it."

"You conceited little freak!" Chessmarimo snarled as he drew new weapons. "KNOW YOUR PLACE! MARIMO'S SUPER SURPRISE… QUATRO AXES! TRY TO SMASH THESE! SNOW-SPLITTING BLADE!"

 **SLISH-SLISH!**

Chessmarimo drove two axes into the ground on each of his sides and created two blade-like shockwaves that rushed towards Chopper.

Chopper covered himself with his huge arms but got two deep gashes on his arms for his troubles.

"Great… now he's wrecking the castle…" Dr. Kureha grumbled as she looked to the side as saw that Chessmarimo's attack had left two deep gouges going through the front of the castle.

"I'LL SLICE YOU TO RIBBONS!" Chessmarimo shouted as he charged Chopper with his four axes. "ALL-DIRECTIONAL SNOW-SPLITTER!"

 **SWISH-SWISH-SWISH-SWISH!**

The fusion warrior lashed out and swung each of his four axes from a different direction. But Chopper cycled through his forms to dodge the blows. He dashed around some with Walk Point and he jumped over others with Jump Point before he shrunk back down into his tiny tanuki form and ran out of range.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THAT CONFIDENCE YOU HAD EARLIER!" Chessmarimo taunted. "YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO BEAT ME IN THREE MINUTES BY RUNNING AWAY!

 **"Brain Point."** Chopper skidded to a stop, still in his original hybrid form. "I wasn't _just_ running away. I've been searching for your weak point. It's time to finish you off!" Chopper brought his hooves together and stared through the diamond shaped hole in the middle. **"Scope!"**

"What's that? Is he gonna shoot a beam?" Luffy asked eagerly. "I wanna see a beam! Beam! Beam!"

"Is that hat cutting of circulation to your brain, boy?" Doctorine wondered.

"Shut up," Luffy retorted petulantly, "Look at how he's holding his hooves! It could be a beam!"

"Luffy… he distinctly said scope," Sabo told him. "You know what a scope is…" Sabo jammed his rifle up against Luffy's face so his brother was staring through Bonnie Anne's scope.

"Yeah! He's scoping so he can fire a beam!" Luffy exclaimed.

"Those idiots are ignoring me…" Wapol growled.

"Did you say you were searching for my weak point?" Chessmarimo questioned. "I'm two men combined as one! I _have no_ weak point! IF ANYONE'S GOING TO BE FINISHING _ANYONE_ OFF IT'LL BE ME FINISHING OFF A STUPID TRANSFORMING REINDEER-FREAK THAT CAN'T EVEN ATTACK!"

"Found it!" Chopper announced as his scope zeroed in on Chess's chin. "His chin."

"RAAAAH!" Chessmarimo charged Chopper and swung his four axes all at once.

But Chopper shifted into his Jump Point form and leapt over all four attacks.

 **SKISH!**

"Where'd he go?" Chessmarimo wondered as Chopper landed behind him.

Chopper's arms bulked up as he transformed into Arm Point. Chessmarimo turned into a big uppercut. "CLOVEN ROSEO!"

 **WHAAAM!**

Chess's chin shattered as Chopper's 'iron hoof' smashed into it and sent the fusion warrior into the air.

"CHOPPER! CHOPPER! DON'T STOP!" Sabo called out eagerly. "THAT'S ONLY SIX! WE WANNA SEE THE SEVENTH FORM!"

"YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!" Luffy chanted. "TRANS-FORM! TRANS-FORM! TRANS-FORM!"

The lonely reindeer's reservations were no match for the enthusiastic cheering and peer pressure. Chopper dropped onto all fours as the fur on his back thickened and his short antlers grew into a huge rack. **"Horn Point."**

Chopper caught his unconscious opponent on his massive rack of antlers then chucked him back up into the air.

 **WHISH!**

Chopper transformed into Jump Point and rocketed up after Chessmarimo.

 **SKISH!**

Chopper's arms grew as he went back into Arm Point then lashed out with booth hooves at once. "CLOVEN DIAMOND!"

 **WHAAAAM!**

A diamond-shaped indent was left on Kuromarimo's head as he plummeted back to the ground.

"Three minutes!" Chopper concluded as he landed lightly on his feet and shrunk back down to his tiny Brain Point form while Chessmarimo slammed down to the ground next to him.

"WHOOOAAA!" Luffy shouted. "THAT WAS AWESOME!"

"LUFFY!" a starry-eyed Sabo exclaimed. "Don't you dare leave this island without recruiting Chopper!"

Chopper blushed sheepishly while doing a happy dance. "Crazy jerks! Saying that's not gonna make me happy!"

Wapol sneered and pointed his cannon arm at the two transfixed brothers and fired. "DIE, YOU FOOLS!"

 **BOOOM!**

 **SKISH!**

Luffy smirked as he jumped out of the way and heard the cannonball explode behind him. "Nice try!"

"I haven't lost yet!" Wapol shouted. "I've still got a vault full of weapons in the castle! MAHAHAHAHA!"

Wapol made a mad dash passed Dr. Kureha into the castle.

"Hey Sabo! That fat guy's getting away!" Luffy called out.

 **"Bonnie…"**

Luffy went stiff at the weak voice then whirled around to see his brother on the ground behind him.

Sabo was clutching a broken rifle to his chest.

* * *

I warned you!

Now if you'll excuse me I'll just be hiding in my bunker surrounded by landmines for the next two weeks.

Silver signing off


	34. Bonnie Anne

_**BROTHER ON BOARD**_

yuzukikuran476 - She lived a good life... or not. She's been trapped in a rifle for the last two years. But Sabo made it a little bit better.

BillCiTheDemonGuy - I wanted to have a bunch of funny moments to set up for the dramatic shift in tone at the ending. Breaking the rifle won't free Bonnie. Otherwise Sabo would have tried that a long time ago. She's dying.

ProtoPhinbella - Start digging a hole and prepare a tombstone. Sabo's already killed people for less. It's safe to assume that the tin tyrant won't survive the chapter.

TheVampireDragon - Breaking the rifle doesn't free her. I don't think Nami and Bonnie could get along in the same room for a few hours... let alone the same body.

Guest - The rifle is broken and now she's dying.

Kid - Sorry...

The Keeper of Worlds - I figure Sanji's life is so horrible that I'd throw him a bone and let him have a few moments of happiness with a woman who actually appreciates his attention and over-the-top swooning.

starelight - Not to toot my own horn but I think _this_ is my best chapter ever. Bonnie was blasted by Wapol's cannonball while she, Luffy and Sabo were all distracted watching Chopper transform.

The Patient One - I'd assume that being patient comes with the territory when that's your penname. And as for Wapol... there's an armory in the castle and there's no kill like overkill.

EnixFairy - Sabo's certainly killed people for less. Killing his girlfriend is a perfect excuse.

Babyuknowme13 - I think it's even more surprising when you consider that the Drum Kingdom Arc is usually just a throw away arc that they used to recruit Chopper on the way to Alabasta. I'd like to think that I made it more significant.

Bluejay Blaze - If they did it was unintentional. I have never seen Tales of Vesperia. Is there a specific moment that you have in mind that I'd be able to look up in order to understand the reference?

TheREALMightyKamina - Remember Sabo's rage from when Nami accidentally kidnapped Bonnie? Yeah... that's nothing compared to this. Let's just say that Sabo will be leaving Drum Kingdom a changed man.

Dr. Zenkai - What most people gloss over where Purin Purin is concerned is that Kuro slaughtered the Branch 77 Marines while creating a distraction for Buggy and Alvida to free Arlong. I'll state here, that yes, he did survive the injuries he incurred from Kuro's attack but a large portion of his men didn't. The Munch Munch Fruit isn't that much of a tweak. He chews up objects and reforms them as part of him. He can already fuse _people_ together (sort of) so why not objects? I wanted Wapol to come across as more of a threat so I had him use his best abilities early on.

Johnny Spectre - Yeah... about that...

OrangeFrito - Bonnie is not a cat. She knew one really well at one point... but two years trapped inside a gun can strain any relationship.

UnderTakerxXxMadnesS - If you're reading up to this point... yes, he does. It won't come into play until much later. But I'd like to state plainly it is NOT Bonnie Anne.

luvBonnieAnne - I was worried about your reaction the most. It turns out I was right to be. And I'm really glad that you don't know where I live. The hardest part of attacking the bunker surrounded by landmines is _finding_ the bunker surrounded by landmines. But if it'll make you feel better... cue up _Overtaken_ or another inspirational One Piece song and start playing it the moment Vivi punches Sabo.

Miqila - A fox Mink? That would be a safe guess. But I'm not going to say whether or not it's a _correct_ guess. Good thing you don't know where my bunker is.

ASSASSINEZIO - But I warned you! I warned you after the cliff hanger from the Dalton chapter that the one for the next chapter would be even worse!

Fairy of the Friz - The Big Bonnie Reveal is coming this chapter. But an emotional roller coaster is coming along with it. I know Sanji was pretty good at keeping his heritage hidden but I decided to play around more with it. Funnily enough, someone actually noticed all his subtle reactions.

Maximusace9 - I don't know if you're still reading but I disagree with the concept of a Mizu Mizu no Mi out of principle. Water is a Devil Fruit User's main weakness. It wouldn't make sense for there to be one where the user can control and turn into something that weakens them.

Roaming-Guardian - I like my Monday update schedule. I thinks it's good when an author can be consistent with their updates. The good news is that I've been dying to write this chapter for ages. I already had it mostly written out in my head so I finished it _way_ ahead of schedule.

Ranger Station Charlie - For sheer brightness I'd go with Luffy and Sabo since it's all coming from their eyes. The youth sunset is larger and much more horrifying. Keep your eyes peeled for the Naruto reference.

rasEnshur1KEn - You made it in time. In the cover story Miss Goldenweek's Operation Meet Baroque Works, Miss Valentine's dream is being a Chocolate Lady. I don't know what that is so I went with a baker of chocolate treats. Fourth wall breaking can be fun I want to stay away from that unless I"m making references.

* * *

 **Bonnie Anne-**

A fifteen year old Luffy carried a long wooden crate over to an eighteen year old Sabo.

"Sabo! You got a present from Ace!" Luffy called out. "It was delivered to Makino's place."

"Looks like he found it," Sabo said with a wide grin as he took the crate from Luffy.

"What'd Ace find?" Luffy asked as he peered over Sabo's shoulder as he opened the box.

"Ah! She's gorgeous!" Sabo gushed as he pulled a long rifle out of the box.

"What's that? Some kind of gun?" Luffy asked.

"This isn't _just_ a gun, Luffy," Sabo told him. "This is an Advanced Wheel-Lock Rifle with an added scope and custom revolving action!"

Luffy blinked. "But what about your pipe?"

"I'm trading up," Sabo said as he dropped his old pipe into the rifle's crate and continued to admire his new weapon. "I was nearly killed by one of those damn World Nobles wielding a rifle. Now _I'm_ going to use this beautiful creature to accomplish my dream."

* * *

"Okay…" Sabo resolved as he and Luffy brought the new rifle out into a clearing in Midway Forest. "I got a box from my ammo collection. Let's see what this baby can do."

Luffy watched as Sabo cracked opened the rifle and prepared to load it.

"Oh… she's already got a couple of rounds in here," Sabo noted. "I'll use these first, I guess."

Sabo raised the rifle and aimed at a tree using the scope… then he pulled the trigger.

 **Click!**

Luffy stared at his brother. "Is something supposed to happen?"

"OH! How stupid of me!" Sabo realized. "The safety switch is on!" Sabo quickly flicked the switch. "That'll do it!"

 **KER-CHOW!**

The rifle fired on its own and smacked Sabo in the face with the recoil.

 **THUD!**

Sabo fell to the ground with a welt under his eye. "Wow… this girl's got kick!"

"Is it supposed to do that?" Luffy asked.

 **KER-CHOW!**

The rifle shot off another round and this one hit Luffy straight in the chest.

 **Zat!**

The round sparked but the rubber man was unharmed.

"HEY! IT JUST SHOT ME!" Luffy exclaimed.

 **KER-CHOW!**

Another round was fired all on its own and struck Luffy between the eyes.

 **Zat!**

Again, the bullet sparked but the rubber man was immune to the electricity.

"SABO! YOUR RIFLE'S TRYING TO KILL ME!" Luffy complained.

"I've never seen that happen with a rifle before," Sabo said, "Maybe those rounds were screwy?"

Sabo pulled out his bullet box.

"Sabo… are you actually putting in _more_ bullets?" Luffy asked warily.

"What do you care?" Sabo countered. "They can't hurt you."

"I still don't like being shot at!" Luffy insisted as he moved behind Sabo. "That rifle's what's screwy!"

"No… it's just gonna take some getting used to," Sabo decided as he slid six new bullets in the rifle. "I've waited too long to get one of these. I'm not gonna abandon it at the first sign of trouble."

Sabo snapped the rifle closed and prepared to fire again.

 **KER-CHOW!**

The rifle went off on its own and once again smacked Sabo in the face with the recoil.

 **THUD!**

Sabo was left sprawled out on his back with a matching welt under his other eye.

The rifle took advantage of Sabo's prone position and fired a series of shots at Luffy.

 **KER-CHOW-CHOW-CHOW!**

The three bullets struck Luffy dead on in the chest... and then bounced off.

 **BA-BA-BOING!**

The ricocheted rounds embedded in the ground around Sabo.

"SABO! I THINK SOMETHING'S IN THERE!" Luffy called out in alarm. "AND WHATEVER IT IS IT'S PISSED!"

"You probably didn't help yourself with that 'screwy' comment," Sabo idly remarked as he sat up. "She's just scared…"

"How do you know it's a girl?" Luffy asked.

 **KER-CHOW!**

"GAAH!" Luffy yelped in alarm rather than pain as a bullet bounced off his face.

"Well, that's righteous indignation if I've ever seen it," Sabo observed as he stroked the rifle's side. "Hey… easy… it's okay… no one's gonna hurt you… That's just Luffy… He ate something called a Devil Fruit. It turned his body into rubber. Don't worry… he's harmless."

The rifle had gone silent.

"Sabo… I don't think you should be messing with her," Luffy warned him.

"Are you kidding?" Sabo replied as he stood up, "Did you notice that every single one of those shots she landed on you was a kill-shot? That's the kind of accuracy I need."

Sabo stared down at the weapon, "You can hear me, right, Miss rifle-dwelling-person?"

 **Click!**

"Great," Sabo said, "Okay… look. We obviously got off on the wrong foot. My name's Sabo and that's my younger brother Luffy. Um…this is an unusual situation… but… are you _trapped_ in that rifle?"

 **Click!**

"Was it something that happened recently?"

 **Click!**

"See Luffy?" Sabo asked. "She's not in there by choice. And the first person she met was a crazy rubber monster. I'd be scared too if I was in her position." Sabo looked back down at the rifle. "Um… I'm not sure how exactly to ask your name…"

 **KER-CHOW!**

The rifle recoiled again. But instead of rearing backwards and smacking Sabo in the face it shot straight back and drove its handle into his stomach.

"UUGGH!" Sabo groaned as the wind was knocked out of him.

Sabo pulled the handle out of his gut and stared at it. "Oh… there's something carved here... 'B.A.'."

"BA?" Luffy repeated. "What kind of name is Ba?"

"They're initials Luffy," Sabo explained as he pulled out a new batch of bullets. "Why don't we just ask her?" Sabo loaded the rifle and snapped it closed. "Okay, first question… is this _your_ rifle?"

 **Click!**

"Okay… so those are your initials," Sabo realized. "Hmm… Ba… ba-ba-ba… OH! That reminds me of a song! _Ba ba ba ba Barbara Anne_! Is your name Barbara Anne?"

 **KER-CHOW!**

 **THUD!**

 **Click!**

"I'll take that as a maybe…" Sabo groaned from the ground.

"What song was that?" Luffy inquired.

"I don't know… I heard some boys singing it on the beach," Sabo answered as he stood up again. "I'm taking the throwing as a 'no' and the 'clicking' as yes. But since you did both I assume I'm half right."

 **Click!**

"Great… is your name Barbara?"

 **KER-CHOW!**

 **THUD!**

"Uggh… well… it was a fifty-fifty shot…" Sabo mumbled as he staggered back up. "Is it Anne?"

 **Click!**

"Okay, Anne, nice to meet y-"

 **KER-CHOW!**

 **THUD!**

"Not just Anne then…" Sabo realized as he laid flat on his back. "B… Anne… something like that?"

 **Click! Click!** **CLICK!**

Luffy closed his eyes and seemed to recite, " _'It's Bonnie... Bonnie Anne… This is gonna take forever…"_

"What?" Sabo asked.

"What?" Luffy echoed as he opened his eyes.

Sabo looked down at the rifle, "Is your name Bonnie Anne?"

 **Click!**

"WAIT!" Sabo exclaimed, "LUFFY! Did you just understand her?"

"I don't know," Luffy answered with a shrug. "Maybe. I don't know how but I think I heard her."

"Can you do it again?" Sabo requested.

 **KER-CHOW!**

Luffy leaned to the side to avoid the bullet and shook his head. "Nothing."

"Damn… that would've actually been convenient," Sabo grumbled. "And I'd like to point out that she didn't throw me that time."

 **KER-CHOW!**

 **THUD!**

"Cheeky…" Sabo muttered as he got back up. For as many times as the rifle had smacked him and thrown him around, he was still undeterred. "Listen… _Bonnie Anne_ … I'll make a deal with you. You're stuck in a rifle… and I'm in need of a good one. Luffy and I are going to set sail as pirates in two years' time. We're heading for the Grand Line. My brother Ace… you probably met him… he's the one who sent you to me... "

 **CLICK!**

"I don't think that encounter went much better than this one," Luffy commented.

 **Click!**

"Still nothing," Luffy reported with a shake of his head.

"Anyway, Ace said in a letter that anything's possible in the Grand Line," Sabo explained. "You've seen Luffy's powers… I bet if we looked hard enough we could find someone that can get you out of that rifle. If you agree to partner up with me and help me out… I promise I'll make it my top priority to find them and free you. All I ask in exchange is that you help me take out some scumbags that live in the Grand Line."

 **KER-CHOW!**

 **THUD!**

"' _I'm not your killer...'_ " Luffy seemingly recited.

Sabo looked over at Luffy then back at the obstinate rifle in his arms.

"What's that supposed to mean!?" Sabo argued. "You'll fire half-a-dozen kill-shots at my brother but you won't help me shoot some bastards that actually deserve it!?"

Truthfully, Luffy was surprised by the whole ordeal. Sabo could usually talk anyone into anything. But here he was arguing with a rifle… _and losing_.

"I'm gonna leave you two alone," Luffy decided as he turned and dashed off before Sabo gave the rifle any ideas.

* * *

Luffy occasionally took breaks from his own training in order to check in with Sabo and Bonnie Anne. He made sure to watch from the trees on the edge of the clearing in order to avoid becoming an unwilling target for the angry rifle.

Luffy loitered nearby in the hopes that he could hear the rifle's voice again. But thus far everything he'd heard had been angry complaints and insults.

"I swear these guys are really bad news!"

 **KER-CHOW!**

 **THUD!**

"' _...stubborn dolt…'_ " Luffy repeated. " _'...don't know them…'_ "

Every time Sabo fired the rifle, he was thrown on his back by the recoil and his bullet would sail wide of whatever was targeting. Luffy had never seen his brother take a beating from anyone like he was from Bonnie Anne. Not even Ace! Because in those fights Sabo at least got in his own offense. These 'battles' had been completely one-sided for months. Sort of like when _he_ fought Ace.

But as with that first day, every time Sabo was thrown he got back up. He never gave up.

Luffy was sure that even Bonnie Anne was secretly impressed with Sabo's determination.

They'd been at this for months. Now it had become a battle of wills. Sabo didn't want to give up on his chance at having a weapon he could use to take out the Celestial Dragons. And from what Luffy had managed to hear from Bonnie Anne… she was refusing to play a part in the murder of people that she didn't know.

This had become the routine now. Sabo spent the majority of the morning being thrown around by Bonnie Anne as he tried unsuccessfully to master the rifle. Then he'd slip off at some point in the late afternoon and come back with more bullets. Luffy learned after the first few days that Bonnie Anne wasn't above taking cheap shots so Sabo always made sure to leave the rifle unloaded or with the safety switch on.

But this was the day where everything changed. And it all started with the tiger attack.

Wait a minute…

" **GRRRRAAAAAAHHH!"**

A huge tiger came charging out of the trees at Sabo as he was getting back up.

 **KER-CHOW!**

"' _Look out…'_ " Luffy repeated.

Sabo turned and grinned when he saw the ten meter long tiger racing at him. "Oh… dinner."

Sabo stood up, twisted and smashed his rifle into the oncoming tiger's face.

 **WHAAAM!**

The huge tiger went flying back out of the clearing the way it had come.

"And he's outta here!" Sabo cheered. He looked down and grinned at Bonnie Anne. "Hahaha! I figured that'd work considering how many times you've slapped me around. But that doesn't mean other pirates won't make fun of me if I use a rifle like its a stick!"

Sabo slung the rifle over his shoulder and turned to follow the tiger. "HEY LUFFY! I FOUND DINNER!"

 **KER-CHOW!**

The branch he was perched on dropped out from under him. Luffy quickly curled into a ball.

 **BOING-FWIP!**

Luffy bounced off the ground then flipped through the air and landed on his feet beside Sabo.

"Wow… that was even faster than normal," Sabo remarked.

It looked like only Bonnie Anne had known that Luffy was lurking nearby.

"Come on, Luffy! It went this way!"

They ran off after the tiger but were disappointed to find that it had landed in the river.

"The crocodiles are gonna get it!" Luffy realized as the scaly reptiles closed in around the tiger. "I hate crocodiles…"

"Not if I have anything to say about it!" Sabo growled, "Damn kill stealing crocs! They should know by now that _we're_ the top of the food chain in this forest!" Sabo shoved Bonnie Anne into Luffy's chest. "Hold her for me. I'm going in."

Sabo threw off his blue coat and black gloves then tossed his waistcoat on top of it. He undid his dress shirt and added it to the pile.

 **KER-CHOW!**

"OOF!" Luffy was thrown backwards, hit the ground and bounced off of it.

 **Thoing!**

"' _What the bloody hell is that'_..." Luffy repeated as he sat up. "I think she's talking about your scar."

 **CLICK!**

Luffy didn't hear her that time but got the feeling that he'd just been insulted.

"Oh that…" Sabo said as he cast a glance down at the burn scar that covered his side and back as he removed his boots. "I got that from one of the guys that I'm hunting. I was ten. I nearly died. All I did was sail passed his ship while I was trying to escape the island. He fired a rifle at me, my boat exploded and now I'm scarred for life." He turned to fully face the rifle in Luffy's arms.

"I told you they were bad news. They're called the Celestial Dragons. They're the descendants of the original twenty kings that founded the World Government. But they abandoned their kingdoms a long time ago. Now they walk around wearing bubble suits because they don't want to breathe the same air as everyone else. When I tell you these people are the scum of the earth that's because they're the sorriest excuses for human life to have ever existed. And whether you agree to help me or don't I'm going to hunt them down and make the world a better place by removing them from it."

"Now if you'll excuse me," Sabo said as he turned back to the river and dove in, "GIMME BACK MY TIGER, YOU SWIMMING PURSES!"

 **SKISH! SPLASH!**

Luffy stared after Sabo as he heard the sounds of a fight picking up.

 **KER-CHOW!**

"' _Help him…'_ " Luffy repeated. "I can't swim because of my Gum Gum Fruit Powers. I couldn't swim _before_ I got my powers either. But Sabo will be fine. His claws are sharper than that tiger's and those crocs' put together."

Luffy looked down at the rifle. "Y'know… I think it's time you and I had a talk."

 **CLICK!**

Luffy shook his head. "I still can't hear you all the time though. So _I'll_ talk." Luffy cast a glance back at the river. "You've seen his scar now. It's been eight years and he's still really angry about what happened to him. Whenever someone mentions nobles or royalty or those bubble-heads it brings out that ugly side of him. I saw you warn him about that tiger... so I'm pretty sure you don't hate him anymore. He needs someone like you to look after him and make sure he doesn't go too far."

The rifle was silent.

Luffy shook his head. "At first Sabo didn't like me very much. But he's a great guy. I could use a good shot like you on my pirate crew... and to keep an eye on him. When we set sail I'm gonna find the One Piece and become King of the Pirates. You can come along and we'll get you out of that gun. I'm not asking you to be his best friend or anything… just give him a chance. He might surprise you."

... **Click...**

"You know… it would be easier to understand you if you didn't talk so funny!"

 **KER-CHOW!**

Luffy was thrown backwards again and bounced across the forest floor.

* * *

That night they made a big campfire and ate the tiger. Sabo had a leg and Luffy had everything else. Somehow they still finished at the same time.

Luffy was munching on one of the crocodiles that Sabo had brought back for dessert when he heard his brother talking with Bonnie Anne while he rested by a tree.

"You've been quiet for a while now," Sabo noted as he looked down at the rifle in his lap. "Did seeing my scar upset you? I'm sorry I went off on you like that. You're not my enemy. Thinking about those guys brings out the worst part of me. But it's just… that Celestial Dragon… Saint Jalmack… no one batted an eye after what he did. He murdered a ten year old kid in front of a harbor full of witnesses and no one did anything about it. It's the same with all the other ones. They keep slaves, they kill people, they tear families apart… and no one does anything. All because of something their ancestors did. It's disgusting. And I won't let it go on."

"There's a reason I haven't told you who they are until now," Sabo continued, "Just mentioning the thought of going after those spoiled obnoxious twats is considered high treason. If anyone in the World Government caught wind of what I'm planning to do… the Marines would send out one of their strongest officers to come and cut my head off. How's that for justice? They get away with murder... and I get executed for just thinking about it. You know one of my biggest secrets now Bonnie Anne. I'm gonna trust you to keep it."

Sabo frowned, "But now I realize that you don't have a choice. You're stuck in a gun. I can't imagine how horrible that is for you. You can't move on your own… you can't talk… you can throw me around from dawn til dusk but that doesn't change your situation. I'm not gonna force you to do something you won't want to do. That would make me just as bad as them. But we can't work together if we don't trust each other. And so far I haven't really given you a reason to trust me. That changes now. Bonnie Anne… I swear to you… no matter what happens… I'm gonna get you out of that gun."

 **KRACK!**

Luffy watched as Sabo broke something off of the side of the rifle and tossed it away.

"From here on out… I'm going to trust you to fire when it's important," Sabo resolved. "Now… let's see if the rifle still works after I tore off that stupid safety switch…" Sabo stood up and aimed Bonnie Anne at a tree on the other side of the clearing.

 **KER-CHOW!**

Not only did Sabo remain standing on his feet… but the bullet tore a chunk out of the tree's trunk.

"Wow! I actually hit what I was aiming at!" Sabo exclaimed.

"WOW! HE ACTUALLY HIT WHAT HE WAS AIMING AT!" Luffy cheered.

 **CLICK!**

Sabo smiled down at the rifle and stroked its side. "Thanks Bonnie. Thanks for giving me a chance."

"Shishishishi!" Luffy laughed to himself. Just like that he knew everything was going to be okay.

* * *

Everything was way better than okay. As the months passed Sabo and Bonnie became inseparable. Sabo carried the rifle everywhere and spent a lot of time to talking to her. Sometimes he'd even just carry her around the island and play tour guide.

Sabo got to be a much better shot. Bonnie still threw him around sometimes and she still took shots at Luffy. But it was usually only when he said something stupid or called her anything other than 'Bonnie'. There had been the week when she'd used half of Sabo's ammo supply shooting at Luffy for calling her 'Anne'. All the while shouting at him and calling him 'backwards'. And then there was that one really bad day where she'd used Sabo's _entire_ ammo supply when he'd called her 'Annie'. After that, Luffy had decided to drop the 'Anne' part of her name and just called her Bonnie like Sabo did.

Luffy hadn't made much headway in understanding the rifle. He still could rarely understand anything she said. But after spending nearly a year around her he found he could 'feel her'. He could sense she was there and could even sense her mood. When she was in a bad mood, Luffy knew to make himself scarce unless he wanted to face a hail of bullet-fire. But he found that when Bonnie was with Sabo, she was usually in a good mood. And because she was almost always with Sabo that meant she was almost always in a good mood.

Even the mountain bandits had noticed Sabo's closeness with his rifle when they visited.

"Hey Sabo!" Dadan called out on one of the days where she'd been drinking a lot. "With the way you carry around that rifle… it's almost like you're dating it!"

"Too bad he doesn't take care of it properly…" Dogra muttered. "Talk about a dirty rifle."

 **WHUMP!**

Sabo suddenly had Dogra pinned on the ground with Bonnie's barrel stuffed in the bandit's mouth. "Insult her again! I dare you! I'll prove to you that I take great care of Bonnie!"

"Mmmffmmm!" the bandit mumbled.

"Sabo! Easy! Easy!" Magra called out. "He didn't mean anything by it! It's just that it's clear how much you use that rifle. There's fingerprints all over it and some dirt."

"I clean her everyday," Sabo insisted.

"Stupid brat," Dadan grunted. "What that rifle needs is a good polishing!"

"Polishing?" Sabo repeated as he finally pulled Bonnie Anne out of Dogra's mouth. "I guess I'll give it a shot. Come on, Bonnie. Let's go get some rifle polish."

Luffy watched them leave. "Maybe she'll stay clean now that she's stopped throwing him as much."

Of course, none of the mountain bandits could have known that they'd just set into motion another big change in Sabo and Bonnie's relationship.

But it all started with 'the Polishing Incident'.

Luffy returned to the tree house that day and was greeted by a bullet blasting through the roof.

 **KER-CHOW!**

Bonnie knew better than to shoot in the tree house so Luffy climbed in to check it out.

He walked into a room that smelled strongly of polish and found Sabo sitting on his bed staring down in surprise at the very shiny rifle in his lap. Luffy sensed a strange feeling coming from Bonnie Anne. She wasn't happy… she wasn't angry… she felt… shame… and not tired... 'spent'. Both emotions were foreign to him.

"Bonnie… you okay?" Sabo asked.

 **Click… Click...**

"' _You could've at least bought me dinner first…'_ " Luffy repeated. "Why's she talking about food?"

Sabo's face flushed and he clutched the rifle to his chest. "LUFFY! AVERT YOUR EYES!"

Luffy whipped around to stare at the wall. "What's going on?"

He was ignored.

"Bonnie… did you just…"

 **KER-CHOW!**

"' _Don't wanna talk about it…'_ " Luffy repeated as he looked over at the new bullet hole in the wall. "Why doesn't she want to talk about it? What's the matter with her? Is she hurt?"

He was ignored again.

"Was it at least good for you?"

 **...Click…**

"Well… this is awkward…" Sabo remarked. "But really there's only one gentlemanly thing to do in a situation like this. Eh-hem! Bonnie Anne… will you go out with me?"

Luffy wasn't sure what that meant. But he _was_ sure that he'd be ignored again if he asked.

Bonnie was silent for a moment but then finally answered.

... **Click!**

"Really? Great!" Luffy could hear the wide smile in Sabo's voice. "Um… let's go do something then…"

Luffy decided now was the time to turn around. "What just happened?"

"Bonnie and I are going out on a date," Sabo answered as he walked passed.

"What's a date?" Luffy asked. "Can I come?"

Sabo stopped, "A date is a special outing that a girl and a guy go on together. Most of the time it's so they can spend time _alone_ and get to know each other better. That means no kid brothers allowed. See ya later tonight Luffy! We'll be home late!"

Luffy didn't know what happened on the 'date' but he knew something had changed between them.

Late that night, Luffy felt Bonnie before he saw her. The sheer happiness that he felt coming off of the rifle-bound woman was like a beacon in the dark night. Luffy instantly knew the direction they were coming from.

He could easily tell that Sabo was extremely happy too. Sabo's happiness was even easier to read because not only was Luffy able to hear him before he saw him… but he was _singing_.

" _You're just too good too be true_

 _Can't keep my eyes off of you_

 _You'd be like heaven to touch_

 _I wanna hold you so much…"_

Sabo started climbing up to the tree house as he continued to sing the unfamiliar song.

" _At long last love has arrived_

 _And I thank God I'm alive_

 _You're just too good to be true_

 _Can't take my eyes off you..."_

"HEY LUFFY!" Sabo greeted him as he walked in with Bonnie slung across his shoulders and a wide smile going across his face.

"Hey… what song was that?" Luffy asked.

"Oh, we went to this club in Edge Town and saw 'Frankie of the Valli' performing," Sabo answered. "It's called 'Can't Take My Eyes Off You'. We both liked it so we decided it would be 'our song'."

"What's that mean?" Luffy questioned. "You can claim songs?"

"It means Bonnie and I are dating now," Sabo explained. "She's my girlfriend and I'm her boyfriend."

Luffy scratched his head. "What's a girlfriend?"

"A girlfriend is an extra special girl that you care about, enjoy spending time with and like more than every other girl. And before you ask, a boyfriend's the same thing but with a boy. Bonnie and I are a couple. She's mine and I'm hers. And that song is ours and will always remind us of our first date."

 **Click!**

Bonnie seemed happy with the arrangement too.

* * *

And so Sabo and Bonnie got even closer. He sang that song to her, danced with her, kissed her, slept in the same bed as her and even kicked Luffy out of the tree house so he could polish her.

Makino called it 'a highly unconventional love'. But she was always the nicest person Luffy knew.

Dadan, the mountain bandits and everyone else in Foosha Village called Sabo crazy for dating Bonnie. Of course… they never actually said that to his face because the crazy soon-to-be-pirate always had a high-power rifle within arm's reach. And anytime that anyone dared to say anything bad about Bonnie while Sabo was within earshot they would soon have a bullet whizzing right by their head. Bonnie had helped Sabo get really good at shooting close to people without actually hitting them. They both seemed to enjoy scaring the piss out of Dogra whenever he mouthed off about them.

 **KER-CHOW!**

Luffy lurked on the outskirts of the clearing that Sabo was training in and watched as he hit three perfect bullseyes in a row while dangling upside down from a tree.

 **KER-CHOW-CHOW-CHOW!**

"Not bad, eh?" Sabo remarked.

 **Click!**

Sabo flipped out of the tree and landed on his feet.

"By the way, Bonnie, I've been meaning to ask this for a while," Sabo said. "Now that you've stopped throwing me around can we switch your responses and make firing 'yes' and misfiring 'no'?"

 **KER-CHOW!**

 **THUD!**

"Hahahaha!" Sabo laughed as he hugged the rifle to him. "You're still cheeky. But I love you anyway." Sabo kissed the rifle's nozzle as he sat up and climbed back up to his feet.

 **KER-CHOW!**

"She loves him too…" Luffy noted.

People kept saying that Sabo and Bonnie's relationship was strange and unnatural. But if being with Bonnie made his brother this happy… then to Luffy it couldn't be anything but good.

* * *

And suddenly Luffy was back outside the castle on Drum Rock watching his brother as he clutched his broken girlfriend to his chest.

"No… Bonnie… come on!" Sabo whimpered as he tried to press the two pieces of his rifle together.

Luffy dropped to his knees. It looked like someone had let the air out of the rubber man. He visibly shrank as he stared at his devastated brother and the broken rifle.

"Luffy… can you…" Sabo asked weakly as he looked over at his brother.

Luffy hung his head and couldn't meet his brother's eyes. "I can barely feel her... she's hurt… bad… she's..." Luffy trailed off unable to finish.

Sabo frantically looked over at Chopper. "CHOPPER! DOCTOR! PLEASE! SHE'S HURT! I NEED HELP!"

"And what do you expect me to do?" Dr. Kureha asked. "Glue it back together?"

"I… I don't know how to treat guns…" Chopper confessed as he timidly approached.

"Come on Bonnie… hang in there!" Sabo urged his girlfriend as he rocked the rifle pieces in his arms. "You can't leave me… we had so much left to do… I still don't even know what animal you are… you can't lose to a cheap shot from that sniveling coward of a king… Please… say something..."

But the broken rifle remained silent.

"No… it wasn't supposed to be this way…" Sabo whispered as he fought to hold back tears. "That greedy, arrogant, elitist son of a bitch!" Sabo gritted his teeth and clenched the rifle in his hands as his anguish turned to anger. "This is the last straw… Damn that king… Damn him..."

Sabo looked up and screamed at the top of his lungs. _**"DAAAAMN HIIIIIIM!"**_

A wave of pure rage went rolling off of Sabo. Luffy and Chopper were the closest and got blown over.

Dr. Kureha dropped to one knee and clutched her hand over her heart. "I haven't felt rage like that in over twenty years…"

"MONSTER!" Chopper shrieked as he scrambled away to hide behind Dr. Kureha.

A seething Sabo stood up and was engulfed with a flaring dark blue aura.

 **"YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH IT THIS TIME!"** Sabo roared. **"YOU'VE HURT TOO MANY PEOPLE! NO ROYAL PRIVILEGE WILL SAVE YOU NOW! I'LL FIND YOU AND I'LL TEAR YOU TO SHREDS!"**

"Sabo… you're scaring Chopper…" Luffy called out as he pushed himself up to his knees.

Sabo looked back at the reindeer who was shaking like a leaf as he hid behind Dr. Kureha. His terrifying aura faded to a low simmer but his facial expression showed that he was absolutely livid.

 **"I'm not the monster…"** Sabo stated. **"And you aren't either. He is. He's taken too much for too long. Now I'm going to give that jackass-in-a-can the royal beating that he deserves. And when I'm done… I'm gonna kill him. That way he can never hurt anyone ever again."**

Sabo held the broken halves of his rifle out to his unnaturally subdued younger brother. Luffy silently took the rifle and held it in his lap. "She's fading fast. She doesn't have much time left."

 **"Hang in there Bonnie… I'll be back,"** Sabo vowed. **"I'll avenge you and everyone else that he's hurt. That fat bastard is gonna meet his end before you do. I swear it."**

Sabo turned and stomped off toward the castle doors. His hands were clenched in tight fists at his sides and his stride was slow and deliberate.

One thing was perfectly clear… death was coming for Wapol.

Dr. Kureha stared after Sabo, "Looks like Wapol finally bit off more than even he can chew."

* * *

"AH-HA!" the doomed King exclaimed as he ran into the castle a moment earlier and spotted Sanji and Marshmallow. Wapol had shrunk down to his normal form. "THERE YOU ARE!"

"Me?" Sanji asked.

"NO! MY HIPPO!" Wapol snapped.

 **"Mofuun…"** Marshmallow whimpered.

"He's not yours anymore," Sanji stated. "Just like this castle's not yours anymore."

"I'M THE KING!" Wapol shouted. "EVERYTHING IN THIS KINGDOM IS MINE BY DEFAULT! THAT'S MY ROYAL BIRTHRIGHT! IT'S SOMETHING A POOR PIRATE PUNK LIKE YOU COULD NEVER UNDERSTAND!"

"You don't say?" Sanji countered. "Well I'd rather be a poor pirate punk than a royal like you any day."

"BAH! YOU FOOL!" Wapol scoffed. "YOU COULD NEVER BE ROYAL LIKE ME!"

But then Sabo's scream of rage came washing in through the front door.

 _ **"DAAAAMN HIIIIIIM!"**_

Wapol was standing by the doors so he got the full blast from it and dropped to the ground shivering. Sanji paled and staggered backwards into Marshmallow who had collapsed with swirls in his eyes.

The cook stood up and shook his head at the near comatose King. "Whatever you just did out there… it's about to bite you in the ass..."

* * *

"You know… if you need something smashed… I'm your girl," Miss Valentine supplied.

"Can you really get us out of here?" Nami asked as she looked over at the bald blonde.

"I _can_ …" Miss Valentine said, "I don't know if I _should_. The doctor didn't clear you yet."

"Which is why I need to sneak out while I have the chance," Nami explained.

"There's a battle going on outside," Miss Valentine reminded her. "It'll be safer in here."

"And there'll be more places to hide out there," Nami countered. "Come on… help a girl out!"

"Alright, alright," Miss Valentine conceded. "Stand aside."

Nami went back to her bed so she could pull on the black winter coat that had been left for her.

Miss Valentine got into a three point stance then pushed off and charged across the room at the door. "TEN THOUSAND KILO… TACKLE!"

 **KRASH!**

The super heavyweight tore the locked door clean off its hinges and slammed it into the wall on the other side of the hallway outside.

"Wow… didn't that door open inward?" Nami questioned.

"Yup," Miss Valentine confirmed as she pointed at the slivers of wood that had been left on the floor. "C'mon sweetie, jail break!"

Nami bundled her coat closed and ran out of the room after her new partner in crime.

But that's when Sabo's rage wave reached them.

 _ **"DAAAAMN HIIIIIIM!"**_

Both women dropped to their knees and clutched at each other.

The Baroque Works Officer Agent who had recently regained her memories from her years as an assassin buried her head in the pirate's chest and started shaking like a puppy in a thunderstorm.

"What was that?" a pale and sweating Nami gasped.

"R-rage…" the shaking Miss Valentine stammered, "P-pure r-rage…"

* * *

"When we get to the castle everyone stay back!" Dalton instructed as he, Zoro, Usopp, Ayako, Vivi and a crowd of villagers rode up to the castle crammed into a ropeway cart. "I'll take care of Wapol."

Dalton pulled open his coat to reveal that he had bombs strapped to him. "I'm ending this today even if it costs me my life!"

But that was when Sabo's wave of rage reached them.

 _ **"DAAAAMN HIIIIIIM!"**_

All the villagers but Dalton collapsed in a dead faint.

"EEP!" Ayako and Usopp both squealed like little girls and clung to Zoro.

Vivi fell over and started sweating while Carue collapsed next to her. "Wh-what was that?"

"I've only felt rage like that once before," Zoro admitted. He looked over at Dalton. "Fair warning… There might not be any pieces of Wapol left for you to blow up when we get there…"

* * *

"That must've been a trick…" Wapol insisted as he staggered back to his feet.

"It was no trick," Sanji assured him. "I've felt that rage once before… and you're about to be served a royal helping of comeuppance."

"Munch Munch Shock…" Wapol whispered through clenched teeth.

"What's that?" Sanji asked. "You'd think royalty would be able to enunciate."

"TONGUE CANNON!"

 **BOOOM!**

A cannonball shot out of Wapol's mouth and caught the cook clean in the chest.

 **FWUFF!**

Fortunately for Sanji, there was a big, fluffy 'pillow' behind him which he hit, bounced off and dropped to the ground.

"That's one down!" Wapol sneered. "One to go! You're lucky you're unconscious Robson. You won't want to see what happens next!"

 **"HEY, FAT-ASS! LEAVE MY MARSHMALLOW ALONE!"**

Wapol looked up to see Miss Valentine standing on the second floor railing up above him,

 **SKISH!**

Miss Valentine leapt off the railing and seemingly floated through the air at a light weight.

Wapol opened his mouth and fired his tongue cannon.

 **BOOOM!**

Miss Valentine was blasted back in the other direction. Nami stopped in her tracks as the bald blonde flew passed her on the second floor.

"Ten… thousand… kilos..."

 **KROOOM!**

Miss Valentine smashed into the stone wall and was embedded there.

"And who're you supposed to be?" Wapol asked as he stared up at Nami.

"Um… well… I'm… LEAVING!" Nami turned and ran.

But Wapol dashed forward and fired his tongue cannon at the ceiling above him.

 **BOOOM!**

"YAAAAAHH!" Nami screamed as she fell down through the hole Wapol had blasted in the floor.

"I know who you are!" Wapol realized as he stalked after Nami while she crawled out of the rubble and tried to get away. "You're the sick crew member they were so concerned about!"

"Yeah… you wouldn't hurt a sick girl… would you?" Nami asked.

 **TOMP!**

"AAAAH!" Nami shrieked as Wapol ran over and stomped on her back.

"You broke the law by ignoring me earlier," Wapol announced. "And your punishment is death!" The King opened his mouth and aimed his tongue cannon at Nami.

 **THWHAM!**

Sanji appeared and punted Wapol in the jaw and sent him flying off Nami clear across the entryway.

"HOW DARE YOU EVEN TOUCH NAMI-SWAN!" Sanji yelled. "I'LL KICK YOUR UGLY FACE IN!"

"GGGRRRAAH! YOU PEST!" Wapol shouted as he stood up with a dented metal jaw. "I'M NOT DONE! NOW I'M REALLY MAD!" He pointed at a pair of double doors. "Through those doors is the royal armory! Where I've stockpiled more weapons than you punks could even count! I'll eat them and use my powers to incorporate them all into my body and I'll blast every last one of you to smithereens! MAHAHAHAHA! Start begging for mercy because I've got the only key!"

Wapol grabbed at his waist but his hand came up empty. He went bug eyed when he looked down and realized the key wasn't there.

"You were saying?" Sanji asked.

"STUPID PIRATES!" Wapol yelled as he ran off up the spiral stairs. "I'VE STILL GOT ONE WEAPON LEFT! I'LL BE BACK AND I'LL KILL YOU ALL!"

"Oh… so that's what this key was for…" Nami commented as she sat up held out the key she'd stolen from Wapol's belt. "I thought it was the key to his treasury…"

"Marshmallow… are you okay, sweetie?" Miss Valentine asked as she vaulted over the railing and landed on her fluffy hippo. She patted him on the head.

 **"Mofuun…"** the White Walkie mumbled.

 **"WHERE… IS... HE…"**

Nami, Sanji, Miss Valentine and even Marshmallow all shuddered as they turned to see death personified standing in the castle doorway.

"He was trying to get into the armory!" Nami blurted out as she pointed at the locked double doors. "Sanji kicked him in the face and he ran away up the spiral stairs!"

 **"Armory?"** Sabo repeated as he turned to look at the locked doors.

"Yeah, I've got the key right—"

 **"RAAAAAAAAHHHH!"**

 **KRAASH!**

"…here…"

"And he didn't even need to weigh ten thousand kilograms…" Miss Valentine whispered.

Less than a minute later, Sabo came running out of the weapon's vault. He had a shotgun in one hand, a revolver in the other, a cannon tied on his back and a dagger and some kind of fancy grenade stuffed in his pocket.

But there was notably no rifle in his hastily gathered arsonal.

 **"IT'S PAYBACK TIME YOU FAT SON OF A BITCH!"** Sabo hollered as he thundered up the staircase.

"What was the hell was that?" Nami wondered as she stared after Sabo only just now able to stand. "I've never seen him that angry before!"

"I have… once…" Sanji confessed. "It was the day you stole the Going Merry."

"Hey, did you guys notice that he didn't have—" Miss Valentine was cut off by both pirates.

"BONNIE!"

All three of them raced out the castle door to find Luffy sitting on the ground with his head hanging and Chopper and Doctorine hovering around him.

"OH NO!" Miss Valentine stopped in her tracks and covered her mouth when she spotted the broken rifle in Luffy's lap.

Sanji and Nami kept running with the latter throwing herself down next to Luffy. "Hey! Hang in there you bullet-spitting pain-in-the-ass! Sabo's armed to the teeth and is hell bent on avenging you! He's going to tear Wapol a-fucking-sunder! You've gotta be here when he gets back! Hold on!"

Sanji looked over at Chopper, "Can you do anything?"

"I don't know how to treat a gun…" Chopper reiterated as he prodded the broken rifle with his hoof. "I could... strap the pieces together with bandages… but that wouldn't heal it... It'd still be broken…"

"Geez…" Dr. Kureha muttered, "I've never seen anyone so broken up about a weapon. The crazy top hat kid I can understand… but you're all treating the rifle like it's a member of your crew…"

 **"SHE IS!"** Luffy, Nami and Sanji all shouted at once.

* * *

"THERE IT IS!" Wapol exclaimed as he stood before a massive cannon with seven holes in the barrel. "MY ULTIMATE WEAPON! THE ROYAL DRUM CROWN SEVEN-SHOT BLIKING CANNON! MAHAHAHAHA! NOTHING WILL STAND IN MY WAY NOW!"

Wapol opened his mouth wide and started eating the cannon.

 **MUNCH! MUNCH CRUNCH! "Eep!"**

The King paid no mind to the cry of pain that came from inside the cannon because that's when he heard someone thundering up the steps.

 **"THERE YOU ARE!"** Sabo shouted as he ran into the tower.

"Top Hat you're just in time… TO DIE!" Wapol exclaimed, "Munch Munch Shock... BLIKING CANNON!"

 **SHOOM!**

Wapol grew in size as the seven barrels of his fancy cannon came out of his chest. "NOW DIE!"

 **BOOOOM!**

Sabo blinked as a white cannonball fired from the cannon and bounced harmlessly off of his chest.

 **Thud...**

"What was that?" Wapol wondered as he stared down at the white ball in surprise.

Sabo knelt down and prodded at the white ball. **"Feathers…"** His eyes blazed and his dark blue aura flared up again. **"YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH! THERE WERE SNOW BIRDS NESTING IN THAT CANNON!"**

Wapol staggered backwards until his back was nearly against the wall. "I… I'M THE KING! IT SERVES THEM RIGHT FOR NESTING IN MY ROYAL CANNON!"

 **"NO! NO MORE! YOU WILL NEVER HARM... ANOTHER SOUL... EVER AGAIN! MY PROMISE TO GOD!"**

Sabo pumped his shotgun and fired off two quick shots while Wapol was still reeling from his rage.

 **KA-BLAM! KA-BLAM!**

Wapol's shins exploded and the King dropped to the ground as he lost his feet below the ankles.

 **KLANG!**

The cannon-man fell on his side and cried out in pain. "AAAAUUGGH!" He pushed himself partially up with one arm and fired a cannonball at Sabo.

 **BOOOM!**

Sabo calmly raised his revolver and fired two shots at the cannonball flying towards him.

 **BAM! BAM!**

The cannonball exploded and Sabo fired a third shot at Wapol's wrist.

 **BAM!**

Wapol dropped back to the ground as he lost the hand supporting him. He managed to fire off another cannonball.

 **BOOOM!**

But Wapol's second cannonball met the same fate at the last one.

 **BAM! BAM!**

The cannonball crumbled in midair and then Sabo used his last bullet to shoot Wapol's other wrist.

 **BAM!**

"AAAUUGGHRRAAH!" Wapol's cry of pain became a roar of rage. "NOW YOU'RE OUT OF BULLETS! DIE!"

 **BOOOM!**

Wapol fired a third cannonball at Sabo as he tossed his empty resolver aside.

 **WHAP!**

Wapol stared in wide-eyed shock as Sabo caught the cannonball in his bare hand.

 **KRUNCH!**

Sabo's hand clenched and the cannonball shattered.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU!?" Wapol hollered.

 **"YOUR RECKONING!"** Sabo growled as he bent over and lit the fuse for the cannon his back.

 **BOOOOM!**

Sabo's cannonball blasted an eighth hole in the barrel of Wapol's cannon.

 **WHAM!**

The King was blown back and embedded in the tower wall behind him.

Sabo tore the cannon off his back and swung it at Wapol's like a massive baseball bat.

 **WHAAAM!**

The cannon-turned-club smashed down on the cannon coming out Wapol's chest and dented the barrel so it would never fire again.

 **Shoom!**

Wapol shrunk down to his normal body but remained embedded in the wall. "I give up! Mercy!"

 **"YOU DARE TO ASK FOR MERCY AFTER EVERYONE YOU'VE HURT?"** Sabo snarled.

"Let me live… and I'll make you a Lord in my court!" Wapol pleaded.

"..." Sabo's glare only increased as he stalked toward Wapol with the cannon held at his side.

"Uh… Vice-King! I'll give you half the kingdom!" Wapol begged desperately.

 **TMP!**

Sabo placed the cannon down next to him as he stopped in front of Wapol.

"GOTCHA!" Wapol exclaimed, "Munch Munch Shock… TONGUE CANNON!"

 **Shoom!**

Wapol's tongue transformed into a hastily made cannon.

But Sabo's hand flashed out, reached inside Wapol's mouth and grabbed the cannon barrel.

 **KRESH!**

The cannon shattered in Sabo's iron grip and Wapol's tongue returned to normal.

 **"ENOUGH OF THAT!"** Sabo grabbed hold of Wapol's floppy tongue and pulled out the dagger. **"What did you say you were going to do to me when we first met?"**

 **SLIK!**

"AAAAUUUUGGHH!" Wapol screamed.

Sabo stepped back and picked up his cannon. **"Long... live… the king..."** Sabo swung the cannon and smashed Wapol through the tower wall and sent him flying out over the peak of Drum Rock.

Sabo fished into his pocket and pulled out his final weapon. It was a golden ball with a cross on top. He pulled out the cross-shaped pin and counted. **"One… Two… FIVE!"** Sabo lobbed the golden ball after the airborne Wapol.

 **KA-BOOOOOOOOM!**

The holy-looking hand grenade exploded and the tyrannical King of Drum snuffed it.

 **"Rest in pieces… you son of a bitch…"** Sabo growled as he watched the body drop to the ground.

* * *

"Hey! Quit shoving!" Zoro complained as Usopp shoved him out of the lift where the ropeway let out.

"See anything?" Usopp asked as he hid behind the Boatswain.

 **THUD!**

Wapol's mangled corpse slammed into the ground in front of him.

"Well… I think Sabo found Wapol," Zoro remarked.

"He did?" Usopp questioned as he peaked out from around his human shield. "OH MY GOD! That guy's definitely dead!"

"Is it safe to come out?" Vivi inquired as she stood in the doorway with Ayako, Carue and Dalton.

"Yeah… Wapol's dead," Zoro announced.

"He is?" Dalton rushed out and stared in shock down at the body of the former King. "OH! Well… now I know what it would've looked like if I had blown him up…"

"Yeah… and shot off all his limbs first…" Usopp muttered as Vivi and Ayako came over.

"DON'T LOOK!" Vivi exclaimed as she immediately covered Ayako's eyes.

"You know that I spent years sitting around and drinking tea while my uncle killed people, right?" Ayako reminded her.

"I guess there's no questioning who did it," Zoro resolved, "He did call dibs."

"What could he have done to set Sabo off so badly?" Vivi wondered. "He didn't go this overboard against Mr. 5 on Little Garden."

 **"Quack!"** Carue called out as he pointed his wing at the group gathered outside the castle.

"Oh! Hey guys!" Usopp greeted. "Why the long faces? Wapol's gone."

"It's Bonnie…" a subdue Sanji answered.

"NO!" Usopp shrieked as he, Ayako, Vivi and Carue ran over.

"What's going on over there?" Dalton wondered.

"One of our crew is dying," Zoro told him as he followed the others. "Now I know what set Sabo off. Keep everyone back."

Zoro joined the circle around Luffy as he stepped into the spot that Usopp and Ayako made between them. Nami was on the artist's other side with Miss Valentine and Sanji next to her. Dr. Kureha and Chopper came next and then Carue and Vivi finished off the circle on Usopp's other side.

Usopp looked over at Dr. Kureha, "Is there anything you can do?"

"For that last time… it's a gun!" Doctorine insisted, "It's made of metal and wood! I treat injuries to flesh, bone and internal organs!"

 **"Luffy… is she…"**

Everyone turned to see Sabo standing in the castle doorway. The menacing aura was gone and had left only a heart-broken pirate in its wake. The assembled group made a hole for Sabo to run through.

The miserable rubber man still couldn't meet his brother's gaze as he gave a sad shake of his head.

"NO!" Sabo cried as he took the broken pieces of his girlfriend from his brother and started sobbing. "Bonnie… I got him… Please… I promised I'd get you out of there… You can't die like this..."

Sabo's tears pushed Usopp over the edge and the sniper started crying along with the Quartermaster. Ayako started sniffling but it was actually the hardened assassin Miss Valentine who broke next as she turned and started sobbing into a stiff Sanji's shoulder.

All the crying caused Chopper to start wailing. "IF ONLY I KNEW HOW TO TREAT GUNS!"

"Did that thing just talk?" a stoic Zoro asked.

"Yeah… he's gonna be our new doctor," a grim-faced Nami informed him.

A teary-eyed Vivi reached out and placed a hand on the devastated Quartermaster's shoulder in an effort to comfort him.

Sabo gently rocked back and forth as he began singing a familiar song.

 _"You're just too good to be true…_

 _Can't keep my eyes off of you…_

 _You'd be like heaven to touch…_

 _I wanna hold you so much…_ OH GOD!"

Sabo couldn't bring himself to finish started outright bawling as he kept rocking the rifle in his lap.

Everyone went stiff as a disembodied voice suddenly took over where he left off. It was a lilting feminine voice with a noticeable brogue that everyone in the circle heard plain as day.

 _ **"** **At long last love has arrived**_

 _ **An' I thank God I'm alive**_

 _ **Ye're just too good to be true**_

 _ **Can't keep my eyes off you…"**_

"B-Bonnie?" Sabo croaked.

The air in front of him started to shimmer and everyone shielded their eyes from a sudden bright blue glow. But when the glow faded there was a figure standing in front of Sabo.

She was a fox. That was the first thing everyone noticed. The second was that she was a transparent blue ghost. Her fur was most likely orange but due to the ghost being in blue-scale it was impossible to tell what color anything really was.

She stood roughly 175cms tall and wore a dark bandana tied over the top of her head with her pointed ears poking through the brim. She had intelligent, slanted eyes and her 'blue' fur turned white under her nose and cheeks before it went down the front of her neck to her chest. She wore a dark scarf around her neck that joined a sash that stretched at an angle across the noticeable swell of her chest before it met the thick belt above her waist. Her white blouse bared her 'blue' shoulders and a bit of the white fur at the top of her chest before the billowy sleeves met elbow-high fingerless gloves. Down below, she wore a dark knee-length skirt that had a notable plaid pattern with black pants underneath it and boots that had the same leathery look as her gloves and belt but had their tops rolled down so they came up to her mid-shin. And, of course, coming out through the back of her skirt about waist high was a long 'blue' tail.

Nami leaned toward Zoro, "You see the blue ghost fox too, right?"

"Yeah…" the swordsman admitted with a sharp nod.

"Good… then it's not just me this time…" Nami realized.

In between them, Ayako was fumbling to pull a small canvas out of her backpack.

"Bonnie!" Sabo gasped. "It's you!"

"Hey Sabo…" Bonnie Anne the Fox Musketeer greeted him as she knelt down in front of him.

"You're…"

"A Fox?" Bonnie finished for him. "Yea, I know. I swear I tried t' tell you. But ev'ry time I did ye'd insist that I was still a person. It was the sweetest, most stubborn thing anyone's ever done for me."

Sabo shook his head, "You're beautiful."

"Oh…" the fox's ears perked up and she smiled fondly. "Thanks. Ye're rather dashing yerself."

"Bonnie! I'm so sorry!" Sabo blurted out. "I should have taken better care of you! I-"

"Yeah right…" Usopp muttered as he tried to wipe away his tears. "Like that's even possible."

Bonnie looked passed Sabo at Usopp and gave him a quick smile as she was reminded that there were other people present.

"He has a point…" Bonnie admitted, "Sabo, ye took wonderful care o' me. Ye took better care o' me than any sane, rational person ever could. It was more than I ever could've hoped for when I found myself trapped in my rifle. I never thought I'd fall in love with a Human… but considering how dedicated ye were… I couldn't help it. Ye carried me around, ye treated me like I still mattered an' ye defended my honor against anyone who questioned our relationship. I'll always be grateful for that."

"Bonnie, don't go!" Sabo pleaded. "I'll get the rifle fixed! I promised I'd get you out of it! I love you..."

Bonnie shook her head sadly. "Sabo… I was never supposed t' be here. That rifle was the only thing keepin' me here. It was my anchor, if ye will. And now that it's broken I can already feel my spirit startin' to be pulled away. But I wanted to take this one last chance to see you so I could say goodbye an' thank you for ev'rythin' ye did for me."

Bonnie leaned in and brought her muzzle to Sabo's lips but the spectral fox passed right through her human boyfriend.

The fox's ears drooped as she pulled back and gave a sad sigh, "That's just us to a T, isn't it? You can finally see me but now we can't touch. That rifle's the only thing here I've ever had any control over."

"In that case…" Sabo said as he lifted the top half of the broken rifle and held it up in between them then kissed one side of the nozzle. Bonnie's ears perked back up and her tail wagged slightly as she leaned in to kiss the other side of the rifle. It was the closest that the two could get to a real kiss.

"I'll be back," Bonnie assured Sabo as she stood back up. "I'm goin' to say goodbye to the others too." The fox only had to go half a step before she was standing over the depressed rubber pirate sitting behind Sabo. "C'mon Luffy… don't look so down… it's not the end o' the world..."

"Bonnie… I'm sorry…" Luffy mumbled, "I killed you…"

"Really? I must've missed the part where ye fired a cannon at me," Bonnie remarked dryly.

"But… I dodged it!" Luffy protested. "I didn't want to get involved so I jumped out of the way instead of bouncing it back."

"And if I hadn't been so distracted watchin' Chopper fight I could've warned Sabo," Bonnie argued, "That's just conjecture. Let's look at the facts instead, shall we? Did ye fire a cannon at me?"

"No…" Luffy answered.

"Then ye didn't kill me," the Fox stated. "Simple as that. Now chin up, Captain. Ye've gotta be strong for ev'ryone else."

Luffy stood back up. He still looked saggy and deflated which made Bonnie look even taller than him than she already was. But the Straw Hat Captain _was_ staring at the ghost of a member of his crew. "Bonnie… thanks for looking after my brother. Thank you for giving him a chance."

Bonnie nodded, "Twas my genuine pleasure." She moved passed Luffy to Usopp whose lip was quivering as he struggled to hold back a new stream of tears. "C'mon Usopp… stand up straight, shoulders back. Ye're a brave warrior, remember? Brave warriors don't cry."

"They do at funerals!" Usopp whimpered before the dam burst and he started crying anew. "S-sorry we never got to have that rematch…"

"I was goin' to let you win that one anyway," Bonnie replied. "Then we could've had a third."

Usopp shook his head wistfully, "Prissy pistol."

"I'd prefer righteous rifle but suit yerself," Bonnie countered as moved on to Zoro.

Zoro raised an eyebrow, "After meeting a top-hatted lunatic who looked like he was in a one-sided relationship with his rifle… learning that you're a fox doesn't seem all that strange in comparison."

"Trust me, it's always been two-sided," Bonnie told him. "I just wasn't in a position to freely show my affection. I settled for shootin' at the people that irked 'im." They both glanced at Zoro's shoulder. "Speakin' of which… I need to ask you something..."

"You want a favor?" Zoro asked.

"Er… where I come from favors are a commodity," Bonnie informed him, "I have no way to pay ye back so let's just call it a dyin' request." Zoro nodded and Bonnie glanced over her shoulder at Sabo. "Don't let 'im sulk for too long when I'm gone. I need you to make sure he keeps fightin'. Throw a stick in his hands an' attack 'im if need be. I won't be there t' take shots at ye anymore."

"I'll do it," Zoro agreed.

Bonnie nodded her thanks and moved on to Ayako who was on her knees painting like a girl possessed. There was a swirl of different colors on the pallet in her lap. "I'm not interruptin', am I?"

"A'm't 'un'..." the Artist mumbled around the paintbrush in her mouth while she dabbed at her canvas with one of the two in her hands.

Bonnie looked back at Zoro, "This is why ye shouldn't be allowed around kids. Three days after meetin' you an' she's already emulating you an' puttin' weird things in 'er mouth. Ye'd better hope that doesn't give 'er an oral fixation like yours."

"I don't have an oral fixation!" Zoro argued.

"Sure ye don't…" Bonnie said with a roll of her slanted eyes.

Ayako used the paintbrush from her mouth to add a final dab of light blue paint. "Alright… I'm done." She turned the canvas around and unveiled her painting. The Artist had captured the exact moment when Sabo and Bonnie had been sharing their 'rifle kiss'. "I think I'll call it 'Star Crossed Lovers'."

Bonnie rolled her eyes again, "Ye don't know the half of it. Would ye mind givin' it to Sabo? Ye know… to remember me by?"

"Sure," Ayako agreed, "But it's not like he'd ever forget you,"

Bonnie smiled. "Sorry for drivin' ye mad."

"It's okay," Ayako said, "I wouldn't have found my artistic inspiration again if you hadn't."

"An' ye got some great friends out o' the deal too," Bonnie added. "I'd call it a win."

Ayako nodded as Bonnie moved on to Nami.

"..." the two silently stared at each other for a moment.

"Riflegeist…." Nami eventually ground out as she folded her arms under her chest.

"Thievin' kidnapper..." Bonnie retorted as she mimicked Nami's pose. "Yer mother asked me to tell ye that she says 'hi' an' that she's proud of ye."

Nami blinked. "When did you see my mother?"

Bonnie smirked, "Well it was late at night… I was in yer house… Sabo an' Nojiko had both passed out… Do ye really want me t' go any further?"

Nami shuddered. "Hate you."

"Hate you too," Bonnie replied and then flipped her off for good measure before she went to Miss Valentine. Bonnie held out her hand to the blonde. "Bonnie Anne, nice to finally meet ye."

"I still can't actually remember my real name," Miss Valentine confessed. Her hand went through Bonnie's spectral hand but they both mimed the shaking motion.

"Normally I'd be a lot angrier at someone feelin' all over my boyfriend," Bonnie said, "Especially since I can't do anythin' with 'im myself. But after seein' what happened to ye afterwards… I figured ye'd suffered enough already."

"Thanks for the freebie then!" Miss Valentine chirped. "Kyahahaha!"

Bonnie shook her head and wore an amused grin as she turned to Sanji.

"Miss Anne," Sanji greeted her. Bonnie twitched at the name. "I apologize for being unable to cater to your whims properly."

"That's okay," Bonnie reassured him, "I already had a charmin' blonde Human doing all that for me." Bonnie leaned in and whispered in his ear so only Sanji could hear. "No matter what anyone says… ye'll always be a Prince to me."

Sanji's visible eye widened as Bonnie pulled back. "How did you…"

"Sharp eyes on this rifle too," Bonnie reminded him. "Don't worry. I'm takin' yer secret to the grave."

Sanji frowned, "It shouldn't have come to that…"

Bonnie shrugged, "I've made my peace with it."

"Not just a rifle…" Dr. Kureha mused as Bonnie turned to her. "So you're a Mink then…"

"What's a Mink?" Bonnie asked.

"Um… _you_ are a Mink," Doctorine replied as if talking to a particularly slow child.

"No… _I'm_ a Fox," Bonnie countered as she matched the ancient doctor's patronizing tone.

"Look… there's a tribe of animal-people like you living on the back of an elephant in the New World," Dr. Kureha bruskly informed her. "Or at least there was when I last checked fifty years ago. They called themselves the Mink Tribe."

"Hm… I would've liked to see that…" Bonnie admitted, "I thought I was the only one in this world…" She turned to Chopper, "Which is why I was so surprised to see you." Bonnie knelt down so she was at eye-level with the shorter human-reindeer. "I'm sorry I kept scarin' ye. I was just so surprised t' see another Animal. I wanted to make sure the others recruited ye."

"He was telling the truth…" Chopper realized, "You really are like me!"

"Do ye still think ye don't belong on this crew?" Bonnie asked. "I've been a member since day one. Think on that, little guy."

Bonnie stayed on her knees as she turned to Carue. "I'll admit I haven't met many Ducks in my life. But ye're by far the bravest one I've ever seen."

 **"Quack!"** Carue said as he used his wing to salute.

Bonnie smiled and returned the duck's salute with one of her own then stood up to face Vivi.

"..." Bonnie stared silently at the Princess for a moment. Vivi tried not to wilt under the fox's scrutiny. "Sabo has a lot of hatred an' anger in his heart towards royalty but ye managed to work yer way through it like I hoped ye would. That's why I spared you back in Whisky Peak. It wasn't for you… it was for him. But that turned out t' be a double-edged sword for me. Cuz I've never seen anybody so concerned about what my boyfriend thought about 'er. An' that scared the hell out of me. For the first time since we got together I was scared about losin' 'im."

"Bonnie… Sabo's devotion to you borders on obsession," Vivi pointed out. "Considering everything you two have been through… I never would have stood a chance."

Bonnie shook her head. "It hardly matters now. Look after 'im… please… he's goin' to be in a dark place after this Wapol-business. Help 'im see the light again."

Bonnie turned away before she could hear Vivi's response and faced Sabo who had finally stood up. "Bonnie… I don't want to lose you… I still need you…"

"I know but I can't be there for you anymore," Bonnie replied. "I've always had one foot out the door. Now I'm fightin' not to be dragged through kickin' an' screamin'. I don't have much time left. But before I go… I think I can help ye one last time… C'mon! An' bring the rifle! I don't know how far I can go from it even now that I'm… well… C'mon!"

"'Scuse me Chopper..." Bonnie called out as she ran straight through him to get out of the circle and raced for Drum Castle. The reindeer froze like… well… like a deer while Sabo leapt over him still clutching the broken rifle to his chest as he tore after his ghostly girlfriend.

Everyone left shared a look that said 'I'm not missing this' before running after the couple.

"So am I just supposed to stand out here and wonder what that was about?" Dalton asked out loud as he remained standing over Wapol's already forgotten corpse.

* * *

"Bonnie… where are we going?" Sabo asked as he chased Bonnie into the castle.

 **"MOFUUN!"** Marshmallow yelped as he backpedaled away from the ghost fox as she ran by him.

"I told ye that I had one foot out the door," Bonnie replied as she stood in the middle of the entryway and closed her eyes in deep concentration, "I think it's cuz of that I was able to sense the exact moment ye offed Wapol. It's this way..." Bonnie turned and led Sabo to the right. "He crossed over but somethin' else came back…"

Bonnie stopped in front of a big double door that was across the entryway from the armory. Only unlike the armory doors these doubles were completely frozen over. "It's through here…" Bonnie dashed forward and ran straight through the solid door.

Sabo ran forward and kicked at the door. But the emotionally exhausted Quartermaster who had torn the ones opposite off their hinges in a fit of rage could only kick weakly at the frozen doors as he hugged the broken rifle to his chest.

"Bonnie! They're frozen solid!" Sabo called through the door. "They won't budge!"

 **"Out of the way!"**

 **WHAM!**

 **THWHAM!**

A split-second later Zoro and Sanji were standing on top of the broken doors.

"Oh… so this is Wapol's kitchen, huh?" Sanji questioned as he stared at the huge two-story room. "Doesn't surprise me that a greedy bastard like him would hoard such a fancy room all to himself."

"Over here!" Bonnie announced as she stood in front of an utterly massive refrigerator that reached the ceiling of the two-story room.

Sabo rushed over to the enormous refrigerator but found both of the double doors bound together with a chain and sealed with a huge padlock.

"It's locked…" Sabo pointed out.

"Not for long!" Nami called out from the doorway. She turned and prodded a still rather subdued Luffy in the shoulder. "Luffy, there's food in that fridge. Get it opened and you can eat it all."

Luffy nodded and ran over to Sabo and Bonnie.

Dr. Kureha leaned towards Nami, "You do realize all that food's been sitting there for a year and isn't fit for human consumption."

"That's why I'm only feeding it to Luffy," Nami casually replied.

 **KRUNCH!**

Luffy tore the refrigerator's two doors clean off and tossed them aside. But then to the surprise of everyone he simply turned and walked away from all the food.

"Luffy… you okay?" Nami asked. "I half-expected you to dive in head-first."

Luffy shook his head. "I can't eat while Bonnie's like that."

The Straw Hat's gathered by the doorway shared a wide-eyed look at finally discovering something that could curb the Captain's monstrous appetite.

"I think it's somewhere near the top," Bonnie said as she craned her neck upward.

Sabo looked up at the twenty shelves packed full of old food then looked down at the rifle pieces cradled in his arms. "I can't climb like this…"

"NEVER FEAR! CAPTAIN USOPP'S HERE!" Usopp ran over and fished into his arsenal bag. "And I've brought my trusty grappling hook!" Usopp pulled the familiar metal hook and the long length of coiled rope it was attached to out of his bag and then swing it around at his side before letting it fly.

 **WHING!**

 **KLINK!**

The grappling hook embedded in the top of the refrigerator and Usopp gave it a quick tug to ensure it was secure then jumped up and planted his feet on the second shelf. The Master Gunner held on tight and began walking straight up the inside of the huge refrigerator.

"What am I looking for exactly?" Usopp inquired as he quickly scaled up to the tenth shelf.

"I don't know…" Bonnie admitted, "Something that doesn't look like normal food…"

"Well, I found the vegetables," Usopp reported from up on the fifteenth shelf. "These look untouched. I guess Wapol didn't like eating healthy."

"Try an' find a fruit shelf…" Bonnie suggested.

"It looks like those are the last two," Usopp observed as he climbed the rest of the way to the top and then dangled there. "Hey! What does a Devil Fruit look like?"

"Mine was round… and purple… with swirls and a green stem," Luffy recalled.

"I know of two Zoan-type Devil Fruit," Vivi supplied. "They've been passed down for generations in my country and are fed to our two strongest warriors so they can become our guardian animals. They're different colors but both are shaped like a bunch of bananas."

"Really?" Chopper asked. "Mine was pink and shaped like a big apple…"

Miss Valentine closed her eyes and screwed up her face in hard concentration, "Mine was… round… reddish purple… with lumps all over it… My stupid boyfriend thought it was candy… WHOA! I JUST REMEMBERED SOMETHING AGAIN!"

"Well, good old Captain Usopp just found one!" Usopp announced, "This one's round, purply-gray and has barbs that look like bolts coming out of it. Sabro, catch!" Usopp tossed the fruit back behind him then started to slide back down his rope.

Sabo cradled the broken rifle with his right arm and reached up to catch the fruit with his left hand.

 **WHAP!**

Sabo lowered his arm and stared down at the fruit in his hand just as Usopp reached the ground. It was as Usopp described, grayish purple with bolt-like barbs coming out of it. Some of which had scratched Sabo's hand when he caught it.

"Bonnie… I don't want a Devil Fruit… I want _you_!" Sabo insisted.

"Sabo… don't make this harder than it already is!" Bonnie pressed him. Her strong resolve had finally cracked. Her tail was sagging, her ears were drooping and there were tears in her eyes. "I can't be with you anymore…"

"This isn't fair," Sabo complained. "I love you…"

"Life rarely is…" Bonnie replied. "But if ye eat that… ye'll be stronger. An' ye'll hopefully be able to swing the scales back in yer favor. An' that way I won't have to spend my afterlife worryin' about ye. I don't know how Devil Fruit work… but I'm guessin' it's Wapol's."

Sabo looked disgusted. "Why would I want anything that fat sack of crap had? He killed you! I don't want anything about the jerk to live on."

 **POW!**

Sabo doubled over with a fist in his stomach.

The Princess of Alabasta glared down at the stubborn pirate as she removed her fist. "You can make up for it by using the powers better than Wapol ever did and by being a better person than he was. That starts with heeding your dying girlfriend's last request." Vivi grabbed the Devil Fruit out of Sabo's hand and stuffed it in his gaping mouth. "Now chew… and then swallow."

 **"Huff… huff… Mr. Dalton… says… it's okay…"** Everyone looked to see Ayako panting and wheezing in the doorway. No one had noticed that the mousy artist was gone but her flushed face showed that the lazy girl had actually run out of the castle and back. "He says… huff-huff… since you killed Wapol… it's yours… by right of conquest…huff-huff... And he doesn't want it… in his country… anymore… huff… Oh God I think I pulled something..."

"First motion sickness now this," Dr. Kureha remarked, "Someone make sure this poor girl gets some regular exercise."

"There, you even got permission," Vivi resolved. "Now you're out of excuses. Eat the fruit."

Sabo finally relented.

 **Chomp-Chomp-Chomp… Gulp!**

"AAUUUGGGH!" Sabo howled and dropped to his knees as he clutched his stomach.

"WHAT'S IT DOIN' TO 'IM!?" Bonnie shrieked in alarm.

"I DON'T KNOW!" Vivi exclaimed. "Maybe it's the powers manifesting?"

"That tasted… horrible…" Sabo groaned. "Why didn't anyone warn me?"

"You already didn't wanna eat it," Luffy chimed in. "I decided not to warn you that mine tasted like burned rubber."

"Rusty metal…" Sabo stated. "And despite eating something so revolting… I'm starving."

"If that's the biggest of yer worries… I think ye'll be okay," Bonnie said with a sad smile.

"Do I look any different?" Sabo asked. "Wapol was…"

"Yer mouth's a little bit bigger," Bonnie noted as she looked him over like it was going to be her last chance to do so. "It takes up more of yer face."

"I guess I'll have to put my big mouth to good use," Sabo resolved.

The blue spectre pulsed and shined brighter for a split second but then she slowly began to fade. "Sabo… it's time for me to go. Thank you. An' I'm glad I was able to help ye this one last time..."

"NO!" Sabo growled. "You're not going anywhere!"

"Sabo! Quit bein' stubborn!" a half-visible Bonnie snapped. Her tears were finally falling. "There's... nothin' ye can do..."

"No… there _is_ …" Sabo insisted. He grabbed the two pieces of his broken rifle, opened his mouth wide and dumped them inside. His eyes locked on Bonnie's.

 **Munch… Munch...**

"Sabo… what're ye doin'?" Bonnie asked warily.

" _How many cannons do you even have?"_

" _Just the two! But thanks to my miraculous Munch Munch Fruit Powers I can alter the shape of things that I've eaten. Watch this! Munch Munch Shock… DOUBLE BARREL!"_

 _ **Shoom!**_

" _See? Good as new!"_

Sabo finally broke eye contact and stared down at his left arm. "Munch Munch Shock… Rifle Arm."

 **Shoom!**

Sabo forearm shifted and started to extend and then suddenly there was a familiar rifle in its place. The handle of the 1.5 meter rifle went out passed his elbow joint while the nozzle stretched out way beyond where his fingers once were.

Sabo smiled a wide smile that took up half his face then looked up at Bonnie. "Good as new."

"Sabo…" Bonnie gasped and covered her mouth.

"You said your rifle was your anchor…" Sabo reminded her, "That it's the thing keeping you here… well… now your rifle is a part of me… so that means _I'm your anchor_."

"But Sabo… yer arm…" Bonnie pointed out as she jabbed her finger at the rifle.

Sabo shrugged it off. "Big deal. You know I'm right handed. It's just an arm… that's a small price to pay if it means that you're safe."

Luffy's face lit up at the familiar words and his heart swelled. The rubber man jumped three meters in the air and let out a cheer, "YEAH! SHE'S GONNA BE OKAY!"

Sabo smiled as he stood up and held out his arms. "Bonnie… come home."

"S-Sabo!" Bonnie gave one last gasping sob before she ran into his arms… and vanished into his chest.

Sabo reached into his pocket and pulled out a hand-full of bullets. He opened his mouth wide and tossed them down like potato chips.

 **Chunch! Chunch! Gulp!**

"Bonnie?" Sabo asked as he looked down at his rifle-arm. "Are you there?"

Sabo's arm fired on its own.

 **KER-CHOW!**

 _ **"You bet yer cute, tailless arse I am!"**_ a familiar lilting brogue sounded through his head.

Sabo blinked. "What?"

 _ **"What?"**_

"Bonnie? _"_

 _ **"Sabo? Can ye… hear me?"**_

"Well… I heard you say something about my ass…"

 _ **"** **OH MY GOD! YE CAN ACTUALLY HEAR ME! THIS IS AMAZIN'! NO MORE YES AN' NO CONVERSATIONS! I CAN FINALLY TALK TO YOU!"**_

"And that bit about my ass?"

 _ **"I said what I meant. I'm not takin' it back."**_

"Eh-hem." Sabo turned to see Zoro standing in front of him with a shit-eating grin. "Now that I know your girlfriend's okay… I don't have to hold back anymore."

Sabo folded his rifle and his arm across his chest. "Let me have it. With the mood I'm in nothing you say can get to me."

"Okay," Zoro agreed as he held up his three swords. "Three swords, three things. Wado Ichimonji… Your girlfriend's a fox… that officially makes you a Furry."

Sabo shrugged. "I'd say I'm attracted to this very special fox and not animal-people in general. But if loving my brilliant fox girlfriend makes me some kind of pervert… then that's fine. You can call me a Furry."

"What's a 'Furry'?" Chopper asked.

"It means you're no longer allowed to be alone in the same room with him," Nami answered.

"Yubashiri…" Zoro continued.

 _ **"Is he usin' his swords to count?"**_

"He probably can't count that high otherwise," Sabo replied.

"Eh-hem," Zoro cleared his throat again. "As I was saying... Yubashiri, I assume that you were talking to your girlfriend just now. But none of us can actually hear her so it just looks like you're talking to yourself which makes you appear even crazier than normal."

"So I'm crazy?" Sabo questioned. "Nothing I haven't heard before. In the meantime, I'll work on it."

 _ **"Try thinkin' what ye want to say instead of just blurtin' it out…"**_

 _"Like this?"_

 _ **"Aye!"**_

"Sandai Kitetsu," Zoro's grin took on a predatory shark-like quality. "Your rifle-dwelling girlfriend is now your left hand. That officially makes you a walking, talking mastrubation joke."

Sabo's eyes bugged out and his jaw dropped to his waist.

Zoro smirked, "Got him."

 **Swish!**

Suddenly a blue spectral fox head popped out of Sabo's open mouth.

"GAAAH!" Zoro yelped in surprise.

"Keep talkin' like that Zoro!" Bonnie called out. "It's probably why those precious swords of yours won't give ye the time o' day!"

Zoro stared wide-eyed at Bonnie then cast a wounded look down at his three katana.

Bonnie smirked and then vanished back into Sabo.

 _"Wanna give a guy warning before you suddenly pop out of him?"_

 _ **"I didn't know I could until I did it just now. And even then, I could only stay out fer a bit b'fore I felt myself bein' sucked back in. But it looks like nearly dyin' left me with my ghost phasin'."**_

 _"And that bit about Zoro's swords? Do you talk to them? Are there spirits trapped in them too?"_

 _ **"As far as I know they're just regular swords. But the important part is that HE doesn't know that."**_

Sabo grinned at Zoro, "I guess that's another win for Team SaBonnie."

"Two on one…" Zoro grumbled, "No fair…"

"More like two on four," Sabo countered. "Maybe if you actually knew how to treat a lady your blades would be more willing to lend a hand."

Zoro flinched and cast a guilty look at his swords.

 _ **"Bullseye! That'll show 'im!"**_

Nami shook her head, "Just when I thought their relationship couldn't get any weirder. Now she's his left arm and she's literally living inside him."

 _ **"Ye're not gonna charge me rent are ye?"**_

 _"Nah. Stay as long as you like."_

"So… so beautiful…" Miss Valentine sobbed.

"You okay?" Ayako asked.

"No! I'm a romantic at heart!" the crying blonde told her. "Between that and my love for chocolate why do you think I picked _Miss Valentine_ as my codename?"

"Hm… I picked 'goldenweek' because it's a week-long vacation…" the artist admitted.

"Usopp… are you still crying?" Vivi asked as she watched Usopp wipe tears from eyes.

"No! These are manly tears of joy!" the sniper insisted. "I'm just so happy for them..."

Vivi smiled as she looked over the pirate and his new arm, "I am too…"

"So that's how you fix a rifle…" Chopper noted.

"Hmm… a noisy blonde kid with a fox spirit living inside him," Dr. Kureha mused to herself, "I feel like I've heard this story before…"

"OH _SHIT_!" Sanji suddenly swore loudly and then paled. "Excuse me… sorry ladies…"

"What's with you?" Zoro asked.

"I already had my hands full dealing with Luffy's appetite," the cook stated. "Now I've gotta deal with a Munch Munch Man's on top of that..."

"THAT REMINDS ME!" Sabo exclaimed, "I'm _starving_!" He turned towards Wapol's huge refrigerator and saw that Luffy was already halfway through it. "HEY! MOVE OVER! STARVING GUY COMING THROUGH!"

The Straw Hats watched in horror as the two Devil Fruit-powered brothers made short work of Wapol's year-old food. Luffy gobbled down everything his rubber arms could reach as per usual while Sabo new appetite didn't limit him to just the food and he starting munching on the actual shelves and containers.

"Sanji…" a pale Nami whispered. "Remember how you were asking about getting a lock for the fridge?"

"Did you finally decide to grant my request?" the cook asked eagerly.

Nami nodded frantically, "Our lives depend on it."

 **Knock-knock!**

Dalton rapped on the doorframe. "Is it safe to come in now? The other villagers finally woke up and wanted some answers."

"All clear!" Sabo announced as he and Luffy stepped away from the completely empty refrigerator.

Dalton immediately spotted the pirate's new 'arm'. "So you're the one who ate Wapol's Devil Fruit."

"He broke my rifle so I broke him," Sabo stated. "Now I've got his powers and she's better than ever."

"I'm just sorry that it cost you your arm to fix it," Dalton replied.

"I'm not!" Sabo reassured him, "Best thing to ever happen to me."

 _ **"I'm already livin' inside you. Ye don't have to sweet-talk me."**_

 _"Who's sweet-talking? Finally being able to hear your voice is the greatest thing to happen to me."_

 _ **"Hm… charmer..."**_

"So if you defeated Wapol… who was the one that defeated his henchmen?" Dalton inquired. "I noticed that they were fused to form Chessmarimo. Together those two are our country's strongest warrior."

"The reindeer did it!" Luffy exclaimed as he pointed at Nami.

Nami stepped aside to reveal the reindeer that had been attempting to 'hide' behind her.

"You…" Dalton gasped.

 _"If you can't beat me than you don't stand a chance against them!" Dalton growled as he grappled with a brown yeti wearing a pinkl top hat in his bison-hybrid form. "If this is about them laughing at Dr. Hiluluk's death then I'll apologize for them. But fighting them would mean certain death. DON'T BECOME ANOTHER SACRIFICE FOR THIS COUNTRY! I beg of you!"_

"You fought for the sake of this country…" Dalton said in a reverent whisper. He dropped to his knees and bowed to Chopper. "Thank you! This country can now be born again!"

"That reminds me!" Luffy realized.

 **WOING-WHAP!**

He stretched his arms across the room and grabbed Chopper then yanked him over.

"I finally caught ya!" the rubber man exclaimed. "SHISHISHI!"

"Did he just stretch?" Dalton asked. Ayako nodded.

"Chopper! Join my crew!"

"I… but I…" Chopper blustered.

 **Swish!**

Bonnie's head popped out of Sabo's top hat. "But what? Do ye like pirates?"

"Yes…"

"Do ye wanna sail the seas an' become the Miracle Cure?"

"Yes…"

"Do ye finally wanna have friends?"

"Yes…"

"Then there's yer answer." With that, Bonnie sank back into Sabo's hat.

Dalton looked over at Dr. Kureha. "Did a Mink just pop out of his top hat?"

"She was originally in the gun," Doctorine replied. "She says she's a fox. I had to tell her what a Mink was."

"Odd…" Dalton remarked.

"You have no idea," the ancient doctor grumbled. "When this is over I'm gonna get good and drunk."

"Well, Chopper?" Luffy prompted.

"OKAY!" Chopper finally agreed. "I'LL BE A PIRATE!"

"YEAH!" Luffy cheered.

"I knew you'd cave eventually!" Nami squealed as she grabbed the startled reindeer and hugged him.

"Hey! I want in on this!" Miss Valentine exclaimed as she glomped Chopper along with Nami. "FINALLY! He's so fluffy!"

"Wait… did Luffy just poach the witch's reindeer?" Usopp asked.

"Are you really questioning the Captain's crazy whims?" Zoro countered.

"Have you guys seen his adorable pink hat!?" Ayako added as she joined the group hug with Nami and Miss Valentine. "Why wouldn't we want him?"

"ALSO HE'S A TALKING REINDEER THAT _TRANSFORMS_!" Luffy gushed.

"Well that explains everything," Usopp realized.

"And he's a doctor," Sabo informed Vivi who had hung back near him. "Which means Nami won't have to stay here for another three days like the witchdoctor wanted and we can get you back home."

"Oh… thank you," Vivi replied.

 **Swish!**

Vivi jumped when Bonnie's ghostly head popped out of Sabo's left shoulder. "Also, he's an Animal, he's cute as a button an' can hold his own in a fight. Ye see? There are plenty of reasons why we want 'im. Don't think we've been houndin' 'im since we found out he was a doctor just because o' you."

"Right… of course," Vivi agreed with a small smile.

"And you!" Bonnie said as she turned fully around to addressed her boyfriend. "Quit callin' 'er a witchdoctor. I've known actual witchdoctors an' she isn't one."

Sabo blinked as Bonnie sank down into his shoulder. "I feel like there's a story in there somewhere…"

 _ **"Later…"**_

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" Dr. Kureha suddenly called out. "You may have convinced him… but don't think I'm just going to step back and allow you to drag my only assistant out to sea with you."

"You said we could take him," Nami reminded her as she tightened her hold on Chopper.

"That was because I didn't think there was any chance that he'd actually go," Dr. Kureha argued.

 **"Then you can have me. I'll take his place."**

Everyone turned to stare at Miss Valentine as she extracted herself from the hug.

"I spent a long time hurting a lot of people," the blonde stated. "I think it's high time I started helping them instead. Plus, my memory's still spotty and it would be useful to have a doctor nearby on this out-of-the-way island where a certain organization will never find me."

Dr. Kureha folded her arms across her chest. "I spent years teaching Chopper medicine. I'd hardly count you as a worthwhile replacement."

"Considering how many years you've been practicing medicine, I don't think you'll actually need any help in that department," Miss Valentine pointed out. "But I'm great at throwing my weight around."

 **WHUP!**

Miss Valentine suddenly had Dalton thrown over her shoulder.

"What just happened?" the muscular Militia Captain asked as the petite blonde held him up with ease. "See? I can do heavy lifting… or I can just pin down struggling patients. And I've also got a furry hippo parked outside that I can use to give you a ride down the mountain. _And_ if you're interested I can make some more of that Hard Chocolate with plum that you seemed to like."

"Fine… you're hired," Dr. Kureha agreed. "You can start by gathering the villagers and pushing all the cannons that are in Wapol's armory out in front of the castle."

"Right, boss!" Miss Valentine agreed as she dropped Dalton and ran out the door. "Good luck everybody!" She came running back in a second later. "I almost forgot!"

"Urk!" Sanji gagged as the blonde grabbed him by the tie and yanked him into a hard, searing kiss.

"You're the kindest person I've ever met. Thank you for everything… Mr. Prince."

"Of course my Valentine, it was my pleasure," a widely smiling, red-faced Sanji replied.

"Kyahahaha," Miss Valentine giggled and ran out the door.

Zoro grimaced at the happy look on Sanji's face. "When did that become a thing?"

"After he made her some hot chocolate that jogged her memories," Sabo answered. "So is this an issue with women or with relationships in general?"

" _That_ is an issue with him being unbearably happy for the next few days," Zoro stated. " _Yours_ was an unnatural crime against nature… but now it goes against the laws of life and death too."

"Bite me, I'm a pirate," Sabo retorted. "That means I'm free to do whatever I want."

"Guys, quit squabbling and shut up!" Nami barked. "Let's get out of here so the doctor can have some privacy to say goodbye to Chopper."

The Straw Hats and Dalton all filed out of the kitchen leaving Dr. Kureha alone with her assistant.

"Is this really what you want to do?"

Chopper nodded. "The Doctor said I should go out to sea. I want to carry his banner and declare war against all the world's illnesses. This is what you trained me for. I want to become the Miracle Cure."

"Alright then," Dr. Kureha replied. "Take the sleigh so you bring your friends down the mountain without stealing the cart the villagers took up here."

Chopper blinked at the abrupt dismissal and headed for the door. "Right… goodbye, Doctorine."

"Chopper…" Dr. Kureha called after him. "Take care of yourself."

And the dam broke. The reindeer burst into tears and ran back and hugged the ancient doctor's leg. "Doctor Kureha… thank you! Thank you for teaching me! Thank you for taking care of me! Thank you for everything!"

"Get off!" Doctorine complained as she shook her bawling assistant off of her. "If you think I'm going to shed any tears just because you're leaving… you've got another thing coming! Get out of here!"

Chopper ran out of the kitchen to fetch the sleigh.

"Stupid brat…" Dr. Kureha muttered as she wiped at her eyes once she was sure Chopper was gone. "He thinks he's all grown up."

* * *

"Everybody get in the sleigh!" Chopper called out as he pulled Dr. Kureha's sleigh out of the castle and stopped in front of the other Straw Hats who were watching the villagers roll cannons outside.

"She's letting us take the sleigh?" Sabo questioned. "You know, for a witch she wasn't that bad. I half expected her to chase us out of here."

 _ **"All part of yer charm, hon."**_

"I don't know why," Zoro admitted, "But for some reason we seem leave every village on a peaceful, positive note."

"Are you complaining?" Usopp asked.

"No," Zoro replied. "It's just really freakin' weird. This isn't how pirates are normally operate."

"You said 'normal'," Nami pointed out, "There's _nothing_ normal about this crew."

 **"WAAAAAIIIIT!"** Miss Valentine suddenly came tearing out of the castle. She was running so fast that the villager she was dragging behind her looked like he was flapping in the air. "LUFFY! SABO!"

The Captain and Quartermaster turned to face the blonde as she caught up to them and placed the surprised villager down beside the sleigh. "This guy's got a message for you…"

"I think she pulled my arm out of the socket…" the man complained as he held his shoulder.

He didn't notice the hulking yeti coming up behind him until Chopper had grabbed his arm and jammed it back in place.

 **Krek…**

"AAH!" the villager yelped then turned and screamed when he saw who'd helped him. "AAAAAHH!"

"AAAAAH!" Chopper screamed back at the villager.

"MONSTER!" the man shrieked and turned to flee but found his path somehow barred by an angry 156cm fourteen year old girl.

"That's our new doctor that you just screamed at," Ayako informed him. "He fixed your arm for free. Would you have preferred going to the witch to fix it?"

The villager paled at the thought of Dr. Kureha's treatment. The infamous witch was actually _more terrifying_ than the huge yeti.

"I think an apology and a thank you are in order," Ayako said.

"I… right…" the villager agreed as he turned and easily spotted Chopper who was still in his Heavy Point form but was attempting to hide behind a much smaller Vivi. "Sorry… Thank you monster." Chopper blinked in surprise. It was surreal enough to have people thanking him... but now people were defending him too!

"What did you want?" Luffy asked. "My crew and I have to go."

"You're 'Straw Hat' Luffy, right?" the villager questioned and got a nod in response. "Well… a week ago a man seemingly wandered into Robello. I remember it because it was the first day in a long time that it didn't snow. He said his name was Ace…"

Suddenly Luffy and Sabo were paying rapt attention. "Did you say 'Ace'?"

"Yeah… he had a newspaper with both your picture in it. He said to pass on a message to you if you ever came here. He said he would be waiting for you in Alabasta for ten days."

"That means we've only got three days left," Sabo realized.

"EVERYONE IN!" Luffy shouted as he jumped in the front of the sleigh. "WE'VE GOTTA GET TO ALABASTA IN THREE DAYS SO WE CAN MEET ACE!"

"Yes, we've gotta get to Alabasta ," Sabo stated as he sat down next to a certain blue haired Princess. "For that reason and that reason only." He winked at Vivi then turned and smiled at the former Baroque Works Officer Agent. "Thanks Miss Valentine. Good catch."

"Yeah! Thanks Valentine!" Luffy exclaimed as Chopper started running towards the ropeway.

"No problem guys!" Miss Valentine responded. "Good luck with everything you find in Alabasta."

"Who's Ace?" Ayako asked from next to Luffy.

"Our brother," Luffy answered.

"YOU MEAN THERE'S THREE OF YOU!?" the Artist shrieked. She promptly fainted.

"She's taking that rather hard…" a mildly offended Sabo noted.

"Actually... I think that might've been the motion sickness," Usopp informed him as Chopper raced down the ropeway.

* * *

"What're you doing standing out here?" Dr. Kureha demanded as she walked up to Miss Valentine.

"Oh… just passing on a message," the blonde answered while the villager shrieked and ran away.

Doctorine stuffed a sack into her new assistant's arms, "Take this powder and load it in the cannons… then point them all up into the air."

"Okay…" Miss Valentine agreed. "Um… why?"

"Because we're going to give those pirates a proper send off," Dr. Kureha explained. "We're going to make Dr. Hiluluk's cherry blossoms bloom."

"Right, I'm on it, boss!"

* * *

The Straw Hats reached the bottom of the ropeway in time to see the sky light up with cannonfire from the top of Drum Rock. Dr. Hiluluk's red powder was fired up into the sky where it combined with the white snow clouds and now pink snowflakes were falling on the island.

The Straw Hats stood in the sleigh and marveled at the astonishing beauty of Hiluluk's cherry blossoms.

But it was the two youngest Straw Hats that were moved the most by the amazing sight.

"Cherry blossoms… in an island of snow…" Ayako whispered as she staggered back up and hurriedly dug a new canvas out of her backpack. The beautiful, awe-inspiring sight instantly cured her any lingering effects of her motion sickness. Just like the sight of cherry blossoms had seemed to cure a certain bandit-turned-quack many years ago. "It's a miracle… it's magic… I've gotta paint it!"

And then, of course, there was Chopper.

"DOCTOR!" Chopper bawled as he stood in front of the sleigh and cried his eyes out.

His father's dream of doing the impossible and making cherry blossoms bloom in an island of snow had finally come true.

* * *

"Kyahahaha! It's beautiful!" Miss Valentine laughed as she stood next to Dr. Kureha on Drum Rock. "Boy did I pick the right island to stay at!"

"Hee hee hee," Dr. Kureha cackled as she stared down at the edge of the island. "Well, if you turn out to be a good assistant and if you play your cards right… I might even show you the secret of my youthful appearance."

"Ooo... goodie!" Miss Valentine chirped.

"They're probably gone by now," Dalton noted as he came up behind them.

Miss Valentine looked over at Doctorine, "Are you sure you're okay about your adorable assistant running off on you?"

The doctor smiled, "Him? He was just a stray that I was taking care of for an old friend. He'll be fine." She glanced over at her companions. "New assistant, that man appears to be injured. He shouldn't be standing or walking around. Get him up to the patient room and make sure he stays there."

"Righto, boss!" Miss Valentine agreed.

 **WHUP!**

Dalton found himself thrown over the blonde's shoulder again as she carried him into the castle and left deep footprints in her wake. "Let's get you to bed, mister!"

"You do realize that there's a strong chance that I'll be elected this country's new King soon…" Dalton reminded her as he was carried away.

"Oh... my mistake," Miss Valentine said without breaking her stride "Let's get you to bed, _your majesty_."

"Hee hee hee!" Dr. Kureha cackled as he remained standing at the edge of the mountain. "Oh yes, she's going to be fun to have around." She turned back to gazing off the side of the Drum Rock. "Off to sea with you... my foolish son."

* * *

Chopper was still sniffling as he followed the Straw Hats back to their ship. They were walking the last bit on foot to accommodate the emotionally spent reindeer. "WAIT! I FORGOT MY MEDICAL BAG!"

 **"Quaff!"** Chopper turned to see Carue holding a familiar blue backpack in his beak.

"Oh… thanks," Chopper said as he took the bag. "Where'd you find it?"

 **"Quack!"** Carue answered.

"You mean it was in the sleigh?"

"Chopper… did you just understand Carue?" Vivi asked.

"Well… I'm originally an animal," Chopper explained.

"That's amazing!" Vivi exclaimed, "So you're just full of interesting talents."

"Shut up, you jerk! Saying stuff like that won't make me happy!" the reindeer stopped dancing and fished into his backpack. "Hmm… this is more than I had in it earlier… it's all packed..."

Nami smiled, "It looks like the doctor knew what you were going to decide all along."

"Doctorine…" Chopper whispered as he turned to looked back at Drum Rock. He started crying again.

"And you're sure you took out all of Wapol's men?" Sabo asked Zoro from the other end of the group.

"Yes, long-nose and I took care of them," the swordsman answered.

"Then why do I feel like we're forgetting something?" Sabo wondered. "We beat Wapol… we beat his crew… What are we missing?"

 _ **"Ye didn't destroy the ship..."**_

"GAH! YOU'RE RIGHT!" Sabo exclaimed. "LUFFY! WE FORGOT TO DESTROY WAPOL'S SHIP!"

"LET'S GO!" Luffy shouted as the two brothers raced off ahead towards Wapol's abandoned ship.

Usopp looked over at Zoro and Sanji, "That does sound… kind of fun…"

"I feel like I barely got to do anything today," Zoro admitted.

"What the hell," Sanji said, "If it's a crew tradition we might as well lend a hand…"

"HEY YOU GUYS! WAIT UP!" the Boatswain, Master Gunner and Ship's Cook raced off after the Captain and Quartermaster.

 **"QUACK!"** Carue crowed as he followed them.

"Carue!" Vivi gasped.

 **"Quack-quack quack!"**

"He says 'smashing Wapol's stuff sounds like fun'..." Chopper translated. He practically bouncing with a giddy smile on his face.

Nami looked over at the excited reindeer, "Well? You're a man too, right? What are you waiting for? Go smash your little heart out."

"YEEEAAAAH!" Chopper cheered as he ran off to join the others.

"Boys," the Navigator scoffed. "No self control."

"I've never seen Carue like that before…" Vivi confessed.

Ayako petulantly kicked a pile of snow, "I'd go too if I had anything that packed any sort of punch…"

Nami, Ayako, and Vivi reached the shore and were greeted by the sound of wanton destruction and uproarious manly laughter.

"Hey Ayako!" Usopp called off the side. "I found Wapol's junk food stash. There are cookies and crackers galore! Come and help me grab it before Luffy finds it!"

The Artist beamed as she dashed through the hippo figurehead's open mouth.

"Here, kid, take this," Usopp instructed as he handed the girl a hammer. "Wapol's got a chest of fancy glass cups and plates with your name on it."

Nami's eye twitched. "And of course the boys are rubbing off on the impressionable children."

"NAMI! NAMI!" Luffy shouted as he ran out onto the deck. "Zoro's trying to cut through the door of Wapol's safe. Sanji said to come tell you that Wapol's rich so there's probably a lot of money inside."

 **Ka-CHING!**

"DON'T YOU DARE SINK THAT SHIP BEFORE I GET THE TREASURE OFF IT!" And like that she was gone.

Vivi was left standing alone on the shore. "I guess this is what I get for being friends with pirates."

 **MUNCH! MUNCH!**

Sabo jumped out of a hole he'd just chewed through the deck then jumped up and kicked the crown off of the hippo figurehead as he landed on top of it. "Well… what do you think?"

Vivi blinked in surprise when she realized that Sabo's outfit had changed since she'd seen him two minutes ago. His blue winter coat and top hat had both taken on a metallic sheen that made them look like they were made of painted plate metal and there were metal rivets lining the seam at the top of his top hat, the two shoulders of his coat and the seam that went down the back of his coat. He also had columns of small gray gears going up the sides of his black boots.

"Well? We need an outside opinion," Sabo prompted.

"It looks… interesting," Vivi admitted. "Between the revolver-rifle, the armor and the gears it looks like you're some kind of robot man cobbled together using old technology."

 **Swish!**

"We're callin' it 'Steampunk'," Bonnie stated as her head popped out of Sabo's top hat. "I had some problems with robots back home but on him it all seems t' work. 'Steampunk' Sabo sounds fittin'."

"Of course, _you're_ the one who finally gives me a decent nickname." Sabo mused.

"Anythin' for you, hon," Bonnie replied as she sank back into her boyfriend.

Sabo looked back at Vivi, "Are you just gonna stand down there or are you going to join in?"

"Um… I'm not much for senseless violence…" the Princess protested.

"I think it'd be a therapeutic," Sabo countered, "If anyone needs a harmless outlet to vent their frustrations… I'd say it's you. Come on… you're one of us, aren't you?"

"But I don't have anything that can do major damage…" Vivi argued as she reluctantly walked through the hippo figurehead's mouth and came out on the deck.

Sabo jumped down and handed her a rifle that he'd picked up off the deck. "Here. Shoot something."

Vivi bit her lip but then movement caught her eye and she looked up to see Wapol's pirate flag fluttering overhead. She aimed rifle up at the flag and fired.

 **BLAM!**

Vivi's shot sailed wide of the flag. "Sorry… I'm not good at this…"

"Nice target though," Sabo mused. He held out a handful of bullets. "Try again."

 **Swish!**

Bonnie's head lurched out of Sabo's left arm and brought her shoulders and arms with it. "This time try t' regulate yer breathin'. Breath in while yer aimin', then breath out an' fire. Also, this time ye know how loud it's gonna be so try not t' jump. That rifle's not shootin' magnum rounds so it won't have as much kick as mine does. An' also, keep the weather in mind. The wind an' pink snow is gonna throw off yer shot. Ye've gotta adjust yer aim t' compensate for it. Aim… just there."

Sabo leaned towards Vivi so Bonnie could point her blue-tinted spectral arm up at the mast.

Vivi lined up her rifle with the spot Bonnie was pointing at, took a breath, let it out and then fired.

 **BLAM!**

The bullet embedded in the mast.

"Atta girl," Bonnie praised her as she slipped back into Sabo.

Vivi felt her chest then glanced over at Sabo. "Oh… my heart's beating faster."

"That's the adrenaline," Sabo informed her as he offered her another bullet. "Keep going until that flag comes down."

Vivi smiled as she aimed her rifle and fired again.

Much fun was had by all of the Straw Hats as they collectively ransacked and laid waste to Wapol's ship.

* * *

Ten minutes later, the Straw Hats headed to the Going Merry with their armed laden full of things they'd plundered from the Bliking before leaving it a sinking wreck.

"Now _this_ is how pirates operate," Zoro said as he carried a barrel of rum under each arm.

 **"Quack!"** Carue waddled behind him with two more barrels tied onto his saddle and a crate of sake on his back.

"Shishishi!" Luffy laughed as he walked with Wapol's refrigerator tied onto his back. "That was fun! We should do that again! But only if the other guys are jerks..."

"I can't believe I found the Twenty MDs Lab…" Chopper remarked as he carried a stack of boxes with red crosses on them in his Heavy Point form. "I don't think I'll ever run out of bandages!"

"With this crew… that'll probably last a week," Nami informed him as she cuddled her large sack of money like it was a newborn baby.

"Once we set sail we can have a big welcome party for Chopper!" Usopp exclaimed as he and Ayako carried arms' full of sugary snacks.

"All at Wapol's expense!" Ayako chirped.

"Somehow I'm not surprised that pig's pantry looked like a grocery store," Sanji commented as he held a spice rack under one arm and sacks of flour, sugar and salt under his other.

"I just hope you're all this efficient at dismantling Baroque Works when we finally get to Alabasta," Vivi admitted as she brought up the rear with Wapol's flag thrown over her shoulder.

"What're you gonna do with that anyway?" Sabo inquired as he walked next to her with a crate of tea tucked under his non-rifle arm. "Use it as toilet paper?"

"I was planning on giving it to you," Vivi answered.

"You're giving me Wapol's flag so that _I_ can use it as toilet paper?" Sabo attempted clarify.

"I suppose you can do that if you want," Vivi replied. "But I thought it would be more beneficial if you used it to explain why you're walking around with an infamous King's Devil Fruit Powers."

Sabo froze and stared at Vivi in shock. He clearly hadn't thought of that.

Vivi stopped next to him. "The Marines will probably be more accepting if you explain that you defended yourself against a pirate who was flying this flag and that you didn't learn he was a King until afterwards. I'm sure the new King of Drum Kingdom will be happy to vouch for you and tell anyone who asks that Wapol abandoned his kingdom over a year ago so he could become a pirate."

"I… wow…" Sabo stammered.

"You're welcome," Vivi said as she draped the flag over Sabo's rifle arm.

 _ **"Hug that girl. She just saved your arse. She's earned it."**_

Sabo hooked his rifle around Vivi and pulled her into a one-armed hug. "Thank you. I didn't even think of that. You just saved my ass."

"After what happened you weren't in the mindset to clean up the mess," the Princess pointed out. "Since we're friends now I wanted to make sure you stay alive... both of you."

"HEY SABO! BONNIE! VIVI! COME ON!" Luffy called out from on the Going Merry's figurehead. "The sooner you guys get on, the sooner we can leave and the sooner we can celebrate!"

Sabo and Vivi smiled then ran to join the others.

The Straw Hats set off and left Drum Kingdom behind them as they once more began following the Eternal Pose to Alabasta.

"Alright everybody," Sanji announced as brought out a tray of steaming mugs, "I got a special hot chocolate recipe from Miss Valentine."

"No alcohol, right?" Sabo asked with a wary glance at Luffy.

"No, it's the regular one," Sanji replied as he handed out the cups.

"TO OUR NEW CREWMATE… TONY TONY CHOPPER!" Luffy shouted.

"CHEERS!" everyone cheered.

And so the party began in earnest.

"Usopp, look at this dance that Johnny and Yosaku taught me!" Luffy exclaimed.

"Whoa! Let me try!" Usopp called out.

"Oh great, now they've got Chopper doing it…" Nami grumbled.

"EEP! I forgot all about my Uncle!" Ayako squeaked.

"Time to break out the hard stuff…" Zoro announced as he pried open one of the barrels he'd gotten from Wapol's ship.

"So… you're okay about leaving Miss Valentine behind?" Vivi asked Sanji.

"She told me her plan while we were making dinner," Sanji replied, "I think she'll be happy there and she said she didn't want to do any more harm to your country."

"THIS IS THE MOST FUN I'VE EVER HAD!" Chopper shouted as he danced along with Luffy and Usopp..

"Shishishishi!" Luffy laughed. He looked back over his shoulder for a moment and saw Sabo sitting off to the side against the railing. His eyes were closed and his new arm was in his lap. Luffy grinned. There was no missing the wide smile on his brother's face.

 _"I've been talking your ear off for two years now. I think it's high time that I learned about you."_

 _ **"As you wish. Where should I start?"**_

 _"I noticed you've got an accent. Where are you from exactly?"_

 _ **"Well, that's an authentic Albion accent. I know it stands out a bit… Luffy used t' say I talked funny… but back home everyone has an accent."**_

 _"I think it's pretty."_

 _ **"Oh… thanks. Er... before I go any further I've got a long overdue bomb t' drop on ye that's gonna be hard t' believe… I'm… not from yer world."**_

 _"Okay."_

 _ **"Okay?"**_

 _"I believe you."_

 _ **"Just like that?"**_

 _"Bonnie, it's you. I'll believe anything you tell me automatically."_

 _ **"..."**_

 _"Bonnie? Are you okay?"_

 _ **"I've been dreadin' this conversation for years. I didn't expect ye to accept it so easily. I was dreadin' the not-Human talk even more an' ye took that really well... I guess I shouldn't be so surprised…"**_

 _"Well? Tell me about your world! You can't dangle something like that in front of me and pull it away."_

 _ **"Well… I was born in Albion… which is part o' a world called Marleybone… which is actually just one o' over a dozen interconnected worlds called the Spiral."**_

 _"Are most of the people there animal-people like you?"_

 _ **"We're the vast majority. About nine out o' ev'ry ten people are Animals but the ratio actually gets even bigger the further out in the Spiral ye go. Marleybone is pretty far out. Most o' the people ye meet there are Dogs or Foxes but there are also Cats an' some Frogs too."**_

 _"Sounds interesting."_

 _ **"I think ye'd actually fit in pretty well there. Some o' the wealthier Dogs dress like you do. Bein' around ye actually reminds me of home a bit…"**_

 _"So how did you wind up here then?"_

 _ **"Er… that's a long story…"**_

 _"I've got time."_

 ** _"Well... there are a couple o' other things I've gotta explain first before I get t' that. First o' all… as I said before… the Spiral is a series of interconnected worlds. Normally we can travel from one to another usin' Storm Gates. Erm… those are hard to explain… but just remember that's the traditional way of inter-world travel. Like goin' over Reverse Mountain to get from the East Blue to the Grand Line."_**

 _"Okay…"_

 ** _"Aside from all the Animals… one o' the main things that sets my world apart from yours is… we've got magic there."_**

 _"MAGIC? You mean like spells and enchantments and that kind of stuff?"_

 ** _"There's all kinds."_**

 _"Can you do magic?"_

 ** _"Er… not anymore… but I can shoot the wings off a baticuda from thirty paces!"_**

 _"I have no idea what that is but it sounds impressive."_

 ** _"God, ye're cute. Anyway, as I told ye… Storm Gates are the traditional method for inter-world travel. Magic is the non-traditional way. Y'see we've got these things called Transportals. They're magic doorways that ye can step through in one world an' come out in another. But runnin' 'em takes a high level o' magic that most pirates don't have an' the fee is really expensive. So most people avoid them in favor o' the more the traditional Storm Gate method which is free providin' ye've got a ship an' the proper Windstone… Ye still with me?"_**

 _"I was until you mentioned Windstones…"_

 ** _"They're a special kind o' key that ye… Nevermind! We're gettin' off track. Two years ago, before all the trouble started, I was workin' as a scout for a famous retired pirate named Avery. My former shipmates Calico Jake and Reedy Mary tracked me down an' said they needed my help for a special mission. They even got me a special rifle t' do the job. Wanna take a wild guess what kind it was?"_**

 _"An Advanced Wheel-lock Rifle with an added scope and custom revolving action."_

 ** _"Aye. Custom made by Lucius Fox himself. But the mission went horribly wrong and it was all a trap. We got blindsided and I woke up in a robot witchdoctor's lab."_**

 _"Ah… your problems with robots…"_

There was a pause before Bonnie spoke again. **_"He_ _used weird techno-magic an' was tryin' to create a special Transportal that would allow travel… b-beyond the Spiral. He was... ready for his first test an'... and I was an expendable prisoner…"_**

 _"Bonnie… it's okay… I can tell where this is going. You can stop."_

 ** _"IT DIDN'T BlOODY WORK! That mad mechanical maniac even admitted that he had no idea where I'd end up! He just shoved my loaded rifle into my hands, wished me luck an' chucked me through!"_**

Sabo began stroking the rifle attached to his arm in an attempt to sooth is distressed girlfriend.

 ** _"It wasn't like a regular Transportal… Mmm… I went flyin' through a blindin' tunnel o' colors… Aaah, that's nice… The next thing I knew I was a rifle… an' then I met yer brother... an' then he stuffed me in a box. So I apologize if I was in a foul mood when we first met."  
_**

 _"I'm sorry Bonnie… I'm sorry you got stuck in that rifle… I'm sorry that we don't have magic here to help you get back home…"_

 ** _"Don't be daft..."_**

 **Swish!**

Bonnie's hands and arms popped out of the rifle followed by her head and shoulders. The fox braced herself on the rifle and then started wiggling and straining until her chest slid out of it. Bonnie stared into Sabo's eyes and gave him a look that spoke volumes. "...I _am_ home."

"Bonnie…"

Bonnie silenced him as she held a spectral finger to his lips. "I met you an' ev'rythin' got better. You were crazy an' stubborn enough t' love a rifle. Ye didn't care about who I was, ye didn't care about what I looked like an' ye didn't care about where I came from. But even then you still cared more about me than anyone ever has. There aren't enough words t' describe how grateful I am for the unconditional love that you showed me. I'll settle for sayin' this: I love you, Sabo… and I always will." Bonnie leaned in and her muzzle went through Sabo's mouth as she sealed her statement with a ghostly kiss.

Sabo smiled as the fox pulled back and then sank back down into the rifle. He glanced across the deck and saw that the party was over and that the others had all passed out at some point. _"Looks like we spent the whole party talking. We've had a long, crazy day. Wanna head to bed?"_

 ** _"Aye. Nearly dyin' wore me out."_**

Sabo stood up and slipped down into the men's quarters leaving a silent deck behind him.

Zoro climbed down from the crow's nest once the couple disappeared below deck. He glanced around him and saw Luffy, Usopp, Ayako and Chopper all passed out in a pile on the middle of the deck. The fourteen year old was cuddling the new doctor like a teddy bear. Nami and Vivi had both fallen asleep on a certain 'feather pillow' that he had tested out a few days prior. Sanji had draped a blanket over the two women and was sleeping in the corner so he was only a shout away.

Zoro stepped over the others and slipped into the anchor room. The Boatswain glanced over his shoulder as the door closed then sat down and drew his swords. He laid the three blades across his lap, took a deep breath and then knocked on each one in turn.

 **Knock... Knock... Knock…**

"Anybody in there?"

* * *

Hopefully that made up for the ending of last chapter. I've got a few big things to discuss here.

First: You're all probably wondering how was Luffy able to 'hear'/'sense' Bonnie in the rifle. Simple, his dormant Color of Observation Haki combined with his still-unexplained special ability to 'hear the voice of all things' that he shares with Gol D. Roger and uses to hear the Sea Kings in the Fishman Island Arc, Zunisha in the Zou Arc and even the Millennial Dragons in the filler arcs. However the two are still manifesting and are interfering with each other which resulted in spotty reception.

Second: Sabo's Devil Fruit is the Munch Munch Fruit. Because nothing says Steampunk more than a guy in victorian era clothing that has rivets and gears lining it and a custom weapon on his arm. It's an underrated power that doesn't work off of brute strength but rather creative use of edible resources. As you've seen, I'm already putting it to good use by sticking Bonnie and Sabo together so they can enter the second stage of their extremely weird relationship. Because, come on, if there's going to be romance in One Piece it can't be a normal straight-forward relationship. It's gotta be weird!

Third: So it turns out Bonnie Anne is the actual Bonnie Anne from Pirate 101. I believe that technically makes this story the first-ever One PiecexPirate 101 Crossover. Originally, I had only planned to name the rifle after my favorite P101 character. But as the story went on she took on a life of her own and I knew I eventually would have to give her an actual character and body. I exaggerated her accent to stress the fact that she has one. Remember that every 'ye' sounds like 'yeh'.

I dropped a few hints last chapter and at the beginning of this one. But the biggest hint was all the way back in the Laboon chapter where Bonnie commented about having been inside 'a weirder whale'. If you've played Pirate 101 you'll probably know the whale I'm talking about. If you _haven't_ played Pirate 101 - that's okay. _This story_ will be centered in the One Piece World with Bonnie Anne as the 'fish out of water' trying to get her Mink-like Animal body back. She'll provide any necessary information to Sabo - who also knows nothing about her world - as the story goes on.

For those of you who are interested in meeting the real Bonnie Anne. The first chapters of Pirate 101 are free to play. Bonnie is literally the second character you meet in the first quest Captain Avery gives you following the tutorial. She takes some getting used to but give her the right Epic Abilities after the Level 8 Promotion Quest and she's lethal. I've spent _years_ traveling the Spiral with that amazing Fox running beside my pirate every step of the way. If you had been through what Bonnie Anne and I have been through together you'd understand why I couldn't just make her a generic One Piece Fox Mink. She would've just been a pale imitation and it would have been a great disservice to one of my favorite characters _ever_.

Actually, I'll extend an open invitation to any of my readers. I'm playing through the Pirate 101 storyline with a new character. Shoot me a PM here if you're interested in playing the game and, if I'm free, I'll join you in the Spiral. I work a full-time day job so I'm more likely to be available on weekends. I wholeheartedly recommend Pirate 101 to any One Piece fan. It's kid-friendly but there's an interesting storyline, the characters are fun and colorful, it's chocked full of movie and historical references and the battle system requires strategy.

Last: You'll notice that the flashback at the beginning of this chapter revolved around Luffy. That's because next week I'm going to be launching a side-story called _**Brother on Board: Gunshots**_ which will be an actual crossover told from Bonnie Anne's perspective. The premiere chapter will be the full version of how Bonnie got sent from the Spiral to the One Piece World. I'll post that on February 6th before skipping a week and posting the first chapter of the Alabasta Arc on the 20th.

Silver signing off...


	35. Bon Clay

_**BROTHER ON BOARD**_

PippinSqueaks - I'm glad you liked it. It's a personal favorite of mine. I've had most of it written in my head since the Straw Hats entered the Grand Line.

The Patient One - Thanks for helping me out with this chapter. The snowbirds were just to hammer in that Wapol is a remorseless jerk who doesn't care about anybody. Everything in Sabo's Munch Munch Fruit stomach is digested in around 24-hours. But if Bonnie is Sabo's arm then she's not _in_ Sabo's stomach is she? I think the parts that Sabo/Wapol use for their normal appearance don't get digested because they're currently part of their body.

Babyuknowme13 - Pirate 101 is fun. But I'm keeping the worlds separate for now with the exception of my favorite dimensional traveling fox.

UnderTakerxXxMadnesS - Just making sure that was clear. I still don't fully understand how Luffy's 'voices' ability works but I thought I did a decent job in showing it manifesting during his training years.

TheVampireDragon - The Munch Munch Fruit will hopefully allow me to be extra creative with Sabo's usage of the powers - besides having Bonnie as Sabo's left arm, of course. Bonnie's a little cautious so she won't pop out unless she knows someone is trustworthy which you'll see that this chapter. You don't have to worry about the Pirate 101 thing. I'm just including Bonnie Anne from the world. She'll make occasional references to it but knowledge of that game is not essential to continue reading this story.

Guest - Well... never say never. I'm sure Franky and Sabo come up with a substitute.

avatoa - Yup. Bonnie Anne's awesome. I'm glad you're so accepting of their bizarre inter-species relationship.

TheREALMightyKamina - Bonnie can only physically interact with her rifle so no ghost punch. Now I believe _someone_ promised me their first born child if Sabo stumbled upon a Holy Hand Grenade. I'm in need of a baby to cover my end of a deal that I made with Rumpelstiltskin so fork it over!

The Keeper of Worlds - I wasn't actually going to admit that and spoil the surprise, now was I? I actually had an idea for Nojiko's hair ribbon where it was going to show up on ghost-Bonnie's arm as the only thing that wasn't blue. But I forgot to include it. And I'm not going to go George Lucas and change things that are done so that's a lost opportunity. The ribbon is still on the rifle. I made a point to have Nami mention it in this chapter. Also, thanks for reading and reviewing Gunshots!

Fairy of the Friz - Ace is next chapter. And the first encounter between Ace and rifle-Bonnie is going to be the second chapter of Brother on Board: Gunshots. I plan to keep ASL together longer than in canon.

Lightsbane1905 - Thanks. I've been striving to make this fic match the tone of the original series. Glad to know my changes are fitting properly.

Narya Anima - If you do end up making fan art let me know where you post it. I can't draw to save my life so unfortunately that's something I can't do for this story. It's gonna be a while before Ace actually meets the real Bonnie. But in the meantime, the second chapter of Brother on Board: Gunshots will be Bonnie's first encounter with Ace. Spoiler alert: It doesn't go well!

Dr. Zenkai - Get out of my head! You're spoiling the story for yourself! The Pirate 101 aspects won't be a large part of this story. The short version is that Bonnie was thrown through an inter-dimensional portal by a mad scientist but because it wasn't constructed properly her body couldn't make it all the way through and she wound up trapped in the rifle. I've posted the first chapter of Gunshots which has a more in-depth version of how Bonnie got to the One Piece world. But it also includes a lot more of Bonnie's Pirate 101 backstory. (I fixed the 'panty' bit. Thanks for pointing it out.)

Johnny Spectre - You'll learn in this chapter that Sabo's stomach-situation is an entity all of its own.

Bluejay Blaze - Ker-shishishi! Wapol go boom! There are a large number of anime's that I haven't seen. But whenever I try to start a new one I end up getting distracted and other things (like this story) fall through the cracks.

King-Dorado - That electro-bullets were actually a hint that Bonnie came from the Spiral. Pirate 101 is a family friendly game they don't have actual bullets there. Instead, the guns are 'spark throwers' which more-or-less taze people instead of blowing bloody holes in them.

kid - Thanks! It's probably my favorite too. It included a major change to Sabo _and_ the One Piece World. And fully revealed Bonnie. I'm really proud of it.

TexasBean - I'm glad your a fan of the Strangest Couple Ever. I'm having fun with my tweaks in the series.

Miqila - Nope, she's okay! From what I've heard so far I managed to save Bonnie in true One Piece fashion. I also figured I needed some humor after putting everyone through the emotional gauntlet with the goodbye scene so I did my best to up the comedy after Sabo saved Bonnie. Sabo accepted Bonnie-the-rifle so easily because she landed consecutive kill-shots on Luffy. Random guns don't have the kind of accuracy. The scene where Ace stuffs Bonnie in a box is going to be chapter 2 of my Gunshots story. I'll be posting that next week. Remember, Bonnie only had three bullets when she first started firing at Luffy. Wanna take a guess who got shot with the other three? I WISH I could draw. Try to picture bolts like the ones around Wapol's mouth around the top of Sabo's hat and his shoulders. His coat now looks like blue metal armor and his forearm is a rifle.

Rikaeus - Good playing with you on Pirate 101. I managed to finish the Monquista storyline and now I'm about to head to Valencia for the first time. There's a long way to go between Drum Kingdom and Big Mom's tea party. It will be safe to assume that Bonnie won't be in the same state when they get to that point.

demonlvr - I've been toying with the idea of Kuina's spirit being inside Wado Ichimonji since that sword is her legacy that Zoro is carrying on in her name. And since Bonnie's a ghost she's the only one that can see her. What do you think?

luvBonnieAnne - I'm glad you decided to give this chapter a shot and I'm glad you liked my version of the Drum Kingdom Arc so much. I'd like to think that I made full use of what was more or less a side arc in the original so I could develop my Sabo and his strange relationship. As usual, you got all my references. Yes, those were P101 Spark Thrower rounds. And I'd also like to thank you for reading the first chapter of Gunshots

Guest - Yup. Bonnie Anne is Bonnie Anne. SURPRISE!

OrangeFrito - I don't have a problem with cats... but none of the Cat characters from Pirate 101 spoke to me so strongly that I decided to interject them into another world so I could play around with their character. Hopefully you'll still enjoy Sabo the Furry and Bonnie the Fox.

animefan29 - Thanks! It looks like my original brand of madness matches up pretty well with One Piece canon.

deant33 - Unfortunately, Sabo and Koala didn't have the years training together under Dragon to bring them close enough to become a potential couple. The fact that they've only met for fifteen minutes in Loguetown and Sabo's girlfriend is currently _living inside him_ should probably tell you that there's not much of a chance in that particular ship sailing.

The Inkasters - Great to hear from you again! I'm glad you think my chapter matched the tone of the series so well. But I couldn't _actually_ kill Bonnie. Some readers have gotten surprisingly attached to that rifle. I already had a lynch mob threatening me just for teasing her death. While this story has been primarily focusing on the comedic and creative aspects on One Piece... I'm happy to know that my first foray into writing serious One Piece drama was a success.

 **BOB**

 **Bon Clay-**

The Straw Hats left Drum Kingdom behind as they followed the Eternal Pose to Alabasta. Their mission on the kingdom of snow had been completed a day ago and now their navigator's illness was long gone and would no longer be a problem thanks to their new ship's doctor.

"Hey Usopp…" the doctor in question called out as he made his way over to the master gunner as he and their Artist shared some rice crackers on the deck. "Can you explain this 'brother' thing to me?"

"Sure," Usopp agreed.

"I'm still coming to terms with it myself…" Ayako mumbled.

"We're heading to Alabasta to meet Luffy and Sabo's brother… right?" the reindeer queried.

"That's one reason why we're heading there," Usopp said, "We're also going so Vivi can stop a war that's being caused by the criminal organization that Ayako and Miss Valentine were once in."

"I got that part…" Chopper told him, "I'm confused because Luffy and Sabo don't look alike at all…" The reindeer motioned to the lanky, dark haired rubber pirate sitting on the figurehead then pointed at his much taller, blonde-haired brother that was aiming his new arm off the side of the ship. "I don't think they're actually related…"

"They may not be blood related," Usopp admitted, "But that doesn't mean they're not brothers. Back before we met Ayako on Little Garden, Sabo and Vivi used to argue a lot. During one of their arguments Sabo mention that he hated that family he was born into and considers Luffy and Ace to be his real family… the family he found himself. The three of them shared a sake cup and swore to become brothers and that's all that matters to them."

"Family he found…" Chopper repeated mostly to himself as he thought back to his old herd who hadn't accepted him but the quack doctor who had and became his real father. "Okay… I think I understand. But then why do _you_ call Sabo 'Sabro'? You didn't share a sake cup too, did you?"

"No, that's different," Usopp informed him. "I call him 'bro' because I look up to him. He's a distance fighter like me so I can relate to him better than Luffy, Zoro and Sanji. I still remember the first time we fought together. It was just the two of us defending my village from over two dozen vicious blood thirsty pirates. I pointed out how outnumbered we were… and do you know what he said? 'They should've brought more'. They charged us and he didn't back down. I followed his lead and together we took out all but one of them without getting a scratch on us. I'll never forget how brave I felt fighting beside him. I call him Sabro because he's a brave warrior of the sea and I just know that if I keep following his lead… I'll eventually be one too."

"You were really brave on Little Garden," Ayako pointed out. "I think you're on your way Usopp."

"I wanna be brave too…" Chopper confessed. He looked off to the side in time to see a familiar spectral fox pop out of Sabo's shoulder and tell him where to aim. "Someone you look up to…"

The same fox had shown him that it was possible for animals to live happily with humans. And he hadn't forgotten how brave she'd been in the face of her own death. She had been strong enough to say goodbye to everybody and even made sure to lead her mate to his new Devil Fruit so he'd be alright without her.

Chopper's face lit up with sudden inspiration. "BON- _NEE_!"

Usopp grinned, "Ooo, that's good!"

The master gunner, artist and doctor shared a look then shouted out at the odd couple by the railing. "SA- _BRO_! BON- _NEE_!"

Sabo blinked and turned around to face the three younger pirates.

"Do ye mind explainin' this 'nee' thing?" Bonnie requested.

"Well… 'nee' is short for 'oneesan' which means 'sister'," Sabo explained. "Sort of like how 'bro' is short for 'brother'."

"Aw, I'm flattered," the fox remarked, "Just as long as I'm not _your_ sister. I can handle the fox-human interspecies bit an' I think we're both comin' t' terms with the ghost livin' inside ye part. But there is no way in hell I'm snoggin' my brother."

"Snogging?" Sabo repeated.

"It means prolonged kissin'," Bonnie stated. "Ye already look like ye're from Marleybone. I'm gonna teach ye some o' the vocabulary. But the point is, incest is a line that I'm not crossin'."

 **"Good to know one of you at least has some semblance of decency…"**

Sabo and Bonnie looked up in time to see Zoro climb down from rigging. Bonnie shot Zoro a glare then sank back into Sabo and left the Quartermaster glaring after the Boatswain on his own as he made his way over to Usopp, Ayako and Chopper.

"It took a while but I've finished my inspection," he announced. "Even though there was a battle going on around it… the Going Merry doesn't have a scratch on it."

"YAY!" the three younger pirates cheered.

"And I think we have Ayako's brown paint to thank for that," Zoro continued. The Artist blushed faintly, unused to actually working and receiving praise for it. "I know you're our crew artist… but by my authority as this ship's Bosun… I'd like to offer you an official position as our new Ship Guard. Your job will be ensuring that the Going Merry stays safe while we're away from it. What do you say? Are you up for the extra responsibility?"

"Normally I'd automatically refuse any extra work…" the lazy artist admitted. "But if doing a little extra means that I can keep the Merry sailing… I'll do it."

"YEAH!" Usopp and Chopper cheered as they dragged Ayako and an extremely reluctant Zoro into a group hug.

"Now we can celebrate with _more_ rice crackers!" Usopp exclaimed.

"Am I the only one that thinks it's weird to see him being active?" Sabo asked out loud. "He inspected the ship instead of taking a nap like usual. I didn't think he'd take the Bosun thing so seriously."

 _ **"** **It's not a bad idea though..."**_ Bonnie supplied. _**"The kid's got talent but she's still only fourteen. If we know we're walkin' into a dangerous situation we can always leave 'er t' guard the ship."**_

 _"I suppose that works,"_ Sabo reasoned as he turned back to the railing. _"But back to shooting… I gave up my trigger fingers when I made your rifle my new arm. We're gonna have to work together at shooting."_

 **Swish!**

Bonnie's head and shoulders popped out of Sabo's shoulder. "Don't worry, hon. Ye just have t' point me in the right direction an' keep me loaded. I'll take care o' the rest. But I'd suggest bracin' the rifle with yer other arm. Ye have less leverage t' combat the rifle's recoil."

Sabo nodded then eyed Bonnie's 'blue' shoulders and how they were peaking out of the wide neck hole of her blouse. "Hey Bonnie... I noticed that you've been popping out of me fairly frequently and sometimes with a bit more than your head. What's that like? Is there a reason you can't get your whole body out?"

"Er... it's hard t' explain," Bonnie admitted. "But I'll give it a shot." Sabo smirked at the word 'shot'. "When I was dyin' an' became a full-bodied ghost for the first time... I was able t' phase through things. I retained that ability after ye ate my rifle. I told ye how my rifle was my anchor... well now since the rifle's part of yer body, yer whole body's my anchor. That's what allows me t' pop out from anywhere."

Bonnie sank back down into Sabo's shoulder.

 **Swish!**

Bonnie's head popped out of Sabo's stomach. She grimaced and her neck, shoulders and arms slowly followed her head. "The problem is that I don't think I'm suppose t' be able t' separate meself from my anchor. It feels like... like I've got Luffy hanging off o' me tryin' t' hold me back. It's like rubber. The further out I get the stronger the force tryin' t' pull me back in becomes. I can only stretch my body out so far before I get pulled back in by the recoil."

"Why didn't you say so in the first place?" Sabo asked. "I'll give you a hand. Grab the rifle."

Bonnie blinked as Sabo held his rifle arm out in front of him. The rifle was the only thing the fox spirit could physically interact with so she grabbed hold of it.

"Nghh..." Sabo and Bonnie both strained as the Munch Munch Man slowly began to pull more of his ghostly fox girlfriend's body out of his stomach. Slowly but surely Sabo manged to drag Bonnie's chest out of his stomach.

"Hey! Sabro's pulling Bon-nee out of him!" Usopp called out.

"GO SABRO!" Ayako and Chopper both cheered as they turned to watch the extremely odd couple.

Sabo lifted up his leg and braced it against the side of the ship for more leverage. Sabo strained and used his rifle arm to pull more and more of his girlfriend's body out of his stomach and up his body. Bonnie's stomach followed her chest but Sabo kept pulling until Bonnie's waist came out and the fox was eye level with him.

Bonnie gave an uncomfortable wiggle then smiled as her 'blue' tail swung out from Sabo's stomach and wrapped around er side. "That's much better."

"I don't think I can pull you out much further from this angle," Sabo confessed. He was actually beginning to feel the resistance pulling back on Bonnie.

"Don't worry, Sabo," Bonnie reassured him. "This is already amazin' progress." She pushed her rifle forward and the horizontal side of the barrel jammed against Sabo's big mouth. Bonnie leaned in and planted a kiss on the opposite side of the barrel from her boyfriend's lips.

Sabo blinked in surprise and Bonnie let go of the rifle. The ghost fox when shooting back into Sabo's stomach like a recoiling Luffy. Sabo was thrown off balance by no longer having something to pull against and toppled over onto his back.

 **THUD!**

"Heh... we'll keep working on that..." Sabo resolved as he laid flat on the deck while Usopp, Ayako and Chopper all cheered and applauded. Zoro stood nearby and shook his head at the absurdity of the situation.

Nami and Vivi were standing together outside the galley. Sabo's experiment with his ghostly girlfriend had drawn their attention.

Nami rolled her eyes. "Strangest. Couple. Ever."

"Hypothetically speaking… do you think there's a chance that Sabo would ever be interested in a normal, human girl?" Vivi inquired.

The pirate looked over at the princess. "When I first met Sabo I tried flirting with him… he forced me away at gunpoint and said his girlfriend didn't appreciate my advances. I later learned that his girlfriend was his rifle. At that point I figured he was just crazy and that he wasn't attracted to women at all." Nami shook her head and shivered. "But that changed when he screwed my sister."

"Wh-what!?" Vivi sputtered. "But… what about Bonnie?"

"Are you kidding?" Nami replied. "I'm pretty sure it was the riflegeist's idea. Do you see that red ribbon tied around the rifle's barrel? That was hers. I don't like to think about how close the three of them may have gotten… but I'm under the impression that Nojiko was a special case."

"Oh…" Vivi said as she watched Sabo pull himself up and trudge back over to the railing.

"Although…" Nami added as a smirk spread across her face. "You may be pleased to learn that Nojiko is calm, patient… and has blue hair. So maybe he has a type?"

Vivi's face went red, "I wasn't… I'm not… I was just curious! I said hypothetically!"

Nami was distracted from teasing Vivi when Sanji emerged from the galley with a tray of drinks.

"Ladies, can I interest you in an afternoon drink?" the cook offered. "We've been having a lot of chocolate lately so I decided it was time for something healthier. I decided to use our fruit before it goes bad and made you ladies smoothies." Sanji used his free hand to serve an elaborate fruit smoothie with a straw to both women.

"Mmmmm! This is great Sanji!" Nami exclaimed after taking a sip. "Great job!"

"I am so pleased to hear you say that!" Sanji gushed. "And Vivi, Princess, how do you like yours?"

"It's very good Sanji," Vivi replied, "It's rare for me to have a cool, refreshing drink like this."

"As long as we have fruit in stock, I can make those for you whenever you want," Sanji assured her. "Enjoy ladies. Now I need to hand out drinks to the others."

The Ship's Cook headed down the stairs and stopped briefly to give Carue a small barrel with a straw sticking out of it then made his way over to the group consisting of Zoro, Usopp, Ayako and Chopper.

"Alright, gang, I've got drinks," Sanji addressed them, "Ladies first, Little Miss Ayako, this is for you…" The cook presented the artist with a fancy smoothie that had whipcream and a cherry on top. "And these are for you two…" Usopp and Chopper were given much less fancy smoothies. "I've also got bendy straws for you three…" The cook stuck a straw into each of the three smoothies. "Enjoy!"

"Wow! Thanks Sanji!" the young trio gushed.

"Whoever finishes last has to clean the dishes!" Usopp called out. The three immediately began slurping down their smoothies.

Sanji turned to Zoro and stuffed a rum bottle into his hand, "I realize that you wouldn't appreciate the effort I put into making a smoothie so I got you booze."

"Whatever," Zoro grunted, "I didn't need anything special."

"Yay! I win!" Ayako exclaimed as she finished off her smoothie. "No extra work! GAAH! Brain freeze!"

"In that case, you can give this soup to your uncle," Sanji offered as he gave the artist a steaming bowl which had previously been surrounded by smoothie glasses.

"Thanks Sanji!" Ayako chirped.

"Oh yeah, what happened with that guy?" Zoro wondered as Ayako headed for the anchor room. "He wasn't down in the men's quarters."

"He caught a cold from being left alone on the ship," Chopper stopped drinking to report. "Ayako and I moved him to the anchor room so no one catches it."

"HAH! DONE!" Usopp crowed. "You lose Chopper! That's what you get for taking your eye off the prize!"

"Aaawww…" Chopper groaned.

"Don't break any of the dishes, new guy," Sanji instructed as he turned and headed to Sabo with the two remaining smoothies. "Oi, this is for you."

Sabo turned and took the offered glass with his good and then stared down at the fancy smoothie in surprise. "This looks like something you'd serve Nami or Vivi…"

"Your new situation has my chivalrous nature in a conundrum," Sanji explained. "One of my biggest regrets when we nearly lost Bonnie Anne was that I hadn't been able to dote on her properly. So in order to rectify that… as long as she's living inside you, I'll just have to pamper her through you."

 **Swish!**

Bonnie's head popped out of the front of Sabo's top hat. "Would that actually work? My senses are all tied t' the rifle… I haven't tasted anything but gunpowder in years."

"But now you're tied to me too," Sabo pointed out. "Have you tasted any of the other stuff I've eaten?"

Bonnie shook her head. "Ye've been eatin' really weird stuff. I haven't thought about tryin'."

"Only one way to find out," Sanji advised. "Drink up."

Bonnie closed her eyes and screwed up her face in deep concentration as Sabo sipped the smoothie. "Mmmm… I'm gettin'... fruit…" Bonnie reported. "Oh… that's good… reminds me o' the Yum I used t' drink back home… but there's no minty aftertaste." Bonnie opened her eyes and smiled at the cook. "Thanks Sanji! Ye've outdone yerself!"

"Of course Bonnie-channe, I live to serve."

Bonnie blinked and repeated what she'd heard. "Chan?"

"I base my nicknames for women off of the classic honorifics," the love cook explained. "I call Nami 'Nami-swan' because she reminds me of a beautiful swan but also because of the classic 'san' which in her case means 'Miss'. I prefer to call Vivi 'Princess' but I could also refer to her as 'Vivi-hime' which means the same thing. I can switch between calling Ayako 'Little Miss Ayako' and 'Ayako-chan' because they're more-or-less the same. For _your_ personalized Sanji Nickname I've decided to fuse your name 'Anne' with the classic 'chan'... and so now you're 'Bonnie-channe'."

"First Bon- _nee_... now Bonnie-channe…" Bonnie recounted, "All these nicknames make me feel like I'm in Mooshu." Bonnie smirked, "I suppose I should return the favor an' take over for Miss Valentine by callin' ye 'Mr. Prince'."

Sanji blinked then smiled, "By all means," he encouraged her. "Now if you'll excuse me… I've got to get this last one to the Captain."

Sanji walked off and Sabo casually sat down against the railing. "You know… Sanji's got a nickname for you… Usopp, Ayako and Chopper all have a nickname for you… Nami's got a number of unpleasant nicknames for you… I'm starting to feel a little left out."

Bonnie sighed to herself the pushed herself further out from Sabo's top hat and hung upside down passed the brim so she was looking her boyfriend in the eye. "If it really means that much t' ye… _You_ an' _only you_ … can call me 'Annie'." With that, the fox slipped back into Sabo.

Sabo had a thoughtful look on his face as he idly sipped his smoothie. "Annie, huh? I seem to remember you giving Luffy a lot of grief the one time he called you that."

 _ **"I didn't know ye then… Now I do…"**_

"Feel like sharing the story behind that?" Sabo inquired.

 _ **"Sure… why not…"**_

 **[JS AN: See Brother on Board: Gunshots - Chapter 1 for the story behind Bonnie Anne's real name.]**

Sanji had finally made it up to the front deck with his last smoothie. "Oi Luffy, I've got a drink for you. I'm surprised you held still so long while I handed the rest out to the others."

"..." Luffy continued to stare silently off the front of the ship.

"Oi! Yours has extra bananas in it!" Sanji called out. "What's with you?"

"There's a dot flying towards us," Luffy stated.

"A dot?" Sanji repeated as he squinted in the direction that Luffy was looking. He was eventually able to make out a speck on the horizon. "Oh… so there is. Any idea what it could be?"

"Feels familiar," Luffy admitted as he reached back and snagged his smoothie off of Sanji's tray. He guzzled down his drink while they both waited for the speck to get closer. Eventually they made out a pair of wings on the speck and something riding on it's back.

"Oh, it's the turkey and the monkey!" Sanji realized.

Luffy beamed in sudden realization, "HEY GUYS! NEW BOUNTIES FROM BAROQUE WORKS!"

Sabo and Zoro shared a quick glance then raced for the front deck.

"YEAH! NEW BOUNTIES!" Usopp cheered. "I'll probably have one this time!"

"What's a bounty?" Chopper asked as he followed Usopp.

"I sign that you're a tough pirate," Usopp answered. He stopped and knocked on the anchor room door. "Come on Ayako! They most likely gave you one too!"

"Coming!" the artist replied as she followed her two friends up to the front deck.

"Here we go again," Nami grumbled as she and Vivi went after the others at a less enthusiastic pace.

 **BOB**

The Unluckies eventually landed inside the ring that the Straw Hats had made on the front deck.

Sanji presented the otter and the vulture each with a smoothie, "Here, hopefully these will make up for what happened last time." True to form, Mr. 13's smoothie was rather simple while Miss Friday's was much fancier.

"I'm still suspicious about Miss All Sunday's motivations," Vivi insisted.

 **"Ca-caw!"** Miss Friday stated.

"Um… she says they're none of your business," Chopper translated sheepishly.

The Unluckies turned to glance at Chopper while Vivi blustered.

"Hold on… does Crocodile know that we're still alive?" Nami demanded.

Mr. 13 shook his head.

 **"Caw-caw. Craaw!"** Miss Friday supplied.

"She says Mr. 0 sent Mr. 2 to assassinate Mr. 3 because he didn't like his attitude during their snail call."

Ayako glanced over at Sanji, "What did you say on this snail call?"

"I had no idea who was calling at the time," Sanji confessed, "And then those two attacked me while I was in the middle of it. I told Mr. 0 that the Straw Hats hadn't been completely dead but that I'd fixed it. But he wasn't happy."

"At least we've got him with us," Usopp reasoned, "We just have to keep our eyes peeled for Mr. 2."

Sabo looked over at Vivi, "She didn't tell Mr 0 that we're alive… and like it or not she's also the reason you learned his identity. We don't know why she joined the organization in the first place and I doubt her pets will tell us. But it looks like she's trying to bring down Baroque Works from the inside."

Mr. 13 pulled out a stack of papers and handed them to Sabo then he and his partner turned to their smoothies and started drinking.

"Alright… let's see…" Sabo resolved as he glanced at the stack of Wanted Posters. "First up… Luffy… you beat an Officer Agent with Devil Fruit Powers worth ten and made another one without powers turn traitor which was worth seven..."

WANTED DEAD: 'STRAW HAT' MONKEY D. LUFFY 47,000,000 BERRIES

"Hmm… it'll get bigger when we get to Alabasta and I beat up Crocodile," Luffy decided.

"Here's mine…" Sabo said, "I beat two Officer Agents with powers… that's ten a piece…"

WANTED DEAD: 'NOBLE PIRATE' SABO 43,000,000 BERRIES

"I'm catching up, little brother," Sabo noted. "Although… I wonder if she'd be willing to change my name to 'Steampunk' Sabo..."

"Quit wasting time," Zoro ordered, "What's mine?"

"Of the three of us… yours went up the most," Sabo remarked, "You beat me and I was worth twenty-three… but I think she's just humoring you since I'm not dead…"

WANTED DEAD: 'PIRATE HUNTER' RORONOA ZORO 41,000,000 BERRIES

"That's more like it," Zoro commented. "Now I should be able to beat yours when we get to Alabasta."

"Not if I have anything to say about it," Sabo retorted, "OH! Sanji… yours went up the most of anybody's. I guess she's taking you beating up her pets personally. They were both worth twenty…"

WANTED DEAD: 'LOVE COOK' SANJI 40,000,000 BERRIES

"Sorry about that you two," Sanji apologized, "But it looks like I've entered the game in a big way!"

"Did I get one this time?" Usopp asked.

"Ah… yup and so did Ayako," Sabo announced. "She got twenty for turning traitor and you got ten for melting the wax."

WANTED DEAD: 'ROGUE ARTIST' MISS GOLDENWEEK 20,000,000 BERRIES

WANTED DEAD: 'BRAVE WARRIOR' USOPP 10,000,000 BERRIES

"Aw… only ten…" Usopp complained. "That means I'm gonna have to actually fight an Officer Agent when we get to Alabasta..."

"And Nami, Vivi, yours stayed the same," Sabo added.

WANTED DEAD: 'CAT BURGLAR' NAMI 9,000,000 BERRIES

WANTED DEAD: 'MISS WEDNESDAY NEFERTARI VIVI 50,000,000 BERRIES

"Whatever," Nami grumbled. "I don't even want a bounty."

 **"Quack…"** Carue let out a disappointed whine.

"He's upset at being overlooked," Chopper stated.

"It's okay Carue," Vivi reassured him, "You can share mine."

"Before our bounties totaled one hundred thirty million berries…" Sabo concluded, "But now that's doubled and our total is two hundred sixty million. Vivi's is still the biggest but four of us are within ten million berries of hers. Looks like it's gonna be open season on Officer Agents when we get to Alabasta."

 **"Caw-caw!"** Miss Friday called out while Mr. 13 held out a final paper to Zoro.

"She says 'that's why the boss lady included this'..." Chopper translated.

A wide, shark-like predatory grin appeared on Zoro's face as he read the paper. "Well… if we needed any more proof that she wants to bring down Baroque Works from the inside… we just got it. She's put bounties on the heads of all the remaining Officer Agents."

MR. 0 - 50,000,000 BERRIES

MR. 1 - 40,000,000 BERRIES

MISS DOUBLE FINGER - 30,000,000 BERRIES

MR. 2 - 35,000,000 BERRIES

MR. 4 - 17,000,000 BERRIES

MISS MERRY CHRISTMAS - 20,000,000 BERRIES

"Looks like she's given us extra motivation for when we get to Alabasta," Sabo reasoned. "And if she's showing us this… that means our remaining enemies are likely to be waiting for us there."

"Would you mind bringing a smoothie to Miss All Sunday as a thank you?" Sanji asked the Unluckies.

"..." Mr. 13 silently stared at him for a moment… then nodded.

Sanji dashed off and returned less than a minute later with a small barrel filled with his fruity drink which he presented to the otter. "Fly fast to make sure the fruit doesn't go bad."

Mr. 13 took the barrel and hopped on Miss Friday's back then the Unluckies flew off towards Alabasta.

"I CALL DIBS ON MR. 1!" Zoro called out as soon as they were gone.

"What?" Sabo asked.

"You got to fight your King and Luffy's got a date with Crocodile," Zoro pointed out, "Well, I'm calling dibs on Mr. 1. He's got the biggest bounty of everyone else."

"Then I've got Mr. 2," Sanji quickly announced.

"You jerks… we're not even there yet," Sabo complained as he snatched the sheet from Zoro. "In that case… I'm gonna take down Mr. 4 _and_ Miss Merry Christmas."

"You're really gonna fight them both alone?" Usopp asked.

 **Swish!**

Bonnie popped out of Sabo's shoulder, "An' what makes ye think he'll be alone? He's got me!"

"Unless, of course, _you_ would like to team up with us?" Sabo suggested. "Then maybe we'll both go up thirty-seven million."

"Uh… maybe…" Usopp answered noncommittally.

"Who am I supposed to fight?" Chopper questioned. "I wanna be a tough pirate with a bounty too!"

"Process of elimination leaves you with Miss Double Finger," Ayako informed him. "I've never met her but I've heard she's really strong. Good luck."

"Boys," Nami groused, "No one cares about your stupid dick measuring contest."

"SAYS THE ONE WITH THE SMALLEST DICK!" Luffy shouted.

Everyone froze and then as one turned to stare at their clueless Captain.

"What?" Luffy asked.

"Even _I_ know why that's wrong…" the fourteen year old artist piped up.

"You know what…" a red-faced Nami said as she smirked and looked over at Sabo, "This sounds like a Sabo problem. Sabo, would you be so kind as to explain to Captain Dumbass why his last statement is one of the most moronic things he's ever said?"

"But I…" a pale Sabo protested.

"Yup! Totally a Sabo problem!" Zoro quickly agreed.

"Come on, everyone," Sanji called out, "I'll get started on dinner early."

The Straw Hats quickly left the front deck leaving the Quartermaster alone with his brother.

"Uh Bonnie… a little help…"

"Don't look at me," Bonnie replied, "He's yer brother. I'm not givin' 'im the talk. Good luck, though." The fox promptly vanished back into her boyfriend.

"Sabo… what are we supposed to talk about?" Luffy asked as he scratched his hat in confusion.

"God damn it, Nami…" Sabo grumbled as he rubbed his forehead while preparing for the most awkward conversation of his life.

 **BOB**

The next day, Sanji was confronting Luffy about some missing food.

"What… I don't know what you're talking about…" Luffy mumbled who was acting notably shifty.

"Then why won't you look me in the eye?" the cook demanded. "What's with the shifty expression, huh? Answer me this, _Captain_ … When I locked up the fridge last night there was still enough dinosaur meat left in it to last us until Alabasta. Why was the refrigerator ransacked and left empty?"

"Mmmurp…" Luffy attempted to stifle a burp and continued to avoid eye contact.

"You're a terrible liar," Sanji informed him. He blinked then leaned in and pointed to the edge of his mouth. "Oh, you've got something on your face there…"

"GAH! LEFTOVERS!" Luffy shrieked.

"I KNEW IT!" Sanji hollered as he pulled his leg back for a kick and prepared to dispense justice.

"SANJI! WAIT!" Sabo interrupted as he ran in and planted himself in between his brother and the angry cook. "Look... I know Luffy's eating habits better than anyone… and I know he's guilty… but I can't let you punish him for this one. This time it's not his fault."

Sanji folded his arms across his chest, "This I've gotta hear…"

"It's my fault… I'm still getting used to my new Devil Fruit Powers," Sabo explained. "One of the side effects seems to be that I get hungry more often. I swear I tried to curb my appetite. I ate three cannonballs, a barrel and a length of rope… but I was still starving. I even went to Chopper to see if something was wrong with me..."

Chopper looked back over his shoulder from his perch on the railing where he, Usopp, Ayako and Carue were trying to act nonchalant while fishing. "I discovered that Sabro actually has _two_ stomachs."

"Two stomachs?" Sanji repeated.

"Yeah…" Sabo confirmed, "The first one is my normal stomach which makes me hungry and digests regular food. But my second stomach grew when I ate the Munch Munch Fruit. That's the one that stores all the weird stuff I eat so I can incorporate it into my body. But no matter how much I put in my second stomach… it doesn't satisfy my first one. So.. I went for a late night snack..."

"I put a lock on the fridge to prevent that sort of thing!" Sanji insisted.

"Yeah… I ate that too…" Sabo admitted, "Sorry... Again though, I only intended to have a quick snack. But Luffy caught me and he wanted a snack too. I tried to stop him but you know how he gets… we ended up tearing the door off of the refrigerator. And well… that's when things sort of spiraled out of control… We didn't want the food to go bad overnight so we tried to eat it all… then Usopp, Chopper, Carue and Ayako showed up and we made a late night party out of it."

"YOU RAT!" Usopp exclaimed.

"Don't worry Sanji!" Ayako called out, "We'll catch some fish to replace what we ate!"

 **"Quack!"** Carue agreed.

"Damn it… none of you have any self control…" Sanji grumbled.

"I'll take responsibility for this one," Sabo told him. "You can kick me if you think it'll serve a purpose."

Sanji growled, "You know I can't do that because of your passenger." The cook glared at Sabo's left arm. "Well? What do you have to say for yourself? I half-expected it from the rest of these miscreants but I thought _you_ were more responsible."

 **Swish!**

A sheepish Bonnie Anne popped out from Sabo's left arm above her rifle. "I never actually got a chance t' taste the dinosaur meat before... I wanted t' give it a shot…"

"Heh… shot…" Sabo chuckled quietly.

Sanji sighed and shook his head. "It's against my nature to force someone to go hungry. And I absolutely hate to waste food. If seven of the twelve of us got to eat it then I guess it wasn't a complete waste…"

"I made sure no one touched the dry stock," Bonnie supplied. "So at least there's somethin' left… but anythin' that was edible right then got eaten… Sorry…"

Sanji glared at Sabo, "If you didn't have a lady living inside you… I'd kick your face in. I guess I'll have to scrape together a decent lunch for a dozen with whatever's left."

The cook turned and headed for the galley but left a furious Nami standing in his wake.

"I, however, have no such reservation," the Navigator announced as she drew her staff.

 **WHOMP!**

Sabo went flying and slammed into the far wall.

"Shishishi!" Luffy laughed, "Thanks for taking one for the team Sabo!"

Nami turned to face him, "Let's do one more for good measure…"

 **WHOMP!**

Luffy slammed into the far wall and crashed to deck next to Sabo.

Nami turned to survey the extremely nervous quartet sitting on the railings. "Since our Captain and first officer are a pair of morons… _I'm_ taking over. You guys spent all night eating our food so I don't think you're going to be needing lunch. You can have dinner once you catch it."

"So much for the lock…" Vivi sighed from where she and Zoro were standing behind Nami.

"At least I've still got my booze stash…" Zoro resolved.

Nami, Zoro and Vivi headed headed for the galley.

"DON'T WORRY, CREW!" Usopp exclaimed. "I've got an idea how we can catch a big fish! But it's gonna take all of us working together."

"Yeah!" Ayako and Chopper cheered. "What do we do Usopp?"

"Well… first we're going to need some better bait…" Usopp stated as his eyes drifted over to Carue.

 **BOB**

Vivi exited the galley a little over an hour later, "How's the fishing going?" The Princess froze on the steps and stared in shock at the sight that greeted her. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"

"We're fishing, Captain Usopp style!" Usopp announced. He looked over his shoulder at Carue who was dangling from the fishing line. He had a familiar red symbol painted on his side. Chopper was in his big Heavy Point form and was holding the fishing pole. "I realized that we needed bigger bait to catch a bigger fish. Carue volunteered to help us out."

 **"QUAAAACK!"** Carue shrieked. He didn't appear to be a willing volunteer.

"REEL HIM IN RIGHT NOW!" Vivi ordered. "What if something tries to eat him!?"

"That's why we've got Sabro," Chopper said as he looked back at Sabo, who was kneeling blindfolded on the deck behind him with his rifle-arm aimed below the red-painted duck.

"It's already worked once," Ayako stated as she pointed at the full-sized shark lying on the deck with a bullet hole in its head. She was sitting on Luffy's back and there was a green symbol painted on the rubber pirate's vest.

"Fish… is good…" Luffy mumbled as he stared at their catch and drooled.

"You see," Usopp said, "The red paint entices the fish and makes Carue look like an extra tempting target… and the green paint keeps Luffy from messing everything up and eating whatever we catch."

"I had my reservations but it actually worked pretty well," the blindfolded quartermaster admitted. "Bonnie and I got that shark just as it jumped out of the water to get Carue. It never even touched him."

"Yay team!" Ayako cheered.

"Would you mind calling Zoro out here to cut up the shark?" Usopp requested. "Then we can have Sanji cook it for dinner."

"I'm still not happy about you using my duck as bait," Vivi insisted. But then she glanced off the front of the ship and her eyes went wide in surprise. "What's that?"

"Hmm… it looks like smoke," Sabo noted as he looked in the indicated direction.

"It looks like cotton candy," Usopp observed.

"Ooo! I love cotton candy!" Chopper gushed.

"Cotton candy… is good…" Luffy mumbled.

"I'll get Nami," Vivi decided.

"And Zoro too!" Ayako called after her.

"NAMI!" Vivi yelled as she ran into the galley. "There's something up ahead! It looks like smoke! And Zoro… the others caught a shark and wanted you to cut it up…"

"A shark?" Zoro repeated as he put down his mug and stood up.

"My curiosity is peaked," Sanji admitted. He, Zoro and Nami followed Vivi back out of the galley.

"Whoa… nice job you guys," Zoro remarked as he eyed the shark lying on the deck.

"That thing looks big enough to feed us for dinner _and_ breakfast," Sanji noted.

"That's not smoke," Nami stated as she overlooked the shark in favor of the weather phenomenon that she'd been called out for. "It's just steam."

"Steam? From the ocean?" Chopper questioned. "You mean it's not cotton candy?"

"Nope," Nami answered. "It's a hotspot. There's an underwater volcano down below us. That steam is where the magma comes out."

"There are volcanoes underwater?" Chopper inquired.

"There are actually _more_ volcanoes underwater than there are on land," Nami informed him.

Sabo frowned, "I don't like magma. It's too hot and it burns everything."

"It has it's good qualities though," Nami told him. "In thousands of years the hardened magma from the volcano will eventually form a new island here."

"NAMI-SWAN!" Sanji swooned with hearts in his eyes, "YOU'RE AS BRILLIANT AS YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!"

 **Swish!**

Bonnie popped out of Sabo's top hat. "Are ye sure it's safe? 'Cause we're about t' sail right into it…"

"I'm positive," Nami assured her, "I'm even willing to make you a bet, furball. If I'm wrong about this… _you_ can be Navigator."

"There's nothin' wrong with havin' fur!" the spectral fox insisted, "From my perspective ye're all just extra naked under yer clothes! Right, Chopper?"

"Right, Bon-nee! Extra naked!" the reindeer agreed.

Bonnie glared at Nami then sank back down into Sabo.

"Steam… is good…" Luffy mumbled.

"Here, I'll rub the paint off," Ayako offered, "Something tells me you won't want to miss this…" The artist reached down and smeared the green symbol on Luffy's vest.

 **Whup!**

"Ooof..." Ayako was knocked over as Luffy sprang back up to his feet.

"WHOOAA!" the rubber man exclaimed. "HERE WE GO! INTO THE MYSTERY CLOUD!"

"It's not a mystery! I just explained what it was!" Nami growled as the steam obscured the ship in a thick blanket of white.

"Koff! Koff! Blah! It tastes like sulfur!" Luffy complained.

"Definitely not cotton candy!" Chopper noted.

 **"Oooh! I like cotton candy!"** a strange voice called out.

They emerged from the steam and everyone turned and stared in shock at a strange-looking man that was hanging off of Carue.

" **QUACK!"** Carue wailed.

"Oh, really!" the strange man blustered as he stared at the teary-eyed duck. "This is getting out of hand! One of these days, I need to stop jumping on every random duck I see!"

"EEP!" Ayako squeaked in alarm at the sight of the strangely dressed man. She was still lying on the ground from when Luffy had knocked her over and quickly rolled closer to the railing then pulled out her paintbrush and drew a familiar symbol on her chest. **"Colors Trap… Boring Brown…"**

"Who's this guy?" Chopper wondered as he stared at the strange man on his fishing line.

"GAAH!" the strange man shrieked as he lost his hold on Carue and plunged into the ocean below.

 **SPLASH!**

"You have to help me, PLEASE!" the man cried out from below as he splashed frantically. "Ah! Get me out of here, please, I can't swim!"

"I guess he's our second catch of the day," Sabo reasoned. "Carue… help us save that guy and you can stop being bait."

" **Quack…"** the duck reluctantly agreed as Chopper drunked him back down under the water.

A moment later, Carue emerged with the soaking stranger clutched in his beak. The Bullfight Red had been washed off by the water. Chopper swung the fishing line over the railing and deposited both the duck and the strange man in the swan-themed ballet costume on the deck.

"Looks like we caught an Okama," Usopp noted.

 _ **"Ye're gonna have t' help me out with this one… what's an okama?"**_

 _"A transvestite. He's a man who likes to dress up as a woman."_

 _ **"We don't have those in my world. The closest we've got is Catbeard. An' for the record... no woman with the slightest bit o' fashion sense would be caught dead in an outfit like that."**_

The okama shook his head as he pushed himself up to his knees. Despite his sudden bath, the okama's makeup wasn't running. Chopper shrunk down to his tiny Brain Point form while Nami and Sanji came down from the upper deck and joined the others in crowding around the stranger.

None of the Straw Hats noticed Ayako as she scrambled over to the main mast and ducked behind it. And none of the Straw Hats noticed Luffy as he slipped over to the shark and started eating it raw.

"I thought I was going to die there for a minute…" the okama gasped then he grinned in sudden realization, "HEY! You saved me! Swan thanks!" the strange man in the swan-themed costume gave a strange salute. "I never imagined my life would be saved by a group of complete strangers. I'll never forget your kindness!" The okama bent low and the deck and gave the pirates two quick bows. But then he pushed himself back up and smiled sheepishly, "Although... could I trouble you for a cup of warm soup?"

"Want some shark?" Luffy offered as he held up a fin that he was gnawing on.

 **THWAK!**

"Damn you!" Zoro berated the Captain. "That was for everybody!" The swordsman grumbled at looked over the strange man. "As you can see… we're having a hard time feeding ourselves."

"It's okay…" Sanji said, "We've got some soup left over from lunch."

"Oh thank you so much!" the okama gushed. "You're a dear!"

"Yeah… sure…" Sanji said as he suppressed a shiver and slipped passed Vivi into the galley.

The okama's eyes followed the cook and spotted the blue haired princess on the upper deck. "Oh, wow! You're just an absolute cutie, aren'tcha? Oh, yeah, sexy!" He put a palm to his face and blew a lopsided kiss at Vivi.

The princess recoiled and muttered quietly, "He's so weird."

"So who are you, stranger?" Sabo inquired as he sat down next to the okama.

"Oh… you can call me 'Bon'..." the strange man offered. "Or 'Ben' if you'd like."

 _ **"Somethin' smells fishy… he's playin' the name game…"**_

"Well… if we're playing the name game," Sabo mused, "Then you can call me Dodger."

"Gaaa hahahaha!" the okama laughed. "Oh, you're fun!"

"What're you doing out here in the middle of nowhere all alone?" Zoro inquired.

"I'm not alone," 'Bon' told them. "I was with my crew on my ship. But then we sailed into the smoke. I couldn't see anything until I suddenly spotted your duck and I couldn't help grabbing onto it…"

"We're heading to Alabasta how 'bout you?" Sabo asked.

"Oh, I'm headed to Alabasta too," 'Bon' answered.

"Then feel free to stick with us until your crew shows up," Sabo offered. "Since we're heading to the same place they're bound to show up eventually."

"Gee THANKS!" the okama exclaimed. "You're too kind!"

"Here's your soup…" Sanji announced as he came back with a steaming bowl and placed it down in front of the stranger before handing him a spoon.

"OH _WOW_!" Bon gushed after trying a few quick spoonfuls. "This is DE-LISH! I used to say that chicken noodle was my favorite… but this is WAY better! You've got to give me your recipe!"

"The funny thing is we're kind of short on food right now," Sanji admitted, "I made that using a number of scrap ingredients that we had left."

"It's still DE-VINE!" Bon assured him. "The fact that you could make something so good with scraps speaks wonders of your skills! I dabble in cooking myself. The Okamas of Kamabakka Kingdom have a special Attack Cuisine that consists of ninety-nine special recipes! They're said to strengthen the body immeasurably."

"Ooooo!" Luffy, Usopp and Chopper all cooed.

Zoro smirked at Sanji, "Can _your food_ do that?"

"Shaddap," Sanji snapped.

"I managed to learn two of the recipes… sadly I'm only self taught," the okama confessed, "But my dream is to one day meet the Okama Queen Emporio Ivankov and study under him so I can eventually learn the other ninety-seven!"

"It's always nice to meet someone with an inspiring dream," Sabo remarked, "Good luck with that."

"YEAH! GOOD LUCK IN FINDING EVIL-KOV BON-BUDDY!" Luffy exclaimed.

The makeup-wearing okama didn't bother correcting him and instead beamed, "Thanks, new friends! I never expected to receive such a warm welcome!"

"I guess he's not so bad for a crazy-looking weirdo…" Nami whispered to herself.

"I've gotta warn them..." the unseen artist whispered to herself as she hid behind the mast and surveyed her unsuspecting crew.

"So you really can't swim, huh?" Luffy asked curiously.

"That's right. You see, I ate a Devil Fruit so I can't swim even a little bit," the okama said carelessly.

"Yeah? What kind of fruit?" Usopp asked with interest.

"Let's see," the okama mused as he got to his feet. "Well, since I can't go anywhere until my ship picks me up, there's no harm in a little fun. For saving my life, I will show you."

Luffy and Chopper perked up eagerly. "OOOO!"

"Get ready, this is my POWER!" the okama sang loudly. Then he suddenly reared back and slammed his palm into Luffy's face.

 **WHAM!**

The rubber man went flying back and landed with his butt hanging over his head.

"WHAAA!" the Straw Hats gasped in shock.

Most of the crew just stared in shock apart from Zoro, who immediately drew _Wado Ichimonji_ and _Yubashiri_ and adopted a fighting stance. "YOU—!"

"Wait, wait, hold on a second!" the okama said, his hands held out in front of him and hiding his face. But what caused Zoro to freeze was that the strange man was speaking _in Luffy's voice_. "This is all just for a little fun, remember?" Zoro gaped in abject shock as the okama turned around… to reveal that he was now an exact copy Luffy… except for his weird outfit.

"Hey, now, mean guy," the okama cattily cooed, leaning forward with a wide grin plastered over Luffy's face. "Relax!"

"Wait," Luffy gasped as he flipped back over. "That's ME!"

"Fun fun fun fun fun fun fun!" the other Luffy laughed as he struck an odd pose while the rest of the crew gaped in shock. Then he straightened and opened his eyes. "And if I touch my face with my left hand—" he began, performing that exact action. "—I'm back to normal!" the okama finished, his original makeup-covered face back in place. "Now, that is the power of the Clone Clone Fruit, you see."

"Amazing," Nami breathed.

"The body and the voice matched perfectly!" Usopp exclaimed after a moment to get over his shock.

"DO ME NEXT!" Sabo exclaimed enthusiastically.

"Sure!" Bon agreed as he casually touched the Quartermaster's face. "I didn't actually have to hit him. I was only having a little fun…" He touched his own face and suddenly he was Sabo.

"Roger Dodger!" the oddly dressed Sabo-clone called out in Sabo's voice.

"Whoa!" Sabo gasped… but then he looked down. "Oh… um… you missed a spot."

Both Sabo's looked down to stare at the original's rifle-arm and then at the clone's normal arm.

"Oh, I'm sorry, this never happens to me!" the okama sputtered in apology. "Normally my disguises are seamless!"

"I'll explain why it didn't work…" Sabo offered, " _I've_ got Devil Fruit Powers too. It's called the Munch Munch Fruit. I can make anything I eat a part of my body. I ate this rifle and now it's my arm. I guess there's no Devil Fruit Power that let's you copy other people's Devil Fruit Powers. But to your credit… your arm looks just like my old one did."

"That _is_ impressive," Bon remarked, "Looks like I learned something new today! Thanks new friend! Here… I can do the same with the rest of you…" The okama pushed himself up onto his toes and did a quick pirouette that allowed him to touch the face of all the pirate's gathered around him.

 **WHISH!**

Except for Zoro who was suddenly yanked out of the way by an unseen artist who was currently crouching behind him.

Bon touched his face and it became Sanji's. "Look, now I'm a cook!"

"WOOOW!" Luffy, Usopp and Chopper cheered and applauded.

"It's like staring in a mirror…" Sanji commented as he marveled at his clone.

Zoro shook his head and suppressed a faint shiver, "Call me paranoid… but I've got the strangest feeling that we just screwed up by allowing those two to meet." He suddenly felt someone tugging on his arm. "Huh?" The Boatswain suddenly noticed the fourteen year old girl clinging to his arm. "Where have you been?"

The Artist pushed herself up onto her tiptoes and quickly whispered urgently into the swordsman's ear while still unseen by everyone else.

"HE'S _WHAT_?" Zoro yelped as he staggered away from the stranger in surprise and watched him with sudden suspicion.

Sanji's clone touched his face and transformed into Usopp, long nose and all. "All I have to do is touch my right hand to you!" he crowed in a perfect copy of Usopp's unique voice.

Another touch, and Usopp shrunk down and sprouted fur and antlers as he became Chopper. "As you can see, I can mimic anyone."

Another touch, and Chopper grew to become Nami. "That's not all, I can change...bodies, too!"

The Nami-clone grinned widely as she pulled open her coat and flashed the gathered crowd of Luffy, Sabo, Usopp, Sanji and Chopper. "WHOOOAAA!"

 **WHOMP!**

"STOP THAT!" the real Nami yelled as she stood over the groaning okama who was now sporting a large 'goose egg' on his head and reverted to normal.

The red-faced Navigator turned to her gaping crewmates.

"NAMI-SWAN! YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!" Sanji gushed.

"I've never seen anything like that before!" Luffy blurted out which caused Nami's blush to get darker.

"Hey… are you okay?" Usopp asked while Dr. Chopper prodded at the lump on the okama's head.

"Wow…" Sabo dead-panned.

 _ **"Don't act so impressed. Big tits don't mean anythin'. Who would ye rather have fightin' with ye?"**_

"You, hands down," Sabo quickly answered.

 _ **"Exactly. So havin' big, useless udders doesn't matter."**_

"I only heard half of the conversation," Nami growled, "But I'm STILL insulted!"

 **WHOMP!**

Sabo crashed to the ground next to Bon.

"I'm… terribly sorry…" the okama groaned as he sat up. "If you're so upset maybe I shouldn't demonstrate my power anymore..."

"NOOO! DO MORE!" Chopper cheered while Usopp whistled.

"Yeah!" Luffy gushed, "Show us Nami again!"

"Yes! Please!" Sanji added eagerly.

 **WHA-WHOMP!**

The Captain and Ship's Cook hit the ground on both sides of Quartermaster.

"OK! If you absolutely insist, I guess I can show a little more!" Bon agreed for his remaining audience which had dwindled to just two. He stretched his right leg up so that his foot nearly touched his head and raising his arms in a circle.

"Jerk shouldn't be so careless with someone else's body…" Nami grumbled as she stomped over to Zoro who was hanging back by the storage room door with the 'invisible' Ayako hiding behind him. "What's with you?"

The boatswain leaned in and whispered what the Artist had told him to the navigator. "HE'S _WHAT_!?"

"Well, in that case, I have something even more incredible: I'm equipped with a memory feature!" the okama declared as he struck another pose where she shifted all of his weight on his left foot. "I remember every face I've ever touched!"

"YEEAAAH!" Luffy cheered along with Usopp and Chopper once he'd recovered from his Nami-induced concussion. Sabo and Sanji had also recovered but were hanging back with slightly less enthusiasm.

"'Kay?" the okama said, raising a hand to his face again. "Clone Clone... Memory Montage!"

"OOO!" the audience gasped as Bon's face became childlike with buck teeth, short black hair, eyebrows in the shapes of dots, and an overall mischievous expression.

"HAHAHAHA!" They laughed as the okama became a dopey-looking man with a stubbled beard, pointed dark brown hairstyle, and a large round nose.

"WHOA! HAHAHAHA!" the enthusiastic audience continued to laugh as Bon became a man with a round head with two mustache halves coming from his nostrils, a slightly open lemon-shaped mouth, narrowed eyebrows and dark circles under his eyes.

"Whaa…" They yelped and reared back when the strange man's face became older and wrinkled with long black hair, a stern expression and a long pharaoh-like black beard.

"What the..." Vivi hissed to herself as she stared at the familiar face in shock.

But then it was gone and replaced by a rectangular head with short brown hair and a crescent-shaped grin that had Luffy, Usopp and Chopper in stitches again, "HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Bon returned to normal and began to spin on his right toe. "Around and around we go!"

"WOW! THAT WAS AMAZING!" Luffy, Usopp and Chopper gushed while Sabo and Sanji were more restrained and settled for giving a polite applause.

Over on the other side of the ship, Zoro, Nami, Vivi were no longer amused. Ayako cautiously peeked out from behind Zoro and Nami.

"Well?" the okama asked. "Did everybody enjoy my very special secret talent? It's quite impressive but I almost never show it off!"

"Oh, yeah!" the five oblivious pirates cheered.

Luffy, Usopp and Chopper joined Bon in a can-can line. "THIS AIN'T NO JOKE! THIS AIN'T NO JOKE!"

The dancing quartet didn't notice Nami as she crept over to her two blonde crewmates and grabbed their ears so she could repeated Ayako's warning.

 _ **"I KNEW somethin' smelled fishy!"**_

"Do you want me to kick his ass now, Nami-swan?" Sanji offered.

"No… hold on…" Sabo cut him off. "Maybe we can put him to some use first…"

"Hey weird guy… is that your ship?" Zoro called out. He discreetly turned so his large body completely concealed the small girl hiding behind him.

Everyone turned to see a large pink-sailed ship with a swan figurehead moving quickly towards them.

 **SKISH!**

Bon sprang across the deck with one bound and landed gracefully on the railing. "It's time to say goodbye already? What a shame!"

"NOOO!" Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper cried. But they were the only ones that did. Everyone else - even Carue who had yet to be untied from the fishing pole - had a grim frown.

"No! You can't leave, please don't go!" Usopp begged.

"Try not to be sad," the okama advised, "Journeys must always include farewells! And yet, I will never forget you or today. It's been brief… but true friendship isn't determined by time. DON'T CRY, MY NEW FRIENDS!" The okama flashed them a thumbs up and wiped tears from his eyes then leapt from the Going Merry onto his own ship.

"SEE YA, COOL GUY!" Luffy called after him as he and a sobbing Usopp and Chopper ran over to the railing and waved goodbye

"Now, quickly, let's be going!" the okama called out to his men as his Swanda pulled ahead of the Going Merry.

"Yes, sir, Mr. 2, Mr. Bon Clay, sir!" one of the men saluted exuberantly. And with that, the swan ship paddled away in seconds.

"MISTER...TWO?!" Usopp managed to gasp through his dropped jaw.

Ayako rubbed the brown paint off of her chest and finally stepped out from behind Zoro. "YOU DUMMIES! You let him get away with all your faces!"

"You mean you recognized him?" Vivi asked.

"Of course!" the former Miss Goldenweek replied. "My uncle made sure I knew what he looked like. He said if we ever screwed up Mr. 2 was most likely the Officer Agent that Mr. 0 would send to assassinate us. The Unluckies told us yesterday that the boss dispatched Mr. 2 to kill Mr. 3 because of Sanji's snail call. I mean… didn't you see the 2-shaped necks of the swans on his shoulders? When he's not in disguise Mr. 2 is the single most recognizable agent in all of Baroque Works!"

"I've never seen Mr. 2 or the Mr. 1 Pair…" Vivi confessed, "I didn't even know he had powers. But I did hear rumors that he was a big okama, talked like an okama, and dressed in an outfit with 'Okama Way' written on the back…"

"ARE YOU BLIND!?" everyone blurted out.

"But that's not the worst part!" Vivi warned them, "One of those faces he showed from memory… was my father's! What's he doing with my father's face?"

"A creep like him posing as a King could cause a lot of damage," Zoro reasoned.

"We let a really dangerous enemy get way…" Usopp realized.

"An enemy…" Chopper whispered.

"That's _still_ not the worst part!" Nami insisted, "He's seen all of us! And once he realizes who we are he can show Mr. 0 _our faces_!"

"Then the solution is simple," Sabo spoke up. "We follow him and make sure he never gets a chance to show our faces to anyone else. We know he's heading to Alabasta. And I told him that we were healing there too. It won't seem suspicious if we're following him."

"Don't worry Nami-swan!" Sanji reassured the Navigator, "I'll avenge your honor and kick his ass!"

"LOOK ALIVE, YOU IDIOTS!" Boatswain Zoro shouted. "Go grab the paddles! FULL SPEED AHEAD!"

"AYE-AYE!" Luffy, Usopp and Chopper chorused as they ran off to gather the paddles.

Sabo went over to Ayako, "Go wake up your uncle… I just came up with a use for your baggage. We're going fishing again. But this it's for a Baroque Works Officer Agent. Candle-guy will be the perfect bait."

"READY ZORO!" Luffy shouted as he, Usopp and Chopper came running back with the paddle.

"Alright, boys, put your backs into it!" the Boatswain barked as he, Luffy, Sabo, Usopp, Sanji and Chopper all grabbed the paddles and started rowing after the Swanda. "FOLLOW THAT SWAN!"

 **BOB**

Sorry about the delay but here's the chapter. An extra special thanks goes out to the Patient One for helping me get back on schedule.

This chapter was a lot shorter than my last few but I'm using it as a reset chapter at the beginning of the Alabasta Arc. But in case you couldn't tell from that last scene, I'm going to be majorly shaking things up in Alabasta to the point where you'll barely recognize it.

Silver signing off


	36. Ace

_**BROTHER ON BOARD**_

UnderTakerxXxMadnesS - Yes, awkwardness abound as Sabo is forced to give Luffy the Talk. Now that he has Devil Fruit Powers that are based around eating, Sabo can finally keep up with Luffy (and Ace) during a meal.

The Patient One - Just bare the hormonal Luffy for now. It all stemmed from that kiss in chapter 19. Luffy's simple one-track mind combined with a newfound appreciation for women puts him on par with a horny thirteen year old discovering breasts for the first time. There will be a payoff for the Luffy-with-Hormones storyline eventually but it's not coming just yet. In the meantime, you can hopefully gain some enjoyment from his brothers awkwardly attempting to get him passed that stage. P.S. I snuck in a tiny reference to This Bites regarding a snail.

The Keeper of Worlds - Plus, the rifle is technically Bonnie's body. So copying Sabo and his arm would be like copying two people at once. I'm actually pushing the 'information' session with Mr. 3 back to next chapter. I altered the line when I realized that they didn't need him for that just yet.

TheREALMightyKamina - Much appreciated! They warn you never to make deals with Rumpelstiltskin. But who do you think I got that bunker surrounded by landmines from?

Lightsbane1905 - Nami's are the only ones he's seen so far. The kiss from chapter 19 'awoke' Luffy's dormant hormones much to Sabo's dismay. Luffy's one-track mind will be a major source of frustration for his brothers in this chapter.

Dr. Zenkai - New outfits are revealed in this chapter! Sabo, Ayako _and_ _Bonnie_ get a wardrobe change. Sabo's consists of a colored cloak like the rest of the male Straw Hats but I actually dedicated a fair bit of time to describing Bonnie's since she's the new character and is the hardest to picture. I've got plans for Mr. 2 but I'm not going to spoil them right now.

Babyuknowme13 - Of course... maybe if the Straw Hats do things differently than they did in canon that might not be an issue...

PippinSqueaks - The ASL Brothers reunite in this chapter! Enjoy!

Ranger Station Charlie - One of the big changes is going to be addressed at the beginning of this chapter. The Straw Hats are on good terms with the World Government so Smoker and Tashigi had no reason to follow them to Alabasta since they're busy tracking down Buggy's crew. We'll see what that means for the arc.

Fencer22 - Thank you!

luvBonnieAnne - I added you to the Bonnie Anne Fan Club. Since you're using luvBonnieAnne as your username on TV Tropes I'd say that counts as a username. You got the bounty bit right. Robin's taking advantage of the competitiveness between the male Straw Hats concerning their bounties. The reward she put on the heads of her officer agents is how much their bounty rise provided they defeat that agent. I'm kind of neurotic about numbers so I play around with them when I can. My favorite number is 13. I don't think it's bad luck since I was born on the thirteenth. I won't tell you which month but let's say that I find Taylor Swift slightly more annoying than most people. You'll see 13 hidden throughout the story. There are 13 scenes in this chapter, when Ace joins the Straw Hats on the Merry there will be 13 'people' on board and just to mess with you, here's a vague spoiler: Robin will be the 13th person on the Going Merry when the Straw Hats leave Alabasta.

traindheart - You're on the list. Welcome! Membership comes with a complimentary straitjacket.

Guest - You'll see who came up with that nickname in this chapter. For now, let's just say its a book they stole and then read back when they were kids which caused them to notice certain similarities between themselves and some of the characters.

Mr. 1000 - Honestly, I'm not a huge fan of Fairy Tail. There are no pirates and the main character annoys me. I doubt I'll ever write anything about that series. Plus, I don't want this story to be a full crossover. The main focus is always going to be One Piece and the changes Sabo's presence makes to the original story. The only crossover aspect here is going to be the inclusion of the Pirate 101 character Bonnie Anne.

Guest - You'll see.

 **A/N: The Line Break tool pissed me off. Now I'm using centered BOB's to note scene breaks.**

 **BOB**

 **Ace-**

"KEEP PADDLING!" Zoro shouted as he, Luffy, Sabo, Usopp, Sanji and Chopper frantically paddled the Going Merry after Mr. 2 and the Swanda.

"RIGHT!" Luffy, Usopp and Chopper all chorused.

"We're closing in..." Sabo eventually announced with a grim smile.

"Do you think they've spotted us?" Sanji wondered.

 **Swish!**

Bonnie popped out of Sabo's shoulder as the Quartermaster continued his awkward one-armed rowing. "At the rate we're closin' in on 'em? They'd have t' be blind not t' notice."

"Um… what exactly are we gonna do when we catch him?" Usopp nervously inquired.

"Same as usual!" Luffy exclaimed. "Since it turns out he's a jerk and since Sanji called dibs, he can beat up Bon-buddy while the rest of us fight his crew and sink his ship!"

"Wait… we're gonna sink the ship with all those guys still on it?" the Ship's Doctor asked.

"Most ships that size have lifeboats," Sanji pointed out.

"Chopper…" Zoro sternly addressed the human-reindeer paddling next to him, "You may have thought that guy was your friend… but he's actually an enemy. He and everyone on that ship are members of Baroque Works. They all joined an organization that's trying to destroy Vivi's country."

Vivi frowned from where she was still leaning on the railing outside the galley staring at the Swan-themed ship ahead of them. "I've been away for so long… and there's no telling how long he's been able to mimic my father. For all I know, he's already used his face to further increase the resentment of the rebellion."

Nami came over and gave the Princess a reassuring pat on the back. "Don't worry. We'll make sure he doesn't do any more damage. The guys are a pain-in-the-ass to deal with most of the time. But you've seen how strong they are. When things get serious there's no one I'd rather have fighting on my side."

"Ayako, is your uncle ready yet?" Sabo inquired. "They're gonna ask us why we were chasing them when we finally catch up. We can use Mr. 3 as bait to lure Mr. 2 over here and then Sanji can jump him while the rest of us deal with the ship and crew."

"He's all set," the Artist reported. She stood at the base of the main mast with Mr. 3 slumped against it. There was a familiar green symbol painted on her uncle's chest. " **Colors Trap… Calming Green** will keep him from panicking when Mr. 2 shows up."

"Not… Mister… Two…" the hypnotized wax sculptor calmly mumbled.

"Hold on…" Usopp suddenly cut in, "So your plan is for us to attack that ship… using the Going Merry?"

"We'll be countin' on ye t' work the cannons _Master Gunner_ ," Bonnie informed him.

"I guess we were due," Nami reasoned. "For normal pirates the majority of their battles actually take place at sea. A traditional pirate raid consists of pirates attacking a passenger ship or a merchant ship and stealing all their valuables or goods. And then the pirates will usually have to fight off the Marine Vessels that pursue them."

"Luffy fighting Krieg on the sinking remains of his ship doesn't really count," Zoro reasoned, "So this'll be our first naval battle."

"Actually… our very first pirate battle upon setting sail was on a ship," Sabo recalled. "The rest of you guys hadn't joined yet. Luffy probably doesn't even remember since he was in a barrel for most of it. But Bonnie and I saved a cruise ship from Iron Mace Alvida and her crew."

"I remember," Luffy insisted. "That's when we first met Nami."

Nami blinked in surprise. "That's right. I had just finished robbing Alvida's crew… you guys and that kid came crashing down next to me. It's funny… that feels like such a long time ago but it's really only been a few weeks."

Sabo's eyes widened in horror, "I just realized that we never destroyed Alvida's ship! Bonnie and I took care of her and her crew… but we left without destroying her ship."

"If it's any consolation… I watched the marine battleships that showed up sink her ship," Nami supplied. "I remember being really relieved that I'd escaped with her treasure in time."

"The slippery skank ended up eatin' a Devil Fruit an' joined up with Buggy…" Bonnie growled. "She came back an' jumped us in an alley at Loguetown. Beatin' her again felt good."

"That means we crossed paths with her twice and failed to sink her ship both times," Sabo grumbled. "The Marines aren't on our crew… _We_ didn't do it…"

"Didn't we start that tradition when we beat Buggy?" Zoro questioned.

"Yeah… but I don't like the fact that Alvida's an exception because of me…" Sabo complained.

"Buggy was in charge of that odd alliance when we fought them," Sanji pointed out. "Officer Tashigi called on the snail she gave us and told us that they escaped and were looking for us in the Grand Line. Buggy and his crew are the whole reason Captain Smoker and his marines are in the same ocean as us. But if Buggy _does_ manage to slip away from them and track us down you can, by all means, destroy their new ship and count it as Alvida's."

"You have a Transponder Snail on this ship?" Vivi inquired.

"It's in the galley," Sanji confirmed. "I've been feeding it scraps. Something tells me a lot of people would be upset if we abused a snail. Have you really been here all this time and not noticed it?"

"You've never used it before," Vivi reminded him.

"I'm no expert on Transponder Snails," Sanji admitted. "I could barely work the candle-guy's when Mr. 0 called. But I'm pretty sure ours only calls Smoker and Officer Tashigi so it's only ever made the one call…"

Usopp suddenly let go of his paddle and stepped away from it. "I don't think we should fight that ship…"

"What's the matter, Usopp?" Ayako asked. "You're not scared, are you?"

"Yes, I… NO! This time I'm not," Usopp insisted, "At least… not for me… The Merry… she's just a caravel… she was designed so Kaya could go sailing… she may be armed with cannons but she wasn't made for naval combat." The Master Gunner turned and stared at the patchwork that he, Sabo and Zoro had done on the main mast. "I… I don't want the Going Merry to get hurt..."

"Usopp… it's just a–" Nami tried to reason with him but the Master Gunner cut her off.

"DON'T EVEN FINISH THAT SENTENCE!" Usopp snapped. "SHE'S _NOT_ JUST A SHIP! You can't believe that! Not after everything that's happened! The Going Merry is our home! We couldn't call ourselves pirates if we didn't have a ship! And that's why we've gotta keep her safe so she can keep sailing! We're not good enough carpenters to repair any damage that enemy cannon-fire could do to her. Sabro… Bon-nee… you've got my back in this, right?"

"Usopp, I…" Sabo trailed off when he glanced over at his arm in time to see Bonnie go stiff for a couple seconds then start frantically scanning the deck. "Bonnie… you okay?"

"I heard somethin' just now…" the spectral fox reported. "It was a voice… kind o' high-pitched… It said _'Thank you Usopp'_."

"I heard it too…" Luffy spoke up as he glanced over at the figurehead. He released his paddle and stepped away from it. "I don't like this plan anymore. Sabo! Make a new one!"

"Is this ship haunted?" Chopper asked warily.

"You mean aside from the riflegeist?" Nami snarked.

Bonnie flipped Nami off then turned to Chopper. "Do ye mind rephrasin' that? I resemble that remark."

"Alright… everybody stop paddling…" Sabo announced, "I'll come up with something else."

The Straw Hats released their paddles. But despite the fact that no one was paddling or manning the rudder, the Going Merry continued to follow the Swanda at near top speed. It seemed like the ship was coaxing every bit of speed out of her billowing sails.

The Swanda was faster due to its man-powered paddle wheels but the Going Merry appeared to be dead-set on keeping the enemy ship within her crew's sight.

"Thanks Merry…" Usopp whispered as the crew convened in the middle of the desk.

"I told him that we were heading to Alabasta," Sabo recalled. "So he shouldn't be too suspicious about us following him. We know he's out hunting Mr. 3 so he's probably on his way back from LIttle Garden. I'm betting that he assumed that Mr. 3 slipped passed him and now he's heading back to Alabasta to look for him there. Since Baroque Works executes agents that fail missions I doubt he'll report in that he was unsuccessful right away. So we've got a little bit of breathing room. But we still need to figure out where in Alabasta he's heading. Vivi, what's the most popular port in your country?"

"That would be Nanohana," the Princess answered. "Although, a lot of people go to Rain Base to visit Crocodile's casino Rain Dinners." Vivi frowned bitterly. "They have no idea who he is. They think he's a national hero."

"..." No one noticed the hypnotized Mr. 3's eyes narrow while he kept the same calm smile on his face.

Sabo turned to Luffy, "Your luck usually puts us in the right place at the right time. What do you think? Nanohana or Rain Base?"

"Which place has more food?" Luffy asked, thinking with his stomach. "That's where Ace'll be."

"Nanohana has a number of shops and restaurants," Vivi supplied. "It's also the first one we'd reach based on the direction we're sailing from."

"That one," Luffy decided.

"Hopefully that's where Mr. 2 is heading to search for Mr. 3," Sabo resolved. "When we get there we'll follow him and ensure that he doesn't get a chance to reveal our continued existence to Mr. 0. And, if we're extra lucky, he might lead us to some other Baroque Works Agents that we can remove from the equation to keep them from causing any more problems."

"Finding that guy in a crowded town will be like looking for a needle in a haystack," Sanji advised.

Zoro glanced around at the others, "Since we're dealing with a guy who can impersonate any one of us… _I've_ got a plan that we can use to combat his abilities."

 **BOB**

"Make sure to tie them real tight," Zoro instructed as he used his teeth to tie a white strip of bandages onto his left forearm.

"Not bad, mossball," Sanji remarked as he tied bandages on his own arm. "This will trump that creep's Clone Clone Powers."

"As long as we see these we can trust each other," Nami resolved as she and Vivi helped each other with their bandages.

"That okama could match our appearances and voices but he couldn't change clothing," Usopp noted as he, Chopper, Ayako and Carue sat on the deck in a group and helped each other arrange their respective bandages.

"Just don't tell my uncle that I got a tattoo…" Ayako requested as she rubbed her forearm. Mr. 3 had been moved to the anchor room so the Straw Hats could carry out Zoro's dual layered plan in private.

"You just _had to_ pick the left arm, didn't you…" Sabo grumbled as he finished carving an 'X' in front of the scope on top of his rifle-arm. "You okay, Bonnie?"

 **Swish!**

Bonnie popped out of Sabo's left side and then stared down at her left forearm. The elbow-length leather fingerless glove that she'd been wearing had been removed and was stuck in the waistband of her skirt. This caused the black 'X' now tattooed on her bare forearm to stand out in contrast to her blue-tinted fur.

"It's not like he could properly copy ye anyway," Bonnie mused, "But it's nice t' be included."

"Make sure you tie something over that so you match the rest of us," Zoro instructed.

"Bloody taskmaster…" Bonnie muttered as she pulled her left arm out of the sleeve of her billowy blouse then tore off the bottom half of her blouse's blue-tinted white sleeve. She tore the severed fabric in half again and then tied it over the mark on her arm so that it loosely resembled the bandages the other were wearing. "I hope ye're happy. I've got _one shirt_ an' I just ruined the sleeve so I could go along with yer plan. It seems a bit pointless if ye ask me. He doesn't even know I exist. An' even if he did… he'd have no way or reason t' copy me."

"There _is_ a point, Bonnie," Luffy announced as he stood up and proudly displayed the bandages tied on his left forearm. "These things on our arm aren't just tattoos and bandages. No matter what happens… these are a symbol of our friendship."

The others were suitably inspired by the Captain and all eleven of them stood in the middle of the deck with their respective bandaged left arms extended. Zoro stood at Luffy's left side with Chopper stretching his short arm up to join the circle in between him and Nami. Next to Nami was Carue with bandages around his feathered wing and then Ayako and Usopp. Sanji came next followed by Vivi with Sabo on her other side. The Quartermaster had bandages wrapped around the barrel of his rifle arm in front of the scope while Nojiko's red ribbon was still wrapped around the barrel behind it. And finally, Bonnie's spectral arm completed the circle in between Sabo and Luffy.

"Now we're ready for Arablasta!" Luffy exclaimed.

"That's _Alabasta_ …" Vivi automatically corrected him. The Princess gave a warm smile as she gripped the bandages tied around her forearm. She'd found friends that accepted her as one of them and were not just willing to help her fight for her country's survival but actually seemed to be excited about doing it.

 **SHOOOOM!**

Suddenly the Going Merry rocked a huge wave rose up in front of them. But then the water fell away to reveal a massive cat with fins.

 **"NNNYYYAAA!"** the giant sea cat meowed as it stared down at the much smaller ship.

"A SEA CAT!" Vivi exclaimed.

"GAAAH! MOOONSTEEER!" Usopp screamed like a little girl.

"It's got fins… so it's a sea monster," the little girl standing next to him calmly informed him.

"SEA MONSTER!" Usopp and Chopper shrieked in terror.

"IT'S FOOOD!" Luffy cheered.

"GREAT! I'M STARVING!" Zoro exclaimed as he drew his swords.

But the sea cat didn't attack and the Going Merry sailed passed without any trouble.

"Damn… we lost sight of the swan-guy's ship…" Sabo observed.

Nami glanced down at the Eternal Pose on her wrist, "Well, we're sailing in the right direction."

"DON'T LET IT GET AWAY!" Sanji shouted as he, Luffy and Zoro ran to the rear deck.

 **"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!"**

 **WHA-WHA-WHOMP!**

One swing from Vivi downed all three members of the Monster Trio. The sea cat dove into the water and swam away.

"Hey! What's the big idea, Vivi?" Luffy complained. "That thing was food!"

"You can't eat it," Vivi reprimanded him, "In Alabasta cats are sacred animals."

"There sure are interesting creatures in this world," Chopper remarked.

"And I'm sure it must be terrifying for kids like you two," Usopp said as he stood up on shaky legs.

"I've actually seen a sea cat before," Ayako stated. "Mr. 3 and I encountered one the last time we came to Alabasta. The fact that we ran into a sea cat means we're getting close to Alabasta."

"Yeah… and those things behind us are a pretty good sign too," Zoro pointed out.

Everyone turned to look back behind them and spotted an armada of nearly twenty ships. Each ship had the familiar winged skull of Baroque Works emblazoned on its front sail. There were enough ships to form a blockade.

"I guess we got here just in time to slip through," Sabo reasoned. He looked over at Vivi, "How many members does Baroque Works have again?'

"Well, you know there are the two Unluckies," Vivi recounted, "Fourteen Frontier Agents spanning from the Mr. 6 Pair to the Mr. 12 pair. And then there's nine Officer Agents since Mr. 2's an Okama and doesn't need a partner. That's twenty-five numbered agents plus Crocodile and Miss All Sunday which makes twenty-seven. There are two hundred Billions which are the underlings of the Officer Agents and then there are one thousand eight hundred Millions which are underlings for the Frontier Agents. Which comes to two thousand underlings."

"All those ships coming here means that Crocodile is recalling his forces," Sabo observed. "That means he's reaching the endgame of his evil plan for your country."

"That's why we can't fail," Vivi insisted, "It isn't just the lives of one million soldiers hanging in the balance but Alabasta's entire population of _ten million_ people. We have to stop the rebellion."

"First things first though," Nami said, "We need to keep Mr. 2 from causing a problem. We'll be able to operate unhindered as long as Crocodile doesn't know we're still alive. So we need to make sure Mr. 2 can't ruin everything for us."

 **Swish!**

Bonnie popped out of Sabo's top hat and peered off the front of the ship then pointed with her still mostly bare left arm. "I see somethin'. It's an island!"

 **ZZZZOOOM!**

Luffy came racing across the deck and jumped up onto his seat on the figurehead. Everyone ran up to the front deck after him.

"WE DID IT!" Luffy cheered, "WE FINALLY REACHED ALABASTA!"

"That's _Ala_ …" Vivi started to correct him but then trailed off, "Oh… you actually got it right this time."

"It only took him this entire trip," Nami muttered with a roll of her eyes.

"Let's head for Nanohana," Sabo resolved. "If we're lucky, we'll find Mr. 2 there. And if we're _really lucky_ we'll run into Ace along the way."

 **BOB**

"There it is… Nanohana," Vivi announced as she pointed to the large desert port town.

"It sure is a sandy island…" Chopper remarked as he eyed the sandy streets.

"Sandy Island is actually the island's name," Vivi informed him, "But the kingdom on it is Alabasta. It's a summer island. We've never so much as seen a flake of snow here. And for the last few years we haven't gotten a drop of rain either."

"HEY! I see Mr. 2's ship!" Usopp called out from up in the Crow's Nest. "That swan really stands out. It's at the very end of the dock."

Nami turned to look back at Sanji who was steering from the galley, "Sanji, there's a spot in the middle. Let's put some distance in between his ship and the Going Merry."

"Of course, Nami-swan!" the cook happily agreed.

No sooner than the Going Merry had pulled up to the shore, Luffy made to leap off the front of the ship. "I'M COMING FOOOD!"

"OH, NO YOU DON'T!" Sabo shouted as he dove after Luffy and grabbed his ankles.

 **Wha-whap! WHAM!**

Luffy swung down and slammed into the front of the ship and Sabo quickly reeled his rubber brother back in. The Captain immediately popped back up.

"Sabo, what's the big idea?" Luffy complained, "Ace, Bon-buddy and food are all out there!"

Sabo calmly folded his arm and rifle over his chest, "Luffy… why are we chasing Mr. 2?"

"Because he has our faces!" Luffy answered.

"And why's that bad?" Sabo queried.

"Because Crocodile and Baroque Works think we're dead," Luffy stated.

"You do recall that you and I were in the newspaper, right?" Sabo prodded. Luffy nodded. "That means after Vivi and Carue… we're the two most recognizable figures on this ship. Sir Crocodile is one of the Seven Warlords. His job is to take down pirates that arrive in his kingdom. If you go running through the middle of town dressed like that… we won't have to worry about Mr. 2 because there will a line of people rushing to Crocodile to report that they saw Straw Hat Luffy run through Nanohana."

"Oh…" Luffy said simply.

"So what do we need if we're going to search the town for Mr. 2, Ace and food?" Sabo prompted.

"..." Everyone stared silently at the Captain as he scratched his head like a monkey. Then his face suddenly lit up. "WE NEED DISGUISES!"

"HA! PAY UP!" Sabo exclaimed as he whirled around and jabbed a finger at Zoro. "I told you I could keep him from running off and causing trouble!"

The swordsman grumbled and pulled a wad of bills out from his sash. "I could've sworn he was gonna run off the second we spotted the coast and then we'd be stuck dealing with the consequences of whatever chaos he managed to cause while he was away."

"Not while I'm Quartermaster, he won't," Sabo insisted as he took Zoro's money. "Good news Luffy! Zoro's paying for our lunch!"

"YAY! FOOD!" Luffy cheered.

Nami glanced around at the others, "Luffy and Sabo have had their picture in the paper, Vivi and Carue are royalty, Ayako… there's a chance you could be recognized by Mr. 2's crew, Zoro's got a reputation as a bounty hunter and Chopper's a reindeer so he'd stand out in a desert kingdom. That leaves Usopp and Sanji to get us clothes without attracting attention.."

"What about you, Nami?" Luffy asked. "You've got most of our money anyway."

Nami smirked and casually pushed her chest up as she folded her arms, "Oh? And you don't think I'd stand out?"

Luffy's eyes drifted downward and then bugged out. He staggered backwards with a faint flush.

"Damn it Nami!" Sabo complained as he pushed passed Luffy. "It's your fault he even developed hormones in the first place! Don't flirt with him! You'll make everything worse!"

"Yeah… for you," Nami taunted him.

Sabo opened his mouth to say something unflattering but Sanji smoothly stepped in front of him and cut him off. "Leave everything to me, Nami-swan! I'll find you an outfit so beautiful that the swan on Mr. 2's ship will be jealous!"

"That'll make me stand out _more_ ," Nami pointed out. "Usopp, go with him and make sure he gets something that we can cover up with. This is a desert kingdom and I don't want my skin to burn."

"And keep an eye out for Mr. 2 while you're at it," Zoro added as Nami gave Sanji some money.

The Ship's Cook and the Master Gunner left the Going Merry and took off into the port town of Nanohana.

 **Swish!**

Bonnie popped out of Sabo's right shoulder. "I was just thinkin'... Mr. 2 didn't have that much o' a head start on us… There's a chance he's still be on his ship. An' since we're just waitin' here… maybe someone should go over there an' scout it out?"

"That's actually a pretty good idea," Zoro admitted. He glanced at the others, "Who wants to–"

"I was hopin' I could… er _we_ could do it…" Bonnie added as she motioned to Sabo and herself with her left hand which showed that she was wearing her fingerless leather glove again. "I was workin' as a scout before I became a rifle. An' now that I can function outside o' the rifle… I want t' contribute t' the crew beyond just shootin' people."

"Great idea, Bonnie!" Luffy announced. "As Captain, I'll make you our new Scout! So take Sabo and scout out Bon-buddy."

The fox beamed at the prospect of being useful again and fired off a salute. "As you wish, Cap'n,"

"What's the plan, Bonnie?" Sabo inquired.

Bonnie spun around so she was facing Vivi… and the duck behind her. "Carue… ye're fast on land… how are ye at swimmin'?"

 **"Quack!"** Carue replied as he gave her a feathery thumbs up.

Sabo grinned at Vivi, "Do you mind if we borrow your duck?"

"I don't mind, I trust you," the Princess replied with a soft smile.

"Eh-HEM!" Bonnie cleared her throat a little louder than strictly necessary then turned to Ayako next, "Do ye think ye could loan us some o' that Borin' Brown paint?"

"Sure," the Artist agreed as she fished into her ever-present blue backpack for her paint.

"That'll allow us t' sneak over an' snoop around the ship without anyone noticin'," Bonnie resolved.

"We'll be back soon," Sabo assured the others. Bonnie sank back into him as he climbed onto Carue and leaned back so Ayako could paint a familiar symbol on the back of his coat.

 **"Colors Trap… Boring Brown…"**

The paint took effect and Ayako was the only one who noticed when Carue jumped off the side of the ship and swam away.

 **SPLASH!**

Sabo held onto Carue as the Super Spot-Billed Duck rocketed across the harbour towards Mr. 2's ship. The duck's peaceful posture belayed the fact that his feet were rapidly churning faster than any propellor below the surface.

 _"Why the sudden interest in being useful?"_ Sabo asked the fox inside him as he lightly ran his fingers over his rifle-arm. _"Did someone call you useless while I wasn't paying attention? Say their name and I'll make their life miserable. I can pull rank. I've always wanted to order someone to swab the deck."_

 _ **"No one said anythin',"**_ Bonnie replied. _**"It's a personal decision. Back home I had a reputation for bein' helpful an' reliable. Now that I can finally be more than just a rifle… I want t' do more. Chopper, Ayako an' Usopp are callin' me Bon-nee like I'm their sister… they look up t' me… I want t' be worthy o' that honor. I want t' be the best version o' myself for 'em."**_

 _"Our crew does seem to have a way of inspiring people,"_ Sabo remarked. _"You know you'll never be just a rifle to me. And I'll help you any way that I can."_

They drew close to the Swanda and Carue swam up alongside it.

 _ **"For now just climb up onto that wheel,"**_ Bonne instructed. _**"An' I'll snoop around an' see what's happenin' on deck."**_

Sabo quickly relayed Bonnie's instruction to Carue. "Carue, go over to the wheel so we can climb up."

 **"Quack!"** Carue agreed as he floated over to the wheel.

 **Skish!**

Sabo grabbed onto the wheel and climbed up the side using his good hand then jumped and grabbed onto the main deck and hung there.

 **Swish!**

Bonnie popped out of Sabo's top hat and peered through the spokes of the railing to survey the deck.

"Are you sure Mr. 2's gonna be able to find Mr. 3 in the town?" one of Mr. 2's henchmen Billions asked.

"At least he agreed to change his outfit so he wouldn't stand out as much," another Billion remarked.

"We're lucky Mr. 3 doesn't know we're after him. You know none of us could handle an Officer Agent."

"Mr. 2 can handle Mr. 3. _Our job_ is to make sure he doesn't escape again like he did at Little Garden. There's no sign of his ship anywhere but we've still gotta gotta patrol the harbor and keep our eyes peeled for him and his partner Miss Goldenweek. We can't let either of them leave the town."

Bonnie frowned and sank back down into Sabo, _**"Well that's not good. Mr. 2's already gone… an' he's in disguise. It's gonna be really tricky t' find 'im in that crowded town."**_

" _All we can do now is relay the bad news to the others,"_ Sabo resolved as he dropped down onto Carue.

 **BOB**

"These new clothes feel really thick…" Luffy commented as he donned the dark red cloak that Sanji and Usopp and brought back for him.

"They're meant to be," Usopp informed him, "The desert sun is deadly. You've gotta keep your skin covered." Usopp held up a thick, pale blue sash. "Here… you can tie this over your hat, Luffy."

Luffy tied the sash over his head then eyed Usopp's outfit which consisted of a pale green, long-sleeved one-piece cloak and a mustard yellow headdress. "Why are you wearing a dress?"

"It's not a dress!" Usopp exclaimed. "The salesman said it would be extra comfortable and that there was zero chance of me getting sunburned since none of my skin is exposed."

"We also saw some people wearing turbans," Sanji stated as he handed a long black sash to Sabo. "I figured you could tie this around your top hat so it doesn't stand out as much.

The Ship's Cook was in a pale blue cloak with red sun designs on the sleeves and a dark blue headdress that was currently hanging around his neck like a hood.

Sabo's new outfit consisted of a dark blue coat that was lined in a black. The sleeves were big and loose enough that he had been able to fit his rifle arm through the left one and now it partially concealed most of the deadly weapon that he'd made his forearm. Sabo quickly wrapped the black sash around his top hat so it resembled a turban. A bit of the black fabric hung down under the top hat's brim to shield the back of his neck from the desert sun.

 **Swish!**

Bonnie popped out of Sabo's right shoulder and smiled as she gave her boyfriend the once over. "It's not very steampunk… but ye won't stand out now." The fox turned and spotted Chopper with his hooves clamped over his nose. "Are ye alright there, Chopper?"

Chopper had on a thick white shirt with a green collar that hung down low and almost completely hid his maroon shorts. Over that he wore an indigo cloak that was lined in purple. "The air smells funny... it hurts my nose."

"It's perfume," Bonnie informed him. "Loads of it. I don't actually breathe as a rifle but I can still smell it. Yer nose is extra sensitive so it's hurtin' from smellin' it all at once. Try breathin' through yer mouth while we're here."

Chopper nodded and his mouth hung open as he took a series of deep open-mouthed breaths. "Oh… that does feel better. Thanks Bon-nee!"

Bonnie smiled and flashed him a thumbs up before she sank back down into Sabo's shoulder.

"LADIES! Are you ready yet?" Sanji eagerly called out towards the storage room. "I know all your measurements by heart, so everything should fit just right!"

"Pervy-cook…" Zoro muttered. He was in a black and white cloak with an orange headdress hanging around his neck like a hood.

 **"WE'RE ALL SET!"** Nami's voice sounded through the storage room door.

 **KREEK!**

"What do you think, boys?" Nami called out as she stepped out and struck an alluring pose. She was in a dancer outfit that consisted of a halter top that was more of a bikini with the two dark blue triangles with a purple wave design held together with a simple clip that served to show off the Navigator's large bust and impressive cleavage. Nami had a gold band on her left arm just below her tattoo and a pale pink cape hung from the back of her top and reached her long white skirt which had a matching blue waistband and was also low cut to show off a bit more of her pelvis.

"NAMI-SWAN! YOU'RE AN ANGEL!" Sanji gushed. "You look even more beautiful that I imagined in that dancer outfit!"

"A dancer outfit?" Luffy repeated, "That sounds fun! Nami! Do a dance!"

Nami turned to survey Luffy with a raised eyebrow, "How much money do you have?"

"I don't have any money," Luffy admitted.

"Then no dance," Nami stated emphatically.

"Sanji… we're supposed to be blending in…" Vivi pointed out as she emerged from the storage room and stood beside Nami in her own dancer outfit. Vivi's purple top was more conservative than Nami's and actually looked more like a proper halter top with a pink outline. A white cape hung from the back and met her long pale blue skirt. The bottoms were also more conservative than Nami's and had a straight waistband with a purple and pink tunic-like flap hanging down in the front.

"But Vivi-hime, dancers are common!" Sanji insisted. "You're the most beautiful dancers in Alabasta!"

"But we'll be traveling through the desert!" Vivi protested.

"We will?" Sabo questioned.

"Well… I wanted to try and talk down the rebel army…" Vivi replied as she clasped her hands together at her waist. "Their leader's an old friend of mine…" The Princess was only slightly disappointed to see that Sabo's eyes were locked on hers. Although, there may have been someone else behind that.

 _ **"That's right… keep those eyes up, mister."**_

"Don't worry…" a slightly flushed Usopp interrupted as he held up a stack of different colored shrouds. "I made sure to get something you can cover up with like Nami asked."

"Good… because I don't think I have the body for an outfit like this…" a beet-red Ayako piped up as she peeked out from behind Vivi. The Artist was still wearing her pink hat but also a dancer outfit of her own. Her top was red in color with a pale pink outline and was actually more conservative than Vivi's and looked like a cropped tank top. A pale purple cape hung down from the back and met her pale pink skirt which like Vivi's had a straight waistband and a red and pink tunic-like flap hanging down in front.

Ayako self-consciously wrapped her arms around her still developing chest as she eyed the older, better endowed girls standing next to her.

 **Swish!**

Bonnie popped out of Sabo's chest and then hung there so she was eye-level with Ayako.

"Listen t' me… big boobs don't make ye a woman," Bonnie informed her. "You an' Chopper are the living embodiment that great things come in small packages. Ye're still young but ye're so insanely talented that ye can still hang with the rest o' us. Ye've got nothin' t' be embarrassed about."

"Really?" Ayako asked uncertainly.

"Sure as shootin'," the fox agreed.

"Heh…" Sabo let out a quiet chuckle at Bonnie's gun-related comment. "Adorable…"

"An' if havin' a big rack means so much t' ye… just wait a couple years," Bonnie instructed. "There's clearly somethin' in the water here that causes the girls t' grow big melons. Give it two years an' ye'll have a chest that'll rival Vivi's."

The Princess in question flushed and hugged her arms over her own chest. But then the corner of her mouth quirked up when she noticed Sabo trying and failing to avert his eyes after hearing his girlfriend's blunt comment.

"Now hold yer head up high an' give us a smile," Bonnie prompted.

Ayako lowered her arms and beamed. "Thanks, Bon-nee!"

The spectral fox winked at her and then started to sink back into Sabo.

"Bonnie-channe, I got an outfit for you too!" Sanji called out.

Bonnie froze and turned to look at the Ship's Cook. "Did ye really?"

"I remember that you were upset about having to tear your sleeve for Zoro's plan," Sanji recalled. "So I made a point to get you a new outfit to make up for it."

"Thank you, Mr. Prince," Bonnie said with a soft shake of her head. "But I'm a ghost… there's a reason I've been stuck wearin' the same outfit for over two years… I don't think I _can_ change clothes…"

"That's just because you've never tried," Sanji reassured her. "You were able to taste that smoothie when Sabo drank it. I thought that if Sabo ate the outfit you might be able to wear it."

Bonnie glanced at Sabo and shrugged, "It's worth a shot."

Sanji grinned and rushed off to grab the final dancer girl outfit that he'd brought back.

Sabo smirked at the word 'shot' but then frowned when he had a sudden realization. "That's the second time Sanji's thought of something new I could do for you with my powers."

"Don't worry, hon," Bonnie reassured him, "Ye spent a year datin' a rifle. You an' I are still caught up in enjoyin' the freedom that comes with this new stage o' our relationship. Sanji's not as involved so he's free t' think beyond it."

The Ship's Cook returned with another dancer outfit and happily presented it to Bonnie Anne. "I wanted to focus on that fact that you're still alive… even if you are a ghost. So I went with colors that would compliment the natural reddish orange color of your fur."

"That's sweet," Bonnie remarked as she eyed the revealing green and brown outfit with amusement. "Not t' sound ungrateful but are ye really tryin' t' dress a Fox in green? Do ye think I'm Robin Hood?"

"I thought Robin Hood was a human…" Usopp spoke up.

Bonnie looked perplexed, "Robin Hood was a Fox. What version o' the story were you readin'?"

Nami cut in before Usopp could answer, "I'm hearing a lot of excuses but so far I'm seeing no action. What's the matter, foxy? After all that talk about boobs not making the woman are you scared that you don't measure up?"

"Bite me!" Bonnie growled at Nami. She turned and shot Ayako a quick smile then faced Sabo again. "Eat the outfit." The fox sank back into her human boyfriend and disappeared.

Sabo took the dancer outfit from Sanji and balled it up, "Even with as crazy as the Grand Line is… this definitely wasn't something I thought I'd be doing today." Sabo opened his mouth wide and tossed the balled up outfit inside then swallowed it down.

 **Gulp!**

Sabo closed his eyes and concentrated. Bonnie was in the rifle. The rifle was his arm. That made Bonnie a part of him. He pictured Bonnie and her usual outfit. Then he pictured the green and brown dancer outfit. And then he pictured Bonnie in the dancer outfit before he intoned… "Munch Munch Shock… Bonnie Dancer!"

 _ **"** **YIP!"**_

Sabo's eyes shot open in alarm. "Bonnie? You okay?"

 _ **"Aye… er… that felt weird. Somethin' definitely changed. I'm comin' out… hold yer left arm an' leg out t' the side."**_

Sabo pulled up his left sleeve to fully expose his rifle-forearm and then followed Bonnie's instruction and held it out over his extended left leg.

 **Swish!**

Bonnie's head and hands popped out of Sabo's extended left foot. But then her head sank back in while her hands remained out.

 **SWISH!**

Bonnie came shooting back out of the top of Sabo's foot and grabbed onto the barrel of her rifle. The fox then proceeded to do a chin up as she dragged her tail, legs and feet out of Sabo's foot. Bonnie squeezed her legs together and curled them up to her chest as Sabo swung his arm to the side and allowed Bonnie to drop down onto the deck in front of him.

"Yeah Bonnie!" Luffy and Usopp cheered and applauded Bonnie's successful exit.

Bonnie Anne stood on the deck completely free from Sabo's body. She turned to the side and struck a pose with her left leg forward and her right leg back, her left arm out with her thumb and index finger extended like a handgun then winked at the gathered crew. "Well… what do ye think?"

Bonnie was now wearing the dancer outfit Sanji had gotten her but the green and brown on the outfit had faded into blue-scale like the rest of the fox ghost's clothing. Bonnie was still wearing her dark bandana and her formerly brown fingerless leather gloves and leather boots which would have matched perfectly with the brown outline on her dancer outfit's halter top.

Bonnie's dancer outfit appeared to be a cross between Nami's and Vivi's. The formerly green top was outlined in what used to be brown and consisted of more material like Vivi's halter top. But the neckline had a more provocative angled cut like Nami's which revealed a good amount of the white fur on Bonnie's chest and a healthy bit of her modest cleavage. A bit of extra material hung down below the chest in a point which combined with the angled cut of the neckline made the top look like a 'V'.

A formerly pale yellow cape hung down from the back of Bonnie's top and met her once mint green skirt. Bonnie's skirt was a dead ringer for Nami's with the angled cut of the waistband along with the green design at the waist which again resembled a 'V'. The gap between the halter top and skirt exposed the white fur on Bonnie's toned stomach which was further enhanced by the darker 'blue' fur on her sides. The back of the bottoms had the same angled cut which made it easy for the fox's tail to come out as it swung down and curled around her right leg.

"Wow…" Sabo whispered as he stared transfixed at his vixen girlfriend.

 **THUD!**

"AAAH!" Chopper yelped and fell over in surprise. He was a reindeer. He wasn't interested in humans. So seeing Nami, Vivi and Ayako's dancer girl outfits hadn't affected him. But suddenly seeing the older fox in her revealing dancer girl outfit caused the reindeer to fall over and then scramble across the deck so he could duck behind Carue and peek out shyly from the other side while the spot-billed duck continued to stare at the fox with his beak hanging open.

"Bonnie-channe!" Sanji swooned, "You. Look. Stunning."

"She looks like a dancer… but also like she could kick someone's ass…" Usopp remarked.

"You look great, Bon-nee!" Ayako gushed. The revealing tops of their dancer outfits showed that Bonnie's more modest chest was smaller than Vivi's and especially Nami's. But the fox was a good five centimeters taller than the Navigator and stood with a confidence that showed she didn't give a damn about the gap between their bust sizes.

Bonnie's outfit caused Sabo to remember something and he suddenly started laughing, "Hahahahaha!"

The fox scowled and folded her arms across her chest, "Not exactly the reaction I was hopin' for…"

"It's not that," Sabo reassured her, "Remember when Nojiko and I were on that magic djinn thing? I asked her what she'd wish for if she had a magic djinn, she decided _I_ was the magic djinn and wanted three wishes to go with polishing my rifle three times?"

"DAMN IT SABO!" Nami complained as she clapped her hands over her ears. "There are children present! No one needs to hear about my sister polishing your rifle! Least of all _me_!"

"Polishing… OH MY!" Vivi's eyes flew open in surprise while she blushed beet red.

"The point…" Sabo calmly continued. "...is that Nojiko and I were saying that _I_ was the magic djinn… but your new outfit made me finally realize the truth… _you_ were the magic djinn the whole time." Sabo grinned widely. "And there is not a day that goes by where I am not eternally grateful for the magical force responsible for someone as amazing as you into my life."

Bonnie smiled fondly at Sabo then looked over at Luffy, "And _that_ Luffy is how ye earn yerself a dance."

Sabo blinked, "Really?"

"Later. In private," Bonnie replied, "Like Nami said… there are kids present. Now… there's this annoyin' naggin' force pullin' on my back that's tellin' me I need t' go back in the rifle." Bonnie turned so she was facing away from Sabo and made a point to flip Nami off with both hands before she spread her arms and jumped backwards into Sabo and vanished once more.

"If we're done fooling around… can we get back to the matter at hand?" Zoro requested. "We've got an okama to catch. Our scouting team reported that he was already in town and that he's in disguise so our best chance at finding him will be splitting up into groups so we can cover more ground."

"Bonnie and I should go with Luffy," Sabo decided, "That way we can try to find Ace along the way."

Zoro nodded, "Then I'll go with Nami once she puts some actual clothes on… and the cook can go with Usopp and Chopper."

"Hey! How come you get to go with Nami-swan!" Sanji protested.

"Because I won't let her distract me, _love-cook_ ," the Boatswain retorted, "That leaves leaves Ayako, Vivi and Carue here on the ship with candle-guy." Zoro turned to face Ayako, "Ship's Guard, you've got three important jobs while the rest of us are searching for Mr. 2."

Zoro grinned as he held up his three swords and once again used them to count, "Wado ichimonji, guard the ship. That's your job so that one's a given. Yubashiri, make sure no one recognizes Vivi and Carue. News of the Princess of Alabasta returning will reach Crocodile even faster than any rumors of Straw Hat Luffy running through town. And Sandai Kitetsu, make sure Mr. 2's men don't recognize _you_. Their target is your uncle… but creeps like them wouldn't be against using you to find him. Stay hidden, got that?"

"Yes sir," Ayako agreed with a salute.

"Here, you can put these on now…" Usopp offered as he came over with his stack of shrouds.

A moment later, Nami was clad in a white shroud, Vivi midnight purple and Ayako sky blue. The Artist had finally agreed to remove her pink hat so she could further hide her face and remain unnoticed.

The Straw Hats split up and disappeared into Nanohana.

 **BOB**

Sanji and Usopp once again worked their way through Nanohana. Only this time they had Chopper walking along with them in his reindeer form.

"Could he be Mr. 2?" Usopp questioned as he pointed at a tall, muscular man with a panda head.

"No... I think that's Pandaman..." Sanji informed him.

"How 'bout that guy?" Chopper asked as he pointed to a brown haired man with glasses, blue jeans, a red and white striped shirt and a red and white beany. "He looks suspicious!"

"You just found Waldo…" Sanji answered.

"Well then how're we supposed to find this guy?" Usopp demanded. "He could be _anyone_!"

A thoughtful expression crossed Sanji's face as he glanced back towards the harbor, "Maybe we could get some help…"

 **BOB**

"I smell food this way!" Luffy exclaimed. "That's where Ace'll be!"

Sabo nodded as he followed Luffy and carefully scanned the crowds for anyone acting like they were searching for someone. Mr. 2 could look like anyone and it was a crowded town. He could be anywhere.

 _ **"Er… Sabo… while we're here… would ye mind stoppin' off t' get somethin' else for me t' wear?"**_

 _"You mean you don't like your outfit?"_

 _ **"No! No! I love it! I'm so happy t' finally be able t' wear somethin' else for a change. I especially like how ye managed t' keep my shootin' gloves, boots an' bandana."**_

 _"Thanks. I sort of just pictured both outfits and switched them."_

 _ **"Yeah, I figured. But that's just the thing… while ye were picturin' my old outfit… ye weren't thinking about anythin' I might've been wearin' underneath it…"**_

Sabo stumbled. "Wha…"

 _ **"This is embarrasin'... but I need ye t' eat a new pair o' knickers for me."**_

Sabo stopped in his tracks, "You mean… right now… you're–"

 _ **"Goin' commando? Aye! I mean, it's not a pressin' issue since this is a long skirt an' it's not like I can feel a breeze or anythin'... but ye know… before we leave the marketplace..."**_

"Hey Sabo, why's your face red?" Luffy asked.

"No reason!" Sabo squeaked in a voice that was two octaves higher than normal.

"And why's your nose bleeding?" Luffy pressed.

"NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" Sabo snapped as he rubbed his nose. He quickly sought to change the subject. "Uh… what's with that crowd over there?"

"I dunno, something about a dead guy," Luffy replied.

"Let's see what we can find out then," Sabo resolved. He walked up to a random man gawking straight ahead and tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey… sorry to bug you… what's all the commotion about?"

"Some guy just dropped dead in the middle of the Spice Bean," the villager answered. "He was in the middle of a meal and in mid-conversation with the cook. The most common theory is that he ate a Desert Strawberry which is a poisonous spider with venom that's lethal but only after a few days."

"You don't say," Sabo remarked as he turned and shared a wide grin with Luffy. "That sounds like something worth investigating."

Luffy and Sabo worked their way through the crowd and eventually managed to slip inside the Spice Bean Restaurant. Both Luffy and Sabo's faces stretched due to their wide grins when they instantly recognized the source of all the commotion.

Ace was sitting on a stool at the counter. He had a fork and knife clutched in his hands but was currently face-down in the food he was eating. The uninformed observers were all convinced he was dead.

 _ **"Two years later… an' he still hasn't put a shirt on. The tattoo's new though."**_

"That's not just any tattoo," Sabo informed her as he eyed the large manji tattoo with a white crescent beard that covered most of Ace's bare back. "That's the mark of Whitebeard. He's the strongest pirate in the world."

 _ **"Er… I should probably warn ye… the last time Ace an' I met… it didn't exactly go well…"**_

"I'm sure it was just a misunderstanding," Sabo reassured her. "I'll clear it up."

"Who's the guy in the turban talking to?" one of the gawking bystanders wondered. "Is he crazy?"

"Oops…" Sabo mumbled. He casually shrugged then crossed the room and sat down on the stool on Ace's left side and casually slid the tall stack of empty plates from Ace's meal aside. He turned to the cook and called out, "I'll have what he's having."

 **SPROING!**

Luffy sprang across the room and landed on the stool on Ace's other side. He knocked the empty plates out of the way and then picked up a spare fork and knife and banged them on the counter while chanting. "FOOD! FOOD! FOOD! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!"

"Uh… are you sure?" the nervous cook asked. "The guy was eating a lot… and he just dropped dead."

Sabo grinned as he sensed an opportunity. "I thought you'd want to clear your reputation."

"What do you mean by that?" the cook questioned.

"A guy dropped dead eating food you made him," Sabo pointed out. "It might be a coincidence but how long before people start to wonder whether or not your food was what caused it?" The cook went pale. "Do you want word of that to get back to his Captain?" The cook started shaking at the prospect of angering Whitebeard. "If you serve us the same thing and we eat it without croaking… you'll be able to prove that you had nothing to do with it."

"I… right… good idea," the cook realized. "I'll get started right away! Your meal's on the house!"

The cook rushed off to start cooking.

"Yeah! Free food!" Luffy cheered. "Hey Sabo, since you don't need the money from Zoro... can I have it?"

"No."

"What? Why not?"

"Because I know what you plan on spending it on."

"But Nami said I needed money for a–"

"Exactly," Sabo cut him off. "You don't want what she's selling."

 **BOB**

"AH-CHOO!" Nami suddenly sneezed as she snuck through Nanohana with Zoro. "Either all this perfume is getting to me… or someone's talking about me. I bet it's Bonnie. That furry bitch had better watch herself!"

"Shut up!" Zoro suddenly hissed. He stepped in front of Nami then grabbed her wrist to turn her slightly to the side.

"What's the big idea!" Nami growled.

"Look over my right shoulder," Zoro quietly instructed. "Do you see the black haired man that looks like he's a good half a meter taller than everyone else?"

Nami blinked and looked in the indicated direction and spotted a tall man in a navy blue suit with a colorful high collar poking out from under the suit jacket. He had short black hair and a plain-looking face. The man seemed to be scanning the shops and stalls but notably wasn't looking at the merchandise.

"The man in the suit… I see him," Nami confirmed. "You think that's him?"

"Look at his feet," Zoro advised.

Nami glanced down and saw that the man was wearing white… slippers? There was a notable high-step in his stride that made it look like the man was walking on a cloud. "He's light on his feet."

"I think we've found our okama," Zoro announced.

"How'd you notice all that so fast?" Nami wondered.

"Spend a few years as a Pirate Hunter and you pick up a few things," Zoro replied.

"Well… go get him!" Nami prompted.

"No way," Zoro refused.

"What? Why not?" Nami questioned.

"The cook claimed him," Zoro insisted.

"Damn it… why does everything come back to your di…" Nami trailed off when she realized how things had gone the last time she'd used this particular phrase and quickly changed track. "Uh… bounty game?"

"There's a one million berri difference between the cook's bounty and mine," Zoro stated, "And two million berries between mine and the gun-nut's. If I take down this guy… then that'll leave Mr. 1 open for one of them and they'll end up with a higher bounty than me."

"If we don't do something he'll get away!" Nami exclaimed.

"Then what would you suggest?" Zoro countered.

"FOLLOW HIM!" Nami growled in exasperation.

The Pirate Hunter and the Pirate Thief began following the man that they'd identified as Mr. 2.

 **BOB**

"DISH ISH WEALLY GOOT MISHER!" Luffy exclaimed as he and Sabo shoveled down food. Their rapidly growing piles of empty plates were beginning to resemble the ones that Ace had left.

"Are you two really just going to just sit there and stuff yourselves next to dead man!?" a random bystander demanded.

Sabo paused and glanced back at the man who had spoken then turned to look at Ace. "Did any of you think to try waking him up?" He reached out with his right hand and slapped Ace on the back.

 **WHAP!**

 **"URK!"** Ace let out a grunt and finally pulled his face out of his plate.

"HE'S ALIVE!" the entire restaurant shouted.

"Huh… I must've dozed off…" Ace mumbled.

"HE WAS SLEEPING!?" everyone roared.

"I see that your narcolepsy is still a thing," Sabo remarked.

Ace blinked and then grinned when he noticed the duo sitting at his sides. "Luffy! Sabo! You made it!"

"We god urr muthage in Duhm!" Luffy mumbled around a mouthful of food.

"It was actually really lucky," Sabo added, "We were only there because our Navigator got sick. But we were already heading here so maybe we would've run into you anyway."

Ace watched his brothers finish off their food with a content smile but was surprised when he realized that Sabo had matched 'Rubber Stomach' Luffy plate-for-plate. "Hey… how'd you keep up with Luffy?"

"Devil Fruit," Sabo answered simply.

"Oh, that explains it," Ace said.

"Thanks for the food, mister!" Luffy gushed, "It was yummy!"

"On the house, right?" Sabo clarified.

"..." the cook nodded dumbly. He and everyone else were still staring at Ace in shock.

The reunited ASL Brothers stood up and walked out of the restaurant.

"What's with them?" Ace wondered as he glanced at the shocked crowd.

"They thought you were dead," Sabo explained, "You face-planted in mid-conversation."

Back in the restaurant, the cook had a sudden realization. **"HEY! THAT DEAD GUY DIDN'T PAY!"**

"Oops…" Ace mumbled.

"DAMN IT, ACE!" Sabo snapped.

"SHISHISHISHI!" Luffy laughed as he and his brothers took off running. Just like old times.

 **BOB**

"So what are we gonna do with this guy?" Usopp asked as he, Sanji and Chopper stood over Akumai, one of Mr. 2's Billions, in a deserted alley. His black hair was styled to look like a pair of wings while his arms were tied behind his back with his scarf.

"We're going to interrogate him for information that'll help us find Mr. 2," Sanji answered. "He might be able to tell us what the Okama looked like when he left his ship or which direction he went."

"Oh, good idea," Usopp remarked. "How are we gonna do this?"

"Let's go with the classic Good Cop Bad Cop," Sanji suggested. "You act like his new best friend and I'll show him what'll happen to him if he doesn't comply."

"What do I do?" Chopper questioned. "I wanna help too!"

"You can be another Bad Cop," Sanji decided. "Turn into a yeti and try to look intimidating."

"Right!" Chopper agreed. His new outfit stretched as he transformed into his burly Heavy Point form. Chopper pounded his fist together and growled. "Grr… I'm a tough pirate!"

"He's waking up!" Usopp warned them as he knelt down in front of the Baroque Works Agent. "Places!"

Sanji leaned back against the far wall and crossed his arms over his chest as he smoked his cigarette. Chopper looked over at Sanji and copied the cook's intimidating pose.

"Uugghh… okay who's the wise guy that jumped me from behind?" Akumai demanded.

"Those guys did it!" Usopp immediately blurted out as he motioned to Sanji and Chopper behind him. "They wanted to beat you up but I convinced them to give you a chance. We're trying to find Mr. 2. If you help us I'll make sure my crew doesn't hurt you."

"Who's Mr. 2?" Akumai asked with a fake grin. "I have no idea what you're talking about! Now hurry up and untie me, you long-nosed jerk!"

"Long-nosed?" Usopp gasped. "I got this nose from my mother!"

Akumai scoffed, "Well, you've got another thing coming if you think I'm gonna talk just 'cause I got cornered by a mama's boy and some thugs!"

 **THWHAM!**

Sanji spun and drove foot through the wall with a well-placed kick.

"HAH! You think _that_ intimidates me?" the Billion scoffed as he glanced at the hole Sanji's foot at left behind in the wall. "Mr. 2 can kick a wall with just his toes and leave a perfectly round hole."

"So you _do_ know Mr. 2..." Sanji noted.

Akumai glared at him, "Maybe I do. But I ain't tellin' you punks nothin'!"

"Come on, guy!" Usopp prodded their captive, "I'm trying to help you out here! Those two are bad news!"

"Grrr..." Chopper chimed in.

"Bah!" Akumai snorted, "Mr. 2's the only Officer Agent who would bother sticking his neck out for his Billions. You've got another thing coming if you think I'll rat on him."

"We're not gonna hurt him," Usopp reassured the Baroque Works Agent. "Mr. 2's a friend of ours. We uh… just wanna talk with him."

Akumai smirked, "Oh, in that case I'll tell you everything."

"Really?" Usopp asked with a hopeful grin. For a moment he actually believed that his lie had worked.

But that hope was dashed by Akumai's next statement. "Mr. 2… IS OFF NAILING YOUR MAMA!"

Usopp reeled back in shock then lunged at the Officer Agent, "WHY YOU LITTLE–"

"USOPP NO!" Chopper shrieked as he grabbed the enraged sniper and dragged him back.

"LEMME AT HIM!" Usopp yelled. "Now I'm really mad! USOPP… SERIOUS MODE!"

"Ha! You think I'm scared of you, mama's boy?" Akumai jeered.

"Oh... you should be!" Usopp growled, "These guys would've just beaten you up! But now you've made me mad! And I'll do much worse… UUUUSOOOOPP… _SPELL_! I'll start off by giving you a single papercut…" Akumai scoffed again but Usopp continued, "ON YOUR TONGUE!"

Akumai couldn't help wincing. "On my tongue?"

"ON HIS TONGUE!?" Chopper repeated in horror.

"And then… and then I'll jam razor blades between your teeth!" Usopp called out.

"My teeth?" Akumai squeaked.

"BETWEEN HIS TEETH!?" Chopper shrieked.

"And finally… I'll take a red hot needle… AND STICK IT IN YOUR EYE!" Usopp hollered.

"NOO! NOT MY EYE!" Akumai wailed.

"NOT HIS EYE!" Chopper screamed as he clamped his hands over his ears so he couldn't hear anymore.

But in doing so, the reindeer released Usopp. "I'M NOT DONE YET!" Usopp exclaimed as he pulled a small blackboard out of his arsenal bag. "TAKE THIS! UUUUSOOOOOP… NOOOIIISEEE!" Usopp began scratched the blackboard creating a high-pitched screeching noise that sent shivers up everyone's spine.

The unfortunate Baroque Works Agent had his arms bound so he couldn't cover his ears while Usopp continued his 'torture'.

A moment later, Sanji finally intervened and dragged as still angry Usopp away from Akumai who had fallen to the ground and was foaming from his mouth.

"Feel like talking now?" Sanji inquired as he crouched down next to shaking Billion while Chopper finally regained his wits enough to hold Usopp back.

"I'll talk! I'll talk!" Akumai whimpered, "Just keep that lunatic away from me! Mr. 2's on an assassination mission… his target's a deadly assassin. But he can't use his Okama Kenpo when he's disguised as someone else so he's in his normal form. He just took off his makeup and put on a simple blue suit. But I don't know where he is now! I swear that's all I know!"

 **"Special Attack… Tabasco Star!"**

 **Whing!**

An orange round went flying into Akumai's open mouth.

 **FWOOOSH!**

"GAAAAHHH!" the Baroque Works Agent screamed as a torrent of flames burst out of his mouth. "SPICY!"

Usopp stomped up to the thrashing Billion and glared down at him, "I love my mama very much. Now you know that."

"I have no idea what the hell just happened," Sanji confessed, "But whatever it was… it worked. Now we've got a lead. Let's go find Mr. 2."

Usopp, Sanji and Chopper walked out of the alley and left the unconscious Akumai behind them.

 **BOB  
**

"Looks like we lost 'em," Sabo reported as he turned to face his brothers in a different alley.

"Shishishishi!" Luffy laughed. "That reminds me of all those times you used to sneak into the fields… eat a hundred watermelons and then spit out the seeds and run away!"

"THAT WAS _YOU_!" Ace and Sabo chorused.

Ace shook his head, "Still the same old Luffy."

"You've changed though," Sabo noted, "I noticed the tattoo on your back. So you're a Whitebeard Pirate now?"

"Not just any Whitebeard Pirate," Ace replied, "You're looking at the Commander of the Second Division. Sorry Luffy, but Whitebeard's a greatest pirate alive. I'm gonna help him become the Pirate King."

"Then I'll just beat him up," Luffy resolved. "I've gotten a lot stronger since you last saw me!"

"I'm sure," Ace agreed. He couldn't help smiling at his brother's naive confidence.

"At least you're an officer," Sabo remarked. "But I guess this means Luffy was the only one of us who ended up as a Pirate Captain."

"I _was_ a Captain for a time," Ace informed him. "That's what _this_ tattoo represents." Ace turned and showed Sabo his left arm. There was a blue 'A' tattooed on his shoulder in the same color and font as the rarely seen 'S' tattoo on Sabo's. The 'A' was surrounded by an orange flaming spade. "I was the Captain of the Spade Pirates for a year. But they joined the Whitebeard Pirates with me and are are members of my division."

"Are they here with you?" Sabo inquired.

"No, I'm here alone," Ace answered. "I'm currently hunting for a former crewmate of mine that calls himself Blackbeard. He committed the ultimate sin and killed a fellow member of our crew. Now I'm trying to bring him to justice. I decided to take a break from my search so I could give you guys a proper welcome to the Grand Line."

"Blackbeard?" Sabo repeated. "We heard about what he did in Drum Kingdom. Sounds like bad news."

"I don't like to talk about him, though," Ace admitted then smirked and glanced at Sabo's left shoulder. "So? Did you get your new tattoo or not?"

"I did," Sabo told him as he began undoing the buttons on his waistcoat and shirt with his good hand. "But unlike you, I've got a few layers to remove." Sabo pulled his shirt open and then slid it and his outer cloak down his left arm to the gun at his elbow. Sabo turned and revealed the updated tattoo on his left arm.

The familiar blue 'S' was now coiled around an equally familiar rifle. The top of the 'S' went behind the weapon while the middle part wrapped around the front before swinging around again so the bottom part of the 'S' could go behind the rifle.

"Not bad," Ace commented. He glanced at his brother's new arm and finally decided to address the elephant in the room. "I see you've gotten attached to that rifle I sent you."

Sabo grinned while Luffy fell over and burst out laughing, "Shishishishishishi!"

"Funny story about Drum Kingdom," Sabo said, "I had the displeasure of meeting their former King. We fought to the death and I walked away with his Munch Munch Devil Fruit Powers. Now I can eat anything and anything I eat I can make part of my body. I ate the rifle and now she's my arm."

"So you manage to fix it then," Ace realized. "The thing went nuts when I first found it."

"Ace… there is absolutely nothing wrong with this rifle and there never was," Sabo replied. "She's perfect."

 _ **"Enough teasin'... let 'im have it…"**_

Sabo smirked, "Ace… I think it's about time you met my girlfriend."

Ace blinked at what seemed to be a sudden change of subject but then smiled, "You've got a girlfriend? That makes you the first of us to get one. What's she like? How'd you meet?"

"Heh…" Sabo chuckled, "Actually… I met her because of you."

"SHISHISHISHISHISHISHI!" By now Luffy was rolling on the ground laughing at the top of his lungs.

"What's with him?" Ace wondered.

Sabo pulled up the sleeve of his cloak to fully reveal his rifle-forearm and held it up in front of him. "Ace… meet my girlfriend Bonnie Anne."

Ace blinked. "Your rifle's your girlfriend?"

Sabo smirked, "Not exactly…"

 **Swish!**

Bonnie's head, arms and upperbody popped out of the top of the rifle. "Hi! Bonnie Anne, nice t' finally meet ye properly."

"WAAH!" Ace let out a yelp of surprise and lurched backwards. He tripped over a barrell and fell on his ass.

 **THUD!**

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Luffy was laughing so hard that tears were coming out of his eyes. Seeing Ace fall flat on his ass had been worth all the build up.

Ace sat up and stared at the ghost fox in shock. "You're… a Mink?"

"Sure… let's go with that," Bonnie agreed.

"And you…"

"...trapped in the rifle," Bonnie supplied. "The ghost thing is relatively new. The rifle broke during our fight with Wapol. I was dyin' but Sabo saved me usin' the Munch Munch Fruit. I retained my ghost phasin' so I can pop out whenever I want. I'm tied t' Sabo so I can't go too far from 'im. It takes a great deal o' effort t' completely separate myself from 'im. An' even then I can only do it for a minute or two."

"And… when we first met…" Ace recalled.

"I had only just discovered that I was trapped in the rifle when I met ye," Bonnie explained. "I was kind o' overwhelmed by the situation… an' ye ended up bein' my introduction t' Devil Fruit Powers. I'm sorry about what happened with yer crew."

Sabo blinked in surprise, "Ace… you've got Devil Fruit Powers too?"

Luffy finally stopped laughing and sat up. "That makes three of us! What kind of powers do you have?"

Ace glanced at his brothers… then at Bonnie. "You didn't tell them?"

Bonnie shrugged, "It wasn't my story t' tell. Now ye can get 'em back."

Ace grinned as he stood up and held his arms behind his back, "Let me have it."

 **KER-CHOW-CHOW-CHOW!**

"BONNIE NOOO!" Sabo yelped in alarm as one bullet pierced through Ace's head while two more left gaping holes in his chest.

 **FWOOOOSH!**

Luffy and Sabo's Devil Fruit-powered jaws literally hit the floor as the edges of the bullet holes in Ace's body ignited in flames and shrunk down until they closed completely. Flames continued to dance around the brim of Ace's orange cowboy hat.

"I ate the Flame Flame Fruit," Ace informed his dumbstruck brothers. "Now I can control and become fire. That's why I'm known as 'Fire Fist' Portgas D. Ace."

"WHOOOAAA!" Luffy and Sabo gasped in amazement.

Ace turned his attention back to the ghost coming out of his brother's arm. "So how'd you end up inside the rifle?"

"It's a long story that's really hard t' believe," Bonnie replied, "Maybe we should just go with Devil Fruit?"

Ace nodded and looked willing to accept that simple explanation.

Sabo snapped out of his shock and gave his girlfriend a meaningful look, "It's okay Bonnie. They're my brothers. I trust them with my life. You can tell them."

Luffy grabbed the barrel Ace had tripped over and stood it on its end. "Here Ace! We can arm wrestle while Bonnie tells her story! I'm gonna beat you this time!"

"Oh, you're so on!" Ace agreed.

 **BOB**

"He's right there! Go get him!" Nami urged Zoro.

"Sorry… I've already staked my claim in taking down Mr. 1," Zoro refused. "He's worth more."

"Every second we waste just following him is another second he can use to get away," Nami insisted.

"Why don't _you_ fight him?" Zoro suggested. "Your bounty's the one that needs a boost the most. And the cook probably won't cause a problem if you were the one to take out his target."

"I don't care about a bounty!" Nami growled. "I care about making sure that creep can't show my face… or my other body parts… to anyone of consequence!"

"Then I guess we'll just keep following him," Zoro resolved.

"You know what? FINE!" Nami snapped. " _I'll_ do it!"

Zoro folded his arms across his chest and watched as Nami stalked off after Mr. 2. "This I've gotta see…"

The thief managed to dash passed Mr. 2 while he was looking the other then stuck out her foot while he was distracted searching a stall for his target.

 **WHUP!**

Mr. 2 tripped over Nami's outstretched leg. The crafty Pirate Thief pulled off the hood of her shroud and fished inside it for her weapon but she froze in shock when the man she'd tripped flipped in midair.

 **SKISH!**

Mr. 2 landed safely on his feet, "HEY? WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA!?"

"Oh shit!" Zoro swore as he reached for his swords and rushed after Nami as the Baroque Works Officer Agent whirled around to face her. But Zoro stopped in his tracks when the okama's face lit up with a thousand watt smile when he recognized Nami.

"OH! IT'S YOU!" Mr. 2 exclaimed. "What're you doing here?"

"I… uh… uh…" Nami stammered for a second but then took a deep calming breath and regained her nerve. "Don't you remember from when you were on our ship? My crew was heading for the same place as you were. Our Captain and Quartermaster are meeting their brother here."

"Oh, that's right," Mr. 2 realized, "Dodger said you were heading for Alabasta. It's funny that we suddenly ran into each other."

"Yeah… funny…" Nami remarked as Zoro walked up behind her.

"There you are…" Zoro said, "You shouldn't have run off like that."

"I… recognized Bon-buddy," Nami quickly lied.

"I'm afraid I don't have time to chat, my friends," Mr. 2 informed them. "You see… I'm looking for a man."

"..." Even though he knew what the Okama really meant… Zoro still took a big step back.

"Actually… I normally wouldn't ask this… but I'm kind of desperate," Mr. 2 confessed as he reached into his suit jacket and pulled out a picture of Mr. 3. "You haven't seen this man by any chance have you?"

"I can't say I have…" Nami replied, "That hairstyle is distinct."

"Too bad… and so the search continues…" Mr. 2 sighed as he slipped the picture back into his pocket.

"Hey… if you'd like… we can help you look," Zoro suggested. "You know… three is better than one. And we have some time to kill while those other two are meeting with their brother."

"I don't know… I really shouldn't drag my new friends into a dangerous situation like this one…" Mr. 2 thought outloud. "But if I _don't_ find him then _I'll_ be the one in danger… and then my crew won't be able to learn more dance moves…" The okama smiled and flashed the two pirates a thumbs up, "VERY WELL! I accept your gracious offer! You were able to spot me… that's a quite a feat in and of itself. But I must insist upon one rule: should you spot my target... refrain from approaching him. He's very dangerous so once we find him leave everything to me."

Mr. 2 did a double spin and pranced off. Zoro and Nami shared a glance and then fell into step behind him. "Let's go, friends!" Mr. 2 crowed. "I've got a good feeling that he's this way!"

"So what was the point of this?" Nami whispered to Zoro.

"Now we have an excuse to tail him until we run into the others," Zoro answered.

 **BOB**

"So you came out of the portal and immediately fell five thousand meters and landed right on my head?" Ace recapped as he continued to arm wrestle Luffy after Bonnie had finished her story.

"Aye," Bonnie answered. "That's why I'm no longer a fan o' heights. An' I'm sorry again about what happened with yer crew… I was in a new place an' then I discovered yer Devil Fruit Powers... I was terrified."

"Don't worry, it's in the past," Ace reassured her. "I'm glad you're okay. It looks like you and Sabo have managed to keep Luffy out of trouble. So thanks for that."

"I can't really take credit for that…" Bonnie confessed. "I was watchin' Sabo's back. He was the one keepin' an eye on Luffy."

"So far we've managed to conduct ourselves like honorable pirates," Sabo stated. "The Marines haven't had a reason to put prices on our heads. Of course… as soon as we met you that all went out the window. Aren't you a big-time pirate now? What's with the dine-and-dash?"

Ace smirked, "What's the matter, Dodger, you're not going soft are you?"

Sabo raised an eyebrow, "That sounds like a challenge... _Oliver_."

"It is," Ace replied, "Now that you're down to one hand I bet you're barely half the thief you used to be."

"I told you that we've been trying to conduct ourselves honorably," Sabo pointed out. "But I guess you're just a bad influence." Sabo shrugged and glanced out of the alley. "Fine. Challenge accepted."

"I'll get out o' the way…" Bonnie resolved as she sank back into her rifle.

"That guy…" Sabo pointed over his shoulder at a random man outside of the alley. He had longish black hair and tanned skin and wore a green cap, a white fur scarf and a red t-shirt with the kanji for 'Full-Boiled'. Unbeknownst to the three brothers… the man was actually a disguised Baroque Works Billion codenamed Mr. Mellow. "Sixty seconds. Time me."

Luffy and Ace continued to arm wrestle as they watched their brother walk out of the alley and subtly stick out his foot just as Mr. Mellow turned to walk away.

 **THUD!**

Mr. Mellow tripped over Sabo's foot and fell on his face.

"Sorry about that, buddy!" Sabo immediately apologized as he bent down to help the disguised Billion up by hooking his good arm around the man's waist.

"Uh… yeah… watch where you're going…" Mr. Mellow muttered as he stood back up.

"Well… no harm done," Sabo remarked as his right hand briefly disappeared up the loose sleeve of his cloak and then slipped back out in time for him to tip his top hat-turned-turban. "Sorry for the trouble."

Sabo turned and walked back into the alley. Mr. Mellow's watched him for a moment but then his eyes went wide in shock when he spotted the shirtless pirate arm wrestling on a barrel in the alley.

"Th-that's… F-Fire Fist Ace!" Mr. Mellow realized. The Billion turned and ran off.

"Fifty-two seconds… not bad," Ace praised Sabo when he pulled out the small sack he'd stolen.

 **Clink!**

The gold in the sack jingled when Sabo dropped it on the edge of the barrel his brothers were arm wrestling on. "Here, whoever wins can have this as prize money."

"Great! I can use it to buy a dance!" Luffy realized.

"WAAH?" Ace's eyes bugged out and his jaw dropped. His strength wavered for a fraction of a second which was just enough for Luffy to slam his oldest brother's arm down on the barrel.

 **THUNK!**

Luffy stretched his arms high overhead and cheered at the top of his lungs, "YEAH! I FINALLY WIN!"

"..." Ace silently closed his mouth then slowly turned to glare at Sabo, **"What did you do?"**

Sabo sheepishly rubbed the back of his head, "It wasn't completely my fault! Our Navigator kissed him out of spite! And now he's got hormones!"

"NOOOOOO!" Ace shouted in abject horror. "HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN!?"

"Let? You think I wanted this!?" Sabo retorted. "I had to explain the difference between boys and girls!"

"Oh yeah, and now for some reason I keep thinking about boobs," Luffy chimed in. "Why is that?"

"Please, please, can you handle this one?" Sabo begged. "I'm stuck on a ship with him… and I had to give him the Talk! You're his brother too!"

"This isn't over…" Ace growled. He took on a pained expression as he slowly turned to face Luffy again. "Luffy… it's normal to think about boobs. All guys do it. What's _not normal_ is talking about them like some kind of pervert."

Of course, while Ace continued his awkward conversation with Luffy… Bonnie decided to chime in.

 _ **"So thinkin' about tits is normal, eh?"**_

 _"Please… this is the last thing I need right now…"_

 _ **"Oh no, now I'm curious. Tell me, hon, what did YOU think about Nami's chest?"**_

 _"I know a trap when I hear one. I'm not answering that."_

 _ **"No? How 'bout this one: whose boobs do ye like better? Mine or Nojiko's?"**_

 _"Hold on! I haven't even seen yours!"_

 **SPURT!**

Ace and Luffy turned in time to see Sabo go flying across the alley and slam into the far wall courtesy of a torrent of blood from his nose. He'd rocketed away so fast that a fully formed Bonnie Anne was left standing in the spot he'd just blasted off from.

Bonnie looked exceptionally pleased with herself and her tail gave a happy swish while she adjusted the top of her dancer outfit. The fox smirked as she looked back over her shoulder at Luffy. "There yer proof, Luffy. All guys love boobs. But it goes double if ye care about the girl they're attached to."

Ace rubbed his throbbing forehead, "Was that really necessary?"

"Believe it or not… yes," Bonnie answered. "I couldn't have my boyfriend thinkin' about some other girl's knockers. An' I just confirmed that yer brother either loves me enough that he doesn't care that I'm a Fox… or he _really is_ a Furry an' is into Foxes. Either way, I know now that he's attracted t' me."

"Bonnie _you_ have boobs!" Luffy suddenly realized.

Bonnie rolled her slanted eyes, "Aye, well spotted. Nothin' gets passed you, Cap'n."

Ace glared at Bonnie, "You know what? Since you're so eager to share… I'll let you handle this one."

"Er… that's alright… he's yer brother after-all…" Bonnie attempted to protest before Luffy started to pepper her with more awkward questions.

"Bonnie! Since you're a fox… are yours covered in fur? What do boobs actually do? Are they like muscles? Since Nami's are biggest on our ship does that mean she's the strongest?"

"THAT HAS NOTHIN' T' DO WITH ANYTHIN'!" Bonnie snapped. "If I had my body back I could kick that topheavy tramp's arse!" Bonnie spun around and then ran and dove head-first back into Sabo.

"Uugghhh…" a flushed Sabo groaned as he sat up and rubbed his nose.

Ace walked over and helped him up, "I think I'd like to meet this crew of yours."

"They're somewhere in the town," Luffy said. "We're actually here trying to catch an okama."

"Well, he's not here," Ace pointed out. "Let's go find him."

"Hold on," Sabo spoke up, "Before we do that... can you keep Luffy distracted for a couple minutes? I promised Bonnie I'd buy her some... _unmentionables._ "

 ** _"Aw, ye remembered!"_**

"Unmentionables?" Luffy repeated as Sabo slipped out of the alley. "Is that some kind of secret mission?"

"Yes... and they're called unmentionables because you're not supposed to talk about them," Ace informed him. "Enough about that. Tell me more about this Navigator of yours..."

 **BOB**

Nami suddenly shivered as she was hit by a cold wave of dread. "Do you ever get a sinking feeling that you just pissed off someone really powerful?"

"Yeah, I love that feeling," Zoro replied.

"Well _I'm_ trying to _avoid_ getting that feeling!" Mr. 2 exclaimed. "There's no sign of him anywhere! It feels like we've searched this whole town."

"Yeah… all without running into _anybody_ ," Nami remarked sourly.

"If he's not in Nanohana… then there's only one other place in this country where he could be!" Mr. 2 suddenly realized. "I'm sorry, my friends! I must be off! Even though we were unsuccessful, I appreciate your help none-the-less!"

Mr. 2 suddenly spun and started sprinting for the harbor.

"Shit! He's getting away!" Zoro swore as he and Nami tore after him.

"Damn, this guy's way too fast!" Nami complained.

Zoro and Nami were so caught up in keeping their eyes on the long-legged man who was already putting some major distance between them, that they didn't notice three familiar faces going across the street ahead of them.

 **THUNK!**

"GAAAH! I need a doctor!" Chopper wailed after Zoro tripped over him.

"That's _you_!" Usopp reminded him.

"Walk much, marimo?" Sanji taunted the fallen swordsman. The sack of food tucked under his arm showed that the trio had stopped to buy a few essentials over the course of their unsuccessful search.

"Oh sure, _now_ you guys show up…" Nami grumbled.

"What's the matter, Nami-swan?" Sanji inquired.

"IT'S MR. 2!" Zoro shouted as he pointed down the street, "HE'S GETTING AWAY!"

Zoro and Chopper scrambled back up and the five Straw Hats raced after Mr. 2. But the Baroque Works Officer Agent had put even more distance between himself and his pursuers while they had been tripping over each other and had already reached the harbor.

The Straw Hats arrived just in time to see the Swanda pull away from the shore.

But Mr. 2 wasn't the only one leaving a hurry. It seemed like there was a flood of people rushing to the shore and taking off in ships. The armada of Baroque Works ships that they had spotted earlier and come closer and were now forming a blockade outside of the harbor.

"What's going on?" Nami wondered. "Did they recognize us? Did they recognize Vivi?"

" **Actually… someone recognized Ace."**

The five Straw Hats whirled around to spot their Captain and Quartermaster. Sabo's face was still sporting a faint flush from his shopping excursion with Bonnie.

"Oh! There you guys are!" Luffy exclaimed.

 **Swish!**

Bonnie popped out of Sabo's shoulder, "It turns out Ace is actually a big-name pirate. Some Baroque Works Agent recognized 'im an' now they're all mad as badgers!"

"Badgers?" Sabo repeated.

"Ye've never met one?" Bonnie asked. "Really unpleasant. They're angry all the time."

"We don't have time for this!" Zoro growled. "Mr. 2's getting away!"

"We've gotta go after him!" Sanji realized.

"But… what about the blockade?" Chopper questioned.

"Ace said he'd handle it and meet up with us after," Sabo answered.

"Then let's get back to the ship!" Usopp resolved. "We've gotta make sure Vivi, Ayako Carue and the Going Merry are all okay!"

The seven Straw Hats rushed back to the Going Merry and quickly got on board.

"What's going on?" a near frantic Vivi asked. "Everything was quiet! Now the place has gone wild!"

 **"QUACK!"** Carue shrieked in alarm.

"Did you guys meet your brother?" Ayako calmly inquired.

Sabo peered off the side of the ship, "Actually… he's right over there."

The Straw Hats rushed to the railing and saw a lone shirtless figure wearing an orange cowboy hat standing on a small yellow raft with a motor and a single sail.

 **"WE'VE GOT YOU NOW, PORTGAS D. ACE!"** Mr. Mellow shouted from on the lead ship of the Baroque Works Blockade.

"Oh really?" Ace asked.

 **FWOOSH!**

His legs suddenly burst into flame which he channeled back through his raft's motor which caused it come alive and speed across the harbor.

 **VRRROOOOOOM!**

Ace sped straight towards the blockade on his tiny flame-powered raft without an ounce of fear. His hand ignited in flames as he drew it back and let it fly. "FIIIIREEE… FIIIIST!"

 **FWWOOOOOOOOOOOMMM!**

A massive blast of fire came flying out of Ace's fist and completely consumed the first ship. But the flames kept burning as the burst through the lead ship and shredded it and all the ships behind it.

 **FWOOOOSH-WOOOSH-WOOOOSH!**

Ace calmly sailed away charred and burned remains that he'd left in his wake. The entire blockade of Baroque Works Battleships and all the Billions and Millions that had been manning them… had been annihilated by just one attack from Whitebeard's Second Division Commander.

Sabo let out an appreciative whistle, "Looks like we won't have to worry about destroying Crocodile's ship. Ace just roasted his entire armada!"

"SHISHISHISHISHI!" Luffy laughed while the crew stared in open-mouthed shock at the devastation Ace's attack had left behind. "Guys! Meet my big brother… 'Fire Fist' Ace!"

 **BOB**

Good news everyone! Ace'll be sticking around for longer than in canon! Bad news everyone! I'm going to be really busy for the next couple of weeks so it might take a while for me to finish the next chapter. But I think it'll be worth the wait.

Silver signing off


End file.
